student packet
EWRT 200 &
LART 78
STUDENT PACKET
First Edition
By Amy Leonard & Jill Quigley
Table of Contents
WRITING STRATEGIES ....................................................................................................... 1 The Writing Process ....................................................................................... 2 The Writing Process Visual............................................................................ 3 Writing Audience ........................................................................................... 4 Elements of an Essay...................................................................................... 7 The Structure of an Argument........................................................................ 8 The Six "Moves" of Argument....................................................................... 9 How to Write Good Introductions................................................................ 10 Attention Grabbers ....................................................................................... 11 How To Write Good Conclusions................................................................ 13 Body Paragraph Design................................................................................ 15 What is Purpose?.......................................................................................... 16 PIE PARAGRAPHS .................................................................................... 27 PIE Strategies for Writers ............................................................................................................. 27 Do You Have Enough E in Your PIE?......................................................... 28 EWRT 200/211 PIE Paragraph Structure for Personal Examples ............... 29 EWRT 200/211 PIE Paragraph Structure with Quote Sandwiches.............. 30 PIE Paragraph Structure for Research Papers .............................................. 31 A Definition Paragraph Argument ............................................................... 32 Types of Papers: Narrative/Descriptive ...................................................... 33 Comparing and Contrasting Arguments....................................................... 35 Transitions.................................................................................................... 36 Topic Sentences............................................................................................ 37 Guidelines for Topic Sentences.................................................................... 38 Topic Sentence Practice ............................................................................... 40 Quotations .................................................................................................... 42 Quote Sandwiches: The Secret to Using Direct Quotes............................... 47 Identifying Effective or Ineffective Quote Sandwiches ............................... 48 Basics of Quotes Vs. Paraphrase ...................................................................................... 50 MLA Formatting Guidelines........................................................................ 51 Writing Process: Pre-Writing ................................................................................. 53 The Steps of Pre-Writing.............................................................................. 54 Prewriting: Clustering .................................................................................. 55 Practice Clustering: ...................................................................................... 56 Brainstorming Technique............................................................................. 57 Freewriting ................................................................................................... 58 Cubing .......................................................................................................... 59 Journalistic Questions .................................................................................. 60 Targeting Your Audience............................................................................. 61 i
WRITING PROCESS: REVISION STRATEGIES ..................................................................... 63 The Steps of the Revision Process ............................................................... 64 PEER REVIEW SHEET for Out of Class Essay #1 .................................... 66 PEER REVIEW SHEET for Class Essay #3 ............................................... 67 PEER REVIEW SHEET for Out of Class Essay #4 .................................. 68 Writing Center Tutorial Session................................................................... 69 PROOFREADING and EDITING STRATEGIES....................................................................... 75 Sensory Language ........................................................................................ 76 Making Words More Specific ...................................................................... 77 Simile & Metaphors ..................................................................................... 78 METAPHOR................................................................................................ 79 Metaphor—An Example .............................................................................. 80 The Sentence ................................................................................................ 81 Understanding and Identifying Subjects ...................................................... 86 Subject-Verb Agreement.............................................................................. 89 Coordinators ................................................................................................. 93 Different Kinds of Clauses........................................................................... 95 Subordinators ............................................................................................... 96 Subordinators ................................................................................................................................ 96 Editing for Fragments................................................................................. 100 Strategies for Fixing Fragments ................................................................. 101 Commas...................................................................................................... 104 Explanation ............................................................................................................. 104 Series....................................................................................................................... 105 Comma-Adjective Rule .......................................................................................... 105 Setting off Nonessential Elements .......................................................................... 105 Transitional Words and Phrases.............................................................................. 106 Quotations ............................................................................................................... 106 Exercise 3 – Commas – Essential and Nonessential Items..................................... 108 Exercise 4 – Commas – Transitions........................................................................ 108 Editing for Run-Together Sentences .......................................................... 109 Verb Tense Definitions .............................................................................. 113 Avoiding Inappropriate Verb Tense Shifts ................................................ 115 Appositives................................................................................................. 117 Discussion & Questioning Strategies.......................................................................................... 118 Why Are Classroom Discussions and Small Group Work so Important for Learning? 119 Improving Class Discussions ................................................................... 120 Reading and Writing Connections........................................................................ 121 General & Specific ..................................................................................... 122 Purpose ....................................................................................................... 122 TIPS + ........................................................................................................ 123 The Levels of Questioning ......................................................................... 124 Inferences .................................................................................................. 126 ii
WRITING ASSIGNMENTS ...................................................................................................... 133 Pre-Writing for Essay #1............................................................................ 137 Essay Outline #1......................................................................................... 138 Pre-Writing for Essay #2............................................................................ 139 Essay Outline #2......................................................................................... 140 Essay Outline #3......................................................................................... 141 Essay Outline #3......................................................................................... 145 Essay Outline #4......................................................................................... 146 GRADING SHEETS .................................................................................................................. 154 English 200 Grade Sheet:……………………………………………………………….162 English 200 Grade Sheet:
…..158 English 200 Grade Sheet:
159 English 200 Grade Sheet:
160 English 200 Grade Sheet:
161 Portfolio Instructions .................................................................................................................. 162 Scoring Guide for Essays .................................................................................. 163 PARAGRAPH SCORING GUIDE ............................................................................................ 165 Grading Criteria ................................................................................................ 166 Self-evaluation for participation ............................................................................................. 168 Self-evaluation for writing...................................................................................................... 169 Acknowledgements_____________________________ .................................... 172 iii
Writing Stratgies
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The Writing Process
Prewriting, Brainstorm, Freewrite, Make Lists
1. Collect Information. Make a list of all your impressions about the topic. The list doesn't have to be in
complete sentences, and don't worry about spelling, grammar or punctuation, just get all of your ideas down.
Don't censor yourself and be as specific and detailed as possible.
2. Focus. Ask yourself, "What is the dominant impression I want to give my reader? What point do I want to
make?" (This will help you create your thesis statement.) Choose the descriptions which convey your dominant
impression. Pick the descriptions and information that work best.
3. Freewrite. Freewriting is almost exactly what it sounds like. In a freewriting assignment, you write whatever
comes to mind about a particular topic. Don't stop writing for whatever the time limit is, even if you end up
writing the same word over and over again, just keep going. Don't worry about grammar, spelling or punctuation.
In classes you may do "directed" freewrites. This means the teacher will suggest a topic or question for you to
address in order to prepare you for your essay. The same rules apply (don't stop, don't worry about grammar, etc.)
but your goal is to try to stay on the topic so that you can generate ideas for your essay.
Organizing, Writing Plans, Clusters, Outlines, Essay Skeletons
Think about how to organize your descriptions and ideas. What order will be the easiest for your reader to
follow? Which main ideas are most important and relevant?
Writing Plans
A writing plan is an organized outline or cluster diagram of what you plan to write about in your essay. Your
writing plan should be detailed enough that someone in the class would know what main ideas you will cover
in your essay and what your overall stance on the topic is. You might also include some detailed examples if
you have them in mind so that you will remember to include them in your essay.
Drafting, Speed Draft, Rough Draft, Peer Review Draft
Try a "speed draft" first, one in which you try to follow your organizational plan, but don't worry
about
mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation). A speed draft may be handwritten or composed
on the computer.
In a rough draft, you can rewrite/type your speed draft, making any changes you think are
needed. This, or a
third, or fourth draft, will be the "good faith draft" you bring to peer review.
Revising, Rearrange, Tighten Up, Explain, Give Sufficient Examples
Look over the notes from peer response and reread the essay to yourself with a pen or pencil in hand, making
notes to yourself. Revise your draft as often as necessary to make it clearer and more fully developed. Make
sure your paragraphs have topic sentences and you have a main point that you stick to throughout the essay.
Make sure you have fulfilled the requirements of the assignment.
Revision doesn't just mean "correcting" grammar or "fixing" sentences. Give yourself permission to make
significant changes, even to change your opinion about your topic. You are in control; you can make whatever
changes you want. But in the end, don't forget to ensure that it all hangs together, that the end matches the
middle and the beginning.
Proofreading, Read Out Loud, Read Backwards
Proofread your draft, combining your sentences to make them smoother, correcting the mechanical errors (spelling, punctuation, etc.). Make
corrections necessary to complete your final draft. Always save proofreading for last,
but save enough time to do a thorough job. You should leave at least a few hours after completing your paper
before you proofread.
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The Writing Process Visual
3
Writing Audience
AUDIENCE MATTERS
When you’re in the process of writing a paper, it’s easy to forget that you are actually writing to
someone. Whether you’ve thought about it consciously or not, you always write to an audience:
sometimes your audience is a very generalized group of readers, sometimes you know the individuals
who compose the audience, and sometimes you write for yourself. Keeping your audience in mind
while you write can help you make good decisions about what material to include, how to organize
your ideas, and how best to support your argument.
To illustrate the impact of audience, imagine you’re writing a letter to your grandmother to tell her
about your first month of college. What details and stories might you include? What might you leave
out? Now imagine that you’re writing on the same topic but your audience is your best friend. Unless
you have an extremely cool grandma to whom you’re very close, it’s likely that your two letters would
look quite different in terms of content, structure, and even tone.
ISN’T MY INSTRUCTOR MY AUDIENCE?
Yes, your instructor or TA is probably the actual audience for your paper. Your instructors read and
grade your essays, and you want to keep their needs and perspectives in mind when you write.
However, when you write an essay with only your instructor in mind, you might not say as much as
you should or say it as clearly as you should, because you assume that the person grading it knows
more than you do and will fill in the gaps. This leaves it up to the instructor to decide what you are
really saying, and she might decide differently than you expect. For example, she might decide that
those gaps show that you don’t know and understand the material. Remember that time when you said
to yourself, “I don’t have to explain communism; my instructor knows more about that than I do” and
got back a paper that said something like “Shows no understanding of communism”? That’s an
example of what can go awry when you think of your instructor as your only audience.
Thinking about your audience differently can improve your writing, especially in terms of how clearly
you express your argument. The clearer your points are, the more likely you are to have a strong essay.
Your instructor will say, “He really understands communism—he’s able to explain it simply and
clearly!” By treating your instructor as an intelligent but uninformed audience, you end up addressing
her more effectively.
HOW DO I IDENTIFY MY AUDIENCE AND WHAT THEY WANT FROM ME?
