SBC Newsletter Dec 2014
Annie’s Christmas Tree
Sorrento
Bowling Club
Christmas
Newsletter
I started my life in “Lenas Wholesale Nursery” and when I reached my 5th year I was
bought for shade by Annie who lived close to the ocean. This was not a good choice as
when I reached fence high I was salt blasted. Finally my owner realised (as much as
she loved me) that I was in strife so I was transferred to the Sorrento Bowling Club.
Since then I have not looked back and am now quite big and strong and
love watching the bowls, I am your Himalayan ash (Fraxinus griffithii) and
I am very excited as this year I have been chosen as your Christmas Tree.
I do hope I can live up to your expectations but treat me gently as I want to stay at
the Sorrento Bowling Club for many years to come. Please don’t chop me down!
To all our Club members – A Happy Christmas and a great New Year.
Number 59
December
2014
Some notes from your Editors
– Neville and Denise Odell
If you would like to comment or contribute to our newsletter please contact
Denise or Neville on 9309 3108 or e-mail us at
[email protected]
W
elcome to our Christmas 2014 Newsletter. Denise and I would like to take this
opportunity to wish all our readers a very Happy Christmas and a great New Year.
We hope that 2015 will be a good year for all our bowlers, croquet player, darts players,
cricketers, footballers, netballers, singers. golfers and social members.
Brickbats, bouquets, corrections and clarifications
We received some very favourable and positive comments about our last newsletter.
Members like the new more compact and professionally printed format. Thanks again to
Brian Self whose generosity has helped cover the extra cost.
In an attempt to standardise on nomenclature we did however upset the Ladies Captain,
Sharon Eggers, by making a change from ‘Ladies’ to ‘Women’ in the last newsletter before
she had presented this proposed change to her Committee. Apologies! The intention was
never to replace the word ‘ladies’ in every one of its uses around our Club. Some uses
of the word ‘ladies ....’ are currently dictated by our Constitution and cannot be changed
without a change to the Constitution. There are many situations where the use of the word
‘ladies’ is far more appropriate than the word ‘women’.
We also upset John Collishaw (an ex proof-reader when he was still in the Police) for
spelling Fremantle with two “e’s”. Please
note that there is a place in Australia called
Sonia’s Rule of Thumb
“Freemantle”! It is in NSW (postal code 2795)
near Bathurst. How were two ignorant ex South
If it has tyres or testicles you’re
Africans to know that this was not where Stan
going to have trouble with it!
McCullagh did his transporting? Our proofreader (Denise) also managed to fail in her
Sign in Women’s Restroom
duties when she missed the fact that we had
Dicks Last Resort – Dallas Texas
mis-spelt Graeme Whitehorn’s name. Denise
has offered to resign but her letter of resignation has been rejected by Management.
We have been trying very hard to not mis-spell members names and we will have to pay
more attention to the spelling of place names. We now have an assistant proof-reader Jan
Paniperis. Jan has offered to help Denise with the proof-reading so hopefully we will get
almost everything right in future.
We have unfortunately had some complaints from contributors who were upset that we
altered their articles. One contributor did not like the fact that we had used a photo and
funny caption to illustrate their work and another did not like the way we had altered
the paragraphs. As mentioned previously we do reserve the right to edit and/or embellish
contributions. Sometimes this is to make sure the article fits the page and sometimes to
prevent repetition. If you really don’t want me to make any changes or additions please
advise and we will try and meet your wishes.
Annie’s Christmas Tree
You will have noticed that Annie Taylor’s Himalayan tree has been decorated and is now
known as Annie’s Christmas Tree! Thanks to Wayne Gray who kindly donated the solar
powered lights and to John Warner, Trevor and Anne Orton and Ray Stapledon who help
decorate it without damaging Ray’s seedlings around the base.
Some more “Did your Hear” and “Did your Know” Stories
Did you know that lots of sex is the secret to a happy retirement? Well, it’s certainly true that
sexually active retirees tend to be happier, says Bettina Arndt, an Australian sex therapist.
It can even beat a game of bowls (or croquet) for hearty exercise, depending upon your
level of enthusiasm. In a survey of 239 married people, 60 per cent of married folk who
had sex more than once a month were “very happy” with their life in general, compared
with just 40 per cent of those who had not had sex for more than a year. That doesn’t mean
couples who prefer to read a book or have a good night’s sleep were miserable with each
other – 59 per cent who reported no sexual activity in the last 12 months still said they were
happily married.
Did you know that
• the tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only
one end?
• the song, Auld Lang Syne, is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the New
Year?
• avocados have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per hundred grams?
• the moon moves about two inches away from the Earth each year?
• the Earth gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust?
Did you know that even opposing Skippers can be very motivational? After a very competitive and closely contested games of bowls between a strong Osborne Park team (Ian
Player, Daniel Adams, Robbie Lawrence and George Smith) and a Sorrento team (Bob
Mulroy, Wayne Gray, Peter Snow and Tom Nasuti) , the opposition Skipper, Ian Player,
called the Sorrento team together and congratulated them on how well they had played.
His final comment was that if the Sorrento team was left together for Pennants they would
be very difficult to beat! Isn’t it great to hear this sort of motivational approach to our
great game of bowls!
Thanks to Judith Skeet for this lovely Christmas quotation about “Inner Peace”.
Did you know that in her youth Shelley Jeffs was a star hockey player? She played goalie
for her State team and did so well she received a special award. When standing up to accept
the award she thanked her coach for “encouraging her to always keep her legs together”!
(Apparently very important for a hockey goalie!!)
Did you hear that Johnny Warner got a hole in one? This happened at the Misstree Golf
Course 12 miles out of Broome? The golf course got its name as the fairways are covered
in trees. His drive was beautiful to look at as it powered down hole 6, bounced off a tree
and plopped into the hole. He had the audacity to accept a certificate from the director of
golf but the adoring GREY NOMADS praised Johnny Warner to the hilt!
Did you see the terrific Humpback whale photo
Kevin and Kath Harris took on their holiday in
Exmouth filmed from their boat at Exmouth this
year? The whale was estimated to weigh between
15 and 25 tons and to be about 12 metres long and
only about 20 metres from the boat.
Did you know that Australia has 8222 islands and the three largest are Tasmania, Melville
Island and Kangaroo Island? When discussing our proposed visit to Kangaroo Island
Russell Lockwood wanted to know what we expected to see there and was surprised when
we told him kangaroos!!
Did you know that our ladies are invited to attend around 36 gala days (also known as
“Galah” days) each season? These are held on a Friday and are the main fund-raiser
organised by the ladies of each club. So if you want to enter get a team together.
Did you hear that the Glenroy Bowls Club coach will kick off the new year by playing
almost non-stop from 6am on 1 January to 6pm on 3 January, and along the way hopes to
raise $12,000 for the National Breast Cancer Foundation. With charity in his heart and “lots
of coffee” in his veins, lawn bowler Brian Richards will stand and deliver for 60 hours to
benefit a cause.
“Bowlers are the loveliest
people you would meet in
the world. I think that both
young and elderly people
should take up bowls.”
– Anon
Did you hear that Maureen and Ray Green celebrated
their 51st Wedding Anniversary in August? Well done to
you both! Congratulations also to May and Bill Leyland
who celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary in
August!
Did you know that Russ and Jenni Lockwood recently
returned from a South African holiday to the good news that they are to become first time
grandparents? Jenni had nearly given up hope of ever being a grandmother when eldest
daughter Jodie and her husband Peter announced that the baby is due sometime in April.
Did you know that Fran Bracknell, Pauline Bourne, Jan Cook and Wendy Saul won the
Gingin Classic a couple of weekends ago? Well done Ladies!
Did you know that seven of our ladies took part in the State Over 60’s Singles competition
recently? This is probably the biggest representation from any club. Pauline Marsden did
very well, making it through to the last 16. Well done Pauline!
Did you know that Bob Jeffs started sailing when he was ten years old? He progressed to
16ft skiffs and in 1968 came third in the Australian Championships at Lake Macquarie.
Did you know that Spider Webb has a 103 year old drinking buddy – Arthur
Hibbert? When interviewed on his recent birthday Arthur was asked what
the secret was to get to such a great age. He replied:
“I have always tried to be with people younger than myself. Now days
there are not many older than myself”. Arthur gave up lawn bowls when
he turned 90 but still manages to visit the pub five times a week!
Did you know that even our first division bowlers do the occasional ‘wrong bias’? John
Brown claims it “was only to prove he was human”.
Did you hear about the mysterious disappearance of Saulie’s jersey? It was gone for two
weeks and then suddenly re-appeared in a plastic bag hanging on the door of his locker!
Did you hear that Jimmy Welsh “welshed” on his bet with Foxie? The bet was that if Foxie
ever played in a Club Mixed Competition Jimmy would come to bowls in a bikini! Your
Editor was there with his camera but Jimmy failed to show up!
Did you hear that Trevor Orton turned 60 recently? Oh to be so young
again! At a gathering of family and friends his charming wife Ann
and his sons Cameron and Robin spoke
about Trevor and what a good father he has
Some
been!!
More than $1300 was raised for Guide
Dogs in lieu of gifts. Trevor tells us that it
can cost up to $35000 to raise and train a
guide dog.
more “Did
you hear
stories?”
Occasional Flowers
Flowers are the God-send of Nature
And although it may sound absurd,
A flower can convey the right message,
Whenever we’re stuck for a word.
All through our life we use flowers,
To guide us and help smooth the way,
If we’ve made a mistake and we’re sorry,
What better than – ‘send a bouquet’?
The birth of a child is rewarded
With flowers of a colourful hue,
There’s pink for a cute little lady,
And a little boys colour is blue.
And flowers are the language of ‘lovers’,
A gift from the Heavens above,
A lovely red rose – on bended knee,
Is a sure silent sign of ‘true love’.
