Men`s Health The Big Book of Uncommon Knowledge

Men`s Health The Big Book of Uncommon Knowledge
What’sInside
...
Introduction:HowtoKnow
EverythingAboutAnything
Chapter1:100
ThingsEveryMan
ShouldKnow
HOW TO . . .
Open a beer without a bottle
opener; spin a basketball on a
finger; save a life; block a
haymaker; cradle a baby; whistle
with your fingers; hone a knife;
launch a snot rocket; pour a black &
tan; make a signature drink; make a
toast; change spark plugs; throw a
curveball; steer a horse; delivery a
eulogy; catch a snake; flirt like a
player; tie a trucker’s hitch; save for
anything; kick in a door; build a
bone-crushing handshake; useful
rules; and much more.
Chapter2:Survivein
theWild
HOW TO . . .
Start a fire with a flashlight; paddle a
canoe; eat a pine tree; survive a
bear attack; swim with sharks; make
a life preserver from your trousers;
catch a fish; clean a fish; flip
campfire flapjacks; shit in the
woods; find north without a
compass; avoid stinging bees; know
a crappie from a brownie; stay warm
in a sleeping bag; remove a tick;
scale a boulder; and ID a big bird.
Chapter3:Muscle
andFitness
HOW TO . . .
Blast belly fat; build massive biceps;
scale a rope; become a human flag;
lose 10 pounds; banish back pain;
punch a speed bag; pound a heavy
bag; escape a botched bench press;
make a workout sandbag; turn a
towel into a barbell; put your spare
tire to work; massage sore muscles;
choose a four-legged running
partner; swing a kettlebell; run
faster; make the perfect protein
shake; and master the swimmer’s
flip turn.
Chapter4:Stealth
Health
HOW TO . . .
Play doctor; clear a stuffy nose;
soothe a smashed thumb; relieve a
blow to the groin; beat a bad mood;
improve your posture; go to sleep
faster; give yourself the Heimlich;
grow your brain; pump up your
penis; erase a black eye; and
diagnose your aches and pains.
Chapter5:Styleand
Grooming
HOW TO . . .
Stock the perfect wardrobe; look
great in a suit; fold a shirt; shine
shoes like a soldier; trim gnarly
nose hairs; look younger and leaner
with clothes; remove stains on a
shirt; unstick a stuck zipper; match a
shirt collar to your face; match a tie
to your suit; break in a baseball cap;
tie a half-Windsor knot; dimple your
tie; whiten your teeth; fix a bad
haircut; and make a statement with
eyewear.
Chapter6:Women
HOW TO . . .
Pick up women; date out of your
league; choose the perfect gift; tell if
she digs you; give her a great
massage; use your manners; pass
her Google exam; make the first
move; deliver a hot French kiss;
make her your centerfold; buy
lingerie; argue and win; read her
signals; survive the spoon; speak
her language; and understand
hormones.
Chapter7:Work
HOW TO . . .
Train your boss like a dog; give an
award-winning presentation; find the
safest stall in the men’s room; ask
for a raise; outsmart your office
rival; master the art of small talk;
bounce back from a screwup; land
the best seat on an airplane; write a
kick-ass recommendation; score a
hotel upgrade; spin a pen in your
fingers; land a job by voicemail;
know when to shut up; raise your
profile at work; drink with the boss
and remain employed; work a room;
and retire rich.
Chapter8:Eatlikea
Man
HOW TO . . .
Make incredible French toast; crack
an egg with one hand; MacGyver a
walnut; roll your own sushi; cook
like a subcontractor; steam the
perfect lobster; grow your own
salsa; cook the perfect burger and
pasta; pan-sear a juicy steak; make
chicken soup from scratch; cook a
turkey in a trash can; spring-clean
your grill; mix incredible sangria;
burn your tongue with real Texas
chili; shuck an oyster with a
screwdriver; roll the perfect burrito;
and make to-die-for guacamole.
Chapter9:Howto
WinatEverything
HOW TO . . .
Kick butkus in flag football; win an
argument; rule a pool table; win a
bar fight; punt a football high and
deep; pull off an epic April Fools'
joke; triumph in arm wrestling; beat
a speeding ticket; win at Scrabble;
shred air guitar; learn a great bar
trick; blast clay pigeons out of the
sky; dominate pub darts; improve
your golf score; be a foosball
wizard; ace your fantasy football
draft; bowl more strikes; win your
date a stuffed bunny; crash the front
row of a concert; score a spot on a
game show; and pick stocks that
soar.
Chapter10:Your
Cave
HOW TO . . .
Break into your own home; paint a
room; build a workbench; thaw
frozen water pipes; hang drywall;
declog a sink; fix a lawn mower;
build a kegerator; split a log; stack
firewood; replace a door; drown
slugs; build a tree house; kick
squirrels out of your house; build a
crib for Cujo; move furniture like a
pro; clean up a grime scene; and
craft an Adirondack chair out of an
old pallet.
Chapter11:BigFun
HOW TO . . .
Rig a rope swing; build your own
water park; teach your dog to fetch
a beer from the fridge; build ladder
golf; carve a smashing pumpkin; fly
a stunt kite; teach your dog to play
dead; host an epic poker game;
paddle a dragon boat; earn your
pilots’ wings; dig a horseshoe pit;
build a backyard ice rink; scare the
hell out of trick-or-treaters; carve an
ice sculpture; shred a terrain park;
and plan the perfect getaway.
ThankstoEveryoneInthe
Trenches
Introduction
How to Know
Everything About
Anything
Doyouknowitall?
Ididn’tthinkso.Andthat
makesyouprettysmart,
accordingtoSocrates,who
said:
“Theonlytrue
wisdomisknowing
youknownothing.”
WhenIfirstreadthatline,
itmademefeelalotbetter
aboutmyignorance.The
olderIget,themoreoftenI
encounterexperiencesthat
demonstratehowverylittleI
reallyknow.
Talkingwithmyteenage
daughters,forexample.
Buttherearemany,many
otherinstanceswhereI’ve
feltthat“Ishouldreallyknow
howtodothis”onlybecause
I’mamanandmenare
supposetoknowthisstuff.
Stufflikecalculatinga
pitcher’searnedrunaverage
(it’searnedrunsdividedby
inningspitchedx9),
changingsparkplugs,or
hangingdrywall.Haveyou
evertriedtohangdrywallon
aceiling?It’snoteasyunless
you’reprivytoacritical
carpenter’strick.Iwasn’t
whenourupstairsshower
leakedinthehouseandthe
watersoakedtheceilingof
thedownstairshalf-bath.The
drywallswelled,thenburst,
creatingarealmess.Icalleda
plumbertofixtheleak,but
sinceit’sasmallish
bathroom,IfiguredIcould
replacetheceilingwithnew
drywallmyself.Howhard
coulditbe?Iremovedthe
soggybits,yankedouttheold
nails,cutnewSheetrockto
fit,andthencalledmyUncle
Rogtogivemeahand.
RogpressedtheSheetrock
againstthefloorjoistsasI
droveindrywallscrews.That
wasaplan,atleast.Itdidn’t
worksowell.Thedrywall
waslargerandheavierthanI
hadanticipated,anditsagged
eventhoughUncleRog
spreadhishandswideandI
usedmyfreehandtoholdup
oneend.Asthebloodrushed
fromouroutstretchedarms,
ourhandsbecamenumband
useless.Andwelaughed,
whichmadeeverythingmuch
worse.
“Weneedmorehands,”I
laughed.“Or...adeadman,”
Rogsaid.“Weshouldhave
madeadeadman.”
Incarpentryparlance,a
deadmanisaT-shapedbrace
madefromscraplumberthat
leansagainstawalland
supportsthedrywallceiling
ononeendsoyoucanfasten
theotherend.
Ihadneverheardofa
deadmanbefore,butthis
tidbitofuncommon
knowledgemadeallthe
difference.Wenailed
togetheradeadman,andmy
newceilingwentupin
minuteswithoutahitch.
Whenitcomestohanging
overheaddrywall,Iknow
nexttonothing.Butatleast
nowIknowwhatadeadman
isandhowtoconstructone,
andIcanmanagetouseone
right.Andnowyouknow,
too,oryouwillwhenyouget
toChapter10.
Ithinkthat’swhatSocrates
hadinmind:Nooneisan
expertateverything,
especiallyguyslikemewho
didn’thaveanolderbrother
orafatherwholikedtotinker
with
hammers/cars/guns/electronics/
instruments/baseballbats/etc.
Thepointisthatthere’sso
muchtoknowandsomuch
wedonotknow.Awiseguy
isonewhorealizesthisand
embracesit.Asmartmanwill
keephismouthshut—ornot
attempttohangdrywall
overhead—untilhehas
gatheredthefactsand
exploredtheempirical
evidencetoknowwhathe’s
talkingabout.
Awisemanadmits,“I
don’thaveafriggin’clue,so
Iwillfindout.”
Men’sHealthmagazine
wasfoundedonthatnotion
morethan25yearsagobya
bunchofguyswhoweren’t
tooproudtoadmitthatthey
didn’tknowjackshitabout
stayinghealthy,keepingfit,
groomingordressing
themselves,reducingstressin
theirlives,wooingwomen,
cookingadecentmeal,
trainingpets,rearingchildren,
andaboutazillionother
thingsaguyshouldknow
howtodo.Sotheysetoutto
learnandthentopassthat
learningontotensofmillions
ofreadersin,now,60
countries.
Overtheyearsthis
“uncommonknowledge”has
appearedinvariousplacesin
Men’sHealth—insections
titledMalegrams,HowtoDo
EverythingBetter,
Advantage,RealLife,and,
yup,UncommonKnowledge
—reportedandwrittenbya
slewofpeoplewhopossess
thecuriositytosearchforthe
uncommonanswersto
uncommonquestionsand
presenttheminawaythatis
usefulandfuntoread.This
bookisanamalgamationof
manyofthosetips,hints,
tricks,andstrategiescurated
toprovideyouwiththe
ultimatehandbookfor
navigatinglife’schallenges
andopportunitieswithskill
andswaggerlikeyouknow
whatyou’redoing.
There’stonsofusefulstuff
inside—checkout“What’s
Inside...”.Thengosit
underashadytreeandstart
reading.You’llbecomea
better,smarter,moreuseful
manalmostinstantly.
JeffCsatari
ExecutiveEditor
Men’sHealth
Books
100Things
EveryMan
ShouldKnow
You Don’t Have to
Be an Expert. Just
Act Like One.
Youareexpectedtoknow
anddocertainthingsinlife
simplybyvirtueofhavingan
XandaYchromosomeand
thecriticalSRYgeneonthe
tipofyourYthatturnedyou
intoaboywaybackwhen.
Importantthingslike
breakinginabaseballmittor
launchingasnotrocket,and
dead-seriousstufflike
handlingachainsawor
deliveringamovingeulogy.
Thisisnottosaythatfemales
shouldn’tknowhowtodo
thesethings,too.Butwhen
you’reaman(orwantto
becomeabetterone),these
arerequiredskills.Needto
learnquicklyhowtocradlea
baby,makeatoast,
troubleshootacarengine,flirt
moreeffectively,ortiea
trucker’shitch(notrelatedto
flirting)?You’reinagood
place.WebeginMen’s
Health:TheBigBookof
UncommonKnowledgewitha
chapterofcriticalguy
wisdom—hints,tips,tricks,
andsecretsthat’llhelpyou
embracelifewithskill,
confidence,andalittlemore
moxiethanyouhad
yesterday.
HOW TO OPEN
BOTTLED BEER
WITHOUT A
BOTTLE OPENER
Useyourkeys.Choosethe
longestkeyonyourkeychain.
Grabthebottlearoundthe
neckwithyourlefthand,
allowingtheneckofthe
bottletoextendaboveyour
indexfingerandthumb.
Aligntheshaftofthekeyso
thattheleftedgeisjustunder
thecapofthebottle.Thetip
ofthekeyshouldlieacross
thebottomhalfofyourleft
indexfinger.Tip:Thekey
shouldextendfarenough
ontoyourleftfingerthatyou
don’tpierceyourskin.While
leveringoffyourleftindex
finger,useyourrighthandto
popthetopoffofthebottle.
HowtoPickUpthe
Check
Themorediscreetyouare
aboutyouractof
generosity,theclassier
you’lllook,saysetiquette
expertDianeGottsman.
Quietlyhandyourcredit
cardtothehostorserver
whenyoufirstenterthe
restaurant.Ifyoumissyour
chance,waituntilthe
serverdeliversthecheck,
reachforitcasually,and
slipyourcardinwithout
stoppingtheconversation.
Don’tworryaboutlooking
thebilloverforerrors—
youcantakeacopyanddo
thatlater.Ifyourguest
offerstochipin,wavehim
orheroffonce,butifheor
shepressesfurther,accept.
“Don’tletitbecomeatugofwar,”saysGottsman.
SLIDE A BEER
DOWN THE BAR
1. Prepare the
Platform
Ifyou’reoutatapub,check
thebarsurface.Aheavily
lacqueredwoodenbarwitha
slipperysheen—andwithout
pitsorchips—worksbest.If
it’syourownbasementbar,
slickupthesurfacebyhitting
itwithglasscleanerorwood
polish.
2. Use a BottomHeavy Glass
Youwanta16-ouncepint
glass.Itssolidbasegivesthe
glassalowcenterofgravity
—essentialforpreventinga
tip-over.Don’ttrythiswitha
goblet,pilsnerglass,orany
otherslenderortop-heavy
glassware.
3. Don’t Fill It Too
High
Theglassshouldbeabout
three-quartersfull;that
amountofliquidwillweigh
downthebottomhalfofthe
glasstogiveitmoresupport
asittravels.Anymorecould
causetoppling.(Practicewith
water,lestyouspillperfectly
goodbeer.)
4. Send It Flying
Standparalleltothebar,
arm’slengthaway.Wrap
yourhandaroundthebottom
thirdoftheglass.Ina
smooth,sweepingmotion,
gentlypushtheglasstoward
yourpalwithlittleornospin
tokeeptheflightpathon
point.Nowwatchitslide...
Rule #1
Pizza is generally a nutritious
meal that derives 25 to 30
percent of its calories from fat
—if you avoid meat toppings.
HOW TO POUR A
BLACK & TAN
There’sacrafttopouringa
black&tanthatseparates
intotwolayers,andalarge
spoonandtherightglassare
key,saysAdamWells,
bartenderatBrendanBehan
PubinBoston.Startwitha
20-ounceGuinnesspubglass
—itscurveandbigsizemake
fittingthespoonineasier.Fill
ithalfwaywithBassPale
Ale.Bendanoldspoon90
degrees,convexsideup,and
holdthespoonabovethepale
aleyoujustpoured.Opena
tallwidgetcanofGuinness
andpouritslowlyandevenly
onthespoon,pullingupas
yougo.Ifyourtwobeersare
thesametemperature,they’ll
separateperfectlyintotwo
layersandyou’lltastebothin
everysip.
HowtoKeepa
BeerBottlefrom
Stickingtoa
Coaster
Sprinklesomesaltonthe
coaster,andthebottle
won’tpickupthemat
whenyoupickupthe
bottle.Marylandersuse
OldBay.
OWN A
SIGNATURE
DRINK
Abeerworksforalmostany
occasion,butwhenyou’re
celebratingsomethingspecial
oryourbuddy’sbuying,it’s
nicetohaveago-toclassic
cocktail,onewithfewerthan
fiveingredients.Caretotry
ours,theSazerac?
Thisclassicryecocktail
wasoriginallyacognacdrink
inventedinthe1830sbyNew
OrleansnativeAntoine
Peychaud,anapothecary
ownerbestknownforhis
bittersrecipe,whichtothis
dayisastapleinmost
bartenders’arsenals.
CreatingaSazeracis
simple...butnotnecessarily
easy.Itspreparationisaritual
formanydevotees,andthere
aremanywaystomakeit.
Somerecipescallforsimple
syrup;othersusesugarcubes.
Ryeisthemostcommonbase
spirit,butbourbonorcognac
isfineifthat’syour
preference.It’sokaytouse
Herbsaint(ananise-flavored
liqueur)insteadofabsinthe.
Butifyouwanttocallyour
cocktailaSazerac,therearea
fewrulesyoumustabideby:
1. Nevershakeyour
Sazerac.Alwaysstir.
2. Donotdropthelemon-
peeltwistintothedrink.
Hangitontherim.(Itis
thedrinker’schoiceto
dropitin.)
3. Donotserveitwithice.
Stiritwithiceandstrain
itintoachilledglass.
Thedrinkitselfisa
sophisticated,civilizedaffair.
Theabsintherinsegivesthe
cocktailagooddoseofits
herbalscentandmorethana
hintofitsstrongflavor.The
bittersbalancesoutthesugar,
makingitawell-rounded,
complex-tastingcocktail
that’sreminiscentofa
Manhattanbutisstillina
leagueofitsown.
OurSazeracrecipeis
courtesyofMarvinAllen,
headbarkeepattheCarousel
BarintheHotelMonteleone
inNewOrleans.Soyoucan
betthisisindeedthereal
deal.Adieu!
TheSazerac
WHATYOU’LLNEED
2 ounces rye (such as Sazerac, or
bourbon or cognac)
¼ ounce absinthe (such as Lucid)
4 or 5 drops Peychaud’s bitters
½ teaspoon simple syrup
HOW TO MAKE IT:
Fill an 8-ounce rocks glass with a
few ice cubes and add the absinthe,
twirling to coat the glass. Set aside.
In a Boston shaker add the
Sazerac, Peychaud’s bitters, and
simple syrup. Stir (don’t shake) until
well chilled. Empty the rocks from
the glass; it should have a thin
coating of the absinthe. Strain the
chilled contents of the shaker into
the reserved absinthe-coated glass.
Garnish with a lemon twist. Sit back
and enjoy a taste of New Orleans
history.
Rule #2
Make your best tip the first
one of the night, not your last
(you’ll get a clean glass for
sure).
BUILD A WINE
LIBRARY
Youdon’thavetoinstalla
cellartohaveallthebottles
youneedonhand.Patrick
Cappiello,winedirectorat
Pearl&AshinNewYork
City,suggeststheperfect
vinostash—foreveryday
sipping,weekends,and
specialoccasions.
Everyday
$14-$20
Go-ToPicks:Anythingfrom
France’sLoireValley.“These
winesarealwaysagreat
valueandextremelyfoodfriendly,”saysCappiello.
Whites:Sauvignonblanc
(light,crisp);cheninblanc
(rich,mineral)
Reds:Cabernetfranc(full,
leathery)
Weekends
$25-$40
Go-ToPicks:California
wines,especiallythosethat
arelowerinalcohol,which
aremeanttobesippedslowly
andenjoyed.
Whites:Anychardonnay
fromSantaBarbara(bright,
citrusy)
Reds:Syrahfromthenorth
coast(spicy,floral)
Celebrations
$50+
Go-ToPicks:Winesfrom
BurgundyandBordeaux,
“someofthemostmagical
andageworthywinesonthe
planet,”Cappiellosays.
Whites:Chardonnayfrom
Chablis(intense,full-bodied)
Reds:Bordeaux(dense,
potent);cabernetsauvignon
blends(ageworthy)
Age Well
Notallwinesimprovewith
theyears.Ifyou’relooking
forbottlestostore,select
high-acid,tannicwineswith
somesweetness.Abordeaux,
burgundy,orriojaisagood
choice,asisadessertwine
suchasport,madeira,orice
wine,saysMatthewKaner,
wineguruatBarCovellin
LosFeliz,California.
POUR A GLASS OF
CHAMPAGNE
Don’tcommitsparklicide.A
studyintheJournalof
AgriculturalandFood
Chemistryfoundthatthisis
thebestwaytopreserve
bubblesandtaste.
1. Chillthebottleto39°F.
(Justcheckyourfridge
thermometer.)That’sthe
temperatureatwhich
champagneretainsthe
mostbubbles.
2. Holdthefluteata45degreeangle,restingthe
flute’sbottomedgeona
tableforsupport,sothe
champagnecanslidein
gently.Don’tpourit
directlyintoanupright
glass;thisdestroystwice
asmanybubblesas
pouringatanangledoes.
3. Forasmoothpourwith
minimalbubbleloss,
touchthebottletothe
glass.
Rule #3
Leave some food on your
plate. The average china plate
has enlarged 23 percent in the
past century, which means
we’ve been misjudging portion
sizes since World War I.
AVOID THE BAIT
AND SWITCH
Buyseafoodfroma
fishmonger.DNAtestsshow
thatmanyfishsoldingrocery
storesandrestaurantsare
mislabeled.Toprevent
gettinghookedbythebait
andswitch,catchyour
seafoodatareputablelocal
fishmonger.Anddownload
theMontereyBayAquarium
SeafoodWatchapptolocate
restaurantsthatoffer
responsiblysourcedseafood.
Rule #4
Your cereal won’t go mushy if
you pour the milk just until the
cereal starts to rise.
HOW TO BREAK IN
A BASEBALL
GLOVE
AtlantaBravesoutfielder
JonnyGomessaystheleather
ofanewgloveistoostifffor
divingcatches.Withthis
method,heatandmoisture
softentheleatherfast.
1.
Fillamugwithwater
andmicrowaveiton
highfor30seconds.
Nowplaceyourglovein
themicrowavewiththe
waterandnukebothfor
another30seconds.
2.
Removethegloveand
sitinachairholdingan
“uncupped”baseballbat
(thatis,onewitha
roundedtop)between
yourknees.Repeatedly
slamtheglove’spocket
ontothetopofthebat.
Dothis20to30times,
untiladeeprecess
forms.
Bonus:RepairSun
Damage
Ifyourglove’sleatherhas
gonecrispy,rubinshaving
creamthatcontainslanolin,
amoisturizer.(Try
BarbasolBeardBuster
SkinConditioner.)Letit
dissolveandwipeoff
excess.
SPIN A
BASKETBALL ON
YOUR FINGER
Practicethesestepsforat
least6minutesaday.Within
aweekyou’llstopwobbling
andstartwowing,saysJoseph
Odhiambo,theworldrecord
holderforfingertipbasketball
spinning.
1. Do Some Prep
Deflatetheballslightly.This
createsmoresurfacearea
touchingyourfinger,making
theballeasiertocontrol.
2. Set Up Your Spin
Holdtheball(seamsvertical)
withyourdominanthandon
thefarsideandyourother
handonthesidefacingyou.
Keepyourelbowsbentand
tuckedclosetoyourbody.
Theballshouldbeabout4
inchesfromyourchin.
3. Let ’Er Rip
Snapbothwriststostartthe
ballspinning;slowerisbetter
atfirst.Theseamsshould
passbywithoutwobbling.
Quicklycatchtheballwith
thepadofyourindexfinger.
Counttoone.Thentryagain
untilyoucanlastforacount
oftwo,thenthree,andsoon.
Besuretostopwhenyou
reacheachcount;thishelps
buildconfidenceandcontrol.
4. Keep It Up
In8seconds,theballwill
slow.Bendyourfinger
slightlytowardyouandtryto
movetheballtoyour
fingernail,keepingyour
elbowtuckedtoyourbody.
Thisreducesfrictionbetween
ballandfinger,helping
maintainspin.Nowstart
lightlybattingtheballwith
allfourfingersofyourfree
hand.Whistle“Sweet
GeorgiaBrown.”
BLOCK A
HAYMAKER
ifyoucan’tbackawayfroma
fight,protectyourself.boxing
trainersamcolonnaand2004
olympiclight-heavyweight
goldmedalistandre“sonof
god”wardsaveyourbutt.
1. Set Your
Defense
Strikeaslimprofilesoyou’ll
behardertohit.Stand
sideways,kneesbentslightly
andlegs2feetapart.Have
yourleftlegforwardifyou’re
right-handed;reversethe
stanceifyou’reasouthpaw.
2. Put ’Em Up,
Keep ’Em Up
Withyourchindown,keep
yourarmsinfrontofyou,
knucklesfacingupwardand
fistslooselyclenched.Tuck
yourelbowstoyourribs.If
you’rearighty,yourright
handshouldbebesideyour
rightcheekandyourlefthand
5inchesinfrontofyourleft
cheekbone.Nowyou’reset
uptodeflectapunchand
counterwithyourown.
3. Find an Escape
Don’tbebaitedintolosing
yourcool.Keepyour
opponentatarm’slengthto
avoidajab,andbacktoward
anexit.
4. Intercept an
Assault
Noescape?Deflectapunch
byslappingitawaywithyour
openpalm.Resetyour
defenseanduseyour
forearmstofendoff
additionalpunches,using
yourupperbodytopushyour
opponent’sfistsaway.
5. Follow Through
Ifyouseeanopening,strike
withajabthatlandsbetween
hischinandear.Rotateyour
hipsforpowerandconnect
withtheknucklesofyour
indexandmiddlefingers.
You’llleavehimstunned.
KNOW THE PARTS
OF AN OVER-ANDUNDER SHOTGUN
Rule #5
Let the club do the work.
HOW TO KEEP
YOUR EDGE (ON
ANY KNIFE)
UseanaturalHardArkansas
SharpeningStone.Puta
liberalamountofhoningoil
onit.Turnthebladeofthe
knifetowardyouandbring
theknifeacrossthestoneina
circularmotion,aboutahalfmoon.Reverseittosharpen
theotherside.Theangleis
themostimportantpart,and
youlearntherightoneby
feel.Tooflatandyou’llwear
downthesideoftheblade.
Toomuchandyou’lldullthe
edge.Wipeoffthemetal
slurryandinspecttheburr—
that’stheedgewherethe
metalhasfoldedoverthe
apexorVoftheblade.Ifyou
haveburrfromtheknife’stip
toheel,it’stimetoturnthe
bladeoverandsharpenthe
otherside.Thenworkeach
sideevenlyuntilyouhavea
razor’sedge.
KNOW TWO
UNBEATABLE
TOUCHFOOTBALL PLAYS
Whentheboysfromacross
thetrackschallengeyour
buddiestotouchortackle,
scribblethesetwoplaysinthe
dirt.Theyworkforfive-or
six-manteams.
Linemanonthelefttakes
fourstepsandcutsright.
Guytotherightofthecenter
goes15yardsstraightand
curlsoverthemiddle.The
halfbackclosesttotheQB
runsaposttotheleftcorner
ofthefieldwhilethefar
halfbackgoeslong,straight
upthefield.Ifthecentercan
holdoffthedefenderlong
enough,someoneshouldbe
openforthepass.
Thisone’scalledLefty’s
Deceiver,andithasto
happenquickly.Assoonas
theQBtakesthesnap,he
pitchesittothehalfbackto
hisleft,whorunsright.
Meanwhile,theplayeronthe
farrightofthelinerunsa
down-and-out.Thehalfback
hitshimwithabullet,orif
he’scovered,runsitupfield.
Rule #6
*The team that makes the
fewest mistakes will win.
*Play for and make the breaks,
and when one comes your
way—SCORE.
The first two of Gen. Robert
Neyland’s “Seven Maxims of
Football,” which are recited by
the University of Tennessee
Vols football team before
every game.
PULL OFF THE
TWO-FINGER
WHISTLE
Perfectforsportsgames,
callingyourfriendacrossthe
street,orhailingyourhorse
Step 1
Openyourmouthanddraw
yourlowerliptautlyinward
tocoverthetopofyourlower
teeth.
Step 2
Flattenyourtongueandmove
itforwardsothatithovers
abovetheinsideedgeofyour
bottomlip.
Step 3
Touchthetipsofyourpinkie
fingerstogethertoforma90degreeangle.
Step 4
Nailsupward,insertthe
invertedVformedbyyour
fingertipsunderthetipof
yourtongue.Rollthetipof
yourtongueupwardandback
slightly;itshouldcurveup
towardthefrontoftheroofof
yourmouth,without
touching.
Step 5
Takeadeepbreathandblow
acrossthetipofyourtongue.
Theharderyoublow,the
louderyourwhistleandthe
morepeoplewilllookatyou.
Source:FredNewman,theauthorof
MouthSoundsandthesound-effects
manonAPrairieHomeCompanion
ICE-SKATE
BACKWARD
PlaybetterDduringpickup
hockey—orjustimpressyour
girlonawinterdate.
Step 1: Stand
Strong
Cometoastop.Withyour
feetshoulderwidthapart,
holdyourarmsoutfor
balance(A).Bendyour
knees,whichwillhelpyour
hipsprovidepush-offpower.
Step 2: Build
Momentum
Alternatingyourfeet,start
makingslow,smoothcuts
backwardintotheiceand
slightlyouttotheside,
turningyourskatesnomore
than15to20degreesfrom
thepathyouwanttotravel.
Squeezeyourthighstogether
tobringyourskatesinward.
Repeat.
Step 3: Stop—Or
Spin
Toslowandstop,put
pressureontheinsideedgeof
eitherbootandslowlydragit
againsttheiceperpendicular
tothedirectionyou’re
moving(B).Toturnaround,
bendyourkneesandrotate
yourshouldersagainstyour
hips.Thensnaparoundby
reversingthatmotionasyou
straightenyourknees(C).
Source:RyanBradley,2011men’sU.S.
figureskatingchampion
LAUNCH A SNOT
ROCKET
Gross?Yes.Butfarlessnasty
thanusingyoursleevewhile
running.
STEP 1: Test the
Launch
Ifyoutrythiswithoutenough
buildup,youriskanepicfail.
Lightlyinhalethrougheach
nostril.Can’tbreathe
comfortably?You’rereadyto
blow.
STEP 2: Test Aim
and Fire
Inoneswiftmotion,sealthe
oppositenostriltightlywith
thepadofyourfinger,rotate
yourhipsandshoulders
towardthedirectionoffire,
inhalethroughandthenclose
yourmouth,andfinally
exhaleinoneswiftblast
throughyournose.Now
breatheeasy.
Source:ZacharySoler,MD,ofthe
MedicalUniversityofSouthCarolina;
DonaldBuraglio,bloggerat
runningandrambling.com
Rule #7
Never underline passages in a
book someone has loaned
you, especially sex passages.
THROW A WICKED
CURVEBALL
Leavebattersbefuddledwith
thisclassicbreakingball,
withtipsfromAustinFaught,
formerDivisionIAllAmericanpitcherandcurrent
headcoachattheUniversity
ofPitching.
Command the
Mound
Asingolf,yourstanceshould
beperpendiculartothepath
yourballwilltravelinorder
foryoutoderivethemost
power.Standonthemound,
feetshoulderwidthapart,and
pointyourtoestowardthird
orfirstbase,dependingon
yourstance.Alignyourfront
hipwithhomeplate.
Grip It to Rip It
Restthemiddleandindex
fingersofyourthrowinghand
alongtherelativelystraight
partoftheseamsoftheball.
Putyourthumbontheball’s
otherside,pointeduptoward
thetipofyourmiddlefinger.
Tuckyourringfingerand
pinkiebesidetheballfor
supportandspin.
Adjust Your Eyes
Mostrookiesaimtoohigh.
Thiscancausetheballto
travelupwardfirst,which
failstotricktheguyatbat.
Instead,drivethepitch
towardthecatcher’smask.
Thatwaytheballflies
straightuntilthelastsecond,
whenitbreaksintothe
bottomportionofthestrike
zone.
Prime the Pitch
Windupasnormal,butatthe
releasepointyourthrowing
elbowneedstobeaboveyour
throwingshoulder,andthat
shoulderaboveyourglovesideshoulder.Flatshoulders
causesidespin,which
counteractsthetopspinof
yourcurveandcanresultina
sloppypitch.
Throw the Hook
Asyoubringtheballover
yourshoulder,maintainyour
gripuntiltheballispointed
towardthecatcher’smask.
Releaseitwithyourpitching
hand’spalmfacinginward,
snappingyourwristasyou
release.Bothfeetshouldland
withtoestowardhome—and
thepoorbatter.
PlayHarmonica
Pianoishard;harmonicais
easy.Allyouneedisa
starter’sharp—theHohner
Special20,keyofC—a
senseofrhythm,and
patientfriends.Rightisup
thescale,leftisdown.
Matchasimplesong,
breathingwiththebeat.
Onceyoumaster
“MidnightRambler,”it’s
okaytodonshadesand
stompyourfeet.
HOW TO RIDE A
HORSE
Hopintothesaddleandstay
therewithanequineassist
fromKentDesormeaux,a
professionaljockeyandthreetimeKentuckyDerby
champion.
Don’t Horse
Around
Greetyoursteedthewrong
wayanditcouldlashout.If
you’reallowedtopickyour
horse,gowithalargerone—
bighorsestendtobe
friendlier.Steptowarditfrom
thesidesoitcanseeyou,and
petitwhiletalkingquietlyto
formabond.Thenhopon
fromtheleft—that’stheside
itwastrainedtobemounted
from.
Speak Equine
Trainersteachhorsesto
respondtocertainstimuli.To
startthehorsewalking,
squeezeyouranklestogether
andmakekissingnoises.To
stop,pullbackonthereins
witha“whoa.”Toturn,pull
thereinsinthedirectionyou
wanttogo,holdingthem
aboutafootawayfromyour
body.Befirmtoearnrespect.
Avoid Saddle Ass
Topreventthethrobbingpain
radiatingfromyourgroin
afteraride,dowhatthepros
call“posting.”Insteadof
allowingthetrottingmotion
totossyouupanddown,
standinthestirrupsslightly,
bendingyourkneestoactas
shockabsorbersasthehorse
increasesitsspeedorsteps
overunevenground.
HOW TO RIDE A
BIKE
Youthinkyou’vegotthisone
down?Well,you’repedaling
wrongifyou’repumping
yourlegsupanddownthe
samewayyoudidwhenyou
wereracingaftertheGood
Humorman.Tocyclefaster
withlesseffort,learntopedal
incircles.Pushdownfrom
thetopofthestrokeuntilthe
crankarmsarehorizontal.
Nowpretendyou’rescraping
mudoffthebottomofyour
shoesfromthispointuntilthe
nexttimethecrankarmsare
horizontal,andcontinueto
exertforcebypullingacross
thebottomofthestroke.
Finishbypullinguponthe
pedaltothetopofthestroke
(usingpedalswithtoestraps
oracliplesspedalsystemto
anchoryourfeet).
Rule #8
Be outspoken when you know
a lot about a subject, but keep
your mouth shut when you
don’t.
HOW TO TIE THE
TRUCKER’S HITCH
Needtotieachristmastree,
canoe,orluggagetotheroof
racksofyourcar?Atrucker’s
hitchwillgiveyoua3-to-1
mechanicaladvantagewhen
cinchingtheloaddowntight.
Onceyou’vetiedoneendof
yourropetotheroofrackand
tossedtheropeoveryour
load,you’rereadytosecureit
withthehitch.
Step 1.
Tieaslipperyhalf-hitchor
slipknot.Dothisbyforminga
loopintheropeabout
halfwaybetweenyourload
andtherack,cleat,orhook
(a).Next,pusha“bight”or
bendintheropethroughthe
loopasshown(b).Graspthe
loopinonehandandthe
standingendsoftheropein
theotherandpulltheknot
tight.Theloopyoucreated
formsapulley.
Step 2.
Grabtherunningendofthe
ropeandpushitunderthe
roofrack,cleat,orotherfixed
pointandthenthroughthe
backofthe“pulley”orloop
intheslipperyhitchyoujust
tied(c).
Step 3.
Pulldownontheendofthe
ropetocinchyourloaddown
taut.Now,keepingtensionon
therunningendoftherope
withonehand,pinchtherope
whereitgoesthroughthe
“pulley”loopwithyourother
handsoitwon’tsliploose
andfinishwithoneortwo
halfhitches(d).Thisbeats
thehelloutofabungeecord.
KICK IN A DOOR
Savetheday(andyour
shoulder)withbreak-through
tipsfrompoliceofficerBob
Charpinsky,trainingdirector
fortheNewYorkTactical
OfficersAssociation.
A. Assess the
Obstacles
Kickingdownadoormaybe
youronlyoptionifsomeone
needshelpimmediately.If
thepersonisontheotherside
ofthedoor,alerthimorher
tostandbackbeforeyougo
intoaction-heromode.You
canprobablykickdowna
doorthatswingsawayfrom
you.Ifitswingstowardyou,
findanotherwaytoenter.
Deadboltsmakethejob
harder.
B. Set Your Stance
Standabitlessthanaleg’s
lengthfromthedoor,keeping
yourshoulderssquareand
yourfeetaboutshoulder
widthapart.Youwanttokick
ascloseasyoucantothe
knoborlock,whichisusually
theweakestpartofthedoor.
C. Go Van Damme
on It
Raisethekneeofyour
dominantlegaboveyour
waist.Inoneswiftmove,
kick,leadingwithyourheel.
Assoonasyourentirefoot
makescontact,transferyour
momentumtopushyourbody
weightthroughthedoor,knee
bent.Yourupperbodyshould
leanforwardslightlyfor
maximumforce.
D. Kick and Kick
Again
Thedoormayrequire
multipleblows.Ifitorthe
framebeginstocrack,good.
Thecasingmayalsomove,
causingthedoorknobtotwist.
Seethesesigns?Keep
kickingthesamespot.Ifafter
afewkicksthedoorwon’t
budge,call911ifyouhaven’t
already.
HOW TO ESCAPE
THE HOUND FROM
HELL
You’reoutforarun.You
hearbarkingandscratchy
pawstepsofanangrydog
behindyou.Horrormovies
fromthe1980sspringto
mindasyoupictureyourvital
organsbeingtornoutby
viciouscanineteeth.
The basics:
Animalsarenothumane.
Ifyoupanic,theypanic.
Iftheypanic,theybite.
The details:
Nearlytwomillionpeopleare
bittenbydogsannually.To
makesureyoudon’tjoin
them,thebeststrategyisto
overcomeyoururgetooutrun
theanimal(youwon’t).But
mostofthetimeadogislots
ofbarkandnobite.
Humor him.Standstill,
turn,andfacethedog.Playit
cool,don’tstareina
threateningway,anddon’t
makeanyquickmovements.
Talkinaquietvoice:“Hi,
there,Brutus,gohomenow,
nicedoggy.”Showhim
you’renotathreat.He’ll
probablycircleyou,maybe
urinateonyourkhakis,then
leaveyoualone.Afterthe
doghascalmeddown,back
awayslowly,keepingyour
eyeontheanimal.
Throw the dog a bone.
Gotasnackinyourpocket?
Shareit.Theoldsayingis
true:Dogsarelesslikelyto
bitethehandthatfeedsthem.
Mad dog options.Ifthe
dogdoesn’tcalmdown,
intimidatehim.Facehim
down.Makeyourselfasbig
asyoucanbe,scream,and
starehimrightintheeye.
Whileyou’reputtingonthis
show,takeoffyourjacket
andwrapitaroundyourfist.
Ifthedoglunges,feedhim
yourpaddedhand.Backaway
untilyoucangettosafety,
thensacrificethegarment.
HOW TO CATCH A
SNAKE
Ifyoucomeacrossasnake,
it’sbesttoleaveitbe.Butif
youfindoneinyourshedor
gardenandwanttorelocate
it,grabalongstickorbroom
handleandfollowalong.
Make its acquaintance.
First,trytoIDthesnaketo
makesureit’snotvenomous.
Youdon’twantyourfirst
snakesnatchtoendinatrip
totheER.
Shift its attention.Point
oneendofthestickinfront
ofthesnake’sheadtogiveit
somethingotherthanyouto
focuson.
Choose heads or tails.
Ifit’sasmallgartersnakeor
similarnonpoisonousserpent,
youcanquicklybutgently
grabitbehinditshead.It’ll
probablywrapitstailaround
yourarm.Cool.Forlarger
snakesandthoseyoucan’t
ID,grabthetailandliftup
butleavethefrontquarterto
halfofthesnake’sbodyon
thegroundfacingawayfrom
you.Extendyourarmand
keepyourlegsaway.
Carry a big stick.Now,
stillholdingthestick,slipthe
freeendofthestickunderthe
fronthalfofthesnakeand
lift.Thiswillmakeiteasyto
controlthebusinessendof
thesnake.It’salsolesslikely
tofreakabigsnakeoutthan
grabbingitsneck.
Assist with relocation.
Carrythesnakeoutofyour
yardandintoafieldorwoods
andreleaseitwithitshead
facingthedirectionyou’d
likeittoslither—awayfrom
you.Wanttohelpitmove
furtheraway?Slipitintoa
pillowcasethatyoucantie
shutforashortcarrideacross
thetracks.
Soap up.Washyour
handswithsoapandhot
wateraftertouchingthe
snake.Reptilescancarry
bacteriathatcanmakeyou
verysick.
HowtoDragan
UnconsciousPerson
OutofaFire
Ifyouneedtogetan
unconsciouspersonoutof
adangerousplaceandhe’s
tooheavytolift,tiehis
wriststogetherwithyour
necktieorapieceofsheet
andloopyourheadthrough
hisarms.Useyourbody
weighttobackhimoutof
harm’sway.Steptwo:
Rehearseyour“I’m-nohero”lineforthelocal
papers.
HOW TO
INSTANTLY EARN
THE RESPECT OF
ANYONE
Shake hands.Makeyour
gripfirmandconfident,and
pumpnomorethanthree
times.Looktheotherperson
intheeyeandsmile.
Stand 3 to 4 feet away.
Thisisthenormalinteracting
distance.Closerandyou’ll
maketheotherperson
uncomfortable.Fartheraway
andyou’llappeardetached
anddisinterested.
Square off.Facetheother
persondirectlyinsteadof
standingslightingtotheside.
Thissuggestsyou’regiving
himorheryourfullattention.
Gesture.Occasionally
extendyourarmswiththe
palmsfacingupward.This
saysyou’rebeinghonestand
havenothingthreateningto
hide.
Reach out and touch.If
it’sappropriate,punctuateor
endtheconversationwitha
patontheshoulderoratouch
onthearm.Thisconnotes
friendlinessandwarmth,
especiallyifyou’reofa
higherstatus.Becareful
pattingwomen,though.In
fact,it’sbetternottotouch
thematall.
MAKE A DINNER
TOAST
Youwillbecalledupontodo
thisonmanyoccasionsin
life,sohaveasystematthe
readybecause“I’msodrunk”
isabadstart.Usethisplan
fromGarySchmidt,apast
presidentofToastmasters
International.
Start
Don’tstandup;that’sfor
formaloccasions.Justwait
foranaturalbreakin
conversationbeforethemeal
isserved.Thenliftyourglass
andsay,“I’dliketomakea
toast.”
Talk
Thinkofasinglewordthat
summarizesthetopicofyour
speech,somethinglike
“congratulate,”“remember,”
or“honor.”Keepitinmind
asyoutalktostayfocused;
youneverwanttobetheguy
whogivesalong,meandering
speech.
Stop
Atoastcanbeacoupleof
sentencesorlastaminuteor
two,tops.Afterthat,you’re
boringyouraudience.
HowtoSurvivea
DateinaRoom
FullofWomen
Whetherit’safirstdate,
thethirtieth,orevenif
you’vebeenmarriedfor10
years,itcomesdownto
thissimplerule:Stay
focusedonherandnever
letyourattentionbecome
distractedbytheshapeof
anotherwoman.Tip:When
you’reatarestaurant,
alwayssitwithyourback
totheroom.Letherface
outtowardthecrowd.That
way,you’llavoideyeing
otherwomen—thatold
moth-attracted-to-a-flame
reflexthathowever
innocentcanannoyherto
noend.Eliminatethethreat
ofthisruiningyourdate.
Doingsowillmakeit
easiertogiveheryour
completeandrapt
attention.Oryoucouldjust
haveyoureyeballs
removed.
CALM AN ANGRY
BUDDY
HotheadedcomedianLewis
Blacktellsyouhowtokeep
yourfriend’stemperincheck.
1. Take It Outside
Dealingwithsomeonewho’s
abouttoblowhistopislike
walkingadogwithafull
bladder:Youhavetokeep
himmovingtoemptyallof
thecontents.Ifyourpalis
fumingoverafumblebyhis
team,coaxhimoutofthe
houseandintotheyard,or
fromthebartothesidewalk.
2. Make Him Yell
Tellinghimtocalmdown
willonlyfirehimupmore.
Angrymendon’twanttobe
toldthey’reangry.So
challengehimtoyelllouder.
Afewheartyprimalscreams
canhelpstophissteaming.
Bettertohaveafewshort
burstsofragethanawhole
dayoffrustratedstewing.
3. Buy Him a Drink
Tohelplendclosuretothe
situation,invitehimback
insidewitharound.Butmake
itascotch,notabeer.The
betterthebooze,theslower
he’llsipandthecalmerhe’ll
become.Beforeyouknowit,
he’llhaveforgottenwhyhe
flewoffthehandleinthefirst
place.
Rule #9
Anything that comes in a shell
is a bad thing to order on a
first date: crabs, lobsters,
snails, tacos, peanuts,
gunpowder.
HOW TO CRADLE
A BABY
Witheightkidsofhisown,
BillSears,MD,coauthorof
TheBabyBook,swearsbythe
footballholdtokeepa
bambinoquietinyourarms.
A. Run the Handoff
Standwithyourarmscradled
infrontofyourtorsosothe
personwiththebabywon’t
havetoextendhisorher
arms.Slipyourdominant
handundertheinfant’shead
(toprovidenecksupport)and
theotherunderhiships,
liftingtowardyou.
B. Ease Up
Babiesoftencrywhilebeing
heldbecausethey’re
uncomfortable.Themost
commonproblem:They’re
beingheldtootightly.Ifthe
babyseemsantsy,loosen
yourgripslightly—you
shouldfeelthechild’stensed
abdomenrelax.
C. Soothe Sobs
Sitandgentlyturnthebaby
sothathisstomachliesalong
yourdominanthand’s
forearmandhisheadrestsin
thecrookofyourarm.
Supportthelegontopwith
yourhand.Yourforearm’s
pressurehelpshimrelaxhis
body.
TEACH YOUR KID
HOW TO PLAY A
BLADE OF GRASS
Firstmasterityourself.Picka
bladeofgrassthat’s3or4
incheslongandabouta
quarterinchwide.Putyour
palmstogetherandyour
thumbsside-by-side,holding
thegrassbladebetweenthem
inthemiddleofthegap
betweenyourthumbs.The
bladeshouldbetaut.Now
purseyourlips,pressthem
overthegap,andblow
gently.Thegrasswillvibrate,
creatingaloud,squeaky
sound.Experimentwith
changingthepitchbymoving
thetipsofyourthumbs
forwardandback.
Rule #10
If you want to be a good
father, be a good husband
first.
HOW TO OCCUPY
A TODDLER FOR 2
HOURS
It’syoursister’skidoryour
buddy’s.Youoffered.So
here’showtobeababysitting
hero.
1. Break the Ice
Askhimabouthisfavorite
booksorcharacters.Have
himexplainthecharacter.
You’llbeasentertainedashe
will.Thefocusshouldalways
beonthechild,soresistthe
urgetomatchhisinterests
withyourownsuperhero
obsessions.
2. Head Outside
Besillyandimaginative.Go
searchingforleprechaunsor
fairies.(Rememberthat
toddlershavepoorbalance,
sowatchthetykecarefully.)
Ortakeabowlofwateranda
paintbrushand“paint”onthe
sidewalk.Thekidwilllove
seeingtheartevaporateinthe
sunbeforedoingitagain.
Thisisgoodforatleast15or
20minutes.
3. Act Out a Bit
Afteryou’vewornthekid
out,grabapicturebook;
readingisagreatbrainbuildingexperience.But
spicethingsupbyusing
props.Astoryaboutaknight
comestolifewhenyourecreatethescenebymakinga
castleoutofcouchcushions,
chairs,andsheets.
HOW TO COACH A
KID
LosetheBobbyKnightact
anddevelopastylethatwill
keepkidsengagedandhaving
fun.
Level the Playing
Field
Sityourtykedownandaskif
youcan“jointheteam.”
You’llprobablygetan
emphatic“yes.”Thepointis
toletthelittleguy(orgal)
knowyou’rebothonthe
sameside.
Be Consistent
Whencritiquingplay,always
leadbycitingsomething
commendable(“Greatjob
dribblingupfield!”)before
givingfeedback(“Nowtryto
keepyourheadup”).Then
finishwithanotherpositive,
encouragingcomment
(“You’llgetit,keepworking
hard!”).
Look Beyond Your
Kid
Ifyou’renotacoach,hang
outwithotherparents.Their
comments(like“Thatwasa
sweetpass”or“They’re
crowdingtheball”)canhelp
youlosethetunnelvisionfor
yourchildandseethewhole
team.
Stoke Inspiration
Ifyouseeyourlad’s
motivationdragging,whipup
agameathometofocuson
skillswhilestillhavingfun.
Forkickingstrength,tackup
atargetonabrickwalland
seeifhecannailitwiththe
ball.Forballcontrol,offer
himicecreamforstringing
togetherfivejuggles.
Discipline Privately
Nokidrespondswellto
publicscolding,soifyoursis
actingoutornotbeingateam
player,pullhimaside;then
youcanswitchtoparent
mode.Explainwhyit’s
importantthatheacceptthe
consequencesforhisactions
justlikeanyotherteammate
does.Don’tmakeascene.If
he’snotreceptive,sayyou’ll
finishthetalkathomewith
mom—buttrytoavoid
mixingat-homedisciplinary
tacticswithon-the-fieldones.
Sources:JimmyNielsen,former
goalkeeperforSportingKansasCity;
LarryLauer,PhD,oftheInstitutefor
theStudyofYouthSportsatMichigan
StateUniversity
MAKE SIMULATED
SNOT
Homegrownslimewill
occupy6-to17-year-oldsfor
hours.
YOU’LL NEED:
½ cup white craft glue
¼ cup water
6–10 drops of food coloring (we
recommend snot green, but blue,
red, or orange are cool, too)
½ cup liquid clothing starch
Large bowl
Plastic mixing spoon
DO THIS:
1. Pour the glue and water into the
bowl and mix well.
2. Add your food coloring.
3. Mix in the liquid starch. Stir well
until you get a blobby, slimy bowl
of slime.
4. Knead it with your fingers.
5. Store it in a zipper-lock plastic
bag so it won’t dry out.
BLOW $100 IN A
CASINO
Whyprolongyourmiseryby
losingonpenny-antegames?
Gooutlikeahighroller:Hit
theroulettetableandputitall
ononenumber,saysRobert
Hannum,PhD,aprofessorof
riskanalysisandgamingat
UniversityofDenver.“You’ll
winthestraight-upbetona
singlenumberinroulette
onceevery38times,”he
says.Sotheoddsoffera35to-1payoutof$3,500.To
stretchoutyourplay,betin
$20hitsfora12.5percent
chanceofpocketingatleast
$700.
Rule #11
Max out your 401(k)
contribution. You won’t see
the cash until retirement, but it
gives you two things you need
to become wealthy:
compounded gains and
annual tax deductions.
FEEL
COMFORTABLE
AT ANY PARTY
Becometheguywith
conversationalfirepower—
theoneeveryonewantsto
hangoutwith.Thekey,says
TonyReali,hostand
conversationstarterof
ESPN’sAroundtheHorn,
andLeilLowndes,
communicationsconsultant
andauthorofHowtoCreate
ChemistrywithAnyone,isto
movefromthegeneraltothe
unexpected.
QUESTION 1
How do you know
the host?
Yes,itmaybearun-of-themillquestion,butyouneedto
establishabasicconnection
withthepersonifyou’reever
goingtodivulgeafew
personaldetailsas
icebreakers.What’skeyhere
isyourdemeanor.Realilikes
toopenwithasilly“Iknow
wejustmet,butcanIgive
youahug?”Youcanachieve
similarresults(without
awkwardness)bydeploying
someself-deprecatinghumor
(“ThehostandImetas
beautypageantcontestants”).
QUESTION 2
What’s the best
live sports
event/burger/movie
you’ve ever
seen/eaten/watched?
Good,open-endedquestions
providepeoplewith
opportunitiestoshare
anecdotesabouttheir
experiences.Beagood
listener,butalsobeprepared
forwhenyournew
acquaintanceturnsthe
questionbackonyou.(That’s
thelogicaloutcomeofthis
typeofinquiry.)Justdon’t
acttooeagertojumpinwith
yourownamusingstory.No
onelikestheguywhoisjust
waitingforhisturntotalk.
QUESTION 3
What’s your
favorite curse?
ThisisagreatRorschachtest
tospringafteryou’ve
establishedagoodrapport—
youcanactuallylearnalot
aboutsomeonefromtheir
answer.(Istheirpreferred
wordbasedonitssound,or
itsmeaning?)Plus,people
lovetalkingaboutcursing.
QUESTION 4
Was there one
event or
circumstance in
your life that
changed you as a
person?
Ifyourgoalistobe
memorable,thiswilldothe
trick.Askinghowsomeone
haschangedcanleadhimor
hertotalkaboutboth
hardshipandsuccess.Italso
focusesthechatontheperson
asanindividual.Useyour
judgmentandask
accordingly.
REMEMBER A
PHONE NUMBER
STEP 1 Repeat
Askthepersontoslowly
repeatthenumber.Thisgives
yourbraintimetosplitthe
digitsintomanageable
chunksandbeginmaking
connectionswithnumbers
thatarealreadystoredinyour
memory.
STEP 2 Divide
Don’tthinkaboutthe
individualdigits,because
yourmindneedsmore
substancetohelpyou
rememberlong-term.Group
themintotwo-,three-,or
four-digitchunks;doingthis
reducesthenumberofitems
youhavetoremember.
STEP 3 Associate
Linkthedigitstonumbers
youalreadyknow.Trysports
jerseys(for2399,think
JordanchillingwithGretzky)
oryearsinhistory(for7644,
theAmericanRevolutionand
D-Day).Fora314areacode,
thinkpi.Or256isyouatage
25holdinga6-iron.
STEP 4 Speak
Repeatthenumberbackto
theperson.
STEP 5 Visualize
“Dial”thenumberonan
imaginarykeypad.Youmay
beabletorememberthe
motorsequencebetterthan
youremembertheindividual
numbers.
Source:AlanCastel,PhD,anassistant
professorofpsychologyatUCLA’s
memoryandcognitiveaginglab
Rule #12
Never put on bagpipe music at
a party.
DELIVER A
MOVING EULOGY
StephenD.Boyd,PhD,isa
ministerandprofessional
speakerwhohasgiven175
eulogies.Herearehistipsfor
speakingeloquentlyabout
someonewho’spassedon.
1. When You Sit
Down to Write It
Don’tgivethebio—that’s
coveredintheobit.First,
establishyourconnectionto
theperson,andthenmoveon
toananecdotethatreveals
somethingabouttheperson’s
character.Talkaboutatime
whenthepersonwentoutof
hiswaytohelpyouwhenyou
didn’texpectit,forexample.
Don’tbeafraidtobe
lighthearted.Atfunerals,
peoplearedesperatefora
chancetolaugh.Butkeepthis
inmind:Youwantthemto
rememberyourtalkas
moving,notfunny.Keepitto
about3minutes.
2. The Day Before
the Funeral
Printyoureulogyinalarge
font,double-spacingthelines.
Useonlythetoptwo-thirdsof
thepage,tokeepfromhaving
toglancetoofardownand
preventingtheaudiencefrom
seeingyourface.Practice
readingyourcommentsat
leastfivetimesaloud,
preferablyinfrontofafew
friendstoseehowpeople
react.
3. Before the
Ceremony
Findasmanyfamiliarfaces
amongtheattendeesasyou
cansoyoufeelanchored.
Speakwiththememorial’s
leaderabouthavingsomeone
elsereadyoureulogyifyou
can’tfinishit.
4. During the
Eulogy
Keepabottleofwaterbythe
lecternincaseyouloseyour
composure.Takeasip,pause,
andfocusonyourbreathing.
Makeeyecontact;ifthat’s
toohard,fakeitbylookingat
thebackwalloratstrangers,
whoarelesslikelytotrigger
emotions.
WRITE A
MEMORABLE
THANK-YOU NOTE
Class Up Your
Paper
Correspondencecardsare
morebusinesslikethan
averagefoldedcards,and
theyofferjustasmuchblank
space.Forspecialoccasions,
splurgeonpersonalized
Crane&Co.NavyBlue
BorderedEcruwhite
CorrespondenceCards
(crane.com).
Write As You
Speak
Avoidlanguagethatsounds
formulaic.Insteadof“Dear
John,”justsay“HelloJohn.”
Insteadof“Yourstruly,”just
write“Regards”or“Allmy
best”followedbyyourname.
Be Legible
Typeoutadrafttocompose
yourthoughts.Whenyou’re
ready,usearulerasaguide
justbeneathyourpentokeep
linesstraight.Ifyourprintis
sloppy,switchtocursive.The
changeshouldslowyou
down,improvingyour
penmanship.
Keep It Neat
Smudgeswillmakeyournote
looklikeanafterthought.
Avoidfountainpenson
glossypaperbecausethey
maystreak.Forcardstock,
useafine-point.Welikethe
SheafferAgio(sheaffer.com).
FLIRT LIKE A
PLAYER
Therearemanypathstoa
woman’sdigits,butonlyone
shortcut:humor.Now,you
maybethinking,“ButItryto
befunny,anditnever
works!”Thereinliesyour
problem:Humoristoughto
pulloff,especiallyifyoutry
forlaughs.Theresa
DiDonato,PhD,anassistant
professorofpsychologyat
LoyolaUniversityMaryland,
suggestsbuildingfrom
somethingyouhavein
common,suchasahottopic
inthenewsoraneventyou
bothjustwitnessed.Butif
youjustsawthewaitressspill
atrayofdrinks,don’tturnit
intoaline.Thatsendsthe
wrongmessageaboutyour
personality.DiDonato’s
researchshowsthatthebest
flirtationstrategyisaffiliative
humor—warm,low-key,
playfuljoking—ratherthan
mean-spiritedquips.Infact,
inthattray-spillingscenario
thebestthingyoucandois
helpthewaitresscleanup.
Yourconsiderationwillcatch
awoman’seyeandmakeher
moreopentoyourattemptsto
converse.Oh,andbetonselfdeprecatinghumor.Women
likeaguywhocanlaughat
himself.
Rule #13
Avoid long jokes that keep
going and going like the
Energizer Bunny. They drive
women away. A joke should
have at the most two parts, the
second part sort of funny.
GIVE A PROPER
HOLIDAY TIP
youcan’tjustask“how
much?”sowepolled30
serviceworkerstofindout
howmuchthey’retypically
gifted.
Your Personal
Trainer
Thetip:Anamountequalto
thecostofonesession
Howtodeliverit:Tomake
thetransactioneasy,justtell
yourtrainertotakeasession
offyourcurrentprepaid
package.
Your Barber
Thetip:Thecostofahaircut
Howtodeliverit:Makesure
tohandthetiptoyourbarber
beforeyou’reinhischair.He
maymissthecashonthe
counterasheprepsforhis
nextclient.
Your Dog Walker
Thetip:Aweek’spay
Howtodeliverit:Includea
notesothere’snoconfusion
aboutwheretheextramoney
camefrom.Andyes,lotsof
peoplehaveFido“sign”the
card.
Your Mail Carrier
Thetip:Ajob-well-donenote
Howtodeliverit:Mail
carriersaren’tallowedto
acceptcashtips.Aletterof
praisetotheirsupervisor
oftenmeansmore.
Your Bartender
Thetip:Anextra$20
Howtodeliverit:Additto
yourregulartipandsay,
“Happyholidays.”Ifyour
bartenderishostingyour
annualChristmasparty,
throwinanother$100.
Your Newspaper
Carrier
Thetip:$20
Howtodeliverit:Ifyour
carrierdoesn’tsendacard
first,leaveamessagewiththe
paper’scustomerserviceline
sayingthatyou’releavinga
cardnearwherethecarrier
dropsthepaper.
HOW TO BE A
BETTER BEST
MAN
Asthegroom’sgo-toguy,
youshoulddomorethanjust
partyhardanddeliverakiller
toast.AnjaWinikkaof
TheKnot.comoffersthese
tipsforhandlingyour
responsibilitieswithstyle:
Make a grand gesture.
Ifyourweddingpartyhasthe
bank,buyonebiggift.Look
foranitemthecouplemight
needthattheydidn’tregister
for,likeaTVorahigh-end
grill.
Direct traffic.For24
hours,you’retheevent
mastermind.Memorizethe
timingandlocationofevents.
Pointgueststothereception,
parking,ormen’sroom.
Volunteer as trip
advisor.Takeonwhatever
thegroomcan’tleaveto
kayak.com.Helpnegotiatea
grouphotelrateforout-oftownguestsandcoordinate
airportpickups.Yourjobisto
makethiswholegettingmarriedbusinesseasierfor
yourbuddy.
Dole out the dough.For
onedayinhislifeyourpal
shouldn’tworryabout
money.That’swhereyou
comein.“Helpthegroom
withanyday-ofpayments,”
Winikkasays.“Thisincludes
tipsforvendorslikethe
caterer,theflorist,the
musicians,eventhealtar
servers.”
HOW TO SAVE
FOR
ANYTHING
You’vegotfinancialgoals,
bigandsmall.Andnowyou
haveafoolproofplan.
MASTER THE
POWER
HANDSHAKE
It’snotaboutacrushinggrip
orturningtheotherguy’s
handunderyours.Justbe
suretoreachoutfirstsoyour
armhasmoreextensionthan
his.Whenhetakesyourhand,
hiselbowwillbebent
inward,towardhisbody;
that’sasignthathe’s
claiminglesspersonalspace.
Matchhisgripstrengthand
givethreeorfourpumps.
That’showyousubtly
dominatetheinteraction.
BuildBrand
“YOU”
Wanttoboostyourearning
potential?
Developyourpersonal
brand.Itdescribesthe
qualitiesthatdifferentiate
youandwhatyoucan
deliver.Finditatthe
intersectionofyour
passions,values,andjob
strengths,sayspersonal
brandingguruWilliam
Arruda,founderofReach.
Thenwriteacreedthathits
thosethreeareasforyour
résuméandLinkedIn
profile.
HOW TO LAND ON
YOUR FEET
Sometimeslifejustdoesn’t
goyourway.Forexample:
Somedayyoumayneedto
jumpoutofawindowto
escapesureincinerationor
theunexpectedreturnofher
boyfriend/husband.Thereare
wrongwaysandrightwaysto
landbackonyourfeet:
•
Ifyoumustjumpfroma
two-storywindowor
(Godforbid)higher,hang
fromthewindowledgeto
startyourfallascloseto
thegroundaspossible.
Lookforanawning,
bushes,avatoffemale
mudwrestlers,anything
tocushionthefall.
•
Trytolandontheballs
ofyourfeet.Asyour
bodycontactstheground,
allowyourkneestobend
slightlyanduseyour
handstobreakthefallas
muchaspossible.
Immediatelystartforward
intoashoulderroll.
•
Fallsoffofbarstoolsand
sidewalkcurbsarefar
morelikelytooccurthan
plannedwindowjumpsso
bereadyforthesesixinchfallsthatcanland
youintheER:Landon
theballsofbothfeetat
thesametime.Bendat
yourkneesandwaistto
absorbsomeoftheshock
andextendeacharmin
frontofyouforbalance.
Q:HowdoIknow
ifanoff-the-rack
blazerfits?
A:Itshouldbesnuginthe
shoulders.Everythingcan
betailored,butifthe
shouldersareoff,you’ll
spendtwiceasmuchon
alterations.
SAY HOWDY
(ALMOST)
ANYWHERE
Arabia:Alsalaam
China:Nihao
CzechRepublic:Nazdar
Finland:Paivaa(PIE-vah)
France:Bonjour
Germany:Gutentag
Greece:Yassas(YAH-sas)
Hungary:Szia(SEE-ya)
Ireland:DiaDhuit
Israel:Shalom(shah-lohm)
Italy:Buongiorno
Japan:Konichiwa
Korea:Annyonghashimnikka
Norway:Goddag
Poland:Czesc
Portugal:Bomdia
Russia:Zdravstvuite
Spain:Hola
Turkey:Merhaba
Philadelphia:Yo(y-OH)
Rule #14
Women love to dance.
Rule #15
Learn to dance.
MAKE A PIT STOP
Threewaystofight
embarrassingunderarmsweat
stains:
1. Tryanover-the-counter
antiperspirantlikeGillette
ClinicalStrength.Apply
beforebedanditwill
settleintounderarmpores
overnight.
2. InsertGarmentGuard
DisposableUnderarm
Shieldsintoyourarmpits
toblocksweatfrom
reachingclothing.
3. Askyourdoctorfora
prescriptionantiperspirant
likeDrysol,which
containsahighamountof
aluminumchloride,which
plugssweatglands,
therebypreventingsweat
fromreachingtheskin.
Applybeforebed.
ThickenThinning
Hair
Youcanmakeyour
thinninghairlookthick
andstrongthroughoutby
usingalightgelandblowdryingitwhilefluffingit
witharoundbrush.
Rule #16
Do one high-intensity workout
every other week. Researchers
in Norway studying soccer
players found that one HIIT
workout every other week is
just as beneficial as doing
them weekly.
HOW TO FIX A
PAIN IN THE ASS
Whenyourbuttmuscles
tighten,theypinchyour
sciaticnerve,causingapain
inyourass,technicallycalled
piriformissyndrome.Ifyou
runorcycle,youare
especiallypronebecausethe
focusonforwardmotion
tendstoweakenhipmuscles.
Fixitbyfoamrollingyour
musclesandrelaxingthem
withyoga’spigeonpose,as
shown.
7 SIMPLE WAYS
TO LOSE WEIGHT
1. Drinkdilutedfruitjuice.
Naturalfruitjuices
containlotsofcalories.
Cuttheminhalfby
dilutingthemwithwater.
2. Stopeatingwhenyou’ve
eaten80percentofyour
normalamount,andwait
20minutes.You’llfeel
satisfiedbecauseittakes
20minutesforyour
stomachtosignalyour
brainthatyou’refull.
3. Eatbreakfast.Asurveyof
morethan2,000people
wholostsignificant
weightandkeptitofffor
atleast5yearsfoundthat
78percentatebreakfast7
daysaweek.
4. Cut100caloriesaday.
That’sroughlythe
amountofcaloriesina
handfulofchipsoralight
beer.Eliminatingoneof
theseadaywouldbethe
equivalentof700calories
aweekandcouldleadto
nearly10poundsof
weightlossinayear.
5. Eatyourlargestmealat
breakfastorlunch.And
lightenupatdinner.This
givesyouhoursof
activitytoburnoffthe
calories.Ifyouconsumea
lotofcalorieslateinthe
day,you’remorelikelyto
storethesecaloriesasfat.
6. Walkfor30minutes
daily.That’sallyouneed
todotomovefromcouch
spudtomoderatelyfit,a
changethatwillprovide
significanthealth
benefits.
7. Strengthtraintobuild
muscle.Afterage30your
musclemassstartsto
shrinkbyabout1percent
peryear.That’swhy
olderfolksgetfat.Muscle
ismoremetabolically
activetissuethanfat.By
buildingmoreyou
automaticallyburnmore
calories24/7.
HowtoChoosea
Doctor
Findadoctorwhois
roughlyyouragegiveor
takefiveyears.Ifyour
physicianisfacingthe
samehealthissuesyou’re
facing,it’llhelphim
anticipatewhattestsand
treatmentyouneed.
Rule #17
Never eat out of the original
container. How many times
have you dipped your hand
into the chip bag only to find
yourself staring at the bottom
15 minutes later?
HOW TO SURVIVE
A HEART ATTACK
Theoutcomeofamyocardial
infarctiondependsonhow
muchheartmuscledies,so
speedoftreatmentisoften
critical.Knowingheartattack
warningsignsiskey:chest
tightnessorheaviness;
extremefatigue;painin
shoulders,neck,jaworarms;
shortnessofbreath;sweating;
lightheadedness;ornausea.If
somethingfeelsamiss,don’t
delay,dothis:
•
Call 911 or another
emergency medical
number.Don’tdrive
yourselftotheemergency
room.WaitforEMTs,
whocanbegintreatment
enrouteandalerttheER
docsofyourvitals.
•
Take an aspirin.Chew
ittospeedthebloodthinningmedicinemore
quicklyintoyour
bloodstream.
•
Be assertive in the
emergency room.
Yourlifecouldbeat
stake.
Rule #18
Get more protein without
eating meat. How? Learn to
use quinoa. Chilling the nutty
grain after cooking restores
firmness. Then drizzle on
some olive oil and lemon
juice. Mix in some vegetables
along with olives or feta
cheese for saltiness. Yum, and
good for you, too.
YOUR BALLS: AN
OWNER’S
MANUAL
4factsyoushouldknow
aboutyourboys
Keep ’Em Cool
Alaptoponyourlapraises
yourballs’temp,whichmay
harmspermquality.
Eyeball Their Size
Biggerballsmayindicate
increasedhearttroublerisk,
accordingtoareportin
JournalofSexualMedicine.
Inthestudy,oldermenwitha
testicularvolumeof20
millilitersormoreriskheart
problemsduetobloodvessel
damage,whichmayincrease
testessize.
Hold the Phone
Numerousstudieshavelinked
cellphoneexposureto
decreasedspermcountand
quality.Sokeepyourphone
inyourbackpocketinsteadof
inthefrontone,saysMen’s
HealthurologyadvisorLarry
Lipshultz,MD.
Hit the Sack
Lesssleepmeansmorestress
hormonesfloodingyour
body,whichcanreduce
spermproduction.
Rule #19
Looking down at one’s penis
makes it look smaller than it
really is.
PARALLEL PARK
—ANYWHERE
RussSwift,ownerofRuss
SwiftPrecisionDriving,seta
recordforparallelparkingin
thetightestspace.Usehistips
toscoreapersonalbestfor
speedandaccuracy.
1. First,assessthespot.Pull
upnearlyalongsidethe
spacesoyourcar’srear
bumperlinesupwiththe
backcar’sfrontbumper.
Ifyousee4feettospare
aheadofyou,thenyou
canmakeit.Pullbeside
thefrontcar,leaving
about18inchesbetween
thedoors;stopwhenyour
backbumperisabout2
feetaheadoftheother
car’sbackend.
2. Foraspotontheright
sideofthestreet,look
overyourrightshoulder;
backupstraightuntilyour
rearbumperclearsthe
othercar’srearbumper.
Crankthewheeltothe
curb.Leftside?Look
overyourleftshoulder.
3. Afteryourfrontbumper
clearsthecarinfront,
straightenoutyour
vehicle,ideally3inches
fromthecurb.Nowhop
outofthecarandexecute
acelebratoryfistpump.
FELL A TREE
Ifyoudothisright,thetree
won’tfallonyourhouseor
bindyourchainsaw.First,
figureoutwhichwayyou
wantthetreetofall,ideally
towardanopenspace,and
notonyourneighbor’s
abovegroundpool.
Gotit?Nowmakea
horizontalcutaboutknee
hightowaisthighontheside
ofthetrunkwhereyouwant
thetreetofall(1).Stopabout
two-thirdsofthewaythrough
thetrunkandpulloutyour
saw.Next,cuta60-degree
angledowntothefirstcut
untilthewedgefallsout(2).
Thatnotchshouldfacethe
directionofthefall.
Importantsafetynote:Make
sureyouhaveaplacetorun
awayfromthefallinbackof
thetree.Itshouldbeclearof
othertreesandbrush.Now,
getreadyforthefinalcut.
Startthebackcuthorizontally
andslightlyabovetheV
notch(3).Assoonasthetree
startstolean,pulloutthesaw
andfollowyourescaperoute,
yellingTIMBER!,and
hopefullynot,Ohshit!
Rule #20
Let the saw do the work.
50 TOOLS FOR
EVERY TASK
Withthefollowingselection
ofbasichandtoolsinyour
garage(andtherightknowhow)youcanbuildorfix
almostanythatneeds
buildingorfixingaround
yourhouse.Hint:Youcan
buildthisinventoryofgreat
toolsatafractionoftheretail
costbyhuntingSaturday
morningyardsales.
AdjustableWrench
AllenWrench
AngleSash“Cut-In”
Paintbrush
AxorSplittingMaul
BowRake
BowSaw
CenterPunch
CircularSaw
CombinationSquare
CopingSaw
CordlessDrill
Drillbits
DuctTape
DustMask
Earmuffswith23to33noise
reductionrating(NNR)
Electrician’sPliers
ExtensionCord(10-gauge
contractor’squality)
ExtensionLadder
Flashlight
GooseneckCrowbar
Hacksaw
Hammer
HandSaw
LaserLevel
Level
LockingPliers
MetalFile
MetalSnips
NailSet
NeedleNosePliers
PipeSnake
PipeWrench
PocketknifeorMulti-Tool
PryBar
PuttyKnife
OrbitalSander
ReciprocatingSaw
Rope(50feet)
RoundNoseShovel
SafetyGlasses
ScrewdriverSet
Sledgehammer
SocketWrenchSet
StudFinder
SquareNoseShovel
TapeRule
Tongue-and-GroovePliers
WheelBarrow
WoodChisel
UtilityKnife
DegreasewithOil
Soapandwatersuckat
cleaningmotoroilandoilbasedpaintsfromyour
hands,soturntoyour
kitchencabinet.Vegetable
oilhelpsremovethem
betterthansoapandwater.
Justdabatablespoonor
twoonapapertowel,rub
tobreakupthegrime,and
finishwithsoapandwater.
CHANGE YOUR
SPARK PLUGS
Saveupto$150bydoingthis
yourself,saysCenekPickaof
theAdvancedTechnology
Institute.Checkyourowner’s
manualtoseewhichplugs
youneedandwhentochange
them.Replacethemoneata
timetoensureproperfiring
order.
Blast Away the
Crud
Withyourenginecompletely
cool,usecompressedairto
blowawaydirtordebris
aroundeachsparkplug.This
reducestheriskofparticles
fallingintothecombustion
chamberandcausingmajor
enginedamage.
Clear Your Path
Ifyourcarhasanolder
engine,thesparkplugwires
maybecoveredbyrubber
boots.Thebestwayto
removethebootsiswitha
bootpuller,liketheonefrom
SummitRacing
(summitracing.com).Oryou
canremoveabootbytwisting
andpullinguponit.Never
pullonthewiresthemselves.