Before you even begin the process of writing, take some time to consider who your audience is and
what they want from you. Use the following questions to help you identify your audience and what you
can do to address their wants and needs.
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
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Who is your audience?
Might you have more than one audience? If so, how many audiences do you have? List them.
Does your assignment itself give any clues about your audience?
What does your audience need? What do they want? What do they value?
What is most important to them?
What are they least likely to care about?
What kind of organization would best help your audience understand and appreciate your?
What do you have to say (or what are you doing in your research) that might surprise your
audience?
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• What do you want your audience to think, learn, or assume about you? What impression do you
want your writing or your research to convey?
HOW MUCH SHOULD I EXPLAIN?
This is the hard part. As we said earlier, you want to show your instructor that you know the material.
But different assignments call for varying degrees of information. Different fields also have different
expectations. For more about what each field tends to expect from an essay, see the Writing Center
handouts on writing in specific fields of study. The best place to start figuring out how much you
should say about each part of your paper is in a careful reading of the assignment. We give you some
tips for reading assignments and figuring them out in our handout on how to read an assignment. The
assignment may specify an audience for your paper; sometimes the instructor will ask you to imagine
that you are writing to your congressperson, for a professional journal, to a group of specialists in a
particular field, or for a group of your peers. If the assignment doesn’t specify an audience, you may
find it most useful to imagine your classmates reading the paper, rather than your instructor.
Now, knowing your imaginary audience, what other clues can you get from the assignment? If the
assignment asks you to summarize something that you have read, then your reader wants you to
include more examples from the text than if the assignment asks you to interpret the passage. Most
assignments in college focus on argument rather than the repetition of learned information, so your
reader probably doesn’t want a lengthy, detailed, point-by-point summary of your reading (book
reports in some classes and argument reconstructions in philosophy classes are big exceptions to this
rule). If your assignment asks you to interpret or analyze the text (or an event or idea), then you want
to make sure that your explanation of the material is focused and not so detailed that you end up
spending more time on examples than on your analysis. If you are not sure about the difference
between explaining something and analyzing it, see our handouts on reading the assignment and
argument.
Once you have a draft, try your level of explanation out on a friend, a classmate, or a Writing Center
tutor. Get the person to read your rough draft, and then ask her to talk to you about what she did and
didn’t understand. (Now is not the time to talk about proofreading stuff, so make sure she ignores those
issues for the time being). You will likely get one of the following responses or a combination of them:
• If your listener/reader has tons of questions about what you are saying, then you probably need to
explain more. Let’s say you are writing a paper on piranhas, and your reader says, “What’s a
piranha? Why do I need to know about them? How would I identify one?” Those are vital questions
that you clearly need to answer in your paper. You need more detail and elaboration.
• If your reader seems confused, you probably need to explain more clearly. So if he says, “Are there
piranhas in the lakes around here?” you may not need to give more examples, but rather focus on
making sure your examples and points are clear.
• If your reader looks bored and can repeat back to you more details than she needs to know to
get your point, you probably explained too much. Excessive detail can also be confusing, because it
can bog the reader down and keep her from focusing on your main points. You want your reader to
say, “So it seems like your paper is saying that piranhas are misunderstood creatures that are
essential to South American ecosystems,” not, “Uh…piranhas are important?” or, “Well, I know
you said piranhas don’t usually attack people, and they’re usually around 10 inches long, and some
people keep them in aquariums as pets, and dolphins are one of their predators, and…a bunch of
other stuff, I guess?”
Sometimes it’s not the amount of explanation that matters, but the word choice and tone you adopt.
Your word choice and tone need to match your audience’s expectations. For example, imagine you are
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researching piranhas; you find an article in National Geographic and another one in an academic
journal for scientists. How would you expect the two articles to sound? National Geographic is written
for a popular audience; you might expect it to have sentences like “The piranha generally lives in
shallow rivers and streams in South America.” The scientific journal, on the other hand, might use
much more technical language, because it’s written for an audience of specialists. A sentence like
“Serrasalmus piraya lives in fresh and brackish intercoastal and proto-arboreal sub-tropical regions
between the 45th and 38th parallels” might not be out of place in the journal.
Generally, you want your reader to know enough material to understand the points you are making. It’s
like the old forest/trees metaphor. If you give the reader nothing but trees, she won’t see the forest
(your thesis, the reason for your paper). If you give her a big forest and no trees, she won’t know how
you got to the forest (she might say, “Your point is fine, but you haven’t proven it to me”). You want
the reader to say, “Nice forest, and those trees really help me to see it.” Our handout on paragraph
development can help you find a good balance of examples and explanation.
READING YOUR OWN DRAFTS
Writers tend to read over their own papers pretty quickly, with the knowledge of what they are trying
to argue already in their minds. Reading in this way can cause you to skip over gaps in your written
argument because the gap-filler is in your head. A problem occurs when your reader falls into these
gaps. Your reader wants you to make the necessary connections from one thought or sentence to the
next. When you don’t, the reader can become confused or frustrated. Think about when you read
something and you struggle to find the most important points or what the writer is trying to say. Isn’t
that annoying? Doesn’t it make you want to quit reading and surf the web or call a friend?
PUTTING YOURSELF IN THE READER’S POSITION
Instead of reading your draft as if you wrote it and know what you meant, try reading it as if you have
no previous knowledge of the material. Have you explained enough? Are the connections clear? This
can be hard to do at first. Consider using one of the following strategies:
• Take a break from your work—go work out, take a nap, take a day off. This is why the Writing
Center and your instructors encourage you to start writing more than a day before the paper is due.
If you write the paper the night before it’s due, you make it almost impossible to read the paper with
a fresh eye.
• Try outlining after writing—after you have a draft, look at each paragraph separately. Write down
the main point for each paragraph on a separate sheet of paper, in the order you have put them. Then
look at your “outline”—does it reflect what you meant to say, in a logical order? Are some
paragraphs hard to reduce to one point? Why? This technique will help you find places where you
may have confused your reader by straying from your original plan for the paper.
• Read the paper aloud—we do this all the time at the Writing Center, and once you get used to it,
you’ll see that it helps you slow down and really consider how your reader experiences your text. It
will also help you catch a lot of sentence-level errors, such as misspellings and missing words,
which can make it difficult for your reader to focus on your argument.
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Elements of an Essay
Title
The title is the reader’s first impression of the essay – the first words the reader reads. The title can do
any of the following:
• Convey the topic to the reader.
• Convey the writer’s attitude.
• Be thought-provoking, insightful.
• Engage the reader’s attention.
Introduction
• Introduces the subject or topic of the essay to the reader in a general way.
• Creates interests – grabs the reader’s attention.
• Indicates the writer’s stance.
• Includes a thesis statement.
The title, introduction and thesis statement form a promise to the reader. All three indicate to the reader
what the essay will be about – all three enable the reader to make predictions about what territory the
essay will cover. The promise that the title, intro, and thesis give must be consistent and clear, and it
must be fulfilled throughout the essay by the body paragraphs and finally, by the conclusion.
Body Paragraphs
Body paragraphs are the meat of the essay. Each paragraph must:
• Support the thesis statement.
• Have one main idea or point expressed in a topic sentence.
• Include information (examples, data, facts, quotes, paraphrases, personal observations) which
support the main point of the paragraph.
• Provide commentary, or explanation, which connects the information to the point and thus to
the thesis.
Consciously or subconsciously, readers make predictions about what will be in the paragraph based on
the topic sentence. The topic sentence carries the point of the paragraph and is a promise as well. The
paragraph must fulfill the promise of the topic sentence.
Conclusion
The conclusion is the last impression the reader has of the essay and can function in a variety of ways.
A conclusion can:
• Restate the main message of the essay.
• Summarize the main points of the essay.
• Give the thesis a larger application – connect it to the world at large.
• Solve a problem raised in the essay.
• Make a call to action – encourage or command the reader to take some action related to the
thesis.
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The Structure of an Argument
The Beginning….
Hooks your audience (attention getter)
States the problem
Establishes your position
Presents your thesis statement
The Middle/ Body Paragraphs….
Provides background information
Responds to other points of view
Presents arguments supporting your main claim
Anticipates possible objections
The End/ Conclusion….
Summarizes your position and implications
Invites readers to share your conclusion and/ or take action
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The Six "Moves" of Argument
An essay is not an introduction, a thesis, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. Those are merely the things writers use to create an
essay. But a true essay is more of a testing or advancing of an idea. It is a writer coming forward in writing and saying, "Based on the
information I have, I think THIS represents the best way of thinking about this topic." That's really all an essay is.
Of course, in order to convince readers that the idea advanced in the essay (i.e. the idea expressed in the thesis) is, in fact, the best way
(or at least a reasonable way) of thinking about the topic, the writer must DO particular things. This is key. Writers do not create
arguments by simply pasting a thesis to an intro and then following it with paragraphs. Rather, writers create written arguments by doing
the following.
1. Orienting Readers to a Question at Issue: Imagine a group of people in the college quad arguing. You step into the circle, and it’s a
flurry of arguments and voices. You don't know what's going on or what the focus is. You pull a friend out of the group and
asked to be filled in. When you do, you'll get the following:
What group is arguing about (i.e. the topic).
A description of the topic (if you don't already know it).
An indication of the controversy involving the topic (the question at issue).
A brief description of what each side is saying in response to the question at issue.
A brief description of why the group can't seem to reach agreement.
A brief description of why the group is taking the time to argue (i.e. why the question at issue matters).
Proposing A Specific Argument/Thesis: Once you know what the question at issue is and you feel oriented to the controversy, you
can, if you know about the issue, offer your own answer to the question at issue participate in the conversation. Your answer
is your argument or thesis.
3. Defining Key Terms: If your argument hinges on people accepting or understanding particular concepts, you need to define them.
You'll want to be careful how you do this, though. You'll want to briefly define terms, not exhaustively (unless it is a term that
is, itself, driving the controversy), and you'll want to define the terms in the context of your argument. In other words, you
wouldn't, in this college quad conversation, bring the conversation to a screeching halt by taking the floor to define a concept
that you plan to use in ten minutes. You'll define the concept as it is relevant to the immediate point you're making.
4. Offering Reasons, Evidence, Explanations, and Examples that Support Your Thesis: The people gathered in the circle listening
to you will want you to offer information and reasons that will help them understand why you have offered the argument you
have. Your goal is to get them see your thinking process—i.e. the process by which you’ve come to your conclusion—and the
help them understand why they should think similarly to you. You'll do whatever you can (without ever lying or misleading) to
help them "see" the reasonableness of your answer to the question at issue.