‘Saint Valentines’ is a time for flowers,
And ‘Mother’s Day’ – flowers galore,
No need for words of fancy phrase,
The flowers show the Love – and more.
A Wedding Day scene is fully complete,
With the Bride and the Groom side by side,
And the beauty of flowers in the Bridal Bouquet,
Can only be matched by the Bride.
A flower is the symbol on Anzac Day,
When a Poppys laid quietly, and blessed,
It’s a heart-felt token for thousands of men,
Who now lay so quietly – at rest.
When words seem to fail us in times of need,
When words lack the fervour and power,
Our thoughts are displayed in a meaningful way,
With the gift of a beautiful Flower.
– Grahame “Skew Wiff” Watt
Did you hear that one of our long-standing members has bought a jeep? He was picking it
up on a Friday so his Pennant team mates conned him into taking his new car for a test run
to Thornlie. Ron Rogers tells us that on the Saturday the manager advised that it would
take 45 minutes to get to Thornlie so everyone trundled into the car-park. Everyone was
advised that the new jeep had only 52 km on the clock. The proud owner produced the key
from his pocket and proceeded to try and open the tail gate with his remote. The remote
would not work, the key would not fit. He was trying to get into a Nissan. His jeep was
next to it!!!
Some other bits and pieces
You may remember that almost 5 years ago, Pauline and Tony Bourne’s son, Simon, was
badly injured in a swimming pool accident which resulted in him being paralysed from the
chest down. During this time he has displayed amazing strength and fortitude and proudly
remains the Course Superintendent at Cottesloe Golf Club. This club recently held the
W.A. Open. Saturday storms severely damaged the course, but with amazing support
from his crew, Simon worked through till 11pm on this night and then were back at 3.30am
the next day to provide an outstanding course. This shows what can be done with a strong
will and the help of family, friends and workmates.
If you are looking for an interesting clock go to: http://www.poodwaddle.com/Stats/.
This is really worth a look and we thank Mike Berecry for this link.
Finally a special thank you to Moira Dean, Annie and John Taylor, Ray Stapledon and all
the other members who have contributed to this Christmas newsletter.
– Neville Odell
President’s Report
C
ompliments of the season from my wife
Wilma and me to all members and their
families. May you all enjoy Christmas and
have continued good health in the New Year.
As you are all aware your Club now has lights
on four greens. The challenge now is to get the
best use from them, both from a member usage
and financial gain from outside hire.
A committee has been formed to be chaired by Life Member and Past President, Ian
Marshall. This committee will look at ways of achieving these aims. Some of the ideas
suggested are:• Mates Night: An evening that members could invite a friend who is not a bowls member to play pairs.
• Father Daughter / Mother Son Night.
• Factions: An inter-club completion
We also intend to advertise greens hire to the public. Your Club invites any member who
can contribute to our ideas or is willing to help in any way to contact Ian or myself.
Brian Lucas has been appointed Chairman of the Bar. Thanks Brian we know you will do
a great job.
My personal thanks go to Ron Taylor who has decided that the work load of Bar Chairman
and Assistant Treasurer was a bit much. Ron’s workload and effort has been outstanding
and the Club is very thankful for his dedication.
– Barry Bradshaw
Vice President’s Report
F
irstly, I would like to advise all members that as from 16 November I have to resign
my position as Function Director and Marketing, due to work commitments. I have
enjoyed my years in this position and we have had some fantastic entertainment. I would
like to thank all the ladies who helped me in the past for their fantastic support. Please
support the new committee and attend their functions. These are organised for you!
Well done to all the volunteers for their efforts and the grounds are first class. You will be
advised of any new functions that will be coming up. Thanks again to all those who have
supported our Club’s activities.
– Greg Day
Men’s Captain’s Report
T
he 2014/2015 Pennant Season and Club Championships are well under way. We have
had some mixed results so far. There is still a long way to go and hopefully the teams that
are under achieving will rise to the occasion in the middle and latter half of the season.
A and B greens should be in play soon, this will give the green staff an opportunity to work
on C and D greens.
The Sorrento Masters are on at the end of November, it should be a great event. Steve
Glasson has nominated to play. Again thanks go out to Ian Wittber for co-ordinating this
event.
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Also I would like to say thank you to Steve Draper for his contribution to the selection
panel over the past few seasons. Steve has decided to have a spell from selection and
playing. Knowing Steve, I don’t think it will be too long before he is back on the greens.
(plus we have an oversupply of “Crownies” in the cool room).
Graeme Whitehorn has retired from his coaching duties. Graeme has been an invaluable
member of the coaching panel. Graeme has been involved with coaching for over 20 years
and his experience and commitment will be sorely missed. I personally thank Graeme
and wish him all the best. Congratulation to Ray Stapledon in attaining his Coaching
Certificate from Bowls W.A. Well done Ray!
“Practise, Practise, Practise”
T
Ladies Captain’s Report
– ABBA
he bowling season for 2014-15 is now well under way and I would like to congratulate
our women bowlers on a generally terrific start to the Pennant season. I hope your
successes continue and that everyone stays in good health and great spirits.
Bearing in mind that the end of 2014 is not far away, I would like to remind everyone that
two of our big annual events are approaching and will be upon us before we know it. The
first is our Ladies Gala Day on Friday, 9 January, 2015. This is a big fund-raising day for
us and we look forward to 2015’s event being as successful as past ones. Anyone who has
wine, jewellery, plants, fictional books, CDs, DVDs and jigsaw puzzles to donate for our
raffles and stalls, please contact the Club or one of the organisers.
Our second big event is our prestigious Ladies Invitation Fours, sponsored by Trevors’
Carpets, which will be held on Friday, 13 February, 2015. Last year we had a great turn
out of Division 1 teams from all over the State. We received many compliments on the
event being so generously sponsored, well-organised, entertaining and challenging as
teams played 3 games against quality opposition.
I would like to extend a huge thank you to my Management Committee, who are doing
a fantastic job and who are supporting me so ably. My congratulations go also to our
Ladies Match and Selection Committees who have those aspects of our section running so
smoothly and so professionally, particularly in the face of challenges, new and old. Well
done, girls!
Christmas and New Year are not too far away, so I would like to extend my wishes to all
for a wonderful festive period and hope that you enjoy the break over Christmas and New
Year with your families and friends. All too soon we will be into 2015.
– Sharon Eggers
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12
I
Vale
n this newsletter we say farewell to two lovely ladies who bowled in our Club for approximately 15 and 10 years respectively. They are:
BEA MEAKINS August 1915 – October 2014
A multi talented lady who planned what she wanted right to the end. We thought she would
make that magic number, but obviously that was not in her “Plan”!
MARGARET MCINTOSH June 1934-October 2014
A quiet unassuming gentle lady who enjoyed being in company and it showed with her
smile, demeanour and general pleasure of being with people she liked!
– Annie Taylor
Men’s Selector’s Report
A
fter two rounds on a Thursday the Club
has four unbeaten teams they being 1
Blue, 4 Blue, 4 Gold and 5 Blue 1, with
4 Gold having achieved the maximum 12
points. All nine teams have produced some
good performances.
After three rounds on a Saturday the club has
only one unbeaten side that being 4 Gold 2.
They are currently 2nd on the ladder with 4
Gold 1 being 3rd and I’m sure there is going to be a great ongoing rivalry between
the teams. There have been many other good performances on both days which will be
highlighted below in the “Pot Winners” section.
Special mention of Mick Martin’s rink in 1 White who have recorded very good wins in
the last two rounds. Our 1 White side has struggled so far against some very good opposition but are showing signs of better performances to
come.
Congratulations to the following pot winners.
Thursday: Round 1: John Sturk, Ron Burroughs,
Derek Smith and Tony Pilgrim. Won by 30 shots.
Round 2: Ron Rogers, Shane Loftus, Bruce Eagles
and Steve Mortimer. Won by 18 shots.
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Saturday: Round 1: Noel Summers, Murray Newman,
Frank Lilley and Rick Munt. Won by 19 shots. Round 2: Ron Taylor, Tony Pilgrim, Alan
Taylor and Derry Ellis. Won by 30 shots. Round 3 Bob Mulroy, Alan Anderson, John
Collishaw and Brad Williams. Won by 30 shots.
– Rob Tozer
Ladies Selector’s Report
I
am pleased to report we had a really good start to the season. After our third game these
are the ladder results: 1 White 2nd, 1 Green 1st, 2 Green 8th, 3 Green 3rd and 4 Green
4th.
Most of our teams seem quite happy and getting used to playing with each other. We will
try not to change the teams, unless necessary. Unfortunately we had ten ladies away or
sick last week. Fortunately fourth division had a bye; otherwise we would not have been
able to fill the teams. We have four players out for the whole season; hopefully we will not
have that many away at one time again.
We have so many good bowlers in each division, if all goes well every division has a good
chance of being promoted up a division. If we can all support our team members, it really
helps if someone is having a bad day. Not many people can bowl perfectly every week, if
someone is telling you are not doing well that makes you feel worse. Remember it might
be your turn next week to have a bad day, so please encourage your team-mates.
Please talk to your Manager or come in to see Selection on Thursday at 9.30am, if you
have any problems.
Graham and Coral are at the club on Mondays at 2.30pm to do training. Anyone is welcome
to come; they set things out to practice different shots you might have to do. It does help
to practice different shots that may arise, if you are in that situation you might remember
what to do.
Keep up the good work and keep enjoying yourselves.
– Kath Harris
Opening Day: 14 September 2014
W
e were blessed with absolutely spectacular weather for the annual Opening Day
activities on Sunday 14 September 2014. It had been decided to adhere to the same
format as last year’s very successful day, with members meeting for morning tea at 10.30am,
followed by the official proceedings of speeches by dignitaries Tony Krsticevic and Mike
Norman and the blessing of the greens by our Chaplain, Bruce Eagles.