Ifyourcarhasanewer
engine,coilsareattachedto
theplugs.Pullbackonthetab
ofeachcoil’sharness,and
thengrabthecoilandslowly
pullup.You’llhearapopof
thevacuumsealbreaking,
andthecoilshouldslideout.
Don’tusetools—theymay
snapthecoil.
Remove the Plugs
Usearatchetwrench,sparkplugsocket,andextensionto
unscrewtheplug.Iftheplug
won’tbudge,itcouldbe
jammed.Puteverythingback
togetherandtakeyourcarto
theshop.Youcoulddamage
theplugthreadsifyouforce
it.
Set the Spark
Plug’s Gap
Thespace,orgap,between
thetwoelectrodesmustbeset
foryourengine.Usea
gappinggaugetoadjustthe
gapaccordingtothefigurein
yourowner’smanual.The
gapiscorrectwhenyoupass
thegaugebetweenthe
electrodesandfeelslight
resistance.
Make the Swap
Applyasmallamountofantiseizelubricant,suchas
Permatextothethreadsofthe
sparkplugtoprevent
corrosion,andusethesocket
andextensiontocarefully
inserttheplug.Becarefulnot
tobumptheelectrode.To
avoidcross-threading,give
theplugatwistinthe
oppositedirectionsothe
threadsalignandthenhand
tighten.Finishtightening
withatorquewrenchperyour
owner’smanual.Reconnect
thebootsorcoils.
DIAGNOSE A
“CHECK ENGINE”
LIGHT
Whenthelittleamberengine
icononyourpanellightsup,
it’susuallyforanoncritical
reason.(Iftheoilicon
illuminatesoryour
temperaturegaugespikes,
that’sanotherstory:Stop
drivingandhaveyourcar
towedtoamechanic.)When
youhaveto“checkengine,”
you’remostlikelydealing
withoneofthethreethings
below.
Culprit 1: A Loose
Gas Cap
Yourcardetectsairleaking
fromthefueltank,something
thatcanaffectemissions.If
thelightcomesonandthere’s
noobviousenginetrouble,
checkthecap,makingsure
youhearthreeclickswhen
youtightenit.(Itmaytake
severalenginestartstomake
thelightgoaway.)
Culprit 2: “Lean”
Condition
Thiscanresultfromtoomuch
airenteringyourengine.With
thecarrunning,checkfor
hissingsoundsinthevacuum
hosesthatenterthetopof
yourengine.Onceyou
pinpointtheleak,makesure
thehoseisproperlyseatedon
theport,oruseoil-resistant
tapetosealit.
Culprit 3: Old
Spark Plugs
Ifthecar’spast100,000
milesandthesparkplugsor
plugwireshaven’tbeen
replaced,itmightbetime.
RunYourOwn
Diagnostic
Havingyourservicetech
readtheenginecodeoff
yourcar’scomputer,which
willIDtheproblemthat
triggeredthelight,could
costyouabout$75.For
aboutthesameprice,you
canbuyyourownOBD-II
scanner.It’lltellyouwhat
theproblemisandgive
youashotatfixingit
yourself.(Itwillalso
switchthelightoff.)We
liketheActronPocketScan
CodeReader(actron.com).
HOW TO DISPLAY
OLD GLORY
CORRECTLY
• Whenshownwithother
flags,theUSflagshould
betallerorextendout
farther,anditshouldhang
aboveanyotherflagon
thesamepole.
•
Inarowofflags,it
shouldbefarthesttoits
ownright.
•
Whenhunghorizontally
orverticallyfromawall,
theunionshouldbeatthe
topandtotheleftof
anyonelookingatit.
Whendisplayedina
window,itshouldbe
displayedinthesame
way.
•
Whenhungoverthe
street,thefieldofstars
shouldbetotheeastona
north-southstreetornorth
onaneast-weststreet.
•
Ifaflagistattered,it
shouldbe“retired”by
burning.Ortakeittoa
localVFW,wherethe
memberswillhandleit
properly.
Rule #21
To avoid smashing your
thumb with a hammer, use a
comb instead of your fingers
to hold a nail in place.
Surviveinthe
Wild
Skills You Learned
in Boy Scouts and
Forgot as Soon as
You Noticed Girls
Someyearsago,atDelaware
WaterGapNational
RecreationArea,acarwith
NewYorklicenseplates
pulledupatacampsiteat
9:30atnight.Initwerefour
guysfromQueensintheir
earlytwenties,anditwas
prettycleartheyweren’t
experiencedcampers.From
thetrunkofthecar,they
pulledacoolerofbeer,anax,
andabrand-newtentstillin
theDick’sSportingGoods
bag.Whilethreeguysbusied
themselveswithbeerdrinking
andtentconstruction,trying
tofollowthepaper
instructionsbyflashlight,the
fourthsetouttobuildthe
campfire.Hecarriedtwo
bundlesoffirewoodwrapped
inplasticanddumpedthe
woodinthefirering.Next,
hesiphonedgasolinefromthe
car’stankintoanemptyiced
teajug.Hepouredthe
gasolineontothewood,then
tossedhiscigaretteonit.
Nothinghappened.
Hebentdown,sparkedhis
cigarettelighter,andthe
gasolineignited—poof—no
moreeyebrows!
Thegreatoutdoorspresents
manydangersbutevenmore
opportunitiesforlooking
stupid.Thefollowingpages
offeracrashcoursein
outdoorwisdomandskillsso
youwon’tlookstupid.
BUILD THE
PERFECT
CAMPFIRE
Animpressivefirerequires
plentyofairtofuelthe
flames.Atyournext
campout,structureyourfirepitfuelthiswayforalongburningblaze.
Step 1: Safeguard
the Site
Removeflammableobjects
fromanareaabout8feetin
diameterandplaceseveral
containersofwaternearby.
Step 2: Build a
Cabin
Threelogs(a)formthebase
ofthefire.Stacktwomore
layersoftwologseach,
placedperpendiculartothe
layerbelow(b).Foralonger-
lastingfire,makefivelayers.
Fillthe“cabin”withkindling
andtinder(c).Then,atopthe
finallayer,makearoofwith
sticks(d).
Step 3: Build a
Tepee on Top
Makeamoundofdryerlint
(thebestfirestarter)(e)ora
store-boughtfirestarter
(secondbest)andthensmall
twigs,ortinder(f).Themore
tinder,thequickerthefire
ignites.Neveruseleaves,
needles,orcones—they
absorbmoreheatthanthey
produceandcanshootout
sparks.
Carefullyleanmanysticks
togetherinasmalltepee
structuresurroundingthe
mound(g).Leaveanopening
facingtheprevailingbreeze.
Usethinnersticksforthe
foundation,andthenthicker
ones.
Step 4: The Fire
Ignitethekindlinginsidethe
tepeeandletitburn.The
tepeewilleventuallycollapse
andfallintothelogcabin.To
putthefireout,drownthe
emberswithwater.Stir.
Repeat.Don’tleaveuntilyou
canfeelthegroundwithyour
handtoconfirmthatit’scool.
Source:MikeCooney,BoyScoutsof
America,seniordistrictexecutive,
easternMaine
Rule #1
Strips of white birch bark
make an excellent fire starter
and will burn even when wet.
START A FIRE
WITH A
FLASHLIGHT
Out of matches? No Bic? If you
have a fresh flashlight battery and
very fine steel wool, you can start a
fire. Roll the wool between your
hands into a cigarette shape. Then
pull the ends apart gently so there is
only a fine mesh of steel wool in the
center. Now touch one end to the
battery’s positive end and the other
to the negative end. The current will
make the wool in the center spark
and burn. Touch some dry tinder
with it and blow to get a flame.
Rule #2
Never build a campfire ring
with river rocks. If they have
been in water for a long time,
they are cold and more
porous. When heated, they
can expand and blow apart
like grenades, shooting
shrapnel around your
campsite.
HOW TO MAKE
TRAIL MIX
AbagofGORP(GoodOl’
RaisinsandPeanutsplus)not
onlyenergizesthebody,it
liftsthespiritduringalong,
hardslogupasteepand
rockytrail.Herearethebase
ingredientsforatastytrail
mix.Feelfreetogetcreative.
2 cups popcorn
3 tablespoons raw almond slivers
3 tablespoons peanuts
⅓ cup raisins
⅓ cup dried cranberries
Cinnamon to taste
Combine all ingredients.
Makes 4 servings
Per serving: 150 calories, 6 g fat, 4
g protein, 3 g fiber
1. Complex carbs equal energy;
fiber fills you up.
2. Monounsaturated fats provide
long-lasting energy.
3. Peanuts contribute protein,
healthy fats, and L-arginine, an
amino acid that helps control blood
flow.
4. Raisins’ iron content boosts
oxygen delivery.
5. Cranberries house antioxidants
and have antibacterial properties.
6. Cinnamon flavors the mix without
relying on the salt many
prepackaged mixes contain.
HOW TO DRY WET
HIKING BOOTS
Neverputthemclosetoa
campfiretodrythem.The
heatcancracktheleatheror
meltrubbersolesorsynthetic
uppers.Instead,stuffthe
bootswithsmallfire-warmed
rocksplacedinsidesocks.
Rule #3
Change your scenery. Block
out a week for a camping trip.
Sleeping outdoors naturally
syncs your circadian clock to
the sunrise and sunset,
according to a study in
Current Biology.
FIX EYEGLASSES
WITH FISHING
LINE
If you lose the little screw that holds
the temple of your eyeglasses to its
frame, knot one end of
monofilament, then slip the other
end through the screw hole and tie
it. Melt both knots with a match to
form a rivet. Fixed! Just in time to
see the bear that’s been watching
you fix your glasses.
PADDLE HER
PROPERLY
Wecan.Canoe?
There’snoeasierwaytolook
likeadoofusonthewater
thantryingtopaddleacanoe
whenyoudon’tknowhowto
makethevesselgostraight.
Firstthingtoknowishowto
sitinacanoe:Ifyou’re
paddlingsolo,sitinthestern,
facingthebow,thefrontof
thecanoe.You’llknowitby
studyingAnatomyofaCanoe
onthenextpage.Youcansit,
butyou’llgetmorestability
andpowerbykneelingin
frontoftheseattoloweryour
centerofgravity.Readyto
paddle?Whenpaddlingon
theright,orstarboardside,of
theboat,yourrighthand
shouldgraspthethroatjust
abovetheblade;yourleft
handshouldbeontopofthe
grip,neveraroundtheshaft,a
commonbeginnermistake.
Forward Stroke (A)
Theprimarystrokefor
canoeists.Extendyourarm
nearestthebladestraightand
placethepaddleinthewater
aheadofyou.Pullbackwith
thathandwhilepushing
forwardwiththehandonthe
grip.
J-Stroke (B)
Thisstrokeisusedbythe
canoeistinthesterntokeep
thecanoetrackingstraight,
sincewitheachforward
stroke,thecanoewantsto
turntotheoppositeside.The
J-strokecorrectsthis.Starta
forwardstrokeasshownin
drawingA.Whenyourleft
handreachesyourhip,rotate
yourrightwristthumbdown
towardthewater.Thatwill
turnthepaddlebladeintoa
rudderpositionunderwater.
Nowsimplyprytheblade
awayfromthecanoetobring
theboatbackontrack.
Byusingbothstrokes
properly,youwon’thaveto
switchsideswithyour
paddles.
Draw Stroke
Usedprimarilybythebow
paddlertoturnquicklyto
avoidarockinwhitewater,
thisstrokeisusefulfor
pullingtheboatuptoadock
byeitherpaddler.Withthe
bladeheldparalleltothe
canoe,reachouttotheside
awayfromtheboat,dipthe
paddleinthewateranddraw
thebladebacktowardthe
sideofthecanoe.
Cross Draw Stroke
Thisstrokeiscreatedforthe
bowman,orfrontpaddler,to
helpsteerthefrontofthe
canoequickly,forexample,
toavoidaboulderjust
beneaththesurfaceina
whitewaterriver.Thecross
drawislikethedrawstroke
butperformedontheside
opposite(or“off”)from
whichyouarepaddling.For
example,ifyouarepaddling
ontherightsideofthecanoe
andwanttoturnthebowto
theleft,don’tchangehand
grips,butratherliftthe
paddlebladefromthewater,
rotateyourtorsotobringthe
bladetotheleftsideofthe
canoe,reachoutasfarasyou
can(asshownabove),dipthe
paddleblade,andpullitto
thehull.Thebowwillpivot
left.
Rule #4
If you fall out of a raft or canoe
in a whitewater river, never try
to stand. Your foot can
become wedged between
rocks, and the force of the
water will force your upper
body (and head) underwater.
Instead, see Rule #5.
ANATOMY OF A
CANOE
Youknowyoupaddle,not
row,acanoe,right?Now
learnitsparts.
Bow
Thefrontofthecanoe.If
there’saseat,therewillbe
spacebetweentheedgeofthe
seatandthefrontofcanoefor
yourlegs.
Starboard
Rightside.
Yoke
Usedtocarrythecanoeon
yourshoulders.
Stern
Backofthecanoe.Thisis
wherethemoreseasoned
paddlersitsinatandem
canoe,becausemoststeering
isdonefromhere.
Gunwales
Pronounced“gunnels”not
“gunwales.”Thesearethe
topedgesofthesidesofthe
boat.
Port
Leftside.
Rule #5
This goes along with Rule #4.
After being dumped out of
your boat in a whitewater
river, float on your back facing
downstream. Stay upstream of
your canoe, kayak, or raft. A
boat full of water can crush
you if you get between it and a
big rock. Keep your toes
poking above the water’s
surface and use your feet to
kick away from any boulders.
Backstroke toward shore and
away from any “strainers,” or
downed trees that are in the
river. River water can go
through these strainers, but
you can’t; you can be pinned
against them and forced
under. Stay away.
ESTIMATE A JUMP
FROM A CLIFF
Youwanttoendsummer
withasplash,butthatcliff
lookedalotsmallerfroma
mileaway.Beforeyouleap
intotheabyss,youshould
knowexactlyhowfaryou’re
abouttoplunge.Becausethis
couldbelegendary.
Here’s how:Pickuparock,
tossitstraightoutoverthe
edge,andcounttheseconds
untilithitsbottom.Thenlet
Newton’ssecondequationof
motionrunthenumbers.
Simplyput,gravityexertsthe
samepullonallobjects
regardlessofweight.That
meansjustaboutanything
denseandsolid,whetherit’s
arock,abaseball,orahuman
body,willgenerallyfallatthe
samerate.
Asthingsplummet,they
alsopickupspeed.Inother
words,duringa2-secondfall,
you’lldrop16feetthefirst
secondand48thenext.
Whilethereareotherwaysto
gaugedistance,counting
hangtimehasanotherperk:
Youcangradeotherpeople’s
dubiousclaimsfromany
angleorevenbylookingat
theiriPhonevideos.Andit’s
worthbettingthatyourbuddy
isexaggeratingwhenhe
bragsthathe’sfree-fallen
fromsomecrazyheight.A
Men’sHealthreviewof20
YouTubevideosinwhich
peopleboastedthey’djumped
100feet(totalhangtime:2½
seconds)revealedthat75
percentofthosetalltalesfell
short.
Makeyouroff-the-cliff
calculationseveneasierby
downloadingtheCliffHeight
Timerapp.It’sastopwatch
thatdoesthemathforyou.
NowyoucanGeronimoin
withconfidence.Nojump
shouldbealeapoffaith—not
whensciencecanhelpyou
calculateareliablepersonal
record.
Assumptions:Thismath
ismostaccurateforheights
upto200feet.Afterthat,air
resistanceonanyobject
becomesabiggerfactor.
Safety note:Neverjump
ordiveintowaterthatyou
don’tknowforsureisplenty
deepandfreeofhazards.
Scoutthewaterfirst.
Source:MarkRober,aformerNASA
engineerwhohostshisownscienceand
creativitychannelonYouTube.
16 × (SECONDS
IN THE AIR)2 =
TOTAL FEET TO
THE GROUND
FLIP FLAPJACKS
Toturnapancakeoverinthe
airwithaflourish,sweepthe
fryingpanforward,up,and
aroundinasmooth,loopingthe-loopmotion.
KNOW YOUR
KNOTS
Bowline—forms a
secure loop.
Formaneyeholeintherope
withthestandingpartofthe
ropeextendingunderneath.
Taketheendoftheropeand
formalargeloopbelowthe
eye,thensnaketheendup
throughtheeye.Turnthefree
endoftheropearoundthe
standingpart(“therabbitruns
aroundthetree”)andback
downintotheeye(“and
jumpsbackinhishole”).Pull
thestandingparttotighten.
Clove Hitch—Ties
up to a post fast
and releases
easily.
Turntherope’sendarounda
postandrunitunderneaththe
standingpart.Takeasecond
turnaroundthepostinthe
samedirectionandpokethe
workingendthroughtheeye
ofthesecondturn.Pulltight.
Square Knot—
Often called a reef
knot because it
was used to tie up
a reef (sail).
Usedtotietworopestogether
sotheycaneasilybeuntied.
Crosstheleftendofarope
overtherightendoftheother
rope.Tucktheleftendunder
theright.Thentuckthe
workingendthatliesonthe
rightsideoftheknotoverand
undertheworkingendonthe
leftsideoftheknot.
Remember:“Leftoverright
andunder;rightoverleftand
under.”Pulltotighten.
Two Half Hitches—
A simple knot to tie
a rope to a tree or
boat.
Formaclockwiseloop
aroundtheobjectwiththe
workingendoftheropeover
topofthestandingrope.Tie
anoverhandknotbybringing
theworkingendthroughthe
loop.That’sonehalfhitch.
Repeatwithasecond
overhandknot.
CARRY A BIG
STICK
Choosetherighthikingstick
withthesetipsfromSimon
Fryer,aguidewiththe
ColoradoMountainSchool.
(Speakingsoftly,optional.)
1. Pickastickthat’satleast
waisthigh.You’llgrabit
atwaistleveltogoupor
downhills.
2. Findadrystickthat’s
beenaroundawhile,nota
freshlybrokenone.Adry
stickislighterandeasier
tocarry.
3. Leanonithard,toseeif
thewoodisstrong
enoughtoholdyou.
4. Aflatbaseprovides
greaterstabilitythana
pointedone.
Rule #6
To estimate how long a hike
will take, figure a half hour for
each mile and a half hour for
every 1,000 foot increase in
altitude.
PILOT A KAYAK
THROUGH ROUGH
WATERS
Map Your Route
Surveythewaterbefore
shovingoff.Makeamental
noteofcalm-waterchutesand
hazardssuchaslargerocks
andbranchesoffallentrees
(knownas“strainers.”)
Alsotrytopickouteddies.
Thesecountercurrentpools
gatherbehindobstructions
andcanhelpyoucontrolyour
speedandofferslow-water
placestorest.
Take the Helm
Asyouenterthekayak,slide
yourlegsallthewaytothe
front,placingtheballsof
yourfeetonthefootpegs.
Yourlegsshouldbow,with
yourkneesbracingthecraft’s
topinnerwall.
Plantyourbuttintheseat
andyourhipsinthehippads.
Youshouldfeelasifyou’re
wearingthekayak,your
posturestrongandbody
slightlyforwardforpower.
Secureyoursprayskirtover
thelipofthecockpittokeep
waterout.
Paddle Properly
Don’trelyonlyonyour
bicepsforpower.Instead,
paddlefromyourtorso.Hold
thepaddlewithyourhands
shoulderwidthapart,striving
fora90-degreeelbowangle.
Reachwiththepaddleas
farforwardaspossibleand
pulluntilitpassesyourknee.
Thefirst30percentofthe
strokeappliesthemost
forwardmomentum.
Bob and Weave
Tocatchaneddy,position
yourkayaksoyouenteratan
angle.Otherwisetheeddy’s
flowmaytipyourride.
Iftheeddyistoyourleft,
banktheboatbyliftingyour
rightkneewhilepushing
downwithyourleftbutt
cheek(orviceversa),and
enteritusingahardforward
stroke.Usethismethodto
connectthedotsonyourway
tocalmerwater.
STAY WARM, LIKE
A SCARECROW
Ifyou’recaughtinastorm,
keephypothermiaatbaywith
thescarecrowtechnique.
Takeyourshoelacesandtie
yourpantscuffsaroundyour
ankles.Thenstuffyourpants
andshirtwithdryleavesor
pineneedlesasinsulation.If
trappedinyourcarduringa
snowstorm,dothesamething
usingthestuffingfrominside
theseatcushions.
Survivewitha
SPEAR
Avoidpanicinasurvival
situation.Focusontaking
action,usinga“SPEAR”:
Stop
Plan
Execute
Assess
Reevaluate
AVOID A BEE
STING
(WITHOUT
LOOKINGLIKEA
MORON)
Step 1: Do Nothing
Mostbeesdon’tattack.A
circlingbeeisusuallycurious
aboutwhyyou’reneartheir
homeoraboutyoursmell;its
scentglandsmaybeagitated
byagroomingproductyou’re
wearing.Standstill.Fast
movementsmakeyouan
aggressor.
Step 2: Retreat!
Ifthebeeaimsforyourface,
ifitbringsfriends,orifit’s
aroundforlongerthana
minute,youmightbeinits
territory.Timetogo:
•
Joginastraightlinefora
fewsecondstogain
distancequickly.Bees
giveupthechaseif
you’retoofaraway.
•
Don’tzigzag.Thebee
canfollowyourscent,
andzigzaggingmakesfor
alotofrunningbutnota
lotofdistance.
•
Itdoesn’tknowwhat
yourrolled-upmagazine
is.Allyou’redoingis
pissingitoffatclose
range.
•
Forgetaboutjumping
intoalake.Beesare
happytofollowyour
scenttothewaterand
stingyourfacewhenyou
resurface.
Source:PaulJackson,chiefinspector
ofTexasA&MUniversity’shoneybee
identificationlab
Primary Stingers
1. HornetSleek;usually
nestsintrees;cansting
multipletimes
2. WaspSleek;aerialor
buriednest;cansting
multipletimes
3. Yellow jacketDistinctive
black-and-yellow-banded
wasp;aerialorburiednest;
canstingmultipletimes
4. BumblebeeBig,fuzzy,
slowflyer;buriednest;can
stingmultipletimes
5. HoneybeeRelatively
small;nestsintreesand
wood;stingsonce,thendies
StingFirst-Aid
Ifahoneybeestingsyou,
trytoextractthestinger
ASAPorvenomwillseep
intoyourskin.Don’tpinch
thestinger(thevenomsac
mayburst).Instead,scrape
itoutwithacreditcardor
yourfingernail.Applyice
toreduceswelling.Takean
antihistaminesuchas
Benadryltohelpstop
itching.Also,tryapplying
apasteofbakingsodaand
water.
FIND NORTH
WITHOUT A
COMPASS
With a stick.Pressastick
intothegroundandangleit
directlyatthesunsoit
doesn’tcastashadow.Aftera
while,thesunwillcreatea
shadowofthestickthatwill
pointtowardtheeast.
Drawingaperpendicularline
acrosstheshadowwillgive
younorthandsouth.
With a watch.Holdingan
analogwatchflat,placea
twiguprightagainstthedial
atthepointofthehourhand.
Nowturnthewatchuntilthe
twig’sshadowcoversthe
hourhand.Alinehalfway
betweenthehourhandand12
pointsroughlysouth.
By the North Star.Search
thenightskyfortheBig
Dipperandthenlocatethe
twostarsfarthestfromthe
dipper’shandle.An
imaginarylinethroughthem
pointsalmoststraightat
Polaris,theNorthStar.
Polarisisalsothelaststarin
thehandleoftheLittle
Dipper.
GUESSTIMATE
WIND SPEED
MPH
Smoke rises
straight up
0
Smoke drifts
1-3
Leaves on trees
rustle
4-7
Small branches
move
8-12
Larger branches
13-
move
18
Small trees sway
and flags ripple
1924
Larger trees sway;
flags flap, making a
beating sound
2531
Whole trees sway
and flags extend
straight; it’s hard to
walk against the
wind
3238
STAY WARM IN A
SLEEPING BAG
Commonsensemightlead
youtobelievethatbundling
upwitheverypieceofwarm
clothingyouhavewillkeep
youwarminyoursleeping
bag.Butyouwouldbebetter
offstrippingtotheskinor
wearingonlylongunderwear.
Thatwillgiveyourbodyheat
achancetowarmtheair
insideyoursleepingbag,
whichwillkeepyou
comfortable.Inthemorning,
changeoutofwhateveryou
sleptin.Thoseclotheswillbe
dampfromperspirationand
willchillyouassoonasyou
stepoutside.
Rule #7
A pee bottle in your sleeping
bag will make you feel very
intelligent on a cold or wet
night in the tent.
HOW TO EAT A
PINE TREE
Ifyouevergetlostinthe
woods,rescuerswillprobably
findyoubeforethebuzzards
do.Still,it’swisetoknow
what’sedibleinthewild.
Greens.Watercress,
dandelion,younggoldenrod,
blackmustard,orchicory
leavesmakeagoodsalad.By
summertime,somegreens
turnbitter.Boilthemtocut
thebitterness.
Cattail.Boiltheyoung
greenpollenheadsandeat
themlikecornonthecob.
Thethickrootofthisplant
canberoasted.
Pine-needle tea.Chopa
handfulofgreenlodgepole
pineneedlesandsteepinhot
waterforafragranttea.Also,
youcaneattheinnerwhite
barkofcertainpinetrees,
suchaslodgepoleandScotch
pine(butNOTyew,whichis
poisonous),raworboiled.
Stripthebrownbarkfromthe
treeandscrapeouttheinner
whitepithybark.Somepine
trees,suchaspiñonpinenuts,
canbeeaten,too.
Caveat:Beforeyougo
gnawingonanythinginthe
greatoutdoors,pickupa
guidebooklikethePeterson
FieldGuidetoEdibleWild
Plants.Gettingsickisoften
worsethangoinghungry.
MAKE A
HOMEMADE
SURVIVAL KIT
Tossthisstuffinthetrunkof
yourcarforthetimeyou
breakdown40milesfromthe
nearestDaysInn.
•
25feetofnyloncordfor
stringingupatentanda
zillionotheruses
•
Twolarge,heavy-duty
plasticbags.Canbecutto
makeatentorarainsuit.
•
Ametallizedspace
blanketforwarmth
•
Alargecandleand20
waterproofwooden
matches
•
Asmall,sharp
pocketknife
•
•
Waterpurificationtablets
Somefishhooksandline
•
Smallflashlightwith
extrabatteries
•
Largebandanna.Useitas
asunhat,sweatband,
sling,bandage,andfor
catchingminnows.
•
Chocolatebaranddried
meat
•
•
Acollapsiblecup
Asmallfirst-aidkit
Cramitallina2-pound
coffeecan,whichdoublesas
acookpot.Puttheplastictop
onitandwrap4feetofduct
tapearoundthecan.Youcan
usethetapetorepair
equipmentand—inapinch—
people.
Rule #8
When lost in the wilderness,
think: first shelter, then water,
then food.
BEAR
ESSENTIALS
• Whenhikinginbear
country,yodel,talk
loudly,orsing.Making
humannoisesallowsthe
animaltomoveaway
beforeyougetthere.You
neverwanttosurprisea
bear.
•
Ifablackbearenters
yourcamp,bangonapot
toscareitaway.
•
Ifablackbearnosesyou
awakeatnight,don’t
makesuddenmoves,but
don’tplaydead,either.
Talktothebearinacalm,
deepvoicetoletitknow
youaren’troadkill.
•
Neverrunorclimbtrees
—twothingsbearsdo
betterthanhumans.
Instead,standyour
groundandgetbigand
loud.Clapyourhandsand
yell.Ifinagroup,gather
togethertoappearbigger
andshowthatyouaren’t
afraid.Dropanyfoodthat
mightbeattractingthe
bear.
•
Ifattackedbyabrown
bear,curlintoaball,
holdingyourheadand
neckwithyourarms.
Leaveyourbackpackon
forprotection.Most
brownbearswillstop
attackingwhenthethreat
isgone.
CONQUER THE
TRAIL
Keepyourfeethappywith
tipsfromlong-distancehiker
JustinLichterandGeorganna
MortonofMountain
CrossingsOutfitter.
Outfit your feet.Gowith
trailshoes—theylackthe
stiffnessofbootsanddon’t
needtobebrokenin.Ifthe
toporsideofyourfootrubs
duringthehike,stopto
relace,skippingthegrommet
closesttothehotspotto
relievethepressure.
Calibrate your stride.
Rookiehikerstendtostomp.
Instead,walkasifyouwere
onthestreet—naturally.Over
time,anyunnaturalmotionin
yourstridecanfatigueyour
joints.
HowtoShitinthe
Woods
Findasecludedareathat
isn’twithin200yardsofa
watersourcerightoffthe
trail.Useatroweltodiga
hole6to8inchesdeep.
“Thebestenzymesfor
decompositionareinthe
toplayerofsoil,”says
KathleenMeyer,authorof
HowtoShitintheWoods.
NoTP?Huntforsoftfallen
leavesthathaven’tdriedup
orevenasmoothstone.
Assumetheposition.
Squatinasurfer’sstance,
buttbelowyourknees,
armsextendedforbalance.
Done?Burytheleavesor
stonealongwithyour
waste,orifyouusedtoilet
paper,sealitinaplastic
bagandcarryitoutofthe
woodswithyouandflush
itathome.Don’tforgetto
washyourhands.
Source:KathleenMeyer,authorof
HowtoShitintheWoods.
SWIM WITH
SHARKS
Yourchancesofbeing
attackedbyasharkareabout
1in75million.Sotheodds
arebetterforyouthat
JenniferLawrencewillshow
upatyourmotel-roomdoor
withabagofpretzelsanda
partyhat.Ofcourse,wedon’t
havetotellyouthatyou
won’tgetveryfartryingto
tellthattothefininthe
water.Sousethisuncommon
knowledgetogetoutofthe
waterwithyourlimbs.
The Basics:
1. Don’tactlikebait.
2. Punchanattackingshark
inthenose.
3. Sharksaredumberthan
pitbulls.Meaner,too.
The Details:
1. Don’t panic or splash.
You’lllooklikea
woundedseal—butswim
awaywithslow,even
strokes.
2. Go deep.Ifyouare
scubadiving,movetothe
bottomagainstarockso
youareprotectedfrom
therear.Youmightalso
scarethesharkawayby
sendingastreamof
bubbleshiswayfrom
yourregulator.
3. Duke it out.Iftheshark
attacks,pokeitsharplyin
thesnout,eye,orgills.
Sharks,likemanyother
animals,aresensitive
aroundtheschnoz,anda
goodpunchinthenose
makesyoutoomuch
troublefordinner.
4. Dress down.Don’t
wearbrightlycolored
swimtrunksorflashy
silverchains.
5. Don’t tinkle.Howmany
timesdowehavetotell
you?Don’tpeeinthe
water.Nomatterhow
scaredyouare.Sharks
lovethatstuff.
Don’tBecome
Chum,Chum
Ofshark-attackvictims,93
percentaremale.
Septemberispeak
chompingseasonasmore
diversandsurfershitthe
waterintasty,seal-colored
wetsuits.
HOW TO ESCAPE
A RIP CURRENT
Yourinstinctwillbetoswim
straighttoshore,butthe
currentistoostrong.Instead,
moveparalleltothe
shoreline.Can’tbreakthe
grip?Treadwaterandgowith
theflow.Eventuallythe
currentwillcarryyououtof
theripcurrentandyoucan
swimtoshore.Youcanavoid
aripcurrentbyspottingthe
clues:achannelofchurning,
choppywater;achangein
watercolor;abreakinthe
incomingwavepattern;ora
lineofseaweedorfoam
movingouttosea.
KeepSweatOutof
YourEyes
Duringahikeortrailrun,
youcandivertthesweat
fromstingingyoureyesby
rubbinglipbalmoveryour
eyebrows.
CATCH MORE
FISH
Whenyoudon’tcatch
anythingonyourfishingtrip,
you’vebeenskunked.And
thatstinks.Improveyour
oddsoflandingalunkerwith
thesetips.
1. Beforeyousetaline,ask
aquestion.Visitatackle
shopnearwhereyou’llbe
fishingandaskwhich
luresandbaitsarebest
andhowtofishthem.
2. Besneaky.Fishfrighten
easily.Sneakuponthem
quietly.Don’tbangyour
tackleboxontheboator
talkloudlyonshore.
Whenapproachingagood
fishingspot,walkslowly
andcrouchdownsothe
fishwon’tseeyou.
3. Thinksmall.When
finickyfisharen’tbiting
yourbignightcrawlersor
minnows,tryusing
smallerbait.Cutyour
wormorminnowinhalf
andputapieceonyour
hook.Sometimesfish
prefersmallerportions.
4. Thinkshade.Onsunny
days,bassliketohang
outintheshadeofhalfsunkenstumpsand
submergedlogs.Cast
yourlureafewfeetin
frontofthestumpand
thenreelthelurethrough
theshade.
5. Uselightweightline.It
shouldbethinand
invisibletofish.For
bluegills,perch,andtrout,
use4-to6-poundtest
monofilament.Forlarger
fish,use6-to12-pound
testline.
6. Brooktroutareeasierto
catchthanacoldbecause
theyfeedonfoodthat
floatsby.Useaspinner
lureandcastit
perpendiculartothe
current.Aimforapartof
thestreamwitheddies
andsmall,standingwaves
andlettheluredrive
downstreamwhilereeling
in.Nobite?Taketwo
stepsdownstreamand
castagain.
7. Sunriseisoneofthebest
timestofish.Getup
early.Becastingatfirst
light.
8. Pickafish’sfavorite
color.Thebestrubber
wormcolorsareblackfor
nightfishingandpurple
fordaytimefishing.
9. Goandstopandgo.To
makeyourspinneror
rubberwormlookmore
realistic,useastop-andgoretrieve:Reelinfiveto
seventurns,thenstopfor
afewsecondsandrepeat
thispattern.
10. Usehomeboyminnows.
Whenfishingwithlive
baitfish,catchtheminthe
samewateryouaregoing
tofish.Thatwayyou
won’tintroducenew
diseasesorfishspeciesto
alakeorriver.
11. Playadouble-header.
Bringtworods.Baitone,
cast,andletitsitpropped
uponaY-shapedstick.
Putanartificiallureon
theotherone,cast,and
retrieve.You’lldouble
yourchancesofcatching.
12. Trycrickets.Bigbluegills
lovecrickets.Buyabout
50liveonesfromabait
store.Useanumber10
long-shankedhookand
runthehookthroughthe
cricket’sback,justbehind
thehead.Addtwolarge
splitshotstothelineto
maketheinsecteasyto
cast,nobobber.Castinto
waterthat’sabout10feet
deepandhasaweedy
bottom.Letthesplitshots
hitbottom,thenraise
yourrodtipandstart
reelinginslowerthan
slow.
13. Avoidhooksbiggerthan
size10.Thefishwill
noticethem.Size12,
whichissmallerthan10,
isperfectfortrout.
14. Tocatchmorefish,set
thehookright.Many
beginnersyanktheline
toohard,pullingthehook
rightoutofthefish’s
mouth.Whenyour
bobbergoesunderoryou
feelthe“taptap”onyour
rod,liftyourrodtipwith
aquickjerk.That’llhelp
thehookbiteintothe
fish’sjaw.Thenkeep
yourrodtiphighasyou
reelitin.
HowtoTossaFish
Back
Byreturningyourfishto
thewater,youimprove
yourchancesofcatching
morefishanotherday.
Howtodoitright:Wet
yourhandsbeforetouching
thefish.Handleitaslittle
aspossiblewhentakingit
offthehook.Holditunder
theheadandtailandgently
placeitbackinthewater,
movingitforwardsowater
passesthroughitsmouth
andgillsuntilitswims
away.
MASTER THE
SIDEARM CAST
Toavoidsnaggingyourlineinthetrees
withanoverhandcast,trythissidestyle
instead,recommendsChrisLane,2012
BassmasterClassicchampion.
Step 1.
Standwithyourfeetshoulderwidth
apartandyourbodysquaredwithwhere
youwanttheluretoland.Thisstance
providespowerfromyourhips;the
resultisastrongercast.
Step 2.
Holdtherodinfrontofyourhipon
yourdominantsideandkeepitparallel
totheground.Swingitbackaround
yourhip,turningsoyourkneebends
slightly.
Step 3.
Inonesmoothmotion,rotateyourhips
andtherodbacktowardyourstarting
stance.Swingtherodforward,and
whenitpassesyourhip,flickyourwrist
towardwhereyouwanttheluretoland.
Atthesamemomentletoutyourline.
Rule #9
If you can see the fish, the fish
can see you.
HOW TO CLEAN A
FISH
Strip the Scales
Grabaknifewithyour
dominanthand.Flopthefish
ontoacuttingboardandhold
theheadwithyour
nondominanthand.Position
thebladeperpendiculartothe
fish.Usingfirmstrokes,
scrapefromtailtohead.
(Scaleswillfly!)Flipitand
repeat.
Slice It Open
Rinsethefish.Holdingthe
fishthesamewayasbefore,
inserttheknifetipintotheslit
betweenthebellyandrear
fins.Workthebladetoward
theheaduntilyoureachthe
bonebeneaththegills.Inone
motion,forcetheknife
throughtocutthebone.
Gut It!
Removetheknife,pinchthe
gutsnearthehead,andpull
themout.Yankoutthe
bacteria-riddengillstoo—that
waythefishwon’tspoil
quickly.Holdthegills
betweenyourthumband
forefingerandpullupand
awayfromthebody.Fora
largefish,useyourknifefor
help.
Finish the Job
Ifyoulookinsidethebody
cavity,you’llseeadark
bloodlinerunningalongthe
top.Don’tleaveitthere,or
you’llhavebitter-tastingfish.
Usethetipofyourknifeor
yourfingernail(aspoon
worksgreat)toscrapeoutthe
line.Thenrinsetheentirefish
wellundercoldwater.Pat
yourdinnerdry.Nowyou’re
readytocook.
BEST FISHING
LURES
Theseworksowell,they
shouldbeillegal.
1. Dardevle.Forbassand
bigtrout.Agoodluretouse
withthego-stop-goretrieve.
2. Rapala.Thisfloatingplug
withtreblehookslookslikea
pike’sfavoritefood:a
minnow.
3. Mepps spinner.Great
forsmall,rockytroutstreams.
4. Johnson silver
minnow.Tossthisweedless
lureintotheweedbedsand
watchthebassjump.
5. Black rubber worm.
Choosea7-inchsizewitha
curlytailforextraaction.
6. Rat-L-Trap.Lookslikea
woundedshad.Goodfortrout
andpike.
7. Gibbs Pencil Popper.
Aclassicstripedbasslurefor
surfcasting.
8. Roostertail.Oneofthe
bestrainbowtroutspinners
evermade.
9. Hula Popper.Tossitinto
thelilypads.Itlookslikea
frogwearingarubberskirt.
10. Jitterbug.Theglubglubsounditmakesasyou
reelitinringsthedinnerbell
forbass.
TIE ONE ON
The“improvedclinchknot”
issimpleandcanbeusedfor
hooksandlures.
•
Threadthelinethrough
theeyeofthehook,
leaving3inches.Twist
theexcessfivetoseven
timesaroundthestanding
line.
•
Holdthecoilsandthread
theendthroughthefirst
loopabovetheeye,and
thenthroughthelarge
loopyoujustcreated.
•
Pullonthestandingline
andtheexcess
simultaneously.Useyour
fingernailstoslidethe
knottightagainstthe
hook’seye.
A FISH FINDER
Doyouknowabrowniefrom
acrappie?Trythismatch-thecatchquiz.Checkyour
answers.
Freshwater
Largemouthbass___
Smallmouthbass___
Bluegill___
Pickerel___
Rainbowtrout___
Browntrout___
Brooktrout___
Crappie___
Channelcatfish___
Walleye___
Perch___
Muskellunge___
Northernpike___
Saltwater
Bluefish___
Stripedbass___
Tarpon___
Billfish___
Seabass___
Tuna___
Weakfish___
Pompanoorjack___
Reddrum___
SCALE A BIG
BOULDER
Assemble Your
Gear
Youdon’tneedropesand
harnessesforbouldering.Just
findalarge,thickcrashpad,
liketheMetoliusSketchPad
(metoliusclimbing.com),and
thin,sturdyclimbingshoes,
suchastheFiveTenBlacks
(fiveten.com).You’llalso
wantabasicchalkbag,like
evolv’sRoundtangularbag
(rei.com).
Scope Out Your
Rock
Hituprockclimbing.comto
findgreatbouldersnearyou,
orscoutyourown.Yourwall
shouldbe10to16feethigh
withaflatareaforyourcrash
padandhandholdsorcracks
youcanfollow,saysChris
Potts,co-owneroftheSeattle
BoulderingProject.Chalk
marksfrompreviousclimbers
signalpreapproval.
Plan Your Route
Setupachallenge—reaching
thetop,traversingaface,or
goingallthewayaroundthe
boulder,saysPatrick
Odenbeckof
montanabouldering.com.
Haveyourbuddyspotyou,
movingthecrashpadasyou
move.Hisgoalshouldn’tbe
tocatchyoubutinsteadto
preventyoufromfallingon
yourbackorneck.
Keep Your
Momentum
Rookiestendtostandonthe
middleoftheirfeetwhen
climbing,placingtheirfeet
paralleltotheboulder,which
sapspowerfromtheirlegs.
Instead,standonyourtoes.
Thishelpsyouengageyour
calves,aidingbalanceand
lettingyoupoweruptherock,
saysPotts.Yourlegsshould
absorbmostofyourweight.
DON’T GET FRIED
BY LIGHTNING
Ifyouarecaughtina
lightningstorm,getlow,but
don’tlieontheground.
Insteadputyourfeettogether
sotheytouch,squatdown,
grabyourlegs,andrestonthe
ballsofyourfeet.Ifabolt
strikestheground,thecurrent
maybumpovertheballsof
yourfeetandreenterthe
groundwithouttravelinginto
yourbody.Ifthere’saspace
betweenyourfeet,thecurrent
maytraveluponelegand
intoyourbody.Ifyou’rewith
agroupofpeople,spreadout
awayfromeachotherand
haveeveryonesquatas
describedabove.
TightenaLooseAx
Head
Soaktheheadinabucket
ofwaterforafewhours
(onlyifthehandleismade
ofwood,Einstein).The
woodwillswelland
tightentheaxtemporarily.
HOW TO USE
YOUR PANTS AS A
LIFE JACKET
You’reinthemiddleofa
lake,andtheboatsinks,and
you’renotwearingalife
preserver.Dothis:Makeone
outofyourtrousers.While
treadingwater,slipoffyour
pantsandtiethelegstogether
atthecuffs,tighteningthe
knotwithyourteeth.Grabthe
beltorwaistofthepantsand
throwthepantsoveryour
headtocatchairinside.Or,
holdthewaistinonehand
underwatertoinflatethemby
cuppingairinyourother
hand,pushingitunderwater,
andreleasingitintothepants.
(Youcanevenblowairinto
thepantstoinflate.)When
inflated,holdthewaistclosed
andleanthebackofyour
neckacrossthecrotchtokeep
yourheadabovewater.
Reinflateasneeded.
Illustrationsoflifejacketandarm
splintcourtesyofTheBoyScoutsof
America.
Rule #10
When cooking over an open
fire, use flame for boiling,
coals for broiling and frying.
LEARN HOW TO
FLY FISH IN
ABOUT 600
WORDS
“Theequipmentdoesthe
work,”saysBobSousa,PhD,
authorofLearntoFlyFishin
24Hours.“Youarethe
conductor.”
Rod
Agoodfreshwaterflyrodfor
abeginnerisa5-weight,
between8and9feetin
length.Shorterrodsaregood
forthetightlittlestreamsof
theeastandlongerrodsfor
wide-openlakesandbig
riversofthewest.
Line
A5-weightrodtakesa5weightline,butifyouarea
newcaster,fititwitha6-
weight,weight-forwardfly
line.It’llbealittleheavier
andthereforeeasiertocast.
(Remember,unlikeinany
otherstyleoffishing,theline,
nottheweightofthelureora
sinker,carriesthebaittothe
fish.)Ifyou’refishingwater
that’s5feetdeeporless,use
afloatingline;5.5to15feet
deep,asinking-tipline;over
15,useafullsinkingline.To
theline,tiea9-foottapered
leader.Yourleaderwill
shortenasyouchangeflies
duringtheday.Afterlosing2
feetorso,tieona“tippet,”a
thinpieceofline,tobringthe
leaderbackto9feetin
length.
Reel
Chooseareelwithagood,
functionaldrag.You’lllose
fewerfishifyou“reelfight”
themversusbringingthemin
byretrievinglinebyhand.
Linetypicallycomesin110footlengths.Sincemanyfish
canstripoff100feetofline,
you’llneedtoaddwhat’s
called“backing,”aDacron
line,tothereel.“I
recommendwindingthefly
lineonthereelfirst,thentie
yourbackingontotheendof
theflyline,andfillthereelto
capacity,”saysSousa.“That
wayyouknowhowmuch
backingyouneed.”Thenstrip
thelineoffthereeland
reverseitsothatyouwindthe
backingontothearborfirst,
followedbytheflyline.
Flies
“Matchwhatthefishare
eatingatthatmomentand
youwillcatchalotoffish,”
saysSousa.Or,ifyoucan’t
figureoutthehatch,tryone
ofthesesixclassicflies
below.“Ifyouput1,000fly
fishersinaroomandask
themtowritedowntheir10
favoriteflies,95percentof
themwillhavethesesixon
theirlist,”saysSousa.
HOW TO CAST A
FLYROD IN FOUR
SIMPLE STEPS
1. Makesureyourthumbis
ontopoftherodhandle.
2. Lifttherodupbriskly,
stoppingabruptlywhen
therodtipreachesthe1
o’clockposition.
3. Lookbehindyoutowatch
theflylinefloatback.
Waitforittofullyunfurl
beforestartingthe
forwardcast.Thisis
crucial,andwhy
beginnersusingaslightly
heavier6-weightlinewill
finditeasier.Youwantto
feelthelittletickinthe
rodwhenyourlineis
fullyextendedbehind
you.
4. Bringtherodforward,
stoppingwhentherodtip
isat10o’clockand
allowingtheflyline
carryingtheleaderto
unfurl,anddelicately
presenttheflyontothe
water.Allyouneedtodo
iscast30feettocatch
fish,saysBobSousa,
PhD,authorofLearnto
FlyFishin24Hours.
WEATHER A
STORM
Hurricanes,tornadoes,
blizzards,floods—disasteris
neverfarfromus,itseems.If
nature’swrathdescendson
yourtown,survivewithtips
fromKeithStammer,director
ofemergencyservicesin
tornado-ravagedJoplin,
Missouri.
Quick Tip:Isyourhome
vulnerabletohighwinds?
Pickthelowest,mostcentral
interiorroom,likea
bathroom.Ifyou’reinaflood
zone,gotothegarage.
Cell Phone
Aheadoftime,makesure
yourphonecanreceive
wirelessemergencyalerts.
(Askyourcarrier.)Download
RedCrossappsforweather,
shelter,andfirst-aid
information.
Social Media
Iftroublelooms,pickone
personoutsidetheregionwho
canreceivemessagesfrom
youandrelaythemorpost
updatestosocialmedia.In
manysituations,text
messagescanbesentand
receivedevenifcallserviceis
out.
Radio
Buyaradiosyncedwith
NOAA,suchasMidland’s
hand-crankedER102
(midlandusa.com).
Supplies
Packworkclothes,ahardhat,
gloves,andboots.Storerope,
ducttape,flashlights,atarp
forshelter,andOnDuty’s4in-1EmergencyTool.Itcan
turnoffgasandwaterandpry
doorsopen
(ondutynetwork.com).
Rations
You’llneed72to96hoursof
foodandapproximately1
gallonofwaterperpersonper
day.
Q: WHAT’S THE
FASTEST WAY TO
ADJUST TO HIGH
ALTITUDE WHEN
SKIING OR
BACKPACKING?
A.:Theruleofthumbfor
preventingthenauseaand
headacheofaltitudesickness
isthis:Onceyou’reabove
10,000feet,limitthe
elevationincreaseofyour
sleepingenvironmentto
between1,000and1,500feet
aday,saysAndrewLuks,
MD,anassociateprofessorat
theUniversityof
Washington’sdivisionof
pulmonaryandcriticalcare
medicine.Breakingyour
ascentintochunkswillgive
yourbodytimetoacclimatize
tothereducedoxygensupply.
Butifyou’replanningto
summitapeak,youmayneed
morethan3daysto
acclimatize.Monitoringyour
ascentiscriticalbecauseof
thepossibilityofcerebralor
pulmonaryedema,ararebut
potentiallyfatalswellingof
thebrainorlungs.
SecureaFractured
Bone
withacopyof
Men’sHealth
Createasplintfromyour
favoritemagazineor
rolled-upnewspaper.
Secureitinthreeplaces
withtape,ensuringthatthe
splintsupportsaboveand
belowthebreak.
HOW TO ID A BIG
BIRD
look!upinthesky!it’sa,a..
.whatthehellisthat?You
seethemglidingonthe
thermalsabove,silhouetted
againstthebluesky.Andthe
(kid,girlfriend,wife,buddy,
usedcarsalesman)asks,
“Golly,whatintarnationis
thatbigbirdflyinginthe
sky?”Ifyouknowthetelltale
shapesofAmerica’sbig
raptors,you’llseempretty
damnsmart.
REMOVE A TICK—
SAFELY
Choose Your
Weapon
Ifyoudon’thaveatoollike
Pro-TickRemedyorTicked
Off,tweezerswork.Don’t
applyVaseline,lotion,or
alcohol-basedsubstances,and
neverburnthetick.Anyof
thesecanmakeitspewblood
intoyourskin.Yeah,gross.
Be Gentle
Don’tsqueezetoohard;you
wantthetickintact.Stay
awayfromitsgutandaimfor
whereitsmouthisinserted
intoyourskin.Thenpullup
straight.Ifthetickbreaks,
removeasmuchofitasyou
canandmonitorthesite
closely.
Wash
Usesoapandwarmwaterto
thoroughlycleanthebite
area.Thendisinfectitwith
alcoholorcoveritwith
Neosporin.Withatickbite,
youshouldexpectaminor
skininfectionevenifyou’re
notinfectedwithatickborne
illness.
Store the Tick
Savethetickinazipper-lock
bagandstoreitatroom
temperatureincaseitneeds
tobetestedinthefuture.
Watchforjointpainorthe
bull’s-eyerashthatindicates
Lymedisease.
Rule #11
When choosing a spot to pitch
your tent, look down, then
look up. Down—will you be
lying on rocks and roots? Up
—look for “widow makers,”
large, dead branches that may
fall on your tent (and you) in a
windstorm.
FIX A BLISTER ON
THE TRAIL
Packthetoolsyouneedto
treatyourfeetwithhelpfrom
JeffreyPage,DPM,ahiker
anddirectoroftheArizona
SchoolofPodiatricMedicine
atMidwesternUniversity.
Prevent Infection
Iftheblisterisruptured,clean
itbeforebandaging.Soapand
waterarebestforflushing
dirtanddebris,oryoucanuse
anantiseptictoweletteto
wipetheblisterandaninch
aroundit.Applyanantibiotic
ointment,suchasNeosporin,
andthenbandagethearea.
Pop with Care
Iftheblisterisunbroken,pop
it.Useanantisepticwipeto
sterilizeapinorpocketknife.
Piercetheblister’sedge,
leavingthe“roof”intact.
Carefullypressontheroof
withanotherantisepticwipe
untiltheblisterisdrained.
Reduce Irritation
Applyasmallpieceofa
hydrogelmaterialandsecure
itwithadhesive(2ndSkin
makesboth)orathletictape.
Foraddedrelief,surroundthe
blisterwithstripsofadhesive
felt.
Speed Recovery
Youdon’thavetoletthe
blister“breathe.”Forfaster
healing,keepitslightlymoist
afterthehikewithantibiotic
ointmentandanadhesive
bandage.
Muscleand
Fitness
Dozens of Training
Hints and Tips,
Plus Wicked Quick
Workouts That Will
Burn Fat and Give
You a Shredded
Physique of Hard,
Rippled Flesh
Ifyou’reinlousyshape,
you’reinluck.Withalittle
effortyoucanquicklymake
significantstridestoward
improvingyourstrength,
aerobicendurance,and
health.Resultscomebigand
fastwhenyou’restarting
frombeingoutofshape.It’s
whenyouhavethoselast5
stubbornpoundstoloseor
you’retrainingforatriathlon
thatthingsstarttoreallyget
tough.That’swhenyouget
intoDOMS(delayed-onset
musclesoreness),proteinbars
thattastelikesawdust,and
early-morningswimsinfrigid
pools.Butthat’salsowhen
you’vewitnessedtheresults
ofexercise,andyoulovethat
feeling.Whereveryoufallon
thefitnessspectrum,wehave
somethingusefulforyouin
thischapterthat’llhelpyou
becomestronger,leaner,
fitter,andquicker.We’ve
evenpepperedinAmazing
FeatsofFitnessincaseyou
reallywanttobecome
sadisticaboutyourbody
improvementproject.Are
youreadytosweatbuckets?
Turnthepageandstartwitha
simplecircuitofbody-weight
exercisesthat’llkickoffyour
total-bodyreboot.
BLAST FAT
ANYWHERE
Yourbodyisallyouneedto
getbackinshape.Dothe
movesintheordershown,
resting15to30seconds
betweenexercises(or,if
you’reagamer,jumpropefor
1minuteinbetween).
Completethreelung-busting
circuits.
1. Pushup
Getdownonallfourswith
yourhandsslightlybeyond
shoulderwidth.Putyourfeet
together;straightenyourarms
andlegs.Loweryourbody
untilyourchestnearly
touchesthefloor.Pause;push
yourselfbackup.Do20reps.
2. Split Jump
Assumeastaggeredstance
withyourleftfootinfrontof
yourright.Loweryourbody
intoalunge.Jumpwith
enoughforcetopropelboth
feetoffthefloor.Landwith
yourrightlegforward.
Alternatelegseachrep.Do
20reps.
3. Drop Lunge
Standtallwithyourhands
claspedinfrontofyourchest.
Stepbackwithyourright
foot,crossingitbehindyouas
yousinkintoalunge.Reset
andrepeatwithyourleftleg.
Continuealternating.Do10
repsoneachside(20total).
4. Glute Bridge
Liefaceuponthefloorwith
yourrightkneebentandyour
leftlegstraightandinline
withyourrightthigh.Push
yourhipsup.Pause,and
slowlyloweryourhipstothe
startingposition.Do10reps,
switchlegs,andrepeat(20
total).
5. Rolling Plank
Assumeapushupposition,
butrestyourweightonyour
forearmsinsteadofyour
hands.Rotateyourtorsoup
andtotheright.Repeatto
yourleft.Continue
alternatingsides.Do5reps
perside(10total).
Q: WHAT’S THE
BEST EXERCISE
TO IMPROVE MY
TENNIS
BACKHAND?
A.Twistingmedicineball
throws,becausebackhand
powercomesfromcore
strength,notmusculararms,
saysOrlandotenniscoach
BradMinns.“Youmusttwist
yourbodysoyour
nondominanthandcanlead
whenyoustriketheball,”he
says.Thatmeansyourhips,
shoulders,arms,andcore
musclesmustworktogether.
Theperpendicularmedicine
ballthrowworksthemallas
itmimicstheshot.Practice
withapartneror,ifalone,
don’treleasethemedicine
ball,butswingitfrom
midtorsotooveryour
shoulderasyoutwistyour
body.
4 MISTAKES THAT
CAN MAKE YOU
FAT
You Drink Diet
Soda like It’s Water
AUniversityofNorth
CarolinaatChapelHillstudy
foundthatwhenpeople
swappedtheirfavoritesugary
softdrinkforthedietvariety,
theyatemoredessertsand
morebreadthanpeoplewho
swappedtheirgo-tobeverage
forwater.Artificial
sweetenersmayincreaseyour
hungerforsweets,saysstudy
authorBarryPopkin,PhD.
You Try Too Hard
Adoptingaveryrigiddiet
almostguaranteesthatyour
weight-losseffortswillbe
sabotagedbyfoodcravings,
suggestsanewstudyinthe
journalAppetite.Socut
yourselfsomeslack.Flexible
dietershavejustasmany
cravingsandgiveintothem
justasoften,saysstudy
authorAdrianMeule,Dipl.Psych.Thedifferenceisthat
theyaremorelikelytoget
backontrackquickly.
You Play Call of
Duty until 2 A.M.
AnewstudyintheAmerican
JournalofClinicalNutrition
reportsthatscantsleepcan
causeyoutoovereatfatty
foods.Whenpeopleslept
only4hoursanightfor5
days,theytookinnearly300
caloriesmorethanwhenthey
slept9hoursanight.Too
littleshut-eyemayincrease
yourappetitebyshortcircuitingyourbrain’ssense
ofreward.
You’re Too Darned
Optimistic
Ifyou’relikemostpeople,
youwildlyoverestimatethe
numberofcaloriesyouburn
duringexercise.Accordingto
astudyintheJournalof
SportsMedicineandPhysical
Fitness,peoplethoughtthata
workoutincineratedabout
900calorieswhenitactually
burnedjust300.
THE SLOW WAY
TO BIG BICEPS
Yourmusclescanlowermore
weightthantheycanlift.
That’swhyeccentric(or
negative)reps,which
lengthenmuscles,canspark
newgrowth.Addingthe
dumbbellcleanimproves
total-bodypower.Here’show
todoit.
Selectdumbbellsthatare5
to10poundsheavierthan
whatyou’dtypicallyusefor5
repsets.Holdthematyour
sidesandstandwithyour
ankles,knees,andhips
slightlybent(A).“Cheat”the
dumbbellstothetopposition
withaclean:Explosively
standupstraightwhile
bendingyourelbowstodraw
theweightstoyourshoulders
(B).Take5secondstolower
theweights(C).Do3setsof
5reps,resting90seconds
betweensets.
AMAZING FEAT OF
FITNESS: SCALE A
ROPE
Youneverevengothalfway
upinjuniorhighphysed?
Holdyourheadup.That’s
simplybecauseyouweren’t
taughtproperly.Here,try
thesetipsfromMarcus
Bondi,GuinnessWorld
Recordholderforrope
climbing,andthengorescue
acutedamsel.
Step 1: Prep Your
Paws
Chalkuptopreventrope
burn.Nochalkatthegym?
Buyitatasportinggoods
store.Ifyoudon’tlikethe
powderyfeel,usefingerless
climbinggloveswithsplitgrainleatherpalm
reinforcement.
Step 2: Launch the
Climb
Standfacingtheropewith
yourfeetshoulderwidth
apart,kneesbent.Grabitwith
yourdominanthandashigh
asyoucanwithoutlocking
yourelbow.Contractyour
shouldersandtightenyour
absforpower.Inonemotion,
pullyourselfupwhilekicking
withyouroppositekneeup
andout.Gazeuptoyournext
gripsoyoudon’tgrabair.
Step 3: Shoot Up
the Rope
Usingthemomentumfrom
thefirstpull,grabtherope
withyourfreehandabouta
footaboveyouroriginalgrip.
Coveringashorterdistanceat
firsthelpsyourbodyadjustto
andmovewiththeswaying
rope.Pullyourselfupagain,
thistimekickingupwardwith
youroppositekneefor
momentum.Thegoalisto
establisharhythmofshort
burstsofmovement:Reach
andbrace,pullandkick,
repeat.
Step 4: Step It Up
Ifyoucan’tscaletherope
withyourarmsonly,usea
footlocktoenlistyourlegs.
Formastepwithyourfeetby
wrappingtheropeunderone
footandovertheother.Push
offthisstep.Onceyourhands
regriptherope,createanother
stepandproceed.
Step 5: Control
Your Descent
Gripandreleasetheropewith
themiddleofyourinner
thighsforsupport.Yourarms
shouldn’textendoutward
fromyourbodymorethan90
degrees.Don’tdrop;even3
feetofslidingcanseriously
burnyourhandsandthighs.
Rule #1
Keep your hands off the stairclimber. For every 10 pounds
of weight you support on the
rails of a stair-climbing
machine, you burn 7 percent
fewer calories.
MAKE PUSHUPS
METABOLIC
Dopushupjacks.
Fromtheupposition,hop
yourlegsouttothesides—
likeajumpingjack—asyou
useyourarmstoloweryour
body.Thenjumpyourfeet
backtotheregularposition
whileyoupushup.Once
thosegettooeasy,dothe
same,butthistimejumpyour
armsoutaswell,asshown
here.
HOW TO BUILD
HAND STRENGTH
WITH THE SPORTS
PAGES
Spreadasheetofnewspaper
flatonatabletop.Placeyour
handinthecenterofthesheet
anddrawthepaperinwith
yourfingertipswithoutlifting
yourhandfromthetable.
Thensqueezetheballof
papertight.Twoorthree
sheetsadayisenoughto
buildapowerfulgrip.
PUNCH A SPEED
BAG
GoatitlikeMayweatherfor
anintensetotal-body
workout.
1. Put Up Your
Dukes
Closeyourfistasifyou’re
holdingahammer.You’llbe
hittingthebagwiththebutt
endofyourfists,wherethe
hammer’shandlewouldbe
stickingout.Raiseyourfists
toearlevel,knucklespointed
inward,elbowsaboveyour
chest.
2. Face the Bag
Placeyourfeetshoulder
widthapartandyourbody
squaretothebag,which
shouldbeatabouteyelevel.
Standontheballsofyourfeet
andtightenyourcorefor
stability.
3. Give It a Punch
Focusonthebag’shinge.
(Lookingatthebagwillmake
youdizzy.)Strikethebag
withyourfist.Thebagshould
hitthemountingplatform
threetimes—forward,back,
forward—beforeyoustrikeit
again.
4. Find Your
Rhythm
Onceyou’reabletostrikethe
bageffectively,closeyour
eyes.Practiceuntilyoufind
therhythm(1-2-3,1-2-3,1-23).Ifyoulistenratherthan
look,you’remorelikelyto
masterit.Nowmixthingsup
—hitthebagtwicewitheach
hand,thenthreetimes,then
onceagain.Thiswill
challengeyourcoordination
andworkyourupperbody
harder.
MAKE YOUR OWN
MEDICINE BALL
Turnanoldbasketballinto
anawesomepieceofworkout
gear.
Step 1
Useapairofneedle-nose
plierstoremovetherubber
plugfromthebasketball.Set
theplugaside.
Step 2
Insertafunnelwithatip
smallenoughtofitintothe
airhole.Filltheballentirely
withfine-grainplaysand.A
50-poundbagwillmakethree
medicineballs.
Step 3
Brushrubbercementinand
aroundtherimoftheairhole.
Immediatelyplugthehole
withtherubberstopper,using
theneedle-noseplierstopush
inthestopperifneeded.
Step 4
Brushmorerubbercement
overthestopper.Allowitto
dry.
BARBELLS FOR
BRAINS
Strengthtrainingfor60
minutesthreetimesaweek
for6monthscanhelp
improveshort-andlong-term
memoryperformanceand
attentionasyouage,
accordingtoaBrazilianstudy
publishedinMedicine&
ScienceinSports&Exercise.
Theneedtofocuson
techniquewhendoing
differentliftsprovidesa
cognitivechallengeyoumay
notgetwhiledoinga
repetitiveexerciselike
running,saysGarySmall,
MD,directoroftheUCLA
longevitycenterandcoauthor
ofTheAlzheimer’s
PreventionProgram.
Rule #2
Between sets, take 20 to 30
seconds to stretch the muscle
you just worked. Boston
researchers found that men
who did this increased their
strength by 20 percent.
HIDE VALUABLES
FROM GYM RATS
Thwartlockerroomthieves
bymakingasimplesafe.Find
atennisballanduseabox
cutterorutilityknifetocuta
2-inchslitintotheball.
Squeezetheballtoopenthe
slitandtheninsertanysmall
valuables,suchasawatch,a
ring,orcash.Stashtheball
insideyourgymbag.
ESCAPE A
BOTCHED BENCH
PRESS
Youwentwithoutaspotter
andyoucan’tfinishthatlast
rep?TrainerBillHartman,
PT,CSCS,hasyourexitplan.
1. Ifyouinsistongoingsolo
atthebench,removethe
collarsfromthebar.The
riskofhavingtorerack
thebariftheweightsslip
iseclipsedbythe
potentialbenefitofsaving
yourribcagewhenyour
musclesgiveout.
2. Ifyoudofindyourself
failing,useyour
remainingstrengthto
carefullylowerthebarto
yourchest—butdon’tlet
itrestthere,orelseyou
mayinjureyourribs.
Keepasmuchupward
pressuregoingasyoucan
soyouaren’tcrushed.
3. Inchyourdominanthand
towardtheendofthe
barbellsothattheweight
graduallyslidesoffthe
oppositeend.
4. Astheonesideofthebar
dumpstheweight,the
unevenlyweightedbar
willquicklymakethe
weightsontheotherside
dumpoffaswell.Keepa
firmgrasponthebarsoit
doesn’trocketskyward.
5. Pushtheemptybartothe
rackandbreatheasighof
relief.
6. Nexttimeyouapproach
thebench,askfora
spotter!
Rule #3
If you have to skip a workout,
do this for 10 minutes: 30
seconds on and 30 seconds
off of pushups, jumping jacks,
squats, hip thrusts, and
lunges. That’s enough to
spark some sweat and keep
you honest. Skipping just one
workout can raise your odds
of missing another the
following week by 61 percent,
according to UK researchers.
AMAZING FEAT OF
FITNESS THE
HUMAN FLAG
Pregame:Firstbecomef...
ingstrong.Thismoveisthe
ultimatetestofupper-body
strength,corestability,and
total-bodymusclecontrol.
1. Find a vertical pole.It
shouldbesturdyenough
toholdyourbodyweight
butthinenoughtograsp
securely.
2. Set your grip.Grabit
towardthebottomwith
yournondominanthand
usinganunderhandgrip,
andhigherupwithyour
dominanthandusingan
overhandgrip.
3. Lock and load.Lock
yourbottomelbow,
leaningyourbodyaway
fromthepole.Presshard
withyourbottomarm,
squeezetightlywithyour
toparm,andliftyourlegs
upwithyourkneesbent.
4. Finish strong.Contract
yourcoreandextendone
legatatime.
THE NO-HASSLE,
FAST-MUSCLE
WORKOUT
A PAIR OF DUMBBELLS AND A
BENCH ARE ALL YOU NEED TO
DROP UNWANTED FAT AND ADD
EYE-CATCHING SIZE.
Thebiggestobstaclebetween
youandthebodyyouwant
mightcomefroman
unexpectedsource:yourgym,
saysCraigBallantyne,CSCS.
That’sbecausecrowdscan
slowyourworkout—andyour
results.Afterall,every
secondyouspendwaitingfor
thechinupbar,cablestation,
orsquatrackislesstimeyou
haveforworkingyour
musclesorboostingyour
calorieburn.
Don’twasteanother
minuteinthegym.Thisfatburning,muscle-building
workoutdesignedby
Ballantynerequiresonlya
singlesetofdumbbellsand
anadjustablebench.The
orderinwhichyouperform
theexercises—alongwiththe
numberofrepsforeach—
allowsthesamepairof
dumbbellstochallengeeach
muscleequally.Theupshot:
There’sneverbeenasimpler
waytochiselabetterbody.
Directions
Performeachworkout(A,B,
andC)onceaweek,restingat
leastadaybetweensessions.
Withineachworkout,
alternatesetsbetween
exercisesofthesamenumber
(1Aand1B,forexample)
untilyoucompleteallsetsin
thatpairing.(Inotherwords,
followasetofthefirst
exercisewithasetofthe
secondexercise.)Rest1
minutebetween1Aand1B,
butperformexercises2Aand
2Bback-to-back,withno
rest.
Afteryou’vedoneasetof
eachexercisepair,restfor1
minuteandthenrepeatthe
cycleuntilyou’vecompleted
alltheprescribedsets.
Workout A
1A: Dumbbell
Chest Press
3 SETS OF 8 REPS
Lie on your back on a flat bench and
hold a pair of dumbbells above your
chest with your arms straight. Lower
the dumbbells to the sides of your
chest, pause, and then push them
back up to the starting position.
1B: Dumbbell BentOver Row
3 SETS OF 12 REPS
With a dumbbell in your right hand,
place your left hand and left knee on
a flat bench. Keep your back flat
and let your right arm hang straight
down, with your palm facing in. Pull
your arm up to the side of your
chest by bending your elbow. Pause
and return to the starting position.
Do 12 reps with each arm.
2A: Dumbbell
Incline Press
2 SETS OF 5 REPS
Lie on a bench with the backrest set
at a 45-degree incline. Hold a pair of
dumbbells above your chest with
your arms straight and your palms
turned toward your feet. Lower the
dumbbells to chest level and then
press them above your chest, back
to the starting position.
2B: Dumbbell
Squat
2 SETS OF 15 REPS
Holding a pair of dumbbells at your
sides, stand with your feet just
beyond shoulder width apart. Push
your hips back and squat as deeply
as possible, keeping your lower
back naturally arched. Push back up
to the starting position without
rounding your back. Your upper legs
should be at least parallel to the
floor, or even lower.
Workout B
1A: Dumbbell Split
Squat
3 SETS OF 8 REPS
Hold dumbbells at your sides and
stand with your right foot forward
and your left foot back. Lower your
body until your front knee is bent 90
degrees and your rear knee nearly
touches the floor. Return to the
starting position. Do 8 reps, switch
legs, and repeat. That’s 1 set.
1B: Single-Arm
Standing Shoulder
Press
3 SETS OF 12 REPS
Stand holding a dumbbell at eye
level with your arm bent, palm
forward, and your other hand on
your hip. Press the dumbbell
straight overhead and then lower it
to the starting position. Do 12 reps
on one side and repeat with your
other arm. That’s 1 set. Lower the
dumbbells to around ear level to
avoid shoulder stress.
2A: Dumbbell
Romanian Deadlift
2 SETS OF 10 REPS
Hold a dumbbell in each hand in
front of your thighs, palms facing
your body. With your knees slightly
bent and feet shoulder width apart,
bend at your hips and lower your
torso until it’s nearly parallel to the
floor, without rounding your back.
Pause and then rise to the starting
position.
2B: Dumbbell
Swing
2 SETS OF 20 REPS
With your feet shoulder width apart,
hold a dumbbell’s handle with both
hands. Extend your arms in front of
your chest. Next, slightly bend your
knees and swing the dumbbell
between your legs. Bring the
dumbbell back up to chest level as
you rise. That’s 1 rep. Keeping your
arms straight adds more work to
your shoulders.
Workout C
1A: Dumbbell StepUp
3 SETS OF 8 REPS
With a dumbbell in each hand,
stand facing a bench. Place one
foot on the bench and lift your body
up to the standing position without
letting your opposite foot touch the
bench. Lower your body slowly and
repeat. Complete 8 reps, switch
legs, and repeat. That’s 1 set. Avoid
touching the bench, to keep all the
tension on your working leg.
1B: ChestSupported Incline
Row
3 SETS OF 12 REPS
Grab a pair of dumbbells and lie
chest down on a 45-degree incline
bench. Let your arms hang straight
down, palms facing each other. Row
the dumbbells to the sides of your
chest by bending your elbows and
squeezing your shoulder blades.
Pause and lower the weights.
2A: Dumbbell Curl
2 SETS OF 10 REPS
Grab a pair of dumbbells with an
underhand grip and hold them at
arm’s length next to your thighs.
Curl the dumbbells toward your
chest as far as you can without
moving your upper arms. Pause,
and slowly lower the weights to the
starting position.
2B: Lying
Dumbbell Triceps
Extension
2 SETS OF 12 REPS
Lie faceup on a bench, holding a
pair of dumbbells with your arms
extended above your chest, palms
facing each other. Without moving
your upper arms, bend your elbows
and move the weights toward your
ears until your forearms are past
parallel to the floor. Straighten your
arms back to the starting position
and repeat.
END BACK PAIN
Foreverysetofabdominal
exercisesyoudo,performa
setoflower-backexercisesto
ensurebalancedmuscleand
improveposture.The
Supermanisagreatlowerbackexerciseyoucando
anywhere:Liefacedownon
thefloorwithyourarmsand
legsextendedasifyouwere
flyingoverMetropolis.Now
raiseyourhandsandlegsso
thatonlyyourhipsremainin
contactwiththefloor.Hold
forafewseconds,lower,and
repeatfor10reps.
Rule #4
Doing 31 minutes of
resistance training will keep
your metabolism elevated for
38 hours, according to a
University of Wisconsin at La
Crosse study.
BUILD BIGGER
BICEPS
• Toworkyourbiceps
harder,bendyourwrist
backwardslightly—and
holditthatway—while
doingdumbbellcurls.
•
Yourarmswilllook
biggerifyoualsowork
yourtriceps.Dipsblast
thembest.
MUSCLE IN A BAG
Theshiftingsandinsidea
sandbagmakesthismuscle
toolhardertobalanceand
slingaround.That’sagood
thing,becauseitforcesyour
musclestoworktogether,
triggeringfasterall-around
growth,saysJoshHenkin,
CSCS,inventorofthe
UltimateSandbagTraining
System.Youcanbuyagreat
sandbagfromHenkinor
makeoneyourself.Here’sa
circuitthat’llkicksandin
yourface.
Performthefollowing
exercisesasacircuit,doing
asmanyrepsofeachasyou
canin30secondsbefore
movingontothenextone
(usea30-to70-poundbag).
Rest30secondsbetween
moves.Dothecircuitthree
times...ifyoucanhackit!
1. Side Lunge and
Snatch
Hold a sandbag in front of your
thighs. Lunge to your left, touching
the sandbag to the floor. Quickly
stand up, flipping the bag onto your
forearms as you press it overhead.
Return to standing and then lunge
to your right. Continue alternating
sides. “Keep your weight over your
heel,” says Henkin. “That will force
your hamstring and glute to activate,
so you’ll lift from your hips instead of
your back.”
2. Pushup with
Sandbag Drag
Place a sandbag on the floor and
assume a pushup position so the
bag is to your right. Grab the bag
with your left hand and drag it
underneath your chest to your left
side. Do a pushup. Now drag the
bag back to your right side with your
right hand. Do another pushup.