5. Acknowledging, Accommodating, and Refuting Differing points of view. You know many of the people in your conversation
circle have their own ideas about the topic. They have concerns, they have fears, they have interests. And to protect these,
they have positions. They may be content to listen to your different ideas while holding fast to their positions. To get them to
"let go" of some of their concerns, fears, and interests (or to at least get them to think differently about them so they don't
prevent them from entertaining your ideas), you have to
• Acknowledge that you are aware of these concerns, fears, interests, and positions. This means simply that you let them know that you
are aware of and understand what's on their minds.
• Accommodate their concerns, fears, interests, and positions WHEN YOU CAN. The people in your conversation circle will let their
guard down and listen to you with a much more open mind when you not only acknowledge their point of view, but also grant
that some of what they think is actually correct and/or well-intentioned. Do this whenever you can--even if you only say
something like, "The intentions behind my opponents' position is good." Sometimes, though, there is nothing about your
opponents' arguments that you can accommodate. When this is the case, don't pretend like there is.
• Refute their positions. In refuting, you are trying to get them to "let go" of the concerns, fears, and/or interests that are causing them
to take their position. You can do this by showing them that their position is the wrong one to protect their concerns or
interests; or that their fears or interests are based on bad information or bad values; or that there are other concerns or interests
greater than their own that they should embrace.
Ending your argument. If after you've informed the people in your conversation circle of your position and your reasons for it you
simply turn and walk away, they'll feel "cut off" and slighted. They'll wonder what you're problem is. With essays readers can have a
similarly discomforting experience if the writer doesn't end smoothly. All a writer needs to do to eliminate that discomfort the reader
may feel is let readers know the essay is over. You can do this by "winding down" and letting readers see that you are done supporting
your argument and coming back to sit with it.
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How to Write Good Introductions
What is the function of an introduction?
An introduction
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captures your audience's attention.
gives background/context on your topic.
develops interest in your topic by explaining various positions on your topic.
guides your reader to your thesis.
ends with a strong thesis.
There are three basic ways to write an introduction:
You can write the introduction after you write the body of your essay.
You can write the introduction before you write the body of your essay.
 You can rough out the introduction first and then focus and revise it once you have written
your essay.
Many people write a rough draft and from that find out what their purpose really is and what they really
believe. Then they revise the focus, language, or order of their introduction. This sequence -- of
drafting an introduction and then revising and refining it once the body of the paper is sketched out -is very common.*
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*
This information was courtesy of LEO: Literacy Education Online
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Attention Grabbers
A good Essay Introduction will definitely make use of attention grabbers. In essays, the reader will generally have rather
short attention spans. Hence, in longer papers that are 3+ pages you will need to have more compelling and extended
attention grabbers in order to capture and maintain the audience’s attention.
Let us look at some features of an effective attention grabber:
- Firstly, effective attention grabbers are sometimes unexpected
- Secondly, audiences usually have their own worries and troubles on their minds. Does the attention grabber break the preoccupation that is pre-existing in their minds?
- Next, does it generate curiosity in the minds of the audience?
- Finally, does the attention grabber relevant to the message of the speaker? Does it create a positive relationship.
8 Types of Attention Grabbers:
1. Ask a question – Asking a question challenges the mind of the audience, putting them in a thinking active mode instead
of a receiving passive mode. A question is easy to ask and also serves as an effective tool to buy the speaker time to think
about the next point.
2. Use an anecdote or story – Everybody loves a good story, so why not tell a good one? This story can be anything in the
real world that is related to your topic.
3. Give a definition – This technique is good for speeches at scientific conferences for instance, and helps to clarify
ambiguous terms within the speech.
4. Use a quote – A quote, when used appropriately, can easily be used to motivate, inspire or enthrall an audience.
5. Use an analogy – This technique involves likening the topic of subject to a more understandable frame of reference that
the audience can understand. It is useful when describing certain features or benefits. For example, you could say; “Finding
the correct job ls like finding the correct pair of shoes, you know when you have found a perfect fit.” By using an analogy to
relate your focus to a more common image, this will allow the audience to relate to your message more easily.
6. Use humor – It is common knowledge that audiences enjoy funny speeches. However, the trick to a good attention
grabber is to use humor that is relevant to the topic.
7. Relate a personal experience – Personal experiences shared under this context must firstly, be interesting. Secondly, it
has to be related to your message. The audience must be able to make the link between your story and your message or else
what you will be doing is merely to tell the audience a story about yourself
8. Give a demonstration – Conducting a demonstration helps people who like to absorb information visually. It also helps
provide variety to your speech and serves as an interesting distraction to a tired audience.
Attention grabbers are an important aspect to a successful Introductions. It grabs and holds the attention of the audience
allowing you to deliver your message with impact.
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Attention Grabber Challenge
Directions:
Step 1. Pick one of the essay topics
Step 2: Come up write an attention grabber for this topic that uses your team’s assigned Strategy
Step 3: Be Prepared to demonstrate it to the class
1. In your team, come up with one
1. Ask a question –
2. Use an anecdote or story –
3. Give a definition –
4. Use a quote –
5. Use an analogy –
6. Use humor –
7. Relate a personal experience –
8. Give a demonstration –
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How To Write Good Conclusions
A Good Conclusion
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stress the importance of the thesis statement,
give the essay a sense of completeness, and leave a final impression on the reader.
Suggestions for How to Write Conclusions:
Answer the question "So What?" Show your readers why this paper was important. Show them that your paper
was meaningful and useful.
 Synthesize, don't summarize
Don't simply repeat things that were in your paper. They have read it. Show them how the points you made and
the support and examples you used were not random, but fit together.
 Redirect your readers
Give your reader something to think about, perhaps a way to use your paper in the "real" world. If your
introduction went from general to specific, make your conclusion go from specific to general. Think
globally.
 Create a new meaning
You don't have to give new information to create a new meaning. By
demonstrating how your ideas work together,
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you can create a new picture. Often the sum of the paper is worth more than its parts.
Strategies:
Echoing the introduction:
Echoing your introduction can be a good strategy if it is meant to bring the reader full-circle. If you begin
by describing a scenario, you can end with the same scenario as proof that your essay was helpful in
creating a new understanding. Example
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Introduction
From the parking lot, I could see the towers of the castle of the Magic Kingdom standing stately against
the blue sky. To the right, the tall peak of The Matterhorn rose even higher. From the left, I could hear
the jungle sounds of Adventureland. As I entered the gate, Main Street stretched before me with its
quaint shops evoking an old-fashioned small town so charming it could never have existed. I was
entranced. Disneyland may have been built for children, but it brings out the child in adults.
Conclusion
I thought I would spend a few hours at Disneyland, but here I was at 1:00 A.M., closing time, leaving
the front gates with the now dark towers of the Magic Kingdom behind me. I could see tired children,
toddling along and struggling to keep their eyes open as best they could. Others slept in their parents'
arms as we waited for the parking lot tram that would take us to our cars. My forty-year-old feet ached,
and I felt a bit sad to think that in a couple of days I would be leaving California, my vacation over, to
go back to my desk. But then I smiled to think that for at least a day I felt ten years old again.
What did you like about this strategy?
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
Challenging the reader:
By issuing a challenge to your readers, you are helping them to redirect the information in the paper, and
they may apply it to their own lives.
Example
Though serving on a jury is not only a civic responsibility but also an interesting experience, many people still
view jury duty as a chore that interrupts their jobs and the routine of their daily lives. However, juries are part of
America's attempt to be a free and just society. Thus, jury duty challenges us to be interested and responsible
citizens.
Looking to the future:
Looking to the future can emphasize the importance of your paper or redirect the readers' thought process. It
may help them apply the new information to their lives or see things more globally.

Example
Without well-qualified teachers, schools are little more than buildings and equipment. If higher-paying careers
continue to attract the best and the brightest students, there will not only be a shortage of teachers, but the
teachers available may not have the best qualifications. Our youth will suffer. And when youth suffers, the
future suffers.

Posing questions:
Posing questions, either to your readers or in general, may help your readers gain a new perspective on the topic,
which they may not have held before reading your conclusion. It may also bring your main ideas together to
create a new meaning.
Example
Campaign advertisements should help us understand the candidate's qualifications and positions on the issues. Instead,
most tell us what a boob or knave the opposing candidate is, or they present general images of the candidate as a family
person or God-fearing American. Do such advertisements contribute to creating an informed electorate or a people who
choose political leaders the same way they choose soft drinks and soap?
*This information was courtesy of LEO: Literacy Education Online
Question:
Now that you have read about introductions and conclusions, what questions do you still have?
1.
2.
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Body Paragraph Design
Developed paragraphs are the essential substance of all college writing. Paragraphs
serve as the body of a paper. In this class, you will learn how to write developed
paragraphs.
Here is what developed paragraphs need:
1. POINT = TOPIC SENTENCE
2. INFO = SUPPORT EXAMPLES
3. EXPLANATION = CONCLUSION
POINT
Every paragraph needs only ONE main idea. Effective college paragraphs are
FOCUSED on the same idea the whole way through the paragraph. Because it’s not
necessarily natural for our brains to communicate ideas in a straightforward way, writers
must work to maintain FOCUS by keeping reminding themselves of the POINT and
REVISING* when focus is lost. It’s easy to lose focus and all writers do, that’s why
REVISION* is so important.
INFORMATION
EXAMPLES are the meat of your paragraph. The most important thing about
EXAMPLES is for them to be specific. Remember, specific is terrific! EXAMPLES can
come from your own experiences, your observations, others’ experiences, the internet,
film/television, magazines, books. Remember, only use your own ideas for examples or
be sure to use “QUOTATION MARKS” if the ideas/words belong to someone else.
EXPLANATION
After your write EXAMPLES, it’s important to explain fully how the EXAMPLES
develop the POINT. Think of someone saying “so what?” to the example you give,
meaning why is this example important? How does this example connect to the POINT?
Your explanation will be the written answer to those questions. Thinking about and then
explaining your examples is how you develop ideas critically. Oftentimes ideas make
sense in our head, but as writers we need to make the ideas in our head translate to the
words on the page.
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What is Purpose?