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The symbolic first rolling of a bowl and striking of a croquet mallet were performed by our
visiting dignitaries and then the customary photo of all attendees was taken on the banks
of E green.
A fabulous lunch of salads and cold meats plus dessert was provided by our wonderful
Silver Fern Caterers – thank you very much to Trish and Ross Cunningham for serving
such beautiful food and so appropriate for those of us who played the two games of bowls
that followed lunch.
Two games of 11 ends were played by mixed teams of men and women who were again
playing for the new Des Bennett Memorial Trophy which was last year won by the Men’s
Captain’s side. There was a lot of laughter, cheering and a fair amount of groaning as well
as the matches progressed.
At the end of the afternoon, Trevor Orton and Coral Smith tallied the results of all of the
games and it soon became apparent that the teams playing for the Ladies Captain’s side
had had the greater number of wins – 16 games to 8. Yahoooo!!!!
However, the scoring was to be decided on shots up and due to a very large win by each of
two of the teams representing the Men’s Captain’s side, the Men’s Captain’s side prevailed
to win the trophy by just ONE single shot – how close was that!!!!! How wonderful to have
such an even competition and close result. Thank you to everyone who played – hopefully
you really enjoyed your two games.
I would like to say thank you very much to all of you who attended our annual Opening
Day. It was so wonderful to see so many of you there to celebrate the start to our new
playing season.
I would like to thank some people who helped with the organisation of the day – I really
appreciated everything that was done to help – no matter how small:
• Frank Lilley for organising the visiting dignitaries .
• John Abercrombie as my co-organiser and table arranger for the day.
• Coral Smith for helping to select the teams and writing out the cards – a big job.
• Ken Giles for also helping to choose the teams.
• Men’s and Women’s Match Committee members who helped with the running of the games.
• Marie Smart who collected the money and checked attendance.
• Bruce Eagles for his blessing of the greens. Hopefully it will enable all our bowls to
perform as we want them to.
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16
Group photo: Opening Day Sunday 14 September 2014
Some “Opening Day” Photos
John Abercrombie welcoming guests and members
Above and below: Mike Norman
Councillor for the SW Ward, City of
Joondalup addressing our members and
trying his hand at bowls
Above and below:
Tony Krsticevic showing his
skills at both lawn bowls and
croquet
Our Bowls
Captains:
Sharon Eggers
and John
Abercrombie
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• Joan Whitham and anyone who helped her look after the morning tea side– great job as usual.
• Silver Fern Catering for providing a beautiful, delicious lunch in such a professional
way.
• The green-keepers and their helpers who prepared the greens on the day.
• Neville Odell for acting most professionally as club photographer once more.
• Paul and the bar staff for organising the champagne and drinks for lunch and for collecting money from those of you who paid before the day.
I hope everyone enjoyed the day - I most certainly did. I congratulate the Men’s Captain’s
Side on their win of our new Des Bennett Memorial Trophy .
Finally I would like to wish everyone a wonderfully enjoyable, fulfilling and successful
bowling season which is now under way and look forward to seeing all of you at the club
often.
– Sharon Eggers
The Annual Blessing of Our Greens
O
ur Club runs well because a range of elected leaders and volunteers keep their eye
on things.
We have the Executive – for overall direction, the Treasurer – for financial health, our
Selectors – for teams and form, the Bar staff – for making sure we don’t run out of beer,
the Greens committee – for health and growth of the grass and our Coaches – for skill
development of our members. And the list goes on.... (If only President Bradshaw would
keep his eye on line and length we would win this year’s Club Pairs!!)
Take your eye off an area of responsibility and our Club suffers. Let me connect the idea of
keeping your eye on things and our annual blessing. Our physical eyes are so positioned in
our head that it’s natural (for the eyes) to either look down or look straight ahead. “When
asking / offering a blessing we do the unnatural (for some people) by lifting our eyes to the
Lord, who is above and beyond.”
“We lift our eyes to The Lord. Where does our help come from. Our help comes from The
Lord the maker of heaven and earth” - Psalms. The idea of looking upwards and beyond is
what a blessing is all about.
“We lift our hearts and minds and eyes to you the Giver of life to all. We thank you for the
blessing of knowing your love and for giving us a place and community like this to enjoy
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and participate in. We ask for your blessing on each member and their family and for those
going through particular struggles we ask for added blessing.
As this new season of bowls and croquet commences will you bless our Club with enjoyment and success. We thank you for our delightful surroundings and in particular we ask
for favourable conditions thus allowing our greens to flourish and serve us well.
For those who have recently joined us may they feel the warmth of our welcome and for
those who have left us we ask you to go with them. Loving God hear this our prayer of
blessing offered with thanksgiving.
Amen”
Where are your Glasses ?
– Bruce Eagles
Y
esterday my daughter e-mailed me again, asking
why I didn’t do something useful with my time.
“Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a
good thing?” I asked.
Talking about my “doing-something-useful” seems to be
her favourite topic of conversation.
She was “only thinking of me”, she said and suggested
that I go down to the Senior Centre and hang out with the guys. I did this and when I got
home last night, I decided to play a prank on her. I e-mailed her and told her that I had
joined a Parachute Club. She replied, “Are you nuts? You are 78 years old and now you’re
going to start jumping out of aeroplanes?”
I told her that I even got a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her. She immediately
telephoned me and yelled, “Good grief, where are your glasses?! This is a Membership to
a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club.”
“Oh man, I’m in trouble again,” I said, “I really don’t know what to do. I signed up for
five jumps a week!!” The line went quiet and her friend picked up the phone and said that
my daughter had fainted.
Life as a Senior Citizen is not getting any easier, but sometimes it can be fun.
– Thanks to Ian Wittber for this story
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Umpires Corner: Laws and Etiquette of Bowls
A
ll bowlers who play in competitive events, including Pennants, should be conversant
with the Laws of the Game as well as points of etiquette. While some of the points of
etiquette are not covered by the Laws, and as such cannot be referred to the Umpire, there
are many that are and can be referred if they can’t be resolved by the Skips.
One issue involving etiquette that causes more concern than most relates to possession of
the rink and positioning of players.
Law 35.1 states that ‘Possession of the rink belongs to the player or team whose bowl is
being played while Law 35.2 states that ‘As soon as each bowl comes to rest, possession
of the rink will transfer to the opposing player or team, after allowing time for marking a
toucher’.
The following laws are also relevant to possession of the rink:
Law 36.1.1 – Players at the mat end of the rink who are not delivering a bowl should stand
at least 1 metre behind the mat. Note: This Law together with Law 35.1 requires that
players should not start to change ends until the last of the Third’s bowls has come to rest
or the last Third has started walking.
Law 36.1.2 - Players at the head end of the rink and who are not controlling play should
stand:
• behind the jack if they are members of the team which is in possession of the rink;
• behind the jack and away from the head if they are members of the team which is not in
possession of the rink;
• on the surrounds of the green if the jack is in the ditch; and
• well clear of the head if it is not possible to stand on the surrounds.
Also a player should not go into a neighbouring rink where play is in progress (Law
36.2.1) or go into or walk along a neighbouring rink not in use while an opponent is about
to or in the process of delivering a bowl (Law 36.2.2).
Hot Hints from Heardie
I
– Jim Ironside
n this newsletter we will discuss the most important person in the team, the third. Thirds,
like the Seconds, should be able to play every shot in the game. The Third needs the
skill to draw to vacant spaces giving the Skipper control. These shots are sometimes more
20
important than drawing close bowls to the jack.
As a Third, support the front line players, get the best out of them, give them confidence.
These are the players that will take the pressure off you and the Skipper. Like the Second,
don’t pre-empt what shot you think the Skipper will call and don’t try and talk the Skipper
into allowing you to play a shot which looks good from the mat end.
Have good communications and confidence in the Skipper. Know and understand his
game and the shots he calls. If you have been called to the head because there are a number
of options available to you, select with your Skipper, the best one which suits your team,
your rink and your side. Make up your mind before leaving the head. Return to the mat
and play the shot. Forget all the other options available. Your chances of gaining a result
have now improved. As a Third, you are the director of the head when the Skipper is on
the mat.
Learn the rules and how to measure. Remember you are only in control when the opposing Skipper’s bowl has come to rest. It is your call and time to give feedback information
if required. Be aware of the game and games next to you to protect your head, especially
from drives. After each completed end give firm indications to your Skipper as to the
result of the end.
– Graeme Heard
Life Membership Awarded to Ian Marshall
A
t the Club’s Half Yearly General Meeting held on 19 January 2014 Brian Lucas presented Ian Marshall with life membership of the Sorrento Bowling Club.
Ian joined the Club in 2003 after moving from Port
Hedland. Since joining Sorrento, Ian has played in
the Club’s Pennant competition on Thursdays and
Saturdays, primarily as a Skipper.
Upon joining the Club Ian quickly became involved
with our Club and its operations. He is the longest
serving President, occupying the position for six
years from 2005/6 through to 2010/11. He was also
Deputy President in 2011/12 before retiring to focus on his role in R.S.L. Bowls.
Over a number of years Ian has been a strong contributor to our community bowls as well
as assisting Ian Wittber with the Masters Singles. He is instrumental in arranging the Port
Hedland bowls carnival.
21
Ian has represented the Club on Bowls W.A. committees since 2011 and continues to do
so, on their Match Committee. He is an active member of the Darts division of the Club
helping with the management of the mixed Tuesday night side. Possessing an R.S.A.
Certificate, he is often seen working behind the bar or assisting in the kitchen.
In accepting the award Ian said that he was truly surprised with the nomination and thanked
all those who had supported him in receiving this honour. He said that, given that he is a
life member of the Port Hedland Bowling Club, this award is the icing on the cake.