Continue alternating sides. “Brace
your core to avoid rotating your
body as you drag the bag,” says
Henkin.
3. Rotational
Reverse Lunge and
Balance
Hold a sandbag in front of your
thighs. Step back with your right foot
and swing the bag to the outside of
your left thigh. Stand up, raising
your right knee as you flip the bag
over your forearms to catch it at
chest level. Pause and return to the
starting position. Repeat, switching
legs halfway through the set. “To
increase difficulty, go into your next
lunge without pausing,” says
Henkin.
4. Single-Leg Row
Holding a sandbag at arm’s length,
raise your right leg behind you as
you lower your torso until it’s nearly
parallel to the floor. Pull the bag to
your chest, pause, and then slowly
lower it. Switch legs after 15
seconds. “It’s harder to hold on to a
sandbag than a dumbbell or a
barbell,” says Henkin, “so you’ll
work the muscles in your forearms
in addition to those in your back.”
DIY Sandbag
Don’twanttodrop$100or
moreonacommercial
sandbag?Here’showtomake
onefor$50orless.
WHATYOU’LLNEED
100 pounds of play sand
(available at most hardware
stores)
4 large garbage bags
Duct tape
2 sturdy duffel bags (canvas or
military)
Put It All Together
1. Pour 30 pounds of sand into the
first garbage bag (use a
bathroom scale to weigh it) and
seal the top with duct tape,
leaving enough room for the
sand to move around.
2. Place the first garbage bag in a
second one and seal them both
with duct tape.
3. Place the double-bagged sand
inside a duffel and zip it shut;
you can duct-tape the zipper for
added security.
4. Repeat the process to make a
70-pound sandbag.
5. Grab the ends of the bag to
perform the exercises.
WEIGHT LOSS
MADE SIMPLE
+DOTHIS:
Go for a brisk 20-minute walk.
Stand during three 10-minute phone
calls.
Play vigorously with your kids or pet
for 15 minutes.
Spend 15 minutes washing dishes.
Take 10 minutes to straighten up
one room.
—NOTTHIS:
Sit for your entire lunch hour.
Put your feet up on your desk.
Watch TV before dinner.
Head straight to the couch.
Go straight to bed.
=EQUALS
49 extra calories burned.
33 extra calories burned.
82 extra calories burned.
27 extra calories burned.
21 extra calories burned.
212TOTALEXTRA
CALORIESBURNED
METABOLISMBOOST:
ABOUT10PERCENT
TURN A TOWEL
INTO A BARBELL
THE KEY TO A MORE RIGOROUS
TOTAL-BODY CHALLENGE
COULD BE FOLDED UP IN YOUR
BATHROOM CLOSET, SAYS
MEN’S HEALTH TRAINING
ADVISOR BJ GADDOUR, CSCS.
1. The Move:
Pushup Hold
WHAT IT TARGETS: Chest and
back
WHY IT WORKS: It’s a
traditional pushup, but isolated
holds make it more challenging.
HOW TO DO IT:
1. Get down on all fours. Wrap the
towel around your upper back and
under your armpits, grabbing the
ends. Lie on your stomach.
2. Holding the ends of the towel,
assume the bottom of a pushup
position. Push up against the towel
as hard as you can, continuing to
breathe and tensing all your
muscles, for 4 seconds. Lower your
body, but not all the way down to
the floor, to rest briefly. Repeat the
move for a total of 30 to 60 seconds
without ever lowering your body
completely to the floor.
MAKE IT HARDER:
Narrow your feet in the pushup
position and perform the move on
one leg, switching sides at the
halfway mark.
2. The Move:
Seesaw Push-Pull
WHAT IT TARGETS: Shoulders,
chest, and arms
WHY IT WORKS: Moves your
arms through their full range of
motion.
HOW TO DO IT:
1. Hold the towel taut at your chest;
your arms should be shoulder width
apart and elbows bent 90 degrees.
Keep your hips and shoulders
square and your heels pressed into
the floor as you tighten your abs
and glutes.
2. Simultaneously push with your
left arm until it’s straight (like a chest
press) and draw back your right arm
until your right hand reaches your
armpit (like a row). Pause and hold
for 2 seconds. Then push with your
right arm and draw back with your
left. Alternate for 30 to 60 seconds
total.
MAKE IT HARDER:
Sink into a deep squat; then perform
the exercise. That way you’re better
able to engage your lower body.
3. The Move: Split
Squat and Biceps
Curl
WHAT IT TARGETS: Arms and
legs
WHY IT WORKS: Upper and
lower body work together.
HOW TO DO IT:
1. Assume a split stance, your right
leg forward with your right foot on
the middle of a towel. Grab the ends
of the towel and pull it taut.
2. Pull up on the towel ends as you
slowly lower your hips. When your
back knee is a few inches from the
floor, pause. Hold for 2 seconds,
keeping your legs tensed and your
weight on your front heel.
3. Reverse the move, now pulling
on the towel as you rise. Repeat the
move for 30 to 60 seconds total,
switching sides at the halfway mark.
MAKE IT HARDER:
Hold your squat continuously for 30
to 60 seconds. Repeat the exercise
until exhaustion.
PUT YOUR SPARE
TIRE TO WORK
ZachEven-Esh,ownerof
UndergroundStrengthin
Edison,NewJersey,and
JasonHartman,CSCS,a
strengthcoachwiththeUS
ArmySpecialForces,explain
howtobuildyourown
sprintingsled.
1 Find Recycled Rubber
Ask your mechanic for an old
pickup- truck tire. He’ll likely have
tread-bare rubber he’ll unload for
free. Buy nylon rope (15 feet) and
an eye bolt (big enough to run the
rope through) with a nut and
washer.
2 Make Room for Your
Anchor
In the center of the tire tread, drill a
hole that’s slightly smaller than the
bolt. Insert the eye bolt into the hole
from the outside of the tire; then
secure it from the tire’s interior,
using the washer and nut.
3 Rope Yourself into
Things
Run the rope through the eye bolt’s
hole and tie it with a bowline. Tie
another bowline (see page 41) at
the rope’s other end and wrap it
around your waist. Position the rope
tail behind you.
4 Turn Muscles into
Mush
Warm up with lunges and short
jogs. Then do five 30-yard, all-out
sprints, resting
1 minute between each. Afterward,
power walk 30 yards forward and
backward five times, resting a
minute after each round.
BONUS: Make a Tire That
Tires You
For a tougher tow, use a utility knife
to trim an inch or two off the entire
diameter of the upper sidewall to
widen the opening. Then set a 45-
pound weight plate inside the tire.
Commence grunting.
MASSAGE SORE
MUSCLES
Torelievepain,don’tjust
randomlypokeandrub;grab
yourballsandfollowalong.
1. Your lower back
aches from sitting.
Placeatennisballbetween
yourrightside(afewinches
aboveyourhip)andawall.
Shiftyourweighttoyourleft
legandbendyourrightknee.
Turnawayfromthewallso
theballrollstowardyour
spine.Turnback.Repeatfive
times.Movetheballaninch
lowerandrepeat.Onceyou
reachyourtailbone,work
yourleftside.
2. Your chest is
tight from weight
lifting.
Dothisafterashower,when
yourmusclesareloose:Place
atennisballbetweena
doorjambandyourchest,an
inchbelowyourcollarbone.
Rolltheballhorizontally
towardyoursternumand
backfivetimes.Droptheball
aninchandrepeatdownto
yourlowestrib.
3. Running gives
you foot twinges.
Whileseated,pressagolfball
intothepadofyourfootand
rollitsidetoside10times.
Gentlyrolltheballfromthe
centerofyourtoestothe
centerofyourheel,thento
therightandleftofthecenter
tendon;repeatfivetimes.
Turnyourfootin;rolltheball
fromyourbigtoetoyourheel
fivetimes.
HOW TO START A
FIRE
Incinerateyournutritional
indiscretionswiththese
activities(forahalfhour).
Vinyasa Yoga
135 Calories
= A baked potato
= An English muffin
= 27 Cheez-Its
= 3 Dove milk chocolate Promises
Brisk Walking
143 Calories
= 1 ounce of BBQ potato chips
= ½ cup of ice cream
= A Starbucks 16-ounce cappuccino
= A Budweiser 12-ounce bottle of
beer
Shooting Hoops
184 Calories
= 3 ounces of ham
= Red Lobster Cheddar Bay biscuit
= Keebler Sandies Pecan
Shortbread cookies
Downhill Skiing
245 Calories
= 10 baked onion rings
= 1 cup of chow mein noodles
= 1 fried chicken thigh
= 1 slice of yellow cake
Swimming
286 Calories
= 1 plain hot dog
= 1 McDonald's Grilled Ranch
Snack Wrap
= 1 small egg bagel
= 1 small Wendy’s vanilla Frosty
Cycling
327 Calories
= 1 slice of homemade pumpkin pie
= 1 cup of baked beans with beef
= 1 Pizza Hut slice from a large,
hand-tossed cheese pizza
Jogging
367 Calories
= a 10.6-ounce chocolate milkshake
= 1 small Burger King fries
= 6 to 8 cheese nachos
= 1 small Quiznos Chicken Caesar
salad
Circuit Weight
Training
477 Calories
= 2 pancakes with butter and syrup
= 1 Jamba Juice Blackberry Bliss
Power Smoothie
= 1 Ruby Tuesday Petit Sirloin
POUND THE
HEAVY BAG
Wanttopunchupyour
training?Learntoworkthe
bag.Here’syourtutorialfrom
JasonStrout,co-ownerof
ChurchStreetBoxingGymin
NewYorkCity,where
LennoxLewishassparred.
1. Fight in Your
Weight Class
If the bag wobbles from side to side
after you throw a punch, go with a
heavier bag. You’ll have a better
workout.
2. Adjust Your
Stance
Stand at arm’s length from the bag
with your feet shoulder width apart
for balance. If you’re right-handed,
place your left foot slightly in front of
your right so your left heel and right
toe are aligned. Stay on your toes
and keep your knees slightly bent—
that’s how you’ll spring into your
punches.
3. Throw a
Powerful Punch
Aim for the middle of the bag;
otherwise it’ll spin and you’ll risk
hurting your wrists. When you jab,
keep your shoulder, elbow, wrist,
and knuckles aligned. After the
punch, pull your arm back just as
quickly to boost your cardio
workout. Be sure to add crosses
and hooks. Work in small
combinations: jab-cross, jab-crosshook, jab-hook-cross. Keep the
routine basic, but focus on your
form.
4. Do More with
Less
Pound away for 10 minutes and
you’ll work up a sweat, but you’ll
also miss out on a more intense
workout: short, quick, powerful
punch combinations for 3-minute
rounds. Rest 30 seconds between
rounds; do five rounds total. For an
added workout, jump rope between
sets to keep your cardio up.
Bonus: Wrap your
hands for a
boxing workout
Avoid bloody knuckles with Ringside
Quick Boxing Hand Wraps
(ringside.com). You won’t have to
worry about a complicated gauzeand-tape technique. You can wear
them inside boxing gloves, like the
durable Title Gel Intense
Bag/Sparring Gloves shown above
(titleboxing.com).
INSTALL PULLUP
RINGS
THIS SETUP HAS A UNIQUE
ADVANTAGE OVER A PULLUP
BAR: BECAUSE YOUR HANDS
AREN’T IN A FIXED POSITION,
RINGS ALLOW FOR NATURAL,
PAIN-FREE MOVEMENT
THROUGHOUT THE EXERCISE.
PLUS, YOU CAN DO YOUR REPS
IN THE GREAT OUTDOORS.
WHATYOU’LLNEED
Two tow straps
Two full-strength carabiners
Two 4" lengths of PVC pipe (1½"
diameter)
Athletic tape
Two 12" chains
Find Sturdy
Support
Lookaroundthebackyardfor
atreewithathickbranchthat
cansafelysupportyourbody
weight.Thebranchdoesn’t
havetobeparalleltothe
ground,butitshouldclearthe
dirtbyabout15feet.
HOWTOMAKEIT
1. Flingthetowstrapsover
thebranchandthenwrap
themaroundthebranchas
neededsotheendsofthe
towstrapshangevenly.
Theyshouldstopabouta
foothigherthanyoucan
reach.
2. Hookacarabinerthrough
theendofeachtowstrap.
3. WrapthePVCpipesin
athletictape.Tomake
eachhandle,threada
chainthroughthepipe
andhooktheendsofthe
chainontothecarabiner.
4. Thehandlesshouldbeas
highasyoucanreach.If
they’retoohighortoo
low,readjustthenumber
oftimesyouloopthetow
strapsaroundthebranch.
BEST FOURLEGGED RUNNING
PARTNERS
LONG RUNS:
Weimaraners,
Goldendoodles, German
shorthaired pointers, Jack
Russell terriers
SHORT FAST RUNS:
Greyhounds, beagles,
golden and Labrador
retrievers
TRAIL RUNNING: Border
collies, Belgian
sheepdogs, Labrador
retrievers
Rule #5
Never wear a sponsored race
T-shirt emblazoned with the
squashed- together logos of
the sponsors unless you plan
to sweat in it.
Fact:
Laughing 100 times is the
psychological equivalent of
exercising on a rowing
machine for 10 minutes.
THE CANNON
BALL WORKOUT
SCULPT A STRONGER, LEANER,
MORE ATHLETIC BODY WITH
THIS BALLISTIC, FAT-FRYING,
OLD-SCHOOL MUSCLE TOOL—
THE KETTLEBELL.
Fifteenyearsago,veryfew
peopleoutsideeasternEurope
hadeverheardofkettlebells.
Todaytheseweightsarein
almosteverygymin
America,and“kettlebell
workouts”isthesixthmost
Googledexercisetermonthe
planet.Nowonder:
“Kettlebellsaremoreuserfriendlythanbarbellsor
dumbbells,”sayskettlebell
pioneerandStrongFirst.com
chairmanPavelTsatsouline.
“Youdon’tneedasmany
tohiteverymuscle,andthey
offerdistinctadvantagesfor
boostingmobilityandallaroundstrength.”Follow
theserulestogetthemostout
ofeveryrep.
TRAINING RULE 1:
Understand How
They Work
Unlikeabarbellordumbbell,
akettlebellhasaloadthat’s
offsetfromitshandle.“That
amplifiestheballisticforces
inquick,dynamic
movements,effectively
makingthekettlebellfeel
heavierthanitactuallyis,”
Tsatsoulinesays.Italso
placesgreaterdemandon
yourstabilizingmuscles,
core,andcoordination,
leadingtobigger(andmuch
faster)gains.
TRAINING RULE 2:
Know When to Use
Them
“Kettlebellsareidealfor
explosive,total-body
exercises,suchasswingsand
snatches,”saysTsatsouline.
They’realsogoodforthe
overheadpressbecauseyou
getagoodstretchatthe
bottomandaperfectlockout
atthetop.Asforthetriceps
extension,bicepscurl,and
othermovesthathitsmaller
musclegroups,akettlebell
alsoworksjustaswellasa
dumbbelldoes.
TRAINING RULE 3:
Focus on Your
Form
Akettlebell’soff-balance
designmakesgoodtechnique
evenmoreimportant.“Keep
yourwristsstraight,”
Tsatsoulinesays.Bending
yourwristsraisesyourriskof
strainanddoesn’tletyou
transferpoweraseffectively
betweenyourbodyandthe
bell.Also,keepyourweight
onyourheelsandyour
shoulderspulleddownand
back.“Thatincreasesyour
stabilityandallowsyouto
generatemorepower,”says
Tsatsouline.
ANATOMY OF A
KETTLEBELL
A.HANDLE:Themost
commonspottohold—
especiallyforballisticmoves
likeswingsandsnatches.
B.HORNS:Holdthese(the
sidesofthehandle)forgoblet
squatsandwhenthebellis
upsidedown.
C.BASE:Theheaviestpart
ofthebellandwherethe
massiscentered.
Rule #6
Every pound you lose feels
like 5 fewer pounds to your
knees.
POWER MOVES
TWO KETTLEBELL EXERCISES
EVERY MAN SHOULD MASTER
1. Kettlebell SingleArm Press
Akettlebellisbestforthis
movebecause“youcanstart
theliftlower,whichissafer
foryourshoulders,”Pavel
Tsatsoulinesays.“Atthetop
itpullsyourarmback
slightly,improvingmobility.”
Stand with your feet shoulder width
apart and hold a kettlebell in front of
your shoulder with your palm in,
elbow tucked, and the weight
resting on the top of your forearm.
Press it straight up, rotating your
arm so your palm faces forward. Do
equal reps on both arms.
2. Kettlebell Swing
Thisclassicmoveoffers
seriouspower-buildingand
six-packbenefits.You’llburn
about14caloriesaminute
(thesameasrunning6miles
anhour),sayUniversityof
Wisconsinresearchers.
Set a kettlebell on the floor, spread
your feet slightly beyond shoulder
width, and grab the handle. Hike the
bell between your legs and then
thrust your hips forward as you
swing it to chest level. Swing it back
between your legs. That’s 1 rep.
Continue swinging without stopping.
IMPROVE YOUR
RUNNING FORM
Lean Forward
Goodrunningformisaslight
forwardtilt—aboutthree
degrees,nottoofarforward,
nottoofarback.Allowyour
eyestoguideyoutothe
properlytiltedandaligned
neckandtorso.Letyourgaze
settleonthehorizon.Keep
yourchintuckedinsteadof
lettingitjutout.
Be on the Ball
Landingonyourheelsmeans
you’reoverstriding.Harvard
researchersfoundthat
forefootstrikershavefewer
injuriesthanheelstrikers.
Flickbackyourheelquickly
aftercontact;visualize
pawingthegroundwiththe
ballsofyourfeet.
Relax Your Arms
Runnersoftenholdtensionin
theirarmsandhands,which
sendsitintotheirshoulders.
Toavoidthis,runwithyour
thumbandfirsttwofingers
touchinglightlyasifholding
delicatepotatochipsthatyou
don’twanttobreak.
Swing Right
Whenrunning,yourarms
shouldswingbackand
forward,notacrossthe
midlineofyourbody.Ifthey
do,you’llrockfromsideto
side.Ifyoufeeltensionin
yourneckandshoulders,drop
yourarmsstraightandshake
themouttorelaxyour
muscles.
Rule #7
Whenever it’s practical, walk.
For every hour of brisk
walking, you add an hour to
your life.
MAKE A MUSCLE
CRAMP VANISH
STOP YOUR WINCING WITH THIS
SIMPLE TRICK FROM TOP
PHYSICAL THERAPIST BILL
HARTMAN, CSCS, PT.
Don’t Stretch
Crampsarecausedbyyour
musclescontracting
uncontrollably,andyour
naturalreactionwhena
crampsetsinistotryto
stretchyourwayoutofit.
Resisttheurgetoelongatethe
muscle.Stretchingonlyputs
yourmusclethroughmore
strain,whichcouldleadto
morepain.
Flex Instead
Leveragetheintelligent
approach:reciprocal
inhibition(RI).Thisisa
nervous-systemphenomenon
thatyoucanactivateyourself.
Whenyoucontractthe
muscleononesideofajoint
hardenough,theopposing
muscle—theonecramping,in
thiscase—willstopfiring,
easingthecramp.The
followingcrampsarethe
mostcommon.Thenexttime
onestrikes,putRIintoaction
withthesemoves.
CRAMP YOUR MOVE
Bottom of Lift your toes
your foot toward your
shin.
Calf
Bend your
ankle, bringing
your foot
toward your
shin.
Hamstring Sitting or
standing, fully
extend your
lower leg.
FINISH YOUR
FIRST MARATHON
IN AN UPRIGHT
POSITION
• Pickaflatcourse.The
bestmarathonsforfirsttimersareflatandscenic.
Doyourhomeworkat
www.runnersworld.com
•
Getsticky.Slather
Vaselineorsports
lubricantanywhereyou
mightchafe;underarms,
nipples,andinnerthighs
areourfavorites.
•
Climboverthewall.
Mile20iswheremost
runners“hitthewall”and
feelcompletephysical
andmentalexhaustion,
saysBuddCoates,afourtimequalifierforthe
OlympicMarathonTrials.
Putyourfamilythereso
you’llgetamentalboost.
•
Stayloose.Whenyou
runalongrace,youcan
inadvertentlybuild
tensioninyourshoulders,
arms,andfists,which
sapsenergy.Tokeepyour
fistsrelaxed,pretend
you’reholdingapotato
chipbetweenyourthumb
andindexfinger.And
don’tbreakit.
•
Weardisposable
clothing.It’softenchilly
intheearlymorningwait
beforethestartofthe
race.Tostaywarm,cut
thetoesoffapairoflong
tubesocksandpullthem
overyourarms.Aplastic
garbagebagwithhead
andarmholescutoutisa
greatwindandrain
breakertowearwhile
waitingforthegun.Both
arecheap,soyouwon’t
feelguiltyaboutchucking
themduringtherace.
•
Stopsidestitches.Ifyou
feelstabbingpaininyour
sidewhilerunning,
tightenyourabdomen,
sayourfriendsat
Runner’sWorld.Youcan
alsoruboutthepainwith
yourtwomiddlefingers
orexhaleforcefullywhen
thefootontheopposite
sideofthestitchhitsthe
ground.
MAKE THE
PERFECT
PREWORKOUT
PROTEIN SHAKE
Yourmusclesneedaprecise
balanceofnutrientstomake
themostofaworkout,says
AlanAragon,MS,a
nutritionistinThousand
Oaks,California,andaMen’s
Healthadvisor.
Build Your Base
Youwantenoughquality
proteintomaximizemuscle
proteinsynthesisand
minimizemusclebreakdown
duringaworkout.Youalso
needcarbsforenergyanda
littlefattohelpyouabsorb
nutrients.Startwith1½
scoopsofproteinpowder
(about30grams)and12
ouncesoffat-freemilk
insteadofwater.Thisyields
roughly240calories,40
gramsofprotein,16gramsof
carbs,and3gramsoffat.
Tossinsomefruitforflavor,
oratablespoonofpeanut
butteroralmondbutterfora
creamiershake.Thesewill
boostcalories,carbs,andfat,
butthey’regoodforyour
overalldiet.
Keep It Smooth
Buzztheconcoctionina
blender.Addiceifyoulike
yourshakesthicker.Ifyou’re
usingashakerbottle,prevent
clumpingbypouringabouta
cupofthemilkintothebottle
beforeaddingthepowder.
Shakeitupuntilthepowder
iswellincorporated,addthe
restofthemilk,andshake
againuntilsmooth.
Time It Right
Drinkyourshakewithinthe
hourpriortoyourworkout.
Thisisthebesttimetofuel
yourmusclesforhighintensitytraining.(Tocool
offafteraworkout,trythe
deliciousMusclePower
Shakerecipeabove.)
THE GRAPEFRUIT
DIET
InastudyintheJournalof
NutritionandMetabolism,
peoplewhodrankabout½
cupofunsweetenedwhite
grapefruitjuicebeforeevery
mealfor12weekslost13
poundsand2inchesofftheir
waists;theyalsoconsumed
upto30percentfewer
caloriesaday.
MUSCLE POWER
SHAKE
Downthisprotein-and
carbohydrate-richrecovery
shakeafteratoughworkout.
IttasteslikeaCreamsicle,but
withouttheaddedsugar.
BLEND THIS:
1 scoop vanilla protein powder
1 orange
¼ orange peel
1 tablespoon walnuts
2 tablespoons flaxseed meal
1 cup water
½ cup orange juice
3 ice cubes
Per serving: 399 calories, 32 g
protein, 14 g fat, 39 g carbs
Fact:
Arnold Schwarzenegger
sported a 57-inch chest during
his 1970s bodybuilding
heyday.
PUSH YOURSELF
TO NEW HEIGHTS
Thenexttimeyoudoan
overheadpress,don'tjust
standthere—giveyourselfa
push.Thepushpresscanhelp
youbuildseriouslower-body
power,accordingtoastudy
byBritishresearchers.When
participantsperformedthe
move,whichaddsapartial
squattotheoverheadpress,
theyexertedthesameamount
offorceintothegroundas
theydidduringabarbell
jumpsquat.Thetakeaway:
Byswappingyourregular
shoulderexerciseforthepush
press,youreceivethebenefits
oftwomovesforthepriceof
one.Just3to5setsof3to5
repsonceaweekwilldothe
trick.
Step 1
Hold dumbbells in front of your
shoulders; dip your knees.
Step 2
Push explosively with your legs and
press the weights up.
SEVEN STUPIDSIMPLE WAYS TO
EAT LESS
1. GRIN
YOURSELF THIN
Tomaintainahealthyweight,
dosomethingtomake
yourselfsmile.Scientistsin
Brazilsayserotonin,the
“happyhormone,”reduces
appetite,andraisedlevelsof
itmakeyoumorelikelyto
burnfat.
2. CRACK SOME
NUTS
InanEasternIllinois
Universitystudy,peoplewho
weregivenshelled(thatis,
naked)pistachiosate211
calories’worthwhilethose
whohadthein-shellvariety
(youcrack’emopen)
consumedonly125calories
inthesamesitting.
3. PUT A FORK IN
IT
Yournondominanthand,that
is.You’llbemoremindfulof
whatyou’reeatingandend
upconsumingless.(Using
chopsticksworks,too,
especiallyifyou’renota
pro.)Haveplentyofnapkins
onhand.
4. USE A CHEAT
PLATE
WiththePortionPlate
(theportionplate.com)yousee
partitionsformeat(aquarter
oftheplate),wholegrains
(anotherquarter),andfruits
andvegetables(halfthe
plate),alongwithpicturesof
foodsintheproperserving
sizestoguideyou.You’ll
alsofeelyounger.
5. ADD BISON TO
YOUR PROTEIN
HERD
Grillupa3-ouncebuffalo
steakeverynowandthen.It
hasonly148caloriesand4
gramsoffat.Plus,the26
gramsofleanproteininthat
bisonsteakcankeepyou
satisfiedenoughtodecline
dessert.
6. BE AN EARLY
BIRD
Laterisersnotonlyeatmore
calories(almost200moreat
dinnerandanother375after8
p.m.)butalsoeatmore
unhealthilythanthosewho
wakeuparound8a.m.,
accordingtoaNorthwestern
Universitystudy.
7. EAT WITH A
WOMAN
Menconsume37percentless
whentheyeatwithawifeor
girlfriendthanwhenthey
dineoutwiththeirbuddies,
accordingtoresearchersat
theStateUniversityofNew
YorkatBuffalo.
BEST MOVE FOR A
V-SHAPED TORSO
Thestandingbent-overrow
activatesmoremuscleacross
bothyourupperandlower
back,sayCanadianscientists.
Butyouhavetodoitrightor
riskaherniateddisk.Never
roundyourspine;instead,
keepthenaturalarchinyour
backwhenyoubendover.
Holddumbellswithaneutral
gripatarmslength.Raisethe
dumbbellstothesidesofyour
chest,pullingyourshoulder
bladesdownandtogetheras
youperformthemove.
Rule #8
Work opposing muscle groups
—your biceps and triceps, for
instance—back-to-back for a
faster workout. While one
muscle is working, the other is
resting.
SLIM IN SECONDS
1. Sit or stand as tall as you can.
2. Keep your head up and your
chest high.
3. Retract your shoulder blades as if
you’re holding a pencil between
them.
4. Contract your abs and obliques
as if they’re creating a corset
around your midsection.
Don’tCrunchto
LoseWeight
Why?Theexerciseis
inefficientasafat-burner.
Ittakes250,000crunches
—that’s100adayfor7
years—toburn1poundof
fat.
Rule #9
Barefoot running on soft
beach sand strengthens your
calves, arches, and Achilles
tendons and restores proper
mechanics to flat-footed
runners.
PULL OFF THE
PERFECT
SWIMMER’S FLIP
TURN
Conserveenergyandimprove
yourfreestylelaptimes.
A. Startyourflipjustatthe
endofthelanemarker,3
to4feetfromthewall,
forasmoothtransition.
B. Takeonelaststroke,suck
inabigbreath,andtuck
yourheadandyourarms
intoyourgut.Yourbutt
willcomeoutofthewater
slightly.
C. Bendyourknees,bring
themoveryourbutt,and
makecontactwiththe
wallwiththeballsofyour
feet.
D. Explodeoffthewall,
armsextendedtowardthe
otherendofthepool.Use
acorkscrewmotionto
poweryourselfoutofthe
turn.
31 DAYS TO A
FLAT GUT
1 WEEKEND
Eat eggs for breakfast. A study in
Nutrition Research found that
people who egg it up consume
fewer total calories the rest of the
day.
2 MONDAY
Stand up whenever you read or take
a phone call at work. (You can also
use a stand-up desk.) Standing
burns 1½ times more calories than
sitting does.
3 TUESDAY
Grab a pen. People who kept a food
log for at least 3 weeks lost 3½
pounds more than those who didn't,
a University of Arkansas study
found.
4 WEDNESDAY
Chew food slowly and completely:
You'll take in nearly 12 percent
fewer calories than if you scarf it.
5 THURSDAY
Don’t eat meals in front of the TV. In
a University of Massachusetts
study, people who did that took in
nearly 300 more calories a day.
6 FRIDAY
Weigh yourself each week. Three
out of four successful dieters do
this, the American College of Sports
Medicine Health & Fitness Journal
reports.
7/8 WEEKEND
Dog-sit for a neighbor. But don’t just
sit—take Brutus for a walk. You'll
burn 61 calories in 15 minutes.
(Better yet, make it an hour.)
9 MONDAY
Want to blow off today's workout?
Bad idea. Miss one now and you're
61 percent more likely to skip one
next week, says a study in Health
Psychology.
10 TUESDAY
At lunch, have an apple instead of
apple juice. Chewing triggers
satiety, so you'll likely consume
nearly 15 percent fewer calories,
notes the journal Appetite.
11 WEDNESDAY
Added sugars lead to added lard, so
cut them out. This week, drop the
sweetest offenders—soda, baked
goods, cereals, candy, fruit drinks,
and ice cream.
12 THURSDAY
Mix a shake: Consuming 55 grams
of whey protein a day for 23 weeks
can leave you 4 pounds lighter than
if you'd eaten those calories in
carbs, USDA scientists say.
13 FRIDAY
Open the fridge and put produce at
eye level. You’re 2.7 times more
likely to eat healthy food if it's in
your line of sight, say scientists at
Cornell University.
14/15 WEEKEND
Reward yourself with a great
Saturday night dinner, but don’t
make it an all-weekend feed, or you
may binge later, University of Texas
researchers warn.
16 MONDAY
Clean the house. People with the
most spic-and-span abodes have
the highest levels of physical
activity, research from Indiana
University reveals.
17 TUESDAY
If you think you're too busy to work
out, think again: An 11-minute
workout can help you burn more fat
all day, a Southern Illinois University
study found.
18 WEDNESDAY
Make pushups work harder for you.
Do an iso-explosive pushup: Hold
your body in the down position for 3
seconds and then push up
explosively.
19 THURSDAY
Don’t let the bread basket hit the
table. An Eastern Illinois University
study found people ate 85 percent
more bread when they were offered
seconds.
20 FRIDAY
Have some minty gum before your
workout. The peppermint scent
boosts sprinting speed and gym
strength, says the Journal of Sport
& Exercise Psychology.
21/22 WEEKEND
Eat beta-glucan for breakfast. This
oat fiber can help regulate appetite
for up to 4 hours, according to a
study in the Journal of Nutrition
Research.
23 MONDAY
Pee often. A study in the journal
Obesity found that people who
drank two 8.5-ounce glasses of
water before each meal lost an
extra 4.5 pounds in 12 weeks.
24 TUESDAY
During your workout, rest for no
more than 60 seconds between
exercises to keep your metabolismboosting hormones high for the
duration.
25 WEDNESDAY
Fill your plate from the stovetop.
You’ll likely eat up to 35 percent
less than if you shovel it from a
serving dish on the table, say
Cornell University researchers.
26 THURSDAY
Keep your treadmill set to a
minimum incline of 2 percent to
painlessly boost workout intensity.
Increase the incline further to burn
even more calories.
27 FRIDAY
Toss a half cup of chickpeas into
your next pot of winter soup. You’ll
tack 6 more grams of flab-fighting
fiber onto your bottom line.
28/29 WEEKEND
Walk to talk. Turn up your cell
phone ringer and leave the phone in
a far-off corner of the house to force
yourself to stand up and go to it
when it rings.
30 MONDAY
Drinking 2½ cups of fat-free milk in
the a.m. instead of the calorie
equivalent in juice can lower calorie
consumption by 8.5 percent, says
an Australian study.
31 TUESDAY
Cheers! Drink a 12-ounce Guinness
Draught instead of a Bud to save
about 20 calories and gain the same
antioxidants found in wine.
Rule #10
Work out in the morning if you
can. A British study found that
people who exercised at 6:45
a.m. pushed themselves
longer than people who
worked out at 6:45 p.m.
Stealth
Health
Beat Back Pain,
Fight Brain Drain,
Save Yourself from
Choking, and
Dozens of Other
Tips and LifeExtending Tricks
It’snogreatsecretthat
womenarealotbetterthan
menwhenitcomestoseeking
healthcare.Unlesshehasa
pieceofrebarstickingoutof
hisabdomenorareallybad
rashinareallyunfortunate
place,amanisunlikelyto
rushofftoseeaGPand
wouldratherDIYforfirstaid.Accordingtostatsfrom
theCentersforDisease
ControlandPrevention,men
are80percentlesslikelythan
womentogoforregular
doctorvisits.Gentlemen,we
candobetter,anditwouldn’t
takemuch.Ifonlydocs
wouldinvestinexamination
gownsthatcoveredyourass,
you’dbemuchmoreinclined
tovisitthem.Untilthen,
we’vepulledallthecrucial
medicalinformationyouneed
tostayrelativelyhealthyin
onehandychapter.Our
lawyersrequireustotellyou
thatthisadviceshouldnot
replacepropermedicalcare,
butseeingasyou’reunlikely
tovisityourdoctoranytime
soon,wefigurethisstuff
mightactuallycoveryourass
abitbetterthanthatgown.
13 SIMPLE HOME
HEALTH
REMEDIES
Don’twastetimerunningto
thedrugstorewhenyouhave
thesehandyfastfixes.
Athlete’s Foot
Sprinklebakingsodaonyour
feetandbetweenyourtoes,or
applyapastemadewith1
tablespoonofbakingsoda
andlukewarmwater.Wait15
minutes,thenrinseanddry
yourfeetthoroughly.
Burns on the Roof
of Your Mouth
Ifhotpizzascorchedtheroof
ofyourmouth,usean
overthe-countercough
lozengewithbenzocaineto
cutthepain.Ifyoudon’thave
any,tryusingsugar.
Canker Sores
Holdawetteabagonthese
sores;thetanninfromthetea
actsasanastringent.
Charley Horse
Archyourtoesbacktoward
yourbodywhilegently
rubbingyourcalf.Start
behindthekneeandslide
yourhanddownthemuscleto
theheel,thenrepeat.Rub
alongthelengthofthe
muscle,notacrossit.
Heartburn
Chewastickofsugarless
gum.Theincreasedsaliva
willhelpyourstomachacid
flow,anditwillalsocoatand
protecttheesophagus.
Hoarseness
Yourvocalcordsneedrest,
sodon’tspeak.Togetridof
thefroginyourthroattakea
5-minutehotshower,drink
warmherbalteawithaslice
oflemon,andavoidcaffeine,
smoke,alcohol,andlarge,
fattymeals.
Indigestion
Mixoneofthefollowing
itemsinaglassofwaterfor
anemergencyantacid:1
teaspoonofapplecider
vinegar(toincreasestomach
acidity)or½teaspoonof
bakingsoda(toease
bloating).Thentakeawalk.
Apostmealstrollcanhelp
youdigestyourfoodupto50
percentfaster.
Ingrown Toenail
Soakyourfootinwarmwater
tosoftenthenail.Thenrolla
smallpieceofcottontothe
thicknessofacandlewick,
soakitwithiodine,andplace
itbetweentheskinandthetip
ofyournail.Wrapthetoe
withgauze,tapeit,and
changethedressingdaily
untilthenailgrowsout.
Itchy Eyes
Probablyduetoallergies.A
coldwashclothheldover
closedeyeswillshrinkblood
vesselsandreduceredness.
Nosebleed
Situpsothatgravitywill
lowertheveinpressureinside
yournose.Tiltyourhead
forwardslightlytokeep
bloodfromrunningdown
yourthroat.
Rashes
Rubapasteofcrushed
vitaminCtabletsandwater
onyourskin.
Sore Feet
Pourahandfulofuncooked
beansintoyourslippersand
walkaroundforafew
minutes.Therollingbeans
createaninstantmassage.
Thenholdyourfeetunderthe
bathtubfaucet;runthewater
onhot1minute,coldthe
next.Alternatefor10
minutes,endinginacold
rinse.Topreventfuturepain,
spreadmarblesonthefloor
andpickthemupwithyour
toes.
Sunburn
Takeanoatmealbath.Wrapa
cupofoatsincheeseclothand
hangitfromyourfaucetso
thatthebathwaterruns
directlyoveritasthetubis
filling.Nooneknowsexactly
howtheoatmealworksto
soothethepain,butyouwill
feelbetter.
4SimpleStepsto
WeightControl
•
Alwaysbeawareof
yourweight.
•
•
Neverskipmeals.
•
Neverletyourself
becomeravenously
hungry.
Indulge(sensibly)in
whatyoulike.
Rule #1
Avoid kidney stones if you
never want to experience pain
on par with childbirth. How?
Drink at least eight glasses of
water a day, limit your salt
consumption, and drink plenty
of fat-free milk for the calcium
that binds with the stonecausing minerals and ushers
them out of the body.
4 HEALTH
MISTAKES YOU
MAKE DAILY
You Brush after
Breakfast.Acidicfoodslike
fruitandjuicecanweaken
enamel.Brushingaftereating
thesefoodsmayleadto
discoloration,cracks,and
chips.Instead,swishwith
waterandwait40minutesfor
thecalciuminyoursalivato
demineralizeweakenedareas
ofyourteeth.Thenbrush.
You Microwave Your
Lunch in Plastic.Evenif
theplasticisBPA-free,
phthalatescanleachintoyour
food,potentiallyaltering
hormones.Instead,transfer
foodtoglassbeforenukingit.
You Drive Home after
Happy Hour.Peoplewitha
bloodalcoholconcentration
of.01percent—wellbelow
the.08legallimit—are46
percentmorelikelytocausea
crashthandriverswhoare
totallysober,accordingtoa
UCSanDiegostudy.Cut
yourBACby30percentby
eatingbeforedrinking.
You Check Your Work EMail before Bed.Managers
whousetheirsmartphonefor
workafter9p.m.wakeup
groggy,aUniversityof
FloridaStudyfound.Other
studiessuggesttoolittlesleep
canraiseyouroddsofdying
ofstroke.Powerdownby9
p.m.andturnoffe-mail
notifications.
60:
Percentageyoursperm
countmayincreaseifyou
replacetwoservingsof
processedredmeateach
weekwithfish.Seafood’s
highomega-3contentand
absenceofgrowth
hormonesmayhelpyour
spermthrive.
Source:JournalofNutrition
THE NO-BLOW
WAY TO CLEAR A
STUFFY NOSE
Blowingyournosehard
seemslikethemanlythingto
do,butit’sstupid,becauseit
canforcemucusandgerms
deeperintoyoursinuses.Do
thisinstead:
•
Apply wasabi.Add
anythingspicytoyour
foodtoblastopennasal
passages.
•
Steam clean.Takea
long,hotshowerorapply
awarmwashclothtoyour
forehead,nose,and
cheeks.
•
Lube up.Spritzsome
salinesprayupyournose
tokeepmucous
membranesmoist.
•
Just breathe.Don’t
blow;exhalegently
throughyournoseintoa
tissue.
SootheaSmashed
Thumb
Nexttimeyoumistake
yourthumbforathreepennynail,squeezeit.Lift
theappendageabovethe
levelofyourheartand
squeezethetipforupto5
minutestoreduceswelling,
bruising,bleeding,and
pain.Iceitafterward.
THE WORST
THINGS YOU CAN
PUT IN YOUR
MOUTH
Chewing tobacco.Natch.
Pens and pencils.
Chewingonthemcausestiny
stressfracturesinteeth.
A Red Savina habanero
chile pepper.It’sthe
world’shottestpepper,rated
at500,000unitsonthe
Scovilleheatscale.Jalapeños
bycomparisontopoutatonly
5,000.
Ice.Iceiscrystal;soistooth
enamel.Chewiceandtheice
usuallywins.
A frozen margarita.Take
twokindsofalcohol,adda
lotofsugarandsalt,and
freezethemixture,andyou
haveatastydrinkthat’sbad
foryourliver,heart,arteries,
bloodsugar,bloodpressure,
energylevel,anddigestion.
Bottomsup!
Nails.You’reonaroof
replacingsomeshinglesand
youcasuallyputtwonailsin
yourmouth...andthenyou
slip.ERdocsweknowsay
they’veseenpunctured
tongues,cheeks,evenlungs.
Cooked food from street
vendors.Significant
undercookingandcoolingof
hamburgers,chickendishes,
andbeefkabobsraisesthe
riskoffoodpoisoning.
Toothpicks.Rooting
aroundyourmouthwitha
toothpickcanseverorloosen
theligamentsthatattachteeth
tobone.
Fact:
Theaverageguytakesonly
6secondstowashhis
hands,whichis14seconds
shortofwhattheCDC
recommends.
HOW TO
OBLITERATE A
BAD MOOD
Force a smilewhenyou’re
stressed.Evenfakesmiles
reducestress,aUniversityof
Kansasstudyfound.
Take a strollwhenyou’re
bummedout.Astudyinthe
journalEnvironmental
ScienceandTechnology
reportsthatyoucanimprove
yourmoodwithjust5
minutesofexerciseoutdoors
innature.
Crank up Mozartwhen
you’repissedoff.Scientists
inGermanyfoundthatpeople
wholistenedtoclassical
musicbeforeexperiencing
conflictshowedless
aggressionandreportedlower
levelsofresidualanger.
Peoplewholistenedto
aggressivetunes,say,
Mastodon’s“The
Motherlode,”feltlike
punchingsomeoneout.
HaveaColdOne
Ahotshowermayfeel
good,butacoldonerevs
upyourbody.German
researchersfoundthatcold
bathsincreaseddisease-
fightingwhitebloodcells,
improvedcirculation,and
boostedtestosteroneforthe
Spartanswhotookthem
regularly.
PURR-FECT YOUR
POSTURE
Stretchlikeacatfor30to60
secondswhenyourolloutof
bedeachmorning.It’slike
hittingaresetbuttononyour
body.Getonallfoursonthe
floorandcurlyourback
towardtheceilinglikea
frightenedcat.Holdfor10
seconds,thenbendinthe
oppositedirection,lowering
yourbellybuttontowardthe
floor.Catlikestretchingfirst
thinginthemorning
improvesposture,promotes
bloodflow,andrelievesbody
tension,accordingtothe
MayoClinic.Andbetter
postureisaninstantage
eraser.
CheckYourPillow
Agoodpillowsupports
yourheadandneckasyou
moveduringthenight.
Foldyourpillowinhalf;if
itdoesn’treturntoits
originalshapewhenyou
releaseit,goshopping.
10 WAYS TO
GROW GRAY
MATTER
Brainresearchersnametheir
topexercisesforintelligence:
1.Takingdanceclasses
2.Doingyoga/meditating
3.Learningamusical
instrument
4.Reading
5.Studyingaforeign
language
6.Playingchess
7.Juggling
8.Takingadvancedcourses
9.Learningcomplexskills
10.Cognitivetraininggames
Fact:
Onaverage,aman’sheart
beats100,800timesaday.
RELIEVE A BLOW
TO THE GROIN
OnJackassitwasconsidered
funny.Inreallife,however,a
bashtotheballscanbemore
thanwind-suckingpainful;it
canleadtothelossofa
testicle.Knockedinthenuts?
Dothis:
1. Putyourjewelsoniceto
reduceswellingandpain.
2. Makeatesticlecradle.
TakearolledupT-shirt
andputitunderneaththe
testicleswithoneendof
therollrestingoneach
thightosupportthe
scrotum.
3. TakeTylenolforpain
relief.Avoidaspirin,
whichpromotesbleeding.
4. Ifyouareswollenand
blackandblue,gotoan
ERandaskforthe
urologistoncall.
WhatDoesaD.O.
Do?
SamethingasanMD,
mostly.Doctorsof
osteopathicmedicinehave
thesameeducationandare
licensedinallstates.Many
DO’smaystillhavemore
holistictreatment
philosophiesthanoldschooldoctors,andsome
maybebetterversedin
preventivemedicine.
HOW BEER
MAKES YOU FAT
1. Youtakeaswig.
2. Withinseconds,the
beveragepassesthrough
youresophagusandinto
yourstomach.
3. Twentypercentofthe
alcoholisabsorbedfrom
yourstomachintoyour
bloodstream;therestis
absorbedfromyour
intestines.
4. Thealcoholtravels
throughyourbloodto
yourliver,whereit’s
brokendown.Duringthis
process,wasteproducts
calledacetateand
acetaldehydearecreated.
5. Acetateandacetaldehyde
signalyourbodytostop
burningfat.Atthesame
time,yourbodystarts
makingfatfromanother
wasteproductofalcohol,
acetylCoA.
6. Yourbodycaneffectively
processonly0.5to1
ounceofalcoholperhour.
Sothemoreyoudrink,
thelongeryourbodyis
inhibitedfromburning
fat.Andthemorefat
buildsupfromtheexcess
acetylCoA.(A12-ounce
beercontainsabout0.6
ounceofalcohol.)
7. Sorrytobumyouout.
Fact:
Particlesexpelledduringa
sneezecantravelupto
103.6milesperhour.
CLEAR GRIT
FROM YOUR EYE
Ifyourtearswon’tflushthe
speckfromyoureye,sweep
outthegrimewithyour
eyelid.Pullyourtopliddown
overthelowerone;thelower
lasheswillactasabroom,
sweepingthespeckoutfrom
undertheuppereyelid.A
gentlestreamofwaterfroma
waterbottlemaywork,too.
TakeaKnee
Studiesshowthatpeople
whoattendchurch
regularlylive3years
longeronaveragethan
heathensdo.
GO MOLE
HUNTING
Themoremolesyouhave,
thehigheryourmelanoma
risk.Areyougettingyearly
skinscreeningswitha
dermatologist?Didn’tthink
so.Well,bookit,Dano.And
inbetweenscreenings,snap
photosofyourmolesandlog
theminanapp,like
UMSkinCheck,thatsorts
themfromheadtotoe.“A
newmolethatkeepsgrowing
andcomestolookdifferent
fromtherestshouldbeshown
toadoctor,”saysJuliaA.
Newton-Bishop,MD,a
professorofdermatologyat
theLeedsInstituteofCancer
andPathologyintheUK.
Fact:
Doctorscannowgrowskin
forburnvictimsusingthe
foreskinsofcircumcised
infants.Oneforeskincan
produce23,000square
meters,whichwouldbe
enoughtotarpeveryMajor
Leagueinfieldwithhuman
flesh.
Rule #2
The best way to prevent back
pain is to strengthen your
core. Seventy-five percent of
all lower-back problems can
be prevented by building your
abdominal muscles.
PUMP UP YOUR
PENIS
Moveyourhipsaroundasif
youwereusingaHula-Hoop.
Seriously.Dothisforafew
minuteseachdayandyou’ll
increaseflexibilityinyour
pelvisandimprove
circulationinthewhole
region,whichiskeytofirm
erections.Ukeleleandgrass
skirtoptional.
TheEarlobeHeart
Test
Studieshaveshownthat
deepverticalcreases
runningdownthemiddle
oftheearlobeindicatea
tendencytowardheart
disease.
10BestFoodsforYour
Heart
1.Nuts
2.Fish
3.Oats
4.Avocados
5.Blackbeans
6.Flaxseed
7.Greentea
8.Watermelon
9.Spinach
10.Redwine
WHY SCRATCHING
FEELS SO GOOD
UncommonKnowledge:
ThereisactuallyaCenterfor
theStudyofItchat
WashingtonUniversityinSt.
Louis.Thedirectorofthe
center,Zhou-FengChen,
PhD,tellsusscratchinghurts
sogoodbecause“itmay
activateyourrewardsystem.”
Painmayalsoplayarole:If
scratchinghurtsyourskin,the
paincanhelpquelltheitch
becausethetwosensations
arecompeting.The
downside:Toomuchclawing
cancauseinjury.Ifthat’s
you,firmlyrubtheareawith
achilledcottonT-shirt
instead.
THE WHEEL OF
MISERY
Hurtin’buckaroo?Beforeyou
startwhining,checkoutthis
ouchrankingfromPaul
Christo,MD,apainmedicine
specialistatJohnsHopkins:
Fact:
Sudden,sharppaininthe
ballscouldbetesticular
torsion,wherethetesticle
twistsandcutsoffblood
supply.Ifnottreated
quickly,itcouldresultin
thelossofatesticle.
TRAIN YOUR
BRAIN
Fromthefollowingletter
sequencesseehowmany
wordsofthreeormoreletters
youcanformin3minutes.
Yourgoalis18forAand20
forB,saysGarySmall,MD.
Thebenefit:You’retraining
yourbraintosiftquickly
throughinformation.
(A)AELSK
(B)TREIOA
Rule #3
When you need to remember
something important, turn it
into a story. A narrative is
easier to remember than
disconnected facts.
HICCUP TRICKS
Hiccupsarespasmsofthe
diaphragm,themuscle
separatingthechestandthe
abdominalcavities.Asfaras
sciencecantell,theyare
perfectlyuseless,butmostof
usbegantohiccupinthe
wombandcontinuetodoso,
usuallyatinopportunetimes,
throughoutlife.Nexttime
you’reafflictedwithhiccups
justasyou’recalledonto
summarizeyourcorporation’s
5-yearplan,trysomeofthese
curesofferedbytheJournal
ofClinicalGastroenterology.
•
Yankforcefullyonthe
tongue.
•
Lifttheuvula(thelittle
boxingbagatthebackof
yourmouth)witha
spoon.
•
Tickletheroofofyour
mouthwithacottonswab
backatthepointwhere
thehardandsoftpalates
meet.
•
Chewandswallowdry
bread.
•
•
•
Garglewithwater.
Holdyourbreath.
Compressthechestby
pullingthekneesupor
leaningforward.
•
Bendoveranddrink
waterupsidedown.
STEAK STUCK?
GIVE YOURSELF
THE HEIMLICH
Chokingonapieceof
porterhouseisacruelwayfor
amantodie,especiallyif
he’savegetarian.Butit’sthe
sortofthingthathappens
2,000timesayearintheUS.
Ifsomethingbecomeslodged
inyourwindpipe,don’twait
aroundforawaitertonotice
you’returningblue.Give
yourselftheHeimlich
maneuver.Clenchafistand
placethethumbsideagainst
yourupperabdomen,just
belowyourribcage.Grasp
thefistwithyourotherhand
andthrustinwardandupward
afewtimes.Ifthatdoesn’t
work,leanforwardoverthe
backofachairorsideofa
table,pressingitintoyour
upperabdomen.Push
yourselfquicklydownward,
forcingairoutofyourlungs.
Repeatuntilyou’reshooting
steakbulletsacrossthetable.
Fact:
Smokingcanshortenyour
penisbyuptoacentimeter.
Lightingupcalcifiesblood
vessels,stiflingerectile
circulation.
BEAT BAD
SPONGE BUGS
Spongesarehometomillions
ofbacteria;cleaningyour
kitchenwiththemoftendoes
moreharmthangood.Keepa
stackofcleanragsortowels
onhandforcookingand
cleanup.Onceaweek,soak
spongesovernightinacupof
watermixedwithafew
spoonfulsofbleach.
TheRestofUsAre
Conducting
PenicillinResearch
Only50percentof
Americanscleanouttheir
refrigeratorsonceamonth,
and70percentkeephome
refrigeratortemperaturesat
therecommended40˚For
lower,accordingtoa
USDAsurvey.
WHEN TO TOSS IT
Vitamins—3 years.If
there’snoexpirationdate.
Overtime,activeingredients
losetheirpotency.
Contact lens case—3
months.Toreduceriskof
eyeinfectionsfromparasites
andfungithatcanlivethere.
Pillow—1 year.Deadmites
andtheirshitcanmakeup10
percentofa2-year-old
pillow’sweight.
Toothbrush—3 months.
Old,frayedbristlesdoan
inferiorjobandharbor
bacteria,increasingriskof
gingivitis.
Bed sheets—1 to 2
weeks (wash).Germsfrom
yourmouthandskincan
multiplyandcancausegastro
andrespiratoryinfections.
Smoke alarm—5 to 10
years.Technologyisalways
improving,soyouralarm
shouldn’tbeoutdated.(And
remembertotestitmonthly.)
Mattress—9 to 10 years.
That’saboutthetimethe
coilsflattenout.Lumpsand
lackofsupportcanstress
yourback.
PowerUpwith
Nuts
Superpowers:Boost
testosterone,buildmuscle,
burnfat
Secret weapons:
Protein,monounsaturated
fat,vitaminE,niacin,
magnesium
Battle:Obesity,muscle
loss,wrinkles,
cardiovasculardisease
Sidekicks:Cashewand
almondbutters
ERASE A BLACK
EYE
Controlswelling,promote
healing,andappearlikeless
ofananimalwiththisplan
fromGaryDorshimer,MD.
Asheadteamphysicianfor
thePhiladelphiaFlyers,this
dochastreatedhisshareof
shiners.
A. Cool It!
Applyacoldcompressto
youreyetoslowbloodflow
andcurbswelling.Grababag
ofcold(notfrozen)peasora
cold,dampwashcloth.Hold
thecompresstoyoureyefor
5minutes,breakfor20
minutes,andrepeatuntilthe
swellingstops.Usethe
compressfora5-minute
sessionthreeorfourtimesa
day.
B. Pop the Cap
Forpainreliefinpillform,
sticktoacetaminophen
(Tylenol).Avoidantiinflammatories,suchas
aspirinoribuprofen,forthe
first24hours.Theycould
thinyourblood,resultingin
moreswelling.
C. Put Gravity to
Work
Theblackandbluehappens
becausefluiddoesn’tdrain
properly.Putanextrapillow
underyourheadatnight.The
elevationeasesswellingand
preventsbloodfrompooling
aroundyoureyesocket.
D. Turn Up the
Heat
After48hoursofcold
compresses,switchtoa
warm,moistcompress.Heat
increasescirculation,drawing
whitebloodcellstothesiteof
thebruisetohelprepair
tissue.Applythecompress,
10minutesatatime,asoften
asyouwant.It’llfeelgreat
too.
E. Put Your Finger
on It
Massagearoundthebruise—
verygently—withyour
fingertips.Thiscanreduce
swellingbydrainingfluidand
increasingcirculation.
HowtoAvoid
IngrownToenails
Nevercutyourtoenailsina
roundedshapesothatthe
sidescurldownintothe
skin.Leavetheoutside
edgesofthenailparallel
withtheskin.
MED SCHOOL
VOCABULARY
TEST:
SAR·CO·PE·NI·A
Pronouncedsahrkuhpeenee
uh,it’sthelossofmuscle
tissuethataccompaniesaging
andregularlyliftingnothing
heavierthanafork.Fromthe
Greek,itmeans,literally,
“lackofflesh.”Theaverage
guystartstolose1percentof
hismusclemassperyearafter
age30unlesshedoes
somethingaboutit.Skeletal
muscleisamajoruserof
calories,soasyoulose
muscle,youtendtoreplaceit
withfat.Toprevent
sarcopenia,getoffyourass
andturntoChapter3for
someweight-liftingworkouts
andeatmoreprotein,the
buildingblockofnew
muscle.
Don’tBeaParty
Pooper
You’remorelikelytobe
sickenedbysalsathanby
anyotherdips.Researchers
testingdifferenttypesof
dipsthathadbeen
contaminatedbydoubledippersfoundthatsalsa
hadseventimesmore
microbesthantheothers.
Turnsouttherunny
consistencyofthetomatobasedsnackcancarry
germsfromahalf-eaten
chipintothebowl.
QHOW DO YOU
FIND THE
HEALTHIEST
DARK
CHOCOLATE?
A.Checkthewrapperforthe
percentageofcacao,an
indicatoroftheamountof
antioxidantflavonols.As
littleasathirdofanouncea
dayof70percentcacao
chocolatecanimproveheart
health,studiesshow.Lookat
theingredientslist:Avoid
darkchocolatethatspecifies
“alkalinization”or“Dutch
processing,”whichstripsout
flavonols.Whatyouwantto
seeissugarandvanillato
balanceoutthebitternessof
thecacao,andcocoabutterto
hitthesweetspotof
creaminess.
DOUBLE UP FOR
HEALTH
Foodscientistssaythese
culinaryalliancesare
healthierwheneatentogether.
RUN FOR YOUR
BACK
Runningcanhelpprevent
lower-backpain,sohitthe
road.Infact,jogging
strengthensyourbackstabilizingmusclesmore
effectivelythanback
extensionsdo,saysa
Canadianstudy.“Asyou
pushwitheachlegduringa
run,theothersideofyour
pelviswantstodrop,”says
studyauthorDavidBehm,
PhD.“Yourtrunkmuscles
contracttokeepyourpelvis
inline.”Andunlikeback
extensions,runningmimics
everydaymovements.To
workyourcoremore,runon
anunstablesurface,likesand
orturf,Dr.Behmsays.
FendOffFrosty
Fingers
Whenyourhandsfeellike
they’regoingnumbin
freezingweather,swing
yourarmsinacircle.This
willbringbloodrushingto
yourhandsandwarmthem
upfast.
FAST FIXES FOR
LIFE’S SUDDEN
MISHAPS
Curse
Swearing,ordoinganything
thattriggersyourfight-orflightresponse,mayprovide
short-termpainrelief,UK
researchersfound.Another
oddoption:Punchyourselfin
adifferentbodypart(nottoo
hard!),saysstudyauthor
RichardStephens,PhD.
Spray
Badbump?Baseballathletic
trainersswearbyGebauer’s
InstantIcesprayforplayers
hitbypitches.Itnumbsthe
skinandhelpsthepoorguy
forgetthepainandreturnto
action,saysJonMichelini,
MS,ATC,headbaseball
athletictraineratthe
UniversityofFlorida.
Gebauer’sInstantIceisa
nonprescription,
nonflammabletopicalskin
refrigerant.Uselikeicefor
musclespasm(streamspray
only);minorpainand
swellingfromsprains,strains,
bruising,andcontusions;and
minorsportsinjuries.
Smear
Mentholatedlipbalmcan
sootheminorcuts.The
mentholbindstoopiate
receptors,triggersother
receptorsthatmaketheskin
feelcool,andopensblood
vessels,saysPaulJ.Christo,
MD,whoteaches
anesthesiologyatJohns
Hopkins.
Pour
Whenyouburnyourself
slightly,justruncoolwater
overit,saysWilliamT.
Zempsky,MD,apainexpert
atConnecticutChildren’s
MedicalCenter.Orholda
cool,moistclothoverthe
burnforafewminutes.
Chill
Iftakingaspirinupsetsyour
stomach,trydissolvingthe
tabletsinaglassofmilk.
That’llpreventthetabletfrom
lodgingagainsttheliningof
yourstomachandcausing
irritation.
TheEasiestWayto
LoseWeight
Drinktwoglassesofwater
beforeeverymeal.You’ll
stayhydrated,andfilling
yourbellywillcauseyou
toeatless.Secondeasiest
waytoloseweight:Hold
yourforkinyour
nondominanthand;you’ll
eatless.
THE GAIT WAY TO
LIVING LONGER
Walkingcancutyourriskof
dyingofbraincancerby
about40percent,according
toresearchfromthe
LawrenceBerkeleyNational
Laboratory.Themagic
minimumneededtoearnthe
benefits,scientistssay,is12
milesaweek.
Sugarcoata
ToastedTongue
Burnedyourtonguewith
hotfood?Sprinklingsome
sugaronitmayeasethe
pain.
GO TO SLEEP
FASTER
Sleepiscriticaltolooking
youngerandbeinghealthier.
Insteadofcountingsheepto
fallasleep,justwearwooly,
warmsocks.Swiss
researchersfoundthatpeople
fellasleepquickestwhen
theirhandsandfeetwere
warmest.Thishappens
becausewarmfeetandhands
causebloodvesselsto
enlarge,allowingmoreheat
toescapeyourbody,whichin
turnlowersyourcore
temperature,inducingsleep.
Trythis,too:Drinkasmall
glassoftartcherryjuicejust
beforegoingtobed.The
carbsmayelevateyour
brain’sproductionof
serotonin,aneurochemical
thatcanhelpyounodoff
quicker,andcherryjuice
containsnaturalmelatonin,
thehormonethatregulates
sleep.
Fact:
Thehighestrecorded
decibellevelofasnoring
sleeperis90.Ajetairplane
attakeoffis100.
Styleand
Grooming
Advice and Simple
Rules to Take the
Guesswork out of
Getting Dressed
Howtolookyourbest
qualifiesasUncommon
Knowledgebecausemost
menfeelabitintimidated
whenitcomestoclothing.
Fewofusarebornwithan
innatesenseofstyle.You
mightbeabletomatchthe
hatchwiththeperfectdryfly,
butcan’tforthelifeofyou
pickanewtietogowitha
suit.Asenseofstyle,likea
double-haulcastinfly
fishing,isdeveloped.
Unlessyourfatherwas
particularlywelldressedand
tookyoushoppingwithhim
often,youprobablydon’tfeel
allthatcomfortableina
menswearstore.Butifyou
wanttolookreallygood,
there’snogettingaroundit:
Youmustlearnhowtoshop
forclothesandpayattention
todetails.
Greatstyleconsistsalmost
entirelyofdetails.Andthat
goesformanscaping,too.
Skillisacquiredthroughtrial
anderrorandattentionto
detail.FortunatelyMen’s
Healthhasbeenhelpingmen
dressforalloccasions(and
keeptheirnailsandeyebrows
neatlytrimmed)fordecades.
Considerthefollowing
pagesahandbookfor
upgradingyourpersonalstyle
soyou’lllookgreat
anywhere.Turnthepagefor
theblueprints.
THE 16 PIECES OF
CLOTHING EVERY
MAN SHOULD
OWN
Allyouneedtolookwell
dressedforanyoccasionin
yourlife.
1. PLAIN POLOS
Awell-styledpolokeepsyour
stylesophisticatedwithout
thedrudgeryofwearing
sleeves.Flexyourrightto
barearms:Thesleeveshould
endabouthalfwaydownyour
biceps.Pairitwithasweater
ortailoredjacket.Letitstand
aloneonsunnydays.
2. CRISP DRESS
SHIRTS
Awhitedressshirtisthe
buildingblockofeveryman’s
wardrobe.Itnevergoesoutof
styleandworksinsituations
frombusinesscasualtoblack
tie.Butyou’llalsowant
severalcrispdressshirtsin
variouscolors(notjustboring
blue)andstripedpatterns.To
standapartfromtheother
guysintheoffice,styleit
right:
•
Fabricsayssomething
aboutyou:Oxfordcloth
isdemocraticandpreppy,
whilepoplinismore
refinedandeasiertodress
up,yetcasualenoughfor
denim.
•
Matchyourcollarstyleto
yourface.Roundorwide
mugslookbestwitha
narrowcollar,whilea
spreadcollarbalancesa
narrowface.Mostofus
fallsomewhereinthe
middle—soamodifiedspreadcollarisanideal
pickandalwaysmeans
business.
•
Withawhiteshirtunder
acharcoalsuit,youcan
letyourtiesing.
3. FITTED TSHIRTS
Leavetheloosefittothefree
teesyouearnrunning5-Ks.
Shootfor100percentcotton
andahintofstretch(fora
betterfit).Addafewdetails
—likestripes—andyou’ll
nevergobacktoageneric
three-pack.Wearundera
blazerorsweater.Nevertuck
itin.
4. TAILORED
SPORT SHIRT
Aimforversatility:Itshould
beshortenoughtoleave
untuckedwhenacasualmood
strikes.Letitwrinkleabit
andkeepthetopbutton
undone,evenifyou’re
wearingatie.
5. SWEATERS
Layerforwarmthinwinteror
chilloutwithacotton-linen
blendthat’sbreathable
enoughforsummerevenings.
Justbesuretoavoidthebulk:
•
Thethinnertheknit,the
closeritshouldfityour
frame.Heavysweaters
shouldbeloosebutnot
boxy.
•
Tryajacket.Sweater
jackets,likearelaxed
peacoatstyle,areagreat
alternativetoacoat.
Sinceyou’llwearlayers
underneath,keepthefit
roomy.
•
Crewnecksolidsarea
foundationpiece—great
withanything.
Nonbandedbottomsare
moreforgivingonheavier
midsections.
•
Acardiganistheultimate
multipurposeknit.Dress
itupwithashirtandtie
forwork,orgocasual
withaT-shirtandjeans.
•
Sticktonaturalfibers.
Theyarethemost
comfortable,andtheylet
yourbodybreatheno
matterwhatthe
temperature.
•
V-necksweaters:Ifyou
ownonlyone,makeit
finegaugeandsolid,in
eithermerinowoolor
cashmere.Whenyou
wearitwithacollared
shirt,keepthecollar
tuckedin.
6. THE LEATHER
JACKET
Makesurethefitissnugand
stayawayfromexcessively
shinybuttonsandzippers.
Soft,butteryleathertrumps
rigidandheavy.Testthe
boundaries.Youcouldlivein
thisthing.Itworksgreatover
aT-shirtandjeans,even
betteroverashirtandtie.
7.
DECONSTRUCTED
BLAZER
Rethinktheclassicstaple.
Becauseitlacksthelining
andpaddingofatraditional
sportcoat,thisjacketwillfeel
lightonyourshoulders.Wear
anywhereyou’ddonanormal
blazer.Thisisyourgo-to
whenit’shot;thelightweight
fabrickeepsyoufrom
drowninginsweat.
8. JEANS
Denimisthecornerstoneofa
man’swardrobe.Onceyou
findtheperfectfit,buythree
pairs.You’llbesetforyears
—especiallydarkdenim.
Eventhoughjeansnowarrive
inaparalyzingarrayof
washes,cuts,andstyles,style
expertsbackthestraightleg
astheonlyenduringstyle.
•
Ifyou’reslim,going
baggywon’tfoolanyone.
Instead,accentuateyour
framebygoingwitha
streamlined,straightfit
that’snarrowthroughthe
legandskimsyourwaist.
Keepthejeansfittedin
theseat;thatwayyou
createtheillusionof
biggerglutes.Pocket
flapsaddheft,butavoid
accentslikepocket
stitchingandflashy
hardware.Lighterrinses
anddistressingonlydraw
attentiontoyourlegs,
makingyoulookskinnier,
soaddalittledepthwitha
darkrinse.
•
Ifyou’reathletic,optfor
traditionalstraight-cut
jeansthatarefitted
throughthewaist,seat,
andthighs.They’ll
provideampleroomfor
well-developedquads
whileskimmingyour
framejustenoughto
highlightyourphysique.
Lookforjeanswith2or3
percentLycrasothey’ll
stretch,butnomore,or
theymightcling.Just
steerclearofanything
overlyslim.
•
Ifyou’reabiggerbuild,
aimtostrikeabalance
witharelaxedstraightfit.
You’llwantaslightly
extendedrise,which
meansthejeanssitat,not
below,thewaist.That’ll
offerafewextrainchesin
thethighsandseat;and
sincethelegsarecut
straightdown,your
ankleswon’tbe
swimmingindenim.If
youcangrabmorethana
handfuloffabricatyour
quads,findafitthat’sa
littleslimmerorhavea
tailortightenupthepants.
Andchoosedarkercolors
—theydoabetterjobof
hidingextrapounds.
9. CHINOS
Noteveryoccasionisdenimfriendly.Chinoscombine
comfortablecottontwillwith
thefitofyourfavoritejeans.
Theyshouldfitliketailored
pants—orevenbetter,jeans.
Andpassonanychinoswith
pleats.Tryapairingrayor
slateblue,colorsthatstand
outbutstillgowith
everything.
10. CLASSIC
DRESS PANTS
Don’tgoheavy;lightweight
woolwillhugyourframe
betterandkeepyoucoolin
stuffyofficespaces.Hikethat
waistuptojustbelowyour
navel.Thesearen’tyour
weekendjeans.
11. SIMPLE
SNEAKERS
Yourrunningshoesareonly
forrunning.Andkeepyour
neonmeshgymshoesinyour
locker.Lookforclassic
designsandneutralcolorsto
sportoutsidethelockerroom.
Keepthemcleanandyoucan
pairthemwithdarkjeans,
brightchinos,orevenasuit.
12. STANDOUT
DRESS SHOES
Leatherorsuede.They’rethe
uppersworthinvestingin.
Breakoutfromwearingdress
shoesonlywithtrousers.
Yourwingtipsandbrogues
wanttodatearound—and
they’lllookgreatwith
distresseddenimorchinos.
13. SUNGLASSES
Aperfect-fitpairwillframe
yourfacewithoutdeflating
yourwallet.Theclassicstaple
ofsunnydays?Aviators.It’s
hardtolookbad—andeasyto
lookbadass—inthem,but
sincestylesvary,givethe
detailscloseinspectionand
chooseasetthatworksbest
foryou.
•
Theshapeoftheframes
shouldcontrastwiththe
shapeofyourface.See
“FrameYourFace”tothe
righttohelpyoupickthe
perfectstyle.
•
Asarule,cleanmetal
stylesworkforwider
faces.Sizingtip:Ifyou
canseethetemples
flaringoutward,the
framesaretoonarrowfor
you.
•
AretrostylelikeRay
Bansarewideratthe
bottom,andhelpbalance
anarrowchin.
•
Makeitpop:Coloredand
mirroredlensesshowyou
haveboldconfidencein
yourspecstyle.
14. A WATCH
Aqualitytimepiecekeeps
youontimeandnevergoes
outofstyle,buttimeis
money—andwatchesare
expensive.Askthesefive
questionsbeforeinvesting:
•
Whatkindofmovementis
used?Atop-notchwatch
runsonmechanical
movement,notquartz.
•
Isthereanythingspecial
aboutthebezel?Thering
aroundthedialcanbea
strictlydecorativefront,
butfunctionalonescan
movecounterclockwiseto
measureelapsedtime.
•
Whatisthecrystalmade
of?Sapphireisusedin
finertimepiecesbecause
it’sscratchresistant.
Avoidmineralcrystal,
whichiseasilyscuffed,if
you’rebuyinghigh-end.
•
Isthisascrew-down
crown?Screw-down
crownsprovidewater
resistance,whichisgreat
forwhenyouforgetto
takeitoffintheshower—
orgetpushedintothe
pool.
•
Whichmetalisitmade
from?Thebigthreeare
steel,gold,andtitanium.
Titaniumislightweight
anddurableandlends
itselftosportytimepieces.
Steelissturdyandthe
mostversatile,soit’s
usedacrosstheboard.
Goldismostlyusedin
finer,pricierwatches.
15. NAVY BLUE
SUIT
Navyisseriousandsharp,
andatwo-buttonsuitis
alwaysappropriate,aslongas
youkeepthetopbutton
securedtoslimyourprofile.
Wearavestwiththefullsuit
orsimplywithdresspantsor
jeansforevenmore
versatility.
16. THE
IMMORTAL
LEATHER BAG
There’snoneedtoschlepthe
kindofrock-hardbriefcase
yourfatherdraggedtohis
office.Today’scasesare
softerandsleeker.Lookfor
zippersandbucklesthatfeel
sturdy.Thisisaninvestment;
spendthecashnowforabag
thatwilllasttherestofyour
life.Canvaswillcheapenthe
look.Smoothorpebbled
leatherhastheopposite
effect.
Rule #1
When shopping for clothes,
try everything on, except for
underwear. Even in Target.
Make that especially in Target.
HOW TO FOLD A
DRESS SHIRT
Developingabitofskillin
sartorialorigamicanhelpyou
staysharpandfreshandnot
wrinkled,asifyoujust
wrestledanalligatorinyour
shirt.
1. Lay Out the Shirt. Fasten all
the buttons, even on sleeves.
Lay the shirt facedown on a wide
table. (Not a bed; too soft to
smooth out fabric.)
2. Section Off the Fabric. Pinch
the fabric at the top of the shirt
halfway between the collar and
shoulder. Then find the same
spot near the bottom and pinch
the fabric. Pull taut. The resulting
line is your fold point.
3. Fold In the Sleeves. Release
the fabric at the top of the shirt
and grasp the shoulder. Fold the
entire section over so it rests
beneath the collar. Now fold the
sleeve back on itself so it lies
straight down in line with the
folded portion. Repeat on the
other side.
4. Flip Up the Bottom. Grab the
two corners of the bottom of the
shirt and fold them up to the
middle. Next, move your hands
to the new bottom edges and
fold those up again until the
fabric is lying just under the
collar.
5. Put It Away. To make sure the
collars don’t become too flat,
place one shirt in the suitcase
with the collar facing up. Then
lay the next one facedown with
the collar at the opposite end.
Source:SimonMaloney,headof
wholesaleatThomasPink
Rule #2
Crisp dress shirts should be
ironed and tucked in—always.
You should have only 1 to 2
inches of slack when you
pinch it at the waist.
UNSTICK YOUR
ZIPPER
Applyadropofliquidsoapto
acottonswabanddabthe
zipper.Lightlytugthezipper
backandforthtodistribute
thesoap.Eventuallytheteeth
shouldcomeunstuck.
Source:Darlene
DeAndrade,experttailor
Rule #3
Edit your closet every season.
It’s a toolbox, not a junk
drawer.
TIE ON TEXTURE
Unexpectedtiefabrics,such
asthickwoolorchunky
tweed,setyouapart.Aimfor
a2-to3-inchwidth—about
thesizeofyourlapel.Bold
colorslikeredgobestwith
moresubduedgraysand
whites.Thesuitorthetie,not
both,shoulddrawtheeye.