Brainstorm:
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Class Definition of PURPOSE:
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________
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I. Paragraph Writing--Purpose
Effective writing needs to have a main idea. This central idea is what we refer to as the
PURPOSE of your writing. Simply put, the PURPOSE of your writing is the main idea you want your
audience to know. The purpose should be clearly presented in your writing, and all the examples and
ideas expressed in the essay or story should connect in some fashion to this main idea. The purpose
doesn’t need to be expressed in the first sentence, as writers often don’t arrive at a central focus until
they have written some ideas first and considered specific examples. As you revise your writing, you
can clarify and tighten your purpose and consider how all the ideas and examples go together.
Remember, it’s okay if your ideas go off in other directions from the purpose while you’re drafting
your piece of writing, as long as you connect your ideas back together during the revision.
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Sample Paragraphs
Step 1: Read the paragraphs below
Step 2: Underline the Point, bracket the examples
Step 3: Determine which one has a clearer and stronger PIE throughout that works to
make the writing more cohesive.
Paragraph #1
My favorite book is The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros because I could
really relate to the characters. I usually don’t read that much because it takes me so long, but I
had to read this book for my class. I prefer science to English any day of the week. This book
surprised me because I was laughing and almost even cried a few times. Cisneros is such a
pretty writer. She can say something that sounds so simple, but it just grabs at your heart and
you find yourself nodding in agreement. My father was teasing me because I had my face in a
book instead of staring at the “boob tube” like I usually do. He only teases me when he’s
happy. I know he was proud because he sees I’m trying to be a good student. It’s important for
him that I do well in school so I can have advantages that he never did. Actually, like some of
the characters in Cisneros’ book. My mother wants me to be a polite and helpful and doesn’t
seem to care as much about my school until I bring home a bad grade! She reminded me of the
mother in the book at times. I did really well on my paper about The House on Mango Street
and I think it was because I could really understand how the characters felt. I bet that Cisneros
and I have had some of the same experiences in our lives. I would really like to meet her and
say thank you. Thank you for writing a book that made me want to be a great student.
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Paragraph #2
My favorite book is The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros because I can
really relate to how the characters understand each other and how the family struggles to find
happiness. Although I’m not a big reader, I was immediately drawn into the book because of
the characters. The characters were like people in my family. When I was reading, I kept
thinking: “I know these people!” And sometimes as I continued to read I thought, “Wow,
Cisneros must know me because these are things I think!” Because of Cisneros’ writing style I
was quickly able to understand and relate to her characters’ personalities, voices, and
situations. She can say something that sounds so simple, but it would just grab at my heart and
I found myself nodding in agreement. For example, like one of the characters I have been
ashamed of living in a poor neighborhood. But also like Cisneros’ characters, my family is
strong, proud, and extremely loving despite the often-difficult circumstances. Although my
family has struggled in the past to find our success and happiness, we are always together and
united just like Cisneros’ characters. Even though I’ll probably never meet Cisneros, I know
that our shared experiences in life will continue to unite us. She represents the voice of my
family, and that is a voice I want to not only read but also strive to speak—and write—clearly
and loudly and thoughtfully as a student and a person.
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PARAGRAPH PURPOSE CHECKLIST
1. Does the paragraph only have ONE main idea?
2. What is the MAIN IDEA/PURPOSE?
3. Underline the EXAMPLES that support the PURPOSE.
4. Draw a squiggly line under any EXAMPLES that don’t support the PURPOSE.
1. Does the paragraph only have ONE main idea?
2. What is the MAIN IDEA/PURPOSE?
3. Underline the EXAMPLES that support the PURPOSE.
4. Draw a squiggly line under any EXAMPLES that don’t support the PURPOSE.
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II. Paragraph Writing—Support/Examples
No matter how well you express your ideas in writing, you still need to remember to include
examples, or your writing will be incomplete. It’s very important that you support your ideas and
thinking with specific examples. The definition of examples will evolve as you evolve as a writer (and
depending on the subject you write about), but for this course, examples come from your observations
and experiences of the world around you. You don’t need to do research (although you can if you
like!) to provide examples in your writing for this class. But you do need to support you ideas with
SPECIFIC and DETAILED examples from your (or others’) experiences/observations. The developed
description of your personal experiences and observations will work to support your ideas. You can
also ask others to share their experiences or observations. This is called expert testimony. Remember,
with your experiences (things that have happened to you) and observations (things you’ve witnessed)
there are no right or wrong answers, but it’s important that your examples connect to your writing
purpose. The examples should work in cohesion with all the other ideas in the piece of writing.
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Sample Paragraphs--Support/Examples
Read the paragraphs below and determine which one has more specific and detailed
support/examples. Consider the PURPOSE of the writing and the overall CENRAL IDEA. Effective
writing contains clear direction and purpose as it works to develop ideas.
I have a difficult time accomplishing all that I need to get done in a given day because I have
too many things to do, plus I can be a procrastinator. Since I’m a student at DeAnza, I have lots of
difficult classes—especially math. I work part-time in my aunt’s store and help her with inventory and
some computer stuff. My friends take up a fair amount of time too. I like to spend time with people
who really understand me and nobody gets me as well as my group of friends. We’ve all been friends a
really long time—since grade school! Sometimes I put off doing the homework and reading I need to
get done for my classes because I’m with my friends. I’m taking 16 units, which really demands a lot
of time. I usually don’t do my homework until midnight and by then I’m really tired.
I have a difficult time accomplishing all that I need to get done in a given day because I’m
extremely busy working toward my future. I’m taking 16 units at DeAnza so that I can eventually
transfer to San Jose State and get a business degree. I know that I have a mind for business because
I’ve worked in my aunt’s store since I was a kid. Now I still work there part-time, helping her with
inventory and some computer stuff. Between being a full-time student and working part-time, I have a
difficult time completing all that I need to do every day; however, I know that if I stay focused and
work hard I’ll meet my goals successfully. Of course, like everyone, I wish I could have more leisure
time to spend with my friends, but I believe in my bright future. So for now, I have to be busy every
day. I might be tired, but I know it’s worth it.
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PARAGRAPH SUPPORT/EXAMPLES CHECKLIST
1. Who is the mentor in the paragraph? What PURPOSE has this mentor served?
2. Underline all EXAMPLES that support the PURPOSE.
3. Bracket any EXAMPLES that could use more SPECIFIC/CONCRETE language.
4. Squiggle underline any EXAMPLES that don’t support the PURPOSE.
1. Who is the mentor in the paragraph? What PURPOSE has this mentor served?
2. Underline all EXAMPLES that support the PURPOSE.
3. Bracket any EXAMPLES that could use more SPECIFIC/CONCRETE language.
4. Squiggle underline any EXAMPLES that don’t support the PURPOSE.
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III. Paragraph Writing--Conclusion/ So What?
You might be wondering, once I have a purpose and examples in my writing, isn’t it complete?
How do I end my writing? Do I need a conclusion? Well, yes and no. You don’t need a formal
conclusion; however, toward the end of your writing, you should develop your thinking further, make
connections and provide some critical thinking. The simple way to develop your ideas further is to
think about the purpose of your writing and then ask yourself “so what?”—What do you ultimately
want your audience to know based on what you’ve already told them? What are the causes of the ideas
you’ve been writing about? What are the consequences of what you’ve been writing about? Consider
what lasting impression you want to leave your audience. Is there some action you think your readers
(or others) should take? Think about how your writing purpose relates to your examples. This is an
opportunity to provide cohesion in your writing. The “conclusion/so what?” part of your writing can
be just a few sentences, or it can be more; it will be at the end of your writing.
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Sample Paragraphs--Conclusion
Read the paragraphs and determine which has a more developed and thoughtful CONCLUSION and
considers “SO WHAT?” to the main idea. Push your thinking as far as you can here to develop all
ideas fully and expressively.
My greatest obstacle is staying focused on school because I don’t find it that interesting or
inspiring. I know that I need an education in order to succeed, but my classes are just boring
sometimes. I want a career, but I know that I can’t keep doing poorly in my classes. I guess my brain
just doesn’t pickup information in the same way, but I do know that I’m good at art—drawing
specifically. I find art interesting, and if I could go to art school I think I’d be more likely to do my
homework and listen in class. It’s funny because I don’t even think of studying art as difficult or work
at all because it just kind of fills me up with ideas. I get excited about a drawing and can’t stop
working on it or thinking about it. I wish that I knew more about art history, but I love looking at art in
books, online, and I’ve been to the MOMA in San Francisco twice.
My greatest obstacle is staying focused on school because I don’t find it that interesting or
inspiring. I know that I need an education in order to succeed, but my classes are just boring and
confusing sometimes. I want a career, but I know that I can’t keep doing poorly in my classes. I guess
my brain just doesn’t pickup information in the same way, but I do know that I’m good at art—
drawing specifically. I find art interesting, and if I could go to art school I think I’d be more likely to
do my homework and listen in class. It’s funny because I don’t even think of studying art as difficult or
work at all because it just kind of fills me up with ideas. I get excited about a drawing and can’t stop
working on it or thinking about it. I wish that I knew more about art history, but I love looking at art in
books, online, and I’ve been to the MOMA in San Francisco twice. I love everything from landscapes
to Picasso, and I think I can even learn from Jackson Pollock’s spattered post-modern work. I’ve
decided that artists probably aren’t going to find all traditional education interesting or inspiring, so we
must turn to each other in the world of art and speak our own language through images.
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PARAGRAPH CONCLUSION/SO WHAT? CHECKLIST
1. What is the PURPOSE of the paragraph?
2. Underline all the EXAMPLES that work to SUPPORT the PURPOSE.
3. Squiggle underline where the EXAMPLES use CONCRETE/SPECIFIC and
SENSORY LANGUAGE. Bracket where more could be added.
4. Are all the examples explained fully? Put a star where more explanation could be
added.
5. Does the CONCLUSION/SO WHAT? Explain how the EXAMPLES work to
SUPPORT the PURPOSE?
1. What is the PURPOSE of the paragraph?
2. Underline all the EXAMPLES that work to SUPPORT the PURPOSE.
3. Squiggle underline where the EXAMPLES use CONCRETE/SPECIFIC and
SENSORY LANGUAGE. Bracket where more could be added.
4. Are all the examples explained fully? Put a star where more explanation could be
added.
5. Does the CONCLUSION/SO WHAT? Explain how the EXAMPLES work to
SUPPORT the PURPOSE?