– Brian Lucas
Men’s Match Committee Report
A
t time of going to print, no club championships have been completed. The finalists
for the mixed pairs have been decided, with Coral Smith and Mick Martin to play Lee
Leach and Ron Rogers on a date to be agreed. A big field of 35 pairs entered this event,
with the inevitable last-minute pairing changes that customise this event. But all went
well, the weather held, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.
The Mixed fours continuation has been delayed and re-scheduled due to rain, and will
continue on Sunday 23 November. We are down to the semi-final matches in this event.
The Men’s triples started on Sunday 9 November, with a field of 20 teams entered.
There will be a full report on these events in the next newsletter
– Trevor Orton
Ladies Match Committee Report
W
e were delighted with the response for the Divorced Pairs with almost double the
entrants over what we’ve had in previous years. It was great to see 76 smiling and
happy faces eagerly waiting to go out and bowl. The 1st round saw Betty Stern and John
Godfrey declared the winners with 19 shots up. Well done to both Betty and John.
During the lunch break, we lost several players to illness or injury and the draw was rejigged to accommodate these changes. I must at this stage thank Stan McCullagh who was
without a partner to continue, but to his credit Stan volunteered to cook the sausage sizzle
for the after match celebrations. Thanks again Stan for this great gesture.
The afternoon session – well this was the complete opposite to the morning – the strong
winds hit the greens with force and players had trouble keeping upright at times. But still,
our stealthy bowlers soldiered on under these trying conditions and all kept on smiling
22
and enjoying themselves. The 2nd round was won by Stan van Mosseveld and Coral Smith
with 10 shots up. Two teams actually finished with 10 shots up each, but on a count back
of aggregate (both the same) and then ends up, the result was that Stan and Coral were the
winners with 9 ends up as compared to 8 ends up. Well done to Stan and Coral.
The 2014 overall winners of the Divorced Pairs were Jim
Ironside and Sylvia McLaughlan with an impressive 2 wins
and 29 shots up. Considering the conditions in the afternoon,
that is a great achievement. Well done to Jim and Sylvia!
2nd place went to Brian Saul and Sharon Eggers (25 shots up)
followed in 3rd place by Bruce Eagles and Trish Cunningham
(20 shots up). Better luck next year to you all.
Overall most people had a most enjoyable day of bowling
which was followed by a well received sausage sizzle. The Match Committee looks forward to seeing you all again next year!
Once again the Women’s 100 Up has proved to be very popular with 30 players registering
to play. The weather this year was a big improvement on last year with fine conditions and
little wind for both days.
Day one started with 14 games followed by one game in the alignment round. This was
followed by the second round being played before the lunch break. The afternoon round
of elimination saw eight women left in the competition to play again on 15 October. The
women that made it to the semi-finals were, in the Major event Pauline Bourne, Lee Leach,
Nerrida Porteous and Jan Cook. In the Plate were Nelly Heard, Wendy Saul, Moira Dean
and Liz Marshall.
The two finalists who made it through to the Major event were Pauline Bourne and Lee
Leach and the Plate was between Liz Marshall and Wendy Saul. The winner of the Major
event was Pauline Bourne with a great display of bowling. Congratulations go to Pauline
for winning this event. Well done Lee Leach for making the final of the Major – maybe
next year Lee.
The Plate saw Wendy Saul and Liz Marshall both play some terrific bowls but in the end it
was Wendy who came away as the winner. Well done to Wendy and Liz for a great effort
from both of you. Unfortunately there can only be one winner.
The Ladies’ Match Committee would once again like to thank the Umpires and Markers
who all gave of their time so willingly to enable this competition to run so smoothly.
– Helen Ironside
23
Thinking of Turning Professional
D
id you hear that Ron Rogers entered himself in the Mt. Lawley Consistency Singles,
as well as team in the Nedlands-Dalkeith Spring Carnival to be played the following
weekend. He probably thought he would be eliminated in the first round!
However, Ron did so well in the Mt. Lawley event that he had to find a substitute for the
Sunday of the two-day Nedlands carnival. Trevor Orton was asked to fill in. Ron’s team
of Tiger Hogan, Colin Cramond and Brian Self performed superbly on the (very) warm
but windy Saturday, winning all three matches and were +44 shots – and clear leaders after
day one.
But the Sunday was very different weather-wise – stormy and wet. The first of two matches
got under way on time under ominous skies, but after only two ends the rain forced the
players off the green. And there they stayed.
After an early lunch, the remainder of the Carnival was called off, leaving Ron’s team as
the overall winners. First prize was $2,000 so for the four bowls Trevor bowled – one of
which knocked an opponent’s bowl in for another shot - he earned $125. On this basis, 42
bowls in a 21-end match would have earned him $5,250. A very enticing sum indeed. If
only all tournaments were that easy to win!
Note: Ron Rogers ended up in the last 16 of the Mt. Lawley Consistency Singles where
he lost to C.Margin 124-96. Well done Ron. It’s great to see Sorrento bowlers doing well
in State events.
– Neville Odell
Croquet Corner News
Captain’s Comments (Judith Skeet)
All members of the Croquet Club extend sincere sympathy to the families of Dorothy
Bavin and Bill Rowley who died recently. Dorothy played croquet regularly until just a
couple of weeks before she died. We will honour her memory through the annual presen24
tation of a perpetual trophy in her name. The Croquet Committee has decided to postpone
its annual Trophy Presentation from the Christmas Lunch function to coincide with the
Bowls Section’s Trophy Night.
A ‘Have-a-Go’ Day was held on Wednesday 12 November during Seniors Week at Burswood
Park. Sorrento was again the main organizer of this part of the event, and has the support
of the W.A.C.A.
Golf Croquet Championships
The doubles competition was held on Friday 19 September and included several new players. Trish Klemp, partnered by new member Robin Rowe, won every game to claim
the championship. Terry Harvey partnered by another new member, June Huckle, were
worthy runners-up.
The singles was held on Friday 17 October with entries from a wide cross-section of
members. Trish Klemp eventually triumphed 7 – 6 over a very determined Odette Moro,
who had recently returned from a fairly long absence due to injury.
Croquet Section Social Scene
With no snow on the ground or frost in the air, croquet club members joined in the
‘Christmas in July’ evening on Friday 25 July. This was combined with the celebration of
‘special’ birthdays for three Croquet Club members – Charlene Crute, Trish Klemp and
Terry Harvey, maintaining a long-standing croquet club tradition. A traditional Christmas
Dinner, accompanied by great musical entertainment and dancing, made for a wonderful
evening that was enjoyed by all.
2014 Pennants
Sorrento has entered two teams into the Pennants Competitions this year – one in ‘B’
Grade and the other in ‘C’ Grade. The competition started on 30 October and will run for
six weeks. The ‘B’ team played at home under the new lights for the first match and were
narrowly beaten six games to four. The ‘C’ team played at Nedlands Croquet Club and
although they tied in a game count five-all; they won by nine hoops in a count back.
“Would I lie to you?” – Sling us a line!
Most of you know that Judith Skeet, our Croquet Captain, has been seen around for the
past few weeks with her arm in a sling; and has been asked many times “what happened?”
Two stories of explanation have been received from ‘those in the know’. You decide
which story tells the truth or are they both lies?
The first story entails a hose pipe, Judith’s gardening, and a few glasses of ‘red’. Somehow
a combination of these factors resulted in torn tendons needing surgery, and torn pride
needing understanding!
25
The second story is more detailed and goes like this: One day Judith
decided that she would go out onto the green on her own and practice jump shots. It didn’t take long for her to realise that each time
she was attempting a shot, one of our friendly local Kookaburras
would start laughing from the shed roof. Judith looked up and
asked if he could keep his laughter to a minimum as she was trying
to concentrate; but the Kookaburra replied that her jump shots were
the funniest things he had seen all season.
“Do you realise that I am the Club Captain, so I suggest that you
show me some respect.” said Judith. “Well, I am a national symbol
for Australia and can laugh at whom so ever, and whenever, I want to.” came back the
reply. Judith started to lose patience with what she thought was a very rude little bird;
so picked up a gum-nut and threw it at the Kookaburra to move it on – but missed!. The
Kookaburra starting laughing again, saying “After that pitch, it’s a good thing you don’t
play bowls, you could end up on the wrong green.”
Judith stormed to the back of the shed, picked up a brick, came back to the front and threw
it at the bird. Not only did she miss again, but this time she tore several tendons in her
shoulder doing so for which she needed surgery and thus has had her arm in a sling for
weeks!
– Diana Mcgivern
Greens and Grounds
Although the greens have not been to the standard we would desire things are happening
on this front and by the time this goes to print we will have “B” back in action and “A”
either back or very close to being ready. As there is likely to be renovations to the others
that we have utilised heavily for the most part of this year our need to preserve the greens
will still continue and cause some restrictions to how each of the greens are utilised. We
will continue to allocate greens as we need to so treatment and usage will be gauged and
by doing this we trust any green that is taken out for renovation will return quicker and
increase our availability of greens. Although it has
been slow we are moving forward and look forward
to our greens being in good shape for the latter half
of the season.
26
You will have noticed that the garden edges have
been put in place and the gardens rearranged to improve these areas. Our thanks go to the hard work of
Ken Vercoe, (photo of him hard at work alongside),
Mike Thornett, Ray Green and other members of
our Thumbs Up Club. Also to Ken and Jan Hollick thank you for donating the Magnolias
and the pots – they do improve the veranda.
The bitumen has been put in place near “B” green staircase and for some very hard work
in removing unwanted soil and grass our thanks go to Al Walton and two of his employees
who did a great job in removing that material in a very short time, well done fellows.