Rule #4
Match the neck of your T-shirt
to the neck of your sweater.
Wear V-neck T-shirts and
sweaters together; the T-shirt
can have a higher neck. A
cardigan works with any style.
But a crew-neck T-shirt with a
V-neck sweater is okay only if
Captain Kirk is your style icon.
Q: SHOULD I
WASH NEW
CLOTHES BEFORE
I WEAR THEM?
A.Youwon’tdieifyou
don’t,butyourskinmight
suffer:“Thedyes,resins,and
finishesaddedtoclothingcan
causeskinproblems,”says
MarkDenisP.Davis,MD,a
dermatologistattheMayo
Clinic.Forexample,synthetic
fabricsareoftencoloredwith
dispersedyes,whichmay
triggerallergicreactions.
Naturalfabrics,suchas
cotton,aren’tnecessarily
safer—theyoftencontain
irritatingformaldehyderesins
addedbymanufacturersto
makethefabricresist
wrinkling.
Rule #5
The length of your shirt
matters—too short and it
looks like a crop top; too long
and nobody notices how great
your pants fit. The proper shirt
should fall around the top or
middle of your back pocket,
says Durand Guion, VP and
men’s fashion director at
Macy’s.
BUY SHOES THAT
REALLY FIT
TIME YOUR VISITTryon
shoesintheafternoon.Your
feetswellslightlyduringthe
daybecausewalking
increasesbloodflowdown
there,andyouneedtobesure
yourshoesfityourexpanded
feet.Ifyoumustshopinthe
morning,don’tbuyshoesthat
aresnug.
CHECK THE FEELLook
forthreekeyindicatorsofa
goodfit.First,yourtoes
shouldlieflatintheshoe.
Second,theballofyourfoot
—whereyourtoesmeetyour
foot—shouldsitcomfortably
attheshoe’swidestpoint.
Finally,yourheelsshouldslip
slightlyasyouwalk.(Too
tightandyou’llblister.)If
you’reclenchingyourtoesto
keeptheshoeon,itdoesn’t
fit.
TAKE A REAL WALK
Persuadethesalespersonto
letyoutakea2-to3-minute
strollonasurfaceotherthan
theplushcarpetingofthe
store.Creasingalongtheball
ofthefootisnormal.
Creasingalongthetoes
meansyourfootistoofar
forwardandyouneedmore
length.
Source:KevinVollrath,masterfitter
andregionalsalesmanagerforAllen
Edmonds
Rule #6
Match shoes and belt in color
and finish. Shiny shoes =
shiny belt. Suede/buck shoes
= matte finish belt.
FRAME YOUR
FACE
Thetricktofindingflattering
sunglassesistoremember
thatoppositesattract.
Oval:Almostanystyle
works.Makesureyoureyes
arecenteredintheframes.
Round:Contrastcurveswith
angularframes.Avoid
anythingtoosquare.
Square:Roundorminimal
framesworkwitha
prominentjawlineand
forehead.
Heart:Yourwideforehead
andnarrowchinarehelped
byroundframes.
Rule #7
The stronger the pattern in
your suit, sports jacket, or
dress shirt, the weaker the
pattern in your tie. And vice
versa.
A TIE FOR EVERY
OCCASION
POWER TIES (silk,
wool, cashmere)
TheBasicPinstripe:Red,
blue,andgoldmeanbusiness.
TheSolid:It’sago-to
solutionforthattough-tomatchpatternedshirt.
TheDiscreetPolkaDot:
Keyword:discreet.Avoid
contrastingcolors.
TheBlackSilk:Agood,safe
optionforaweddingor
funeral.
CASUAL TIES (silk,
cotton, linen)
TheSkinny:Stickwithsolid
colorsorboldstripesforthis
3-inch-wide(orskinnier)
noodle.
TheSeer-Sucker:Wearit
withalinensportcoatfora
cool,casuallook
TheWoolBlend:It’smore
laid-backthan100percent
wool.Wearwithacorduroy
blazer.
Dress for Your
Height
Short/One Button A
single-buttonsuitleavesmore
ofyourshirtexposed,soyou
looktaller.
Average/Two-Button
Truthis,nobodylooksbadin
atwo-buttonsuit.Ifyou’re
mediumheight—orjust
contenttolookshortortall—
makethisyourdefault.
Tall/Three-Button Bigman
inasmallworld?Thisisyour
cut.Thelongerfrontpanel
leavesashorterverticalline
comingfromyourcollarso
youappearlikelessofa
giant.
GET THE SUIT TO
FIT RIGHT
1. Strengthen the
silhouette.Havethe
shoulderseamssetdirectly
atopyourshoulders,says
MattHarpalaniofImparali
CustomTailorsinNewYork
City.
2. Show some hand.The
sleevesshouldendatthe
crookofyourwrist.You
wantthemshortenoughto
leaveaquarterinchofyour
shirtcuffsexposed.
3. Cut it short.Askyour
tailortotakeupthebottomof
yourjacketsoitcoversmost
ofyourbutt.
Rule #8
Your jacket should be neither
too loose nor too tight. Your
fist should fit between the top
button and your body, but you
can go as snug as two fingers
for a modern fit.
Q: GOT A TIE BAR.
WILL IT WORK
WITH MY SKINNY
TIES?
A.Therulesaresimple:Your
tiebarshouldn’tstickout
beyondtheedgeofthetie,
saysBrianBoyé,executive
fashiondirectoratMen’s
Health.Youwantitvisiblein
theopeningofyourbuttoned
suitjacket,soplaceit
betweenthesecondandthird
buttonsofyourshirt.Asfor
tiewidth,remember:Atits
widestpoint,yourtieshould
beaboutthesameasyour
lapel,whichis2½inchesor
sofortheaveragesuit.
Rule #9
Match the metal of your belt
buckle to your cuff links.
MATCH A COLLAR
TO YOUR FACE
Wide Face:Narrowcollars
lengthenyourface.
Medium Face:Gowitha
semi-spreadcollar.It’s
classic,anditwillcreatethe
perfectcradleforatieknot.
Thin Face:Haveamuglike
EthanHawke’s?Aspread
collarcanstrengthenyour
jawline.
HOW TO BREAK IN
A BASEBALL HAT
Transformanewcapintoa
well-wornlid,courtesyof
MajorLeagueBaseball
pitcherPaulMaholm.
Soften the brim.Most
guyscupthebrimwithboth
handsandtrytofoldit,which
resultsinasilly-looking
pointedbrimthatdoesn’t
hold.Instead,usebothhands
torolltheentirehat
lengthwiseintoaburrito-like
tube.Afteryourollitinone
direction,unrollitandrepeat
intheotherdirectionsothat
bothsidesofthebrimreceive
equaltreatment.Repeattwo
orthreetimesuntilthebrim
becomesmoreflexible.
Sweat it out.Wearyour
hatduringaworkoutorona
hotsummerday.Baseball
capsaremadefromcotton,so
onceasweatyhatdries,it
willmoldtoyourhead,
creatingacustomfit.Dirt
scuffsandgrassstainsare
optional.
Rule #10
If you have on a solid suit,
make sure your tie or shirt has
some pattern. Wearing three
solids will make you look like
an undertaker or Donald
Trump.
Q: I’VE SEEN
GUYS LOOK
REALLY GOOD IN
A PINK SHIRT.
HOW CAN I PULL
THAT OFF?
A.Whatyou’rereallyasking
is“HowcanIavoidhearinga
coworkersay,‘Checkitout!
Evan’swearingapink
shirt!’”Right?Startby
steeringclearofraspberryor
bubblegumpink,saysMen’s
Healthfashiondirector
SandraNygaard.Thesebright
huescanmakeyoustandout
toomuch,andthey’re
difficulttocoordinatewith
otherclothes.Instead,stick
withtheno-failclassic—a
slightlymutedhue,similarto
apastel,saysNygaard.Ifthe
colorremindsyouofa
strawberrymilkshake,you’re
ontherighttrack.“It’ssubtle
andgoeswellwithallskin
tones,”shesays.Butbuying
therightshirtleavesyouonly
halfdressed.Givesome
thoughttoapairof
complementarypants.Fora
simplesummerlooktry
white,medium-wash,orlight
jeans.Addachocolate-brown
beltandagoldwatch(orany
watchwithabrownor
chocolateband).Thenadda
pairofboatshoes.Avoid
loose-fittingkhakis,unless
you’reaimingtolooklikea
BocaRatonretiree.
DRESS LIKE
ROYALTY
Richcolorsrule.Sapphires,
emeralds,andamethystshave
alwaysbeenassociatedwith
royalty,fromthekingsof
EnglandtotheshahsofIran.
Butyoudon’tneedtospenda
fortunetochannelthatpower.
Wearingthesecolors—
whetherinrubycufflinksor
boldbluepants—saysyou’re
confidentandcultured.
Your royal palette:
BURGUNDY,PURPLE,
GREEN,BLUE
Rule #11
The tip of your tie should hit
the top of your trousers. Go a
little shorter for a retro look,
but never go longer. EVER.
ACCESSORIES
FOR A-HOLES
Accessoriesformenare
simple.Theydon’tscreamfor
attention.Asubtlewhite
handkerchiefinasuitpocket
workswell.Thesebelow,on
theotherhand,broadcast,
“Hey,I’manasshole.”
Rings
Oneringisfine.Butunless
yournameisOzzy,keepit
thatway—notfussy,and
neveraroundthethumb.
Watches
Youwantyourwatchtobe
themainattraction.Sticktoa
singlebracelet,wornonthe
samewristthatthewatch
adorns—andnomore.
Earrings
Howaboutyoustickwith
none?Earringsonamanare
distracting,andtheline
betweencoolandcornyisso
finethatit’snotworththe
risk.
Eyewear
Thetrendtowardcheap
“statement”glassesworks
onlyifyou’reKanyeWest.
Resist;gowithamore
understatedpair.
SHINE YOUR
SHOES LIKE A
SOLDIER
WrapapieceofoldT-shirt
aroundyourindexfingerand
getitwetwithwater,which
willhelpspreadthewax.
Swipeitacrosssomepolish
andthenrubinacircular
motion,movingfromtoeto
heel.Ifthepolishistoothick,
addmorewater.Repeatthe
processatleasttwice.The
firstlayerwilllookshiny,but
notperfect,withsome
dimplingorlinesonthe
surface.Thesecondcoat
shouldbuffthese
imperfections.Uselesspolish
witheachlayer,continuing
untiltheshoeshines.
Source:JimKing,nationalexecutive
directorofAMVETS(American
Veterans)
TRIM GNARLY
NOSE HAIRS
RobertdelJunco,MD,
directoroftheSt.Joseph
HospitalNasalandSinus
CenterinOrange,California,
helpsyoumakethecut.
1. TosstheTweezers:
Don’tplucknosehairs!
Theyblockinfectioncausingdustandbacteria
fromenteringyour
airway.That’salsowhy
youshouldn’ttrimthem
tooshort.Plus,anick
fromscissorsoratrimmer
caninvitemicrobes.
2. CleanYourTool:If
you’reusingscissors,
disinfectthemwith
alcohol,lestyoutransport
bacteriaintoyournostrils.
Ifyou’reusingatrimmer
(circularandoscillating
typesworkwell),follow
theowner’smanualto
cleanit.
3. Don’tGoCrazy:Clip
thehairnoshorterthan
therimofyournostril,
beingextracarefulnotto
niptheinsideofyour
nose.You’llloweryour
riskofacutifyouangle
thetrimmingtool
downward.
SKIN CARE
PRODUCT: USE
JUST ENOUGH OF
THE STUFF
Toomuchisawasteof
moneyandmaydomore
harmthangood.Thecoin’s
sizeindicateshowmuchyou
need.
Gel:Excesshairgelcan
aggravateyourskin,leaving
youpronetoacnearound
yourhairline.
Shampoo:Toomuchstrips
yourhairofnaturaloils.The
result:flakinganditchiness.
Conditioner:Morethanthis
amountplugshairfollicles,
creatingbuildupandaflat
mane.
Shaving cream:Layingit
onthickrequiresmultiple
razorpasses,whichirritates
skin.
Body wash:Anymoreona
washclothandyourisk
dryingoutyourskin,leaving
ititchy.
HOW TO
FRUSTRATE
MOTHS
Whenstoringyourwool
sweatersforsummer,have
themcleanedbeforeputting
themaway.Andaddfresh
cedarblockstoyourdrawers,
wardrobe,andevenplastic
storagebinstoprotect
knitwearfrommoths.
Rule #12
Your sweater should hug your
chest. Think jacket, not bulky
blanket.
TIES, LOOSEN UP
Astieschange,sotoodothe
rulesformatchingthemwith
shirts.Feelingconfident?
Thenit’stimeyoulearned
howtomaketheformallook
casual.
Combine Color
Inpairingcolors,youcan
matchoryoucan
complement.Ifyouhewto
theclassic,makesureyourtie
picksuponadominantcolor
fromyourshirt;a
predominantlygreenshirt
needsatiethatcontainsa
similarshade.Ifyou’rea
moreadventuroustype,seek
outcomplementarycolors.
Forexample:Yellowworks
wellwithblue,olivelooks
niceonred,andcharcoal
addsanaturalshadeof
contrasttotan.
The Subtle:Rawsilk
tweedtiesmakedressshirts
appearlessformal.
The Bold:Thetiedoesn’t
needtomatchtheshirt,butit
shouldcomplementit.
Think Texture
Tiefabricssuchasnubby
silk,linen,wool,and
cashmerearegaining
popularityandmakeiteasyto
addtactilecontrasttoyour
style.Experimentingwith
neckwearconveysamessage
tocoworkersthatyou’re
creativeandopentonew
ideas.Youwouldn’tbreak
theseoutatablack-tieevent,
butthey’reentirely
appropriateatcocktailhour
orinaninformalwork
setting.
The Subtle:Gowithatie
thatpicksuponthedominant
colorinyourshirt.
The Bold:Tonedowna
blazerwithachambrayshirt
andcasualtie.Pairacotton
knitwithafour-in-handknot.
Own the Look
There’sarightwayanda
wrongwaytowearatie,and
thedifferenceisinthedetails.
Employthesethreestyle
upgradestogofromsloppyto
sharplydressed.
1. Yourtieshouldmatchthe
sizeofyourjacketlapel
inthisrespect.Ifthelapel
isnarrow,yourtieshould
benarrowtoo.Similarly,
ifyourlapeliswide,grab
atiewithgirth.
2. Feelaroundyourneck.
Yourtieshouldn’tbe
pokingoutfromthe
bottomofyourcollar.
Beforeyoufoldthe
collar,makesurethetie
liesflatandthatthetop
alignswiththecrease.
3. Ifyou’rewearingatie
bar,placeitbetweenthe
secondandthirdbuttons
ofyourshirt.Itshouldbe
nolongerthanthreequartersofthewidthof
thetie.
DIMPLE YOUR TIE
Thisonesimplestylemove
willmakeyouaclassierman,
instantly.
Laythetieflatonatable
andfolditinhalfverticallyat
thepointwhereyouenvision
theknotanddimple.Holdthe
foldforaboutaminuteuntila
slightcreaseappears.This
creasewilleventuallyhelp
holdthedimpleinplace.
Nowtiethetie,andusing
yourthumb,middlefinger,
andindexfinger,pinchaW
rightbelowtheknot,onthe
foldline.Then,holdingthe
W,tightenthetiearoundyour
necktosecurethedimple.
Checkyourselfinamirror.
Nowknock’emdead.
Source:SimonCrompton,authorand
styleexpert
(www.permanentstyle.co.uk)
MASTER THE
HALF WINDSOR
Knottingalightweightcotton,
knit,orlinentiecanbetricky.
Addsomeheftwithahalf
Windsorknot,suggests
designerDavidHart.
DRAPEthetiearoundyour
neck,makingsurethewider
endfallsabout12inches
belowthenarrowend.
CROSSthewiderendover
thenarrowend.
LOOPthewideendaround
thenarrowendandliftitup.
PULLthewideendthrough
thegapbetweenthecollar
andtie;moveitofftotheleft.
PLACEthewideendacross
thenarrowendfromleftto
right.
BRINGitupthroughthegap
anddownthroughtheknotin
front.
WITH BOTH HANDS,
tightenandadjusttheknot.
MAKE A
STATEMENT WITH
EYEGLASSES
Eyeglassesareahugepartof
yourpersonalityandstyle,so
frameyourfaceright.Look
forglassesthatmatchyour
skintoneandflattertheshape
ofyourface.Ifyouhavelight
hairandasquareface,blond,
slightlyroundedtortoiseshell
frameswillworkwell.Don’t
beafraidtobebold.Glasses
chosenwiselywilladdabit
ofedgetoyourappearance,
makingyourlooksmarter,
fresher,andmoremodern.
Rule #13
Avoid nose fatigue. When
applying fragrance, spritz your
favorite scent on your pulse
points (like your wrists and
the base of your neck) and
wait 10 to 12 hours before
reapplying. Accidental
overdose? Use a wet wipe (or
a cotton ball dipped in
alcohol) on the spot to lift off
some of the scent. That
should take the strength of the
fragrance down a notch or
two.
LOOK OFFICE
SHARP
Today’sofficeallowsfor
personalityandinspiration.
Usethesesuggestionsto
buildawardrobethatcango
anywhere—andtakeyou
places.
THE SHIRT
Buttonedup?Onefinger
shouldfitbetweenyourneck
andtheshirt.
THE JACKET
Thesleevesshouldn’thitpast
thecreaseofyourwrist.Try
jacketsonwithadressshirt—
aquarterinchofshirtcuff
shouldshow.
THE PANTS
Askyourtailorforhalfa
breakattheshoe.That'llkeep
thefitslimandstraight,
whichmakesyourlegslook
longer.
THE TIE
Asaruleofthumb,our
expertsrecommendawidth
of2to3inches,butthisrule
isn’tuniversal.Sizeyourties
tobeproportionatetolapels.
THE SHOES
Nosquares,andnothingtoo
round—overstatedtrendswill
comeandgo.Investinapair
withaslimtoe.Theskinnier
thesuit,theslimmeryour
shoe’spoint.
Rule #14
Shirt and tie patterns should
differ in scale. A shirt with
large checks looks best with a
tie that has either smaller
checks or thin stripes. The
reason? Patterns of similar
size will compete with each
other. Giving each one its own
platform tells people you’re
different . . . but that you still
know how to dress.
WHITEN UP
Havingawhitersmileis
engagingandinviting.But
popcornkernelsandspinach
stuckupineventhewhitest
ofgrillswon’tmeltherheart.
Brushandflossandmake
sureyourtoothbrushisfresh.
Afterthebristlesareworn
down,itdoesn’tcleanteeth
properly.Towhitenteeth,
choosegeltraysinsteadof
stripsbecausestripsdon’t
distributethewhiteningpaste
evenly.Teethareusually
darkestnearthegumline,
wherestripscan’treach.Ina
pinch,rinsewithapplecider
vinegar.Swishingaroundtwo
partswatertoonepartapple
cidervinegarisanaturaland
organicwaytomaintaina
healthysmile.
FOLD THE
PERFECT POCKET
SQUARE
Therearedozensofwaysto
foldapocketsquare,and
mostofthemare,well,
square.Don’tbothertryingto
masterthemall.Thesethree
techniquesaretheonlyones
youneedtoknow.
The Straight Fold
Laythepocketsquareflat.
Bringtheleftsidetotheright
side.Foldthebottomtoward
thetop,butstopshortof
liningtheendsupflush.Fold
thefabricinthirds
horizontallysoitfitsyoursuit
pocket.
The Three Point
Foldasilksquareasifyou’re
makingatriangle,butdon’t
folditexactlyinhalf.Instead
maketwoside-by-sidepeaks.
Nowbringtheleftsideofthe
foldededgeupandtothe
rightofthepeak,tomakea
thirdpeak.Thenbringthe
rightsideofthefoldededge
acrosstotheleft.
The Puff
Laythepocketsquareflat.
Withonehand,pinchthe
square’scenter;pickitup.
Withyourotherhand,fold
thefabricinhalf,bringingthe
hemtothecenter.Placeitin
yourpocketwiththefold
exposed.Adjustittodesired
puffiness.
HOW TO BREAK IN
A PAIR OF JEANS
Youcanachievethatwellworncomfortthatnormally
takesmonthstoachievein
justaday.
Start Here:
Avoidloose-fittingdenim.
Tightjeanswillbreakin
fasterbecauseoftheconstant
frictionwithyourskinwhen
youmove.Infact,themore
frequentlyyouwearthem,the
better.
Do This Next:
Fillacoupleofnylon
stockingswith10ounces
eachoffreshcoffeegrounds,
andthensetthemasideina
5-gallonpailuntillater,when
youchangeoutofthose
jeans.
Finish It Off:
Pourhotwateroverthe
stockingsuntilthepailis
about¾full.Addyourjeans;
letthembrewfor15to20
minutes.Rinseinlukewarm
water.
Source:EricSchmidt,directorof
operations,DenimTherapy
LookYounger
Instantly
Mess up your hair.Rub
adabofstylingcream
betweenyourhandsand
applyitfromthecrownout
forayouthful,unstudied
vibe.Thinninghair?Try
clippingitcloseorshaving
italloff—that’llkeep
peopleguessingyour
DOB.
HOW TO LOOK
GOOD IN A SUIT
Anill-fittingsuitcanmake
youlookliketheunclewho’s
beenwearingthesameoneto
familyfuneralssince1986.
Nailthesesixstylepointsand
you’lllooktailor-made.
The Shoulder
Itshouldbesnugbutnot
tight.Eventhebesttailor
can’treworkashoulder.
The Knot
Thewiderthecollaropening,
thelargertheknotcanbe.
Thismodifiedspreadcollar
callsforatightfour-in-hand
knot.
The Lapel
Thetieandlapelshouldrelate
toeachotherinwidth.A
narrowlapelcallsfora
skinnytie.
The Waist
Thebodyofthejacketshould
skimyourtorso.
The Sleeve
Sleevesshouldsitaquarter
inchabovetheshirtcuff.
The Hem
Yourtrousersshouldhavea
slightbreakonyourshoe.
Q: HOW CAN I GET
RID OF THE DARK
CIRCLES UNDER
MY EYES?
A.Keepyourpawsoffyour
peepers.Everytimeyourub
theskinunderyoureyes,you
openuplittlepacketsofsoft
pigmentthataredeposited
intoyourskintogiveita
darkerappearance,says
BruceRobinson,MD,
professorofdermatologyat
Mt.SinaiMedicalCenter.
Here’swhattodotolook
bright-eyed:
Inthemorning:Afacial
moisturizerwithsunscreen
canprotectthedelicateskin
underyoureyes.
Intheevening:Layoffthe
tequilashots.Excessalcohol
andsaltcanmakeyourcells
retainextrawater,leadingto
thea.m.puffinessthatmakes
darkcircleslookevenmore
pronounced.
Atbedtime:Useacream
withvitaminCorcaffeine.
Rule #15
The bottom button of your suit
jacket or sport coat always
stays undone. PERIOD.
A MAN’S GUIDE
TO FOOTWEAR
Agoodpairofshoesisan
investmentyou’llownfor
years.Andthesedaysalmost
everystyleisavailableat
multiplepricepoints.Stock
yourclosetwiththesestyles
andnomatterwhatyoucan
afford,you’llwalkawayin
shoesthatfityourfashion
senseandfinancialcomfort
zone.
1 The Dark Brown
Oxford
Nothingruinsalooklikea
pairofclunky,square-toed
shoes.Theylookdatedeven
ifyoujustboughtthem,and
yourwholeoutfitfallsflat.
Thefix?Apairofdarkbrown
leatheroxfordswitharound
toe.They'remodernand
sophisticated,andgowith
nearlyeverything.
Works best with:Business
orcasualdress.Thinknavy,
gray,andcharcoalsuits;
tweedjackets;workappropriatejeans;corduroys;
khakis;andgrayflannel.
Keep them new:Have
shoesresoledwhenyourheel
iswearingthin—anddon’tlet
itweardowntotheleather,
becauseyou’llenduppaying
more.
2 The Slim Black
Oxford
Don’tbotherwithblack
patentleathershoesyou’ll
onlywearafewtimesinyour
life,unlessyou’reared
carpetregularorconstantly
gettingmarried.Instead,opt
forapairofnarrowblack
leathershoes—they’rejustas
polishedandelegantbutalso
lookgoodwithyourwork
clothes.Twobirds,oneshoe.
Works best with:Tuxedos,
darkjeans,andnavy,gray,
andblacksuits.
Keep them new:Usecedar
shoetrees(whenyou’renot
wearingthem,silly).And
remember:Noonehasever
regrettedhavingleathershoes
polished.
3 The Chelsea Boot
Whenit’ssocoldyoucan
feelthewindthroughyour
laces,it’stimetoswitchto
Chelseaboots.Sincethey’re
laceless,theykeepyourfeet
andankleswarm,butunlike
mostboots,they’redressed
upenoughfortheoffice.
Works best with:Jeans
andcords.Ordressthemup
withdarkjeans,abuttondownorsweater,andatweed
jacket.
Keep them new: Ifthere’s
snowontheground,there’s
probablysalttoo,whichruins
leather.Removestainswitha
50/50mixtureofwhite
distilledvinegarandwater,
andwipedry.Useawater
andstainprotectivespray.
4 The Loafer
Thetwobiggestcomplaints
aboutloafers:1)“They’retoo
preppy”;and2)“They
remindmeofRonald
Reagan.”Fairenough,butif
youlookintotheactual
historyofloafers,you’ll
realizethatlongbefore
Northeasternprepschoolers
gottheirfeetonthem,they
weresimplythebestshoefor
loafingaround.Theyshould
becomfortable.
Works best with:Jeans
andkhakis;shortsinthe
summer,butnosocks.
Tip:Ifyou’renotsoldon
loafersbutliketheideaof
owningapairofslip-ons,try
apairofboatshoesordriving
moccasins,whichareequally
comfortablebutevenmore
casual.
HOW TO
RESUSCITATE
DROWNED SHOES
1. Dry.First,wipethemoff
withacleancloth.Water
canruintheleather.
2. Stuff.Putcrumpled
newspaperinthemto
absorbthemoisture.
Replacethepaperwhen
saturated.Repeatuntil
nearlydry;insertcedar
shoetrees.
3. Condition.Rubthem
downwithagoodleather
conditioner.
Rule #16
Buy cedar shoe trees for all
your good shoes. Slipping in
shoe trees every night will add
years to your shoes, and this
simple act of stewardship will
reverberate through your life,
making you more disciplined
everywhere you go.
REMOVE STAINS
ON A WHITE SHIRT
Greasy stuff (cooking oil,
salad dressing, mayo,
etc.):Pretreattheitemwitha
stainremover,suchasSpray
’nWashorShout;theseuse
solventstodigoutbigstains.
Washitinhotwater,but
makesurethespotisgone
beforedrying—heatwill
makeatemporaryspot
permanent.
Dye jobs (mustard, ink,
grass):Pouradetergentthat
containsbleachonthestain
andleaveitfor5minutes.
Thenrinsewell.Ifthat
doesn’twork,soakitina
bleachsolution(2ouncesper
gallonofwater).Ifthestain’s
stillthereaftera15-minute
soak,it’snotgoinganywhere.
Tannin stains (wine,
coffee, tea):Washtheitem
inahot-watercyclewith
detergent.Noneedfor
pretreatment—thesestains
won’tsetunlessthey’vebeen
subjectedtointenseheat.
Avoidsoap,whichmayreact
withsomesoilstoformlarger
compoundsorbiggerstains.
Saucy stains (barbecue,
ketchup):Combination
stainslikethesehavegrease
anddyes.First,blotoff
excesssauce(don’trub!),
usingawhitepapertowelto
avoidcolorbleeding.Tackle
theoilwithastain-removal
stickorspray,ordetergent,
andwashtheiteminhot
water.
Q: MY GIRLFRIEND
HAS ONE OF
THOSE SONIC
FACE
SCRUBBERS.
SHOULD I USE IT?
A.Onyourgolfballs?No.
Onyourface?Goforit.
Sonicscrubberscontain
microbristlesthatpulsate
hundredsoftimesasecondto
cleanyourpores,saysAdnan
Nasir,MD,PhD,theMen’s
Healthdermatologyadvisor
andanadjunctassistant
professorofdermatologyat
theUniversityofNorth
CarolinaatChapelHill.
“They’reespeciallygreatfor
menwithoily,flaky,or
cloggedskinbecausethey
cleandeeperthanyour
fingersorawashclothcan,
andtheyeasilyremoveacnecausinggrimefromyour
skin.”HelikestheClarisonic
Plus(clarisonic.com)because
ithasthreespeeds;thatway
youcanvarytheintensityof
yourscrub.Useitwithamild
facewash,suchasCetaphil
GentleSkinCleanser
(drugstore.com).Justtwo
caveats:Menwithsensitive
skinoreczemashouldskip
thescrubber,saysDr.Nasir,
andifyoushareadevicewith
yourgirlfriend,makesure
youbuyaseparatebrushhead
soyoudon’tgunkuphers.
Rule #17
Never wear loafers with a suit.
Save them for khakis or jeans,
and maybe a sports coat. A
suit needs shoes with laces or
buckles.
BANISH BO
Ifyoustinklikeyourninthgradegymlocker,tryan
antibacterialsoap—body
odorcanbeaproductof
bacterialgrowthontheskin.
AndskiptheIndianbuffetat
lunch—odorsfromonions,
garlic,curry,andspicyfoods
areexcretedinsweatglands.
Finally,dothelaundry.
Bacteriafromsweatcancling
tofabrics;theheatfromyour
bodyactslikeaplug-in
scentedwarmer,butinthis
caseitactivatesoffending
odors.
DISGUISE YOUR
GUT
Thoselast10poundshavea
preferredspottosettle:the
areaformerlyknownasyour
abs.Untilyoubustthebulge,
memorizethesesneakystyle
slimmers.
Embrace geometry.Look
forshapesthatcreatethe
illusionofaninverted
triangle—broadshoulders,
narrowwaist.Structured
blazersandshawl-collar
cardiganskeepbalanceby
addingabitofbulktoyour
neckandshoulders.
Ask for a regular.Rather
thanarelaxedorslimfit—
neitherofwhichwillflatter
yourabdominalacreage—opt
fora“regularfit”dressshirt.
Thisstylewon’thugyour
bellyorburyitinexcessive
fabric.Instead,itwillfit
uniformly,withalittleroom
tomove.
Skip the zips.Avoid
wearingzip-frontsweaters
andcinched-waistjackets,
whichjustdrawtheeyeto
yourproblemarea.Buttons
aremuchmoreforgiving.
Ease your belt a notch.A
beltthat’stootightcutsyou
offinanunflatteringway.
Buyabelttwosizeslarger
thanyourpantssoyou’llhave
morestraptotuckinaloop.
Never cinch.Acinched
waistcreatestheillusionof
bulkevenwhenthereisn’t
any.Whenyouweara
sweater,optforonewithout
anelasticwaistbandand
you’llstilllooksleek.
Rule #18
Change your pillowcase once
a week so your freshly washed
face is not resting on a
buildup of your hair’s oil. Use
a disinfecting wipe on all your
phones to reduce breakouts
by your ear and jawline.
CHECK YOUR
BREATH
Ifitcanpeelpaint,skipthe
mints—theyonlymaskthe
stink.Useatonguescraperto
removeback-of-the-mouth
bugs.Howtocheck:
Step 1
Washyourhandswithan
odorlesssoaptoremoveother
scents.
Step 2
Lickthebackofyourhand
andletitdryfor5seconds—
enoughtimeforthesalivato
evaporate.
Step 3
Bad-breathbacteria’ssulfur
compoundswillremain.Take
awhiff.
Source:HaroldKatz,DDS,founderof
theCaliforniaBreathClinic
CLOTHES
REMAKE THE MAN
IF YOU WEREN’T BORN WITH A
MANNEQUIN’S BODY, FAKE IT!
There’snowayyoucanadd3
inchestoyourheight,lose10
poundsin10minutes,or
broadenyourshoulders
instantly—butyoucancreate
theillusionofhavingthese
physicalupgradesandmore.
Add inches.Theidea:You
wanttocreatetheappearance
ofastraightlinefrom
shouldertotoe.Aneasy
optionisamonochromatic
outfit,butwhenyoufeellike
branchingout,tryvertical
stripes.They’lldomoreto
elongateyourframethan
otherpatternswill.
Make feet sleek.
“Somewhat”
counterintuitively,chunkyor
square-toedshoescan
exaggeratelength.Avoid
shoeswithabulboustoe;they
createaclownshoeeffect.
Instead,staysleekandserious
withanalmond-shapedtoe.
Broaden narrow
shoulders.Ifyou’reabout
100,000shoulderpresses
awayfromyourgoal,cheat
the“V”lookwithjacketsthat
havestructuredshoulders.
Thepaddingcreatesasharper
andstrongerprofile.And
whileastructuredsuitjacket
createstheillusionoflarger
shoulders,asweatershould
fityousnuglytoaccentuate
theshouldersyoualready
have.Contrastingbodyand
armcolorscanalsoadd
dimension.
Lengthen your legs.
Maintainlittleornobreakin
yourtrouserstohelpbalance
yourproportions.Theexcess
fabricgatheredatyourankles
willonlymakeyoulooklike
aguywhoinheritedhisdad’s
pants.Trymatchingsocksto
thecolorofyourpantsto
elongateevenfurther.
Brighten pasty skin.
Rememberthisinfalland
winter:Earthtones,browns,
andolivegreenslooksoft
againstpaleskin.Reds,
oranges,andpinksbringout
rosinessinyourskin.
Shape the rear view.
Don’thideyourflatbuttin
relaxed-fitjeans.Choosea
slimmerortaperedstylethat
hugsyourbackside.Flap
pocketscanenhancea
pancakeposterior;you’llbe
gladthey’retherewhenyou
catchhercheckingyouout
frombehind.
SIDEBURNS 101
Check length.Letyour
faceshapebeyourguide.If
yourfaceisroundoryour
chinisn’tverypronounced,
keep’burnsatmid-earor
shorter.Ifyouhaveanoblong
orrectangularface,keep
themalittlelonger—mid-ear
toearlobelength.
Keep ’em narrow.Don’t
letthemgrowwiderthan
aboutaninchoryou’llneeda
sequinedjumpsuittomatch.
Keepingthemthatwayis
easy:Buyacombaswideas
your’burns,holditupagainst
them,andfollowitssmooth
edgewithatrimmer.
Avoid fluff.Watchtheedges
andpuffinessofyour
sideburns.Ifyouhaveshaggy
hair,keepyoursideburnhair
short,aroundaneighthofan
inch.Bushy’burnspushlong
hairawayfromyourface,
creatingamushroomeffect.
Q: MY
DEODORANT ISN’T
DOING A GOOD
JOB OF
CONTROLLING MY
BO. WHAT
SHOULD I TRY?
A.Hityourpitswithan
aluminum-fortified
antiperspirant.Itwillblock
sweat,starvingstench-
buildingbacteria,says
CarolynJacob,MD,medical
directorofChicagoCosmetic
SurgeryandDermatology.If
yourskinissensitive,trya
soothingstick,likeDove
Men+CareClinicalProtection
antiperspirant
(walgreens.com).Foraclear
shieldwhenyou’reshirtless,
gowithawater-basedgel,
likeGilletteClinicalClear
Gelantiperspirant/deodorant
(target.com).Stillsweaty?
CertainDriClinicalStrength
antiperspirantroll-on
(cvs.com)hasthestrongest
sweatblockerinthehighest
amountavailableoverthe
counter.
Rule #18
Your socks should always
match the color of your pants,
not your shoes. Subtle
patterns—not the Utah Jazz
logo—are okay for most
situations (except black tie).
The pattern should pick up
another color you’re wearing.
HOW TO
OUTGROW A BAD
HAIRCUT
Escapehumiliationandgrow
togreatlengthsjustby
masteringtheartofthese
groomingtechniques.
Timing:Startgrowingout
yourhairinearlywinter,
whencoolerweatherprevents
asweatyhead.Hairgrows
abouthalfaninchamonth,so
you’llhaveyournewlookby
spring.
Trimming:Ifyouusuallygo
forafull-onhaircutevery4
weeks,pushittoevery6.But
dropbythebarbershoponce
betweencutstocleanupyour
neckandsideburns.
Texture:Askyourbarberto
removesomebulk(not
length)withspecial
texturizingscissorsorarazor.
Thisallowsdifferentstyling
optionsandpreventspoufing.
Touch:Keepyourhairsoft
andpliable—andmore
touchableforher—byusing
lessstylingproductthanyou
wouldonshorterhair.And
buyahairbrush.
HOW TO GO LONG
ON TOP
Consideryournogginshape
whenchoosingahairlength.
SQUARE:
Lengthaddssoftnesstoa
strong,squarejawline.Stay
awayfromastraightstyleor
aone-lengthcut,eitherof
whichcanoveremphasize
yourjaw.
ROUND:
Youwanttoaddlengthand
reducewidth—yourfaceis
roundenoughalready.Keep
yourhairshorteronthesides
thanontop.Ifyougo
especiallylong,keepitas
straightaspossiblesoit
won’taddbulktoyour
cheeks.
OVAL:
You’reinluck.Anylength
canflatterthisuniversalface
shape,whichiswidenearthe
templesandnarrowtoward
thechin.Experimenttofind
thestyleyoulikebest.
The Four Secrets
to Cleaning Up
Good
Morethanhalfofwomencop
tojudgingyourteeth,hair,
andnailswhensizingyouup,
aMatch.comsurveyreveals.
Here’showtoensureshe
likeswhatshesees.
Maintain Your Mitts
First,clipeachnailfollowing
itsnaturalcurve,saysAngel
Williams,aNewYorkCity
manicurist.Withahangnail
clipper,removetornskinat
thebase,andthenevenout
theedgesandpushbackyour
cuticlesaftercoatingthem
withpreshaveoil.Thenusea
buffertobanishuglycracks
andbumps.
Take a Hair Holiday
Productbuildupmatsyour
mane,leavingitgreasy.Skip
gelsandcreamsforafew
days,andvaryyourshampoo
routine.“Rinsevigorously
daily;useacleansing
conditionereverytwodays
andregularshampoo
weekly,”suggestsPaul
Boucher,astylistatFloyd’s
99BarbershopinDallas,
Texas.
Polish Your Ivories
Whenconsideringadate,71
percentofwomenscrutinize
yourgrill,theMatch.com
surveyfound.TrythisDIY
whitenerfromChicago
dentistJessicaEmery,DMD.
Makeapasteofbakingsoda
(1tablespoon)andhydrogen
peroxide(5drops).Applyit
toyourfrontteeth,wait15
minutes,andbrush.
Tend to Your
Brows
Workwiththeirnatural
shape,sayscelebritymakeup
artistFabioloaArancibia.
“Brushthehairsupwardand
trimlongpieces,”shesays,
“butdon’tgocrazyorit’ll
lookspotty.”Welike
Tweezerman’sfacialhair
scissors;roundedtipsmake
thejobeasier.
tweezerman.com
THE FOUR
SMARTEST WAYS
TO ACHIEVE A
PERFECT FIT
Evenanaffordablesuitcan
lookcustomwithjustalittle
extraeffort.Buyitasizetoo
bigandhaveittailoredto
yourbody,saysdesigner
StanleyHudson,aformer
ProjectRunwaycontestant.
Zeroinonthesetelltale
details.
Shoulder the
Burden
Nomatterwhatthejacket
costs,theshoulderseams
shouldsitdirectlyabovethe
edgeofyourshoulders,says
Hudson.“Getitrightwhile
you’reatthestore.They’re
impossibletoalter.”
Frame Yourself
Thejacketshouldskimyour
frameandbeneithertoo
loosenortootight.Yourfist
shouldfitbetweenthetop
buttonandyourbody,but
youcangoassnugastwo
fingersforamodernfit.
Slim Down
Yourtrousersshouldtaperto
7to7½inchesseam-to-seam,
Hudsonsays.Astockierguy
cangoaninchortwowider,
andonlyreallyskinnyguys
willwantanextremelyslim
fit.
Button It Up
Priceysuitsoftenhave
functionalbuttonsonthe
sleeves.“It’sworth
convertingyoursifyouwear
French-cuffshirts,”Hudson
says.Leaveoneortwo
undoneandlettheboss
notice.
WHEN TO
CHANGE YOUR
RAZOR BLADE
Gillettesayseveryfiveto
sevenuses—butthecompany
hastosellalotofrazorsto
payforthePats’stadium.
Youcansavesomedough
andextendthatto2to4
weeksifyousoftenyour
facialhairwithhotwaterand
lather.
KEEP YOUR SKIN
FROM CRACKING
Womenhatedry,cracked
hands—ontheirmen,too.
Softenthemupandyou’ll
lookinstantlyyounger.Our
skinisnaturallyacidto
protectagainstbacteria,says
AdnanNasir,MD,PhD,
adjunctassistantprofessorof
dermatologyatUNCChapel
Hill.Manysoapsarealkaline,
though,sotheystripaway
protectiveoils.Solookfora
soapthat’spHbalancedor
onethatlistslacticacidor
glycolicacidamongthefirst
halfofitsingredients.
AGE-PROOF YOUR
EYES
Wrinkled,baggy,ordarkskin
aroundyoureyescanmake
youlookyearsolderthanyou
are.Sosavethemnow.We
askeddermatologistsJoel
Schlessinger,MD,andAriel
Ostad,MD,forDIY
solutions.Here’stheiradvice:
Peel a Potato
Why:Potatostarchhasantiinflammatoryproperties,so
it’sgoodforsoothingredness
andirritation.
Dothis:Peelandgratearaw
potato,andthenmashitand
wrapitinacleandishcloth.
Liedownandplacethepouch
onyoureyesfor15minutes.
Use Your Ring
Finger
Why:It’sweakerthanyour
pointerfinger.Touchingyour
eyeswithyourstrongerfinger
tendstostretchtheskin.
Dothis:Tostopanitchor
applycream,lightlytapyour
eyeareawithyourring
finger.
Eat Healthy Meals
Why:Themoresaltand
boozeyouconsume,themore
fluidsyouretain,puffingyour
eyes.
Dothis:Cutbackonboth—
andsugar,too.Ahigh-sugar
dietcangenerateharmful
moleculesthatdamage
collagen,leadingtowrinkles.
Sleep on Your
Back
Why:Ifyou'reonyourside
orstomach,thepressureof
yourheadagainstthepillow
forhourscancause
permanentcreasesaround
youreyes.
Dothis:Trysleepingfaceup
andaddanextrapillowto
preventfluidfrompoolingin
yourface.
Don’t Squint
Why:Theskinaroundyour
eyesisuptoone-thirtieththe
thicknessoftheskinonyour
palms.Habitualsquintingcan
forgedeepcrevices.
Dothis:Wearshades
outdoors.Ifyouwearregular
glasses,keepyour
prescriptionuptodate.
Wear Tea
Why:Green,black,and
chamomileteashave
astringentsthatconstrict
bloodvesselsandpullskin
taut.
Dothis:Steeptwobags,let
themcool,wrapeachina
cleandishcloth,liedown,and
placeabagovereachclosed
eyefor5to15minutes.
HOW TO PLAY
WITH PATTERNS
Mostmensticktosolidshirts
andpatternedties,butthe
inverseisjustaseasytopull
off.Thesizeofpatternsand
thicknessoftexturesdictate
howpiecesshouldbepaired.
Whenpairingashirtwitha
largepattern,choose
somethingmoresubtlein
yourtieandviceversa.
Startwithastatement
patternlikeafloralandrepeat
itonasmallerscaleor
subdueitbyaddingasolid
color.Forexample,solid
trousersordarkjeanstone
downaboldstripedjacket
withaprintedshirt.Ifthat’s
tooextreme,trytovarythe
textureofyourclothes
instead—likeasolid-colored
shirtinanunexpectedfabric,
suchaslinenordenim.
MATCH YOUR
COLLAR
Option 1: The Point
Recommendedsuit
Italiantwo-buttonpeaklapel
withsidevents
Recommendedknot
Four-in-handorhalfWindsor
Option 2: The Spread
Recommendedsuit
Englishthree-buttonnotchlapelsuitwithsidevents
Recommendedknot
WindsorordoubleWindsor
Option 3: The Button-Down
Recommendedsuit
ClassicAmericantwo-button
notchlapelwithsinglevent
Recommendedknot
halfWindsor
FAST FIXES FOR
STYLE
EMERGENCIES
Get rid of shirt nipples.
Youtookyourpolooffthe
hangerandputiton.Nowthe
mirrorreflectswhatsuggests
you’vegrownperkynibson
yourdeltoids.Removethem
bymoisteningyourfingers
andrubbingthemonthe
protrusionsuntiltheshirtis
wet.Whenitdries,the
nippleswillbegone.
Straighten a curling
collar.Lostacollarstay
fromyourshirtatwork?
Replaceitwithalargepaper
cliptocarryyouthroughthe
restofdaywithoutacurled
collar.
Uncrease your tie.Drape
yourtieovertheclosetbarin
theeveningtoletthecreases
relax.Thenrollitandstoreit
inadrawerinsteadofusinga
tierack.Gravitydeformsties.
Find your mark fast.The
tipofyourtieshouldreach
justbelowyourbelt.Itcanbe
challengingtogetitright
everytime.Asacheat,usea
permanentmarkertomakea
tinydotonthebackofthe
wideblademarkinghowlow
thenarrowendshouldhang
whenyoustarttyingtheknot.
Get more mileage out of
your jeans.Theywon’t
fadeasfastifyouturnthe
jeansinsideoutbefore
washing.
Get more mileage out of
your trousers.Iftheyare
wrinkledbadly,havethem
professionallysteamed.Drycleaningtoooftendestroys
fabric.Suitpantsshouldbe
dry-cleanedonlyonceor
twiceaseason.
Put GQ in your shoes.If
you’reonabusinesstripand
leftyourcedarshoetreesat
home,rolluptwomagazines
andslipthemintoyourshoes
intheevening.They’ll
expandtosmoothoutthe
leatherandreshapewhilethe
paperwillabsorbtheday’s
footsweat.
Shine savers.Threeways
tosavethedayifyourshoes
lookdullandscuffedbut
there’snoshoeshineshopor
kitaround:(1)Getscuff
marksoffshoesbyapplyinga
littletoothpastetoaragand
buffingoutthescuffs.(2)In
anemergency,rubleather
shoeswiththeinsideofa
bananapeel.Thencleanand
buffthesurfacewithacloth
orpapertowel.(3)Spraya
littleArmorAllleather
cleaneronasoftcloth.Now
pretendyou’rewearing
Pirellisonyourfeetand
quicklybuffthoseItaliansto
ahighshine.
Shave with olive oil.Out
ofshavingcream?Massagea
glugofoliveoilintoyour
beard.Youmaynevergo
back.
THE RULES OF
PAIRING SHIRTS
AND TIES
Nothingfreaksaguyout
moreinthemorningthan
selectingatietogowithhis
shirt.Butdifferentpatterns
andtexturescanlookstylish
—ifyoufollowthisguide.
Sophisticated Look
WHYITWORKS:The
dominantcolorsinbothshirt
andtiearethesametone,but
notaperfectmatch.The
fleckedtextureofthewooltie
providesacontrastwiththe
shirt’sclassicwindowpane.
Conservative Look
WHYITWORKS:Stripes
andcheckscanworkwhen
theshirtandtiesharea
commoncolor.Makesure
oneofthetwoisbolderthan
theother.
Casual Look
WHYITWORKS:The
biggerthechecks,themore
casualtheshirt.Matchthat
feelingwithatexturedtieina
looseknot.Tomakeitmore
formal,switchthetiefora
silkoneandtightentheknot.
Women
More Useful Than
Your GoodLooking Friend’s
Little Black Book,
This is Your
Manual to the
Female Species
Somuchismadeoftryingto
find,attract,andunderstand
women—andforgood
reason.Ofallaman’s
adventures,identifyingthe
rightfemaleandwooingher
canbeoneoflife’smost
challengingandexciting.For
anaptanalogy,consider
uplandbirdhuntingfor
woodcock.Evenbetter,the
ruffedgrouse.Theruffed
grouseisthemostwaryand
cunningofalllandgame
birdsfoundinthenorthern
UnitedStates.It’swildand
shy,risingandfleeingswiftly
usuallylongbeforethehunter
isinrange,oftentaking
refugeintheladies’room
—er,thebranchesofatree.
Successwiththeruffed
grouserequiresmuchpractice
andskillonthepartofits
pursuer,butatleastthe
grousehunterhasan
advantage—histrusty
pointersandsetters.Whenit
comestopursuingwomen,
youcantryusingyourfriends
toflush’em.Butyou’re
mostlyonyourown.
Fortunately,Men’sHealth
hasbeenhelpingreadersfind,
attract,andunderstand
womenformorethan25
years.That’salotofwisdom
tohelpyoutrytoanswerthat
elusivequestion—WhatDo
WomenWant?—andmuchof
itcanbefoundonthe
followingpages.
HOW TO PICK UP
WOMEN
(WITH YOUR DIGNITY AND YOUR
LUMBAR DISCS INTACT)
Prepare for Liftoff
Ifyou’reright-handed,
approachyourgal’sleftside.
(Reversethesedirectionsif
you’realefty.)Placeyour
rightarmacrossthemiddleof
herback.Nowpushyourhips
backasyoubendatyour
knees.Placeyourleftarm
acrossthebackofherknees.
Haveherpositionherleft
handonyourrightshoulder
tohelpwithstabilization.
Secure Your Core
Tightenyourabsasmuchas
youcan—asifsomeonewere
goingtopunchyouinthe
stomach.(Thisstabilizesyour
torso,whichkeepsyourback
safe.)Inonemotion,liftyour
bride:Pushyourhipsforward
andstraightenyourknees
whilemaintainingastraight
back.Aswithliftingany
heavyobject,yourlegsdothe
work.
Let Her Down Easy
Standingstraightwith
tightenedabs,walkacrossthe
threshold.Tobringherback
downtoearth,reversethe
liftingmotion.Keepyour
backstraightasyoupush
yourhipsback,bendyour
knees,andguideherfeetto
thefloor.Makesureto
supporthertorsowithyour
righthandsoshedoesn’tfall.
Rule #1
You’re 227 percent more likely
to meet a potential girlfriend
through a friend or family
member rather than in a bar, at
the gym, or on the street.
HOW TO DATE
OUT OF YOUR
LEAGUE
ThesecretliesinthetwoCs:
confidenceandcompliment,
saysBartonGoldsmith,PhD,
authorof100WaystoBoost
YourSelf-Confidence.
Pump Yourself Up
You’renervousbecauseyou
thinkshecanseeyourfaults.
Guesswhat?She’llseethem
onlyifyoushowthemtoher.
Sobeforeyouapproachher,
takeaminuteortwotoboost
yourownconfidence:
Remindyourselfwhyyou
rockandthenvisualizethose
traitsfrontandcenterasyou
interactwithher.Doyou
haveanamazingsenseof
humor?Visualizeher
laughing,andthattalentmay
bemorelikelytobreak
through.Dashingblueeyes?
Seeherstaringintothem.
Ease into
Conversation
Waitforanopportunetimeto
approachherone-on-one
(whenherfriendgoestothe
bathroom,orshestepsupto
thejukeboxalone).Youdon’t
wanttointerruptorsurprise
her;that’llputheronthe
defensive.Asyouinitiate
conversation,keepyour
shouldersbackandhandsat
yoursides—awarm,
welcomingstance.Openwith
apolite“Excuseme...”
insteadofanintrusive“Hey”
or“What’sup?”
Say Something
Nice
Apickupartistmighttellyou
thatabackhanded
complimentwillpiquea
woman’sinterestbecause
she’salreadyheardallthe
nicecompliments.Don’t
believeit:Youjusthaveto
usetherightcompliment.
Insteadofcommentingona
physicaltrait,likehereyes,
askheraboutthatfunkypiece
ofjewelryorcoolT-shirt.
Thisdivertstheconversation
fromher,whichshe’ll
appreciate,andheranswer
willprovidejumping-off
pointsformoretopics.
Seal the Deal
Becauseyouapproachedher,
it’syourresponsibilityto
profferyournumberfirst.
Giveherareasonfor
contactingher:“Ifyoureally
wanttocatchthatnewWes
Andersonmovie,whydon’tI
textyounextweekendwhen
it’sout?”You’llreinforcethe
factthatyou’reinterestedin
herwhilekeepingthetalk
cool,confident,andcasual.
WHAT HER PAST
SAYS
Womenwhohavelow
intimacylevelsincollege
maybemorelikelytodivorce
laterinlife,accordingtoa
studyinPersonal
Relationships.When
researchersattheUniversity
ofMassachusettsatAmherst
trackeddown167peoplewho
hadtakenapsychologicaltest
34yearsearlier,theyfound
thecorrelation—onlyamong
women.Womentendtotake
amoreactiverolethanmen
inmaintainingacouple’s
closeness,soarelationshipin
whichthewomanshowsless
intimacymaybemorelikely
tofalter,saysstudyauthor
MarkWeinberger,PhD.
Rule #2
Look up. The direction of a
woman’s gaze could reveal
her intentions, a study in
Psychological Science shows.
Using photographs and eyetracking devices, researchers
found that someone who’s
romantically interested in a
stranger fixates more on the
face. If it’s pure lust, the eyes
tend to target the body. These
eye patterns—in men and
women alike—were
perceptible within a second
and a half.
WHAT TO DO
WHEN HER NAME
SLIPS YOUR MIND
Isthatyou,Mulva?
Forgettinghappens.Instead
ofaskingagain,coaxherto
tellyouastory,saysJosh
Piven,coauthorofTheWorstCaseScenarioSurvival
Handbook:DatingandSex.
Whatwasherchildhood
nickname?Wasshenamed
afteranyone?Iftheanswer
doesn’tshedlight,be
creative.Makeupanickname
forherorthinkofsomething
coolyoureadrecentlyand
tellheraboutit.Thenofferto
e-mailittoher.Heraddress
willprobablycontainaclue
tohername.
THE SHAGGY
MARRIAGE
COUNSELOR
Whathasfourlegs,drools,
andlowersbloodpressure?A
dog,accordingtoastudyin
theJournalofPsychosomatic
Medicine.Researchers
analyzed240couples,halfof
whomownedapet.Intimes
ofstress,coupleswhowere
petownershadlowerblood
pressuresandheartratesthan
petlesscouples,the
researcherssay,suggesting
thatpetshaveacalming
effectoncouples.
WILL SHE GO
HOME WITH YOU?
Toughtopredictwhenher
husbandkeepsinterrupting,
buttherearewaystoknow
whatshe’sreallythinking.
SomecluesfromTonya
Reiman,authorofTheBody
LanguageofDating.
You Think the Girl
at the Bar Is
Interested
Do this:Glanceatherfeet.
Peoplesubconsciouslymove
towardtheirdesires.Her
upperbodymightnotbe
turnedtowardyou,butifher
feetarepointedatyou,she’s
subconsciouslypositioned
herselfinyourdirection.Go
on,say“hi.”
It Looks like She
Wants to Kiss, but
You’re Not Sure
Do this:Takealookather
lips.She’lltouchandlick
themmorethanusual.Andif
she’sintoyou,it’sperfectly
okaytostare—justmakesure
you’restaringathereyes,not
justherlips.Now,quick,
seizetheopportunity!
She Says She’s
Not Mad, but You
Suspect Otherwise
Do this:Watchherjawline.
She’llinstinctivelycloseher
mouthandtightenherjaw
whenshe’sangry.Ifshe’s
perfectedherpokerface,
checkherhands.Ifshe’s
clutchingherknucklesor
somethingelse,lethercool
off.
You’re Not Sure
She Loves Your
Gift
Do this:Lookwhereshe
putsthegoods.Ifshereally
likesthegift,she’llspend
timewithit.Ifsheremovesit
fromsight,don’tact
apologetic.Mentionwhyyou
boughtitforher,whichwill
emphasizeyour
thoughtfulness.
BUY THE
PERFECT GIFT
EVERY TIME
Streamlineyourshoppingby
askingyourselfthesefour
questionsfirst.
1. “What did we
talk about last?”
“Peoplearealwaysdropping
ideas,”saysLashFary,who
createsgiftbasketsfor
Hollywoodevents.Hertrain
commutesucks?Buyheran
iTunesgiftcard.Shejust
signedupforayogaclass?
Buyheramatforhome.
2. “Can I tie in a
personal
experience?”
Youknowwhat’sbetterthan
thatiTunesgiftcard?Oneto
arestaurantyou’vebeento
together.“Usenostalgiato
youradvantage,”saysFary.
“Thethoughtfulnessbehindit
willmakeasmallgiftseem
bigger.”
3. “What does he
or she do
regularly?”
Can’tthinkofanything?
Thenyou’renottryinghard
enough,saysFary.Think
aboutit:Yourwifebrews
coffeeeverymorning.Your
brotherhikeseveryweek.
Yourbuddyhastwodogs.
Yourlistwritesitself!
4. “What’s the
purpose of this
gift?”
Ifyoucan’tanswerthis
question,keepshopping.
“Ultimately,”saysFary,
“giftsshouldbeareflection
ofhowwellyouknowthe
needsofthepersonyou’re
buyingthemfor.”
ShamelessPickup
Trick:BeABaby
Magnet
Shemaygogagaoveryouifyoutry
somebabytalk—thatis,when
directedatanactualbaby,notthe
babe.WomeninaFrenchstudy
were28percentmorelikelytogive
theirnumbertoaguyifhecooed
oversomeone’sinfant.
TRY GROUP PLAY
Thinkshemightturndown
thatdate?Offertobring
friends.Accordingtoa
DatingAdvice.comsurveyof
morethan1,000people,over
aquarterofsingleladies
prefertheirfirstdatestobein
groups.Bonus:Youjust
fixedupyourfriends.
FeelingLightheaded?
Ittakesabout3ouncesof
bloodtomakeyourpenis
erect.
HELP A LADY
WITH HER COAT
PREP
Toavoidanelbowtothe
face,firstask,“MayIhelp
youwithyourcoat?”
PUTTING IT ON
STEP1
Standaboutafootbehindher,
andslightlytoherrightif
she’sright-handed.Holdher
coatopenjustaboveherwaist
—anyhigherandshe’llhave
toperformarmhole
acrobatics.Spreadyourarms
wide,openingthejacket.
STEP2
Afterherarmsslipin,pullthe
rightsideofthecoattoward
hershoulderandthenextend
theleftsideoutaroundwaist
height.Pulltheleftsideover
hershoulder.
STEP3
Giveheraquicksqueezeon
theshoulderstoshow
affection.Nowbackaway
andletherpullherhairout
fromunderthecollarherself.
Messingwithawoman’s
hairstyleisdangerous.
TAKING IT OFF
STEP1
Assheshrugsoffhercoat,
standbehindhertocatchitas
itslidesfromhershoulders.If
youpullitoff,you’llalsopull
herarmsback.Nothelpful.
STEP2
Tuckherscarfhalfwayinto
oneofhercoatsleevesbefore
handingthecoattothe
attendantsoit’sthereforher
return.
Q: IS THERE ANY
SCIENCE
BACKING UP
PHEROMONES
AND HOW THEY
ATTRACT
WOMEN?
A.Sorry,fellas,butashower
andasmilewillgoalot
fartherwiththeladiesthan
yoursweatyarmpits.The
notionofsex-attracting
pheromoneswasfirst
propounded50yearsago,
whenascientistnoticedthat
malemothsstayedupwindto
attractfemalemothswith
theirscent.Thisistruefor
moths,butnosuch
phenomenonhaseverbeen
showntoapplytohumans,
saysCharlesWysocki,PhD,a
neuroscientistattheMonell
ChemicalSensesCenterin
Philadelphia.
“Thereisnobiomedical
literaturetosupporttheclaim
thathumansuseattraction
pheromones,”hesays.
THE MONET SHOT
Forearmsarepackedwith
pleasurenervesthatrespond
besttoatouchtraveling
between1and10centimeters
persecond,scientistsreport
inthejournalNature
Neuroscience.These“Ctactile”nervefibers(also
foundonthelegsandface)
sendsignalstothelimbic
system,anareaofthebrain
associatedwithtrustand
affection.Forbestresults—
whetherwithyourwifeof10
yearsorafirstdate—gainher
attentionwithabriefstroke,
usingtheforceofanartist’s
brush.
Fact:
Only 18 percent of women are
able to recognize when a man
is flirting with them.
GIVE HER A
GREAT BACK
MASSAGE
Likegreatsex,agreat
massagerequiresawarmup,
varyingintensities,anda
cooldown.Readytostart?
Hereareyourmoves.
Move 1: The Circle
Back
Makecirclesinopposite
directionswithbothpalms,
slowlymovingalloverher
backandshoulders.Varythe
sizeofthecirclesandthe
pressureyouapplyasyou
moveupanddownherback.
Periodicallyswitchthe
directionofyourcircles.
Becausethismoveisless
intense,it’sagoodonefor
startingandendingthe
massage.
Move 2: The Heart
Warmer
Placeyourhandsoneachside
ofherlowerbackabouthalf
aninchfromherspine,and
gentlyleanintoyourpalms.
Applyingpressure,glideyour
handsupherbacktoherneck
andthenoutwardalongher
shoulderblades.Continuing
themotion,bringyourhands
tothestartposition,
completingaheart-shaped
route.
Move 3: The Spine
Tingler
Startingatherlowerback,
placeyourthumbsoneach
sideofherspineandslowly
rubyourthumbsintothe
muscles,avoidingdirect
contactwithherspine.
Alternatehands,spendinga
fewsecondsineachspot
beforemovingyourthumbs
upaninch.Worktohernape
andthenbackdown.Repeat
themovementseveraltimes.
Move 4: Bring It
Home
Aimfora15-minutesession.
She’llbeplentyrelaxed—and
youwon’tdevelopmuscle
cramps.Tobringthemassage
toagentleconclusion,place
yourhandsinthecenterof
herbackandholdthemthere
for10seconds.Thenleave
theroomforaminuteortwo
soshecancomebackto
reality.Acceptherhigh
praises.
PASS HER
GOOGLE EXAM
ThereadersofWomen’s
Healthclueusintosearchresultgaffes.
A Barren LinkedIn
Ofthewomensurveyed41
percentwouldscanyour
profile.Evolutionhaswired
themtoseekcompetent
males,sayHelenFisher,PhD,
soplayupyourcareer
successes.
Friday Night Pics
Some62percentdislike
partyingphotos.Sure,tag
pictureswithfriends,but
brewingthebeer,notdoing
kegstands,saysflirting
expertJeffreyHall,PhD.
Lame One-Liners
Beingtrulyfunnycan
enhanceyourattractiveness
online,thesurveyrevealed.
Butmakesureyourjokes
don’tallstartwith“I”or
criticizeotherpeople,Hall
says.
An Outdated Blog
Deleteanypotentially
embarrassingcontent,
hopefullybeforesheseesit.
Thenlookup“Google
removaltool”fordetailson
scrubbingthosesearch
results.
PICKUP TRICKS:
GO LOW
Dropyourvoiceandshemay
dropherinhibitions.Women
perceivemenwithdeep
voicesasmoreattractive,
accordingtoastudyinthe
journalPersonalityand
IndividualDifferences.
(Sorry,youwon’tfindthat
oneatBarnes&Noble.)
Rule #3
Simplest way to be romantic:
Shave on the weekend.
HOW TO WRITE A
LOVE LETTER
Nothingstirspassionlikepen
onpaper—aslongasyou
don’ttrytosoundlikeLionel
Richie.Shewantstohear
you,sowritelikeyoutalk—
goofyvoiceandall,says
SamaraO’Shea,authorof
FortheLoveofLetters.Tell
herwhyyou’rewriting(“I’ve
beenthinkingaboutusalot”)
andtouchonacoupleof
greatmemories.Then
transitiontothepresent:(“Six
yearslaterI’mstillcrazy
aboutyou.”)Listafewthings
youloveabouther,teaseher
gentlyaboutsomethingthat
drivesyounuts(“There’sno
one’sshoesI’drathertrip
over”)andclosewithasignoff(“love,Joe”).Placethe
notesomewheresurprising
likeacoatpocketor,ifyou
livetogether,yourown
mailbox.Thenstandbyfor
someenthusiastically
requitedaffection.
61:
Percentageofwomenwho
saytheywishtheirpartner
wasmorespontaneous
PICK FLOWERS
SHE’LL LOVE
Whendealingwithwomen,
flowersareyourbestbuds.
Weaskedmorethan350
womenwhichflowersthey’d
wantfordifferentoccasions.
Thenwecheckedinwith
KateLaw,headfloral
designeratProFlowers,for
somecreativeupgrades.
Come Up Roses
Whenwomenarelookingfor
romance—forValentine’s
Day,say—redroseswin
everytime.Butthat’snotto
sayyoucan’tstillsurprise
her.
Upgrade:Insteadofcheaplookingbaby’sbreath,
supplementherbouquetwith
greenFujimums,andchoose
pinkrosesoverexpectedred.
Slip Her the ’Lips
Womenwepolledsaidthey’d
liketoreceivetulipsforan
accomplishment,suchasa
promotion.Tulipsaresimple
butthoughtful,saysLaw.
Upgrade:Tulipsareelegant.
Lawsuggestsshowcasing
theminaglassvase,withthe
stemscutsotheflowersrest
justabovethelip.
Seek Out Lily
Liliesrankedhighon
birthdaylists.They’re
celebratoryblooms.
Upgrade:Foraclassiclook,
gowithasolidbouquetof
onecolor—andaskfortango
lilies.Theyhaveburstsof
colorthroughouttheirpetals,
whichgivethemaunique,
sophisticatedappeal.
Wait a While
There’sonetimewhena
womanprobablydoesn’t
wantyoutogiveherflowers:
thefirstdate.Whileyoumay
thinktheofferisthoughtful
andsurprising,mostwomen
willthinkyou’rejusttrying
toohard.Thevastmajorityof
womenweaskedadvised
arrivingwithoutabouquet.
PLAN THE
PERFECT V-DAY
Charmyourpartner’sheartor
transformanewflinginto
morebywayofCupid’s
arrow.TrytheseValentine’s
Daydatesforany,andevery,
partofyourrelationship.
A New Couple
Skipthepredictabledinnerin
favoroflow-pressurefunlike
indoorminigolf.Letherkick
yourassandthenschedulea
rematchtokeepthe
momentum.
A Few Months In
Buildyourbondbygiving
back—cleaningupalocal
park,say.Finishthedayand
keeptheteamworkgoingby
cookingathome.Don’t
forgetabottleofred.
Nearly Engaged
Re-createyourfirstdate.Add
thoughtfuldetails,like
wearingthesameshirtyou
hadonthatday.Youmight
justinspirehertorevisitthe
lingeriedrawer.
Married
Beatouristinyourowncity.
Yes,thatmeansyou’llneed
totakethatdouble-deckerbus
ride.You’llseeyourtown—
andyourmate—inabrand-
newlight.
HOW TO BUY
LINGERIE
WITHOUT
EMBARRASSING
YOURSELF
We’veallbeenthere:
dawdlingamidtheteddies
andgarterbelts,eyeingwhat
otherwomenarebuying.
Here’salesscreepywayto
shopforsexybitsfora
woman,accordingtoJennifer
Carroll,authorofUnderneath
ItAll.
Be a Bra Detective
Avoidthehand-cuppingand
“they’reaboutthisbig”
descriptionsbynotingafew
ofherbraandpantysizes.In
doubt?Askher!There’sno
biggerbuzzkillthanasexy
giftshecan’tslipinto5
minuteslater.
Consider Her
Shape
Intherightoutfit,shecango
fromlovelytostunning.
Thinkaboutherbest
attributesandusetheguide
belowtochoosethebeststyle
forherbodytype.
Recruit Help
Headfortheoldestemployee
—she’llbemoresensitiveto
specificslikeapaunchor
smallbreasts.Tellheryour
gal’ssizeandstyle,andshe’ll
helpnarrowthesearch.
EmphasizeHerAssets
HER
KEY
IDEAL
ASSETS STYLES
Baby doll, short
nightie, braand-panties set.
Long
A thighlegs
Big
chest
skimming style
adds emphasis
to legs.
Sheer bra,
chemise with
built-in cups
and underwire.
A sheer bra
flaunts her
assets; built-in
cups support
her bust.
Sheer
camisole-andpanties set;
lacy bra (no
underwire). APetite
breasts or B-size
breasts don’t
need the
support of
underwires.
Three-piece
bra, panties,
and garter set.
Flat
This sexy trio
stomach draws attention
to her trimmed
tummy.
Great
butt
Lacy tanga
panties or boy
shorts.
Peekaboo cut
accentuates her
curves more
than a G-string.
BUY A BRA
SHE’LL WEAR
1. Size Her Up
WhatisVictoria’ssecret?
“Thebrandtendstoundersize
itsbras,”saysplasticsurgeon
BradleyBengtson,MD.This
cancreateconfusionforyou,
theguybuyinghisGFabra.
“Writedownthesizesof
threebrasyouseeherweara
lot,”saysAlexisIsadora,
ownerofBrooklynFox,a
lingerieshop.“Gowiththe
middlesize.”
2. Choose a Cut
Themostpopularbrastyle
amongwomen:fullcoverage.
Stepoutofthatcomfortzone:
ForanAorBcup,tryademi
style.ForCorlarger,choose
amoresupportivethreequartercup.Onerule:Resist
paddedpush-upbras.“These
areBarbie-dollculture,”says
Isadora.“Thepointistofeel
sexy,nottofitastereotype.”
3. Pay Attention to
the Details
Cluelessaboutcolor?“Black
isalwaysasafebet,”says
Isadora.“Ialsolovethe
‘sweet’look—abeautiful
whitelaceorcottonbra.”
Ventureintored,leopard,or
neononlyifyouseesimilarly
wildstylesinherdrawer.If
you’regoinglacy,springfor
high-qualitysemisheer
Frenchlingerie,likeAubade.
FLIRT LIKE A PRO
Seducewithstimulating
conversationandthesetips
fromDanielMenaker,author
ofMyMistakeandAGood
Talk:TheStoryandSkillof
Conversation.
Take Your Cue
First,findoutifsheeven
wantstoflirt.Isshegiving
youeyecontact?Asmile?
Teasingyou?Dothesame
backather.Butdon’tpoke
funatherhair,height,or
physicaltraits.Heroutfitisa
safertarget.(“AJetshat?So
you’reintolosers,huh?”)
Make a Connection
Ifyoufeelyou’reona
reparteeroll,shiftthetalk.
Askwhatshethinksofthe
bartender’shaircut,orcracka
jokeabouttherowdyfana
fewrowsdown—anyother
“thirdthing”thattakesthe
pressureoffthetwoofyou.
Plus,you’llhaveaninside
joketouselater.Speakingof
which...
Close the Deal
Ifshe’sintoyou,she’llbe
askingyouquestionsand
followingupwithmore
personalanswers.Askforher
number.Giveherareasonfor
stayingintouch:“I’dliketo
trythatThaiplaceyou
mentioned.Whydon’tItext
younextweekend?”
4 THINGS TO
NEVER SAY TO A
NAKED WOMAN
“There’ssomethingreally
weirdIwanttotrywithyou.”
“Thatorgasmseemedas
phonyasCheezWhiz.”
“Notnow,thanks.Thisbook
isreallygettinggood.”
“Isthatsupposedtofeel
good?”
DELIVER A HOT
FRENCH KISS
Makehersay“oohlala!”
withthesethreesimplesteps
fromJustinR.Garcia,PhD,a
researcherattheKinsey
InstituteforResearchinSex,
Gender,andReproduction,
andWilliamCane,authorof
TheArtofKissing.
Lead Her On
Don’tgoinalltongue
wagging.
Infact,don’tstartthekissby
kissingatall.Stimulateher
secondaryerogenouszones
byusingyourhandstosoftly
touchherneck,jawline,or
hair.Thisprolongsthe
anticipation.
Build the Mood
Hotkissesstartslowlyand
intensify.Beginbykissing
herlowerlipsoftly.Shecan
breatheeasierwhenyoudo
this,whichmeansshecan
controlthekiss.Whenyou
feelherexcitementbuilding,
lightlytouchthetipofher
tonguewithyours.Thetip
hasmorenerveendingsthan
almostanyotherpartofthe
body.
Put Your Body into
It
Asthekissheatsup,step
towardhertowhereshecan
rubyourbackandpullyou
evencloser.Toheatthings
up,openyourmouthwiderto
letherinvolvehertongue
more.Graduallyaddquicker
soft-tonguemovements.
Don’tforgetaboutyour
mouth’sotherpower:giving
hercompliments.Youcan
extendandintensifythekiss
bypausingtowhisper
endearmentsinherear,after
whichyoucansegueinto
neckkisses.
MARRIAGE, WITH
BENEFITS
Ifyou’resusceptibletovice,
findawife.She’llsaveyou
fromyourself—andimprove
yourlife—inavarietyof
ways.Notably,she’ll...
1. Increase Your
Pay
AVirginiaCommonwealth
Universitystudyfoundthat
marriedmenearn22percent
morethantheirsimilarly
experiencedbutsingle
colleagues.
2. Speed Up Your
Next Promotion
Marriedmenreceivehigher
performanceratingsand
fasterpromotionsthan
bachelors,astudyofU.S.
Navyofficersreported.
3. Keep You Out of
Trouble
AccordingtoaU.S.
DepartmentofJusticereport,
malevictimsofviolentcrime
arenearlyfourtimesmore
likelytobesinglethan
married.Andofcourse,
singleguyswindupinjail
muchmoreoften.
4. Help You Beat
Cancer
InaNorwegianstudy,
divorcedandnever-married
malecancerpatientshad11
and16percenthigher
mortalityrates,respectively,
thanmarriedmen.
5. Help You Live
Longer
AUCLAstudyfoundthat
peopleingenerallyexcellent
healthwere88percentmore
likelytodieoverthe8-year
studyperiodiftheywere
single.
Rule #4
Good kissing trumps
personality and looks for
women considering a longterm relationship, according to
a study in the journal
Evolutionary Psychology.