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PIE PARAGRAPHS
Point
The Point Information Explanation Paragraph
1. Must be an argumentative opinion.
2. State the main point and message your will prove in the paragraph.
3. Must answer the reader’s question: “How does this supports the thesis statement.”
Information
Quoted facts, data, examples, quotes, paraphrases, personal observations &
experience.
Must answer the reader’s question: “What information does the writer provide to
support the point?”
Explanation
Commentary, analysis, evaluation.
Must answer the reader’s questions: “How does the writer explain the connection
between the information and the point or the thesis statement? What does the writer
learn from the information? How does the writer react to the information? What does
the writer think about the information?
PIE Strategies for Writers
How to make a Point
 Decide what you want to say to support your thesis based on your reaction to the text.
 Construct an argumentative sentence that has a topic/comment structure and connects
to your thesis.
Where to find Information
 Paraphrases or short quotes from the readings/research.
 Personal experiences (anecdotes, stories, examples from your life)
 Quotes from mass media (newspapers, magazines, television, radio)
 Quotes from popular culture (song lyrics, movie lines, TV characters, celebrities)
 Quotes form Statistics (polls, percentages, data)
 Quoted Definitions (from the dictionary, readings, another sources)
How to craft an Explanation
 Interpret the information – what does it mean? Why is it important?
 Explain what you or a reader can learn from the information.
 State your opinion about or evaluate the information.
 Comment on the accuracy or inaccuracy of the information.
 Suggest how the information relates to your thesis.
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Do You Have Enough E in Your PIE?
Worried you don’t have enough E in your PIE? Asking (and answering) yourself how, why, and what
questions can lead you to the E you need.
•
What is the most important idea that the readers should get from this paragraph?
•
Why is this information important? What does it suggest to me? To readers?
•
How do my examples help me prove my point to the readers?
•
Why did I choose that quote? How does it help me?
•
How can I introduce my quote or example to help readers see where I’m going with it?
•
How can I state this idea another way to make sure the readers understand my point?
•
What are some consequences/results/implications/ramifications of the information I just gave
the reader?
•
How is the information I’ve presented related to my overall point for this paragraph?
•
Is the idea in the topic sentence fully explained? Do I need another sentence ot elaborate on
what I mean?
•
How is this information related to my overall thesis, or to other points I make in this paper?
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EWRT 200/211 PIE Paragraph Structure for Personal Examples
P = Point
What is the point of this paragraph? The Point, A.K.A. the topic sentence, is the
argument that you will prove for the paragraph. The Point is the claim or assertion (or
opinion) you will make in your paragraph and prove to your audience. Remember, each
paragraph should only have one Point.
I = Information #1
Where is the Point supported with specific information? The information consists of
supporting material. Consider using a variety of kinds of Information to support your
point, like the following:
E = Experts*
statements of people who know about the topic
D = Descriptive
Details
color, shape, size, smell, taste, sound or feel of
something
*One technique for using Experts in your Information is to cite experts by quoting
them using a Personal Example Sandwich.
Example Sandwich
Bread #1
Thoroughly introduce the quote, speaker, context, and why you are
using it.
Meat
The example with lots of descriptive details. (Meat = I in PIE)
Bread #2
(mini-E)
Explain what the example means in your own words, and how you
interpret the details of the example. Then, explain how the example
supports the Point and why you chose this quote instead of others.
(Bread #2 = E in PIE.)
E = Explanation
Where the writer elaborates, evaluates, and/or explain why or how this Information,
connects to the Point and what this information means? Remember to thoroughly explain how the
examples work together to prove your Point. Explain all your thinking fully.
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EWRT 200/211 PIE Paragraph Structure with Quote Sandwiches
P = Point
What is the point of this paragraph? The Point, A.K.A. the topic sentence, is the
argument that you will prove for the paragraph. The Point is the claim or assertion (or
opinion) you will make in your paragraph and prove to your audience. Remember, each
paragraph should only have one Point.
Information #2:
*One technique for using Experts in your Illustration is to cite experts by quoting
them using a Quote Sandwich.
Quote Sandwich
Bread #1
Thoroughly introduce the example, speaker, context, and why you are
using it.
Meat
Quote + Citation. (Meat = I in PIE)
Bread #2
(mini-E)
Explain what the quote means in your own words, and how you
interpret the details of the quote. Then, explain how the quote supports
the Point and why you chose this quote instead of others. (Bread #2 = E
in PIE.)
E = Explanation
Where the writer elaborates, evaluates, and/or explain why or how this Information,
connects to the Point and what this information means? Remember to thoroughly explain how the
examples work together to prove your Point. Explain all your thinking fully.
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PIE Paragraph Structure for Research Papers
P = Point
What is the point of this paragraph? The Point, A.K.A. the topic sentence, is the argument that
you will prove for the paragraph. The Point is the claim or assertion (or opinion) you will make
in your paragraph and prove to your audience. Remember, each paragraph should only have one
Point.
I = Information #1
Where is the Point supported with specific information? The information consists of supporting
material. Consider using a variety of kinds of Information to support your point, like the
following:
E = Experts*
statements of people who know about the topic
D = Descriptive
Details
color, shape, size, smell, taste, sound or feel of
something
*One technique for using Experts in your Information is to cite experts by quoting them using
a Quote Sandwich.
Quote Sandwich
Bread #1
Thoroughly introduce the quote, speaker, context, and why you are using it.
Meat
The quote. (Meat = I in PIE)
Bread #2
(mini-E)
Explain what the quote means in your own words, and how you interpret the
details of the quote. Then, explain how the quote supports the Point and why
you chose this quote instead of others. (Bread #2 = E in PIE.)
Information #2:
*One technique for using Experts in your Illustration is to cite experts by quoting them using a
Quote Sandwich.
Quote Sandwich
Bread #1
Thoroughly introduce the quote, speaker, context, and why you are using it.
Meat
The quote. (Meat = I in PIE)
Bread #2
(mini-E)
Explain what the quote means in your own words, and how you interpret the
details of the quote. Then, explain how the quote supports the Point and why
you chose this quote instead of others. (Bread #2 = E in PIE.)
E = Explanation Where the writer elaborates, evaluates, and/or explain why or how this Information, connects to the Point
and what this information means? Remember to thoroughly explain how the examples work together to prove
your Point. Explain all your thinking fully.
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A Definition Paragraph Argument
To write a definition paragraph, you’ll need to define a word/term that: 1.
has a complex meaning 2.
is disputable (could mean different things to different people) It wouldn't be wise to choose a word like "cat" for a definition essay. The word, "cat" has a pretty simple meaning, so we'll have trouble writing an entire essay about it. Similarly, not many people disagree over the definition of the word "cat," which means our definition will be short and ordinary. What about choosing to define the word, “family”? Let’s check it out! Does it have a complex meaning? Yes, I could discuss the different types of families that exist in my community. Is the word disputable? Yes, I could explain that even though the other women on my sports team aren't blood relatives, they are a kind of family. Optional: Could I discuss the word's origin in a meaningful way? Yes, look up the word’s origin in the Oxford English Dictionary for additional essay ideas! P = Point
What is the term you are defining? The Point, A.K.A. the topic sentence, is the
argument for your definition of the term that you will prove for the paragraph.
Remember, each paragraph should only have one Point so you can only have one
definition.
Information #2:
*One technique for using Experts in your Illustration is to cite experts by quoting
them using a Quote Sandwich.
Quote Sandwich
Bread #1
Thoroughly introduce the example, speaker, context, and why you are
using it.
Meat
Quote (a definition of the term) + Citation. (Meat = I in PIE)
Bread #2
(mini-E)
Explain why you chose this definition instead of other and how you
interpret the details of the quote. Then, explain how the quote supports
the Point and why you chose this quote instead of others. (Bread #2 = E
in PIE.)
E = Explanation
Where the writer elaborates, evaluates, and/or explain why or how this Information,
connects to the Point and what this information means? Remember to thoroughly explain how the
examples work together to prove your Point. Explain all your thinking fully.
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Types of Papers: Narrative/Descriptive
• To write a narrative/descriptive essay, you’ll need to tell a story (usually about something that happened to
you or someone you interview) in such a way that he audience learns a lesson or gains insight.
• To write a descriptive essay, you’ll need to describe a person, object, or event so vividly that the reader feels
like he/she could reach out and touch it.
Tips for writing effective narrative and descriptive essays:
1. Tell a story about a moment or event that means a lot to you--it will make it easier for you to tell the
story in an interesting way!
2. Get right to the action! Avoid long introductions and lengthy descriptions--especially at the beginning
of your narrative.
3. Make sure your story has a point! Describe what you learned from this experience.
4. Use all five of your senses to describe the setting, characters, and the plot of your story. Don't be afraid
to tell the story in your own voice. Nobody wants to read a story that sounds like a textbook!
How to Write Vivid Descriptions
Having trouble describing a person, object, or event for your narrative or descriptive essay? Try filling out this
chart:
What do you
What do you taste?
What do you
What do you hear?
What might you touch or
smell?
see?
feel?
Remember: Avoid simply telling us what something looks like--tell us how it tastes, smells, sounds, or
feels!
Consider this…
Virginia rain smells different from a California drizzle.
A mountain breeze feels different from a sea breeze.
We hear different things in one spot, depending on the time of day.
You can “taste” things you’ve never eaten: how would sunscreen taste?
Using Specific/Concrete Details for Narratives
Effective narrative essays allow readers to visualize everything that's happening, in their minds. One way to
make sure that this occurs is to use concrete, rather than abstract, details.
Concrete Language…
…makes the story or image seem clearer and more
real to us.
…gives us information that we can easily grasp
and perhaps empathize with.
Abstract Language…
...makes the story or image difficult to visualize.
…leaves your reader feeling empty, disconnected,
and possibly
confused.
What is Abstract Language?
The word “abstract” might remind you of modern art. An abstract painting, for example, does not normally
contain recognizable objects. In other words, we can't look at the painting and immediately say "that's a house"
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or "that's a bowl of fruit." To the untrained eye, abstract art looks a bit like a child's finger-painting--just
brightly colored splotches on a canvas.
Avoid abstract/vague language—it won’t help the reader understand what you're trying to say!
Examples:
Abstract Example: It was a nice day.
Concrete: The sun was shining and a slight breeze blew across my face.