– Kevin Cook
Bowls Performance Sub-committee
T
he Development Group wound up on 4 October. Two novelty games of spider were
played to complete the six-month course. The closest to the centre cone received a
complimentary roast, kindly donated by Ross and Trish Cunningham. Winners were Phil
Bilich and Trevor Orton.
Positive results are being reported by the course participants. So much so that it does give
encouragement to the conducting of something similar next year.
Congratulations go to the participants for their dedication over the six-month period. A
huge vote of thanks go to those who assisted in running the course each month, it’s what
makes it possible.
– Brian Clausen
Sunday Scroungers Final
A
nother successful Winter Scroungers season drew to an exciting conclusion on Sunday
31 August. Over the 15 week season 20 scroungers gathered on “E” green for a
morning of fierce competition, hilarity, jovial banter, gastronomic delights, an occasional
shandy and great company.
In all only two days were marred by inclement weather conditions but even then attendances were positive. The season itself threw up many highlights including:
• Peter Balcombe leading the way with three winning weekends.
• Pauline Marsden’s continual refusal to play in the correct order of draw.
• Alan Bishop smashing last year’s fines record held by Dave Bradley.
• The wonderful Joe Cocker impersonations by Jan Paniperis.
• Alan Susta’s claims to the record number of penalty points received on a
single shot - $3 / 3 points.
Nine of the twenty bowlers qualified for the final on the last day of August and in glorious
sunny conditions the competition between them was hot to say the least. The fun side
27
Continued on page 30
January
February
March
April
“Long Fox
Linford”
“Dead-eyed
Rick
“Silver Bullet
Godfrey”
July
“Spider
Cassidy”
August
“Colorado
Cal”
“Cincinatti
Chris”
“Wild Bill
Highcock’
“Maverick
Marshall”
September
October
November
December
“Ron
Wayne”
“Dakota
Dave”
“Blazing
Barman”
May
28
“Davy Crockett
Lucas”
June
Our Tops and Tails Cowboy Calendar Competition
Would you like to enter Moira Dean’s Christmas Competition? All you need to do to win
a bottle of ‘Paul’s best Red’ is to identify from these back views who is:
Our January Cowboy:
Our February Cowboy:
A
B
C
D
Our March Cowboy:
Our April Cowboy:
Our May Cowboy:
Our June Cowboy:
Our July Cowboy:
Our August Cowboy:
F
E
G
Our Sept. Cowboy:
H
Our October Cowboy:
Our November Cowboy:
Our December Cowboy:
J
I
29
K
L
Make your selection on a
separate piece of paper. Just
write “A”, “B”, “C” etc. next
to each month and pass your
entry onto Neville or Denise
Odell together with your
name and contact number.
Note from your Editor: The
dangly baubles hanging
down are Moira’s Christmas
decorations. Will they be
re-usable?
Continued from page 29
of Scroungers was placed on hold whilst all players focused on the possibility of being
awarded the coveted Sorrento Scrounger of the Year trophy.
The winners of the three qualifying finals
were Judy Campbell, Ron Kuziela and Peter
Balcombe and they went on to meet in a highly competitive four end final. Ron (12 shots)
proved too strong on the day and claimed the
Scrounger of the Year trophy with Judy and
Peter (6 shots each) finishing equal runnersup. Congratulations to all three bowlers and
all those that made the final day of competition. Ron’s success saw him compete in the
King of Scroungers event at North Beach the
following Sunday where he finished runner
up in a field of 15. A commendable effort.
Sincere thanks to Judy Campbell and Alan Bishop for running the scroungers this year and
rumours are about that a summer weeknight scroungers is a possibility in January.
– Alan Bishop
Darts Report
H
opefully everybody has enjoyed this winter of darts. Congratulations to the Blue
Water A division who ended top of the ladder.
I would like to thank Ian Marshall for organising this years trip to Bruce rock, there is a lot
of work associated with organising such an event.
I would also like to congratulate the winners of the club events:
Club singles
Donald Botha
Runner up
Juris Lorencs
Singles plate Brian Lucas
Runner up
Ian Marshall
Doubles.
Wayne Gray, Kevin Cook
Runner up.
Juris Lorencs, Ian Marshall
Doubles plate. Brian Lucas, Jan Cook
Runner up.
Bob Mulroy, Eddie Tassone
A special thanks to Bruce Cross whom was able to obtain a large sponsorship for the Dart
Club.
30
We also welcome our new members who are playing in the summer Blue Water dart season,
this is the first year that I am aware of that Sorrento Darts Club has competed in a summer
competition.
Remember the club wind-up is on Sunday 23 November starting at midday.
– Wayne Gray
H
“The Beautiful Season of Christmas”
ow many people do you know that have birthdays in September? A few – not surprising! In the United States of America, for instance, 16 September is the most popular
birthday, followed closely by 23 September. How come? Well, it’s all related to the beautiful season of Christmas. The average of 38 gestation weeks has September in the fullness
of summer season ripe and ready to fall and New Year’s Eve comes along with all its
mistletoe, romance and some stealing more than a kiss! So the sign of Virgo is truly
productive!!
People in our Club who are born under the sign are renowned for their care, giving, painful
in being ‘right’, always artistic, fussy and worrywarts. Do you recognise any of these traits
in the following members of our Club who are Virgos born between 23 August and 22
September and conceived in the ‘silly season’!!!
John Wright, Clive Webber, John Abercrombie, Ken Anderson, Peter Bird,
Elizabeth Boyce, Kathleen Brien, John Brown, Marjorie Clark, Richard Cook,
Margaret Cooper, Moira Dean, Steven Draper, Austin Duff, Sue Edwards,
Herbert Eisenmann, Graeme Glover, Wayne Gray, Katie Hetherington, Tiger
Hogan, Chris Hunt, Lorraine Hyde, Helen Kuziela, Rob Lees, Douglas Lorencs,
Pauline Marsden, Darren McAulay, Aileen McCabe, Chris McEwan, Chuck
McGivern, Joyce Michael, Graham Morgan, Odette Moro, Neville Odell, Ken
Partridge, Stan Prentice, Saskia Roosevelt, Brian Saul, Kuntesh Shah, George
Sjepcevich, Derek Smith, Fred Stimpson and Jimmy Welch.
“Tis the Season to be Jolly”
– Moira Dean
Reasons to visit our Club Website
1. It is your website at www.sorrentobowlingclub.com.au
2. Most websites are static, they do not change from month to month. Ours is different with an almost weekly change in the content.
3. It has all the information about up coming events. A complete calendar for the whole 31
Christmas Night is so Jolly
A Sage sat on a mountain high
Twisting his beard and wondering WHY???
The sign of Virgo was so plenty
Of offspring that was poor and Gentry.
On his fingers he did count,
This and that – to this amount….
Ahh – he began to understand
The “silly season” was the reason
38 weeks the average time
For a babe to come “on line”
Christmas Night it is so jolly
Rolling in the Christmas Holly,
And New Year’s Eve when “corks” are poppin’
The bubbly flowin’and whistles blowin’
He had the answer to his ponder
Shifted his bum and jumped on his Honda.
We all think we’re wonderful
We all think we’re smart
But, as we get a little older – It all seems to fall apart.
Are we who we think we are?
Are we really smart?
Hey think about it – right from the heart.
We’re different, hey, what used to matter, isn’t worth a fart,
It’s togetherness, a team, red, blue, black or green.
If you can’t get on with people
You won’t make a team.
Enjoy, laugh, be intense if you want
Bend, listen, applaud.
It’s a game, a game!
No one gives a stuff;
All that matters is you think ‘Your’ bowls are good enough
– Moira Dean
32
year showing all events (except Pennant fixtures).
4. It has a gallery of pictures, so you might be famous and not even know it.
5. Most web sites are designed and managed by people who have nothing to do with the organisation. Our site is managed by Club members and is interactive – Members can submit content for the site and you can make comments about the site by sending them to [email protected]
6. It will have up-to-date information for you to look at, the latest news and all Club Officials. So, if you need information about who to contact, then it is there for you.
7. There are links to other sites, such as Bowls W.A. for both the home page and the competitions Portal.
8. The site not only covers Bowls, there are sections for Croquet and Darts,
9. Our Sponsors are listed so if you need anything, look at our sponsors first.
It appears that a lot of members have not had the time or have not bothered to check the site
out. If you visit just the once and don’t like it, at least you have made an informed opinion.
If you do like it, I am sure you will be a regular visitor.
– Derek Smith
W.A. R.S.L. Bowls Section News
C
ongratulations to Brian Collins and Geoff Murray from Sorrento
on their selection in the W.A. State team for the up-coming
Carnival to be held in Perth. Brian and Geoff were part of a strong
contingent from Sorrento and other Clubs who trialled for selection.
Brent Marshall and Brad Williams were two others from Sorrento
who came close to selection.
Please check your programme for up coming events and if you do
not have a team you can still enter as a single entry and a place will be found by the event
organizers. Any queries please contact me, I think you know where to find me.
– Ian Marshall: State/National President R.S.L. Bowls
Global Facts About Sex
D
id you know that at any given moment:
FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex – right now.
FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.
FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
FACT: One old person is reading e-mails or this newsletter
You hang in there, sunshine!
33
– Thanks to Ray Stapledon for this useful information
Melbourne Cup 2014
Jean Middleditch, Moira Dean,
Pat Duffy and Carol Ford in
their lovely outfits
A
great day was had by all thanks to the organising skills of Moira Dean. The tables
and the Clubhouse were beautifully decorated and really looked great. There were
raffles, games, quiz sheets and Sylvia Mclaughlan played fifteen different tunes on the
piano which everyone had to identify.