MAKE THE FIRST
MOVE
Don’tbeshyonline.Your
chancesoflandingalooker
onadatingsiteincreaseif
youinitiatecontactinsteadof
waitingtobechosen,
accordingtoareportinthe
JournalofMarriageand
Family.Why?Everybody
takesashotatsomeone
hotter.Soifshereachesout
toyou,you’relikelytobethe
moreattractivepartner,and
viceversa,saysleadstudy
authorDerekKreager,PhD.
About80percentofmen’s
messagesgounanswered,
probablybecauseeveryone’s
afterthesamepeople.Sotry
yourluckwiththatstunner,
butalsocontactwomenwith
lessdazzle—andmorespace
intheirin-boxes.
VACATIONS THAT
TURN HER ON
1. Tropicalbeach
2. Europeantour
3. Bed-and-breakfastinthe
country
4. Triptowinecountry
5. Cruise
VACATIONS THAT
TURN HER OFF
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Safari
Gamblingtrip
Charitywork
Wedding
Themepark
Source:Pollof327womenby
TripAdvisor
GET HER NUMBER
WITH MAGIC
The principle:Magicians
knowthataudiences“see”the
samethingsdifferently.
“That’sbecausethereareno
absolutesforthebrain,”says
neuroscientistSusana
Martiez-Conde,PhD.Your
mindperceivesthingsbased
oncontext,eitheractualor
implied.Thisisthebasisfor
manyillusions.Youjustneed
tocreatetherightcontext,
saysmagicianFrancis
Menotti.
How to use it:Trythistrick
thenexttimeyou’reatabar
andwanttobreaktheicewith
awoman.Sketchtheimage
aboveonapieceofpaperand
askwhatshesees.Itcanbe
viewedaseitheraduckora
rabbit,butpeopleusuallysee
one,nottheother.Ifshesees
arabbit,tellheryoucan
transformthepicture—
withouttouchingit—before
herveryeyes.Thensaytwo
magicwords:“quack,quack,”
andshe’llseetheduck.“You
caninfluencepeoplewith
psychologicalsubtleties,”
saysMenotti.Andifshesees
theduck?Say“BugsBunny.”
Presto!You’vemadeher
smile.
FOUR DATES YOU
SHOULD NEVER
FORGET
TherapistRoberTaibbi,
LCSW,suggestsafewsubtle
celebrationstoearmark.
When You Meet
Pullupastoolatthepizza
jointwhereyoufirstflirted,
saysTaibbi.Ordoonebetter:
Makethepieathomeand
skipdealingwiththegrouchy
counterguy.
Her Big Promotion
Shekilledit,soraiseaglass,
saysTaibbi.Try:“Iknewthis
wouldbeabigchangeand
hardwork,butit’spaidoff.
I’mproudofyou.”Nowpop
thatbubbly.
When You Moved
In
Surpriseherwithanupgrade
toyourabode:Plantatreein
theyard,buythatpieceofart
she’shadhereyeon,or
springforluxurysheets.
(Thentest’emout!)
Her Mom’s
Birthday
Cute,right?Butseriously:
Helphermomkickback,and
maybetossinthatnewbook
shewants,andyoucouldearn
apowerfulally.
HOW TO ARGUE
AND WIN
What’stheargumentabout?
A. The In-Laws
SAY THIS:“Let’sgooutside
forafewminutes.”
WHY THIS WORKS:
Takingawalkwithheror
snugglinguponalawnchair
willremindherthat,atthe
endoftheday,it’sjustthe
twoofyou.Worryabout
whatworksforyou—notfor
yourparents.
B. Trivial Matters
SAY THIS:”Iknowyou’re
upsetabout[whatever],butit
feelslikethere’ssomething
elsegoingon.Let’stalk
abouttheotherstuff.”
WHY THIS WORKS:Ifyou
thinkshe’soverreacting,a
largerissueisprobably
fuelingherrage.That’swhat
youneedtoknowabout—and
calmlyaddress.
C. Parenting
SAY THIS:“Weneedtofind
abalancebetweenbeingstrict
andflexible.Whendoyou
thinkweshouldbeflexible?”
WHY THIS WORKS:Firm
andflexibleparentingstyles
cancoexist—aslongasyou
acttogetherasateam.Noone
shouldalwaysbethebadguy.
D. Hell if I Know . . .
SAY THIS:“Okay,let’s
focus.Whatareafewthings
wecoulddodifferently
here?”
WHY THIS WORKS:
Sometimesshejustneedsto
ventgeneraldissatisfaction.
Directingyourenergytoward
action,notanger,cansoothe
hernerves.
Rule #5
Wash your sheets. The
average guy changes his
linens four times a year, but 65
percent of women say they’re
more likely to have sex with
their partner if the sheets are
clean, report two UK surveys.
That’s wash, rumple, repeat.
WHAT’S THE
STATE OF YOUR
UNION?
Thesexandbenefitsof
coupledomarepretty
awesome,butmaintenanceis
amust.Areyoukeepingup
yourend?Usethisflowchart
totroubleshootkeyproblem
areas,anddeploythepower
toolsthatjustmightrescue
yourrelationship.
GIVE HER THE
UNIVERSE
Summeristheperfecttimeto
offerupsomecelestialrazzledazzle,saysastronomer
GeoffChesteroftheU.S.
NavalObservatoryin
Washington,DC.Sofindthe
darkestskiesyoucan,lie
downonablanketwithher,
andstartexploring.(Thesky,
thatis.)
PLAY MIND
TRICKS
Ittakes30minutesforyour
eyestofullyadaptto
darkness.Usethattimeto
haveasatellite-spotting
contest:Scantheskyforwhat
appeartobefast-moving
stars.Whenthehalfhouris
up,you’llbeabletosee
thousandsmorestarsthan
whenyoufirstcameout.
ZOOM IN
Taketurnsscanningthesky
withbinoculars.(Useatleast
a50-mmaperture.Welike
Celestron’sSky-Masters
9x63,(celestron.com).Don’t
worryaboutfindinganything
—justenjoytheview.You’ll
quicklystumbleacrossstar
clustersandnebulae.Here’s
aneasygrab,though:the
Andromedagalaxy,which
sitslowintheeast.(It’sthe
widthoffivefullmoons.)If
youstartwonderingwhat
you’relookingat,download
StarCharttoyouriPhoneor
thefreeSkyMaptoyour
Android.Holdthephoneup
totheskytoIDcelestial
objects.
GO FOR A
MOONWALK
Strollamoonlitbeach.“This
ismostfunduringthefull
moon,whenmanyshore
critters,suchasghostcrabs,
akasandcrabs,arevery
active,”Chestersays.Then
conductsomelunarscience.
Ifthemoonisnearthe
horizonandseemshuge,
provetoherthatit’sthesame
sizenomatterwhereitisin
thesky.Holdanaspirintablet
atarm’slengthupbythe
moon—they’llbethesame
size.Repeatthislaterinthe
night,whenthemoonis
higher,toprovethe“summer
moonillusion”isjustthat—
anillusion.
TURN
SUNSCREEN INTO
MASSAGE OIL
STEP 1
Pickasunscreenthatcontains
grapeseedextract.Its
emollientqualitiesmakeita
commonchoiceformassage
oils.
STEP 2
Havehersitonthesand,and
kneelbehindher.Thisway
she’sgroundedandwon’t
squirmwhenyoustart
applyingpressure.
STEP 3
Squirtadollopintoyour
hand.Withyourwrists
together,wrapyourhands
aroundthebackofherneck;
slidebackandforthtospread
thelotion.
STEP 4
Formasoftfistandput
sunscreenonyourknuckles.
Usethemtomassagefrom
thebaseofherneckdown
bothsidesofherspine.
STEP 5
Withsunscreenonyouropen
palms,grazeyourhands
downherribcageonboth
sides.Moveslowlysoit
doesn’ttickle.
STEP 6
Applypressurewithyour
thumbtoherlowerbackand
thenonherneck.Movein
small,slowcirclesalltheway
upanddownthesidesofher
spine.
Source:RobertWolf,LMT,a
massage/wellnessexpertbasedinNYC
THE DANCE MOVE
HALL OF LAME
Youshouldbedancing,yeah
—butlikeJT,notlikethis
goofball(shownbelow).
JustinTimberlake’schief
choreographer,Marty
Kudelka,says“Showing
confidence—evenifyou’re
fakingit—ismoreimpressive
thantryingtoohard.”
Lessismore:“Sticktoa
simpleone-twostep:leftto
right,righttoleft,”hesays.
Menwhousetheirupper
bodyareseenasbetter
dancersandthereforemore
attractive,aGermanstudy
found—andJTprovesit.
“IfyouwatchTimbaland
andJustininthestudio,as
soonasthebeatdrops,they
leanbacktogether,”says
Kudelka.“Ifyoulean
forward,itjustlooksgoofy.
Butwhenyouleanback,your
wholeupperbodygets
involved—yourshouldersare
goingwithyou.”
The Point
“That’sjustawkward,”
Kudelkasays.“Womenmay
laugh,buttheydon’tactually
thinkit’sfunny.”
In-Her-Face Lip
Syncing
“It’sprobablyacrutch,but
it’sabadone.Evenifyou
feellikeit’shelpingyou
relax,it’scorny.”
Break Dancing
“Whowantsherman
floppingaroundonthe
floor?”
Neck Nibble While
Grinding
“Youneedtogohomeatthis
point.Getacab.”
SCORE WITH
SCRUFF
Showyourpotentialfor
seriousgrowth—startingwith
yourmug.Womenperceivea
mansportinga10-daybeard
asmoreattractivethana
clean-shavenguy,according
toa2013studyinEvolution
andHumanBehavior.Keep
thefuzzbetween¼and½
inchwiththehelpofan
electrictrimmer.Andsoften
yourwhiskerswithafew
dropsofbeardoilthreetimes
aweekorsotokeepthose
bristlesfromleavingrug
burns.
Rule #6
Be more spontaneous in the
bedroom and out.
SHAMELESS
PICKUP TRICK
BEMOREGIVING
Volunteeratalocaltriathlon.
It’saone-daycommitment
andaneasywaytomeet(and
impress)beautiful,athletic
women.InaCornell
Universitystudywomen
favoredaltruisticmeninboth
relationshipsandone-night
stands.
Q: DO WOMEN
REALLY WANT
MEN TO SHOW
THEIR
VULNERABLE,
SENSITIVE SIDES?
A.No.Startweepingand
she’llstartworrying.“She
wasattractedtoyourstrength.
Sheneedsyoutobestrong,”
saysScottHaltzman,MD,
psychiatristandauthorofThe
SecretsofHappilyMarried
Men.Butbetweenthetears
andstoicism,there’sahappy
medium.Shewantstosee
someemotiontoshowthat
youhavesomedepthanda
rangeofreactions.“They
wanttoknowthatyoucare
aboutsomething,”saysDr.
Haltzman.
MAKE HER YOUR
CENTERFOLD
Youhaveanawesomenew
camera.She’sshy.We’ll
help.
Encourage Her
Evenmodelswhoarepaidfor
sexyphotoshootsperform
betterwhenphotographers
saythey’regorgeous.Talk
herup,tellingherhowgreat
shelooks.Andkeepthings
light—ifyoujokearound,
she’llbemorerelaxed.
Choose Poses
Don’texpecthertogoall
BettiePageassoonasyou
startsnapping.Instead,help
herpicksomeposesthat
makeherfeelsexy.Startwith
theseclassics,whichwork
whethershe’snakedorina
nightie.
1. Sittingattheedgeofthe
bedwithherlegsdrawn
up,herheadrestingon
herknees,andherchest
againstherthighs.Takea
shotfromtheside.
2. Lyingonherback
diagonallyacrossthebed
withherheadatthe
bottomcorner.Haveher
raiseherarmsaboveher
headandlookback
towardyou.Tellherto
archherbackandpoint
hertoes.(Herwaistwill
lookthinnerandherlegs
longer.)
Play with Lighting
Automaticflashesaren’t
flattering.Forasoftereffect
useflashlightsorpositiontwo
lamps,withshades,oneach
sideofher.Oropenthe
drapesandusenaturallight.
Set Your Camera
Switchtoaperture(AorAV)
mode.Anapertureof16and
ashutterspeedof1/30thofa
secondshouldworkwellin
lowlight.Forthebestcolor,
setyourwhitebalanceto
“tungsten”ifyou’reusing
lamps.ThensetyourISO:In
lowlight,400to1600will
work,with400givingyou
thesmoothestresult.
(Experimentbeforehandso
youdon’tkillthemoodwith
yourcamerafiddling.)
Don’t Let Her Peek
You’llruinthemomentumif
youletherlookateveryshot.
Promisethatyou’llshowher
allofthem—later,when
you’rebothinbed.
SHAMELESS
PICKUP TRICK
FLYSOLOATA
WEDDING
Theromanticsettingprimesthebride’s
singlegalpalsforpairingoff.Andasa
friendofthecouple,you’vebeen
prescreened.Andthere’sdancing.And
booze.Wearyourbesttailoredsuit.
Meninperfectlyfittingsuitsaremore
successfulandconfidentthanguysin
ill-fittingoff-the-rackattire,aBritish
studyshows.
SEDUCE HER
WITH TWITTER
LaurieDavis,onlinedating
coachandfounderof
eflirtexpert.com,explains
howtotweetyourwaytoa
date.
STEP 1
THE PERFECT
PROFILE
Twitterpicsaretiny,sousea
headshotinwhichyourface
andshouldersfillmostofthe
frame.Keepyourbiosimple
butspecific.
STEP 2
FIND YOUR SCENE
Toavoidawkward“I’m
married”moments,follow
@LuvatFirstTweet.Build
yourprofilebyanswering
questionsthatpopupinyour
Twitterfeed.They’llmatch
youwithlike-minded
tweeters.
STEP 3
CHAT HER UP
Catchhereyebycommenting
onaconversationshe’s
havingorbydelivering
snappyone-linersabouther
lovefortheYankees.Thekey
toconnectingisskippingbar
talk(“Whatdoyoudofora
living?”)andtalkingabout
thingsastheyhappen.
STEP 4
TAKE IT BEHIND
THE SCENES
Ifsheseemsresponsive,DM
hertoampthingsup.Now
youcangetalittleflirty.
Instantreplyispartof
Twitter’scharm,soditchthe
old“don’tseemtooeager”
rule.Messagetoyourheart’s
content,aslongasshe’sinto
it.
STEP 5
MOVE OFFLINE
Iftheultimategoalistomeet
up,suggestaphonecallor
Skypesession.Ifyou’restill
notsure,suggestyoumeet
heratatweetup—aTwitter
versionofbarnightincities
nationwide.
SHAMELESS
PICKUP TRICK
WORSHIPTHESUN
Sunshinecastsyouinabetterlight:
Womenaremorelikelytogiveaman
theirdigitsonasunnydaythanona
cloudyone,accordingtoaFrench
study.Yourline:“Don’tyoulovethe
sun?”Itcanfeellikeyou’recelebrating
together,soit’saperfectpickuptactic
atthepark.Atthebeach,inviteherand
herfriendstoplayvolleyball.Women
feelvulnerableinbeachsituationswhen
they’reinminimalclothing.Ifyour
approachissocial,she’smorelikelyto
sayyes.
SHOW HER—
YOUR PADDLE!
Sexual attraction really is
primitive:Tackling
“cavemanchallenges,”like
handlingfireorswimmingin
movingwater,ismore
alluringtowomenthantaking
modernriskslikeridinga
motorcyclewithoutahelmet,
aUniversityofAlaskastudy
finds.Primalphysicaldanger
letsyouflauntyour
evolutionaryfitness,the
researcherssay,but21stcenturyrisksonlyadvertise
poorcharacterorlackofgood
judgment.Takeyourpick:
rockclimbing,whitewater
kayaking,ordeep-seadiving
—thewomeninthestudy
foundthemallsexy.
Rule #7
Among her favorite sex toys is
the one at the end of your arm.
DEFUSE AN
ANGRY SPAT
TherapistDonColehelpsyou
makepeaceatwarpspeed.
Call a Code Blue
...oranyotherpredesigned
safewordtosignala30minutetime-out.Thefirst
stepisgettingbothofyouto
acalmerplace.
Snuff Your Fuse
Setyourphonealarmfor25
minutesandusethattimeto
distractyourselfwith
somethingyouenjoydoing,
likeshootingsomehoops.
Be the Bigger Man
Spend5minutesofyourtime
thinkingabouthowyoucan
bethefirsttotakealittle
responsibility.Nowit’sher
turn.
Rule #8
“People who love each other
and have a good relationship
are best friends, and best
friends are basically good to
each other.”—Michael McKee,
PhD, a psychologist at the
Cleveland Clinic
SURVIVE THE
SPOON
Shelovesit,butyoucan’t
waittoliberateyourarmand
rolloverforsomerealsleep.
Giveherthesnuggleshe
craves—andthengive
yourselfsomespace...
1. Make Room
Movebothpillowsabouta
footdownfromthe
headboard.Thisprovides
roomforyourarmstoextend
aboveyourheadifthat
provesmorecomfortable.
2. Defeat “Dead
Arm”
Assumeastandardspooning
position,buthaveherlieso
justherhead(notherneck)
restsonthepillow.Seethat
gapbetweenherneckandthe
bedinthephotoatthetop?
Insteadofwedgingyourarm
underhertorso,threadit
throughthegapsoitextends
outinfrontofherbody.Your
otherarmisfreetowrap
aroundher.
3. Withdraw
Stealthily
Issheasleep?Slipyourarm
outfromunderherneck—the
pillowwillsupportherhead.
Nowyoucanextendthatarm
overhead,Superman-style,
towardtheheadboard,ortuck
itbetweenyourbodyand
hers.Nowfallasleep—orroll
over.
Q: IS IT TRUE
THAT SCARY
MOVIES CAN
ACTUALLY TURN
WOMEN ON?
A.Likealight.“Beingscared
isphysiologicallyarousing,
andintherightcompany,it
mayeventuallycarryoverto
sexualarousal,”saysJoanne
Cantor,PhD,aprofessor
emeritaofcommunicationsat
theUniversityofWisconsin,
whostudiesthewayspeople
areaffectedbymedia.
Afterthemovie,yourdate
mayfindyourglancesmore
eroticallychargedandyour
touchesmorestimulating.But
watchout—tryingtoscare
herintoyourarmscould
backfire.“Ifthemovieturns
outtobetoomuchforher,
shemaystartwonderingwhy
youbroughthertoseeit,and
herphysiologicalreaction
willjustintensifythat
confusion,”Cantorsays.Soif
sheisn’tintoover-the-top
terror,àlaSawVI,watcha
classicthrillerinstead,like
TheSilenceoftheLambs.
READ HER
SIGNALS
Howoftendoyoufeelthe
heat?Frequencyoftouchisa
primarypredictorof
relationshiphappinessamong
men,aKinseyInstitutestudy
reveals.“Touchisinherently
reciprocal.Youcan’ttouch
withoutbeingtouched,”says
MatthewHertenstein,PhD,of
DePauwUniversity’stouch
andemotionlab.“Andit’sa
veryspecificlanguage—
touchrelaysdistinct
emotions,notjust‘bad’or
‘good.’”Oneproblem:Some
menaren’tgoodatperceiving
women’sskin-to-skinsignals,
hesays.Usethischartto
decodehertouch—andnever
mistakehersadsnugglefor
hersexycuddleagain.
Fact:
97: Percentage of women who
say a man’s sense of humor is
as important as his physical
attractiveness. Source:
Match’s Singles in America
study, 2015
RESCUE A
WOMAN FROM A
PARTY BORE
She’sbeencorneredbysome
blowhard.Yourmission:
Saveher!Here’show,
accordingtoUCLA
psychologistGerald
Goodman,PhD.
Do Some
Reconnaissance
Makesuresheactuallywants
toberescued.Areherarms
crossed?Isshecheckingher
phonealot?Hasshelocked
eyeswithyouacrossthe
room?Isshemouthingthe
word“help”everytimehe
turnsaway?Yep,thoseare
prettyunmistakablesignal
flares.
Create a Diversion
Whenyousensealullintheir
“conversation,”casually
approachandintroduce
yourselftobothofthem.Find
thecommonground.Gowith
somethinglike,“So,howdo
youtwoknowourhost?”Or
askifthey’vetriedthekiller
martinis.Onceyou’rein,
focusmoreonhim.When
youshowhimrespect,he
feelslessthreatenedbyyou.
Be the Bore
Antidote
Dotheexactoppositeofwhat
he’sdoing;shedoesn’tneed
twogasbagstodealwith.
You’llcomeacrossasthe
moreappealingguy.Analyze
hismovements.Ishetalking
herearoffandobnoxiously
laughingathisownjokes?
Thenavoidcheaphumorand
letherleadtheconversation.
Ishehittingonheryetstaring
ateverypairofbreaststhat
passby?Thenit’syourjobto
keepyourgazeonher.
Shift Your Interest
Oncehisguardisdown—
he’stalkingmoreslowly,his
shouldersarerelaxed—
switchyourfocustoher.Ask
questionsthatprompt
thoughtfulresponses.(“What
elsewouldyoubedoing
tonightifyouweren’there?”)
Keepyoureyessolelyonher
andfollowuponher
responses.Thishelps
transitionthethree-waychat
intosomethingabitmore
exclusive.Ifhetriestosteal
thespotlight,shiftyourbody
soyou’refacingonlyher.
Thenproceedwithyour
conversation.
Spirit Her Away
Atthenextlull,sayit’sbeen
apleasureandtellhimyou’ll
seehimaround.Mentionto
herthatyou’reofftograb
anotherdrinkandcasually
inviteheralong.Bydoing
this,you’renotonly
bypassingconfrontationbut
alsomakingitcleartothe
schmothathe’suninvited.
Plus,ifshefollows,it
reassuresyouthatshewas
interestedinyouinthefirst
place.
KEEP IT IN YOUR
PANTS
YourwadofBenjamins,that
is.Womenaremoreattracted
tomenwhosavemoney,a
UniversityofMichiganstudy
reveals.Datingprofilesof
peoplewhostatedthatthey’d
savemostofafinancial
windfallweredeemed36
percentmoredesirablethan
profilesofthosewho’dspend
it.Savingshowsself-control,
saysstudyauthorScottRick,
PhD,butspendingcansignal
rashbehaviorslike
belligerenceorevencheating.
Sodon’tbeatightwad,butdo
pointoutyoursmart-money
ways.
Rule #9
Mastering the fine art of
etiquette could make the
difference between a date and
a blow-off. Use your manners
always and as naturally as
possible even if you think
women are nowhere near.
They are or will be as soon as
you slack off. Women notice
men who display class.
Fact:
14+ inches: Female hip width
correlated with a greater
likelihood of agreeing to a
one-night stand, according to
a study in the Archives of
Sexual Behavior.
SLOW DANCE
WITH HER
Find the Beat
Trytappingyourfoottothe
beat.Listenfora“quick,
quick,slow”rhythmora
momentwhenyourfootcan
pause.
Lead Firmly
Imagineyourstomach
guidingyouineachstep’s
direction—thiswillgiveyou
astrongerlead.
Make a Box
Stepforwardslowlywith
yourleftfoot;taketwobeats
todoit.Bringyourrightfoot
forwardandtotheright
(quick:inonebeat)andplace
yourleftfootbesideit
(quick).Stepbackwardon
yourrightfoot(slow)and
takeasidestepwithyourleft
foot(quick),bringinginyour
rightfoot(quick).Repeat.
Fact:
44: Percentage of men who
prefer a woman to be totally
bare down there.
4 GIFTS SHE’LL
WANT TO
UNWRAP
Wepolledthereadersof
Women’sHealthtofindout
whichtypesofgiftsthey
prefermost.Herearethetop
picks,plusthesmartest,
easiestwaystobuythem.
Event Tickets
Gotoeventful.comtofind
outwhichconcerts,festivals,
comedians,andplaysare
comingtoyourtown.Just
remember,thisisforher,not
you.
Jewelry
RedEnvelopeletsyou
engraveapersonalmessage.
Butskiptheringsunless
you’reproposing,saysTracy
Steinberg,authorofFlirtfor
Fun&MeettheOne.
Spa Treatment
Manyspassellpackagedeals
thatletherchoosefroma
menuofservices,says
Steinberg.Sodon’ttryto
guesswhatshewants;give
heroptions.
Fitness Gear
SignupforTheClymb,asite
thatoffersdealsupto70
percentoffretail.Once
you’vepurchasedhergift,
youcancancelthedailyemails.
FeelingLightheaded?
Ittakesabout3ouncesof
bloodtomakeyourpenis
erect.
SPEAK HER
LANGUAGE
CAN’T TELL WHAT SHE MEANS?
HERE’S A CHEAT SHEET.
WHAT SHE SAYS
WHAT SHE MEANS
“Are you hungry?”
I’m starving. Feed me.
“You g-chat with my best
friend?”
That’s weird. Find your own
friends.
“Are you coming to my family’s
party?”
You’re coming to my family’s
party.
“We can do whatever you want to
do tonight.”
Please, please, please let’s do
what I want to do.
“I’m fine.”
I’m totally not fine. And if you’d
paid attention to that tiny change
in my voice, you’d know
something’s up and address it.
“How dressy is this event we’re
attending together?”
Tell me everything you know
about it, including its location,
who’s invited, what you’ll be
wearing, if there will be dancing,
and whether the other women
there will be wearing heels.
HOW HORMONES
MAKE WOMEN
ACT WACKY
She’s suddenly
furious.
The cause: Low
progesterone
Nexttimeshetearsyourhead
offovernothing,itmaybe
becauseherprogesterone
levelplummeted.This
hormonecontrolsthe
junctionswhereneurons
exchangemessages.Indays
priortoawoman’speriod,
herprogesteronedrops,
makingthosesynapsesextraexcitable.
Bestdefense:Waititout.
“Don’tevenaskherwhatshe
wantsfordinner—justmake
something,”suggestsLouann
Brizendine,MD,a
neuropsychiatristandauthor
ofTheFemaleBrain.
She bawls
uncontrollably.
The cause: Too
much cortisol
Thedialthatdetermineshow
intenselypeoplefeelemotion
islocatedintheamygdala,
thepartofthebrainthat
processesmemoryand
feelings.Thoseemotionsare
balancedbythecalm,rational
partofthebrain,the
prefrontalcortex.Asurgein
thestresshormonecortisol
cancrowdoutsignalsfrom
theprefrontalcortex,letting
theamygdalarunamok.
Bestdefense:Holdher.
Tryingtosolvetheproblem
willonlymakethingsworse.
Physicalcontactboostslevels
ofoxytocin,whichshould
counterbalancethecortisol.
She’s Martha
Stewart on acid.
The cause: High
estrogen and
oxytocin
Thesetwohormonesbring
outherinnate(andoften
annoying)mothering
instincts.“Thisusually
happenstheweekafterher
periodends,”saysDr.
Brizendine.
Bestdefense:Cleanthe
housewithoutbeingasked
andshemayshowher
appreciationbyhelpingyou
buffthedining-roomfloor,
together.
THE KAMA SUTRA
OF CUDDLING
Snugglingdoesn’tnecessarily
concludewithblueballs.One
inthreepeopleina
UniversityofMichiganstudy
saidthatsnugglingusually
leadstosex.Studyauthor
SarivanAnders,PhDsays,
“Peoplewhoenjoyand
frequentlyengageincuddling
areoftenthesamepeople
whofrequentlyengagein
sex.”Someusefulstatcsthat
mayhelpensurethatyour
spooningendswithforking
(percentagesmaynotaddup
to100percentifmorethan
oneresponsewasgiven):
Activities While
Cuddling:
66% Movies/TV
28% Talking
24% Massage
18% Sleep/rest
14% Reading
5% Music
3% Eating
2% Games
Coverage While
Cuddling:
15% Nude
64% Partially clothed
21% Clothed
Why People
Snuggle:
7% Sex
15% Feels good
17% Feeling safe
20% Relaxation
20% Affection
24% Intimacy
Work
Survival Strategies
for the Daily Grind
and Those Times
When You Must
Travel for Business
Rememberthegoodol’days
ofsecureemploymentwhen
budgetswereflush,pompous
seniormanagementdidn’t
exist,mergersand
acquisitionsandlayoffsnever
ruinedyourday,andyou
couldalwayscountonraises
andevenbonuses?Ofcourse
youdon’t,becausethosedays
neverhappened,orifthey
did,youwerestillinhigh
school.
Nope.Workistough,justlike
italwayshasbeen,andnow,
thankstorequiredsensitivity
trainingseminars,itmayeven
suckmore.Whenitcomesto
working,wearehuge
advocatesoffindingagood
mentorandcultivatingthat
relationship.Why?Becausea
guyorgalwho’sbeen
throughitallcandispense
usefuladvicethat’llhelpyou
avoidthepotholesof
postmodernofficepolitics
andmanagetoday’s
Machiavellianmanagers.
Theywillenergizeyourwork
andhelpyoutosucceed.
Theyalsousuallyhavea
bottleofgoodbourbonclose
athand.
Ifyoucan’tsecureamentor
beforeyournextperformance
review,thensitdown,son,
andreadthroughthe
workadaywisdomonthenext
fewpages.It’llbeagood
start,andtherewillbetime
formentors.Afterall,you’re
goingtobeworkingfora
long,longtime.
HOW TO TRAIN
YOUR BOSS LIKE
A DOG
Hemaylead,butyoucanbe
hismaster.
He’s Shouting at
You
Your move:Whenhe’s
angryaboutsomething,don’t
givehimanyguff.Waitfor
himtocalmdown,andthen
offerabitofgoodnewsto
pleasehim.
Why it works:Dogtrainers
callthisthe“leastreinforcing
scenario.”Likedogs,people
feedoffreactions.Bossydogs
stopbarkingifyouignorethe
noiseandinsteadfocuson
rewardingthemforkeeping
quiet.Sowillbossybosses.
He’s Dumping
Bottom-Barrel
Work on You
Your move:Staybusy,limit
chitchat,andtrumpetyour
newprojects.
Why it works:Whenadog
wishestodisengagefrom
anotherdog’sadvances,it
oftensniffsthegroundasif
terriblyengrossedinascent
—acutoffsignal.Similarly,
yourbossislesslikelyto
interruptyouwithatrivial
assignmentwhenhesenses
you’realreadybusy.
You Can’t Keep His
Attention
Your move:Improveyour
bodylanguagesohe’llfocus
onyou.Useassertivehand
gestures.Makeeyecontact,
smile,andbeanimated.If
yourbossiswalking,fallinto
stepandmatchhisgait.
Why it works:Dogsstand
tallwhenthey’rebeing
assertive.Theymovewith
purpose.Ifyoudothesame,
yourbosswillrespond
instinctively.
WHAT’S THE
SAFEST STALL IN
THE MEN’S
ROOM?
Theclosestonetothemen’s
roomdoor.Ithasthefewest
germsandthemosttoilet
paper,becauseeveryone
walkspastit.
Rule #1
Never tell anyone “Welcome
aboard!” unless you’re on an
actual boat.
GIVE AN AWARDWINNING
PRESENTATION
UsingPowerPointtomake
yourpointislikeaskinga
womanforadateviae-mail.
Gotsomethingtosay?Then
losethepointerandkeepyour
listenerstunedinwiththis
professional-testedattack
plan.Thinkaboutit:When
wasthelasttimeyousaw
BarackObamaruna
slideshow?
Amp It Up
Useexaggeratedhand
movements.Itmayfeelover
thetop,sopracticeinfrontof
amirroruntiltheactionslook
natural.
Use Catchphrases
Anattorneytryingtowin
overajurymightsaya
defendantput“profitsover
people.”Suchphrasescan
makeaspeechforceful.
Add Reference
Ifyou’retalkingabouta
product,holdoneupalong
withacompetitor’stoshow
differences.Propskill
monotony.
Ask Questions
Posesomeofyourownto
sparkaconversation.Your
audiencewillbemore
enthusiastic—andyou’ll
avoidawkwardsilenceif
nobodyraisesahand.
5 THINGS TO LOSE
WHEN YOU
GRADUATE AND
GET A JOB
1. Futons
Asanadultearninga
paycheck,yourbedand
couchshouldbetwoseparate
things,notasinglepieceof
furniturethathurtsbothyour
spinalcordandyourdignity.
2. Ramen Noodles
Whenyouareearninga
paycheck,thecriteriafora
mealshouldn’tbewhetherit
costslessthanaquarter.
3. Dirty Bathrooms
PennStateUniversity
researchersdidastudyof
almost500bathroomsink
drainsin131buildings
aroundthecountryand
discoveredahighfrequency
offusarium,afungusknown
tocauseringwormand
potentiallyblindingcorneal
infections.Canyouafford
Clorox?
4. Novelty
Condoms
Safesexisn’tsomethingthat
getslessrelevantasyouget
older.Butapeniswiththe
smirkingfaceofGene
Simmonsisn’tagoodlookon
somebodywhofilesatax
return.
5. Creative Facial
Hair
Sure,facialhaircanbea
greatwaytocreateanew
identitywithverylittleeffort
orexpense.Butunlessyou
workfortheNewJersey
Departmentof
Transportation,youshouldn’t
needaFuManchuora
handlebartoannouncetothe
world,“Hey,lookatme!I’m
uniqueandinteresting!”
SurvivetheOffice
SecretSanta
Apollofalmost400Men’s
Healthreadersturnedup
thesetopthreeSecretSanta
giftsthey’dmostliketo
receivefromacoworker.
Buyoneandyou’reinthe
clear.
1. Six-packofcraftbeer
2. Localrestaurantgift
certificate
3. iTunesgiftcertificate
Don’tspendmorethan
$20.Mostguyswepolled
saythat’stheamountthey
wouldspend.
PLAN A GREAT
HOLIDAY PARTY
Toestimatethenumberof
invitations,followthis
formula.Numberofpeople
youwanttoattendX0.6=Y
numberofpeopletoinvite
How it works:Thirty
percentofthepeopleyou
invitetoaholidaypartywill
RSVPtodecline,and15
percentofpeoplewhosayyes
won’tshowup,accordingto
LaraShriftman,coauthorof
PartyConfidential.This
formula,fromtheUCLA
mathdepartment,factorsin
both.
HOW TO ASK FOR
A RAISE
Inaperfectworldtheboss
woulddropastackof
Benjaminsonyourdeskand
handyouabottleofJohnnie
WalkerBlueeveryquarter
alongwithaslapontheback.
Thatain’thappenin’.Ifyou
wantsomething,youhaveto
askforit.Especiallymoney
andpromotions.Here’show
todoit:
1. Timing Is
Everything
Youcan’tjustbargeintoyour
boss’sofficeunannounced,
demandingahandsome
reward—you’llhavetobea
bitmoremethodical.Wait
untilyouandyourteamnaila
bigprojecttobringuparaise.
Chancesarethesuccesswill
promptacongratulatorynote
fromyourboss,whichisyour
cuetoscheduleameeting,
saysJimHopkinson,author
ofthebookSalaryTutor:
LearntheSalaryNegotiation
SecretsNoOneEverTaught
You.Asktositdownand
discussyour
accomplishmentsseveral
monthsbeforeyourannual
performancereview—which
iswhenyourbossmight
automaticallygrantasmaller
salarybumpthanyou’re
lookingfor.“Ifyouwalkinto
yourreviewandthey’ve
alreadygivenyoua4-percent
raise,there’snotalotofroom
toplayoffofthat,”says
Hopkinson.
2. Sell Yourself
Onceyou’vescheduleda
face-to-facemeeting,doyour
homework.Findthecurrent
marketrateforyourposition
onsiteslikePayScale.com,
Salary.com,and
Glassdoor.com,andbringit
withyoutothemeeting.
Combinethereportwitha
personalportfolioasifyou
wereonajobinterview,and
emphasizeyour
accomplishments.Say
somethinglike,“Thesewere
thethreegoalsyououtlinedat
thekickoffmeetingthisyear,
andhere’showI
accomplishedallofthem.”
“It’sallaboutthebottom
line,”saysHopkinson.Your
threesellingpoints:“Here’s
whatI’mdoing,herearethe
skillsI’mbringingtothe
table,andhere’swhatthe
marketplaceislike.”It’shard
toarguewithresults,afterall.
3. Silence Is
Golden
Sometimesthebestthingto
sayduringanegotiationis
nothingatall,Hopkinson
says.It’sanoldFBI
technique:Ifyourbosssays,
“Wewerethinkingofa5percentraise,”simplyrepeat,
“5percent,”andbequiet.
“It’sagreattechniquewhere
ifhe’snervousorthinkingof
ahigherfigure,itjustmakes
himrevealmorethanhe
reallywantsto,”hesays.By
mirroringwhatyourboss
saysandthenshuttingup,it’ll
forcehimtofillthatsilence
andofferyoumoremoney.
4. Anchor the Deal
Here’sanalternativetactic
thatworkseverytime:Throw
outyourfigurebeforeyour
bosscan.“Letthemknow
thatthisisthenumberyou
want,”urgesCharlesNaquin,
PhD,aprofessorof
managementatDePaul
UniversityandauthorofThe
EssentialsofJob
Negotiations.“Otherwisehe’s
leftinavoid.Youwantmore
money,buthowmuchis
moremoney?Soputa
numberoutthereforhimto
lockhismindaround—as
longasit’sbasedonlogic,
likewhatyourpeersare
getting.Beupfront,be
rational,andjusttellhim
whatyouwant.”
5. Try, Try Again
Ifaraisejustisn’thappening
—yourcompanyfinishedin
theredlastquarterand
there’snotenoughroomin
thebudget—don’tletitdeter
you.Simplyscheduleanother
meetingbyasking,“When
canItalkwithyouagain?”
“Theword‘no’ispredicated
uponconditionsatacertain
periodoftime,”saysHerb
Cohen,authorofYouCan
NegotiateAnything!“A
month,2months,or3months
laterisdifferent.Soyou
persist.Youcomein3
monthslater,tellhimagain
whatyourproblemis—that
you’dlikebetter
compensation—andifyou
persevere,you’llultimately
getwhatyouwant,”Cohen
says.
MASTER THE ART
OF SMALL TALK
Chitchatyourwayoutof
threepotentially
uncomfortableconversations.
Heck,youmighteven
befriendtheboss.
Your boss in the elevator
Resisttheurgetopitchan
idea.Instead,usethe
opportunityasasetupto
pitch.Talkaboutashared
interest—Thaifood,baseball.
Then,aftersomebanter,close
with,“GladIcaughtyou,
actually.Doyouhavea
minutethisweektodiscussa
newideaIhave?”
Random dude running an
errand
Look,he’sbeingnice.So
whenhecommentson
envelopepricesatthepost
office,counterwithajoke.
(“Yeah,andtheydon’ttaste
anybettereither.”)You’re
showinglighthearted
goodwill.Consideritpractice
forwhenagorgeouswoman
chatsyouup.
You’re not
knowledgeable about the
topic
Askaquestionthatthrows
theballbackintothe
inquisitor’scourtand
complimentshisintelligence.
Peoplelovetograbthe
spotlight,andthisdistraction
willtakethespotlightoff
yourlackofknowledge.
Rule #2
You will catch a cold within a
week of taking a red-eye and
within 2 weeks of starting a
new job.
TAKE A MENTAL
HEALTH DAY
PLAN, EXECUTE, AND ENJOY
THE PERFECT DAY OF HOTWEATHER HOOKY. THIRTY-TWO
PERCENT OF WORKERS
PLAYED HOOKY LAST YEAR, A
CAREERBUILDER SURVEY
FOUND. ONE RESPONDENT’S
EXCUSE WAS, “I ACCIDENTALLY
HIT A NUN WITH MY
MOTORCYCLE.” DON’T BE THAT
GUY.
1. Consult Your
Calendar
Despitehiscomb-over,your
bossisn’tanidiot.Tohis
discerningeye,amissed
MondayorFridayequalsa3dayweekend.Tuesday
throughThursdayisyour
hookysafezone.
2. Craft Your
Excuse
Chooseanafflictionyou’ve
experienced,soyoucan
describesymptoms.Diarrhea
orfoodpoisoningisgreat.
“Everybodyknowswhatitis,
andnoonewantstoaskabout
it,”saysKerrySpeckman,
authorofTheHookyBook.
3. Stay Under the
Radar
Steerclearofsocialmedia.
Evenifyourbossisn’tyour
Facebookfriend,coworkers
whoaremaycluehimin.
Don’tupdateyourstatus.
Don’ttweetaboutyourday
off.Andswitchoffyour
Googleaccount’sG-chat.
4. Return to Work
Safely
Attheoffice,youmaybe
temptedtoelaborateonyour
storytocoveryourtracks—
butdon’t.“Maintainthatlittle
bitofdoubt,”saysSpeckman.
Watchyournonverbals,too.
Ahaircutorsunburncanbe
damning.
HOW TO
BOUNCE BACK
FROM A
SCREWUP
Witheyecontactandan
eventone,say“Itotally
screwedup.I’msorry.”
Thenstoptalking.You’ve
ownedtheproblem,and
yourbrevitydisplays
respectandsincerity.
Ramblingmakesitabout
you(bad)andleadsto
excuses(worse).
Rule #3
Smile more. People like to be
around those who smile,
because it suggests not only
that the person being smiled
at is well regarded, but also
that they’ll feel better.
OUTSMART YOUR
OFFICE FRENEMY
DEFEND YOUR
CAREER WITH
TIPS FROM
FATHALI
MOGHADDAM,
PHD, A
PROFESSOR OF
CONFLICT
RESOLUTION AT
GEORGETOWN
UNIVERSITY.
Know Thy Frenemy
Togaugeyourcolleague’s
trust,sharesomeharmlessbut
privatewayyou’vebentthe
rules,likehowyou
occasionallytakeapersonal
daytogolf.Iftheinfoleaks
toyourothercoworkers,it’s
on.
Wield Your Words
Ifyou’reforcedtowork
together,deployphraseslike
“Wemakeagoodteam,”
whichencourageshimto
cooperate.Alsotrysomething
like“I’monboardwiththat
idea.Itcouldbeevenbetterif
...”You’llseemmore
focusedonsolutionsthanon
fighting.
Buddy Up to the Boss
Regularlycommunicating
withyoursuperiorgivesyou
moreleverage.Don’twhine
aboutyournemesis.
Volunteerfornewprojectsas
yourbossdreamsthemup.
You’lllookproactive(and
promotable)andicethe
frenemyout.
WRITE A KICKASS
RECOMMENDATION
MAKE THAT
REFERENCE
MATTER, SAYS
ANDREW
SIMMONS, PHD,
DIRECTOR OF
BROWN
UNIVERSITY’S
CAREER
DEVELOPMENT
CENTER.
Gather Data
Askyourcolleagueforacopy
ofthepositiondescription
andjoblisting.Manywriters
repeatqualifications,flubbing
thechancetoextolthe
candidate’scharactertraits—
somethingarésumécan’t
convey.
Avoid the Spotlight
Dedicateonlyasentenceor
twotoyourownintroduction.
Citethenumberofyearsand
capacityinwhichyouand
yourcolleagueworked
together.Anythingmore
takesthefocusoffthe
candidate.
Tell a Good Story
Ifyourememberyour
friend’sgame-changingidea,
it’llalsostandouttoan
employer.Writetheanecdote
highlightingyourcolleague’s
positivetraitsandhowheor
shebenefitedthecompany.
Whittle It Down
Keepittoonepage,max.
Recruitersreadalotofthese.
ForLinkedIn
recommendations,aimfora
one-paragraphsummary.Any
longertaxesattentionspans.
LAND THE BEST
SEAT ON A PLANE
Uncommonknowledgefor
makingthebestofairtravel.
Double-Check
Evenifyoupickedyourseat
whenyouboughtyourticket,
checkthatyoustillhavethe
seataweekbeforedeparture.
Airlinessometimesswap
planestoadjustforpassenger
load,resettingseat
assignments.
Upgrade at the
Last Minute
Goonline24hoursbefore
yourflighttocheckonexitrowseats.Theymayhave
openedupaftertheairline
movedpassengerswhodidn’t
fittheseatingcriteria(good
hearing,Englishspeaking,
andsoforth).Iftherearetwo
back-to-backexitrows,pick
thesecond—first-rowseats
oftendon’trecline.
Forget the Front
Row
Don’tbefooledintopicking
fromasectioncalled
“preferredseats”or“express
seats.”That’sjusttheairline
chargingyouextraforthose
frontrows.Lame.Pickseats
directlybehindtheserows;
they’rejustasgood.
Avoid Noise
Ifyou’reonabigjetandthe
frontisbooked,pickthe
middleofanysectiontosteer
clearofexcessnoise.Don’t
sitnearthegalleys,where
flightattendantschatand
preparefood.Andavoid
bulkheads(partitionsbetween
seatingsections);theymay
havebuilt-inbabycradles.
HavetheBossHear
YouOut
Sendyourbigideastoyour
fearlessleaderbetween
6:30a.m.and7:30a.m.,so
theyjumptothetopofthe
in-box,saysDanZarrella,
authorofTheSocialMedia
MarketingBook.Hitting
“send”lateatnightmay
annoyarecipientwhose
worke-mailandcellphone
arelinked.
HOW TO BEAT JET
LAG
• Drinkplentyofwater
before,during,andafter
yourflight.
•
Setyourwatchtothe
localtimeofyour
destinationasyouboard
theplaneandtrytosleep
onthatlocalschedule.
•
Don’tdrinkcaffeineafter
10a.m.thedayofyour
flight.
•
Don’tdrinkalcohol
beforeorduringthe
flight.
•
Don’teatduringthe
flight.Itwillmakeit
harderforyoutosleep.
•
Don’tgotobedearlier
than10p.m.atyour
destination.
Rule #4
Never continue talking to a
coworker after he enters a
bathroom stall and sits down.
MAKE SURE YOUR
LUGGAGE
ARRIVES WHEN
YOU DO
Over100,000passengerson
USairlinesreportmishandled
baggageeverymonth,
accordingtotheUS
Departmentof
Transportation.Protectyour
stuff.
Prep the Bag
Slipyourtravelitineraryand
contactinfointoanoutside
pocket.Ifthedestinationinfo
islost,baggagehandlerswill
checktherefirstforID.
Pack to Prevent
TSA Tampering
IfTSAagentsspotsomething
suspicious,they’llopenyour
bag,whichcoulddelayit
frommakingyourflight.So
helpthemout.Loopyourcell
phonecharger’scordand
secureitwitharubberband;
thatwayitwon’tlook
suspiciousonanx-ray.And
packfancyfootwearontop
foreasyaccess.Shoeswith
metalsupportsoftentripup
security.
Secure Your Gear
Removeanyloosestrapsand
lineupzippersandlocks
undertheluggagehandle.
Thisreducesthechanceof
thebagsnaggingonthe
conveyorbelt.Ifyouwantto
lockyoursuitcase,doitwith
aTSA-approvedlock
(travelsentry.org),so
inspectorscangainaccess
withtheirtools.
Budget Your Time
Yes,youcansprinttoyour
gatein7minutes.Your
suitcase,however,cannot.
Allowatleast90minutesfor
luggageprocessing—andtack
on30moreforpeaktravel
times,saysSusanFoster,
authorofSmartPackingfor
Today’sTraveler.
ProtectyourDress
Shoes
Tokeepashineand
preventscratcheswhile
traveling,wrapeachshoe
intissuepaper,says
AlexanderMattinson,lead
butlerattheSt.RegisDeer
ValleyinParkCity,Utah.
Yourclotheswon’tpickup
shoepolish,andyourshoes
won’tbangaroundina
shoebag.Usewhitetissue
paper;dyesmayruboffon
yourclothes.
Rule #5
Every 5 mph you drive over 50
is like paying an additional 25
cents per gallon of gas. That
means for a 15-gallon tank,
doing 80 costs an extra
$22.50.
SCORE A HOTEL
ROOM UPGRADE
CHAIN HOTELS WANT YOU
BACK TO THEIR LOCATIONS, SO
IT’S THE FRONT DESK’S JOB TO
MAKE YOU AS HAPPY AS
POSSIBLE. THAT MEANS
UPGRADING—IF YOU ASK
NICELY.
Learn the Lingo
Beforeyouarrive,lookupthe
namesofthehotel’shigh-end
suites.Ifyouaskforthe
honeymoonsuiteatahotel
thatdoesn’thaveone,you
couldstrikeout.Butmention
aspecificroombyname,and
oddsarebetterthatthefront
deskwillcomethrough.
Be Specific
Insteadofsimplyaskingfora
“better”room,saywhatyou
want,likeapoolview.This
simplifiestheclerk’ssearch.
Ifyoufail,tryagainlaterin
theday.By5p.m.,thehotel
shouldknowwhetherthere
areanygreatroomstospare.
Make Friends
Yourchancesofanupgrade
increaseifit’sabirthdayor
weekendawaywithyourgal.
Mentionthatyouwanttodo
everythingyoucantomake
thevisitspecial.
Point Out Mistakes
IntheYelpera,hotelswantto
seemwillingtoaccommodate
iftheyscrewedup.Ifyour
ACisstuck,they’drather
moveyoutoanicerroom
thantroubleyouwithspottreatingtheproblem.
Negotiate Options
Iftherereallyarenoother
rooms,askforaone-night
perk,suchasfreeWi-Fi,
breakfast,orgymaccess.
KNOW WHEN TO
SHUT UP
In these situations,
it’s best to zip your
lip, says Teller, the
silent partner in
magic/comedy duo
Penn & Teller.
You’ve Wrapped
Up an Argument
Moveon!Don’tyieldtothe
temptationtooverapologize
oraskforanapology.That
alwaysturnsinto“Iwas
wrong,butI’dneverhave
donethatifyouhadn’t...”
Justkeepquietandreturnto
normalcy.
You’re Tempted to
Fight via E-Mail
Don’t.You’llfindyourself
chainedtothecomputer,
tryinginvaintocomeup
withanargumentanattorney
wouldwrite.Incidentally,
neverarguewithattorneysby
e-mail.Arguingistheir
profession.
Tempers Flare in a
Meeting You Lead
Takeateabreak.First,you
leadbyexample,staying
politeandhospitable.Second,
itsuggeststhatyouhave
betterthingstodo.Third,tea
—especiallyminttea—hasa
wayofbringingeverybody
backtosanity!
SPIN A PEN IN
YOUR FINGERS
Be the main distraction at your
next staff meeting with this
dizzyingly slick around-thethumb maneuver.
1. Find Your
Balance
Aperfectpenflipisallabout
balance.Pentipstendto
weighmore,soplacethecap
onthebackofthepentoeven
outtheweightdistribution.
2. Form a Launch
Pad
Makeapeacesignwiththe
indexandmiddlefingersof
yourdominanthand,with
slightlylessthananinchfrom
fingertiptofingertip.Fold
downyourringfingerand
pinkietokeepthemoutofthe
way.Letyourthumbrest
naturally.
3. Center It
Withpalmfacingup,place
thepen’scenterofbalanceon
thetipofyourmiddlefinger
andlettherestofthepenfall
ontothetipofyourindex
finger.Placeyourthumbon
theoppositesideofthepen
andgriplightly.Yourthumb
shouldbebetweenyour
middleandindexfingers.
4. Snap Forward
Yourgoalistospinthepen
counterclockwisearound
yourthumbandthencatchit
whereitstarted.Tolaunch
themove,mimicsnapping
yourfingers—justflickyour
middlefingerpastyour
thumbwhilekeepingyour
indexfingerandthumbstill.
Themotionshouldslingthe
penallthewayaroundyour
thumb—well,afterabout85
attempts.
5. Bring It Back
Thecatchisallabouttiming.
Afteronerevolution,thepen
willlandbetweenyourthumb
andindexfinger.Clamp
downwithyourindexfinger
tostopthepen.Repeatsteps
1through5untilyour
meetingisover.You’ll
probablyneedabout30
minutesofpracticetonail
this,sopreserveyour
coworkers’sanity:Practiceat
home.
LandaJobby
Voicemail
“Noonehastimetolisten
toamessagethatrambles
onlongerthan30
seconds,”saysDominic
Bokich,authorofSexand
YourJobSearch.After
introducingyourself,say
youhavethree
recommendationsonyour
LinkedInprofileandthat
you’venotedyourWeb
siteontherésuméyousent
lastweek.Short.Smart.
STREAMLINE
YOUR
SMARTPHONE
Mostphonesareoptimized
forthumbuse,saysJennifer
Jolly,hostofUSAToday’s
digitalvideoshowTechNow.
Soplaceyourfourmostused
appsatthebottom,where
yourthumbshavequick
access.Formoreease,name
foldersafteractiveverbs
(“read”fornewsapps,“play”
forgames)toconnectthetask
withthelabel.
Rule #6
Good judgment comes from
experience, and experience
comes from bad judgment.
DRINK WITH THE
BOSS—AND KEEP
YOUR JOB
ForCharlieWhitfield,brand
ambassadorforThe
Macallan,drinkingonthejob
isthejob.Heconducts
tastingsonbehalfofthe
whiskeycompanyandhas
someadviceformixingwork
andplaysuccessfully.
1. Order Smart
Thebosswillprobablypay,
solethimorderfirst.Asa
stallingtactic,askforadrinks
menuandscanituntilhe
decides.Thenordera
similarlypriceddrink.
2. Make Fluid
Conversation
Askabouthisorder:“I
haven’thadtheirIPA,butI
lovethatbrewery.”Thissort
ofchattingaboutbrewsand
breweriescanleadtoother
nonworktopics,suchas
travelandfood.
3. Open the Shop
Talk
Waitforthebosstobringup
work,andtheneaseintoyour
bigidea.Ifheasksatough
question,sipyourdrinkto
buytime.Collaboration,not
interrogation,bestfitsthe
laid-backmood.
4. Survive the
Rounds
Feeltheurgetoovershare?
Stopordramaticallyslow
downyourintake.
Remember:Yourgoalisto
havethebossrelaxed,notto
haveyourselfrelaxedaround
theboss.
5. Ante Up
Superiorsusuallypay,asthe
unwrittenrulegoes,butyou
shouldatleastoffertochip
in.Ifyoureallywantto
impressorthanktheboss,
excuseyourselftothe
restroomandpaybeforehe
hasachancetograbthetab.
Give(andTake)
CriticismatWork
THERE’SANART
TOBOTHSIDES.
HANDLEEACH
ONE
PERFECTLY.
GiveCriticism
Don’tvisityourcolleague
rightafterthemisfire,says
consultantPeterBregman,
authoroftheworkplace
efficiencybook18
Minutes.He’llbestressed.
Instead,setupatimeto
meetbeforethenext
screwupcanoccur.Be
clearanddirect,talking
abouttheupcoming
situation,nottheprior
mistake.Thenstoptalking.
Silencelocksinthe
messageandallowsfora
response.Closewithhow
youcanbestreachthegoal
together.
TakeIt
Everyonereceivesdirect
criticism,Bregmansays.
Acceptit.Don’tinterrupt,
bedefensive,make
excuses,orargue.Instead,
askquestionstoshowyou
understandandwantto
improve.Solicitexamples
ofwaysyoucanwork
throughasimilarsituation.
Repeatadviceandendby
connectingyour
improvementtothe
bettermentofthework.
Remember:Don’ttakeit
personally.Anda“thank
you”doesn’thurtyour
reputationeither.
Rule #7
Never look at a menu for
longer than 90 seconds.
You’re picking dinner, not a
business partner.
RAISE YOUR
PROFILE ON
LINKEDIN
Mostguysthinkofthissocial
mediasiteasacleaned-up
versionofFacebook,but
garneringconnectionsisjust
thebeginningofLinkedIn’s
potential.Followtheserules
tobuildyourprofessional
persona,attractheadhunters,
andclimbthecorporate
ladder.
Can the Corporate
Claptrap
Unlessyou’reCEOatawellknowncompany,forgetabout
yourgenerictitle.Tellpeople
whatyouactuallydo.You’re
nota“realestateagent,”you
finddreamhomes.Someone
who“bringsbusinesses
together”isastrongersell
than“marketingassistant.”
Showthatyou’reconfident
andpassionate,andimportant
peoplewillnotice.
Create an Online
Portfolio
Beyondpostingaphotoand
yourmostrecentrésumé,
highlightyourskillsby
addingyourprofessional
Twitterfeed,blogs,orlinks
toprojectsyou’vehadahand
in.Seekoutatleast10
recommendations.Nottight
withtheboss?Ask
colleagues,clients,and
associatesforsuggestionsfor
yourbestwork,too.Afresh
perspectivecanhelpyou
roundoutyourprofile.
Join the
Community
Makingconnections
shouldn’tbelikecold-calling.
Topdogswilltrash
unexpectedLinkedIne-mail.
Instead,asastart,connect
withprofessionalsthrough
youre-maildatabase.Join
anygroupsrelatedtoyour
profession,andparticipatein
discussions.You’llindirectly
inviteindustryleadersto
engageyou,building
relationshipsandestablishing
newconnections.
Expand Your
Career Horizons
Ifyou’relookingtomakea
connection,personalizethe
request.Andkeepitbrief:an
introduction(onesentence),a
referencetoapreviouschat,a
compliment(ifit’snottoo
overthetop),andanotethat
you’reinterestedinlearning
moreaboutwhattheperson
does.Thatapproachispolite
andunobtrusive,andyou
won’tsoundneedy.
Earnthe
Promotion
Forget your rivals:Do
yourjobanddoitwell.
Whereareyoulooking?At
thescoreboard?Atthe
otherguy?Oratthe
assignmentinfrontofyou?
Inanycompetitive
endeavor,teamor
otherwise,successcomes
downtothemaninthe
mirrorandhowhe
completeshisassignment.
BOOST YOUR
BRAINSTORM
Dry-eraseboardsandneon-lit
conferenceroomsareidea
graveyards.Turbochargeyour
nextbrainstormwiththese
fourtestedalternatives.
Sleep on It
AtBuffer,asocialmedia
startup,nappingisn’tjust
toleratedbutencouraged.
MarkBatey,PhD,who
studiesthepsychologyof
creativity,saysnapsallow
ideastoincubate.Atrest,
yourbraincanconnectideas
incomplexways,hesays.
Budgetfora20-minute
snooze.
Distract Yourself
SoftwarecompanySendGrid
givesemployeestimewasters,suchasvideogames,
darts,andbeer.JoshAshton,
SendGrid’sdirectorof
people,saysthisbustsroutine
andpromotescreativity.No
toysallowed?Challengea
colleaguetoWordswith
Friends.
Schedule a
Deadline
EmmywinnerAllison
SilvermanhaswrittenforThe
ColbertReportandTheDaily
Showandsaysshenever
waitsforinspiration.“WhenI
havelimits,evenifit’sjusta
timelimit,Icanfindreally
creativewaystotacklea
problem.”Setatimerandgo!
Find a Novice
WhenAlainaG.Levine,
presidentofQuantum
SuccessSolutions,hitsarut,
sheaskssomeoneoutsideher
field.Think:“IfIdidn’thave
XskillorYexperience,how
wouldthisproblemlook?”
TryReverse
Mentoring
You’resurroundedby
peoplewithdarkerhair
(andmoreofit),lower
cholesterol,andmore
energy.Toadapt,identifya
protégéandproposea
reverseorreciprocal
mentorship.Thisishotat
companieslikeDelland
Procter&Gamble.It’san
informalwaytoencourage
learningandfacilitate
cross-generational
relationshipsintheoffice,
saysLisaQuast,aSeattlebasedcareerconsultant.
Q: MY COWORKER
DOESN’T WASH
HIS HANDS AFTER
USING THE
RESTROOM.
SHOULD I CALL
HIM OUT?
A.Virusescanspreadfroma
person’shandsthroughoutan
officeinaslittleas2hours,
sothequestionisn’tifyou
shouldaddresshim,buthow.
Forahands-offapproach,just
askHRtosendoutanoffice
memo,orpostsignsor
comicsabouthand-washing
etiquette.Comedy
downgradesthesituation.
Youcanusehumor,too,if
youfeelcomfortableasking
theass-wipetocleanuphis
act.
WEEKEND
PROJECT: BUILD
AN INDOOR OASIS
Power Plant
Ah,youroffice:It’sprobably
prettybland,boring,and...
wait,wejustfellasleep.
Thankfully,there’saneasy
waytolivenitupandsharpen
yourfocus,eveninthedull
daysofwinter.Inastudyin
theJournalofAlternativeand
ComplementaryMedicine,
peopleinplant-freezones
ratetheirstresslevelsas
nearly11percenthigherthan
thoseexposedtoplantlife.
Insteadoftendingtoeverthirstyhouseplants,youcan
reapthesamebenefitwithan
easy-to-maintainterrarium.
Thisresilientlittleglassencasedjunglewatersitself
throughcondensation.
Whetheryou’reinawindow
officeorcubicleland,Tovah
Martin,gardeningexpertand
authorofTheNewTerrarium,
showshowtobuildsome
seriousgrowthpotential.
The Window Unit
Innaturallylitrooms,indirect
lightfiltersthroughtheglass,
creatingawarmthand
humiditythatmimicsthe
environmentofanequatorial
cloudforest.
The Cubicle Farm
Inaninteriorworkarea,
fluorescentoverheadscreate
anenvironmentsimilarto
whatyou’dfindinalow-light
rainforest.
Materials
Atagardencenter,buya
poundof⅜-inchpebbles,a
bagofhorticulturalcharcoal,
pottingsoil,anda2-gallon
glasscontainerwithalid.For
awindowoffice,buyAfrican
violetsororchids;fora
cubicle,selaginellamosses
andferns.
Sink the
Foundation
Layerthematerials.Firstadd
aninchofpebbles,then1
tablespoonofthehorticultural
charcoal,then2to3inchesof
soil.
Construct the
Kingdom
Removeeachplantfromits
potandloosentherootswith
yourfingers.Digaholedeep
enoughtocontaintheplant’s
rootsystembeneaththe
surfaceofthesoil.
Shade Your Greens
Directsunlightonaclosed
containercanburnyour
plants.Sosituateyour
terrariuminaspotthat’swell
litbutnotindirectsun.Trya
bookshelfortablethat’sfar
fromthewindow.
Bathe in Faux Light
Mossesthriveindimmer
environments,butifthe
ecosystemistoodark,
nothingwillgrow.Forthe
bestlight,placeyour
terrariumonahighshelfor
anopenpartofyourdesk.
Maintain and Make
Awesome
Wateryourplantsandcap
yourterrarium.Every2
weeks,takeoffthelidfora
fewhours.Thenaddflair
withtwigs,pinecones,or
eventinynakedfiguresin
KamaSutraposes
(faerienest.com).Becausea
manatworkshouldalways
beproperlyinspired.
HOW GNAWING
WORRY MAY
SHORTEN YOUR
LIFE
Chronicworkstresscanraise
youroddsofhavingastroke
inthenextdecade,according
tonewresearchfromthe
UniversityofMinnesota.For
everysingle-pointincreasein
testscoresmeasuringstress
levels,studyparticipants’risk
ofstrokejumped19percent.
Theauthorsspeculatethat
chronicstresscausesan
inflammatoryresponsethat
mayimpedebloodflowtothe
brain.Ifyouneedachillpill,
trythesesimplewaysto
BANISH STRESS IN . . .
30 seconds
Popbubbles.We’retalking
aboutthoseair-filledbubbles
thatcomeinplasticsheets
andareusedforpacking
breakables.Astudyfound
thatpoppingthoseplastic
sheetsforawhiletookthe
subjects’mindofftheir
stressors,andtheycalmed
down.
60 seconds
Setatimerforaminute,close
youreyes,andfocuson
breathingdeeplyandon
observingyourthoughts.
15 minutes
Stretchwhileseated:lean
forward,back,andtoeach
sideandstretchyourarms
aboveyourhead.Holdeach
poseforsixslowbreathsand
thensitandbreathedeeply
withyoureyesclosed.
30 minutes
Sweat.Just30minutesof
exercisecanreduceanxiety,
anditmayevenhelpyou
handlefuturestressors.
Rule #8
Everyone sticks his foot in his
mouth at work at some time or
other. When you do, the best
thing to do is apologize,
briefly, and move on.
CALM DOWN OR
KEEL OVER
Chill,dude:Loseyourtemper
andyoucouldloseyourlife.
Anangryoutburstcantrigger
aheartattack.Inreviewing
studiesofbehaviorbeforea
heartattack,researchersnoted
thatpeoplewerenearlyfive
timesaslikelytohavean
attackinthe2hoursafteran
angryepisode.Plus,therisk
ofaclot-relatedstrokerose
aboutthree-and-a-halftimes.
Thatmaybebecause
psychologicalstresscan
increaseheartandblood
pressureandrestrictblood
flow.Nexttimeyou’reonthe
vergeofameltdown,slow
yourbreathing—alot.Taking
sixbreathsaminutecan
reduceyourbloodpressure
within5minutes.
OPTIMIZE YOUR
401 (K)
How?Firstgoto
brightscope.comandseehow
yourcompany’s401(k)stacks
up.Ifit’sunderperforming,
directsomeretirement
savings(afteryou’vehityour
company’smatch)toanIRA
withamajorbrokeragelike
FidelityorVanguard.You’ll
havemoreoptions.Second,
talktoyourbrokerageabout
rebalancingannually.Itcan
reduceyourriskandgoose
long-runreturns.
HOW TO WORK A
ROOM
DON’T WING IT.
HEAD INTO A
WORK-RELATED
EVENT WITH A
STRATEGY AND
YOU’LL LEAVE
WITH MORE THAN
A BELLY FULL OF
MINI-QUICHES.
Make your must-meet
list.Afewdaysbeforethe
event,researchthemajor
playersanddeveloptalking
points.
Organize yourself.Keep
yourownbusinesscardsin
onepocketandreservethe
otherforcardsyou’llreceive.
Thiswillpreventfumbling
andeliminatetheterrifying
possibilitythatyoumight
accidentallyprofferacard
reading“PrivateMasseuse—
onCall.”
Be on time.Bybeingoneof
thefirstguests,you’lladopta
nearlyhost-likementality,
meetingandgreetingrather
thantakingcuesfromothers.
Infiltrate a group.Thisisa
criticalskill.Findthemost
animatedgroupintheroom
andjoinin.Startbyquickly
makingeyecontactwith
someonefromtheperiphery
ofthegroup,andthen
introduceyourselfwithafirm
handshake.Askanopenendedquestion,suchas
“What’syourconnection
here?”There,you’vejust
hookedupwiththelifeofthe
party.
Reconnect with new
connections.Beforeyou
leave,doublebacktoafew
keypeople.Asecond
meeting,evenonthesame
night,makesthemmore
likelytorememberyou.
Reiterateapriortalkingpoint
andsayyoulookforwardto
meetingagain.
Sources:DianeDarling,authorofThe
NetworkingSurvivalGuideandSusan
RoAne,authorofHowtoWorkaRoom
Eatlikea
Man
Skills, Recipes,
and Other KnowHow for Cooking
and Enjoying
Amazing Food
Manshallnotlivebybread
alone.
Heneedstoast.
Andfortoast,heneedsa
toasteralongwithacertain
levelofskilltoensurehe
doesnotburnthetoast.Of
course,andbutter.
Thepointisthatfoodisno
longerplacedbeforeaman,
hotandbubbling,likeitwas
donewhenyouwere13.
Todayamanmusthunt,
gather,prepare.Ororderin.
Thelatterisbadpractice
becauseitmayleadtohighcaloriefriedfoodsandthe
needforlargertrousers.
Ifyouwouldliketoeat
reallywellandstayfitand
healthy,thewritingisonthe
wall:Youneedtolearnhow
tomakefluffyeggsand
omelets,theperfectburger,
grilledsockeyesalmon,pan-
searedsteak,andchicken
soupfromscratch.
Developingcookingskills
willnotonlygiveyoua
satisfiedbelly(andatrimmer
oneatthat)butmayalso
encouragefurtherexploration
oftheculinaryarts.Youmay,
atsomepoint,wanttotry
cookingforawoman.And
that’swhenyou’dbetterhave
yourshittogether.Oratleast
knowhowtomaketoast.So
let’sstartthere—withsome
killerFrenchtoast.
HOW TO MAKE
INCREDIBLE
STUFFED FRENCH
TOAST
Anyguycanwhipupabatch
ofscrambledeggs.Buthow
manycandelightawoman
withahomemade,decadently
sweetbreakfasttreat?Our
friendCandiceKumai,chef
andauthorofPretty
Delicious,walkedusthrough
thisamazinglysimplerecipe.
COMBO 1:
NUTELLA +
BANANA SLICES
Start Off Stale
Freshbreadhasnatural
moisturethatcanpreventit
fromsoakinguptheegg-milk
mixture.Useday-oldbread
forbetterabsorption.Forthe
besttexture,trythickslicesof
baguette,challah,brioche,or
wholewheatbread,orevena
splitcroissant.Forthisrecipe
(twoservings)you’llneed
fourslicesofbreadortwo
splitcroissants.
COMBO 2: CREAM
CHEESE +
RASPBERRIES
Stack and Soak
Toptwopiecesofbreadwith
combo1,2,or3.Addthe
remainingbreadtomaketwo
sandwiches.Inamedium
bowl,whiskfoureggswith2
tablespoonsmilk,1teaspoon
sugarormaplesyrup,and¼
teaspoongroundcinnamon.
Pourintoa9"×13"baking
dish.Placeyoursandwiches
inthemixturefor2minutes,
flippingthemhalfway
through.
COMBO 3: MAPLE
SYRUP + BACON +
APPLE SLICES
Sear It
Whilethebreadsoaks,melt1
tablespoonofbutterina
mediumnonstickpanover
medium-highheat.Placethe
sandwichesinthepanand
cookuntilgoldenbrown,a
minuteortwooneachside.
Servetoppedwithpowdered
sugarandwhateverfruityou
usedtostufftheFrenchtoast
andmaplesyrup.
MacGyvera
Walnut
IFYOUDON’THAVEA
NUTCRACKERHANDY,
HEADTOTHEGARAGE
FORAPAIROFVISE
GRIPS.THERE’SNO
MOREMANLYWAYTO
GETTOTHEMEAT.
HONE A KNIFE IN
A HURRY
AccordingtoIronChef
MasaharuMorimoto:“Ifyou
thinkyourknifeisbecoming
dull,grabawell-usedcoffee
mug,flipitupsidedown,and
sharpenyourknifeby
swipingeachsideofthe
blade’sedgeoverthebottom
ringofthemugseveral
times.”
Rule #1
Always splurge for real maple
syrup instead of the cheap
pancake syrups made with
corn syrup. Pure maple is
loaded with healthy
polyphenols. Choose grade A
light or medium amber.
CRACK AN EGG
WITH ONE HAND
BryanFyler,executivesous
chefattheCosmopolitanof
LasVegas—andamanwho
hasmademanybrunches—
showshowtospeedup(and
showoff!)yourbreakfast
prep.
Master the Vulcan
Salute
Youwanttopulltheegg’s
halvesapartwithoutcrushing
theshell.Holdingtheeggin
yourdominanthand,spread
yourfingerssoyourindex
andmiddledigitsgripthe
egg’sleftsideandyourring
fingerandpinkierestonthe
rightside(orviceversafor
lefties).Tuckyourthumb
beneaththeeggforsupport.
Tap That
Raptheeggonacounternear
thebowlwiththeforceofa
lightdoorknock.Done
correctly,theshellshould
crackslightlybutnotsplit.
Raisetheeggabovethebowl
andspreadyourfingers
outward,pullingtheshell
apart.Ifthisdoesn’tprovide
enoughforce,useyourthumb
togentlypryitapart.
PEEL A BANANA
PERFECTLY
Wetestedaviralvideo’s
“monkey-approved”
instructions.YouTubeuser
SomeDirectionhaditright:
Don’tstartfromthestem.It
maynotbreak,sothefruit
couldcrush.Instead,useboth
handstopinchthedarkbase
andspreadthehalveseasily
apart.Butwecall
monkeyshineonwhether
primatesusethisstrategy.
Ourexpertssaytheyjustrip
itopen.
ROLL YOUR OWN
SUSHI
ForaquickfixofJapanese
withouthittingthesushibar,
leavethebamboo-mat
methodtotheskilledsushi
chefandmasterthesimpleart
ofthehandroll.
Maximize Taste
Thebestrollshaveboth
textureandcolor.Choose
fromkrab(fakecrabmeat),
enokimushrooms,smoked
salmon,cucumbers,or
avocado.Selectorcutyour
ingredientstoequalsizeand
shapesothey’llfitintothe
handroll.
Size the Sheets
Nori,theseaweedthatholds
sushitogether,comesin
sheets.Usingscissors,cut
eachsheetintoquartersto
yieldamoremanageablesize
fortherolls.
Arrange Artfully
Placethenorisheetonyour
palm(shinysidedown)soit’s
inadiamondshape.With
yourotherhand,takea
thumb-sizeamountofsushi
rice(tryAnnieChun’s
premadevarieties)andpress
itintothemiddleofthesheet,
fromthetopofthediamond
tothebottom.Lineyour
ingredientsontop.
Roll It into a Cone
Slowlyclosethehandyou’re
usingtoholdthenoritobring
bothoutsideflapsofthesheet
together,slidingonebeneath
theother.(Putagrainofrice
betweentheflapstoholdthe
rolltogether.)Diptheopen
endoftherollintosoysauce.
Consume.
EatMoreofthis:
SockeyeSalmon
Bright orange wild-caught
sockeye salmon is loaded with
heart-healthy omega- 3 fatty
acids and offers 36 grams of
protein at only 241 calories for a
sizable 6-ounce serving. Plus,
wild Pacific salmon has 10 times
fewer “persistent organic
pollutants,” or POPs, than farmraised Atlantic salmon, reports a
study in Alternative Medicine
Review.
COOK IT LIKE A
SUBCONTRACTOR
WhoneedstoruntoWillamsSonomawhenyouhavea
toolboxgatheringdustinthe
shed?Grabatoolandbeat
yourfoodintosubmission.
RUBBER MALLET—Useit
totenderizemeats.Rinsethe
sawdustofffirst.
CHEAP HOBBY
PAINTBRUSHES—To
marinaderoastsandcleanout
thecoffeegrinder.Use
unusedbrushes.
5-IN-1 TOOL—Usethehalfroundtocleangrillgrates.Its
anglesreachplacesalarge
grillbrushcan’t.Tapthe
gougertopopasmallholeon
thetopofametaloliveoiljug
sopouringgoesmoreeasily.