Your Turn:
Practice Exercise #1 on Abstract Vs. Concrete:
1. I liked writing poems, not essays.
• Abstract or Concrete
• Explain why you picked your answer: (Hint: Point out any abstract or concrete words)
2. I liked writing short, rhythmic poems and hated rambling on about my thoughts in those fourpage essays.
• Abstract or Concrete
• Explain why you picked your answer: (Hint: Point out any abstract or concrete words)
3. Mr. Smith was a great teacher.
• Abstract or Concrete
• Explain why you picked your answer: (Hint: Point out any abstract or concrete words)
4. Mr. Smith really knew how to help us turn our thoughts into good stories and essays.
• Abstract or Concrete
• Explain why you picked your answer: (Hint: Point out any abstract or concrete words)
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35
Transitions
What is the Function of Transitional Words?
Single words can signal levels of importance, connections, and the direction of thoughts. For example,
after a friend begins a sentence with "I like you very much," would you prefer that the next word be
"and" or "however"? The word "and" signals more of the same, hinting that you could anticipate
another pleasant compliment. On the other hand, "however" signals a change of thought, so brace
yourself for a negative remark. If the next word were "consequently" or "therefore," you could
anticipate a positive result or reward for the positive feelings.
Such words are transitions or signal words that connect parts of the sentences and lead readers to
anticipate a continuation or a change in the writer's thoughts. Transitions also reveal organizational
patterns.
Patterns of Organization and Their Signal Words:
Addition (providing additional examples):
furthermore, again, also, further, moreover, besides,
likewise, and, indeed, in addition, too, next, first,
second
Cause and Effect (showing one element as
producing or causing a result or effect):
because, for this reason, consequently, hence,
as a result, thus, due to, therefore, if, so, since
Concession (acknowledging the merits of the
counter argument before reasserting an opinion):
whereas, granted that, even though, though, yet,
while, although
Illustration (explaining using examples):
that is, for example, to illustrate, for instance, in fact,
specifically, as seen in
Comparison (listing similarities among items):
in a similar way, similarly, parallels, likewise, in a
like manner, also, in the same manner
Contrast (listing differences among items):
on the other hand, more than, but, however,
conversely, on the contrary, although, nevertheless,
still, in contrast, yet, even though
Definition (defining a concept and expanding with
examples and restatements):
can be defined, means, for example, like, in short,
specifically
Description (listing characteristics or details
Using vivid language):
is, as, like, could be described (using adjectives,
adverbs and language that touches on the senses)
Location or Spatial Order (identifying the
whereabouts of objects or people):
next to, near, below, above, close by, within,
without, beside, around, to the right or left, opposite
Narration or Time Order (listing events in order
of occurrence):
first, second, finally, after, before, next, later, now, at
last, until, thereupon, while, during, as, meanwhile,
then, while, immediately
Simple Listing (randomly listing items in a
series):
also, another, several, for example
Summary (condensing major points):
in conclusion, to restate, briefly, to sum up,
in short, in a nutshell, in other words, therefore,
in summary
36
Topic Sentences
Topic sentences are the “thesis statements” of paragraphs; therefore, they are both a part of keeping
the promise made by the thesis, as well as a sub-promise that should be kept by the paragraphs.
They are usually the first sentence in the paragraph. The reader expects topic sentences to provide
proof of one aspect of the thesis sentence as well as to provide an indication of what will follow in
the paragraph.
A topic sentence is NOT simply a statement of fact. A fact does not contain any controlling ideas
that can be easily explained, described, illustrated or analyzed.
There are two kinds of topic sentences:
1. A statement of opinion
A statement of opinion contains some form of judgment and the paragraph will support the
opinion in the topic sentence.
Example: The computer is the greatest invention of the twentieth century.
2. A statement of intent
A statement of intent contains no opinion; instead, it informs the reader of what will be
objectively explained in the paragraph.
Example: The common seasoning monosodium glutamate (MSG) has negative side effects.
Topic Sentence Functions
An effective topic sentence:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Relates to the thesis.
Sets up a claim, assertion, argument, evaluation, analysis.
Contains controlling ideas about the topic that need to be developed in the sentences that follow.
Is the most general sentence in the paragraph.
Orients the reader.
Provides a context for understanding what follows.
Explains the relationships among elements.
Summarizes the rest of the paragraph.
Promises what will follow.
37
Guidelines for Topic Sentences
A topic sentence must be a complete sentence to perform all the necessary functions.
•
Weak:
The type of birth control that should be provided by schools.
•
Better:
To prevent unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases,
schools should provide every form of non-prescription birth control available.
A topic sentence must predict or promise what follows, so it cannot be a question.
•
Weak:
Should schools provide free computers for their students?
•
Better:
Since schools should assist students in their studies and prepare them for their
future careers, they must offer students the technological advantage of free
and easy access to computers.
Phrases such as “I think” or “in my opinion” may muddle or weaken topic sentences.
Your writing is always your opinion, so you don’t need these phrases unless they are
central to the idea that you are trying to convey.
•
Weak:
I think that it is important for every woman to carry mace or pepper spray.
•
Better:
As violent criminals take over the city streets, women must carry mace or
pepper spray to protect themselves.
The topic sentence should provide clear relationships among all of its elements so that it
can provide a framework for understanding the rest of the paragraph.
•
Weak:
Historians record only dry statistics; we should read novels.
•
Better:
Accurate historical novels give us a deeper understanding of the past than
do the dry collection of facts and statistics that pass for history texts.
A topic sentence needs to be clear and specific enough that it can predict and summarize the
rest of the paragraph for the reader.
•
Weak:
Public transit is terrible.
•
Better:
Incapable of providing reliable, comfortable service, the San Francisco
Municipal Transit system is failing its ridership.
38
Because the topic sentence is a reference for the rest of the paragraph, it needs to be
exceptionally clear. If there is figurative language in a topic sentence, the wording should be
such that the reader does not need to understand the allusion to understand the sentence.
•
Weak:
The Surgeon General must be the Hercules that slays the Hydra of chemical
addictions.
Better:
As Hercules slew Hydra, the Surgeon General must defeat the many-headed
monster that is chemical addiction.
Other Sentence Functions
The rest of the paragraph must:
• Fulfill the promise set by the topic sentence.
• Be on the same topic.
• Relate to each other and the topic sentence in a manner established by the topic sentence.
•
Exercise: Read the sentences below, and determine which are points/claims that would make
good topic sentences and which are facts that would work better as supporting information.
Sample Sentence
1. Preserving local food traditions is an important component of maintaining
cultural diversity even as world food production becomes more industrialized
and standardized.
This would work
better as…
Topic Sentence
Supporting Info.
2. The “locavores” are a San Francisco-based group that challenges people to
try an eat food grown and produced within a 100-mile radius of their homes.
Topic Sentence
Supporting Info.
3. Eating local, seasonal produce is better not only for the environment, but
Also for your taste buds.
Topic Sentence
Supporting Info.
4. Alice Walker’s restaurant Chez Panisse first opened in Berkeley, California
in 1971.
Topic Sentence
Supporting Info.
39
Topic Sentence Practice
In expository prose — writing that informs, explains or analyzes — the main point of a paragraph is
usually indicated in a single sentence at the beginning of the paragraph, and this sentence is called
the topic sentence. Because it will have to hold all the following sentences together in unity, the
topic sentence will be the paragraph’s most general and inclusive sentence. In short, it tells the
reader what the paragraph is about and the information that follows — specific examples, details,
explanations — must be related to the idea or assertion introduced by the topic sentence.
The key to writing good topic sentences is not to make them too broad (all-encompassing) or too
specific (restrictive). Good topic sentences assist the reader in understanding and following the
direction of the writer’s ideas.
Exercise: The topic sentence of the paragraph below has been removed. Read the paragraph carefully and then
choose the best topic sentence among the four choices below. Be prepared to explain your choice.
___________________________________________. This belief is especially common among
weightlifters who often consume large quantities of high-protein foods and dietary supplements,
thinking it will improve their athletic performance. Like weightlifters, football players consume too
much protein, expecting it to produce additional muscle energy. Although it is true that muscles
contain more protein than other tissues, there is no evidence that a high-protein diet actually
constructs more muscle tissue than a normal diet. Nutritionists point out that muscle cells grow not
from excess protein but from exercise: when a muscle is used, it pulls in protein for its consumption.
This is how a muscle grows and strengthens. If athletes want to increase their muscle mass, then
they must exercise in addition to following a well-balanced, normal diet.
1. Many people believe in false ideas.
2. I don’t believe anything the nutritionists say because they are always changing their
minds about what is good and bad for our health.
3. Many athletes falsely believe that protein improves athletic performance by
increasing muscle mass.
4. My brother, a weightlifter, is an example of someone who consumes a lot of protein
because he thinks it will make him bulky.
40
Questions to Ask About Topic Sentences
 Is the topic sentence the most general statement in the paragraph?
 Does the topic sentence make a claim that a) requires further explanation, b) raises
questions, or c) demands proof?
 Is the topic sentence narrow enough to be covered in one paragraph but broad
enough to be developed?
 Does the topic sentence fit what you’re trying to say?
Exercise: Which of the following could work as topic sentences? Briefly state why or why not.
1. Many things contribute to this perfume ad’s central message.
2. In this advertisement for Kool cigarettes, the dominant colors — a deep aqua blue and
refreshing green — contribute to the ad’s central message, creating a peaceful and serene
setting that lures us into a magical world of escape.
3. The movie “Pulp Fiction” starred Uma Thurman and John Travolta.
4. Many things happen in the sitcom, “Married . . . With Children.”
5. One particular scene of “Mad About You” demonstrates that Paul and Jamie Buchman love
each other very much, yet struggle with the challenges of understanding one another, just as
any newly married couple does.
6. Bart Simpson goes to the store in search of aspirin for his headache.
7. A lot of evidence in this episode of “Cheers” reveals that Sam Malone is a self-absorbed,
womanizing pinhead.
41
Quotations
Writing from sources is a sophisticated skill that includes being able to distinguish when to quote and when to paraphrase
and how to integrate direct quotations smoothly into your writing. Whether quoting or paraphrasing, you always need to
give your source(s) credit.
A Warning on Plagiarism:
To be fair and ethical, you must always acknowledge your debt to the writers of the sources you
use. If you don’t, you are guilty of plagiarism, a serious academic offense.
Four different acts are considered plagiarism:
(1) failing to cite quotations and borrowed ideas;
(2) failing to enclose borrowed language in quotation marks;
(3) failing to put summaries and paraphrases in your own words;
(4) mixing an author's phrases with your own without citation or quotes.