The prize for the Best Dressed Lady was won by Jean Middleditch and the Best Dressed
Man prize was won by Keith Cooper. The prize for the Best Hat was won by Jenny
Gandras and second prize went to Carol Ford. The raffle was won by Mary Cressey. The
Jack Daniels competition to find who could get a dollar closest to the bottle was won by
a visitor, Ronald Bomford, brother of Frank Bomford. The prize for the ‘written’ quiz
and the ‘identify the tunes’ quiz was shared by the table from the Croquet Club and Clair
Hanlon’s table of bowlers.
– Denise Odell
A Bowls Joke
H
e decided to tie the knot with his long-time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his bowls shoes. His wife was standing there watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally speaks.
“Honey, I’ve been thinking, now that we are married I think it’s time you quit bowling.
Maybe you should sell your bowls.”
Jim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
“For a minute there, you were sounding like my ex-wife.”\
“Ex-wife!” she screams, “I didn’t know you were married before!”
“I wasn’t!”
– Thanks to my friend Brian Hills who sent me this story
34
Some of Our Volunteers
O
nce again we would like to acknowledge the efforts
and time our loyal volunteers have been putting in
at our Club. First many thanks to the ladies who organise
the sandwiches for Mens Pennants on Thursdays. We
are very grateful to Marilyn Baker, Nora Giles and Helen
O’Brien for their efforts. We would also like to thank
Joan Whitham, Del Cornwall, Wendy Stobie, Moira Dean,
Jean Baker, Emily Dunn, Jean Middleditch, Clair Hanlon,
Marie Smart and Liz Marshall for providing sandwiches
for Saturday Mens Pennants.
Some of our beautiful
flowers
The Thumbs Up volunteers, Ken Vercoe, Mike Thornett, Ray Stapledon and Ray Green
have been busy, as usual, in the gardens plus helping with odd jobs around the greens etc.
Alan Wood, Brad Williams, John Sturk, Bill Long, Frank Bomford, Tony Bourne, Roger
Haber and Dick Merton have recently put up the shade cloth and sails. Alan’s new method
is making this job much easier now.
What would we do without our two guys, Brian Saul (welding jobs) and John Sturk who
is always fixing doors, door locks, putting up shelving and for the great job on decking by
the Barbecue. Thank you both so much.
You will notice all the hand rails coming in the main entrance, score boards, benches and
shade cloth frames have recently been painted. These jobs were mainly done by Frank
Gandras. Thanks, Frank!
Just recently Management decided to remove a section of lawn in front of Clubhouse
and replace it with ten metres of bitumen. The lawn was removed in a few hours due to
the efforts of Alan Walton and two of his workmates, S. McDonald and J. Turner. Many
thanks!
Our greens are starting to shape up now. Green’s Staff have been busy with the help of
Derry Ellis and Barry Stewart. Well done!
We also need to thank Bill Long, Peter Snow and John Sturk who spent many hour sanding and re-varnishing our patio chairs to make them more water-proof.
There have been quite a few sausage sizzles recently. Thanks to Joan Whitham, Kerry
Bomford, Betty Stern, Ron Taylor, Richard Haver, John and Jackie Harland, Shona Carter,
Ian Marshall, Di McGivern, Peter and Kathy Hamilton, Odette Moro and Pat Hobson and
35
a few others where we don’t have names.
We would also like to thank Derek Smith for all the work he has done on the website,
emailing information to members etc. Thanks for your contribution.
We also have a number of our members who help out in the bar. These people have been
acknowledged in Brian Lucas’ article on the bar.
There have also been various other functions at the Club helped by many volunteers and
we thank all those people. If I have missed anyone who has volunteered doing something
at the Club, my apologies and thanks.
I estimate that our volunteers have done nearly a 1000 man-hours of free voluntary work
over the last six months. We are indeed lucky to have so many volunteers.
– Ken Giles
Note from your Editor:
Please let Ken Giles or Neville Odell know if you have volunteered recently and we have
missed your name on this list so that your efforts will be acknowledged in the next newsletter. Remember it is important that we record hours worked by our volunteers as this helps
when we apply for Government grants.
Ponderisms
T
hanks to Barry Stewart for these points to ponder on over the Christmas holidays:
• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
• How is it one careless match can start a bush fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly
things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
• Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there? I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes out of its bum.
• If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
• Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets angry, but when you
take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
A
Fancy dress
man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Christmas fancy dress party. He
doesn’t know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy
36
dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a Pirate’s outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald
head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate.
The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note:
Dear Sir,
Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk’s habit. The long robe will
cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.
The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong
letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with
the accompanying letter:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup
over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple.
– Thanks to Jan Paniperis for this story
Tribute to Ray Dunn 1927-2014
O
ur dear and special friend Ray passed away peacefully at Brightwater Madeley on
the 23 September aged 86. Ray was a member of our Club for ten years. Before
immigrating to Perth, to be close to their family, Ray and his lovely wife, Emily, were
members of the Glen Eden Bowling Club in New Zealand.
In his 42 year bowling career Ray served on various committees and held the positions of
Junior and Senior Vice-Presidents, President and Immediate Past President and Director
of Bowls. In recognition of his outstanding achievements, his long standing service and
37
his devotion to the Glen Eden Bowling Club he was
made a Life Member in 1987.
Ray was always an excellent bowler. In New Zealand
he accumulated more Championship titles than any
other Club member, and was the recipient of many
other bowling honours outside his Club. On arriving
at Sorrento he continued to win Club competitions
and loved to save the ‘brown envelopes’ awarded to
the prize winners. He loved to put his opponent’s under pressure with long ends and his favourite ‘around
the clock’ scored many wins.
Ray was always willing to use his knowledge and skills to coach new players and was
always prepared to volunteer for a working bee when painting or work was required.
When he wasn’t playing bowls Ray established Dunrae Milliners in 1961. He and Emily
started making hats using one tiny sewing machine. With a staff of three, in a small garage,
business started to boom and they moved to larger premises. In the early days times were
hard and it required persistence and hard work to ‘make a pound’ especially when fashions
changed. Ray and Emily made all sorts of hats from fedoras to top hats, from bonnets to
cowboy hats and even the odd gangster hat all with fine detail and lots of loving care.
Their efforts paid off and they were able to buy six shops. Eventually, after making hats
for forty years, they sold the business.
Ray’s family and friends gathered at Pinnaroo Memorial Park. His son, Brett, paid tribute
to his Dad:
“There are not enough words to describe just how important my father was to our family.
He was a fantastic father to us boys and a kind and loving husband to our Mum. Dad’s
passion for family, life, sport and friends will always be treasured. He taught us boys
respect, to give a firm hand shake and to always look the person in the eyes. In some
people’s eyes Dad was a mentor always willing to teach others and yet he would always
listen to others to be taught. He was always very competitive playing bowls and would
sure let people know that he had won. Since his passing my Dad has been described
to me as a real Gentleman. Although he will always be missed we all feel comforted
knowing that he accomplished more than he could of dreamed of in life”.
Warren Elliott a long-time friend and fellow New Zealander then told us about Ray’s will
to win after his stroke:
“The will to win emerged after he began his climb back from the stroke. As soon as he
38
started rehab. he was going to walk and go home, unfortunately a couple of setbacks
on the way made it so much harder for him. He maintained his humour with stories of
bending the steel rails in the Rest Home and denting the concrete floor with his head
when he fell over doing rehab.
Each time I visited we would shake hands and every other time he would grip my hand
firmly and pull as in an arm wrestle, he was competing and showing me although his left
side was weak his right arm was not. One could see how he was successful in business,
bowls and life, he had plenty of drive. It was not only his drive but pride as well, he was
so proud of Emily, their boys and their grand-children”.
The memory of you shall remain in our hearts forever. Rest in peace dear friend.
– Neville Odell
Cancer Day Fund-raising
O
n Friday 19 September our Social bowlers held their annual fund-raising day for the
Cancer Council. It turned out to be a great afternoon with lots of close games.
The winners of the floating trophy were Jim Welch, Derek Lay and Bev Carrigy with Alex
Third, Peter Davies, Carol Ford and Shona Carter as runners up
A third of the green fees ($87), all the normal prize money ($104) and the proceeds from
the raffle plus donations ($465) resulted in a total donation of $647.
Special thanks to the helpers and those who donated prizes and/or cash to make the day
the success it was. Dennis Saunders donated his usual bottle of Scotch as well as some
golf balls. The Scotch was won by Jenny Gandras and the golf balls by Barry Stewart and
Barry Bradshaw.
– Chris Tibbits
39
Kalgoorlie Spring Carnival
F
Copyright: Kalgoorlie Miner
our teams from Sorrento set off early morning on the Prospector to Kalgoorlie. Settling
in at the Railway Inn prepared them for the tiring four days ahead of cold weather.
Lee Leach, Sonia McGrady, Helen Ironside, and Val Thornett did well in the ‘Farewell
Fours’ and won the first prize of $400. Unfortunately the photo of the winning team was a
bit fuzzy so could not be used.
The team of Nelly, Marie, and the two Jeans, were less fortunate with their win receiving
prize money of $5 each. This went to their heads and was quickly spent which meant that
the only way was down-hill.
Having some close games and although being pipped at the post everyone enjoyed the time
away meeting bowlers from other parts of W.A. including some who drove all the way
from Augusta.
Our ladies left in good spirits on the Monday as the local paper (Kalgoorlie Miner) published an article on the Carnival including a photo of Jean Baker.
40
Our Members in “Action”
It’s great to see Dennis
and Lily back again
Our Cricket Club members enjoying a
beer or two
There must be “something in the air” at the Sorrento Bowling Club. “The
Power-Nap” – our secret to scintillating success on the green!
41
Ian Marshall, Shelley Jeffs and
Graeme Whitehorn enjoying a glass
Mickie Martin, Brian Clausen, Richard Bone,
Bruce Eagles and Ross Cunningham looking
very smart in their new Sorrento bowling shirts
Guess who this
Charlie Chaplin
impersonator was in
1974?