Usethescraper/putty
spreadertoremovethe
baked-oncrudfrompotsor
bakingsheets.
NEEDLE-NOSE PLIERS
—A(clean)paircanextract
fishbonesfast.Dragyour
fingeralongthebonesto
exposethemandthenusethe
plierstopullthemtowardthe
head.
CORDLESS DRILL—Make
extra-fluffyscrambledeggs
byinsertingawhisk
attachmentintothedrilland
beating.Unscrewtheknob
fromthetopofapeppermill,
exposingthedriveshaft,and
tightentheshaftintoyour
drilltoturnitintoagrinder.
Turnonthedrilltogrinda
pileofpepperinseconds.
(Protip:Ifnotenoughofthe
driveshaftisexposed,
removethepeppermill’s
head.)
PROPANE TORCH—For
makingcrèmebrûléeand
meringues.Justbecarefulout
there,sport.
MAKIN’ BETTER
BACON
The key to perfectly cooked
bacon:
Placebacononabakingsheet
androastina375˚Fovenfor
12minutes.Bacontendsto
scrunchupwhencookedina
skillet,makingforuneven
cooking.
DressYourself
Bottleddressingsarea
wasteofmoney.Youcan
makeabettervinaigrette
yourselffromscratchby
whiskingtogetherthree
partsoliveoilwithonepart
balsamicvinegar,plussalt
andpepper.Buildinextra
flavorbyaddingminced
shallots,Dijonmustard,
freshherbs,orhoney.
COOK THE
PERFECT BURGER
DojusticetoanAmerican
classicbymakingitright.
Buy the Beef
Forsuperjuicy,tender
burgers,pick80percentlean
chuckandaskforit“twice
ground.”
Shape the Patties
Mold,don’tmix.Add
nothing.Ifyou’readding
eggsoronionstoyourground
beef,you’remakingmeatloaf,
notburgers.
Prep the Grill
Cranktheheattohigh.(Fora
charcoalgrill,skiplighter
fluid.Heatcoalsinachimney
starteruntilthey’relightly
coatedwithash.)Holdyour
handjustoverthegrill;ifyou
cankeepitthereonlyafew
seconds,it’sgotime.
Cook the Burgers
Saltthepattiesliberallyand
thengrillthemuntildroplets
ofbloodappearontheraw
side,about3minutes.Now
flip.Formediumrare,cook
thissideabout2more
minutes(or3moreminutes
formedium).Resisttheurge
topressontheburgersto
makethemsizzle.Doingthat
smooshesoutalotofthe
tastyjuices.
The Accessories:
1. Bun.Foracrispbut
tenderbun,butterthecut
sidesandtoastitinapan
2.
3.
4.
5.
untilgolden.
Tomato.Theflavorful
varietysoldonthevineis
justtherightsize.
Cheese.UseAmerican,
notCheddar;thesaltiness
enhancesthemeat.
Pickles.Usetoaddan
acidicbitetoyour
creation.
Onion.Topthecheese
withthinlyslicedred
onionsoitwiltsinthe
burger’sheat.
6. Lettuce.Crispcurly-leaf
lettuceonthebottombun
preventssoggybread.
Sizeit—Grabatennisball–sizehunkof
beef(about7ounces)andformintoa
looseball.
Flattenit—Placetheballofmeatona
cleancuttingboardandpressitwiththe
palmofyourhanduntilit’sabout¾
inchthick.
Shapeit—Withoutcompletelylifting
thepattyoffthecuttingboard,work
yourpalmsaroundtheedge,lightly
packingitasyourotate.Thenflipthe
pattyoverandrepeat.Justdon’t
overworkthemeat—toomuchmashing
willresultinadense,chewyburger.
Rule #2
You have about 7 days after
opening a package of deli
turkey to consume it safely.
But always do the sniff test.
Strong off-odors indicate
spoilage.
ROCK A LOBSTER
Serveupaseafooddinner
thatbeatstheshelloutofthat
chain-jointspecial.
Go Live
Skipthefrozenlobster.An
enzymereleasedaftera
crustaceandiescandegrade
themeatovertime,says
StuartCromarty,PhD,an
expertinlobsterneuroscience
atAssumptionCollegein
Massachusetts.
Buy Young
Lookforsmallishspecimens
weighingabout1½pounds,
saysKerryAltiero,Maine
LobsterChefoftheYearin
2012.Theirmeatissweeter
thanthatoftheirbigger
brethren.Thetankwater
shouldbeclearandthe
lobsteractivewhenremoved.
Steam It
Don’tboilthelobsteror
you’llwaterlogthemeat,says
Altiero.(Also,removingthe
meatfromtheshellwillbe
messier.)Setupyour
stockpotandbringthewater
toaboil.Usingtongs,grip
thelobsterbehinditsclaws,
pincerspointedawayfrom
you.Placeitonthecolander
andputonthelid.Steamuntil
thelobsterisbrightred,about
20minutes.
Extract and Stand
Back
Usingtongs,transferthe
lobstertoacuttingboardto
sitfor5minutes.Likeother
meats,lobsterturnsjuicier
whenitrests,Altierosays.
Build Your Steamer
Youdon’tneedtogooutand
buyaspecialtyseafood
steamer—theitemsyouneed
areprobablyinyourkitchen
already.Justflipametal
colanderupsidedowninside
an8-quart(orlarger)
stockpot.Addafewinchesof
watertothepot,makingsure
thewaterleveldoesn’treach
thelobster.
MAKE PERFECT
PASTA
Mostpeoplescrewitup,says
MarcVetri,executivechefof
AllaSpinainPhiladelphia.
Allowthecheftoschoolyou.
1. Go Deep
Graban8-to10-quartpotfor
1poundofpastaandfillit
aboutthree-quartersfullof
hotwater(tohelpitboil
faster).Youwantenough
watersothepastadoesn't
sticktoitselfandclump.
2. Add Salt
Turntheheattohighandsalt
thewaterheavily.Ifyou’re
usingan8-quartpot,that’s
about3tablespoonsofkosher
salt.Mostofthesaltwillstay
inthewater,leavingthepasta
perfectlyseasoned.Putthelid
onthepotsothewaterboils
faster.
3. Drop and Stir
Whenthewaterreachesa
rollingboil,addthepastaand
stirimmediately.Thisensures
thatthepastawon’tstick
together.There’snoneedto
addoliveoil—thatdoesn’t
preventsticking.Juststir
occasionallythroughoutthe
cookingprocess.
4. Test with Your
Teeth
Yourgoalisaldente—pasta
that’sjusttenderbutstillhas
abite.Boxedpastausually
reachesaldenteabouta
minutebeforethepackage
instructionssaytocookit.
Theonlytruewaytocheck:
Pulloutapieceandbiteinto
it.Ifthetexturefeelscrunchy,
allowthepastatocontinueto
boil.Tasteagainafteranother
minuteorso.
5. Finish It
Pastashouldneverwaitina
colander—it’llgogummy.
Reserve¼cupofpastawater
anddrainthepasta.Then
dumpthedrainedpastaback
intothepot.Addthesauce
andreservedpastawater.The
starchesinthepastawater
helpthesauceclingtothe
pasta,creatingacreamier
dish.Stirwellbeforeserving.
GuesstimateGrill
Temp
Neverpressmeatwitha
spatulatospeedgrilling.
You’llturnitintoahockey
puck.Insteadputyour
handstogooduse.Test
yourbarbecuegrillheatby
placingyourhand3inches
abovethegrillingsurface
andcountMississippis
untilyouhavetopull
away.
Lessthan3seconds—
highheat
5to6—mediumheat
10to12—lowheat
THE MOST
NUTRIENT-DENSE
PLANTS YOU CAN
EAT
Pickfoodsnearthetopofthe
listanddiversifycolorsto
boostphytochemicalcontent.
PRODUCE
Watercress
Chinese
DENSITY
RANK
100
91.99
cabbage
Chard
89.27
Beet greens
87.08
Spinach
86.46
Romaine
63.48
Collard
greens
62.49
Endive
60.44
Kale
49.07
Red peppers
41.26
Arugula
37.56
Broccoli
34.89
Brussels
sprouts
32.23
Cauliflower
25.13
Cabbage
24.51
Carrots
22.60
Tomatoes
20.37
Iceberg
lettuce
18.28
Strawberries
17.59
Oranges
12.91
Blackberries
11.39
Rule #3
Eat a tablespoon of ground
flaxseed daily. It’s the best
source of alpha-linolenic acid,
a healthy fat that can help
improve the workings of the
cerebral cortex, the area of the
brain that processes sensory
info, including that of
pleasure.
GAUGE YOUR GAS
Notsurehowmuchpropane
isleftinyourgrilltank?
Microwaveacupofwaterfor
about2minutesoruntilit
startstobubble.Thenpour
thehotwaterdowntheside
ofthetank.Runyourhand
overthewetmetal;thewarm
partofthetankisempty,and
thecoolpartisfull.
Rule #4
Keep meat from sticking to a
grill by oiling the grates. Cut
an onion in half and stick a
long-handled grill fork in the
round part. Dip the cut end
into a bowl of vegetable oil
and rub it over the grates of
the grill.
HOW TO MINCE
GARLIC
Afterpeelingtheclove,place
itonacuttingboardandtrim
offroots.(a)Slicetheclove
inthinstripsalongitslength
fromroottotip.(b)Turnthe
garlic90degreesandcut
stripsintheotherdirection.
Sprinklethesticksofgarlic
withapinchofsalttokeep
themfromstickingtoknife.
(c)Holdthegarlicinplaceby
curlingyourfingersunder
andruntheknifebackand
forthoverthestickstomince
asfinelyasyoulike.
PAN-SEAR A
JUICY STEAK
Grillsnowedin?Youcanstill
enjoyaslabofbeeffiredto
crusty-outside,juicy-inside
perfection.ChefMarc
ForgioneofAmericanCutin
AtlanticCitywalksyou
throughthesteps.
Select a Steak with Fat
Buya10-ouncestriporribeyesteak;eithercutwillhave
anicefatcapsurroundingthe
meattokeepitfromdrying
outandtougheningupwhen
exposedtohighheat.Thecap
shouldbeatleast¼inch
thick.
Ratchet Up the Firepower
Highheathelpsthemeat
acquireacrispcrust.The
problemisthatyourtypical
sautépancan’ttakehigh
heat.Sobreakoutacast-iron
skilletorheavy-bottommetal
pan.Add2tablespoonsof
canolaoilandcrankthe
burnertohigh.
Watch and Sear
Coatthesteakwithseasalt,2
tablespoonsofherbedbutter,
andgroundblackpepper.
Whentheoilsmokes,addthe
steakandreducetheheatto
medium(exhaustfanon).
Searuntilyouseeacrust
formontheundersideofthe
steak,3to4minutes.
Finish with Flavor
Usetongstoflipthemeat.
Addafewunpeeledgarlic
clovesandthymesprigsto
theoil.Cookthesteak4more
minutes(formediumrare),
bastingitwiththepan’soil.
(Tipthepanuntiltheoil
pools,scoopitup,anddripit
overthemeat.)
Let It Rest, Then Dig In
Removethemeatfromthe
panandletitsitfor10
minutes,sothejuices
redistributeinsidethesteak.
Thensliceitacrossthegrain.
Sprinkleonsomemoresea
saltandserve.
SpeedYour
SmoothieCleanup
Blastblenderbuildupwith
thistrickfromnutritionist
(andavidsmoothie-maker)
AlanAragon,MS:Flush
outwhatyoucanusingthe
faucetandthenfillthe
blenderhalfwaywithhot
waterandasplashofdish
soap.Nowturnitonhigh
for20seconds.Rinse
thoroughly.Done.
GROW YOUR OWN
SALSA
CynthiaJames,food
productionspecialistatthe
RodaleInstituteAgriculture
SupportedCommunities
program,addssomespiceto
yourgardenparty.
Spot Your Plot
Findaflat4×8-footsoilarea
outsidethatreceivesatleast6
hoursofdirectsundailyand
drainswell.
Build a Raised Bed
Anelevatedgardenisless
weedy.Plus,loosesoilhelps
plantsproducemore.Forfull
plansofaraisedbedlikethe
onedrawnbelow,headto
MensHealth.com/raisedbed.
Plan the Planting
Tofindoutwhentostartyour
garden,enteryourZipcodeat
almanac.com/gardening/plantin
dates.Plantonionsatleast4
weeksbeforetheaverage
last-frostdate.Addtomato
andhot-peppertransplantson
orafterthatdate.Add
cilantroseedsthentoo.
Circle Your Crops
Arrangetheplants
strategicallyandthey’ll
benefitoneanother.Putthe
tomatoesandjalapeñosinthe
centerofthebedsotheroots
haveplentyofspaceto
spread.Plantyouronionsand
cilantroaroundtheedgeof
thegarden.Theiraromaswill
confuseinsectpests.
Grow Long!
Waterthoroughlyafter
planting,andthenona
regulardailyschedule.Soak
theploteverymorningtowet
therootzone.Tocheck
whetheritneedsasecond
afternoonwatering,stickyour
fingeraninchintothesoil.If
it’sdry,dragoutthehoseand
give’erasoak.
A HANDY MEAT
THERMOMETER
Tocheckdoneness,pokethe
meatandthenthefleshyarea
betweenyourthumband
indexfingerwhileholding
yourhandinthesepositions,
whichmimicvaryingdegrees
of“doneness.”
LIVEN UP
LEFTOVERS
Thinkofleftoversas
ingredientstobuildfrom
insteadofmealstoeatagain.
Example:Chopuplast
night’ssteakandasparagus
andaddtoafrittata.Usechili
asahotdogtopper,oradd
roastchickenorsautéed
shrimptopizzaorpasta
sauce.
Rule #5
Brown rice is a better choice
than white because it’s a fiberrich whole grain.
MAKE CHICKEN
SOUP FROM
SCRATCH
Buy the Right Bird
A3-to4-poundbroiler(an
olderbird)willgiveyour
soupastrongchickenflavor
andleaveyouwithplentyof
extrameatforleftovers.
Salt the Meat
Fortastiersoup,rubthe
chickeninsideandoutwith1
tablespoonofkoshersaltand
refrigeratefor15minutes.
Rinsethebirdwithcoldwater
andpatdry.
Prep the
Vegetables
Aromaticvegetablesadda
foundationofflavor.Best
mix:3carrots,5celerystalks,
and1onion(allchopped),
and3whole,peeledgarlic
cloves.
Gather Your
Seasonings
Foraclassicchickensoup,
sticktosubtleherbsand
spices.Bestmix:afewsprigs
offreshflat-leafparsleyand
dill,2bayleaves,and½
teaspoonblackpeppercorns.
Cook Your Soup
Step 1:Placethebirdina
largepotandaddenough
watertocoveritby3inches.
Bringtoaboilandskimoff
anyfoam.
Step 2:Addthevegetables
andseasonings.Simmer,
uncovered,untilthechicken
iscooked,about45minutes.
Step 3:Transferthechicken
toalargebowl.Whenit’s
coolenoughtohandle,strip
themeatfromthebones.
Step 4:Returnthebonesto
thepotandsimmerfor
anotherhour.Strainthebroth
(discardthesolids),season
withsaltandpepper,andadd
inhalftheshreddedchicken.
(Savetherestfortacos,
salads,orsandwiches.)Stirin
yourchoiceofadd-ins...
Add-ins:Cookedegg
noodles,brownorwildrice,
cannedwhitebeans,fresh
babyspinach,choppeddillor
parsley
Make It Better
Foraclearer,lessgreasy
broth,refrigerateitovernight.
Thenextday,skimoffthe
solidifiedfatandreheat.
Holy$#*!Kitchen
Trick
Ifyouhaveaknobof
leftoverginger,submerge
itinajarofvodkaand
storeitinthefridge.The
vodkapreservestheginger
forweekswithout
impartinganyflavor.But
thegingermakesthevodka
tastelikeginger,makingit
idealforcocktails.
WHIP UP
HOMEMADE
HUMMUS
Usethissimpletechnique
fromMichaelSolomonov,
executivechefofZahavinP
hiladelphia,tocreateatasty,
silkydipthatblowsawaythe
stuffinthetub.
Set the Foundation
Wholeingredientsmakegreat
hummus.Savetheliquid
froma15-ouncecanof
chickpeas—akagarbanzo
beans—andrinsethem.
Dumpthemintoafood
processororblenderwith1½
cupsofsesamepaste.
Smooth It Out
Pureewith½cupgrapeseed
oiland½cupfresh-squeezed
lemonjuice.Slowlyaddthe
reservedliquidfromthecan
untilthehummusiscreamy.
Seasontotastewithkosher
saltandcuminpowder.
Top It Off
Addflavorandsubstanceby
includingextraslikesautéed
mushroomsorslicedhardboiledeggs.Scoopthe
hummusontoaplate,makea
wellinthecenter,andspoon
theextrasintothewell.Serve
withwarmedpitaandbeer.
CEREAL KILLER
Wanttoterminatehighblood
pressure?Breakfasteveryday
onhigh-fiber,wholegrain
cereal.Accordingtoastudy
inClinicalNutrition,people
whoateatleastseven
servingsofwholegraincereal
had19percentlowerriskof
developinghypertensionlater
inlifethanpeoplewhoate
none.
MAKE A KILLER
TUNA SANDWICH
Ittakesmorethanmayoand
whitebread.Serveupthis
heartyvariationwith
guidancefromMarcMurphy,
executivechefofLandmarc
andDitchPlains,bothinNew
YorkCity.
1. UPGRADE THE
BASICS
Startwithcannedalbacore
tuna(akawhitetuna)—ithas
thebesttextureandmost
omega-3s.Usemayonnaise
madewitholiveoilfora
richerflavor,andbrightenit
withasqueezeoflemon.
2. MIX IN ADD-ONS
Finelydicedceleryandred
oniongiveflavorandcrunch,
afewcapersaddasaltykick,
andfreshlycrackedpepper
addsanicebite.
3. USE DECENT BREAD
Skiptheslicedsandwich
bread.Chooseciabattabread,
whichboastsarobusttexture
(orattheveryleastuserye
bread).Andalwaystoastyour
bread—itcreatesabarrier
thatkeepssogginessatbay.
Rule #6
Eat the bacon. Just not too
much. Fat doesn’t make you
fat. Too many calories does.
COOK A TURKEY
IN A TRASH CAN
Trash-canturkeyfreesup
Thanksgivingkitchenreal
estate,cooksquickly,and
tastesincredible.Seriously.
WHATYOU’LLNEED
Aluminum foil (two rolls of extrawide). New steel trash can (20gallon size). Newspaper,
charcoal briquettes (three 10pound bags), lighter fluid,
matches, broom handle or sturdy
stick (2 feet long), hammer, 1
turkey (about a 12-pounder),
thawed, giblets packet removed,
and rinsed. Large metal shovel.
Heatproof gloves. Bucket of
water. Fire extinguisher. Rub
turkey with olive oil and 4
tablespoons chopped fresh
rosemary; season all over with
salt and pepper.
1.Clearafirepitofany
rocks,twigs,orotherdebris,
andlineitwithfoil.
2.Usingacleanscrubbrush
andhotsoapywater,
thoroughlycleanandrinse
theinsideofthecan.
3.Moldafewsheetsoffoil
sotheyformabowllarge
enoughtoholdabout1½bags
ofcharcoal.Placethebowlin
thefirepit,offtotheside.
Linethebowlwithseveral
sheetsofnewspaper,fillit
withcharcoal,addlighter
fluid,andlightthepaper.The
coalsarereadywhenthey’re
coveredwithash,afterabout
20minutes.
4.Whilethecoalsare
heating,hammera2-footlongsticksecurelyintodirtin
thecenterofthefirepit.Then
shoveawadoffoilintothe
turkey’scavityandbalance
thebirdonthestick.Gently
placethecanoverthebird.
5.Shovelaringofcoals
againstthetrashcan’sbase,
andtheremainingcoalson
topofthecan.Lettheturkey
cookuntilthecharcoalturns
toash,about2hours.Ifthe
coalsturntoashandstartto
coolbefore2hours,shovel
onafreshlayerofcoals.
Theheatfromthesmoldering
briquetteswilllightthenew
ones.Important:Donotlift
thecantocheckonthe
turkey.Valuableheatwill
escapefromthetrashcanand
theturkeywillrequiremuch
moretimetocook.
6.Usingheatproofgloves,lift
thehotcanoffthecooked
bird.Sticktheturkeywitha
meatthermometer—ifitreads
165°Fatthethigh,it’ssafeto
eat.Dousethecoalswith
water,beingcautiousofthe
resultingsmokeorash.
SPRING-CLEAN
YOUR GRILL
1. Burn Off the
Gunk
Cranktheheat,closethegrill
lid,andleaveitfor10to15
minutes.Thehigh
temperaturewillcharfood
residuesoit’seasiertoscrape
off.
2. Scrub the Grates
Removethecharredresidue
fromthegrateswitha
semiflexiblestainless-steel
brush.Welikethelong-range
UltimateGrillCleaning
Brush.Ifthegrates’
undersidesaregreasy,
removethemandwipethem
downwithawet,soapy
sponge.Thenrinsethemwith
ahoseandtowel-dry.Ifyou
haveacharcoalgrill,jumpto
step5.
3. Attack the
Burners (Part 1)
Priciergrillsoftenhave
burnerprotectors—V-shaped
piecesofmetalguardingthe
gasjetsfromfooddrips.
Removethemanduseaputty
knifetoscrapegreaseoff.If
necessary,scrubthemwith
soapywater,hosethemoff,
andtowel-drythem.
4. Attack the
Burners (Part 2)
Cleantheburnerswiththe
stainless-steelbrush,usinga
side-to-sidemotion,nota
lengthwiseone.Thishelps
keepdebrisfromfallinginto
burners’holes.Lookclose:
Arethegasjetsclogged?If
so,usethetipofawire
hangertopokethroughthe
centerofeachone.Ifthe
holesarerusted,it’stimeto
replacetheburners.Remove
theburnersforthenextstep.
5. Hit the Walls
Scrapethewallsofthecook
boxwiththeputtyknife;you
wanttoremovecarbonized
greasesoitdoesn’taffectthe
flavorofyourfood.Very
filthygrillsmaywarranta
roundofdishsoapandwater.
6. Give It a
Rubdown
YourinauguralBBQcallsfor
ashinygrill.Ifithasa
stainless-steelfinish,wipethe
greaseawaywithadedicated
stainlesscleaneranda
semisoftsponge.Warmwater
worksfineforotherfinishes.
MAKE YOUR FOOD
TASTE SMOKIER
Noneedtolightupthegrill
inwinter.Theseingredients
addsmokewithoutfire.
Chipotle Hot Sauce
Thismahogany-hued
condimentaddsacomplex
kickofheattoburritos,
huevosrancheros,orroast
chicken—withouttheneedto
openacanofchipotles.
Tabascomakesagreat
version.
countrystore.tabasco.com
Smoked Sea Salt
Fortheultimatesteak,
sprinkleapinchofthis
seasoningonthemeatbefore
serving.Itssalty/smoky
comboratchetsupsavory
flavorsbetterthanregular
tablesalt.TryMaldon
SmokedSeaSaltonsteamed
vegetables,fish,andeven
chocolateice
cream.surlatable.com
Roasted Red Peppers
Theseslow-cookedpeppers
addasweet,lightlycharred
flavortoamild-tasting
sandwich(liketurkeyand
spinach)orsalad(mozzarella
andbasil).
Rule #7
Never serve warm food on a
cold plate. Heat your dishes in
a 150°F oven for 10 minutes
before plating a meal.
MACGYVER YOUR
BAR
Hyper-decant wine
Aeratingwineopensupthe
vino’saroma.Oenophilesdo
thisbypouringitintoa
decanter,butyoucanaerate
withhorsepowerinstead!
Pourthewineintoablender
andprocessitonhighfor30
to60seconds.Waitforthe
foamtosubside,andserve.—
NathanMyhrvold,coauthor
ofModernistCuisine
Chill beer fast
Warmbeersucks.Andyour
fridgesucksatchillingbeer
fast.Instead,add1
tablespoonofsalttoalarge
bowloficewateranddropin
yourbottles.Saltlowersthe
freezingtemperatureofthe
water,creatingamorearctic
environmentforyourbrew.—
JarridMasse,cofounderof
thePoorPorkerinLakeland,
Florida
Sip barworthy
whiskey on the
rocks
Makeicewithwaterfromthe
tapandyou’llendupwith
cloudycubes.Forcrystalclearice,boilthewaterfirst
toeliminatethedissolved
gases,andletthewatercool
beforepouringitintotrays.
—MarcelVigneron,CEOof
ModernGlobalTasting
Stage a rescue
operation
Ifthewinecorkbroke,fear
not.Pushthecorkalltheway
intothebottleusingthebutt
endofabutterknife.Then
double-knotoneendofa12inchlengthoftwineanddrop
thatendintothebottle.
Tiltingthebottle,usethe
knottedendtofishthecork
towardthebottle’sneckand
thenupandout.—Jarrid
Masse
Rule #8
Never store tomatoes,
peaches, potatoes, onions,
bread, garlic, or coffee in the
refrigerator. Cold temps
compromise the flavor and
texture of these foods.
MIX INCREDIBLE
HOMEMADE
SANGRIA
Thekey?Akickoftequila,
freshfruit,andwhitewine.
Theresultisn’tasheavyasa
pitcherofredandwon’tstain
yourlipsduringyour
backyardBBQ,says
BenjaminCarrier,beverage
directoratManhattan’sLos
Felizrestaurant.
Prep the Flavoring
Deseedthreepiecesoffruit,
suchasapeach,anorange,
andapear,andcuttheminto
chunks.Peelapieceofginger
thesizeofyourthumband
cutitintomatchsticks.Throw
everythingintoalarge
pitcher.Stirin1½
tablespoonsofagavenectar
or2tablespoonsofsugar.
Add the Alcohol
Pourabottleofwhitewine
intothepitcher.(Gowitha
whitethat’slightand
affordable,likeVinhoVerde
fromPortugal.)Topunchup
theflavorsofthefruitand
wine,add2ouncesof100
percentagavetequilatothe
pitcher.TryTres
GeneracionesPlata
(finewinehouse.com)orany
othertequilathat’sadvertised
asa“highland”tequila.
Finish the Drink
Squeeze2tablespoonsof
limejuiceintothepitcherand
add¼cupofseltzer.Stirthe
sangriawellandrefrigerate
foranhourtolettheflavors
meld.Beforeserving,topit
offwithice.
MAKE REAL
TEXAS-STYLE
CHILI
Improveyourtailgatewitha
lonestarstateassist.
STEP 1
Make a Chili Puree
Toachievedeep,robustchili
flavor,Texaschilistartswith
driedchiles.Trytwoancho,
onepasilla,twoguajillo,and
twochipotlechiles(available
insomesupermarketsand
fromthespicehouse.com;or
substitute4tablespoonsof
puredarkchilipowderand
threecannedchipotlechiles,
andcontinuewithstep3).
Makingthepureeisathreepartprocess:
Toast:Heatthestemmed
chilesinalargedryskillet
overmedium-lowheat,
turningthemfrequentlyuntil
they’refragrantandlightly
charred—about8minutes.(A
cast-ironskilletworksbest.)
Soak:Placethechilesina
largebowlofjust-boiled
waterandsoakthemuntil
tender,about20minutes.
Puree:Combineinablender
with1cupofbrewedcoffee.
STEP 2
Sear the Meat
Texaschiliismadewith
chunksofmarbledcutslike
bonelessbeefshort-rib,
braiseduntiltender.Cut2
poundsinto1-inchchunks
andbrownthemalloverina
large,heavypotwith2to3
tablespoonsofvegetableoil,
4to5minutes.Removethem
(andjuices)andsetaside.
STEP 3
Assemble the Chili
Aromaticvegetableslike
onionandgarlicroundoutthe
flavor,alongwithherbs,
spices,andbeer.Inthepot
youusedforthemeat,sautéa
largechoppedonionandtwo
mincedgarlicclovesuntil
softened.Returnthebeefand
itsjuicestothepotandadd½
teaspooneachofground
cuminanddriedthyme,and1
teaspoonofdriedoregano.
Thenaddyourchilipureeand
a12-ouncebottleofbeer—
whateveryou’redrinking.
Coverandsimmeronlow
untilthemeatisverytender,
aboutanhourand15
minutes.
STEP 4
Thicken the Stew
RealTexaschiliisthickened
withmasaharina,atypeof
cornflour.Finditinthe
internationalaisleofyour
grocery.(Nogo?Usefinely
groundcornmeal.)Ladle2
cupschiliintoabowlandstir
in3teaspoonsmasaharinaor
cornmeal.Returnthemixture
tothepot.Simmer15
minutes.Addsaltandpepper.
STEP 5
Serve with
Toppings
Dicedredonionaddscrunch,
gratedCheddaraddsrichness,
andpan-toastedcorntortillas
finishthemeal.
MOTOR THROUGH
A SINK OF DIRTY
DISHES
Takedownatowerofplates
fasterthanabusboybuzzed
ondinercoffee.
1. USE THE RIGHT TOOLS
UltraDawndetergentblasts
greaseandisenvironmentally
friendly.Alsobuyan
ergonomicbottlebrushto
easeyourscrubbing.
(oxo.com)
2. PROTECT YOUR BACK
Standwithyourfeetabout
doubleshoulderwidthapart.
You’llbringyourcenterof
gravityclosertothesink,
alleviatingtheneedtobend
over.
3. BUST GUNK
Forfoodcakedontopotsand
pans,addhotwaterandboil.
Soakifnecessary.Scrubwith
anylonpadafterthecrudhas
loosened.
WHIP UP THE
ULTIMATE SHRIMP
COCKTAIL
Skiptheboilingandspikethe
sauce.
Buy the Shrimp
Lookforfresh,large,shellon,deveinedGulfshrimp
(headon,ifpossible).
Cookingthemunpeeled
enhancestheirflavor.You’ll
need35shrimpofthe21/25
countsize(thatis,21to25
perpound).
Boost Their Taste
Createabrine:Inalarge
bowl,combine1cupof
water,2ouncesofkoshersalt
(about¼cup),and2ounces
ofsugar(about4½
tablespoons).Stiruntil
dissolved,andaddabout8
ouncesofice(about2cups).
Dumptheshrimpinand
refrigeratefor20to25
minutes.
Make Your Sauce
Blendthefollowinginafood
processoruntilalmost
smooth:1can(14ounces)of
dicedtomatoes,½cup
preparedchilisauce,¼cup
preparedhorseradish,1
teaspoonsugar,½teaspoon
salt,andapinchofpepper.
Refrigerate.
Broil the Shrimp
Boilingleachesflavor.
Instead,preheatafoil-lined
bakingsheet8inchesunder
thebroilerfor5minutes.
Rinsetheshrimp,patthem
dry,andtosstheminabowl
with1tablespoonofoliveoil
andapinchofOldBay.Broil
2minutes,flipwithtongs,
andbroil1minutemore.
Meanwhile,washthebowl
andputitinthefreezer.
Chill ’Em Out
Puttheshrimpinabowlin
thefreezer.Takeitoutand
tosseveryfewminutesuntil
they’vecooled,about15
minutes.
DIG CLAMS
Twentysmallclamshave
onlyabout280caloriesbut
packaproteinpunchof
almost50grams.Plus,clams
containhighlevelsofvitamin
B12.Putscrubbedclamsina
potwithwhitewine,garlic
cloves,parsley,andblack
pepper.Coverandsteamuntil
theyopen.Hitthemwith
lemonjuice.
Q: I’D EAT MORE
BROCCOLI IF I
COULD GET OVER
THE TASTE. HOW
CAN I DO THAT?
A.Mustard.Mixtheyellow
withthegreenandtheresult
isatastierbroccoli.It’llalso
bemorenutritious,says
ElizabethJeffrey,PhD,a
professorofnutritional
sciencesattheUniversityof
Illinois.“Mustardtriggersthe
releaseofsulforaphaneand
indoles,compoundsin
broccolithathelpyourliver
destroycarcinogensandother
toxins.”Otherflavor-masking
tricks:Tossthefloretsin
oliveoiland1teaspoonof
sugarandroastfor10
minutesat450°F—the
broccoliwillcaramelize,
becominglessbitter.
SHUCK AN
OYSTER—WITH A
SCREWDRIVER
Ifyoudon’thaveashucking
knifetopopopenthis
deliciousinstantappetizer,
headtothetoolbox.
1. SET THE STAGE
Grabacleanflathead
screwdriver,acuttingboard,
andakitchentowel.Filla
platterwithicetochillthe
ready-to-eatoysters.Scrub
themundercoldrunning
waterwithavegetablebrush.
2. LOCK AND POP
Lookforthehinge—where
theshellsmeetatthetapered
end.Tucktheoysterintothe
towelwiththehingeend
exposedandthecuppedside
oftheoysterdown.Holding
theoysterwiththetowel,
placethescrewdrivertip
betweentheshellsatthe
hinge.Twistthescrewdriver
untilthetopshellpopsfrom
thebottom.
3. FREE THE GOOD STUFF
Prythehalvesapartwiththe
screwdriver.Findthe
adductormuscle(towardthe
roundedend)andscrapeit
untilitdetaches.Chuckthe
topshell.Cleananydebris
withyourthumb.Separatethe
musclefromthebottomshell
byscrapingthetoolbeneath
themeat.
4. ONE LAST THING . . .
Justrememberthateatingraw
oysterscanincreaseyourrisk
offoodborneillness.
KnowYour
Oysters
EAST COAST
Malpeque
Wellfleet Blue Point
Prince
Edward
Island
Cape
Cod
Long Island
Sound
Small
because
they grow
slowly;
light, clean
taste.
Rich,
flavorful
brine
with mild
mineral
notes.
Firm
texture;
salty with
mild
mineral
notes.
WEST COAST
Olympia
Pacific
Kusshi
Kumamoto
Olympia,
British
California
Washington Columbia and
Oregon
The only
native West
Coast
variety is
petite and
tastes
smoky.
Pacific
oysters
are the
most
common;
Kusshis
boast a
pillowy
texture.
Tiny, so it’s
a good
beginner
oyster;
notes of
melon and
cucumber.
GO SAUCY
Bottledcocktailsaucedoesn’t
tasteasgoodasthefresh
stuff,somakeyourown:Ina
smallbowl,mixtogether½
cupketchup,2teaspoons
preparedhorseradish,2
tablespoonslemonjuice,1
teaspoonWorcestershire
sauce,andapinchoffreshly
groundblackpepper.Serve
withfreshlyshuckedoysters
orcooked,chilledshrimpasa
simpleappetizer.
Rule #9
Never nuke your lunch in
plastic. Even if the container is
BPA-free, phthalates can still
leach into your food,
potentially damaging sperm
and altering hormones, says
the National Institutes of
Health. Transfer the food to
glass before microwaving.
POP A PERFECT
BOWL OF
POPCORN
USE THE STOVETOP, NOT A
MICROWAVE, FOR FRESHERTASTING, MORE THOROUGHLY
POPPED KERNELS.
STEP 1:
Prep Your Pot
Inalargepot,heat2
tablespoonscanolaoilanda
fewpopcornkernelson
mediumhigh.Whenthe
kernelsbegintopop,theoilis
hotenough.Removethepot
fromtheheatandadd¼cup
popcornkernelsand½
teaspoonkoshersalt.Puton
thelidandcountto20,
allowingthepopcornandoil
toreachthesame
temperature;otherwisesome
ofthekernelswillburn.
STEP 2:
Steam and Shimmy
Withonehand,gentlymove
thepanbackandforthover
theburner;withyourother
hand,holdthelidlikeashield
overthepot,leavingit
slightlyajar.Theideaistolet
thesteamescapewithout
lettingthepopcornkernels
leapout.Heatthepopcorn
untilyounoticeadelayof
severalsecondsbetween
pops,about3minutestotal.
Transfertoabowl.
STEP 3:
Coat the Kernels
Inasmallpot,melt2
tablespoonsunsaltedbutter
and,ifyouwant,add
additionalflavors(below).
Oncethebutterismelted,
pouritoverthepopcorn,
coverthebowlwithadinner
plate,andgiveitafewshakes
tocoatevenly.Serve
immediately.Makes5to6
cupsofpopcorn.
Superior
Seasonings
Sweet Bombay
2teaspoonshotmadrascurry
powder+2teaspoonssugar+
¾cuptoasted,flaked,
unsweetenedcoconut
Salt Rim Margarita
1tablespoontequila+2
teaspoonschoppedpickled
jalapeños+1mincedgarlic
clove+zestandjuicefrom
onelime
Caesar Crouton Flavor
¼cupgratedParmesan+1
teaspoonfreshthymeleaves
+1mincedgarlicclove+½
teaspoonfreshlyground
pepper
TakeTwo
Blueberriesand
CallUsinthe
Morning
Acouplehandfulsoffresh
blueberriescanhelpyou
snackyourwaytobetter
hearthealth.AHarvard
studyfoundthatpeople
whoconsumedthemost
anthocyanins—foundin
highamountsin
blueberriesand
strawberries—had12
percentlowerriskof
developinghypertension
thanthosewhoconsumed
theleast.
HOW TO
RESUSCITATE A
DYING BROCCOLI
Nothing’sworsethanalimp
stalkofbroccoli.Checkthat,
therearesomethingsworse.
ButyoucanperformCPRon
almostanywiltedvegetable.
Simplydropyourelderly
produceintoabowlofice
waterbeforecooking.The
coldwaterwillpenetratethe
plant’scellstorestore
crispness.
HOLY$#*!
HEALTHTRICK
Sprinklesomevinegaron
thatsandwichbread.
ScientistsinSwedenfound
thatwhenpeople
consumed2tablespoonsof
vinegarwithahigh-carb
meal,theirbloodsugarwas
23percentlowerthan
whentheyskippedthe
vinegarchaser.
ROLL THE
PERFECT
BURRITO
TheGoal:Arrange
ingredientstoturnyour
tortillaintoaperfect
specimen.Followthesetips
fromNateAppleman,
culinarymanageratChipotle.
1. Go Big
A12-inchtortillaletsyou
stuffyourburritowith
ingredientsyetstillprovides
enoughroomtowrapit
tightly.(Ortryawholewheat
wrapformorefiberanda
nuttyflavor.)
2. Heat Your
Tortilla
Don’twarmtortillasinthe
microwave—they’llturn
soggy.Instead,heatthemina
dryskilletornonstickpanon
mediumhighuntilpuffedand
pliable,30to45secondsa
side.
3. Set a Foundation
Linethetortillawithricefirst,
tosoakuptheother
ingredients’juices.Leaving3
inchesaroundtheperimeter,
layeryourrice,beans,and
proteininaline.
4. Apply the
Finishing Touches
Addsourcream,salsa,or
guacamoleinalinebeside
(notatop)thelinesof
ingredients.Otherwiseyou
riskblobs,whichmakefor
inconsistentmouthfuls.Add
looseingredients(lettuce,
cilantro,slicedjalapeños,
shreddedcheese)lastsothey
canadheretothesourcream
andguac.
5. Secure the
Burrito
Withthelineoflayered
ingredientsorientedtopto
bottom,foldthetortilla’sleft
sidejustovertheingredients.
Thenfoldthebottomup
aboutaninch.Finally,finish
rollingtheburritotightly
fromlefttoright.Thetop
remainsopen.Nowchow
downonyourcreation,stainfree.
HOW TO BE A
FASTER FOODIE
Cook Quick-Peel Eggs!
Thefresheryoureggs,the
harderthey’llbetopeel.
Makehard-boiledeggseasy
byaddingabitofbaking
sodatothewaterbeforeyou
turnontheheat.Thebaking
sodapenetratestheeggs,
preventingthealbumininthe
whitesfromstickingtothe
shells.
Shop the Salad Bar
Stir-fryinghappensquickly,
buttheprepworkcanbea
slog.Foranyrecipethat
requireslotsofsliced
vegetables,raidyour
supermarket’ssaladbar.Not
onlyaretheingredients
precut,butyoucanalsobuy
theexactamountyouneed.
Speed Up Spuds!
Forfasterbakedpotatoesor
sweetpotatoes,startthemin
themicrowaveonhighfor1
minute.Thentransferthemto
apreheatedoven.You’llcut
thetimeinhalfwhile
maintainingthefluffytexture
thatonlybakingcanprovide.
Thaw Food Faster!
Don’tplacethatfrozenTboneonthecountertothaw
—that’showbacteria
multiply.Instead,sealmeatin
azip-topbaganddropitinto
abowlofcoldwaterinthe
sink,accordingtotheUSDA
FoodSafetyandInspection
Service.Changethewater
everyhalfhouruntilthemeat
thaws,2to3hoursfora3-to
4-poundpackage.
5 BELLY-FILLING
FOODS
Eachofthefollowing
containshunger-fighting
dosesofprotein,alongwith
fiberorfat,tohelpkeepyou
fulllongafteryou’veeaten.
BEST BALLPARK
FOODS
CrackerjackOptionstothe
UbiquitousDog
CITI FIELD, QUEENS
Pulled Pork Sandwich
MILLER PARK, MILWAUKEE
Cheese Curds (fried chunks of
cheese)
U.S. CELLULAR FIELD,
CHICAGO
Mexican-Style Elote Corn (corn
tossed with butter, lime, chili
powder, mayo, and cheese)
AT&T PARK, SAN FRANCISCO
Dungeness Crab Sandwich
TARGET FIELD, MINNEAPOLIS
Turkey Leg
SAFECO FIELD, SEATTLE
The Ichiroll (sushi roll of spicy tuna
with daikon radish sprouts and black
sesame seeds)
MINUTE MAID PARK, HOUSTON
Fajitas
MAKE THE
ULTIMATE
GUACAMOLE
Greatguacdoesn’trequire
tomatoormayo—that’sjust
howrestaurantssavemoney
byusinglessavocado.
The Avocado
Buythepear-shaped,roughskinnedHassvariety.(Its
textureisbest.)Ifthefattest
partyieldsslightlywhenyou
squeezelightly,it’sgood.If
it’ssoft,hasbrittleskin,or
thesmallbuttonuptopis
gone,it’sbrowninside.
The Guac
Peelanddicethreeavocados.
Inabowl,combinethemwith
asmallhandfulofchopped
freshcilantro,½cupchopped
whiteonion,oneminced
jalapeñoorserranochile,a
squeezeoflimejuice,andsalt
totaste.Mixvigorously.
Scoopthechoppedonioninto
astrainerandrunitunder
coldwaterfor30seconds.
Thisremovessulfurous
compoundsthatcan
overpowertheguacamole’s
taste.
HowtoWin
atEverything
You Need Skill,
Knowledge, a Few
Tricks, and a Little
Luck to Triumph.
Find Three of Four
Here.
Manyverysmartpeople
havesaidaboutwinningthat
therealrewardisfoundinthe
struggleandeffortyoumake
asyoustrivetoward
greatness.That’salltrue.We
havegreatadmirationforthe
manwhohasleftitallonthe
fieldattheendofthegame
evenifhehasnopointson
thescoreboard.Butonthe
flipside,let’sbehonest:
Nobodywantstobelabeled
therunner-up,asister-kisser,
aloser.
Weliketowin.So
whateveryou’recompeting
forinlife,noonewillever
tagyouwiththose
descriptionsagainthanksto
thischapter.Fromwinning
thewishbonetobarbets,
Scrabbletogolf,pickup
basketballtoRock,Paper,
Scissors,andeverythingin
between,weknowhowtoput
’eminyour“W”column.
KICK BUTKUS IN
FLAG FOOTBALL
Leavedefensesbewildered
andquarterbacksdizzywith
thisplaybookfromJerry
Johnson,2004USFlag&
TouchFootballLeague
NationalHallofFame
inducteeandheadcoach.
Own the End Zone
Flagfootballisafastergame
thantackle.Withmore
rushing,successdependsless
onpassplays,whichcan
resultininterceptions.
Instead,protecttheQB’sruns
withtwogoodblocking
backs,ormoveyourslot
receiverintomaxprotection
asthethirdblockertoattempt
adeeppass.
Steal This Play
Torackuppointsonoffense,
calla“throwback”maneuver:
Afterthesnap,the
quarterbackstepsup3yards
andthenthrowstohismanin
motion.Thequarterbackthen
becomesapotentialreceiver
sprintingalongthesideline.
It’llworkaslongasBig
UncleBubbaisn’tyourQB.
Solidify Your D
Mostflagfootballteams
expectthepass,sothey
overcoverthepotential
receivers.Youcanbreakup
moreplaysbyalwaysblitzing
atleasttworushersoneach
playtocontaintheQB,
designatingthefastest
defenderasapowerrusherto
swatdownhurriedpassesor
makethesack.
Rule #1
Encouraging yourself with
non-first-person pronouns
(“You can kick his ass”) is
more effective than using first
person (“I can kick his ass”),
according to the Journal of
Personality and Social
Psychology.
SnagTheFlag
Don’tblindlyswipeatthe
flag.Squareyourshoulders
andreachtowardthe
runner’swaistwhile
keepinghimdirectlyin
frontofyou.Thiswillslow
him,givingyouextratime
togethelpfromyour
teammatesorgrabtheflag
belt,yankingitoffinone
swiftmotion.
WIN THE
WISHBONE
1. Retrieve the wishbone.
Place the bird on its back and locate
the V-shaped valley between the
breasts. Gently pull the wishbone
from beneath the middle muscle
flap. Rinse the grease off the bone
and give it some time to dry.
2. Choke up.
Grasp the wishbone between your
thumb and forefinger as close as
possible to the base of the V.
3. Let your opponent do the work.
Simply hold the wishbone—the
other guy can tug. He’ll probably
pull out and up, which will shift the
breaking point from the center to his
side. Stand firm and you should
watch the bone break in your favor
most of the time.
HowtoWinan
Argument
Letyourfoepresenthis
entireargumentwithout
interruption.Allowinghim
toblowoffsteamwill
makehimmorereceptive
toyourpoint.Thenrestate
hisviewbeforeyoupresent
yourcasetoshowthatyou
understandhim;he’llbe
morelikelytobeswayed
byyourcalmlypresented
logic.Nevergetpersonal.
It’llonlypisshimoffand
makehimlesswillingto
concede.
SCORE ON THE
FAST BREAK
Finishstrongwithadvice
fromNewYorkKnicksguard
ArronAfflalo.
If You Have an
Open Court.
Makearunforitusingthe
fewestdribblespossible.
NBAproscanmakeittothe
hoopfromhalfcourtwithtwo
orthreestrongdribbles.If
youminimizethenumberof
timestheballhitsthefloor,
you’llbookittothebasket
faster.
If One Man Is
Guarding You.
Keepyourmanbackpedaling
—hecan’tjumpashighto
blockyourshot.Protectthe
ballwithyourfreeforearmas
youjumpandbanktheball
offthetopcornerofthe
square.
If They Caught Up
and Pushed You to
the Baseline.The
defenderisn’tasthreatening
ashisbackup.Ifthey’reboth
onthestrongside,goupand
underforareverselayup.If
they’rewatchingtheweak
side?Hitaquickjumper.
RULE THE POOL
TABLE
Poolhustlersknowthat“grip
itandripit”doesn’twork.
Startyourgamesusingthese
smartbreakstrategiesfrom
MaxEberle,creatorofthe
PowerfulPoolDVDseries
andheadinstructorat
ProPoolAcademy.com.
Prepare the Ammo
Yourgoalistoblastthecue
ballintotheheadballatan
anglethatforcesalltheballs
toexplodeoutwardfromthe
pointofimpact.Todothis,
placethecueballwithin6
inchestotheleftorrightof
theheadspot(thebull’s-eye
onthetable’sfelt),depending
onwhichsidefeelsmost
comfortable.
Approach the
Table
Forapowerfulbreak,you
needapowerfulstance.
Positionyourforwardfoot
beneaththelineofyourcue
tohelpstabilizetheshot.Step
backwiththeotherfootso
yourfeetarebeyondshoulder
widthapart;atthesametime
pointyourtoesalittleless
than90degreesfromtheline
ofyourcue.
Build a Bridge
Newbsmovetheirstabilizing
handwhentheyshoot,
causingthecuetiptoswerve.
Putyourleadhandonthefelt,
keepingtheheelofyourpalm
flatandyourfingersfanned
andextendedtoforma
bridge.Tuckyourthumbto
yourindexfingerandtent
yourhand.Restthecueinthe
crookthatforms.
Plan the Break
Adjustyourhandbridgeto
aimyourcue1⁄16inchabove
thecueball’scenter;thiswill
makeitstopinthecenterof
thetableafterthebreak.Hold
thecuelooselywithyour
backhand.Atoo-tightgrip
tensesthemusclesinyour
armandshoulders,increasing
yourriskofawaywardbreak.
Execute the Break
Tokeepyourstrokesmooth,
cradlethecueinthepadsof
yourfingers.Restyour
weightonyourbackfootand
thenforcefullytransferthe
weighttoyourfrontfoot.
Keepingyourelbowtucked
nexttoyourside,hittheball
ashardasyoucan,following
throughforgreatestaccuracy.
Chalk It Up
Thebluestuffhelpscreate
frictionbetweenthetipand
thecueballformoreaccurate
shots.Mostpeoplespinthe
tipinthechalk;thisprevents
thechalkfromsticking,
resultinginaslipperytip.
Instead,strokethecuetip
withthechalkforbetteredge
coverage(threetofivetimes
around).Alwaysapplychalk
beforeyoubreak.
Rule #2
When betting on horses, it’s
wiser to consider the horse’s
trainer’s winning percentage
over the jockey’s.
JUMP A BALL
This trick can rescue you from one
of the toughest spots on the billiards
table, says Shanelle Loraine, a pro
player with Dragon Promotions.
Change Weapons
It’s best to use a jump cue, which is
a shorter stick. Hold it loosely, for
fluidity and control. Set a sturdy
base grip with a traditional openhand bridge.
Aim Down
Your cue and line of sight should
point downward, with your cue
angled 30 to 45 degrees—much
higher than normal. Don’t target the
bottom of the ball—you risk
scooping (an illegal hit) or worse,
tearing the cloth. Instead, imagine
you’re piercing through the center of
the ball.
Fire Quick
Striketheballhardwitha
sharpmovement.Theslight
downwardmotionprovided
byyourstanceshouldbe
enoughtopropeltheballover
theobstacleballwithalittle
backspin.
WIN ANY BAR
FIGHT
Theprincipleis“distractand
conquer.”There’sareason
whyamagicianwavesa
wand.Itallowshimtomove
theotherhandmorefreely
undetectedwhiletheaudience
isfocusingonthewand.You
canusethisbitofmagicto
youradvantageinabarfight.
Here’show:Ifsomepunk
backsyouintoacorner,first
fakearoundhouseright.Then
hithimwithafastleftjab.
He’llbesofocusedon
followingthebigcurved
movethathe’llmissthe
straightattack.Whilethejab
isn’tverypowerful,hewon’t
seeitcoming,andthenyou
canfollowwithahook.
Presto-change-o!Nowyou’ve
takenhimtoschool...and
he’slearnedalessonhewon’t
soonforget.
WIN AN ARMWRESTLING
MATCH
THINK: HIGH,
TIGHT, AND FAST.
Grip highonyourfoe’s
thumbtoincreaseyour
leverage.
Stay tightbykeepingthe
distancebetweenyourhand
andbodyascloseaspossible.
Move fastatthestart.The
playerwhomakesthefirst
strongmoveusuallywins.
Fewarm-wrestlingmatches
lastlongerthan10seconds.
BEAT ANYONE AT
AIR HOCKEY
Don’tsmashthepuckand
hopeforthebest.Slowdown,
studyyouropponent,and
waitforyourtimetostrike.
The Grip
Plantyourindexandring
fingersfirmlyinthegroove
betweentheknobandtherim
ofthemallet.Yourmiddle
fingershouldbendslightly,
withtheknuckletouchingthe
knob.Yourthumbandpinkie
shouldrestoutsidethemallet.
Movethemalletbyturning
yourwrist,notyourhand.
Thisallowsyoutoreactfaster
tothepuck.
The Defense
Holdthemalletaboutafoot
fromthegoal,anddon’t
sweeptoofartochasethe
puck—you’llleaveyourself
open.Whenyoublockashot,
tapthepucklightlytokeepit
onyourside.Thenlookat
youropponent’sposition
beforefiringback.
The Offense
Ifyoufindyouropponent
guardingthegoalclosely,
attackhimwithstraightshots
toeithercornerofthegoal.If
heusuallykeepshismallet
outawayfromthegoal,bank
thepuckoffthesiderailso
thepucktravelsaroundand
behindthemalletbeforehe
canbringitbacktoblockthe
goal.
BEAT A SPEEDING
TICKET
Start Off Right
Pulloverassoonasyousee
theofficer’slights.Turnon
yourinteriorlightifit’sdark
out,andhaveyourlicense
andinsurancecardready.
Thiswillputhiminagood
mood.
Don’t Hem and
Haw
Officersareliedtosooften
thatit’srefreshingwhen
someonejustfessesup.
Acknowledgewhereyou
erredandpromiseyou’llbe
safer.Throwinanapologyas
well.
Cop a Plea
Nowthatyou’veprovedyour
sincerity,askforabreak:“I
earnedthatcitation,but
wouldyoumindissuingmea
warninginstead?Itwon’t
happenagain.”Beingdirect
maywork.
Win in Court
Ifyoudogetaticket,
considerlawyeringup.A
goodattorneycanturnasixpoint“30mphover”ticket
intoafour-point“unsafelane
change”ticket—andyou
won’thavetogotocourt.
ROCK, PAPER,
SCISSORS, WIN!
Boostyouroddsofwinning
withtipsfromthescientistsat
China’sZhejiangUniversity
whocompletedalarge-scale
studyofplayerbehaviorin
thetimelessplayground
game.Theresearchersfound
sometypicalpatternsof
playerbehavioremergeinthe
secondandthirdroundsof
thegame:
Ifaplayerwins,hewill
usuallyplaythesame
item.(WinwithScissors,
he’llplayScissorsagain.)
Ifaplayerloses,hewill
typicallyswitchtothenext
iteminthesequenceofthe
nameofthegame.For
example,ifheloseswith
Rock,he’llusuallypick
Paper.Ifheloseswith
Paper,he’llpickScissors.
LoseswithScissors,he’ll
pickRock.
Youcangaintheadvantage
byunderstandingthisand
quicklypredictyour
opponent’snextchoice.
WIN SCRABBLE
EVERY TIME
Hammerthecompetitionwith
thesestrategiesfromthreetimenationalScrabble
championJoeEdley.
Run the Board
Yes,earlyinthegame(or
lateron,ifyou’relosing),you
wanta“bingo”thatusesall
seventiles,racksup50bonus
points,andcrushesyour
opponents’hopes.Butif
you’reaheadbymorethan70
points,gointodefensive
mode:Block,orusedoubleortriple-word-scoretiles
whereverpossible.
Balance the Rack
Think“entrails.”Itsletters(in
order,SRNTLforconsonants
andEALforvowels)arethe
mostversatilebingobuilders
inthegame.Thosehigh-point
tiles(Q,X,Z,J)?Rookies
maybogartthem,butyou
knowbetter.Getridofthem
quickly(see“GoSmall”),
becausethey’retoughtouse
inlong,game-changing
words.
Use Word
Extenders
Tobuildthosebingos,you’ll
needtomanageyourtiles.
Trytokeepyourbalanceof
vowelsandconsonants
relativelyequal.Cultivate
prefixes(pre-,over-)and
suffixes(-ing,-able,-ive).
Thendeploythemonthe
boardtocreatecommon
wordssuchasovercome,
staying,capable,orpreface.
Go Small
Mostplayersassociatelong
wordswithbigpoints,but
unlessit’sabingo,stretching
lettersacrosstheboardgives
youropponentaccessto
scoringpointsfromthebonus
squares.Shortwords(ZA,QI,
AX,JO,XI)boostyourscore,
useuptough-to-playletters,
andhelpyoukeepthegame
underyourcontrol.
SHRED THE AIR
GUITAR
TipscourtesyofWilliam
Ocean,2009USAirGuitar
Championshipwinner:
1. Envision Your
Ax
Ifyoucan’tpictureyour
guitar,nobodyelsecan.Put
thestrapoveryourheadand
don’tforgettotune.You’ll
setparametersfortheguitar’s
size.
2. Hold It Right
Restyourdominanthand
acrossyourwaistline,about4
inchesfromyourbody.Your
otherhandshouldhoverat
least2feetuptheneck.
3. Time Your
Fingers
Strummingisboring.Instead,
timeyourfingermovements
tomajorkeychangesinthe
music—andnodorthrust
forwardasyoudosopeople
canseethatyou’resynced
withit.
4. Pace Yourself
Walkandpurseyourlips—
butspaceoutthearmswings
andjumps,oryou’lllook
spasmodic.
WilliamOcean’s
TopThreeFaceMeltingAir-Guitar
Tracks
“Let’sGoCrazy,”Prince
&theRevolution
“JukeBoxHero,”
Foreigner
“Jane,”JeffersonStarship
WIN A BAR BET
Putacoupleofpintson
someoneelse’stabwithThe
Dime-DropDeception.
Bet This
Youcandropadime,
suspendedaboveabeerbottle
withonlyatoothpick,intothe
bottle.Andyou’llaccomplish
thisfeatwithouttouchingthe
bottle,toothpick,ordime.
Do This
Foldatoothpickinhalf,
makingaV,andthenrestit
onthemouthofthebottleso
thetoothpickisparalleltothe
table.Thencarefullyplacea
dimeontopofthefolded
toothpicksoitrestsslightly
offcenteroverthemouthof
thebeerbottle.
Nowslowlydripafew
dropsofwaterontothefold
inthetoothpick.Thewater
willgraduallycausethewood
toexpand,makingthe
toothpickspreadoutwardand
allowingthedimetodrop
intothebottle.
Remember:Youlose
valuablepointsifyourbeer
bottleisn’tempty.
WIN AT THE
CASINOS
Lookatthehouseedgeand
thespeedofthegame,says
FrankScoblete,authorof
BeattheCrapsoutofthe
Casinos.“Howmanygames
youplayperhourandhow
manydecisionsyouhaveto
makecandeterminehowfast
thecasino’sedgeaddsup.”
Blackjackmightgivethe
dealeronlya0.5percent
statisticaladvantage,but
you’llplayasmanyas100
handsperhour.Rouletteis
slow-paced,butthedealerhas
awhopping5.26percent
advantage.Scoblete’sadvice:
Joinapackedblackjacktable
sothedealercan’tchurn
throughcardsasfast,orbelly
uptoacrapstable,which
offerssomeofthebestodds
inthecasino.Forgetabout
thepatchworkquiltofbetting
optionsandlaydown$6
“place”betsonboththe6and
8.Wheneversomeonerolls
eitherofthosetwonumbers,
you’llwin$7forevery$6
youwager.Oddsdictatewhat
willhappen10timesoutof
36rolls.“You’regettingalot
ofactionwithoutbeing
involvedinallthedecisions,”
saysScoblete.“That’salotof
entertainmentforyour
money.”
Rule #3
When betting on horses, it’s
wiser to consider the horse’s
trainer’s winning percentage
over the jockey’s.
HOW TO PUNT A
FOOTBALL HIGH
AND DEEP
FormerDallasCowboysAllProkickerShayneGraham
helpsyouputthefootin
football.
Take Your Position
Deep,accuratepuntsrequire
controlledform.Griptheball
withyourdominanthandasif
youweregivingahandshake,
nestlingitbetweenyour
thumbandfingers.Extend
yourarmforwardasfaras
youcanandholdtheball
horizontally,withthenose
pointingslightlytoyourleft
(ortoyourrightifyou’relefthanded).Keepthelacesup.
Make Contact
Startingwithyourkicking
foot,taketwostepsforward
tobuildmomentumandthen
swingyourfootouttomeet
yourhand.Makecontactwith
theballaslateasyoucanso
you’realmostkickingit
straightoutofyourfingers.If
youdroptheballtooearly,
you’remorelikelytohavea
waywardpunt.Asmoothkick
willflyfartherthanifyou
simplyblasttheball.
RunFartherthan
YoudidYesterday
Insteadoftakingonan
extraquartermileatthe
endofyourregularroute,
beginyourrunafew
blocksaheadofyourusual
startingpoint.Bythetime
youreachyourregular
turnaround,yourmindhas
allbutforgottenthat
you’veactuallygone
fartherthannormal.
PULL OFF AN
APRIL FOOLS’
PRANK
Punklikeaprowiththese
practical-joketips,courtesy
ofStreeterSeidellandAmir
Blumenfeld,collegehumor.
comstaffersandhostsof
PrankedonMTV.
RULE 1: Keep It
Simple
Themorecomplicatedyou
maketheprank(multiple
people,intricateplans),the
tougheritwillbetopulloff.
Think:Stickastuffeddead
birdinyourbuddy’sfavorite
cerealbox,rigacamera,and
watchhimhavebreakfast.
Surprising.Easy.Hilarious.
RULE 2: Have Your
AV Setup Down
It’stheYouTubeage:Pranks
mustbeshared.Crispvideo
qualitycanadddrama.
Stabilizethecamerawitha
discreetmount;theflexible
GorillaPodVideotripod
(joby.com)canfitintogood
hidingspots.
RULE 3: Be Mean
Don’thurtanyone,butgreat
pranksofteninvolvesome
kindoftemporaryemotional
stress.It’swhyawhoopee
cushionpalesincomparison
torespondingtoyourpal’s
snarkye-mailabouta
colleaguewith,“Hey—did
youmeantocchimonthis?”
Freshoutofprankideas?
Trythese.
AT WORK: Idle
Hands
Inapublicplace,challengea
coworkertoacoordination
test:Tellhimtoclosehis
eyesandmovehishand
verticallyupanddown
betweenbothofyourhands,
whichyou’reholdingabouta
footapart—buthemustdoit
withouthittingyourhands.
Assoonashestarts,quietly
stepawayandleavethe
room.
HANGING WITH
BUDDIES: Cell
Phone Swap
Askyourfriendifyoucan
seehisphoneforasec.(Say
yoursisdeadandyouwantto
checksomescores.)While
entrustedwithhisphone,
changehisex-girlfriend’s
numbertoyourown.
Throughoutthedaybombard
himwith“Callmenow!”
texts.Whenhecallsback,
startlaughingathim.
AT WORK: Mouse
Gremlin
PlaceaPost-itNoteundera
colleague’smousesoit
blocksthelaser.(Trimthe
edgessoit’snotvisible.)
He’llspendagood15
minutesstrugglingwiththe
mouse,cable,andcomputer
beforefinallyturningitover.
FAKE YOUR WAY
THROUGH
SPORTING CLAYS
Knowthegame:Youyell,
“pull!”andtheguyoperating
thetargetreleasehitsabutton
launchingaclay“bird”target
(ortwo)foryoutoblowto
smithereens.
Ready . . .
Havethecourseguiderelease
apracticetargetsoyoucan
seeitspath.(Don’tshootat
thisone.)Squareyourhipsin
thedirectionyou’llbe
shooting—typicallythehigh
pointofthetarget’sarc.
Plantthebuttofthegun
intothepocketofyour
shoulderfirmlyenoughthatit
can’tslip—thiswillsoften
therecoil.
Aim . . .
Pointyourbarrelabout
halfwaybetweenyour
estimatedfiringspotandthe
launcher.Keepbotheyes
openformaximumaccuracy.
Aftercalling“pull!”spotthe
targetinyourperipheral
visionandstarttryingto
“coverit”withthemuzzle.
Don’tplaycatch-up—if
anything,stayabitaheadof
thetarget.
Fire!
Whenthetargetreachesyour
firingpointandyour
muzzle’soverit,pullthe
trigger—butdon’tstopyour
movement.Maintainyour
follow-throughforgreater
accuracy.
10 RULES OF SAFE GUN
HANDLING
1. Alwayskeepthe
muzzlepointedina
safedirection.
2. Firearmsshouldbe
unloadedwhennot
actuallyinuse.
3. Don’trelyonyour
gun’s“safety”.
4. Besureofyourtarget
andwhat’sbeyondit.
5. Usecorrect
ammunition.
6. Ifyourgunfailsto
firewhenthetrigger
ispulled,handlewith
care!
7. Alwaysweareyeand
earprotectionwhen
shooting(unlikethe
clownabove).
8. Besurethebarrelis
clearofobstructions
beforeshooting.
9. Don’talterormodify
yourgun,andhave
gunsserviced
regularly.
10. Learnthemechanical
andhandling
characteristicsofthe
firearmyouareusing.
Rule #4
Stay with the gun. In skeet
shooting, one of the most
common mistakes shooters
make is taking the gun off
their shoulder too quickly.
That breaks the gun’s
momentum and wastes the tail
end of the shot. Try staying
with the target after you pull
the trigger before lowering the
stock.
DOMINATE THE
PUB DARTBOARD
Lessonone:Don’tthrow
anythingifyoucan’tfocuson
yourbull’s-eye.Also...
Give the Shoulder
Newbsusuallyfacethe
dartboard,astancethat
allowsforerrantthrows.
Instead,standwiththe
shoulderofyourthrowing
armfacingtheboard.This
locksyourarm,ensuring
dartsflytrue.
Plant Your Feet
Ifyoulunge(orworse,jump)
inanattempttoaddoomphto
yourthrow,you’llsendyour
dartoffcourse.Your
throwingpowershouldcome
fromyourbiceps,elbow,and
wrist.Keepyourbodyrigid
tocreateagoodfoundation.
Don’t Throw
Elbows
Yourelbowshouldnaturally
moveslightlyupwardor
downwardtoadjusttothe
heightofyourtargetonthe
board.
Ease Your Grip
Thetighteryouclampdown
onthedart,theharderitisto
transitionintoaquick,
smoothrelease.
Stay Focused
Aimforanexactpointonthe
board—notasection.The
morefocusedyoureyesare,
thelessspaceyou
subconsciouslyallowyour
armtomoveandcausea
miss.
CONQUER
CARNIVAL GAMES
Wanttowinthegiantbunny
foryourdate?Yourbestodds
ofwinningarewithballoon
darts(57percent),skee-ball
(46percent)andwatergun
races(36percent);ringtoss
onthesodabottleisnearly
impossibleat(2percent).
Balloon darts:Aimatthe
shiniestballoons;they’re
reflectinglightbecause
they’rethemostinflated,or
readytopop.Throwhard,
arcingyourdartsoit’smore
likelytohitthetopofthe
balloon,wherethelatexis
stretchedtightest.
Skee-ball:Don’twaste
shotsonhard-to-nail100pointers.Shootforthe40pointcenter.Ifyoumiss,
you’llstillscore.
Water gun races:Watcha
racetopickthemostaccurate
gun.Thenpayfortwogames
upfront.Calibrateyouraim
thatfirstgame.Thenmaintain
thatfiringpositionforthe
nextone.
Basketball shooting:The
rimissqueezedslightly,so
you’llmisswithanythingbut
aswish.Sincethehoopis
alsocloserthantypicalfreethrowdistance,ahigher-thanusualtrajectorywillincrease
oddsthatitwillfallthrough.
NAIL THE CHIP
SHOTS
Shavestrokesaroundthe
greenwithanassistfrom
MarkWilson,oneofthebest
short-gameplayersonthe
PGATour.
Club Down
Foralessriskyshot,“bump
androll”theballbetweenthe
edgeofthegreenandthe
hole.Don’tbeafraidtousea
pitchingwedgeor9-iron(or
lower)tostarttheshot.
Set Up Your Shot
Usinganarrowstance,align
theballwithyourbackfoot’s
bigtoe.Placemoreweighton
yourfrontfoot.Theshaft
shouldleansoyourhandsare
aheadoftheclubface.Keepa
shortbackswing,wrists
locked.
Hit the Practice
Green
Pickafewpinsonapractice
green.Takenineballsandhit
towardapin,neveraimingat
thesamepintwiceinarow.
Addupthedistancesthe
shotssitfromtheirpins.
Morethan90feet?Tryagain.
Survive a Rough
Patch
Ifyourballisburied,break
outahigher-loftedsand
wedgeorlobwedgetomake
suretheballliftsintheair.
Usethesamemechanicsas
normalandlettheclubdothe
work.
Rule #5
You can never practice too
many long putts.
BE A FOOSBALL
WIZARD
Rawpowerdoesn’tbring
victory—speed,control,and
shotsetupdo.LetRyan
Moore,world-rankedtable
soccerchampion,helpyou
dominate.
A. Learn Ball
Control
Positionyourindexfinger
andthumbintheindentsof
thehandle.Aclosed-fistgrip
limitsyourrangeofmotion
andslowsyoudown.
B. Serve—to
Yourself
Whenyouserve,placeyour
indexfingerontherightside
oftheballintheservinghole
andgentlyflickitasyou
release.Thisaddsspin.The
ballwillexitatanangle—
straighttowardyourplayers.
C. Perfect the Stop
Ifyoustandfirm,theballwill
bouncebacktoyour
opponent.Instead,turnthe
handletowardtheballso
yourlittledude’sfoottrapsit
underneath.
D. Develop Surefire
Attacks
Pass shot:Opponents
expectdirectshots,sopass
betweenplayersonthesame
rodbeforeshooting.
Side sweep:Centerkicks
areeasilyblocked.Movethe
balltotheedgeofthetable
andhavetheplayerbrushthe
sideoftheballforanangled
shot.
WIN AT
CHECKERS
•GetakingASAP,evenifit
meanssacrificingafew
piecestoopenapath.
•Pushthroughthecenterto
disruptyouropponent’s
forces.
•Callupyourbackrow
quickly.Don’twaitto
developthosepieces.
Source:U.S.checkerschampRyan
Pronk
TACKLE MINI
GOLF LIKE
NICKLAUS
Weaskedtwopros(yep,they
exist)howtheyattackthe
threehardestshotsinthe
game.
The Downhill
Astraight-linehole-in-oneis
nearlyimpossiblehere—the
ballpicksuptoomuchspeed.
Aimforthebackwallslightly
toonesideofthehole.The
ballwillreboundandroll
backtowardit.Withtheright
touch,youmaystopcloseor
evensinkone.
The Double Uphill
Poweringupbothhillsinone
shotistoorisky.Aimyour
firstputttoonesideofthe
“fairway”sothatitbanksand
slowstoastoponthefirst
tier.Repeattopositionthe
ballsafelyonthesecondtier.
Ifanobstaclesitsonthetop
tier,aimfortherailbehindit.
Thatwayifthebankgoes
awry,theobstaclewillkeep
theballfromslidingbackto
thetee.
The Diabolical “L”
Mostpeoplebanktheballoff
themiddleofthediagonalin
thecorner.Thiscausesthe
balltoricochetbetweenthe
rails.Instead,hittheballoff
thefarendofthediagonal;it
willkickonceofftherailand
coasttowardthehole.
Bonus
Findqualityminigolfcourses
at
prominigolf.com/uscourses.htm
ortrytheiLocateMiniGolf
apponyoursmartphone.
Source:MattMcCaslinandTimTally,
oftheU.S.ProMiniGolfAssociation
BEAT YOUR LAST
5-K TIME
Loseweight.Foreverypound
offatyoulose,youcanshave
2to5secondsoffeverymile,
saysJeffGalloway,running
guruandauthorwhotrained
withStevePrefontaineand
BillRodgers.
Rule #6
If you want to win an eating
contest, keep the food moist
and don’t chew, just swallow.
DRILL YOUR
TENNIS SERVE
It’skeytoelevatingyour
game,saysproplayer
MichaelRussell.
Harness the
Racket’s Power
Usea“continental”grip:
Holdtheracketlikeanax,
withthefaceinlinewithyour
forearm.Movetheheelof
yourhandtothebaseofthe
grip,withyourpinkieonthe
bottomofthehandle.
Align Your Body
Standwithyourfeetshoulder
widthapart,yourdominant
footparalleltothebaseline,
andyourotherfootangled45
degreestowardtheline.Place
slightlymoreweightonyour
dominantfoot.
Don’t Overtoss
Tocreateforward
momentum,tosstheballtoan
apex6to8inchesinfrontof
you,and1to2feethigher
thanwhereyourracketwould
strikeit.Don’tthrowhigher
andtrytohititontheway
down.
Smash It
Bringtheracketbehindyou
inonebigarcandstrikethe
ballwiththeracketangled
slightlydownward,toward
youropponent.Don’tbend
yourelboworjump,and
don’ttakeyoureyeoffthe
ball.Followthroughwith
yourswing.
HOW TO SLAM A
TABLE TENNIS
SERVE
Start with Perfect
Grip
Holdthepaddleasifyou’re
shakinghands—withyour
fingerswrappedaroundthe
handle.Placeyourslightly
bentthumbalongthesideof
thehandlethatfacesyour
opponent.Layyourindex
fingeracrossthebaseofyour
sideofthepaddle.Thisgrip
providesyouwithgreater
control.Nowaddadoseof
unpredictabilitywithalittle
spin:
Topspin
Holdthepaddleata45degreeanglesothetopedge
istiltedtowardyour
opponent.Startthestroke
belowtheballandswingup
andforward.
Backspin
Holdthepaddleat45degrees
sothetopedgeistiltedaway
fromyouropponent.Startthe
strokeabovetheballand
brushitdownandforward.
Sidespin
Withthepaddleandyour
indexfingerparalleltothe
table,swingsidewaysto
brushtheball.
For All Spins
Theclosertheballistothe
tipofthepaddle,themore
spinitwillhave.
Rule #7
Let out a grunt whenever you
hit a tennis ball. A study in the
Journal of Strength and
Conditioning Research found
that the ball travels 4 percent
faster through the air when
you do.
PICK NCAA
BRACKET
BUSTERS
MostMarchMadnessfans
assesstheseeds,selectan
upsetortwo,andthrowdown
theirpicks.Here’samore
informedwaytoincrease
yourodds:
Look to Last Year
Bracketbuilderstendtofocus
onthecurrenttournamentand
forgettheteams’past
performance.Lookforlast
year’ssleeperteamsthat
playedhardandlostintough
gamesbutretainedthesame
coachandmanyplayers.
Bonuspointsforteamsnow
stockedwithseniors.