1. Smoothly integrate direct quotes into sentences of your own
Avoid Dropping Quotes:
Sometimes writers will make the mistake of simply dropping a quotation into their paragraph without integrating it into a
sentence of their own. For example:
Dropped quote: A number of journalists have been critical of genetic engineering. “The problem is, no one really
knows the long-term effects of such complex genetic manipulation—and the potential dangers to humans and the
environment are substantial” (Turner, 21).
Why is this so bad?
•
•
An un-integrated direct quote interrupts the flow of your writing, as the reader must jump abruptly from your words
to someone else’s and back again
If you’re not integrating direct quotations into your own writing, you’re probably
not giving your reader the context they need to understand the quote.
In order to successfully integrate quotations into your writing, you need to introduce or in some way lead into the quotation
so that readers know whose words are being quoted or can understand why the quotation is important. For example:
Integrated quote: A number of journalists have been critical of genetic engineering. Lisa Turner, in an article for the
magazine Better Nutrition, targets the unpredictable nature of this new technology : “The problem is, no one really
knows the long-term effects of such complex genetic manipulation—and the potential dangers to humans and the
environment are substantial” (21).
Provide Contextual Information for the Quote:
When connecting the quote into your sentence, consider how to convey the key pieces of information you might want to
include so the quote and its source are clear:
•
•
•
The title of the text the quote comes from
The page number in parenthesis (this is required)
The speaker of the quote if different from the author (for example, a character speaking in a story)
42
•
The author's name: generally include the full name in the first reference. Afterwards, refer to authors by last name.
If you don't include the name in the sentence, put it in the parenthetical citation. For example:
Author Named in the sentence:
For example: Flora Davis reports that a chimp at the Yerkes Primate Research Center “has combined words into new
sentences that she was never taught” (67).
Author Not Named in the sentence:
If the sentence connecting the quote does not include the author’s name, the author’s last name must appear in
parenthesis along with the page number. For example: The novel Monster: The Autobigraphy of an L.A. Gang
Member ends with these words of perseverance, "Gangsterism continues. But more importantly, the struggle to
eradicate the causes of gangsterism continues. And it is this struggle to which I am dedicated" (Scott 377).
Different Methods to Integrate Quotes into Your Sentences:
1) Identify the speaker and context of the quote
Example: Dee protests to her mother that her sister does not know the true value of the quilts, “Maggie can’t appreciate
these quilts! She’d probably be backward enough to put them to everyday use” (Walker 490).
2) Lead in with your own idea
Example: Miss Emily Grierson’s house is a reflection of her being out of sync with the times: “But garages and cotton gins
had encroached and obliterated even the august names of that neighborhood; only Miss Emily’s house was left, lifting its
stubborn and coquettish decay above the cotton wagons and gasoline pumps—an eyesore among eyesores”(Faulkner 459).
3) Formulas
• In (title of source), (author) writes/ argues/ explains/ describes, "quote" (#).
Example: In I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Maya Angelou writes, "In Stamps the segregation was so
complete that most Black children didn't really absolutely know what whites looked like" (20).
• According to (author) in (title), "quote" (#).
To avoid monotony, try to vary your formulas. The following models suggest a range of possibilities:
In the words of researcher Herbert Terrace, “…”
Jason Applegate, Smith’s trainer, points out, “…”
“…,” claims linguist Noam Chomsky.
Psychologist H.S. Terrace offers an odd argument for this view, “…”
Also, by choosing an appropriate verb, you can make your stance clear:
acknowledges
adds
admits
agrees
argues
asserts
believes
characterizes
claims
comments
compares
condemns
confirms
contends
contrasts
criticizes
declares
defends
demonstrates
denies
describes
disputes
distinguishes
emphasizes
endorses
explains
grants
identifies
illustrates
implies
insists
justifies
notes
observes
objects
points out
reasons
refutes
rejects
reports
responds
shows
suggests
supports
thinks
writes
wonders
43
Exercise: For each quote below, create a sentence that smoothly integrates the quote. Try a few different methods:
Method #1: Identify the speaker and context of the quote:
Quote: "On this island, you walk too far and people speak a different language. Their own words reveal who belongs on
what side"
Background information: From The Farming of Bones by Edwidge Danticat, the speaker is Senora Valencia, page 304.
Senora Valencia is referring to the island of Hispanola, which the countries of Haiti and the Dominican Republic share.
She is speaking during the times that the dictator Trujillo had many Haitians murdered in and exiled from the Dominican
Republic
Quote integrated into a sentence:
Method #2: Lead in with your own idea:
Quote: "They did not have the tanates to go up north and break through the wall of electric fences and enter the land of
plenty, the U.S. of A., a land so rich that what garbage they throw away in one day could feed entire pueblos."
Background information: From Macho! By Victor Villasenor, page 31. The book tells the story of young man named
Roberto from Michoacan who risks himself to go north to California to work as an illegal alien picking fruit in California.
Quote integrated into a sentence:
Method #3: Formula (try using a good and dynamic verb):
Quote: "Racial targeting and abuse by police is costly. U.S. taxpayers have paid tens of millions of dollars in police
brutality lawsuits. Between 1992 and 1993, Los Angeles county alone paid more than $30 million to citizens victimized by
police brutality."
Background information: From The Color of Crime by Katheryn K. Russell, page 45 who writes about the ways in which
African-Americans are misrepresented by the media and mistreated within the criminal system.
Quote integrated into a sentence:
44
3. Properly Punctuate Sentences that Integrate Quotations:
1.
Use quotations marks at the beginning and end of any word, phrase, line, or passage you
quote.
“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds,” wrote Ralph Waldo Emerson.
2.
Commas and periods go inside quotations marks.
After the professor stood up quietly and said, "I do not expect to continue at this position any longer," the other
professors at the meeting stared at her in amazement.
3. Periods go outside of parenthetical citations.
Malcolm X asserted, “Most students are potential revolutionaries…when you have an illegal, immoral, and unjust
situation, it should be changed" (54).
4. Semi-colons, colons, and dashes go outside quotation marks.
Baker focuses on two choices that cause young women "to be unclear about their goals": their interest in family life
and their desire for professional success.
4. Question marks and exclamation points go: inside quotation marks, if they are part of the original quotation, but
outside, if they are part of the sentence.
It was not all clear however, after the president exclaimed, “That is not an acceptable alternative!”
Did you ever hear of someone suggesting that we remove all windmills “super fast or immediately, which ever comes
first”?
5. Use square brackets whenever you need to substitute or add words to a quotation. You can change individual words
and then put them in brackets [ ] so that the quote fits your sentence grammatically. For example:
Sonny would “as soon as he came in from school, or wherever he had been when he was suppose to be at school [go]
straight to that piano and [stay] there until suppertime” (Baldwin 275).
6.
Single quotation marks are placed inside regular quotation marks when you have a quote within a quote.
Professor Stevens claimed that he "always asks his students Professor Begley's question about 'the meaning of a
college education’ in order to start off the discussion.”
7. Sometimes you will want to leave out material in the middle of a passage, quoting the most important words. When
you do this, use an ellipsis (...). Use three dots if the omitted passage does not contain a period and four dots if it does.
Fadiman observes that the doctors at MCMC “could hardly be expected to ‘respect’ their patients’ system of health
beliefs…since the medical schools they attended never informed them that diseases are caused by fugitive souls
and cured by jugulated chickens” (61).
45
8. If you decide to use a quotation of more than three lines, set it off from the rest of your essay by indenting about ten
spaces from either side and single-spacing the quotation. You do not need to put quotation marks around this block
quotation, unless it is actual dialogue.
In the essay "A Room Of One's Own," Woolf elaborates her argument for psychological androgyny:
And I went on amateurishly to sketch a plan of the soul so that in each of us two powers preside,
one male, one female. . . . The normal and comfortable state of being is that when the two live in
harmony together, spiritually cooperating. (Woolf 98)
This passage resonates distinctly with Freud's own theories on...
9. In deciding whether to quote or underline text titles, use the following guidelines:
 Use quotation marks (“ ”) around the titles of shorter works such as short stories, essays, articles, poems,
chapter names, song names.
SHORT STORY: Richard Christian Matheson's "Red"
ESSAY:
"A Tale of Two Sitcoms" by Steven D. Stark
ARTICLE:
"Generation Next" by Chris Smith
POEM :
Lois-Ann Yamanaka's "Haupu Mountain"
CHAPTER NAME: "Let's Go Mexico!" from How to Be a Chicana Role Model by Michele Serros
SONG:
"Livin' La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin

Italicize/Underline or italicize the titles of longer works such as books, novels, periodicals, newspapers, plays, movies, TV
series, and album names.
BOOK:
NOVEL:
PERIODICAL:
NEWSPAPER:
PLAY:
MOVIE:
TV SERIES:
ALBUM:
Errors & Expectations by Mina Shaughnessy
Island of the Sequined Love Nun by Christopher Moore
Newsweek
The San Francisco Bay Guardian
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead by Tom Stoppard
Chicken Run
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Less Than Jake's Losing Streak
46
Quote Sandwiches: The Secret to Using Direct Quotes
We use direct quotes for a number of reasons:
 To avoid plagiarism – using other people’s words without giving them credit
 To support and illustrate our claims
 To increase our credibility
 To validate all our points
Direct quotes do not substitute for your ideas; they enhance them!
INTIGRATING QUOTES INTO YOUR WRITING WITH A QUOTE SANDWICH:
1. TOP BREAD/The LEAD-IN introduces or leads into the quotation so that the readers know whose
words are being quoted and why the quotation is important.
2. THE MEAT/QUOTE AND CITATION: “to be or not be that is the question” (Shakespeare
22).
3. BOTTOM BREAD/The EXPLANTAION: After every quote, you must comment on the quotation so
that the reader understands its connection to the point you are making in your topic sentence.
Quote Sandwich Recipe:
LEAD-IN + QUOTE + CITATION + PERIOD + 1-3 sentences analyzing the quote’s importance.
Example: In “Meanings of Community” Thomas Bender asserts, “The sense of self and community may be
hard to distinguish”(1). What Bender means is that individuals no longer see themselves as a single person, but,
instead, an individual takes on the identity of the people they hang around.
Now it’s your turn:
Directions:

For each of the quotes below, use the quote sandwich to complete the quote.