Right:
Derry Ellis,
Eric Tompkins
and Maurice
Pellerade
enjoying a beer
Right: Carmel
and Lorraine
on holiday at
Gallipoli’s Anzac
Cove,
Alan Bishop
thought Jan was
clever in matching
her bowls with her
shirt!
42
Did you know that Barbara
Spence has been helping Chris
Tibbits for nearly seven years
with the organising of Friday
afternoon social bowls? We are
indeed lucky to have so many
volunteers in our Club who are
prepared to help with all the
different requirements/duties.
With Special Thanks
T
o my good friends at the Sorrento Bowling Club
– thank you one and all for all the cards, phone
calls, messages and visits and for your genuine concern about my welfare. I also thank you very much
for the solid support shown to my partner – May.
Such solidarity makes me proud to be a member of
our great Club – Love Ya: Cal O’Donnell
Tribute to John Forkin 1933-2014
S
orrento Bowling Club members were saddened to hear of the passing at age 81 of
popular member John Forkin on 29 September.
John was well known and respected throughout our membership. His great smile greeted
many new members to the Club and ensured they were made to feel at home.
John worked in real estate for 12 years before joining our Club in 1986. He was introduced by Bill and May Leyland whose house he had sold. Before long he was Assistant
Secretary. One of his main duties was to raise sponsorships for the Club. He was then
appointed Vice President in 1988/89 and President from 1991 to 1993. In 1994 he was appointed Chairman of Selectors and still retained his popularity! He was elected President
again in 1995 but had to retire due to ill health. Soon after this he was appointed the Club’s
Returning Officer, a position he held until 2011 when age and health forced him to finally
retire.
Older members of our Club have assured me John was a very capable 1st Division Lead
for many years. Like many older members age forced him to gradually move down to
43
lower divisions but he was still very difficult to out bowl. Unless
his Skip requested otherwise John would always place the mat
at a relatively short distance from the Front ditch and endeavour
to bowl the jack to the “T’. His fellow players were soon aware
there was no need to move the bowls back at the completion of
the previous end.
I doubt there has ever been a bowler who generated more good
will and sportsmanship on the green. Whether he won or lost John
still had that gracious smile. One of his favourite sayings “Every
bowl pleases someone” will be long remembered by those who
came into contact with him on the green.
Few of his friends would have been aware he was a State Junior
High Jump champion.
Apart from bowls John was an active member of the North Beach
R.S.L.. Sorrento members will recall he always had a supply of
poppies to sell on Remembrance Day. Prior to Anzac Day each
year John would address a couple of school assemblies outlining
to the students the importance of the day.
Wartime
Signaller in the
Korean War
John served as a signaller in the Korean War, rising to the rank of Warrant Officer. Two of
his close mates were killed during ‘Operation Blaze’ which was the first daylight attack
in Korea. A few years back John received a letter from the President of the Republic of
Korea thanking him on behalf of the Korean people for his selfless sacrifice and saluting
his courage in enduring the unimaginable horrors of war.
Like many other Sorrento members I was proud to claim John as a good friend. John
received great joy from his Sorrento membership but in turn he served the Club to the best
of his ability. R.I.P. John.
– Tony Friedlieb
The Female Dentist
T
he female dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give the man a shot of Novocaine. “No
way! No needles. I hate needles” the patient said.
The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects:
“I can’t do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on suffocates me!”
The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill.
44
“No objection,” the patient says. “’I’m fine with pills.” The dentist then returns and says,
“Here’s a Viagra.”
The patient says, “Wow! I didn’t know Viagra worked as a pain killer!”
“It doesn’t” said the dentist, “but it’s going to give you something to hold on to when I pull
your tooth out”
– Thanks to Mike Berecry for this contribution
Live Happy in 2015
Consider the following:
• Your kids are becoming you – but your grandchildren are perfect.
• Going out is good – coming home is better!
• You forget names – but it’s OK because other people forgot they even knew you!
• You realize you’re never going to be really good at anything – especially golf!
• The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don’t care to do them any more!
• You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It’s called ‘pre-sleep’.
• You miss the days when everything worked with just an “ON” and “OFF” switch.
• You tend to use more four letter words – “what?” – “when?”. . . ” ???
• Now that you can afford expensive jewellery, it’s not safe to wear it anywhere.
• What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
• Everybody whispers.
• You have three sizes of clothes in your closet – two of which you will never wear.
But Old is good in some things, Old Songs, Old Movies,
And best of all, OLD FRIENDS
– Thanks to Ian Marshall for these words of wisdom
Skinny Dippers
Fred, an old bloke, mate of mine, living out of Broome,
Had lived up there for nigh on sixty years.
His 90 acres close to town means he’s got lots of room
To love his land before it disappears.
His block contains a billabong along its Northern strip,
Where eucalypts and native creatures thrived.
He’d planted fruit trees round about so thought he’d take a trip
45
To check if any mangos had survived.
He drove his Ute beneath a tree to leave it in the shade,
Got out, and took a bucket from the tray
To put the fruit in just in case the mangos made the grade.
T’was turning out to be a lovely day.
The pond was full of naked girls. Their laughter filled the air.
They’d never thought their actions would command
Attention from a well-built man who should be standing there
With bucket at the ready in his hand.
The girls swam to the furthest end and made a great to do,
And called to him to kindly go away.
He replied, “I didn’t come up here to take a look at you.
That’s not the reason I’m up here today.
You’re nakedness – it doesn’t interest me at all. You see!”
Fred held his bucket high and with a smile,
He said, “Swim round! Enjoy yourselves! It’s all the same to me,
I’m only here to feed me crocodile!”
– Written by Jem Shorland
2014 Ladies Fashion Parade
T
uesday 23 September was the designated day for the Sorrento Bowling
Club’s annual Ladies Fashion Parade. The
initial sale of tickets indicated that the event
may not be as profitable as in the past due
to smaller numbers of attendees. However,
on the day a good number of extra people
arrived and helped to swell the numbers.
About 100 ladies (some club members and some not), came to the club for an event that
comprised morning tea, a presentation by one of our travel agent sponsors, Helloworld
(formerly Jetset Northlands), the fashion show and lunch.
The fashion show itself began at 11am with the clothes being ably modelled by Shelley
Jeffs, Carmel Hyde, Jan Paniperis, Pauline Marsden and Wendy Stobie. It was great to see
different models this year, although one or two appeared to be turning into ‘divas’ by the
end of the show. I think super model status was starting to set in!! The models were dressed
in a varied array of styles and paraded the items with great finesse and confidence.
The display of fashions took about an hour, after which people were able to try on garments
they had liked and decide upon which items to purchase. The results of several raffles
46
– 6 lucky door prizes, 2 money sheets, a fruit basket, a wine raffle and two Nutrimetics
cosmetics packs - were determined after lunch. Most of the prizes went to non-bowling
ladies.
When it was time for lunch, everyone lined up for bread rolls and hot soup, being able to
choose between pumpkin, minestrone, chicken or vegetable. The hall was again filled with
chatter and laughter before most started to head off home. Others remained to tidy up and
after the work was done, a drink or two was had by those who chosen to stay on.
A great vote of thanks goes to Joan and her helpers in the kitchen, who heated soups, cut
bread, carried plates and cutlery and washed dishes. Thank you, too, to the ladies who
made the beautiful soups for our lunch. Thanks to May Leyland who donated the beautiful
fruit basket as a raffle prize. Thanks also to Paul, our bar manager, for donating some
wine for door prizes. Thanks also must go again to Margaret Skelton for the donation of
the Nutrimetics prizes for her special raffle. Margaret displayed her Nutrimetics products
and ran a raffle, the proceeds of which she gave to the Club. Thanks must also go to the
five ladies who helped with setting up the hall the night before the show – it is never easy
pushing tables and chairs around. And a big thank you to all who attended – without you
there, this event would not be possible.
About $1560 profit has been raised to go into the Club’s coffers – the best we have managed so far and with reduced numbers of attendees. Well done, everyone!!!
– Sharon Eggers
Y
Lawn bowls: Some Discussion on Tactics
our Editor thought it might be useful to think about the appropriate tactics required to
win a Pennant game. If we assume the following:
In an important Pennant game your team is down three shots on the overall aggregate.
There is one end to go and your rink is the last team on the green. You have been doing
well on long ends. Your Lead is about to put down the jack. Question for the Skipper?
What is the best tactic to adopt to pick up four shots on this final end? Should you continue
playing long ends or should you get your Lead to put down a shorter end so that you increase your chances of having back bowls (without losing any bowls in the ditch) and with
an increased chance of picking up a multiple with a trail of the jack to your back bowls?
Skipper 1’s tactics:
Does not change the length as the team have been doing well on long ends. Does not go
short as in his opinion this will make it easier for the opposing Skipper to drive into the
47
head and may also upset the team by changing the length at this critical stage of the game.
Encourages his team not to be ‘short’ without losing their bowls in the ditch.
Skipper 2’s tactics:
Decides on a three quarter length to reduce risk of losing bowls in the ditch. Tells team to
be just behind the jack and to make sure every bowl counts. He knows a trail of the jack
to his back bowls may give them the four needed to win.
Skipper 3’s tactics:
Talks to his team about the strategy required to play the last end and the need for a multiple
score. Asks Lead to place mat on the T to allow for a longish end but with room to play
bowls without the risk of losing bowls into the ditch. Motivates team to get their bowls
behind the jack and for the Lead and Second to try and be within one metre and behind
the jack.
Skipper 4’s tactics:
Does not hold up the game by considering too many options which may create uncertainty
in his team and in his own mind. Continues to play this critical last end as if nothing has
changed.
Question?