Scan the Score
Lists
Headtoncaa.orgtocheckout
scoresforthecurrentseason.
Blowoutgamescanhelpyou
pickwinners,butpaymore
attentiontoclosegamesfrom
underratedteams.Thoseare
yourupset-boundpicks.
Analyze the Stats
Cometournamenttime,check
outusatoday.comforitsindepthlookatdetailedstats
behindthepoints.Noticea
teamthat’sranked60thin
three-pointerdefenseplaying
ateaminthetopthreefor
sinkingthetrey?Lockdown
thebracket.
Check the Odds
Evenifyou’renotabetting
man,seewhatVegashasto
sayaboutthespread.Vegas
playsitsafe,andifit’ssaying
theoppositeofwhatmost
sportscastersarepredicting,
considersidingwiththe
house.
ACE YOUR
FANTASY
FOOTBALL DRAFT
ESPN’sgridironguru
MatthewBerry,authorof
FantasyLife,showsyouhow
todraftsmartandschoolyour
league.
Scout Preseason
Games
They’renotriveting,but
watchanyway—especially
thethirdgame,whenstarters
playthelongest.Notewhich
receiverdrawsthemostQB
looksandwhichrunner
carriesthemust-makeplays.
Thosecluescouldbebetter
thanthestatsinsideadraft
guide.
Stick with Proven
Players
Veteranswithsolidtrack
recordstendtooutperform
young,unprovenplayerswith
hype.ManyveteransecondtierTEswillscoreyoupoints.
Pick Your Defense
Last
Selectoneearlierandyou’re
wastingapick.Thepointsa
defensescorescanvary
wildlyeachgame,soyou’re
betteroffnabbinganewD
fromyourleague’swaivers
everycoupleofgamesbased
onweeklymatchups.Ignore
the“No.1”defense.Inrecent
years,thatsquadhasfailedto
finishontop.
Make Things
Interesting
Personalizeyourleagueby
institutinggoofyrulesand
punishments.Draftingwith
oldfriends?Everyteamhas
tobenamedafterahigh
schoolgirlfriend.Beer
buddies?Theleagueloser
buysthewinneracaseof
sudsoftheirchoosing.
Remember:Infantasy,
camaraderiecountsjustas
muchasfootball.
WIN AT THE GOKART TRACK
MakelikeKyleBuschand
leaveyourcompetitors
chasingyourtinytiretracks.
Sit Up Straight
Betterpostureinthekart
leadstogreaterturning
control.Situprightwithyour
armsslightlybent.Thiswill
helpyouapplyevenpressure
tothesteeringwheel,
decreasingyourriskofa
spinout.
Study the Course
Thetrackshouldhaveamap
showingthesuggested
“line”—thefastestpath
througheachturn—and
brakingpoints.Braking
pointsvarydependingon
yourweight,soexperiment
onyourfirstfewlaps.In
someturns,youmightbe
betteroffnotbrakingatall—
justliftoffthegasinstead.
Master the Turn
Brakeorliftyourfootoffthe
gasbeforetheturn.Stayon
theinsideofyourlane,
accelerateasyouexit,and
allowthekarttodrifttothe
outside.You’llcutseconds
offyourtime.
Aim for Speed, Not
Position
Mosttracksscoreeachrace
basedonfastestlaps,not
relativepositions.Ifthat’sthe
case,hangbacksoyouhavea
cleartracktoproducethebest
time,orstickbehindthe
fastestguysoyoucanfollow
hislineandstaymotivatedto
passhim.
Pass like a Pro
Stuckbehindsomeone?In
ordertopasshim,you’llneed
tocarrymorespeedthrough
thenextturnthanhedoes.
Brakeaslittleaspossible,
acceleratepasthimatthe
apex,andkeepthehammer
downallthewaythroughthe
exit.
CATCH FIRE AT
ARCADE HOOPS
TimLeglerisaformerNBA
playerandcurrentNBA
studioanalystatESPN.He’s
alsogotseriousarcade-hoops
game.HereLeglerbreaks
downhiscan’t-missstrategy.
1. Go In Close
Standwithyourthighs
pressedagainstthefrontof
themachine.You’llstabilize
yourstanceandposition
yourselfclosertothehoop,so
makingbasketswillbeeasier.
2. Double Up
Grababallineachhandand
shootthemoneatatime.By
usingbothhands,you
increaseyouroddsofscoring.
3. Be a Softy
Useaslightwristflickto
sendtheballtowardthehoop.
Thelighteryourtouch,the
loweryouroddsofchucking
abrick.
4. Don’t Bank It
Thebestwaytoscoreisby
swishingtheballorgiving
justenoughoomphtonudge
itoverthefrontoftherim.
Flimsybackboardswill
sometimesmisdirectbanked
shots.
PERFECT THE
RUNNING HOOK
1. Catchtheballonapass
andfaketothebaseline.
2. Spinbackanddribble
towardthemiddleofthe
paint.
3. Asyoucrossthepaint,
jumpup,andwhileyour
insidearmhelpsclear
space,makesureyou
keepitin(soasnotto
foul),andshootwithyour
outsidearm.
“Themanwho
complains
aboutthewaytheball
bouncesislikelythe
onewho
droppedit.”—Lou
Holtz
CRASH THE
FRONT ROW AT A
CONCERT
Leavethebinocularsathome.
Useyourbrains(andbeer!)to
workyourwaytothebest
viewofthebandwiththis
concertnavigationguidefrom
MattJordan,amusic
photographerandbloggerfor
youaintnopicasso.com.
1. Arrive for the
Opening Act
Thebesttimetoscorea
choicespotforaheadlineris
whentheopeningactisabout
towrap.Folkswillwantto
grababeer(orpasstheirlast
one)duringthebreak
betweenacts.Sobuyyour
beerwhentheband
announcesitslastsong;that
wayyou’llbebackwhenthe
crowdstartsleaving.
2. Work the Edges
Ifyouarrivelaterandtryto
blitzupthemiddle,you’llhit
ablockade.Crowdstendto
beweakesttowardthesides
ofthestageandbythewalls
(especiallyatindoor
concerts),soyou’llmake
fasterprogressbyworking
theperimeter.Onceyou’re10
rowsorsofromthefront,
startheadingdiagonally
towardthestage.
3. Make Friends
Closequarterscanmake
navigatingacrowdfraught
withflare-ups.Thebestway
toslidethroughtrouble
spots?Besociablewiththe
folksaroundyou.Strikeupa
conversationaboutthelast
timeyousawtheband,ortalk
aboutyourexperiencewith
thevenueorthispartoftown.
Shareyourexcitement.
4. Be Moses
Don’tunderestimatethefear
ofbeer.Youcanusethat
beverageyouboughttopart
thecrowd.(Peoplewillsee
thecupandmoveoutofthe
wayforfearofbeingspilled
on.)Keepyourbody
sideways,withtheshoulder
ofyourbeerhandpointed
towardthestage.Anddon’t
betouchy.That’sweird,
dude.
5. Go Easy on the
Photography
Ifyoutickoffyourfellow
fans,youcouldfindyourself
deadinthewater.Oneofthe
dumbestmovesconcert-goers
make:reachingupovertheir
headtotakesnapshots.Ifyou
reallywantaphotoofthe
band,justkeepyourcamera
atchestheightsoyoudon’t
hitanyoneinthehead.
WOW THE CROWD
AT KARAOKE
NIGHT
Singyourwaytoastanding
Owithcrooningtipsfrom
JoshScholl,2011Karaoke
WorldChampionshipUSA
winner.
Tune Your Pipes
Soyou’renoMichaelBublé.
Don’tletthatstopyou.The
crowdshouldbeabletohear
youabovethetrack.Sing
withgusto,butdon’troarinto
themike.Ifyourvoiceisbad,
admititandlaughitoff.The
crowdwilltoo.
Time It Right
Beforeyoupickasong,
surveythescene.Seehowthe
crowdrespondstoafewacts
andthenputyourrequestin
whentheroomhitsitssweet
spot:Peoplearerowdybut
stillwatchingthestage(i.e.,
notwasted).
Pick a Hit
Selectahigh-energytrack
youcanatleastsingthe
chorusto—orbetteryet,that
thecrowdcansingthechorus
to.Someideas:“Jump
Around,”byHouseofPain;
“Wannabe,”bytheSpice
Girls(singitfortheladies,of
course);or“Ignition
(Remix),”byR.Kelly.
Fire Up Your
Audience
Mostguysjuststandaround
untilthelyricshit.Usethat
timetoconnectwiththe
crowd.Bringthebanter:
“WhereareallmyJourney
fans?”Startaclap.Dedicate
thesongtoyourmom.(Yes,
evenifit’s“BabyGot
Back.”)Funnyisgood.Don’t
apologize—it’sinsecure.
Remember,it’sneverabout
thesong;it’saboutthe
performance.
Close Out with
Confidence
Bowsareboring.Toenda
song,drumtheairtothelast
fewbeats,placingheavy
emphasisonthelastone.If
it’sadramaticending,dropto
yourkneesandthrowyour
fistintheair.Whenyouleave
thestage,gositnexttothe
womanyoutooknoticeof
onstage.Orendwithajoke
like,“Shotsonthisguy!”and
pointtoyourbuddywhowas
toochickentosing.
CROWDPLEASING ROCK
MOVES
The Finger
Simplypointingtothecrowd
canfirepeopleup.During
grandmomentsinthesong,
likeakeychangeorthefirst
chorus,takeaknee,extend
yourarm,andpointyour
indexfinger,sweepingfrom
onesideofthebartothe
other;thenpopbackupon
bothfeet.
The Catwalk
Movefromoneendofthe
stagetotheother,struttinga
fewstepsandthenstopping.
Singwhileexecutingfist
pumps,snappingyour
fingers,orhoistingyourrock
hornstothebeat.Punctuate
withrockkicksatyour
discretion.
BOWL MORE
STRIKES
Clearthelanewiththesetips
fromChrisBarnes,former
ProfessionalBowlers
AssociationWorld
Champion.
Choose Your Rock
Yourfingersshouldfitsnugly
intotheholesbutnotso
snuglythatyoucan’textract
themeasily.Tofindaball
thatfitscomfortably,insert
yourthumbandstretchyour
fingersoverthetopofthe
ball.Yourknucklesshould
lineupwiththemiddleofthe
holes.Picktheheaviestball
youcanswingwhilestill
keepingyourshoulders
square.
See the Strike
Ifyou’reright-handed,place
yourrighthandbeneaththe
ballatthe6o’clockposition
anduseyourlefthandat8
o’clockforsupport.(Lefthanded?Use6and4
o’clock.)Startfourstepsback
fromthefoulline,plusan
addedhalfstepfortheslideat
theend.Usethelane’s
targetingarrowsasaguide.
Forthemosteffectiveangle,
straddlethefirstdottothe
rightorleftofcenterandaim
betweenthesecondandthird
arrowfromthegutter—that’s
thelane’ssweetspotfor
startingachainreactionof
tumblinglumber.
Load the Shot
Withyourelbowflush
againstyourbody,makea
rightanglewithyourforearm
andbiceps.Movetowardthe
foullineatabriskwalking
pace,yourkneesslightly
bent,leadingwithyour
dominanthandandfoot.As
youmoveforward,shiftyour
weighttoyourotherfootand
letyourotherhandfallaway
sotheballswingsfreely.Aim
withyourshoulder,letting
yourarmrelaxandswing
backtoshoulderheight.
Unleash the Fury
Astheballreachesthetopof
yourbackswing,slideinto
yourfinalstep.Swingtheball
forward,andasitpassesyour
ankle,turntheballsoyour
thumbpointsat10o’clock,
givingtherightamountof
spin.Formorespin,rotate
yourhandfrom12to10
o’clockwhenitcrossesyour
ankle.
SCORE BETTER
ON A TIMED TEST
Placeagreenappleonyour
deskanddabsomevanilla
extractontheinsideofyour
wrists.StudiesattheSmell
andTasteTreatmentand
ResearchFoundationin
Chicagohavefoundthatmen
weremorerelaxedand
performedbetterundertime
pressureaftersniffingthose
scents.
KILL THE BOGEY
MONSTER
Improveyourdriveand
you’lldramaticallyimprove
yourgame.Thekeyistokeep
thingssimple.Clearyour
mindandswingeasywith
drivingtipsfromMike
Bender,thedirectorofthe
MikeBenderGolfAcademy
atMagnoliaPlantationGolf
ClubinLakeMary,Florida.
Address
Feetarejustwiderthanyour
shoulders,leftarmaligns
withshaft,balllinesupwith
leftarmpit.
Takeaway
Keeptheclubheadlowasyou
firsttakeitback.Donot
“pickup”theclubquickly.
Turn
Atthetop,youshouldfeela
slighttilttotherightasyou
loadupbeforethe
downswing.
Transition
Armsaccelerateandweight
startstotransfer.Feelyour
feetpushingintotheground.
Impact
Nowripit—don’t“flip”your
hands.Theystayaheadofthe
clubheaduntilafterimpact.
Finish
Trytostickyourlanding,
weightonyourleftside,right
toepointed,nowobble.Nice
shot!
BEHAVE LIKE A
GOLF REGULAR
Evenifyoudon’tplaygolf
often,youcanappearto
knowwhatyou’redoing.
Know the rules.Youmust
teeyourballbehindthe
markers.Onthegreen,slide
themarkerbehindyourball
withouttouchingit.
Keep play moving.Ina
seriouscompetition,the
playerfarthestfromthehole
hitsfirst,butinaregular
round,ifyou’reready,hit.
Watch your step.Don’t
walkwhereanotherguy’s
puttwillbegoing.
Tipthecartgirl.Whoever
approachesthedrinkcartfirst
offerstobuyforeveryone—it
evensoutintheend.Mild
flirtingispermittedifyourtip
isgenerous.
SINK MORE 10FOOT PUTTS
Startdrainingshotsyou
shouldbemakingwiththis
advicefromZachJohnson,
PGAproand2007Masters
champion.
1. Practice Smarter
Foreveryballyoublastoff
thedriving-rangetee,setone
onthepracticegreenlater.
Nearlyhalfofyourstrokes
comefromyourputter,soif
youneglecttowarmupyour
shortgame,you’llhavea
poorersenseofthespeedofa
course’sgreens—andspeedis
akeytomasteringclutch
putts.
2. Develop Precision Control
Beforeyourgame,dropafew
ballmarkersonapractice
greenatdifferentdistances
fromthehole,andplacea
club2feetbehindthehole.
Hitthreeballstowardthe
holefromtheclosestmarker,
buttrynottohittheclub.
Movetothenextmarkeronly
whennoneoftheballshitthe
club.
3. Adjust Your Eyes
Nomatterhowstraightthe
shotis,aimingdirectlyforthe
cupismorelikelytocause
youtolosefocus.Instead,
visualizea“track”yousee
theballtakingtothehole,
accordingtoyourreadand
breaks.Forgreatestaccuracy,
lineupyourfeet90degrees
tothestartingpointofthat
track.
4. Ditch Your Doubt
Ateachhole,takethesame
amountoftimetosurveythe
green,andthesamenumber
ofpracticestrokes.Thentake
amomenttoclearyourhead.
You’redevelopinghabitsthat
cancarryastressedbrain
throughhigh-pressure
situations.Don’tthinkofthe
outcome(Ineedtomake
this!).Justputt.
SimplestWayto
ImproveYour
DriveinGolf
Loosenyourgrip.
Clubheadspeed,whichis
whatgeneratespower,is
unrelatedtoyourstrength,
soadeathgripisn’t
necessary.Infact,itcan
undermineyourdrive.
Manyproswilltellyou,
“Holdtheclubasifitwere
atubeoftoothpaste.”You
don’twantagobofCrest
onyournewgolfshoes,do
you?
3 TIPS FOR
CUTTING
STROKES
1. Sidehill downhill putt:
Placeyourfeetinthe
directionofyourline,not
towardthehole,and
followthrough.Putmore
weightonyourleading
foot.
2. Short chip from a
tight line:Don’tchoke
theclubandscoopthe
ball.Usesofthandsand
hittheballwithasquare
face.Thiskeepstheball
low—thesafestbet.
3. Drive into the wind:
Don’thittheballhard;
that’llcreatespin,
allowingthewindto
catchit.Instead,teethe
balllowerthanusualand
backinyourstance.
You’llproducealow,
straightshot.
WIN AT PICKUP
BASKETBALL
AccordingtoformerOregon
StateUniversitybasketball
coachCraigRobinson,author
ofAGameofCharacter(and
MichelleObama’sbrother)..
.
Play Low-Scoring
Games
Robinsonprefersplayingto
sevenbaskets.“Eachpointis
moremeaningful,”hesays.
“Whenyouplayto32,it’s
easyforthegametobea
blowout,andthenyou’renot
working.”
Make It, Take It
Ifit’sahalf-courtgame,the
scoringteamshouldstartwith
theball.It’llforceyoutoplay
gooddefense(something
guysoftengolaxon),which
practicallydoublesyour
workout.
Play All Positions
Cuthardandruntospotsyou
normallywouldn’t:Bigguys
shouldgooutside,andsmall
guystothekey.Evenif
you’renotaseffectivethere,
itmakesyoulesspredictable
todefend.
Run to the Foul
Line
Don’thangbackwhenthe
otherteamisonafastbreak.
Yourgoal:Oneveryplay,run
atleasttotheotherend’sfoul
line.You’llbuild
conditioningsoyoucanrun
thecourt.
SCORE A SPOT
ON A GAME SHOW
Earnachancetowinitall
withthesebehind-the-set
secretsfromMikeRichards,
executiveproducerofThe
PriceIsRightandLet’sMake
aDeal.
Stand Out in the
Crowd
Snaggingaspotisn’tas
simpleasjustshowingup—
it’saninterviewprocess.
First,reserveyourtickets
onlineupto60daysahead.
Ontapingday,lineupoutside
thestudioatleastafewhours
before.That’swhenyou’re
likelytoscorea30-second
interviewwiththeproducer.
Look the Part
Watcholdepisodestosee
howthosecontestants
dressed.Nowgiveityour
ownpersonaltouch.Referto
theshowwithreverenceorbe
unique(blackclothes,big
magnet,tinytoychicksfor
Let’sMakeaDeal).Andno
overtsexjokes,okay?
Go Nuts—but Not
Too Nuts
Duringtheinterview,pump
upyourenergybyathird.
Youwanttoshowpassion,
notcraziness.Speakloudly
andclearly,begracious,and
dropinalineabouthow
excitedyouaretowinprizes.
Stay Pumped
Madethecut?Great!Butas
youfileintothestudio,don’t
falloutofcharacter—the
producersarewatchingyou
heretoo.Hammingitup
duringtheinterviewandthen
wipingthesmileoffyourface
demonstratesthatyou’rejust
puttingonashowofyour
own.
RULE THE
SHUFFLEBOARD
TABLE
Ruletheshuffleboardtable
withthesestrategiesfrompro
playerDaveShewbridge,
presidentoftheTable
ShuffleboardAssociation.
Take a Strong
Stance
Theweightwilltravelinthe
directionyou’refacing.Stand
withyourdominanthandand
footinfrontandyourleadhip
turnedinwardtowardthe
board.Restyourotherhand
ontheouterrailofthetable’s
frameforbalance.Useyour
armandwristtopush(not
toss)theweight.
Devise a Game
Plan
Trytoscoretwopoints.One
pointisn’triskyenough,and
threemakesyoueasyprey.
Work an Open
Board
Usespintoslowtheweight
toastop.Makethethumbsupsignwithyourshooting
hand,keepingyourfingers
loose.Placeyourthumbin
thecenteroftheweight,
allowingyourbottomtwo
knucklestorestontheboard.
Thenpushtheweight
forward.
Respond to a
Score
Blastaway!Griptheweight
withyourthumboverits
centerandyourindexfinger
supportingitfromtheside.In
oneswiftmotion,extendyour
armandopenyourhandto
firetheshottowardthesitting
weight.
EXECUTE A
PERFECT 10 FLIP
DIVE
Makeasplashatyournext
poolpartywithaforward1½
tuckdive.
Approach the
Board
Mostdiverseithertakeoff
runningorstartwiththeir
toesgrippingtheedgeofthe
board.Don’tdoeither.
Instead,walkdowntheboard
untilyou’reafootfromthe
end.Jumpandlandaninch
fromtheedge.That’swhere
theboardhasthemostspring,
whichwillhelpwithtakeoff.
Jump with
Leverage
Don’tdouble-bounce—you
couldlosecontrol.Togain
momentumandmaintain
balance,startbysquatting
untilyourkneesarebent45
degrees.Then,inonesmooth,
quickmotion,jumpand
swingyourarmsupoveryour
shoulders.Aimtojumpabout
3feetoutwardandupward.
Spin with Precision
Abouthalfwaybeforethe
peakofyourjump,tuckyour
legsintoasomersault
position,reachingforyour
shins.You’llrotatenaturally
inthetuckedposition.Keep
yourheadandneckaligned
straight,lookingoveryour
kneestoseethewater;don’t
tuckyourchinoryourisk
overspinning.
Don’t Make Waves
Forasmoothentry,straighten
yourlegsandextendyour
armsaboveyourheadto
finishinaflawlessdive.
Comeupforairandwinkat
thatbikini-cladspectator.
HELP YOUR KID
WIN THE SCIENCE
FAIR
BillNyetheScienceGuy
tellsyouhowtoassistyour
sonordaughterinwowing
thejudgesandlandingthe
blueribbon.
Guide Inspiration
Fourth-gradersdon’thaveto
experimentwithyellow-cake
uranium.Askyourkidto
lookaroundthekitchenwith
aquestioningeye:Whyis
sodabubbly?Whydosome
bottleshavecapsandothers
corks?Comparingitems
showsthetypeofcritical
thinkingthatjudgesvalue,so
trytogobeyondsimple
observation.
Step Back
Onceyourchildhassettled
onasubject,it’stimeforyou
tobackoff.Judgescantell
whenanadulthasinterfered
toomuch;besides,thechild
willlearnmorebytakingthe
reins.Requestasimple
assignmentinstead.Say
you’llbethe“assistant”toset
thetone.Askquestions
insteadofprovidingexplicit
instructions.
Follow the Method
Judgeswilllooktoseeifthe
studentstayedwiththe
scientificmethod.
(Hypothesis,experimentation,
refinetheidea,
experimentation,final
statement...remember?)If
yourchildbecomesupset
becausetheexperimentisn’t
playingoutperfectly,justsay
it’spartoftheprocess.After
all,that’showscienceworks.
Present with Style
Solidsciencebeatsaloud,
flashydisplayeverytime.
Keepthepresentationtoa
trifold,goingeasyonthe
neonandglitter.Andresist
theurgetoedit:Youcan
pointoutglaringerrorsinthe
report,butdon’tsweatthe
occasionalstraycommaor
sloppyletter.Thisisonetime
whentoomuchperfection
canthwartsuccess.
ThreeA+Science
FairIdeas
1. Testdifferent
dishwashingsoapson
greasyplatestosee
whichonescleanbest.
Aremanufacturers’
claimscorrect?
2. Puttealeavesinacup
withwater,andstir.
Theleavesaren’t
throwntotheoutside
asyou’dimagine,but
movetothemiddle.
Howcome?Compare
withotherthingslike
peppercornsor
sunflowerseeds.
3. Testhowtexting
affectscriticalthinking.
Askyourchildtosolve
problemswhiletexting
andnottextingand
notetheelapsedtimes.
Thenhavehimorher
replicatethe
experimentwithother
people.Whyarethe
resultsthewaythey
are?
PICK STOCKS
THAT SOAR
Thesecrettochoosinga
wealth-buildinginvestmentis
toreadthemarketanddoa
bitofessentialhomework,
accordingtoDamien
Hoffman,theeditor-in-chief
ofWallSt.CheatSheet.
Target Up-andComing Products
Somegrowthisproductdriven.Pickcompaniesthat
havepromisingmerchandise
andbiglaunchesinthe
pipeline.Anticipatedreleases
fromApple,forinstance,add
toitsbalancesheet,bottom
line,andincomestatement,
makingitahotstock.Read
blogsthattrackbusinesses
you’reinterestedinand
watchfirms’investorrelationscentersforproducts
indevelopment.
Anticipate Scandal
Theeasiestwaytoavoid
bustedbusinessschemesisto
makesureA-level
managementisrunningthe
show.ChecktheWebforthe
CEO’strackrecord—notjust
athisorhercurrentcompany
butalsowithpreviousfirms.
Makesurethecompany
hasn’thadinquiriesfromthe
SecuritiesandExchange
Commissioninthepast10
years.Anysuchscrutiny
shouldraisearedflag;forthe
safestbet,selectacompany
withzeroinquiriesonfile.
Denounce Debt
Lookforcompaniesthatare
relativelyunburdenedby
largedebtloads,whichcould
hampertheiroperations.Ina
sloweconomy,they’llmore
easilythrivethanoperations
thathavetocutbiginterest
checksforthebankers.The
goodnews?Thatinformation
ispublic.Visitsiteslike
YahooFinancetochecka
company’sstockquotepage
andseehowmuch(orlittle)
debtit’sholding.Lessdebt?
Betterbet.
Be Tough on
Overall
Performance
Thesimplestwaytoverify
thatacompanyistechnically
soundisbylookingatits
stockchart.Jaggedshark
teeth,flatlines,orlong
descenders?Notgood.You
wantastable,boring,
ascendinglinefrompastto
present.Itdoesn’thavetobe
adrastic“hockeystick”
formation—someofthebest
companiesaresteadyand
slowgrowing.Lookatthe
pastyear’sstockperformance
foranideaofthecurrent
trend.
CONQUER A
MOUNTAIN
Climbthetoughestof
mountainbiketrailswith
thesetipsfromToddWells,
Olympicmountainbiker:
•
Setyourtirepressureto
30psi,whichgivesyour
tiresflexibilitytogripthe
trail.
•
Forastrongerclimb,
pedalatthesameratethe
wholetime,savingafew
lowgearsjustincase.
Don’tstand;you’lllose
reartiretraction.
•
Poweroverobstacles.As
youapproachrocksor
logs,centeryourweight
overthereartire.Lean
slightlyoverthe
handlebarsoyourfront
enddoesn’tlift.Raisethe
barjustenoughtoinitiate
aclimbovertheobstacle.
Avoidbunnyhops.
•
Controlyourdescentby
featheringthefrontbrake
withsmallpumps.Keep
yourfeetlevelsoyour
weightstaystransferable.
YourCave
Su Casa is More
Than a Roof Over
Your Head. It’s a
365-Day-a-Year
Work in Progress.
So Here are Some
Upgrades and Fun
Ways to Make Your
Home Reflect Your
Style.
Manymoonsago,whenour
homesweremadeofsticks
andbarkandinterestrates
werereally,reallylow,aman
didn’thavetoworrymuch
aboutdomesticupkeep.Ifthe
roofleaked,hethrewon
anotherhide.Iftheherd
movedtogreenerpastures,he
simplylefthomeAstanding
andbuilthomeBwithnew
sticksandbark.RE/MAXhad
yettobeinvented.
Today,homesteadingisfar
morecomplicated,evenif
yourentaone-bedroom
apartment.Somuchcango
wronginyourquestfor
comfortandstyle.Andnow
withHGTV,Houzz,and
Zillow,youcan’tescape
imagesofhandier-than-thou
handymenandpalacesthat
shameyourhumbleabodein
size,openconcept,anda
greatoutdoorlivingspace.
UncommonKnowledgeis
whatyouneed.Andaheavydutyreciprocatingsaw.
BREAK INTO
YOUR OWN HOME
Slam!Click.Ohhh,crap.
Whenyou’relockedoutof
thehouse,eternalshameisn’t
theonlyreasontobypassthe
locksmith.TheFederalTrade
Commissionwarnsthatsome
locksmithslackprofessional
training,andmanystates
don’trequireformal
licensing.Andevenwiththe
creds,aninexperienced
operatormaychoosebrute
forceoverfinesseandinsist
ondrillingyourlockout.So
first,trythis:Makeakey
withhelpfrommasterlock
pickerEricMichaud.You
couldbebackinsidein5
seconds.
1.Luckyyou!You’ve
alreadystashedtwobobby
pinsinasecretplacenearthe
door.(Ifnot,asktheneighbor
ladyforsome.)Convertthese
intotwolock-pickingtools—
atorquetoolandapick.To
makethetorque,scrapethe
roundededgesoffthefirstpin
andbenditintoasmootherU
shape.Bendthetips90
degrees[A].
2.Turnthetorquetool
paralleltotheground(round
endpointedawayfromthe
latch)andinserttheprongs
intothelock.Keeppressure
onthetorqueinthedirection
youwantittoturn.(Lockson
theleftsideofadooropen
clockwise;locksontheright
gocounterclockwise.)Leave
thetorqueinthisposition.
There’sanothertooltomake.
3.Timetocreateyourpick:
Openthesecondpin,scrape
theroundededgeoffthetip
ofthestraighterside,and
bendthesametipupjust
slightlysoitresemblesavery
shallowcurvedfishhook[B].
Insertthehookendintothe
keyhole;thenpullthepickup
towardthetopofthe
chamber.Ifanyonepasses,
justsay“It’scool!Ilive
here!”Ifacopstops,drop
yourpickandraiseyour
hands.
4.Keeplightpressureonthe
torquewithonehand;usethe
othertopushthepickdeeper
intothekeyhole.Inside,five
tosixsmalllockingpinsline
theroofofthetunnel.Each
needstobeshiftedupwardto
catchahigherrung,
mimickingwhathappensasa
keyslidesin.Usethehook’s
edgetoliftthepinwiththe
mostresistancefirst.
5.Aseachlockingpinmoves
up,thelockwillloosen,
turningslightlyinthe
directionitshouldopen,and
anotherpinwillbecome
resistant.Bounceupthelast
one,andyou’llfeelthetorque
toolturntowardthedirection
you’vebeenkeepingpressure
in,springingopenthelock.
Restashthetoolsbefore
entering,justincase.
LOCATE A STUD
WITHOUT A STUD
FINDER
Turnonanelectricshaver
andrunitsbaseacrossthe
wall.Thepitchwilldipwhen
youpassoverastud.
BUILD A STURDY
WORKBENCH
Here’saprojectforallyour
projects.Thisonewillcost
youabout$125inmaterials
andyou’llhavenothingleft
over,saysDanFaires,hostof
HGTV.com’sDanmade.
WHATYOU’LLNEED
Circular saw; 1 sheet of finished
plywood (¾" × 4' × 8'); two 2 × 4
studs (each 10' long); four 2 × 4
studs (each 8' long); 1 box of 2½"
screws (1 lb); 4 clamps; wood
glue; level
1. Carve ’Em Up
Cuttheplywooddownits
lengthinto24-inchby8-foot
and18-inchby8-footpieces.
Savetheleftover6-inch
piece.Cutoneofthe10-foot
2×4sintothree32-inch
piecesandone21-inchpiece.
Cuttheotherintoone32-inch
piece,two21-inchpieces,
andthree15-inchpieces.Sort
themallintolike-sizepiles.
2. How to Take It to
the Top
Setthe21-inchcrossbraces
betweentwoofthe8-foot2×
4s(oneoneachendandone
inthecenter).Screwthe
piecestogether,creatinga
rectanglethesamesizeasthe
24-inchby8-footplywood.
Gluethetopoftheframe,put
theplywoodontop,and
securewithscrews.
3. Add Storage
Tomakeashelf,repeatthe
frame-makingstepforthe
tabletopusingtheothertwo
8-foot2×4sandthe15-inch
crossbraces.Applyglueto
thetopsurfaceoftheframe,
andthenplacethe18-inchby
18-inchplywoodpieceontop
andscrewittotheframe.Set
theshelfaside.
4. Give It Legs
Flipthetabletopoversothe
plywoodsidefacesdown.
Positiona32-inchlegina
cornersothatthewiderside
ofthe2×4facesthelong
sideoftheframe.Holdthe
legtightlyagainstthecorner
andsecureittotheframe
withonescrew.Repeatwith
theotherthree32-inchlegs.
5. Install the Shelf
Turnthetableoverandslide
theshelfbetweenthelegs.
Usingpiecesofscrapwood,
propuptheshelftoyour
desiredheight.Clampthe
cornersofeachlegandmake
suretheshelfislevel.Secure
eachlegtothetabletopframe
withtwomorescrews.
Removetheclamps.
6. Finish It!
Glue,clamp,andscrewthe6inchby8-footplywoodpiece
tothebackofthetabletopat
yourdesiredheight.Now
you’rereadytowork.
Customizeinanyofthese
ways:Runarouteroverthe
edges,puttythescrewholes,
sand,lacquer,primeand
paint,installlockingcasters,
oraddavise.
FIX A LEAKY
SHOWERHEAD
Wrapthefixture’snutin
electricaltapeforprotection,
thenunscrewitwitha
wrench.Popoutthegasket
withascrewdriver,cleanout
anybuildupinthepipe,and
dropinanewgasket.Wrap
thethreadsinTeflontapeand
reinstalltheshowerhead.
Rule #1
Circular saws are like big
dogs: If you treat them right,
you needn’t really fear them,
but you should never forget
what they are capable of.
TUNE A MUFFLED
MOWER
“Beforeyoudoanything,
removethesparkplugsothe
mowerdoesn’taccidentally
fireupwhileyou’reworking
onit,”saysTomShotzbarger,
thepresidentoftheLawn
CareAssociationof
Pennsylvania.Followhis
tune-updrilltomakeyour
mowerstartfasterandrun
smoother.
1) Empty the fuel
tank.
Gasolinedegradesasitages,
sodrainanyfuelleftover
fromthepastseason.Replace
theoil,too—microscopic
contaminantscanbuildupin
theoil,reducingitsviscosity
andgrindingagainstthe
engine’sparts.
2) Lose the grime.
Useadegreaserontheengine
housingtoremovegrime,
whichcancontaminatethe
filters,fuel,andoil.Extreme
SimpleGreenMotorsports
Cleaner&Degreaser
(simplegreen.com)isanecofriendlyoption.
3) Let it breathe.
Installanewairfilter.“The
engineneedscleanairflowto
burnfuelmostefficiently,”
saysShotzbarger.Changethe
sparkplug,too.Itcanrustor
weardown,alsocausingthe
enginetoruninefficiently.
4) Clear the deck.
Pryanycaked-ongrassfrom
theundersideofthedeck
usingaputtyknife.“Ifthere’s
toomuchstuckonthere,it
willinterferewiththe
cutting,”saysShotzbarger.
5) Give it an edge.
Ifthebladeisbentordinged,
buyareplacementfor$15to
$20atahardwarestore.Ifit’s
justdull,takeittoalawnand
gardencentertohaveit
sharpened.You’llpayabout
halfthepriceofanewone.
SPLIT A LOG IN
ONE BLOW
“Thisisn’taboutbruteforce;
thecorrectbladeangleadds
allthepoweryouneed.Step
anaxhandle’slengthaway
andswingtheaxsotheblade
headcomesdowninlinewith
thegrain.Justpriortoimpact,
letyourwristscollapselike
you’rehammeringabignail.
You’llhitperfectly
perpendiculartothe
wood.”—ARDENCOGARJR.,
third-generationlumberjack
andfour-timeStihl
Timbersportschampion
Rule #2
Cut mowing time in half. A 36inch walk-behind mower does
the job in half the time of an
18-incher. If you have 2 acres,
get a rider with a deck that is
42 to 48 inches wide.
HANDLE A CHAIN
SAW
Cutwood,notyour
appendages.Curtis
Ingvoldstad,achampion
chainsawartist,breaksit
down.
Fight Your
Testosterone
Inthetoolaisle,lookfor
balance,nothorsepower.For
smallerbranches,a30ccsaw
witha12-inchbar(the
cuttingpart)isfine.For
thickerlimbs(10to16inches
indiameter),buya40to50
ccmodelwitha16-to18inchbar.
Suit Up
Putonsafetychaps,hearing
protection,steel-toedboots
(chainsawwhiplashcould
sliceyourtoes),andsafety
glasses.They’llkeepyouout
oftheER.
Stand Sturdy
Standwithyourfeetshoulder
widthapartandbendyour
knees.Next,moveyourtorso
behindandinlinewiththe
bar.Angleyourheadaway
fromthechainandoperate
thesawbelowyourwaistor
youruntheriskofserious
injury.
Guide, Don’t
Gouge
Whilecutting,keepboth
handsonthesawandleadit
withyourfronthip,directing
thebottomthirdofthechain
throughthewood.Ifyoucut
withthetip,yourisk
kickback.Don’tpushwith
yourarms—thebladewilldo
thework.
AMPUTATE A LIMB
Removeproblembranches
right.
Time Your Cut
Pruneduringthedormant
season,whenthetreeisn’t
leafyorflowering;formost
trees,that’swinterorvery
earlyspring.Thatwayyou
limitthetree’sexposureto
sap-hungry,disease-carrying
insects.
Find Your Entry
Point
Looktoremovebranchesthat
intersectinaV(asopposed
toaU);theseintersections
aremorelikelytofailin
snowyorwindyconditions.
Cutthebranchhalfaninch
fromwhereitconnectstothe
trunkoranotherbranch.
Lop in Stages
Asturdyhandsawisyourbest
betforlimbcutting.Sawthe
branchoffinsectionstokeep
itfromtearingawayatthe
joint,unnecessarilyexposing
moreofthetree’sflesh.
Let It Bleed
Unlessthetreeisanoakor
elmthat’swoundedduringa
criticaltimeofyear,don’tdo
anythingtotheexposed
wound.Applyingsynthetic
paint,acommonwound
dressing,couldinterferewith
thehealingprocess.
Rule #3
Wear gloves when using
brush tools like rakes,
clippers, and shovels, even
when you haven’t touched
them since last summer.
Urushiol oil from poison ivy,
oak, and sumac can stay
active on tools and clothes for
up to 5 years. It takes just 1
nanogram (billionth of a gram)
to cause a rash.
STACK A ROCKSOLID WOODPILE
Seasonwood,savemoney,
andavoidamidwinter
collapse.
Step 1: Choose
Your Trees
Buymixedhardwoods,like
maple,birch,andoak.(Finda
dealeratfirewood.com.)
Whenhardwoodslikethese
areseasonedproperly,they
yieldmoreheatbecausethe
drywoodburnsmore
efficientlythandampwood.
Step 2: Keep It Dry
Waterisfirewood’sgreatest
enemy.Selectaspotonstone
orconcretesothewood
won’tdrawmoisturefromthe
ground.Then,formaximum
dryness,pickupsome
woodenpalletsfromalumber
dealerorhardwarestoreto
linethelengthofthepileand
serveasabase.Don’thavea
shelteredspotforyourpile?
Protectthewoodwithatarp,
stakeddownafewfeetfrom
thewoodpiletoallowairto
circulate.
Step 3: Create Your
Supports
Makeendpillarsbystacking
layersofwoodinalternating
three-piecerows—likea
Jengatower—about4feet
high.Thewoodwithinthe
towerwillbeabletobreathe,
preventingdryrot,and
alternatingthelayerscreatesa
strongsupportstructure.For
stablecolumns,makesure
eachpieceisroughlythe
sameheightandshape.Leave
afewinchesofspace
betweenpieces.
Step 4: Fill the Gap
Pileyourremainingfirewood
betweenthesupportpillars.
Forgetaboutmakingneat
rows:Randomstackingis
morelikelytofillincracks
andgaps,makingforamore
stablewoodpile.
DODGE DIY
DISASTER
Paintingawallorlayingtile
canbeariskyproposition.
Youcan’tjusthit“undo”if
youdon’tlikethewayitturns
out.Sobeforeyoustart,make
ahalfdozenphotocopiesof
thetilepatternorpaintcolor
andtapethemtothewall;this
willgiveyouafeelforthe
endresult.
Bonus:Thecopiescanalso
helpyoufigureoutthebest
patternsfortilework.
Rule #4
Let your grass grow. Taller
grass (over 2½ inches) grows
more slowly and maintains its
health better (and keeps
weeds down).
CRAFT YOUR OWN
KEGERATOR
Somewhereinsideevery
fridgeliesakegjustwaiting
tobetapped.Whatifyou
couldcombinethebestofthe
bar(beerontap)withthebest
ofhome(nolineatthe
bathroom)?You’dbea
genius.Allright,genius,
here’stheplan.
WHATYOU’LLNEED
One old (but operational) singledoor refrigerator
1"-diameter wall spacer
5" beer shank
Stainless-steel faucet head
CO2 regulator
5-lb CO2 tank
Keg coupler
5 feet of 3⁄16" beer line and
connectors
4 feet of ¼" air tubing with
clamps
Drip tray
Assorted tools
Ifyourtownhasn’tseena
homebrewerysupplystore
sinceProhibition,youcan
stillordereverythingyou
needfromkegerator.comor
Beveragefactory.com.
HOWTOBUILDIT
Youcandownloadfarmore
detailedinstructionsfor
convertinganoldfridgeinto
abeerkegtap,buttheseare
thegeneralstepsfor
motivation.
1. Unplug
2. Insertthewallspacerand
cuttofitwithahacksaw.
3. Removethenutfromthe
shankandslideitintothe
hole.Screwthenutback
onandtighten.Screwthe
faucetontotheotherend.
4. Cutascrapofplywoodto
thedimensionsofthe
fridgeflooranddropit
intoplace.
5. ScrewtheCO2regulator
ontotheCO2tankand
placeitinthecornerof
thefridge.
6. Jointhekegcouplerand
theshankwiththebeer
line,andtheregulatorand
thekegcouplerwiththe
airline.Secureeverything
withhoseclamps.
7. Installthedriptray10
inchesbelowthefaucet.
8. Pluginthefridge.
9. Introducekegtofridge
andthentapthesucker.
Loosentheregulator
screwandopentheCO2
tank.Setthepressureto
about12psi.Checkfor
leaks.
10. Askyourselfwhatyou’ll
haveandthendrawapint.
Rule #5
Wash mousetraps well
between exterminations,
because a mouse’s nose is
sensitive enough to detect the
odor of a departed cousin. For
a better mousetrap, bait it with
after-dinner mints; the scent is
a strong lure. Peanut butter
works better than cheese, too.
KEEP PAINT FROM
DRIPPING ON
YOUR FLOOR
Rollapieceofmaskingtape
tomakeitdouble-sidedsticky
andstickittothemiddleofa
paperplate.Nowplaceyour
paintcanontopofthetape.
Thepaperplatewillstickto
thebottomofyourpaintcan
evenifyoumoveit,andit
willcatchallthedrips.And
nowyouhaveahandyplace
torestyourbrush.
FIND THAT SMALL
WIDGET YOU
DROPPED
Screws,contactlenses,
fingernailsthatflewoffthe
clippers—theyhitthefloor
andseemtodisappear.So
makethembigger:Turnona
flashlightandlayitonthe
floor.Smallobjectscastbig
shadows.
Rule #6
Measure twice, cut once.
REPAINT A ROOM
IN RECORD TIME
1. Pick Your Paint
Buyahigh-quality,premium
paintforthebest,mosteven
finish.WelikeOlympic
PremiumInteriorPaint
(olympic.com).Andforfaster
coverage,useaprimerthat’s
beentintedtothepaint’s
color.
2. Prep the Room
Afterclearingoutasmuchas
youcanfromtheroom,move
everythingelsetothecenter
andcoverthepilewithold
sheets.Thenremoveany
grimeonthewallsbywiping
themdownwithawetdish
towelorpainter’scloth,
neitherofwhichwillleave
lintbehind.Asthewallsdry,
applypainter’stapetothe
edgesofbaseboardsandtrim,
pressingthetapewitha5-in1toolorcreditcardtosealits
edges.
3. Set Up a Paint
Station
Theidealspotisinfrontofa
window,whereyouwon’t
spendmuchtimepainting.
Don’tputpaintcansnearthe
centeroftheroom—that’s
whereyou’remostlikelyto
backintothem.
4. Brandish the
Brush and Rollers
Throwatarponthefloor,put
onpainters’gloves,andstart
applyingprimertothetrim
witha3-inchacrylicbrush.
Keepasteadyhand:Holdthe
brushnearthebristles(noton
thehandle)withyourthumb
ononesideandfingersonthe
other.Brushata45-degree
anglesothebristlessplay
evenly.Thenusearollerto
paintthewallsinanMorW
pattern;thisdistributespaint
better.Lettheprimerdry,and
applypaint.
5. Peel Back the
Tape
Whenthelastcoatisalmost
dry,gentlyremovethetapeat
a45-degreeangle.Ifyoudo
pulloffsomepaint,usea1inchbrushtotouchupthe
spot.Showyourwife;earn
points.
REPLACE A
BUSTED DOOR
Replaceadatedorbusted
interiordoorwiththisstepby-stepguidefromJames
Carey,cohostofthehomeimprovementradioshowOn
theHouse.
WHAT YOU’LL NEEDA
preboreddoor(thathasthe
samedimensionsastheold
one),nailpunch,hammer,
pliers,towel,screwdriver,
tapemeasure,pencil,utility
knife,chisel,drill,and
sawhorsesoraworkbench.
1. Remove the
Hinge Pins
Closetheolddoorandplace
thetipofanailpunchonthe
undersideofthebottomhinge
pin.Tapthepunchwitha
hammeruntilthepinis
almostoutofthehinge
knuckles.Pullitoutwith
pliersandsetitonatowel.
Repeatwiththeremaining
hinges,tophingelast.
2. Ditch the Door
Holdthedoorknobwithone
handandsteadythedoorwith
yourother.Jigglethedoor
andpullittowardyou;once
it’sloose,restitagainsta
wall.Unscrewthelockset
andmeasurefromthebottom
ofthedoortothebottomof
eachhinge.Jotdownthe
numbers—you’llneedthem
later.
3. Mark the Spots
Restthenewdooron
sawhorsesoraworkbench.
You’llinstallthehingeson
thesideoppositetheprebored
holeforthedoorhandle.
Pencilthosehinge
measurementsonthisside.
4. Carve Some
Space
Unscrewtheolddoor’shinge
plates.Alignthebottomofa
platewithoneofthepencil
marks,penciltheplate’s
outline,andscorethisoutline
withautilityknifethreetimes
tobreakupthewoodfibers.
Useahammerandchiselto
carefullygougetheoutlineso
theplatewillbeflushwith
thedoor.Settheplateinyour
gouged-outspotandmarkthe
screwholes.Thentapthenail
punchoneachmarktomake
adivotsothedrillbitwon’t
skip.Repeatthesestepsfor
theotherhingeplates.
5. Install the
Hardware
Drillpilotholesusingadrill
bitthat’ssmallerthanthe
screws.Then,withtheplate
inplace,driveinthescrews;
repeatwiththeotherhinges.
Nowaskahelpertoholdthe
doorinplaceasyoualignthe
hingeknuckles.Slideapin
intothetophingeandtapit
withahammeruntilit’s
secure.Repeatwiththe
remaininghinges.Holdthe
latchfaceplatetothelatch
holeandtracetheoutline
usingapencilandthena
utilityknife.Gougeoutthe
areasotheplatesitsflush.
Insertthelatchsetthrough
thelatchhole.Markthe
screwlocations,drillpilot
holes,anddriveinthescrews.
Slidetheexteriordoorknob
intoplace.Markholesforthe
screws,drillpilotholes,and
driveinthescrews.Repeat
withtheinteriordoorknob.
LetNatureClean
YourBBQ
Holdtheelbowgrease.
Removeyourgratesfrom
thegrillandplacethem
top-downonan
inconspicuouspatchof
lawntositoutonaclear
night.Overnight,thedew
willloosenthecrud,
makingiteasiertowipeoff
usingpapertowels.
GET A SLUG
DRUNK
Ifslugsandsnailsare
chowingdownonyour
garden,buy’emabeer.
(Makeitcheapstuff;no
uppitycraftbrew.)Burya
fewemptyjarsorusedbeer
canssotheirtopsareflush
withthesoilinyour
vegetablegarden.Nowfill
themwithbeer.See,likeyou,
slugsfindsomeofthe
compoundscreatedduring
beerfermentationpretty
great.Andwhentheygoin
forasip,they’llslipand
drown.
SKEETER
BEATERS
Bitinginsectscanbea
barbecuebuzzkill.Joseph
Conlon,technicaladvisorto
theAmericanMosquito
ControlAssociation,and
DanielKline,PhD,aresearch
entomologistwiththeUSDA,
offersomeplanet-friendly
tacticstowardoffpests.
1. Stage a Drought
Evenabottlecapfilledwith
watercanbeamosquito
breedingspot.Wipedown
tablesandyourgrillaftera
rain,andkeepaneyeoutfor
stagnantwaterinrandom
places—thattarponthe
woodpile,aplantertray,a
cuporbottleleftoutside.For
yourtrashcanandrecycling
bin,useadrillwitha¼-inch
bittoadddrainageholesin
thebottom.
2. Smoke Out
Trouble
Mosquitoeshatecitronella,
butmostcandlescan’tprotect
pasta5-footradius.Scented
torchesarebetterbecause
theygiveoffmoresmoke,
anotherpestpeeve,forafew
morefeetofcoverage.Ifyou
justcan’tstandthesmell,
thengowithaportable
Thermacelloutdoorlantern
(thermacell.com).Itreleases
allethrin,anodor-freebug
blocker.
3. Blow ’Em Away!
Manypestsareweakfliers,
sopointafloorfantoward
theareawhereyourguests
willgathertocreateturbulent
airspace.
GRILL YOUR
SALSA!
Charanonion,ajalapeño,
andtwolargetomatoesonall
sidesoverdirectheat,about
10minutes.Removethe
vegetablestoaplatetocool.
Peel,seed,anddice.Mixwith
cilantro,limejuice,garlic,
andsalttotaste.
SILENCE A FLOOR
SQUEAK
Sprinkletalcumpowderor
footpowderbetweenthe
floorboardsandworkitinto
thecrackswithaclothor
brush.Squeakshappenwhen
boardsrubagainstone
anotheroragainstanail.The
powderwillhelplubricate
andsilencethoseboards.
(Youmightneedtodothisa
fewtimes.)
SHOVEL SNOW
WITHOUT KILLING
YOUR BACK
Testashovelinthestoreby
holdingitasyouwouldifyou
werepushingsnow.Note
wherethehandlerests—it
shouldbenearyourbelt
buckle.Ifitrestsabovethat,
you’llworkharder;ifit’s
below,you’llhunchmore.
Takeaminutebefore
headingoutsidetostretch
yourlowerbackand
hamstrings.(Afewjumping
jacksaren’tabadidea,
either.)Besuretodress
appropriatelyfortheweather.
Ifyoucan,pushthesnow
insteadofshovelingit.Your
armsandlegs,notyourback,
willdothework.Ifthesnow
istoodeeporheavytopush,
thinkwallsquat:Setyourfeet
shoulderwidthapart,keep
yourlowerbackandcoreset,
andliftwithyourlegsand
butt.
FIX A DRYWALL
CEILING
Withyourveryown,make
anotherpairofhands—a
deadmanbrace.
Hangingdrywallistypically
atwo-personjob,especially
wheninstallingpanelson
ceilings.Butyoucaninstall
ceilingdrywallyourself(or
easilywithanotherperson)if
youuseabrilliantdevice
calledadeadmanbrace.A
deadmanisnothingmore
thanaT-shapedbracemade
fromscrap2×4sandawall
stud;useittoholdadrywall
panelagainsttheceiling
whileyoufastenthesheetto
thejoists.Here’showto
makeone:
WHAT YOU’LL NEED
Scrap2×4-inchlumber;wall
stud;measuringtape;saw;
nailsorwoodscrews;
hammerordrillwith
screwdriverbit
Step 1.Cuttwo36-inch
piecesfromthe2×4s.These
willbethetopandbottom
crossbraces.Nailorscrew
themiddleofthesebrace
piecestotheendsofthestud.
Useameasuringtapeto
ensurethatthewholebraceis
1inchshorterthanthe
distancefromthefloorto
ceilingtoallowforthe
thicknessofthedrywall.
Step 2.Cutandinstall2×4
bracesbetweenthestudand
crossbracesat45-degree
anglesforsupport.Becertain
thecrossbracesandstudare
perpendicular.
Step 3.Naila6-inchscrap
wood“cleat”nearthetopof
oneofthemiddlewallstuds
intheroomtocreateaholder
overwhichtoslideoneend
ofthedrywall.Whileholding
thesheetoverthecleatand
againsttheceilingwithone
hand,slidethedeadman
underthefreeendofthe
panel.Straightenthebraceto
securethesheet.Getaladder
andscrewornailthedrywall
totheceilingjoists.
THIS MOLD
HOUSE
Fungusamongus?Oneleak
underyourkitchensinkcan
startacolonyofStachybotrys
chartarum.Thegreenishblackmoldfesterson
fiberboardanddustparticles
whenthere’sextramoisture.
Cleanitupbyfindingthe
leakfirst.Thenspraya1:16
mixofbleachandwateron
thespots.After1hour,scrub.
Letitdry,thenkeepitthat
waywithmoisture-sucking
crystalslikeDampRid.
DE-ICE YOUR
DRIVEWAY
Putdownthepickax.There’s
aneasier(andsafer)wayto
thawasidewalkordriveway.
Add Water
Forsmallerareas,shoveloff
anysnowandpourwarm
waterontheexposedice.
Whenyoueventuallythrow
onrocksalt,you’llcreatea
brine,whichshouldmeltthe
icefaster.
Harness the Sun
Coattheicewithadarkcoloredabrasivematerial,
suchascoalashordarksand.
Thedarkcolorcanthen
absorbheatfromthesunand
helpmelttheice,aswellas
providetractionforwalking
anddriving.
Shake On the Salt
Rocksaltlowersthefreezing
pointofwater,sowhenit’s
addedtoice,itspeedsthe
meltingprocess.Bewary:
Saltcandamageconcreteand
plantsifyouletitcollect,so
whentheiceisgone,sweepit
upandtossit.
BLOW OUT A SINK
CLOG
Unclogyoursinkquickly
withhelpfromThisOld
Houseplumbingexpert
RichardTrethewey.Filla
milkjugorempty2-litersoda
bottlewithwater.Coverthe
overflowdrainofthesink
withapieceofducttape—
thiscutsofftheair’sescape
route.Inonequickmotion,
jamthetopofthebottleinto
thedrainandsqueezethe
bottlehardtosendajetof
waterintothedrain.Takeoff
thetapeandrunthewaterto
seeiftheclog’sgone.Didn’t
work?Repeatthestepsagain,
butifthreetriesdon’twork,
callaplumber.
Ifyourplungercan’tbudge
aclogfromadrain,stuffa
wettowelinthebasin’s
overflowportandtryagain.
Thiswillboostpressureinthe
pipe.
HOW TO HANG
OUT
DerekHansen,authorofThe
UltimateHang:AnIllustrated
GuidetoHammockCamping,
explainshowtorigthe
perfectnapper’sparadise.
WHATYOU’LLNEED1
polyesterorparachute-nylon
outdoorhammock(about10'
×5');2polyesteror
polypropylenewebbingstraps
(each4'longwithstitched
eyeloopsoneitherend);2
climbing-ratedcarabiners;
travelpillow;towel
1. Seek Shade
Locatetwotreeswithsturdy
trunksthatareatleast6
inchesindiameter.They
shouldbe12feetto15feet
apart;formostguys,that
distanceisaboutfive
comfortablesteps.Check
overheadfordeadlimbsor
brokenbranchesthatcould
fallonyou.Youwantsleep,
notadirtnap.
2. Rig Ropes
Wrapeachwebbingstrap
aroundatreeatabouthead
heighttocreateananchor
point:Feedoneendthrough
theoppositeeyeloopand
thenpullthestraptightto
secureit.Nowusethe
carabinerstoclipthe
hammocktotheloops.It
shouldhang20inchesoffthe
ground.
3. Control Comfort
Yourhammockshouldslope
downwardata30-degree
anglefromeachtree.Totest
theangle,forma“fingergun”
withyourthumbparallelto
thetree.Yourthumband
indexfingershouldboth
touchthestrap.Iftheangleis
toosteep,unhookthestrap,
twistit,andreconnect.
4. Recline Right
Don’tjustlieinthecenterof
thehammock.Drapeyour
bodyacrossitdiagonallywith
yourheadononesideand
yourfeetontheother.It’ll
helpyoukeepyourback
straighter,easingpressure.
Breakoutthepillowandput
arolled-uptowelunderyour
knees.Nap-testoften.
TIDY UP YOUR
BOWL
Gottoswabtheloo?Don’t
botherwithstore-bought
bowlcleaner.Gowith
vinegarandbakingsoda,
whichcombineforagunkbustingreaction,saysMartin
Mulvihill,PhD,aresearcher
ofgreenchemistryatUCBerkeley.Sprinkle½cup
bakingsodaaroundtheinside
ofthebowl,add½cup
vinegar,andscrubwhilethe
effervescencedoesthework.
Rule #7
For every roach you see, there
are 800 more in your kitchen.
BUILD A TREE
HOUSE
Notree?Noproblem.Putthe
houseonstiltsandtrickitout
withadd-ons.Weasked
DavidStiles
(stilesdesign.com),authorof
thebookFortsforKids,to
createacustomized,Men’s
Health–approvedstilthouse
thatdoesnotdamagetrees.
Startsawing,andmakeyour
kidtheneighborhoodhero
(thoughtheotherdadsmay
hateyou).
WHATYOU’LLNEED
•4×4ACQpressure-treated
posts,10'(4)/supportposts
•2×6#2fir,8'(7)/floorjoists
•2×4cedar,12'(2)/knee
braces
•concretemix(80-lbbags)
(4)/postfootings
•5/8"×6"cedardecking,8'
(6)/deck
•3/4”exteriorplywood,4'×
8'(1)/floor
•2×3spruce,8'(14)/framing
•2×4fir,8'(1)/ridgebeam
•5/8"exteriorgrooved
plywood,4'x8'(4)/rooffront
&backsides
•4×4cedar,16'(1)/railing
posts
•2×6cedar,8'(2)/railing
•plastic-coatedwirefencing,
50'(1)/railingenclosure
•3"galvanizedbutthinges
(4)/windows
•1/2"×5"lagscrews
(36)/corners,kneebraces
•1boxeachof2"and3"
epoxy-coatedsquare-drive
screws
Raise Your Kids
Right
Structuresbuiltintreescan
damagelimbsandviceversa.
Sobuildyourfortonposts
nearatreeforasimilarbut
safereffect.ThisA-frame
designiseasyand
inexpensivetobuild.Start
yourplanninghere,andthen
headoverto
MensHealth.com/treehouse
fortheexpandedinstructions.
Accessorize
Buildaremovableperiscope
toscanforspies.(Seeour
instructionsonline.)Touse
theperiscope,pokeitup
throughaholeintheroofand
restitssupportshaftonthe
floor.Anothercooladd-on:a
pulleysystemattheendof
theridgebeam.
1. Check the Codes
Askyourmunicipalityifyou
needapermittobuild.Make
surenopipesorcablesare
buriedintheareawhereyou
plantodig.
2. Go Shopping
(Est. Cost: $500)
Seelistofmaterialsabove.
3. Set Up Your
Support Posts
Markoutan89½×66¾-inch
clearedareawithstringto
showwherethecentersofthe
foursupportpostsshouldbe.
Atthosecorners,digfour
holes,each12inchesin
diameterand3feetdeep;
placethe4×4postsloosely
intheholes.Temporarily
bracetheposts,butdon’t
backfilltheholesuntilthe
platformisinplace.
4. Build the
Platform
Ontheground,buildthefloor
framewiththejoists,using
epoxy-coated2-inchsquareheadscrews.(Seeillustration
Aonpage242for
measurements.)Thenhave
fourfriendsliftitoverthe
posts.Levelitandattachitat
the6-foot-highmark.Cutand
addtheeight
2×4cedarbracestotheposts
andframeoneachside.Make
sureeverythingisplumband
level,andthenpartiallyfill
theholeswithsoil,tamping
thedirtwitha2×4asyou
work.Mixtheconcreteand
fillthetop10inchesofthe
hole;lettheconcretecurefor
atleast24hours.
5. Construct Your
A-Frame
Usefive4×6deckboards
forthefrontdeck,and
plywoodfortheinteriorfloor.
BuildupyourA-frameand
sheatheitinplywood.(See
illustrationBonpage242.)
Buildtherailingwiththe
cedar4×4sand2×6s,
leavingatleasta20-inchgap
ononesideforaccess.Use
thefencingtoenclosethe
railing.Cutoutthewindow
andsecureitwiththehinges.
Attacharopeorwooden
ladderattheopening.Now
standbackandgraciously
acceptapplausefromyour
kids.
A. Platform Floor
Plan
Attachtheplatformtothe
postsusinglagscrews.Cut
the3-footkneebracesfrom2
x4s.Uselagscrewstoattach
thetopstotheinsideofthe
floorframeandthebottoms
tothesupportposts.
B. A-Frame Plan
TREE-HOUSE
BUILDING TIPS
1. Ifyoudecidetobuildina
tree,searchforplans
onlinethatminimize
damagetothetree.Never
cutpiecesoutofthetree
forsupport,asitexposes
livingtissue,andkeep
damagetobarktoa
minimumtoreduce
infection.
2. Don’tclimbladdersor
treeswithtoolsinyour
hand—forsafetyreasons.
Instead“bucketyour
tools.”Placethemina
bucketandtiealongrope
tothehandlesoyoucan
pullup.
3. Buildcooladditions:a
clotheslinepulley
withabucketbetweenthe
treehouseandkitchenso
youcansnagsnacks,zip
line,
ropeswing,ropebridge,
watercannonandsolarpoweredlights.Formore
ideas,visitrelaxshacks.
com,
nelsontreehousesupply.com
and
treelesstreehouse.com.
BE A HANDY MAN
Savemoneyandearn
braggingrightswiththese
quickfixesfordomestic
snafus.
PULL A STRIPPED
SCREW.Usingachisel,cut
adeephorizontalgroove
acrosstheheadofthescrew.
Nowuseaflat-head
screwdrivertobackoutthe
screw.
FIX A HOLE IN
DRYWALL.1.Cutasquare
orrectanglearoundthehole
withautilityknife.Besureto
exposehalfthewidthofthe
closeststud.2.Cutanew
squareofdrywalltofit.
Screwthepatchintothestud
andcoverthecrackswitha
pieceofjointtape.Coatthe
workareawithathinsheetof
jointcompound.3.Whendry,
sandtheareawithafine-grit
sandpaperandapplypaint
primeroverthepatch.
UNJAM A GARBAGE
DISPOSAL.Mostdisposals
havehex-wrenchholesatthe
bottom.Insertyourwrench
andreversetheblades,
freeingthejammeditem.
Reachinandyankitout.
REMOVE THE BASE OF
A SMASHED LIGHT
BULB.Makesurethelamp
isunpluggedor,ifit’s
hardwired,flipoffthecircuit
breaker.Cleanoverthe
biggershardsfromthebase,
thenpressthecutsideofa
halfpotatodownonit.Turnit
counterclockwise.
MEASURE WITH
MONEY
Can’tfindarulerortape
measure?Throwmoneyat
yourproblem.Forsmall
measurements,useapenny,
whichisexactlythreequartersofaninchacross.
Forbiggermeasures,useany
USpapercurrency,whichis
6½incheslong.
Q: I HAVE ANTS.
WHAT’S THE BEST
WAY TO GET RID
OF THE
BUGGERS?
A.Avoidthoseaerosolcans
ofantkiller,becausethey
won’twork:Whenyouspray
aninsecticide,youannihilate
onlytheantsyoucansee,
whichisjust10percentofthe
nest,saysPeggyPowell,
PhD,anentomologistwith
theWestVirginiaDepartment
ofAgriculture.Thesmarter
salvo?Baits.TrytheAdvance
360ADualChoice
(epestsupply.com),which
usesapoisonousprotein-andsugar-basedgoopthatants
scrambletotaketotheir
colony.Placethebaitstations
nearwhereyouthinkyour
invadersareentering.And
remember:Sincetheirmain
goalistohaulbackasmuch
grubastheycantofeedtheir
queenandcrew,besureto
cleanupeverylastfood
crumbinyourhome.Once
theants’supplyofsnacksis
gone,they’llgostraightfor
thebait,akatheirlastmeal.
SPIFF UP YOUR
DECK
Addlusterandlife
expectancytoyourwood
deckwiththesesimple
stainingsteps.
Got Wood?
First,decodeyourdeck’s
material.Ifyouliveanywhere
fromtheEastCoastto
Denver,chancesareyouhave
pressure-treatedsouthern
yellowpine.WestCoastfolks
arelikelytohavewesternred
cedardecks.Don’tthinkit’s
either?Youcouldbelooking
atanexotichardwood.Scrape
thewoodwithyour
fingernail.Ifyournailleaves
agroove,thewoodiscedar.
Onlyalightscratch?It’s
yellowpine.Dense,exotic
hardwoods,suchasironwood
andBrazilianwalnut,show
nomarkswhenscratched.
Scrub Down
Towashaway99percentof
thedirtonbarewood,usea
detergentthatcontains
carbonate,suchasOxiClean
VersatileStainRemover
PowderorTidepowder
withoutbleach.Fillabucket
withhotwaterandadda
quartercupofthecleanerper
gallon,lettingitdissolvefor
15minutes.Hosedownthe
deckandapplythesolution
usingapumpsprayer,then
useapushbroomtoscrubthe
dirtaway.Hosethedeckonce
moretorinse.
Stain It Up
Chooseasemitransparent
stainwithmicroreflectors,or
afull-bodystainwithadded
color.Thesestainsprevent
cracksandblistersandblock
damagingUVrays.Applythe
stainwitha6-inchmicrofiber
brush,coatingasingleboard
atatimetoavoidan
overlapping,streakypattern.
Wait It Out
Onceyou’vefinished,allow
thestaintodryanywhere
fromovernightto72hours
beforebustingoutthegrilling
gear.Readthemanufacturer’s
labeltodeterminewhethera
secondcoatisneededand,if
so,whetheritshouldbe
appliedwhilethefirststainis
stillwetorafterithasdried.
Rule #8
Most of what you want in life
may be found in a hardware
store, not counting sex.
CLEAN YOUR
SECOND-STORY
WINDOWS ON
THE CHEAP
Sure,youcouldbuya
squeegeeonastick.But
DIYexpertSpikeCarlsen
hasaplanthat’smorefun.
1. Mix2cupswaterwith
¼cupvinegarand½
teaspoonliquid
detergent.
2. PouritintoaSuper
Soakerandshootyour
windowsfromoutside.
3. Reloadwithfreshwater
andrinse.It’sbestto
dothisonanovercast
daysothesolution
won’tdryandcause
waterspotsbeforeyou
canrinse.
EVICT A CRITTER
FROM YOUR
HOME
Defcon 1: Squirrel
Itcanbite.Sotrytocorralthe
littlenutmuncherinaroom
thathasanopendooror
window.Squirrelsaredrawn
tolight,sotrytomakethe
roomdarkexceptwhere
you’dlikeittogo.Eventually
it’llfinditswayoutside.
Defcon 2: Bird
Trythesquirreltacticfirst.If
thatdoesn’twork,closethe
drapes,darkentheroom,and
coveranywindows.When
thebirdsettlesinonespot,
placeatoweloverit(usea
handtowelforatinybird)
andcarefullyscoopitup.
Releasethebirdoutsidenear
atreeorshrubbery.
Defcon 3: Bat
WaituntilDraculalandsona
wall.Openawindow,close
anydoors,andletthebat
escapeatnight.Nodice?
Quietlyapproachthebatand
coveritwithanopen
shoebox.(Weargloves.)Slide
apieceofcardboardunder
theboxtogentlydetachthe
batsoitfallsintothebox.
Releasethebatoutside,
holdingtheboxawayfrom
yourface.
SNUFF OUT A
SMALL FIRE
It’salwaysbettertoletthe
proshandleafire.Butifyou
insistonfightingitanyway,
atleastarmyourselfwiththe
rightweaponsandtechnique
(below).BuyaUL-listed
multipurposeABC
extinguisher,liketheKidde
FullHome(homedepot.com),
foreachfloor.
Pull the Pin
Removethesafetypinfrom
theextinguishertounlockthe
trigger.Standabout8feet
awayfromthefire;keepyour
backtoaclearexitrouteatall
times.
Hit the Floor
Aimatthebaseofthefire
andsqueezethetrigger.Don’t
blaststraightattheflames;
youwon’tputoutthefire,but
youwillwasteextinguishing
agent.
Tame the Flames
Sweepthenozzlebackand
forth.Don’tstopuntileither
thefireisoutorthe
extinguisherisempty.Ifthe
fireisstillburningor
smoking,exittheareaand
call911.
CATCH A MOUSE
—ALIVE!
Yeah,youcouldjustbuya
trapandkillthebugger.But
thatcanturnmessy.Andit’s
mean.Thisway,themouseis
goneandyour
girlfriend/wife/kidsaren’t
grossedout.
Step 1.
Tearoffapieceofwide
packagingtape.Placetwo
sticksorpencilsonthetape
aninchapartandabouttwothirdsofthewayup.
Step 2.
Attachbaittothetape.Peanut
butterorpotatochipswork
great.
Step 3.
Useasecondpieceoftapeto
keepthebaitinplace,but
leavesomefoodexposed.
Step 4.
Micescurryalongtheedges
ofrooms,sopickaspotalong
awallabouthalfwaybetween
twocorners.Putapieceof
cardboardonthefloor.
Step 5.
Standthesticksuponthe
cardboardandusethemto
propupasemitransparent
bowl,withroomforthe
mousetocrawlunder.
Step 6.
Whenthemousereachesfor
thebait,it’llpushthesticks
overandtrapitself.Check
yourtrapregularly.
RELEASE IT:
Pickupthecardboardand
bowlandtakethemouseat
least100feetawayfrom
yourplacesoitdoesn’t
comeback.Cleanand
disinfectanyareaswhere
themousemayhavebeen,
usingableachsolutionor
disinfectant.Patchupany
holesinyourwallsthat
micemightcrawlthrough
—theycanfitthrougha
spaceassmallasadime.
BUILD A CANINE
CRIB
JasonCameron,hostofDIY
Network’sManCaves,shows
howtoshelteryourbest
friend.
WHAT YOU NEED:
8-12
1 bag crushed batts
mineral
stone
wool
insulation
2-4 cans
4 concrete pier (24 oz
each)
blocks
spray
foam
2 sheets
3 pressure¾" T1-11
treated 2 × 4 × plywood
8s
siding, 4
×8
1 small
4 sheets ½"
#15
plywood, 4 × 8 roll
felt paper
8-12 tubes (10
oz each) Liquid 1 bundle
Nails heavyasphalt
duty
shingles
construction
adhesive
2 boxes
(1 lb
2 boxes (1 lb
each) #9 × 3¼" each)
×
stainless steel #11
1¼"
nails
roofing
nails
12 Douglas fir
2 × 4 × 8s
Step 1: Measure
the Beast
Abighousemeansacold
dog.Maptheseinterior
dimensions.Length:dog’s
hindendtotipofnose+12
inches.Width:dog’s
shoulders+18inches.
Height:dog’sheight(floorto
topofheadashesitsupright
onhindlegs)+3inches.
Dooropening:forwidth,
dog’swidth+2inches;for
height,dog’sshoulderheight
+2inches.
Step 2: Lay the
Groundwork
Makeafoundationofcrushed
stone,rakingitoutevenly.
Placeapierblockateach
cornerandusealeveltoalign
theheightoftheblocks.
Step 3: Build the
Base
Nailtogetherpressure-treated
2×4sforabaseframe.(Add
8inchestolengthandwidth
tofittheinteriorspecs.)
Covertheframewith½-inch
plywood,“A”sideup.Glueit
totheframebeforenailing
(cornersfirst,thendownthe
centerofeach2×4).
Step 4: Frame Up
the Walls
UsingDouglasfir2×4s,
frameallfourwallsflaton
theground.Nailcenterstuds
inthebackandsidewalls.
(Keepthebackwallstud2
inchesoffcenterfortheroof
strut.)Glueandnail½-inch
plywoodtotheinteriorofthe
backandsidewallsandadd
insulation.Coverthewalls
with¾-inchplywood.Mark
andcutoutthedoor.Stand
thewallsonthebaseandnail
themtothebaseandeach
other.Toenaileachcorner.
Sprayfoamintoseams.
Step 5: Raise the
Roof
Naila2×4support(24
incheshigh)atthemidpoint
ofthefrontwalltopplate;do
thesameonthebackwall.
Cutaridgeboardthelength
ofthehouseandnailtothe
topsupports.Tomakeeach
oftheeightrafters(fourper
side),cutoneendofa2×4
atanangletomeettheridge;
thencutanotchintheother
endsoit’llsitflatonthetop
plate.Nailtheraftersinto
place.Sheathetheroofwith
½-inchplywood(makingsure
there’soverhang);coverthe
gableswithplywood
triangles.Thenapplyfelt
paperandshinglestothe
roof.
Forcompleteplansonhowto
buildthispoochpalace,head
to
MensHealth.com/doghouse.
ORGANIZE YOUR
GARAGE
Assess the Mess
Pickasunnymorningtopull
everythingoutofthegarage
andtakeinventory;you’ll
immediatelyseewhatyouno
longerneed.Makeayard-sale
pileforduplicatesoritems
youhaven’tusedinatleast3
years.Makeaseparatepile
fortoxicorrecyclablestuff—
carbatteries,oldmowergas
—anddisposeofthem
responsibly.(Visit
earth911.comforrecycling
adviceandresources.)
Zone Your Space
Withthegarageclear,tryto
visualizewherethebigthings
(workbench,mower)might
fit.Also,designateareasfor
specificitemsyouneed
regularaccessto—yardtools,
forinstance.
Freshen Up
Hangpegboardforsmall
tools,andmetalreelsfor
hosesandcords.Treatthe
floorwithanepoxycoating,
suchasgrayUCoatIt
(ucoatit.com),whichtakes4
to12hourstodry.Thisfinish
preventsspillabsorptionand
makescleanupseasier.
Mobilize Your Gear
Pulloutablackmarkerand
makealabelforanyboxor
binwithcontentsthatarenot
immediatelyapparent.Place
largeitems(cabinets,plastic
bins)onplywoodmoving
dollies.Mobilityallowsyou
toeasilyadjustthelayoutof
thespaceifyouneedto.Now
inviteyourpalsovertoshow
off.
SPRING-CLEAN
YOUR CAR
Babyyourridetoa
showroomfinishwithcustom
cardesignerStaceyDavid,
hostofGearzontheSpeed
Channel.
Scout the Facility
Skipthedrive-thrujoint;
thosegiantspinningbrushes
maydamageyourcar’spaint
job.Instead,seekouta
human-operatedcarwashor
detailerthatusesmicrofiber
towels,autosoapsuchas
MothersorMeguiar’s,and
compoundsforpolishing.The
TLCshouldinvolvefour
steps:washing,cleaning,
polishing,andwaxing.
Order Smart
Manyfull-servicecarwashes
boosttheirprofitswithbell-
and-whistleextras.Keepit
simple:abasewashtoblast
offthedirt,aclaybarto
removegrime,anda
polishingcompoundorbuff
tobringouttheshine.Finally,
finishwithawaxtosealand
protect.
Spot-Clean
Keepyourcar’spaintjobin
goodshapebytreatingittoa
fullwashevery2or3weeks,
awaxevery2or3months,
andaspot-cleaneachweekif
needed.(Birddroppingsand
splatteredbugscanalterthe
finishandcolorofyourcar.)
CLEAN YOUR
WHEELS
Themetallicparticlesin
brakedustwillcorrode
expensivewheels—unless
youkeepthemclean.
Apply
Sprayonamild,pH-balanced
wheelcleanerandletitwork
tolifttheparticlesoffthe
wheelmetal,followingthe
bottle’sdirections.(Strong
acidsinold-schoolcleaners
candamagethefinishon
today’swheels.)
Remove
Rinsethewheel.Scrubitwith
amicrofiberwheelbrushto
removelingeringdirt.Dry
withamicrofibertowel;
repeattheprocessfor
stubbornstains.Cleanwheels
individuallysothecleaner
doesn’tdryonthem.
Polish
Applyahigh-qualitywheel
polishtoyourwheelswitha
clean,drymicrofibertowel.
Letthepolishdryandthen
wipeitoffwitharegular
cloth.Thissealsyourwheel
andhelpsprotectitfrom
debris.
Q: WHAT’S THE
GREENEST WAY
TO HEAT A HOME?
A.Tapthewellofwarmth
beneathyourfeetwitha
geothermalheatpump.They
drawheatthroughlooped
pipesthatrundeep
underground,wherethe
earth’stemperaturestays
moreconsistent.Geothermal
heatpumpsearnthehighest
possibleLEEDcertification
andproducefewercarbon
dioxideemissionsthanother
systems.Itallcomesata
heftyprice—about$25,000—
butinthelongrun,theextra
efficiencymeansyou’llsave
greenbygoinggreen,says
MaxSherman,PhD,asenior
scientistattheLawrence
BerkeleyNational
Laboratory.Tofindan
accreditedinstaller,checkthe
“businessdirectory”linkat
igshpa.okstate.edu.
ConquerWeeds
withWater
Traditionalweedkillers
canharmtheenvironment
andcrawlingkids.Ifyour
patioisbecomingaweedy
mess,trystickingaflatheadscrewdriverin
betweenthepaversor
sidewalkslabstoexcavate
anddestroytheweeds’root
systems.Ifthatfails,go
fullboil:Fillakettlewith
water,bringittoaboil,
andpouritonanyweeds
youwanttodie.
Rule #9
If footprints remain in your
lawn after walking on it, you
need to water the grass.
PATCH A HOLE IN
THE WALL
Wildpartylastnight?Fixa
smallholewiththisfast,easy
“blowoutpatch”technique
fromcontractorJohn
DeSilviaofDIYNetwork’s
RescueMyRenovation.No
powertoolsorf-bombs
needed.
1. Prepare Your
Patch
Withadrywallknife,trimthe
holetoformasquare(1).Cut
asparepieceofdrywall2
incheslargerthantheholeon
allsides.Thenusetheknife
toscoreaborderaroundthe
backofthepiece,2inchesin
fromtheperimeter(2).Peel
offthepaperbackingfrom
thisborder;theresultshould
beahole-sizepieceof
drywallwith2-inchflapsof
paperonallsides(3).Setthe
blowoutpatchaside.
2. Cover the Hole
Spreadanevenlayerofjoint
compoundaroundthehole
andplacetheblowoutpatch
overthehole(4).Asyou
applypressuretothepatch,
those2-inchflapsshould
adheretothecompound.Use
a9-inchtapingknifetopush
outexcesscompoundand
scrapeitawayfromthe
drywall,leavingasmooth,
evensurface.
3. Conceal the
Evidence
Allowthejointcompoundto
drybeforeapplyinganother
coat.Afterthesecondcoat
dries,sandtheareasmoothso
thepatchisflushwiththe
wall.Nowit’sreadytopaint.
Hole?Whathole?
HANG A PICTURE
ON A BRICK WALL
WHATYOU’LLNEED
Drill
¼" masonry drill bit (used
specifically for stone, brick,
concrete); plastic anchor sleeves
(which usually come in a kit with
screws)
Hammer
1. Don’tdrillintobrickbya
fireplaceornearanytype
offlue—youmaydamage
thefluepipe.Ifyou’renot
surewhat’sbehindthere,
don’tdrill.
2. Drilla1-inch-deephole
intothemortar.Don’t
touchthebrick.Mortaris
easiertodrillinto—but
it’salsostrong.
3. Blowthedustoutand
insertthesleeveintothe
hole,gentlyhammeringit
intoplace.Thentwistin
thescrewthatcamewith
thesleeve,leavingits
headstickingout¼inch.
4. Hangyourartandenjoy.
MOVE FURNITURE
LIKE A
PROFESSIONAL
Nosofaonearthwill
overpoweryouwiththese
experttips.
UP A FLIGHT OF STAIRS
1. Thepersonmoving
backwardupthestairs
enduresthemostback
andcorestress.Putthe
strongerpersonthere.
2. Youbothmustgripthe
object’sendsatsimilar
pointsforstability.Keep
yourarmsaboveyour
thighsandyourelbows
tuckedintoyourbodyto
preventbackstrain.
3. Walkwithawidestance
tosupporttheweight.The
toppersoncontrolsthe
pace—leftfoot,right,left,
right.Breakonlandings:
It’ssaferthanmidflight.
AROUND A TIGHT CORNER
1. Mostpeopletrytoresta
couchontwolegsand
pushitaroundatanangle.
Butthatmuchstresson
thelegsmaydamage
them.Moversprefer
goingvertical.
2. Standthecouchonend
andpushitaroundthe
corner.Makesurethe
sittingsurfacefacesthe
insideofthecorner
you’retryingtonavigate;
otherwiseyoumightrun
thecouchintothewall
andcausedamage.
COVER UP
POSTPARTY
WOOD
SCRATCHES
Biteanalmondinhalf.Rub
theinsideofthealmondinto
thedamage.Theoilfromthe
nutwillhelphidesmall
scratches.
Rule #10
Masking woodwork when
painting will double your work.
Learn to paint a straight line.
CLEAN UP A
GRIME SCENE
RandyGaines,vicepresident
ofengineering,housekeeping,
andlaundryoperationsfor
HiltonWorldwide,showsyou
howtopolishyourbathtubto
five-starperfection.
1. Diagnose the
Dirt
Savetimeandmoneyby
targetingspecifictubstains
withsafecleaners.
WhatItLooksLike:Black,
pink,red,orgreenfilm
WhatItProbablyIs:
Mildew
HowtoBustIt:Most
mildewproductsdon’thavea
highenoughpHtokill
growth.Useatoiletbowl
cleanerwithbleach.
BuyThis:LysolPower&
FreeToiletBowlCleaner.It
useshydrogenperoxide,
whichisnotasharshas
chlorine.
WhatItLooksLike:Cloudy
spots
WhatItProbablyIs:Hard
water
HowtoBustIt:Choosean
acidiccleanerwithavinegar
orcitricacidbase.
BuyThis:MethodNatural
TubandTileBathroom
Cleaner.Thisplantbased,
nontoxicproductwillerase
hard-waterstainsandbust
soapscumwithoutleaving
harshchemicalfumesbehind.
WhatItLooksLike:Thick,
chalkyresidue
WhatItProbablyIs:Soap
scum
HowtoBustIt:Acidic
cleanersarealsoyourbestbet
forremovingsoapscum.
2. Blast the Crud
Spraythecleanerandwaitat
least10minutesfortheactive
ingredientstopenetratethe
dirt.Usinganonabrasive
brushorsponge,cleanall
surfaces,payingclose
attentiontotheareaaninch
ortwoabovethetubbase.
That’swherethemostgunk
tendstosettle.
3. Achieve the
Gleam
Rinsethetubuntilitshines.If
itlooksdull,thencleaner
residueremains.Usea
microfiberclothtodryit.
(Regulartowelsshedlint.)To
makemetalsurfacessparkle
andguardagainsthard-water
stains,useatissuetoapplya
thinlayerofpetroleumjelly.
KEEP YOUR LAWN
GREEN
Toavoidbrownpatches,
don’tmowshort.Tallergrass
holdsmoremoisture.Ifyou
liveintheSouth,raiseyour
mowerdeckto1½inches;in
theNorth,makeit3.And
don’twaterafterwork;the
besttimeofdayformoisture
retentionis2a.m.to6a.m.
Setatimer.
DestinkYour
Fridge
Placeanopenbowlof
groundcoffeeonthe
bottomshelf.Withina
week,thecoffeewill
absorballthefoulodors—
andleavebehindthe
pleasingaromaofextraboldSumatra.
THIEF-PROOF
YOUR PALACE
Foilanintruderandstaysafe
withthesetipsfromChris
McGoey,asecurity
consultantwith40-plusyears
ofexperience,andJesse
Martinez,aseniorpolice
officerinHouston.
1. Secure the
Perimeter
Rigamotion-sensor-activated
lightlikethisLithonia
Lightingfloodlightovereach
door.Trimshrubssoentries
arevisiblefromthestreetand
policeorneighborscanspot
danger.Replaceanyhalf-inch
deadboltlockswithonesthat
extendaninchormoreinto
thedoorframe.
2. Round the
Troops
Intruderswanttocatchyou
scared,soturnthetables.Add
anexterior-doordeadbolttoa
bedroomdoor.Ifabreak-in
occurs,hideinthatroomwith
yourfamily.Surprisethe
crookswithlightingthat’s
iPhone-oriPad-controlled,
likethePhilipsHueWi-Fi–
enabledLEDlightbulbs.
3. Call for Backup
Ifpossible,call911froma
landlinesoyournameand
addressdisplayautomatically.
(Cellphonespingtheclosest
tower;adispatchermayhave
troubledeterminingwhereto
sendthepolice.)Nolandline?
Tryasmartphoneapplike
LifeLineResponse.
SAVE THE PLANET
—PLANT A TREE
Theaveragematuretree
sucksup48poundsofcarbon
dioxideayearandreleases
enoughoxygentosustaintwo
people.Needmoreincentive
tograbashovel?Afew25footsunblockingdeciduous
treesonthesouthandwest
sidesofyourhomecan
reduceyourcoolingcostsby
25percent.Checkoutthe
NationalArborDay
Foundation(arborday.org)for
agreatdealonseedlingsand
instructionsonhowtoplant
themright.
Rule #11
To be safe, a leaning ladder
should be 1 foot away from
the wall for every 4 feet that
the ladder rises. So if your
ladder touches the outside of
your house 16 feet above the
ground, the feet of the ladder
should be 4 feet from the wall.
THIS SOLD HOUSE
Howtogetmoreforyour
home.
Besidesputtingabowlof
McIntoshapplesonthe
kitchencounter,there’smuch
moreyoucandotomake
yourplacemoreappealingto
prospectivehomebuyers—
andgetbetteroffers.
Paint the front door.It’s
thekeytocurbappeal.And
hitthehingeswithsomeWD40sotheywon’tcreaklike
theAddamsFamilyhome.
Purge your closets.Box
uphalftheclothinginthe
closetandleaveitwitha
friendorinastorageunit.
Youwanttosellthenotionof
amplestoragespace.Dothe
samewithkitchencabinets.
Buyerswillopenevery
cupboardanddrawer.
Plant some colorful
flowers in pots or in the
ground out front.Again,
thinkcurbappeal.Youwant
buyerstostartforminga
positiveimpressionassoon
astheypullup.
Don’t bother painting
rooms.Buyerswillexpect
todothat,sinceit’slikely
theywon’tlikethecolor
you’vechosen.However,do
takeawetclothanddustoff
thebaseboards.Iftheylook
reallynasty,givethema
touchup.
Clean your bathrooms
well.Don’tpaintorupgrade
theserooms.Buyersoften
expecttodothat.Butdirty
bathrooms,especiallytoilets,
sinks,andshowers,areareal
turnoff.
THAW A FROZEN
WATER PIPE
Onthecoldestofnights,
especiallyifyouwillbeaway
fromhome,allowatinydrip
fromfaucetstopreventthe
pipesfromfreezing.Ifyou
endupwithafrozenwater
pipe,thawitbeforeitbursts
andcauseswaterdamage.
Here’soneway:
1. Openthefaucetsnearthe
pipe,butdon’tforceit.It
maybefrozen,too.
2. Getanoldhandtowelor
bathtowelandwrapthe
pipewithit.Securethe
towelinplacewithafew
wrapsofducttape.
3. Pourboilingwaterover
thetowel(becarefulnot
toscaldyourhands).
4. Keeppouringhotwater
overthetoweluntilthe
lineclearsofice.
18:
Percentageofmenwho
havesomuchjunkinthe
garage,thecarwon’tfit.
TURN A PALLET
INTO A PATIO
CHAIR
MattBlashaw,hostof
HGTV’svacationhousefor
free,transformsashipping
palletintoanadirondack
chair.
WHATYOU’LLNEED
1 large shipping pallet with 2
center support beams (stringers)
Circular saw, or reciprocating saw
with bimetal blade
Cat’s-paw nail puller
24 coated deck screws (2")
Cordless drill with bit set and
Phillips bit driver set
Hammer
2 carriage bolts (5") with nuts and
washers
Orbital sander
Exterior-grade solid stain, or primer
and paint
1. Pick Your Pallet
Askafurniturestoreor
supermarketforaspare
pallet.Iftheplaceletsyou
rootaround,findonewithout
crackedorbustedslats.Make
suretheslatsareevenly
spacedandthatallthenails
areflushandunbroken.
2. Make Your Cuts
Usingthesaw,cuttheslats
alongtheinsideedgeofone
centerstringer.Theskinnier
sectionwillbetheseat.
3. Assemble the
Pieces
Trimtheslatsonthelarger
sectionsoitwillfitinsidethe
widthoftheseattoformthe
chair’sback.Usethecat’spawtoremovethestringer
fromthescrappieceyoujust
cut.Usedeckscrewsto
securethestringertothe
chair’sback.Carefully
hammeroffallbutfiveofthe
slatsfromthebackandallbut
fourfromtheseat.
4. Build the Chair
FormaVwiththetwo
pieces;drillholeswherethe
stringerscross.Securethe
seatonbothsidesusing
carriagebolts,washers,and
nuts.Attachleftoverslatsto
theseatforfrontlegs.Trim
backlegstoadjustrecline.
5. Do It Up in Style
Sandyourchairwithan
orbitalsander.Stainitwith
exterior-gradesolidstain,or
primeandpaintit.
THE HANDY
MAN’S REVOLVER
Abattery-powered
drill/driverisoneofthemost
usefultoolsforahomeowner
handyman.Butit’suseless
withouttherightbits.Keep
thisammoonhandin
additiontonormalwoodbits.
AugerBit.
It’salongerwoodbitthat
pushesupshavingsasitdigs
deeper.Bestfordeckwork
requiringpredrilledholesfor
lagbolts.
MasonryBit.
Aflattenedtipallows
hammerdrillstopoundwhile
theydrillintostoneorbrick.
Bestforhangingpictureson
interiorbrickwallsand
anchoringmetalstudsto
concretesubfloors.
GlassBit.
Itsarrowliketipmakesclean
holesinglassandtile.Best
forcuttingholesinto
bathroomtilestoinstall
showerheadsorracks.
SpadeBit.
Itscenteringpointandtwo
sharpcuttersburrowholesup
to1½incheswideintothe
wood.
Bestforrunningcables
throughwallstuds.
Lip-and-SpurBit.
Thisvariationonthebasic
twistbithasapointedtipfor
startingthehole.Bestfor
boringthinholesintothick
wood.
BUILD THE
ULTIMATE HOME
GYM
Youcan’tbeattheperksofahome
gym:Parking’sasnap,there’snevera
crowd,anditalwaysplaysmusicyou
like.Plus,thetowelserviceisexcellent,
andyoucangruntallyouwant.Bestof
all,it’sconvenient,meaningyou’re
morelikelytouseitfortheultimate
homeconstructionproject:yourbody.
Here are 10
essential pieces of
equipment to help
you create your
basement body
shop.
POWER RACKItprovidesa
frameworkforeverythingfrombodyweightexercisestohardcorestrength
training.It’salsoanidealanchorfor
suspensiontrainersandresistance
bands.
OLYMPIC BAR AND BUMPER
PLATESUnlike“standard”bars,
whichtypicallyweighlessthan30
pounds,a45-poundOlympicbarcan
handleheavyloadswithoutpermanent
bending.
KETTLEBELLSBuyafewsizesto
allowfordifferentexercises—andyour
increasesinstrength.
FOAM ROLLERUseitbeforeand
afteraworkouttoboostperformance
andacceleratemusclerepair.Startwith
yourcalvesandworkyourwayupyour
body,frontandback.
CARDIO MACHINEUnlikeaSpin
bike,anAirdyneusesafaninsteadofa
frontwheeltogenerateairresistance,
whichisexponential—theharderyou
pedal,theharderpedalingbecomes.
RESISTANCE BANDSNotonlyare
bandsgreatformobilitywork,butyou
canalsousethemtomakebody-weight
moveslikepullupsandpushupseasier
orharder.Loopedaroundtheendsofa
barbellandthepinsatthebaseofa
powerrack,theycanalsoincreasethe
intensityofheavylifts,likesquatsand
presses.
SUSPENSION TRAINERA
comprehensivetrainingtoolinitsown
right,asuspensiontrainerisalsothe
ultimateworkoutaccessory.Attachone
toyourpowerracktoinstantly
accommodate100body-weight
exercisesofvaryingdifficulty.
ADJUSTABLE BENCHLikethe
powerrack,anadjustablebenchsetsthe
stageforhundredsofdifferentlifts,
fromhipthrustsandsupportedrowsto
benchpressesandstepups.
DUMBBELLSUseoneatatimeto
developstability,orgrabapairtobuild
strengthandpower.Shortonroom?
Savemoneyandspacewithadjustable
versions,whichcanreplaceanentire
rackofconventionaldumbbellsfor
abouthalftheprice.
RUBBER FLOORINGRubbermats
willhelpprotectbothfloorsand
weightsfromdamageandalsodeaden
thesoundofdroppedweights.
BigFun
“BoredomAlways
PrecedesaPeriodof
GreatCreativity.”
—RobertM.Pirsig,authorof
ZenandtheArtofMotorcycle
Maintenance
Life’stooshorttositaround
tryingtothinkupsomething
todoonalongweekend.Put
downthatWeedwackerand
pickupourlistof
uncommonlycoolprojectsto
makeyourlifemuchsweeter.
Here’sabucketlistof
homegrownfun:
RigaRopeSwing
BuildYourOwnWater
Park
TeachYourDogtoFetch
aBeer
BuildLadderGolf
CarveaSmashing
Pumpkin
FlyaStuntKite
HostanEpicPoker
Game
BuildaBackyardIce
Rink
ScaretheBejesusoutof
Trick-or-Treaters
ThrowanOutdoorMovie
Party
HightailitOuttaTown
DigaLegitHorseshoePit
...Andmuch,much,
more.
RIG A ROPE
SWING
Practiceyourjungleyell,
Tarzan.You’reabouttomake
youryearlyfamilypicnicby
theriverwaymore
interesting.
Locate a Limb
Forsafeswinging,finda
thick,sturdybranchthat’sat
least8inchesindiameterand
leansoutoverdeepwater—
10to15feetisideal.Clear
thelaunchspot,swingpath,
andlandingareaoffallen
branches,sharprocks,orany
otherobjects.
Gather Your Parts
• 24to32feetofnylon
ropethat’satleast1inch
indiameter
•
Aclotheslineoranarrow
ropethat’satleastaslong
asthenylonrope
•
Aheavyobject,suchasa
padlock
Prep Your Rope
Makealoopusingthefigure
8knot(A)(findthestepsat
MensHealth.com/knots)and
thensecuretheloopusinga
doublestopperknot(B).
Startingattherope’sother
end,tieseveraldoubleknots
2feetapartforhandholdsand
footholds.
Add a Retrieval
System
Youneedawaytogetthe
ropebackforyournext
swing.Tiethethinnerlineto
themainropeabout3feet
belowyourloop.Makethis
retrievallinelongenoughto
allowforawideswing,and
findaplacetoanchoritnear
thetreetrunk.
Secure the Swing
Weighttheretrievallineand
heaveitoverthebranch.Pull
theloopoverthebranchso
youcanthreadtheotherend
ofthemainropethrough.Pull
tight.Removetheweight
fromtheretrievallineand
anchorthelinetothetree.
Nowstartswinging!
Rule #1
Take the day off after your
boss’s day off. He’ll come
back to a pile of work and will
look for someone to unload it
on like YOU unless you are
out of the office.
BUILD YOUR OWN
WATER PARK
Leavetheoverpricedkitat
thestore—buildingaslideis
easy.KenDenmead,the
authorofGeekDad:
AwesomelyGeekyProjects
andActivitiesforDadsand
KidstoShare,showsyou
how.
WHATYOU’LLNEED
•
•
Heavyplastic(6'×25')
8poolnoodles(each4'to
5'long)
•
1rollofsticky-back
Velcro(3⁄4"×15')
•
•
Scissors
•
Hose(50')withsprinkler
attachment
3wireloopstakes(each
1⁄2"to5⁄8")
•
1bottleofbabywash(15
oz)
•
Rope(1⁄2"diameterand
8'to10'long)
1. Pick Your Spot
Bypassthesteephills—you
wantarush,notawreck.
Lookforagentle,grassy
slopewithinhoselengthof
yourhouse.(Hint:Skip
mowingtheweekbefore.)
Leaveatleasta5-foot
clearanceonallsides—that
wayyou’llpreventpainful
wipeouts.
2. Use Your
Noodles
Assembletheundersideof
theslidefirst.Unrollthe
plasticandarrangeyourpool
noodlesinalinealongeach
longside.Keepafewinches
betweeneachnoodleendand
positionthemjustafew
inchesfromthetarpedge,
likelanemarkers.
3. Fortify the Walls
Pulltheplasticupandover
thenoodles,andplace2-inch
Velcrostripsat6-inch
intervalstokeepthenoodle
casinginplace.Rolleach
noodleoveraboutaquarter
turnmoretosecuretheside
walls.Fliptheslideover
completely.Nowyouhave
guardrails.
4. Make It Rain
Placeyoursprinklerafew
feetfromthesideoftheslide,
abouthalfwaydown,and
adjustthesettingssothe
spraywillhittheentirelength
oftheplastic.Securethehose
withloopstakessonoone
tripsoverit.Turnitonand
soakthesplashzone.
5. Lube the
Runway
Forafasterride,dribblea
lineofbabywashdownthe
middleoftheslide.Thiswill
makethechutemoreslippery.
Anotherideaforsuperspeed:
Havethesliderholdtherope
whileanotherkidruns
alongsidetheslide,towing
theslideralong.
6. Rinse and
Repeat
Whenyouarefinished,hang
thehoseonanearbytreeor
fencetocreateanoutdoor
showerforrinsingoff.Then
don’tcleanup.Seriously.Do.
Not.Bother.Leavetherestof
theworkforthemorning.
Plasticrollsupmoreeasily
whenit’sdry.
TEACH YOUR DOG
TO FETCH A BEER
Open the Fridge
(1)Putasmellytreatinsidea
dishtowelandtiethetowelto
thedoorhandle.Wigglethe
towelandrewardyourdog
fortouchingit.(2)Waitfor
himtoputhismouthonthe
towel,say“good!”andgive
himatreat.(3)Onceyour
dogisbitingthetowel,
rewardhimonlywhenhe
pullsit.Inthefinalstage,use
“open”asyourcueforhimto
pullhardandopenthedoor.
Grab the Beer
(4)Emptyabeercan.Play
fetchwithit.(Acozywill
makethecaneasierforthe
dogtocarry.)(5)Placethe
canonalowshelfinanopen,
unclutteredfridgeandhave
yourdogfetchit,usingthe
command“fetch.”Givehima
treat.
Close the Fridge
(6)Openthedoorafew
inchesandholdatreatagainst
thedooratyourdog’snose
height.Encouragehimto
“Close.Getit!”Whenhe
showsinterestinthetreat,
raiseithigheragainstthe
door,justoutofhisreach.In
anattempttoreachit,thedog
willraisebothfrontpawsand
slamthedoorclosed.Forbest
results,rewardhimwhenhis
pawsareonthedoor.(7)
Onceyourdoghasthehang
ofthefirststep,trytapping
thedoortoencouragehimto
pushonit.Rewardhimfor
closingthedoor.(8)Finally,
sendhimfromadistanceto
“close”thedoor.Onceyour
dogiscomfortablewithall
threesteps,starttophaseout
individualcommandsanduse
“Getmeabeer”torepresent
itall.
SNAP THE
PERFECT PIC OF
YOUR POOCH
Train with Treats
Longbeforeyourphoto
session,teachSpikethe
“watchme”trick.Beforehis
dinnertime,takeaprizedtreat
(peanutbutterorbeefjerky,
forexample—somethingyou
don’tnormallygive)and
placeitbetweenyoureyes.
Whenthedoglooksyouin
youreyes,say“watchme,”
andthengivehimthetreat.
Repeatuntilthedoglooks
youintheeyeswhenyousay
“watchme”evenwhen
you’renotholdingatreat.
Prephoto Exercise
Playchasinggamesortoss
aroundaballbeforesetting
uptheshot.Apantingdog
willappearhappierthana
stoicone.
Snap the Picture
Onceyou’veframedtheshot,
say“watchme”tohaveyour
doglookup.Ifit’sagroup
photo,callSpikeintothe
picturelastsoyoudon’t
exhausthisattentionspan.
BUILD LADDER
GOLF
Laddergolf—agamein
whichyoutossgolf-ballbolas
atladderrungstoscorepoints
andwastetime—isthebest
newbeer-in-one-hand
backyardgamesinceJarts.
Butyoudon’thavetobuythe
sporting-goodsstoreversion.
Buildthegameyourselfona
sunnymorningwiththese
instructionsfromJason
Cameron,hostofDIY
Network’sManCaves.Pals
willshowupspontaneously,
withbeer,whenyoufinish.
WHATYOU’LLNEED
•
41"PVCelbow
connectors
•
121"PVC“T”
connectors
•
9'1⁄2"rope(six18"
lengths)
•
12coloredsolid-core
golfballs(6eachof2
colors)
•
•
•
•
Hacksaw
Drill(with1⁄2"bit)
Heavy-dutyscissors
Vise(optional)
Thismakestwoladders,
enoughforafullgame.
Step 1
Cut the pipe:Usinga
hacksaw,cut14piecesof2footlengthsand12piecesof
1-footlengths.
Step 2
Build the ladders:
Assemblethepipelengths
andjointconnectors,starting
withthelegsupportsand
workingup.Foreaseof
assemblyandtransport,do
notgluethejointstogether.
Usethedimensionsshownin
theillustration.
Step 3
Make the bolas:Drilla½inchholethroughthecenter
ofeachgolfball.Threada
pieceofropethroughthehole
inoneoftheballs,andknot
theend.Securetheballby
makingasecondknottightly
againstit.Measure12inches
ofropeandcreateathird
knot.Securethesecondball
(samecolor)inplaceby
tightlycraftingafourthknot.
Trimtheexcess.Makefive
morebolas.
How to Play
Arrange:Placeyour
ladders25feetapart.Each
two-personteamshouldhave
onememberateachladder.
Toss:Opponentsstandto
thesidesoftheladdersand
taketurnsthrowingbolasat
theoppositeladder.
Wrappingabolaaroundthe
topbarnets3points,the
middlebar2,andthebottom
bar1.Hitallthreeinone
roundandscore10.
Tally:Adduppointsatthe
endofeachround.Theteam
withthemostpointscarries
thedifferencetothenext
round.Example:IfTeamA
scores6pointsandTeamB
scores9points,TeamB
keeps3points.Thefirstto
score21wins.
Rule #2
A sure way to avoid
seasickness is to sit on the
shady side of an old brick
church in the country.
CARVE A
SMASHING
PUMPKIN
One-upyourneighbors’
boringdesignswithhelpfrom
RayVillafane,aworldchampionpumpkincarver.
Hit the Patch
Supermarketpumpkinsare
oftentooroundandperfectto
havemuchcharacter.Tofind
apatchnearyou,checkout
localharvest.org.Huntforan
oval-shapedpumpkinwitha
brightorangerindandnosoft
spot.Ahealthypumpkin
shouldfeelheavyrelativeto
itssize.Also,lookforan
interestingstem,whichcan
actasacreepywitchhator
nastygoblinwart.
Sculpt, Don’t Carve
Usingaknifetoshapeyour
jack-o’-lanternlimitsyour
abilitytoadddetail.Pickup
threesizesofclaylooptools
fromanart-supplystore;
thesecancarvecontoursinto
thepumpkin’srind.Start
simply,carvingadesignlike
askull,whichhas
exaggeratedfeaturesthat
providesomeroomforerror.
Useaprintoutreference
imagetohelpguideyou.
Showcase Your
Masterpiece
Insteadofplacingacandle
insidethepumpkin,usean
externalspotlighttoheighten
theshadoweffect.Spraythe
faceofyourjack-o’-lantern
withlemonjuicetopreserve
theexposedpulp.Thistrick
helpskeepthepumpkinfresh
onlyaboutadaylonger,so
captureyourcreationwitha
camera.Turntheflashofffor
bestresults.
FLY A STUNT KITE
Taketotheskieswhenthe
windisright,andcarvesome
awesomeairwiththesetricks.
(Idealwindspeedforkite
flying:6to18mph.)
Gather Your Gear
Startwithabasictwo-line
stuntkite,whichcosts$50to
$100.It’sshapedlikea
stealthbomberandisthe
easiesttypetocontrol.Go
withDacronline,notSpectra
line.(It’llsayonthe
packaging.)Dacronstretches,
givingyouextraroomfor
errorasyoupilotthekite.
Launch
Putyourbacktothewindand
haveabuddyholdthekiteup.
Walkawayuntilyoureelout
alltheline.Withbothlines
taut,haveyourfriendtossthe
kitestraightup.Walk
backwarduntilthekite
catchesthewind.Keepyour
forearmsparalleltothe
groundforbettercontrol.
Trick 1: 360
It’stheeasiesttricktostart
with.Justpullononelineand
keeppullingasthekitemakes
acompletecircle.Bringyour
handsleveltoeachotherto
stopthe360.
Trick 2: Snap Stall
Thistrickmakesakitehover
inmidair.Asyourkiteflies
fromlefttoright,jabyour
righthandforwardasifyou
weredeliveringakidney
punch.Quicklytakeabig
steptowardthekiteandpush
yourlefthandforwardto
matchtheextensionofyour
rightarm.Thismovement
helpscreatethatfreeze-action
look.Pullbacktorecover
fromthestall.
Land Softly
Don’tstartpullingthelinein
asifyou’rereelinginafish
withafishingrod.Thekite
willfightbackandcouldtake
asuddennosedive.Tobring
itingracefully,guidethekite
downbyflyingiteithertothe
leftorright,andparallelto
theground.Thekitewill
graduallydescenduntilit
reachesterrafirma.Thengo
introduceyourselftothe
hordesofapplauding
onlookerswho’vegathered
aroundyou.
LIFE IS MORE FUN
WITH DOGS
JohnGrogan,authorof
Marley&Me:LifeandLove
withtheWorld’sWorstDog,
offersthislistofreasonsyou
shouldreallyownadog:
1. Adogneveraskswhy
you’relate,whereyou’ve
been,whyyoudidn’tcall.
Evenwhenyouactbadly,
hewillgreetyouwith
unbridledenthusiasm.
2. Twoguysarewalking
throughapark.Oneis
alone.Oneiswithadog.
Abeautifulwoman
approaches.Guesswhich
guyshestopstotalkwith.
3. Hemayeattheremote
controlbutwillnever
challengeyourauthority
overit.
4. ReadyforFrisbee,any
day,anytime.
5. Willremindyouevery
hourofeverydaythatitis
yourlifeandyoushould
liveitforyourself,evenif
thatmeansoccasionally
tellingyourbosstogo
humpaskunk.Whenthe
worstthatcanhappen,
happens,hewillalways
haveyourback.
GO ON AN EPIC
BIKE RIDE
“It’sbyridingabicycle,”
wroteErnestHemingway,
“thatyoulearnthecontours
ofacountrybest.”Sculpt
yourcalvesandsensethe
ghostsatthesehistoricsites.
California Gold Rush
(easy).Jamestown,
California,toColumbiaState
HistoricParkisatripof13
milesand150years.
Lexington and Concord
(medium).Gofrom
LexingtonGreentoConcord
Bridge,thentakeonthe
MinutemanBikeTrail,a20mileroute.
The Oregon Trail (hard).
It’sa12-day,724-miletour
ofwhatthepioneersdid,but
theydidn’thavetoworry
aboutflattires.
The Erie Canal (hard).
FromBuffalotoAlbany,it
rollsthroughbreathtaking
sceneryandimpressive
historywithstopsat
breweriesandwineries.
BaskinBravery
Summeristhebestseason
fortakingrisksbecause
yourbrainisprimedfor
challenge.Exposureto
summersunlighttriggers
yourpinealglandto
producemoreofthefearfightingneurotransmitter
serotoninthanatanyother
timeofyear.
Rule #3
A man derives great
satisfaction from group work.
If you’ve lost your social circle
since your high school days,
volunteer. As you work with
like-minded people,
friendships will naturally
unfold.
TEACH SPOT TO
PLAY DEAD
Anydogcansitoncommand
andprofferapaw.Butwill
yourbestfriendtakean
imaginarybulletforyou?
Teachanycaninetodo
exactlythatwiththismethod
fromveterinarianandanimal
behavioristSophiaYin,
DVM,authorofPerfect
Puppyin7Days.(Bonus:
Trainyourkittytokeelover
usingtheexactsamesteps!)
Trade the Treats
Forincentives,usenormal
dogfood,notsnacks(andnot
humanfood!).Dogtreatsare
typicallyhighincaloriesand
shouldnotmakeupmore
than10percentofadog’s
diet.
Move in Slow-Mo
First,instructthehoundtolie
downandstay.Thenslowly
moveasmallhandfulof
kibblebehindhisheadsohe
shiftshisweightontohis
side.Rewardhimandthen
graduallymoveyourhand
withthefoodfartherback;
whenhetipsontohisside,
immediatelypullyourtreat
handawayfromhimand
backtoyourbody.Ifheshifts
hisweightorstandsup,he
getsnokibble.
Pause for Effect
Onceyourdogiscalmly
restingonhisside,feedhim
ashisheadrestsonthefloor.
Littlebylittle,prolongthe
timebetweenrewardsby
pullingyourtreathandaway
fromhimbetweentreats.
Workuptoanintervalof10
seconds.
Ready, Aim . . .
Afterafewroundsoftraining
overthecourseofseveral
days,yourdogshouldstart
lyingonhissidewheneverhe
wantsasnack.Whenhe’s
abouttogodown,pointand
say.“Bang!”Afterrepeating
theroutineoverafewdays,
tryitusingthecommandto
seeifhe’llplaydeadoncue.
HAVE MORE FUN
ON A ROAD TRIP
1. Giveeachpersoninthe
caracountingtask:
roadkill,WaffleHouses,
speedingtruckers,
whatever.Firsttospot10
wins.
2. Havethekidsinthe
backseatscribble“Help!
Killerbeesareattacking
thiscar!”(orsomething
justasfrightening)ona
pieceofpaperandshowit
topassingdrivers.They
cansellitwithsome
frenziedswatting.
3. Firstpersontospota
horsepastureyells
“Horses!”andtallies
themupforhisorher
stable.Thenthefirst
persontospotagraveyard
yells“Buryyourhorses!”
andeveryoneelseloses
theirhorses.Ownerofthe
largestherdwins.No
farmsonyourroute?Play
bikerconvoysandstate
troopers.
PlayGuitarinan
Hour
Countlessrock,folk,and
countrysongsarebasedon
justthreechords.Learnto
strumG,C,andD,and
hundredsofsongsare
withinyourreach,
including“Knockin’on
Heaven’sDoor,”“Sweet
HomeAlabama,”“Can’t
YouSee,”“StirItUp,”
“TwistandShout,”“Wild
Thing,”“HangonSloopy,”
“FreeFallin’,”“BadMoon
Rising,”andmanymore.
HOST AN EPIC
POKER GAME
Runasmoother,smarter
tournamentatyourplaceand
makeeveryonefeellikea
highroller.
Stack the Deck
Shootforfivetoseven
players.That’senoughto
bringactiontoeveryhand
withoutbeingoverwhelming.
Andchooseabuy-inthat’s
highenoughtokeepthegame
interesting,butnotsohigh
thatitscarespeopleaway.
Between$20and$60isideal.
Stage like Vegas
Hostthegameinaprivate
room—notthelivingroomor
kitchen,wherethereare
distractions.Keepthelights
low,andforgothe
SportsCenterinthe
backgroundinfavorofsome
upbeatmusic.Ifplayersfeel
comfortable,they’llthrowin
morechipsandhavemore
fun.Hostingoften?Elevate
yourgameandpickupa
specializedtableat
custompokertables.com.
Name the Game
PlayTexasHold’em(for
rules,goto
pokertips.org/rules/texas.php).
Thebuy-inshouldgive
players40to60chips.Allow
rebuysonceafteranhourof
play(atthesamedollarvalue
ofthebuy-in),andupthe
blindsevery30minutesto
keepthegamemoving.An
applikePokerTimer(free,
iTunes)canhelpyoukeep
trackofthegame.
Maintain Focus
Distractionsmakeforsloppy
poker.Takedownclocksso
nooneworriesaboutthe
time.Stockasidetablewith
beerandsnacksanddistance
itabout15feetfromthe
pokertabletoprevent
mindlesseating.Discourage
cellphoneuse.
Bet on the Side
Considerrunninga7/2pool:
Guyswhowanttoparticipate
kickin$5each.Ifyouwina
handafterbeingdealta7and
a2(theworstduoyoucanget
inTexasHold’em),youwin
thepot.
HOW TO BUILD A
BACKYARD ICE
RINK
Leverageice-coldtempsto
constructaprivateskating
rinkonyourproperty.
(Penaltyboxnotincluded.)
WHATYOU’LLNEED
(EST.COST:$350)
•
Mason’sstring(atleast
160')
•
•
•
•
•
•
2024"rebar
1016'Douglasfir2x6s
61-foot2x6s
2lb2"deckscrews
2lb3"deckscrews
140'x100'spool4-mm
plasticliner
Scope Your Turf
Onaflatarea,measurea32×
48-footrectanglewithstring
andpoundapieceofrebar
about18inchesintothe
groundateachcorner.Clear
awayanyrocksorsticks.
Bracket the Rink
Runthefir2×6salongthe
insideofthestring,joining
themwiththe1-foot2×6s
and2-inchdeckscrews.
Secure the Corners
Ateachcorner,connectthe
boardswith3-inchdeck
screws—driveninatangles—
toformarectangle.Pound
rebaroutsideeachcornerso
thatallthecornersarebraced
bytwopiecesofrebar.Also,
placetwopiecesofrebarat
thejointsalongthelengthand
widthoftherink’sframe.
Lay Out a Liner
Plasticlinerwillcompress
yourgrasswithoutkillingit.
Covertheboxwithplastic
andpushdownattheedgesto
formareservoir.Nowtrim
theoutsidesotheplastic
overlapsyourrinkbracebya
footaroundtheperimeter.
Stapletheplastictothe
outsideoftheframe.
Fill ’Er Up
Fillyourrinkwith1to1½
inchesofwater.Letitfreeze
overnightandaddasecond
layerthenextday.Letthatsit
fortwonights.Fillingin
stageswillensureoptimal
results.Testtomakesurethe
iceissolidbeforeskating.
Smooth the Ice
KeeptheZamboniinthe
garage.Iftheiceisuneven,
spraywateronitandallowit
tofreeze.Newice!
3BestAlbumsfora
LongRoadTrip
1. CreedenceClearwater
Revival:GreenRiver
2. GeorgeHarrison:All
ThingsMustPass
3. Spiritualized:Ladies
andGentlemenWeAre
FloatinginSpace
Rule #4
Take the day off on your kid’s
birthday. And keep him or her
home from school. Tell your
child that turning 5 or 8 is a
real milestone and that you
want to spend the day with
him or her. Plan an event that
will be memorable.
SCARE THE
BEJESUS OUT OF
TRICK-ORTREATERS
Designamanorofmayhem
withtipsfromLeonard
Pickel,ownerof
Hauntrepreneurs,ahauntedhousedesignfirm.
Set a Scene
Aimforblood-pumping
scares(surprisesandstartles)
ratherthanbrain-scarring
terrors(goreandexecutions).
Fog Their View
Dryiceisdangerousand
dissipatesfast.Instead,renta
fogmachineorbuyaChauvet
1300(froggysfog.com),
whichblowsthroughice
cubes.Beforeusing,wetthe
groundtohelpthefoglinger.
Make Them Jump
Attachmotionsensors(trya
ParallaxPIRsensor:
parallax.com)toaleafblower
you’vehiddenunderabush,
ortoaspotlightthat
illuminatesamonster.
Take It Inside
Coveryourfoyerwithdark
curtainsandinstallablack
light.Whenkidsapproach,
turnofftheporchlights.
Openthedoorwearinga
whitecostume.You’llglow!
Send Them
Running
Haveabuddydressupandsit
inaporchchair.Hestaysstill
untilthekidsleavetheporch,
andthen...
LOOK LIKE HELL
ON HALLOWEEN
Createanauthentic-looking
bloodywoundlikethesickos
onthesetofSawVII.
Prep Your Face
Userubbingalcoholand
cottonballstoremovetheoils
fromyourfacesothemakeup
won’tslideoff.
Build Your Base
Rolladime-sizepieceofscar
wax(availableatpartystores)
intoa1½-inch-longcylinder,
minimum.Pressitontoyour
skin.It’lllookbestonabony
area,likeyourcheekbone,
brow,orforehead.
Control the Border
Dipthetipofyourfingerin
petroleumjellyandblendthe
wax’sedgesintoyourskin.
Don’toverspreadthewax;
leaveasmalllipforarealistic
texture.
Make the Cut
Useaplasticknifetoslicethe
middleofthewaxymound.
Foranincision-stylecut,
makeonestraightpass.For
animpactwound,make
jaggedcuts.
Color
Dabredcreammakeupover
thewound,blendingitinto
surroundingskin.Mixred
andbluemakeupandcolor
themiddleofthecuttocreate
depth.
Bloody It Up
Squeezestagebloodintothe
topofthecutsothatitdrips
downyourface.Concealany
exposedwaxyedgeswitha
dotofblood.Commence
moaning.
CONSTRUCT AN
EPIC LASTMINUTE COSTUME
Theonlythingscaryabout
store-boughtHalloween
costumesisthatyoumight
boresomeonetodeath.Then
there’stheriskof
mortificationifsomeone
showsupinthesameoutfit.
Instead,customizeyour
costumeonthecheapand
crankupyourevil-genius
mojobyharnessingyour
smartphoneortablet’sbuiltinghoulishpotential.It’ll
takeonlyafewminutesto
makeyourselflookasifyou
haveagapingchestwoundor
asifsomeoneblewahole
straightthroughyou.Fraser
Smeaton,theCEOof
MorphCostumes,istheDr.
Frankensteinofgadgetinspiredgore.Heturnsthese
creepyideasintoa
monstrouslygoodtime.
Materials
Scissors,plasticwrap,
maskingtape,ducttape,
whiteT-shirt
The One-Device
Option
Useafullychargedmobile
deviceloadedwiththefree
DigitalDudzcostumeapp
(AndroidandiOS).
The Two-Device
Option
Anytwosmartdeviceswith
Wi-Fiandfront-facing
cameraswilldo—for
example,twotabletsora
tabletplusasmartphone.
Create the SeeThrough Wound
1. Cutacirclethat’sslightly
smallerthanyourtablet’s
screenintothefrontofa
shirt.Cutasame-size
holeinthebackofthe
shirt.(Butifyoursecond
deviceisasmartphone,
makeitproportionately
smaller.)Fraytheholes’
edges,makingsurethe
front-facingcamerason
bothdevicescanseeout.
2. Linkthetwotabletswith
FaceTimeoranother
videochattingapp.
Whateverthebackdevice
broadcasts,thefront
screenwillshow.Zoom
intofixperspective.
Create the OpenCavity Wound
1. Usingyourtabletasa
measuringtemplate,cut
anXinthefrontofa
shirt;theXshouldbe
slightlysmallerthanthe
screen.Trimawayexcess
fabrictocreateacircle;
thiswillbetheviewing
hole.Maketheedgeslook
tornandragged.
2. SearchyourDigitalDudz
appsandclick“Flesh
iWound”tochoosethe
loopingvideothatplays
animationofabloody
beatingheart.It’sacloseupoftheorgan—
completewithB-movie
thrillermusic.
Secure the
Disguise
1. Tokeepyourdevice
protected,encaseitin
plasticwrap.
2. Usemaskingtapeto
securethewraptothe
backofthedevice.Next
cutfour6-inchstripsof
ducttape,andattachone
endofeachstriptothe
backofthewrapped
deviceinallfourcorners.
3. Placethetabletinsidethe
shirt—screencentered
andvisiblethroughthe
hole—andpressthefree
endsoftheducttapeto
thefabric.Aimfor2
inchesoftapeonthe
tabletand4ontheshirt.
*Ifyou’reusingtwodevices,
repeatthesestepswithyour
seconddeviceonthebackof
theshirt.
Add FX
Createyourowngoreby
sprinklingtheshirtandareas
aroundthe“wound,”orseethroughhole,withfake
blood.
THROW AN
OUTDOOR MOVIE
PARTY
Bringthebigscreentoyour
backyardwithhelpfrom
RandyFisk,founderof
backyardtheater.com,and
BobDeutsch,CEOof
OutdoorMovies.
1. Pick Your Player
LookforanHDprojector
withatleast2,000lumensof
brightness,DLPorLCD
display,andkeystone
correction.Welikethe
portableEpsonPowerLite
HomeCinema30101080P
3LCDProjector(epson.com).
Foronce-a-summer
screenings,rentarigfroma
partystoreorcamerashop.
2. Repurpose
Audio
Areceiverandportablesound
baroroldspeakerswill
provideampleaudioina
backyard.Placethespeakers
infrontofthecrowdforthe
bestsound.Addasubwoofer
foraction-packedfilmsanda
centerchannelforclearer
dialogue.
3. Hoist Your
Screen
Anylightsurfacethat’s
wrinkle-free,taut,and
unglossywilldisplayaclear
picture.Hangabedsheet
betweentwotreeswiththe
bottom3to4feetabovethe
ground.Orimpressthe
Joneseswiththe12-foot
AirblownInflatable
WidescreenDeluxeOutdoor
MovieScreen(target.com).
CARVE AN ICE
SCULPTURE
1. Block It
Buyasquare4-gallonbucket
fromahomestore
(lehmans.com).Fillitwith
distilledwater,whichwill
makeclearerice.Ifthebucket
istoobigforyourfreezer,
takeitoutside(weather
permitting).Thewatershould
freezein24to36hours.
2. Extract the Ice
Removethebucketfromthe
freezerandlettheicesitat
roomtemperatureuntilit
beginstomelt.Donapairof
cottonglovesandplaceawet
towelonalargetable.Slowly
slidetheblockontothetowel.
Stillsticking?Pourcool
waterontop.
3. Assemble Your
Tools
Sketchanoutlineontheice
usingmagicink
(icecrafters.com);thisisthe
choiceofprocarversbecause
itdoesn’trunandthecolor
fades.Ifyouneedto,usea
stencil.Workwithasmall
handsawordrilltocutoff
largerchunksoftheblock.
Project #1: Star
Fityourdrillwithaquarterinchbitthat’satleast5
incheslong.Stencilastaron
thesideoftheblock.Atone
ofthestar’spoints,plunge
thedrillhalfaninchintothe
ice.Repeatalongthestencil
line,makingholesatregular
intervals.Witheachpassof
thedrill,gohalfaninch
deeper,stoppingoccasionally
towipethebit.
Project #2: Lantern
Usetapwaterthistime;
lanternslookbestwithcloudy
ice.Eightto10hoursinto
freezing,theblockwillform
itsfrozenshell.Takeit
outside,drillaholeinitsside,
andpourthewateroutofits
interior.Thenbringthe
hollowed-outblockindoors
andcarveaholebigenough
toslideinasmalltealightor
LED.
PADDLE A
DRAGON BOAT
Datingbackmorethan2,000
yearstoancientChina,
dragonboatracinghas
elementsofbothcrewand
canoeing.Racesusually
rangefrom250to1,000
meters,withseasonedcrews
crankingout70to80strokes
perminute—noeasyfeat
whenyou’repropellinga
dragon-headedcraftwithan
oversizepaddlethatturns
eachpullintoastrengthand
aerobicfitnesschallenge.Join
aclubandgiveitashot,but
firstknowwhatyou’llbe
gettingintobyattendinga
race.Twoofthetopevents
aretheOklahomaRegatta
FestivalinOklahomaCity
andthePhiladelphia
InternationalDragonBoat
Festival,bothheldinthefall.
HOW TO HIGHTAIL
IT OUTTA TOWN
Roundupyouradventurous
buddiesandorganizeaheartpounding,snag-freetripwith
thisadvicefromShannon
Stowell,presidentofthe
AdventureTravelTrade
Association.
Save the Date
E-mailyourfriendsatleast6
weeksinadvancesothey
havetimetocleartheir
schedules.Pickageneral
focus(skiinginVermont),
butsuggestsomeoptions
(Stowe,Stratton)to
encouragecollaboration.Give
everyoneaweek,max,to
agree.
Stuff the Itinerary
UsePathWranglerorTripIt
forTeams(tripit.com/teams)
toprepareyourbudget,plans,
andtransportation.Theselink
tosocialmediatools,soyou
canalsosharephotosduring
thetrip.
Cash Out
Asyouplan,askyourfriends
tochipinonmajorexpenses,
suchasthehotelandrental
car.Thencreateaslushfund
andhaveeveryonethrowin
anequalamountofdoughto
covermiscellaneouscosts
likegasandbeer.Ifcashis
leftover,divvyituponthe
wayhome.Ormakeitthe
purseforwhoevercollectsthe
mostbugbites,bruises,or
unreadworke-mails.
Circle the Wagons
Onthedayof,addyour
buddiestoagrouptext.If
you’reventuringoffthegrid,
bringamobiletracking
device,liketheSpotSatellite
GPSMessenger
(findmespot.com),toalert
emergencyservicesofyour
locationifyouneedto.Agree
onarendezvouspointincase
yousplitupandcellservice
isspotty.
Rule #5
Mondays are easier if you
spent the weekend on a
mountain or a river.
DIG A LEGIT
HORSESHOE PIT
Prepthepit,practiceyour
ringers—andthenbeatall
yourbuddies.Here’sthe
how-tofromJerryLaBrosse,
vicepresidentoftheNational
HorseshoePitchers
Association.
WHATYOU’LLNEED
•
Eight2×4s(four6',four
8')
•
16nails/woodscrews
(16dsize)
•
8woodstakes(1×2×
12")
•
20cementpatioblocks
(18×18×3")
•
1⁄2cubicyardmason
sand
•
2steelstakes(1"
diameter,3'long)
•
•
21-gallonbuckets
1bagmortarmix
Build the Frames
Nailthe2×4sintotwo6×8footrectangularframes.
Theseframeswillhouseyour
sand,creatingthepitsyou’ll
tossthehorseshoesinto.
Shape the Base
Placetheframes34feetapart
fromfronttofront.(The
centerpointswillmeasure40
feetapart.)Hammerawood
stakeintotheinsidecorners
ofeachframetosecurethe
framesinplace.
Anchor the Stakes
Setfivepatioblocksalong
thelengthofeachframe.Fill
thebucketswithwetmortar
andinsertasteelstakeinto
eachbucket.Asthemortaris
setting,digholesinthepits’
centersdeepenoughfor15
inchesofstaketosurface.
Bury the Buckets
Dropinthebuckets,aiming
thetwostakestowardeach
otherat12degrees.Add
enoughsandsothatthe
surfaceislevelwiththe
groundand8inchesofstake
sticksout.Gameon!
THROW RINGERS
Goodbalancehelps
horseshoesflytrue.Stagger
yourfeet,dominantfoot
forward,about6inchesapart,
placingtheweightonyour
frontfootandpointingyour
toestowardthestakeforaim.
Keepingyoureyesfixedon
thestake,takeonestep
forwardwhenyoupitchto
addcontrol.
Fact:
Roughly4,200meninthe
UnitedStatesarepropelled
totheERforfirecrackerrelatedinjurieseachyearin
theweeksaroundJuly
Fourth.
SHOOT A TIMELAPSE MOVIE
Sendslow-movingscenes
intooverdrive—andrakein
theYouTubeviews.
Choose Your
Subject
Tryscenesthatunfold
graduallyandshowclear
progression,suchasbuilding
aLegokitorwatchingan
arenafill.
Gear Up
Youreasiestoptionistouse
aniPhonewiththe
iTimeLapseProapp(iTunes)
oranAndroiddevicewith
TimeLapse!.Youcanalso
useadigitalSLR,suchas
GoProHERO2,3,or4.If
yourcamerahasnointervalshootingoption,buyan
intervalometer.TryDigital
TimerRemote
(aliexpress.com).
Set Up
Optimalplaybacktimeis
between8and10seconds
with240photos.Tryto
predicthowshadowsand
peoplewillmovethroughout
theshootsoyou’renotleft
withdarkoremptyscenes.
Forfast-movingsubjects,
adjusttheintervalto1second
betweenshots.Forslower
ones,try6seconds.Manually
lockthefocusonthescene
andlet’errip.
Make Your Movie
Thesmartphoneappscan
createthemoviesforyou,or
importyoursequencesinto
QuickTime7Pro,which
offerstheeasiesttime-lapse
function.Forsmoothmotion,
use30framespersecond;
thenusevideo-editing
softwaretoaddmusicand
effects.
SERVE UP
PERFECT
WATERMELON
DECIPHER
RIPENESS
Checkthecolor,saysMarcel
Vigneron,starofMarcel’s
QuantumKitchenonSyFy.
“Themelonshouldbedark
greenwithayellowarea
whereitsatontheground.If
thatareaiswhite,thenthe
melonhasn’tmatured.”And
giveitarapwithyour
knuckles.Ifyouhearaloud
thudandthemelonfeels
heavy,it’sripe.
SLICE WITH
PRECISION
Usealargechef’sknifetolop
offthetopandbottomofthe
watermelonsoitsitsflaton
yourcuttingboard.That’s
saferthantryingtocutitasa
wobblywhole.Nowslicethe
melonintowedges.Oryou
canremovetherindwitha
smallerknifeandthencutthe
fleshintocubes.
SERVE
Vigneronservescubesof
watermelon(drizzledwith
oliveoilandsprinkledwith
seasalt)alongwithcherry
tomatoesonatoothpick.“It
soundsweird,buttheacidity
ofthetomatoandthe
sweetnessofthewatermelon
goreallywelltogether,”he
says.Ortryasideof
watermelonwithporkbelly
orduck—thesweetness
contrastsnicelywithfat.
Rule #6
Never drive on the beach
without first letting some air
out of your tires and bringing
a shovel.
HOW TO EARN
YOUR WINGS
Saveabout15grandon
pilot’slicenseinstructionand
taketotheskieswitharadiocontrolled,prop-drivenmodel
airplane.Juststayoutof
thosetrees,Mav...
1. Avoid Toy-Store
Junk
Choosealightweight,hobby-
grade,foam-builtmodelthat
willbounceandresist
breakingifithitstheground.
Weliketheprebuilt
HobbyZoneChampRTF
(horizonhobby.com).
2. Start Off Hot
Taketurnstaxiing—use
pavementorlowgrassas
yourrunway—anddoing
someshorthopstogetused
tothecontrols.Whenyou
takeoff(orhand-launch,if
yourplaneissmallenough),
startatfullthrottleintothe
wind.(Altitudeismostlya
functionofmotorspeed.)
3. Go High
Stayatleast100feetup—aka
“twoorthreemistakeshigh.”
Setyourthrottleatabouttwothirds(nottoofast)anddon’t
pitchtheairplane’snoseup
withoutaddingpower—or
you’llstall.
4. Flip Your Brain
Whentheplaneiscoming
towardyou,thecontrolsfeel
reversed—movingyourstick
leftwillsendthebirdright.
Soifitstartstobankwhile
comingatyou,movethestick
towardthedroppingwing,as
ifyouwereproppingitup.
5. Fly a Pattern
Don’tflyrandomly.Havea
plan.Tryarectangle:Flyout,
counttofive,andturnright.
Thendoatwocountand
makeanother90-degreeturn.
Repeatuntilyouhavethe
patterndown.
6. Bring It Home
Lineuponyourrunway,
reducepower,andkeepthe
noselevelorangleddowna
fewdegrees.Whenyou’re
justafootofftheground,
leveloffandslideontoyour
strip.Nowlethertry.
Source:GerryYarish,flightinstructor
andseniortechnicaleditoratModel
AirplaneNews
TURN AN EMPTY
BEER BOTTLE
INTO PARTY
GLASSWARE
WARNING:ThisDIY
projectinvolvessharpedges,
breakingglass,andfire(wear
safetyglasses).Butifyou’re
careful,itcouldalsoinvolve
fun.
STEP1.Pickabrandwith
asturdybutattractive
bottle.(TryGrolschorLucky
Beer.Corona’salsogood,
becausethebottleis
especiallythick).Tieastring
tightlyaroundtheempty
bottlejustabovethelabel.
STEP2.Slipthestringoff
andsoakitinlighterfluid.
(Keepyourfingersdry!)
STEP3.Putthestringback
onthebottleandlightit.
Holdthebottlehorizontally
androtateitsotheflame
spreads.Waittohearthe
bottlecrackslightly,about10
seconds.
STEP4.Pourcoldwateron
thestring.Thetopofthe
bottlewillfalloff.
STEP5.Sandpaperthe
edgesuntilsmooth.
SHRED THE
TERRAIN PARK
Tearitupwithsnowboarding
tipsfromScottyLago,2010
Olympicbronzemedalistin
thehalf-pipe.
1. Grease a Butter
Box
Thislong,elevated,
rectangularfeatureinterrain
parksisagoodplacefor
beginnerstoworkonnew
tricks.Beforeyoureachthe
ramp,positionyourboard
nose-first.Typicallyyou’ll
slideontothetopofthebox
withouthavingtojump.Keep
yourfeetplantedflatonthe
boardandresisttheurgeto
turnontheslicktop.Wait
untilyourboardiscompletely
offtheboxbeforeyoustart
carvingsnowagain.
2. Catch Some Air
Ajumpiseasierthanitlooks.
Beforeyourinitialattempt,
hangbackandwatchafew
experiencedriderslaunch.If
possible,askoneofthemif
youcantrailhimorheroff
yourfirstjump.Stayasafe
distancebehind,andmirror
theperson’sspeedand
motions.Don’toverthinkthe
landing;justlettheweightof
theboardhelpyouhitthe
snowwithyourkneesbent
andbodycentered.
3. Be a Wingman
Chancesareyouwon’tbethe
onlygreenhorninthepark.If
youseesomeonecrashand
“yardsale”(that’sslangfor
whenarider’sgoggles,hat,
andglovesflyoff),blockthe
topofthejumporrailand
signaltotheridersaboveto
waituntilthefallenrideris
outofharm’sway.You’llbe
savingafellowriderfrom
beingcrushed—andthat’s
goodkarma,man.
4. Blend In
Whenyou’repracticinga
trickthefirstfewtimes,avoid
anyhigh-trafficareas.That
wayifyoutakeatumble,
you’relesslikelytobring
downanotherrider.Don’t
standnearthestartorthe
landingofajump,therail,or
thebox.You’llholdupother
ridersand,worse,put
yourselfatriskofgetting
whacked.
5. Spin Out
Thebackside180(below)is
oneoftheeasierandflashier
tricks,saysLago.Approacha
jumpridingyourtoe-side
edge.Atthelipofthejump,
popoffandforcefullyturn
yourheadandshoulders
backward;therestofyour
bodywillfollow.Lookdown
asyourotateintheair,and
onceyoucanspotthe
landing,keepyoureyeonit
topreventoverspinning.Land
naturally.
HONE YOUR
FRISBEE
ACCURACY
First off, ditch the cheap
discs.They’reoftentoo
rigid,small,andlightweight
forstableflight.(They’realso
toughertogrip.)Lookfora
larger-diameterdiscmade
fromsofterplastic,likethe
10.5-inch,160-gramDiscraft
Sky-Styler160.
Use your whole body.To
makesureoneofyouisn’t
alwayschasingdiscstossed
aroundbybriskheadwinds,
throwacrossthebreezeto
yourpartner.Anddon’trely
onyourarmforalltheoomph
—yourpowerandaccuracy
willsuffer.Instead,inone
fluidmotion,drawyourarm
acrossyourbodyandtoward
youroppositeshoulder.Then
swingyourarmbackinthe
oppositedirection,allowing
yourweighttoshiftfrom
yourbackfoottoyourfront
foottoaddpowertothe
throw.Whenyourarmis
almostfullyextended,release
thediscwithaflickofyour
wrist,toaddspinand
distance.
CRASH A HOTEL
POOL
Pulloffacaperthatwould
maketheEntouragecrew
proud,andgiveyourgalan
afternoontoremember.Our
craftyinsider:TobyShuster,
aLosAngelessocialmedia
managerandlifelongpool
crasher.
Choose Your Target
Visitauser-reviewsitelike
Yelpandlookforafamilyfriendlyspot.
“Thestaffwillbeworried
aboutkidsrunningaround—
notyou,”Shustersays.“Plus,
theydon’texpectcrashersat
family-friendlyluxury
hotels.”Thatsaid,avoid
youth-orientedhotspots—
they’reonthewatchforfolks
likeyou.Andconsiderbad
reviewsagoodthing:“If
someonesaysthestaffisn’t
helpful,that’syourcuetogo
—employeesarelesslikelyto
care,”shesays.
Time Your Crash
Goaround3p.m.,whenit’s
neithertoobusynoraghost
town.Butdon’tbringyour
ownbeachtowels—that’sa
deadgiveaway.They’llhave
towelsthere.Andlook
confident:Nohotelemployee
willwanttofalselyaccusea
guestofcrashing.Ifyouare
confronted,simplysay,
“We’revisitingafriend.I
don’trememberhisroom
number.”Iftheydon’tbuyit,
justleave.It’snotlikethey’re
goingtowaterboardyou.
CLIMB ON BOARD
FourWaystoEnjoyaWet
andWildRide
Stand-Up
Paddleboarding
“Thefirsttimeyoutrystanduppaddleboarding,you’ll
feelitinyourabs,yourlats,
yourarches—everywhere.
Sportslikesurfingrequire
waves,wind.Stand-up
paddleboardingrequiresonly
aboard,apaddle,andwater.
It’stheclosestyou’llever
cometowalkingonwater.
Andlet’sfaceit:Everybody
wantstowalkonwater.”
—LairdHamilton,surf
legendconsideredthepioneer
ofstand-uppaddleboarding
RookieMistake:Lettingyour
armsdoallthework.“You
needtoengageyour
abdominals,”sayspro
paddleboarderSeanPoynter.
Keepyourarmsextendedand
bendyourelbowsslightly,
andwitheachstroke,rotateat
yourtorsotogeneratemore
power.
YourFirstMove:Avoidthe
wind.Toomanyfirst-timers
thinkstronggustswillhelp.
Theywon’t.“Abeginnercan
besweptawaybywindand
strongcurrents,”saysConnor
Baxter,aformerworld
championpaddleboarder.
Findaflat,calmareawithas
littlewindaspossible;work
withaninstructortolearnthe
basictechniquesandensure
youcanswimbacktoshore
pullingyourboardbehind
you.
Surf Kayaking
“It’shardtodescribethe
feelingyougetfromsurfinga
bigwave.Forme,it’sabout
thepursuitofperfection.It
takestraining,experience,
andanunderstandingofthe
ocean.Whenyoudoitright,
it’simmenselyrewarding,
andthat’safeelingyoujust
don’tunderstanduntilyou’ve
hada40-footwavetowering
overyourhead.”
—TaoBerman,formerworld
championkayakerandthreetimeworldrecordholder
RookieMistake:Nervously
suckinginyourbreath.
“That’sthelastthingyou
wanttodo,andIseepeople
doitallthetimewhenthey
feelintimidated,”Berman
says.“You’llneedmore
oxygeninyourlungsifyou
gettakenout,sofocuson
stayingrelaxedandbreathing
normally.”
YourFirstMove:Focuson
fit.“Thekayak’ssizeis
importantforperformance
andcomfort,”saysinstructor
BenLawry,ownerofKayak
Camp.Considerstartingwith
aninternational-classkayak.
It’slongerandfaster,andit
picksupmorewaves.Then
askaroundabouttide
forecastsandreefspots.You
don’twanttohitcoralinlow
tide.
Wakeboarding
“There’sarhythmtothesport
—asortofpendulumeffect,
almostlikeadance—thatyou
don’tgetfromotherwater
sports.There’ssomething
aboutthemomenttheengine
roars—10,000poundsof
weightpullingawayallat
once.Thewaterdisplaces,
youhitthewakeandstandup
sidewise,anditalljustclicks
forthefirsttime.”
—ShaunMurray,three-time
worldchampionwakeboarder
RookieMistake:Tryingto
standtooearly.“Lettheboat
pullyououtofthewater,”
saysTarahMikacich,a
professionalwakeboarderand
coachatOrlando’sFreedom
WakePark.“Relax,
straightenyourarms,and
bendyourlegsasmuchas
possible.It’scounterintuitive,
butstayballedupandletthe
boatdothework.”Andask
thedrivertopullyouup
slowly—hammeringthe
throttlewon’thelp.
YourFirstMove:Once
you’reonthewakeboard,
don’tfacetheboat.Instead,
alignyourhipsandshoulders
withthelengthoftheboard.
“That’llsaveyoufromalot
ofhardfalls,”Mikacichsays.
Andaskthedrivertofollow
thesamelineasotherboats—
it’sproperetiquette,andit’ll
cutdownonthewavesyou’ll
encounter.
Kiteboarding
“It’stheultimateextreme
sport.Youcandoitanywhere
—flatwater,waves,snow,
dirt,ice,lightwinds,strong
winds.Therearenofuel
costs,nolifttickets,no
membershipdues.Youcan
jumphigherthansome
buildingsandtravelfaster
thanmostspeedlimits,all
whileusingnothingbutwind
andhumanpower.That’s
purefreedom.”
—RobDouglas,professional
sailorandkitesurferwhohas
heldtheworldspeed-sailing
record
RookieMistake:Tryingto
outmusclethekite.Control
requiresalighttouch:“It’s
moreliketypingthanatugof-war,”saysKarenLang,an
instructoratAquaSports
MauiKiteboardingSchool.
“Whenthekitepulls
forcefully,peopletendto
holdontighter,whichmakes
thekitegatherevenmore
force.Instead,letgoofthe
barandthekitewillflutter
downharmlessly.”
YourFirstMove:Take
lessons.Butdon’tsettlefor
anyteacher.“Makesurethe
instructoriscertifiedbythe
InternationalKiteboarding
Organizationandthatyou’ll
befollowedinachaseboator
atleastajetski,”Douglas
says.Ifyou’rehurt,fatigued,
orstranded,theinstructorcan
help.Douglasalso
recommendsusingahighqualitykite,suchasonemade
byCabrinha.Mostcostmore
than$1,500,butadayrental
runs$100to$150.
Rule #7
Book a
Houseboat Hotel
Some houseboats sleep more
than a dozen people, making
them great for bachelor
parties or family reunions.
Don’t let the size intimidate
you: Learning to operate a
houseboat is relatively easy,
says Ellen Hopkins of
Discover Boating, a boating
advocacy nonprofit. The folks
at the rental shop will show
you how. Great houseboating
waters to explore: Lake Powell
has almost 2,000 miles of
scenic shoreline, mostly in
Utah; also try Lake of the
Ozarks, Missouri; Shasta
Lake, California; Captiva
Island, Florida.
ANSWER KEY FOR
“A FISH FINDER”
Freshwater Fish
a.Northernpike
b.Browntrout
c.Walleye
d.Pickerel
e.Channelcatfish
f.Rainbowtrout
g.Smallmouthbass
h.Brooktrout
i.Crappie
j.Bluegill
k.Largemouthbass
l.Perch
m.Muskellunge
Saltwater Fish
n.Pompanoorjack
o.Tuna
p.Bluefish
q.Seabass
r.Tarpon
s.Billfish
t.Reddrum
u.Weakfish
v.Stripedbass
Thanksto
EveryoneIn
theTrenches
Manyuncommonlyclever
andcreativepeople
contributedtothewisdomin
thisbook.Wearegratefulto
allthosereporters,writers,
editors,fact-checkers,interns,
photographers,illustrators,
designers,andphotoandart
directorswhotoiledinthe
trenchesatMen’sHealth
magazinetobringthese
usefultips,tools,and
strategiestoreadersinthe
hopesofmakinggoodmen
evenbettermen.Hereare
someofthem:
EricAdams,LilaBattis,
MattBean,NicoleBeland,
MarkBricklin,BrianBoye,
DenisBoyles,Steve
Calechman,AdamCampbell,
SaraCann,ClintCarter,
JaclynColletti,BenCourt,
MikeDarling,Kevin
Donahue,MichaelEaster,
JennyEverett,JillFanislaw,
JasonFeifer,BJGaddour,
RonGeraci,LeisaGoins,
MattGoulding,Jeanne
Graves,GregGutfeld,Mark
Haddad,MadelineHaller,
JimmytheBartender,Lisa
Jones,GeorgeKarabotsos,
DonKinsella,JoeKita,Paul
Kita,RadnorLaw,Anna
Maltby,NickMarino,Matt
Marion,TomMcGrath,
JenniferMessimer,John
McCarthy,PeterMoore,
ThomasO’Quinn,Ben
Paynter,StevePerrine,
NaomiPiercey,BillPhillips,
EricRinehimer,Laura
Roberson,JoeRodriguez,
AmyRushlow,Michael
Schnaidt,LouSchuler,Carol
AnnShaheen,TedSpiker,
GreggStebben,JulieStewart,
BillStieg,TrevorThieme,
JimThornton,KyleWestern,
MikeZimmerman,andDavid
Zinczenko.
Weowemuchgratitudeto
ourtalenteddesignerJoanna
Williams,whobuiltthis
jigsawpuzzleofamazing
pagestobepleasingtothe
eyeandfuntoread.Also,
manythanksgotothose
unsungheroesontheRodale
Booksproductionteam:Sean
Sabo,ChrisKrogermeier,
SaraCox,JeffBatzli,Carol
Angstadt,BrookeMyers,
KeithBiery,PatBurton,
WendyHessGable,Shannon
Mushock,GayleDiehl,and
JodiSchaffer.
TheBoyScout-ybadges
onthecoverofthisbook
werecreatedbyTheDemerit
BadgeCompany.Youcan
ordertheseandotherfun
patchesatdemeritwear.com.
Thisbookisintendedasareference
volumeonly,notasamedicalmanual.
Theinformationgivenhereisdesigned
tohelpyoumakeinformeddecisions
aboutyourhealth.Itisnotintendedasa
substituteforanytreatmentthatmay
havebeenprescribedbyyourdoctor.If
yoususpectthatyouhaveamedical
problem,weurgeyoutoseek
competentmedicalhelp.
Theinformationinthisbookismeantto
supplement,notreplace,proper
exercisetraining.Allformsofexercise
posesomeinherentrisks.Theeditors
andpublisheradvisereaderstotakefull
responsibilityfortheirsafetyandknow
theirlimits.Beforepracticingthe
exercisesinthisbook,besurethatyour
equipmentiswell-maintained,anddo
nottakerisksbeyondyourlevelof
experience,aptitude,training,and
fitness.Theexerciseanddietary
programsinthisbookarenotintended
asasubstituteforanyexerciseroutine
ordietaryregimenthatmayhavebeen
prescribedbyyourdoctor.Aswithall
exerciseanddietaryprograms,you
shouldgetyourdoctor’sapproval
beforebeginning.
SexandValuesatRodale
Webelievethatanactiveandhealthy
sexlife,basedonmutualconsentand
respectbetweenpartners,isan
importantcomponentofphysicaland
mentalwell-being.Wealsorespectthat
sexisaprivatematterandthateach
personhasadifferentopinionofwhat
sexualpracticesorlevelsofdiscourse
areappropriate.Rodaleiscommittedto
offeringresponsible,practicaladvice
aboutsexualmatters,supportedby
accreditedprofessionalsandlegitimate
scientificresearch.Ourgoal—forsex
andallothertopics—istopublish
informationthatempowerspeople’s
lives.
Mentionofspecificcompanies,
organizations,orauthoritiesinthis
bookdoesnotimplyendorsementby
theauthororpublisher,nordoes
mentionofspecificcompanies,
organizations,orauthoritiesimplythat
theyendorsethisbook,itsauthor,orthe
publisher.Internetaddressesand
telephonenumbersgiveninthisbook
wereaccurateatthetimeitwentto
press.
©2015byRodaleInc.
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