Which of the above Skipper’s tactics are most likely to result in a four shot win on this
important end? What do you think is the best option?
– Thanks to Ian Marshall and Richard Bone who helped with this article
From Behind Bars
T
his is the first of what will be a regular segment in the newsletter to keep members
informed of what’s happening behind the Sorrento Bowling Club Bar. I have recently
taken over as Chair of Bar from Ron Taylor. Ron has worked tirelessly over the past eighteen months not only as Chair of Bar but also in his elected position of Assistant Treasurer.
Ron is a major volunteer helping out behind the bar on numerous occasions, particularly
for Ladies bowls competitions. The time commitment to tackle these dual roles is beyond
what the Club should expect from one volunteer, and I am happy to help out. Ron has
generously offered to maintain his position on the Bar Committee and to continue to support the bar. Our many thanks go to Ron.
Many thanks also to our other generous Bar Committee representatives of Graeme May,
James Baker, Kevin Coffee and Glenn Boston who are ably supported by our accredited bar helpers like Ian Marshall, Gavin Ebsworth, Pauline Marsden, Thora Lay, Jenny
48
Lockwood, Beth McCormack and President Barry Bradshaw.
My responsibility as Chair of Bar is to oversee the implementation of the Bar Operational
Plan. This Plan outlines the vision and objectives for the operation of the Sorrento Bowling
Club Bar; obligations and responsibilities of the Bar Manager, Chair of Bar and associated
positions; authorities and protocols; expectations and performance targets; performance
measures; and an operational plan for the next two years. Copies of the Plan are available
behind the bar for your perusal.
Our bar is an important source of revenue for the Club that goes to support the development and maintenance of the greens and surrounds, the maintenance and upkeep of the
clubhouse and many other aspects of the Club’s operations. Revenue from the bar eases
pressures on other funding sources such as membership fees, match fees and the like.
Naturally members and guests using the bar also
want a great experience in terms of the level of
services, quality of products, quality of presentation
and value for money. The vision for the bar enunciated in the Operational Plan is “to be recognised
as running a profitable bar operation that members
and visitors will recognise as being well run, well
-organised, informed, and efficient and customer
focused”. Our objectives are to:
1.Achieve excellence in customer service for the provision of refreshments and associ-
ated merchandise and bar services.
2. Meet the financial targets for gross and net profit set by the Executive.
3. Provide a safe working environment for staff, volunteers and customers.
4. Achieve the highest standards for food handling and bar service hygiene.
5. Ensure compliance with all relevant regulations.
A range of performance standards has also been set and performance against these standards will be monitored.
The Operational Plan which has been endorsed by the Executive Committee is seeking a
net profit return from the bar of 36.6%.
The bar is also tasked with a range of compliance requirements, such as Liquor and Gaming
Regulations, the Food Act 2008 and Food Regulations (2009), the Liquor Control Act
1988, the Betting Control Act 1954, the Racing and Wagering W.A. Act 2003, the Industrial
Relations Act 1979 and the Occupation Health and Safety Act 1984. The Club’s licence
requires compliance with all these regulations. People serving alcohol must possess a cur49
rent R.S.A. (Responsible Serving of Alcohol) accreditation and are required to comply
with the law. So if you are showing signs of intoxication and bar staff refuse to serve you
because it would be against the law to do so, don’t blame them – it’s your fault.
Regular surveys of ‘Member’s Satisfaction’ with the bar’s operations will be sent out via
e-mail and you are encouraged to participate and provide feedback. I will be pleased to
also receive your comments and suggestions in person.
I would also be interested to hear from you if you would like to volunteer behind the bar,
not necessarily serving alcohol but maybe as a glass helper during busy times, cleaning
the beer lines once a week, helping with monthly stock-takes or a range of other tasks. The
time commitment would not be great. I am also looking for a talented volunteer who could
carry out three compliance audits each year. This would involve researching to understand
the requirements and then carrying out an independent audit to ensure that we are complying with the law or what corrective action is needed.
Volunteers help us to improve our service and reduce bar operating costs, allowing us to
improve the net profit return to the Club and to maintain and hopefully reduce the prices
charged for our products. That’s it for now. Remember that our Bar Manager, Paul Dennis,
and his staff and volunteers behind the bar are here to make your experience an enjoyable and rewarding one. We will all be working hard to make sure that you have such an
experience.
– Brian Lucas
New Sponsor – Old Friend
L
es Roberts has been a regular
sponsor with the Sorrento
Bowling Club as part of his practice
at Seacrest Physiotherapy Centre.
Well Les has now moved closer
to home operating the Duncraig
Physiotherapy and Pilates Centre
in Barragah Way in Duncraig
(adjacent to the Duncraig Medical
centre).
Operating between 7.30am and 7pm during the week and 8am until noon on Saturdays,
Les and his caring physiotherapist team of Cadan Allison and Michelle MacSiomoin offer
same day, on-time appointments, providing effective treatment for neck and back pain,
headaches, sporting injuries (including bowls), joint pain, chronic injuries, arthritis and
vertigo.
50
The Centre offers excellent facilities for Pilates and exercise rehabilitation classes. They also
perform ultrasound imaging, manipulative and sports physiotherapy and acupuncture.
What more could our bowlers and other Club members ask for? All this in your own back
yard and with a Club sponsor as well.
Contact Judy, Janice or Jill at Duncraig Physiotherapy and Pilates Centre to make your
next wellness appointment on 9246 9955 or visit their website at
www.movewell.com.au/duncraig.
Cellarbrations All Round
O
ur Club has been successful in engaging a new sponsor – Cellarbations Liquor Outlet
which is scheduled to open in the Burragah Shopping Centre on 8 December 2014,
taking over the area previously occupied by the video store.
Cellarbrations has grown to be one of the largest independent retail liquor brands in the
country, with over 500 local outlets and a reputation as one of the best independent liquor
brands in the marketplace.
Cellarbrations is the only independent group to be awarded the ‘Retail Banner Group of the
Year’ four times in seven years at the prestigious Australian Liquor Industry Awards.
Local owner and operator of Cellarbrations Duncraig, Arthur Naoum, and the Club have
seized on the opportunity to share in the benefits arising from our close proximity and the
synergies that will flow from a close association.
Apart from supplying the Club with packaged liquor, Cellarbrations will provide generous
sponsorship and support.
More details will unfold over the coming weeks. I am confident that our association will
have great mutual benefit for our organisations and in particular for our members and their
families and friends.
– Brian Lucas: Chair of Bar
51
Looking for Irish Sausage
E
veryone seems to be in such a hurry to scream ‘racism’ these days.
A customer asked... “In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?”
The clerk asks...”Are you Irish?”
The guy, clearly offended says...
“Yes I am, But let me ask you something.
“If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was
Italian?
Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?
Or if I asked for Polish sausage, would you ask if I was Polish?”
The clerk says...”No, I probably wouldn’t.”
The guy says...”Well then, because I asked for Irish sausage...
“Why did you ask me if I’m Irish?”
The clerk replied...”Because you’re in Bunnings”...
– Ray Stapledon
52
Letters to the Editor
WHAT A GREAT CLUB!
To the Editor
We joined the Sorrento bowling club in February 2013. With some apprehension as
we came from a small club further up north. I was soon put at ease with very friendly
members from the start. I was also given coaching which I very much appreciated
and needed.
I was lucky enough to get into the Pennants team last year which I really enjoyed.
Again everyone was very supportive and helpful.
The social side of the club really surprised me. The Friday meals are brilliant and as
there is just the two of us we are invited to share a table with other members all the
time which is really nice as they have their own table already.
Having come from the UK and been in social clubs there we are really impressed
with your club (excuse me my club now).
So thanks again for allowing us to join and hope to have many happy times in the
future.
– Maurice and Julie Pellerade.
Hi Maurice and Julie
It is great to get positive feed-back about our Club. We often tend to take things for
granted and don’t always realise how lucky we are to have such a great Club.
NAME AND SHAME
To the Editor
Why don’t you have a “Name and Shame” page for members who park in the
Executive parking spots behind the Clubhouse, who don’t kick bowls back, who
park in the Tennis players’ parking spots/disabled parking, who don’t pay $1 for coffee/tea in the honesty tin in kitchen and those who never use their cars or pay towards
petrol for away matches?
– A concerned member
Hi Concerned Member
Let me have the name and we will publish them. I already know who parks in the
tennis players reserved parking!!!
– Your Editor
53
Ros Pittaway’s 164 year old book
T
hanks to Ros for lending us her beautiful 164 year old book
“Old Christmas” written by Washington Irvine in 1850. Your
editor was even provided with a pair of fine gloves to prevent
his sticky fingers from damaging this delightful little book. This
book is available on the Internet, as an eBook, and is available
for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost. You may read it or
copy it under the Project Gutenberg License online at
www.gutenberg.org.
If you want to know more about Washington Irvine just Google
him.
An extract from “Old Christmas”:
Of all the old festivals, however, that of Christmas awakens the strongest and
most heartfelt associations. There is a tone of solemn and sacred feeling that
blends with our conviviality, and lifts the spirit to a state of hallowed and elevated enjoyment.
The services of the church about this season are extremely tender and inspiring.
They dwell on the beautiful story of the origin of our faith, and the pastoral
scenes that accompanied its announcement. They gradually increase in fervour
and pathos during the season of Advent, until they break forth in full jubilee on
the morning that brought peace and good-will to men.
I do not know a grander effect of music on the moral feelings than to hear the
full choir and the pealing organ performing a Christmas anthem in a cathedral,
and filling every part of the vast pile with triumphant harmony.
– Washington Irvine
54
55
Trevors Carpets
The best knowledge – the biggest range
– the right advice
Osborne Park
9202 4545
Paul Waite
56
Joondalup
9300 3633
Rob Crane
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