1. Muriel Rukeyser: “Pay attention to what they tell you to forget”(434).
2. Astrid Alauda: “Television is an anesthetic for the pain of the modern world”(444).
47
Identifying Effective or Ineffective Quote Sandwiches
Directions:

In your group, discuss whether each quote effectively or ineffectively uses the quote formula.

Circle your answer.

Write down one reason why you made that choice.
According to Henry Miller, “Writing, like life itself, is a voyage of self-discovery”(437). What Miller means is
that every time we sit down to write we discover something new about ourselves and our perception of the
world.
Effective or Ineffective:
Why?
Grace says, “Don’t be afraid your life will end; be afraid your life will never begin”(Hansen
436).
Effective or Ineffective:
This quote by Korita Kent asserts, “Flowers grow out of dark moments”(436). She must have been a gardener.
Effective or Ineffective:
“A professional writer,” Richard Bach asserts, “is an amateur who didn’t quit”(437). Bach’s advice should be in
the back of every writing student’s head because it will inspire them to keep trying even when they want to give
up.
Effective or Ineffective:
Margaret Atwood characterizes the pain of a failed marriage by lamenting, “A divorce is like an amputation;
you survive, but there’s less of you”(434). Atwood is correct because no matter how civil people try to be in a
divorce, they always end up losing a part of themselves.
Effective or Ineffective:
48
Successful vs. unsuccessful paraphrases
Paraphrasing is often defined as putting a passage from an author into “your own words.” But what are your own words? How
different must your paraphrase be from the original?
The paragraphs below provide an example by showing a passage as it appears in the source, two paraphrases that follow the source
too closely, and a legitimate paraphrase.
Directions:
1.
For each of the paraphrases, please explain on a separate piece of paper why they are plagiarism or why they are ok,
2.
If they are plagiarism, explain how they could be fixed. BE SPECIFIC.
The Passage as It Appears in the Source
Critical care nurses function in a hierarchy of roles. In this open heart surgery unit, the nurse manager hires and fires the nursing
personnel. The nurse manager does not directly care for patients but follows the progress of unusual or long-term patients. On each
shift a nurse assumes the role of resource nurse. This person oversees the hour-by-hour functioning of the unit as a whole, such as
considering expected admissions and discharges of patients, ascertaining that beds are available for patients in the operating room,
and covering sick calls. Resource nurses also take a patient assignment. They are the most experienced of all the staff nurses. The
nurse clinician has a separate job description and provides for quality of care by orienting new staff, developing unit policies, and
providing direct support where needed, such as assisting in emergency situations. The clinical nurse specialist in this unit is mostly
involved with formal teaching in orienting new staff. The nurse manager, nurse clinician, and clinical nurse specialist are the
designated experts. They do not take patient assignments. The resource nurse is seen as both a caregiver and a resource to other
caregivers. . . . Staff nurses have a hierarchy of seniority. . . . Staff nurses are assigned to patients to provide all their nursing care.
(Chase 156)
Paragraph #1
Critical care nurses have a hierarchy of roles. The nurse manager hires and fires nurses. S/he does not directly care for patients but
does follow unusual or long-term cases. On each shift a resource nurse attends to the functioning of the unit as a whole, such as
making sure beds are available in the operating room, and also has a patient assignment. The nurse clinician orients new staff,
develops policies, and provides support where needed. The clinical nurse specialist also orients new staff, mostly by formal teaching.
The nurse manager, nurse clinician, and clinical nurse specialist, as the designated experts, do not take patient assignments. The
resource nurse is not only a caregiver but a resource to the other caregivers. Within the staff nurses there is also a hierarchy of
seniority. Their job is to give assigned patients all their nursing care.
Paragraph #2
Chase (1995) describes how nurses in a critical care unit function in a hierarchy that places designated experts at the top and the least
senior staff nurses at the bottom. The experts — the nurse manager, nurse clinician, and clinical nurse specialist — are not involved
directly in patient care. The staff nurses, in contrast, are assigned to patients and provide all their nursing care. Within the staff
nurses is a hierarchy of seniority in which the most senior can become resource nurses: they are assigned a patient but also serve as a
resource to other caregivers. The experts have administrative and teaching tasks such as selecting and orienting new staff,
developing unit policies, and giving hands-on support where needed.
Paragraph #3
In her study of the roles of nurses in a critical care unit, Chase also found a hierarchy that distinguished the roles of experts and
others. Just as the educational experts described above do not directly teach students, the experts in this unit do not directly attend to
patients. That is the role of the staff nurses, who, like teachers, have their own “hierarchy of seniority” (Chase 156). The roles of the
experts include employing unit nurses and overseeing the care of special patients (nurse manager), teaching and otherwise
integrating new personnel into the unit (clinical nurse specialist and nurse clinician), and policy-making (nurse clinician). In an
intermediate position in the hierarchy is the resource nurse, a staff nurse with more experience than the others, who assumes direct
care of patients as the other staff nurses do, but also takes on tasks to ensure the smooth operation of the entire facility. (Chase 156)
49
How to avoid plagiarism
When using secondary sources in your papers, you can avoid plagiarism by knowing what must be documented.
Specific words and
If you use an author's specific word or words, you must place those words within quotation marks
phrases
and you must credit the source.
USE QUOTES
Information
and Ideas
USE PARAPHRASE
Even if you use your own words, if you obtained the information or ideas you are presenting from a
source, you must document the source.
Information: If a piece of information isn’t common knowledge (see #3 below), you need to
provide a source.
Ideas: An author's ideas may include not only points made and conclusions drawn, but, for
instance, a specific method or theory, the arrangement of material, or a list of steps in a process or
characteristics of a medical condition. If a source provided any of these, you need to acknowledge
the source
You do not need to cite a source for material considered common knowledge:
Common
Knowledge?
General common knowledge is factual information considered to be in the public domain, such as
birth and death dates of well-known figures, and generally accepted dates of military, political,
literary, and other historical events. In general, factual information contained in multiple standard
reference works can usually be considered to be in the public domain.
Field-specific common knowledge is "common" only within a particular field or specialty. It may
include facts, theories, or methods that are familiar to readers within that discipline. For instance,
you may not need to cite a reference to Piaget?s developmental stages in a paper for an education
class or give a source for your description of a commonly used method in a biology report?but you
must be sure that this information is so widely known within that field that it will be shared by your
readers.
If in doubt, be cautious and cite the source. And in the case of both general and field-specific
common knowledge, if you use the exact words of the reference source, you must use
quotation marks and credit the source.
Basics of Quotes Vs. Paraphrase
Quotes
Use Quotes when:
Specific Words or Info from a text
Paraphrase
Use Paraphrase when:
You are putting the ideas or info from the text in your own
words
70% of Plagiarism happens with this method
NOT RECOMMENDED
RECOMMENDED METHOD
Quote Sandwich:
Paraphrase Sandwich:
Lead-in = Top Piece of Bread
Quotation and Citation = Filling of the Sandwich
Explanation of the Quote = Bottom Piece of Bread
Lead-in to the Paraphrase =Top Piece of Bread
Paraphrase and citation = Filling of the Bread
Explanation of Paraphrase =Bottom Piece of Bread
50
MLA Formatting Guidelines
The MLA (Modern Language Association) has specific formatting rules which primarily encompass
three areas: page layout, parenthetical citations, and the “Works Cited” page. In general, MLA is most
often used in disciplines within Liberal Arts and Humanities.
Page Layout

Sample layout of the first page of your essay:
Peter Parker
Leonard
English 200
San Jose State University
Date
Assignment
Parker 1
Title
Indent one tab (0.5”) to begin each paragraph. Continue with your body paragraphs
and double-space throughout the essay.
 Write your last name and page number in the header of every page.
 Set the page margins to one-inch on each side (top, bottom, left, and right). If you have an older
edition
of Microsoft Word, you might need to use the “page setup” function in order to set the correct margins.
 Use 12-point, Times New Roman font and regular double-spacing.
 The title of your essay should be in regular font and center aligned. Do not use bold or italicized
print.
Parenthetical Citations
Parenthetical citations are in-text source citations. These citations are required when you use a quote or
offer very specific paraphrased information.
 Citations for quotes of four lines or less include the author’s last name and page number: “Good
writing, on the other hand, teaches the learning writer about style, graceful narration, plot
development, the creation of believable characters, and truth-telling” (King 341).
 You can also refer to the author’s last name as you introduce the quote: As King says, “Good
writing, on the other hand, teaches the learning writer about style, graceful narration, plot
development, the creation of believable characters, and truth-telling” (341).
 Citations for quotes of more than four typed lines also include the author’s last name and page
number. However, there are three specific formatting rules for “block quotes”:
• Indent the entire quote 1” (two tabs).
• Do not use quotation marks to enclose the quote.
• Place the period after the text of the quote and before the parenthetical citation.
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 When you paraphrase specific information, you must include a parenthetical citation. To
paraphrase is to convey the ideas of a writer or researcher in your own words. If you use three or more
consecutive words from a source, you must use quotation marks (since you are no longer
paraphrasing).
As King explains, good writing provides examples of excellent narration, interesting plot, well-drawn
characters, and sophisticated style (341).
 If you come across a very lengthy quote that you would like to use portions of in your essay, you
must use ellipsis points [ . . . ] to indicate an omission within the quote:
“In other words, to read a great book for the first time in one’s maturity is an extraordinary pleasure . .
. in maturity one appreciates (or ought to appreciate) many more details and levels and meanings”
(Calvino 735-6).
Works Cited Page
An alphabetized “Works Cited” page is required as the last page of your essay whenever you cite
anything in a paper. Titles of books, films, journals, magazines, newspapers, and lengthier works are
italicized; titles of essays, short stories, articles, poems, etc. are placed in quotation marks. For every
entry, list the publication medium (print, web, film, etc.). The second line and beyond of each entry is
indented one tab (0.5”).
52
Writing Process: Pre-Writing
53
The Steps of Pre-Writing
Ways to start the ideas flowing:

Brainstorm. Gather as many good and bad ideas, suggestions, examples, sentences, false starts, etc. as you can.
Perhaps some friends can join in. Jot down everything that comes to mind, including material you are sure you will
throw out. Be ready to keep adding to the list at odd moments as ideas continue to come to mind.

Talk to your audience, or pretend that you are being interviewed by someone — or by several people, if possible
(to give yourself the opportunity of considering a subject from several different points of view). What questions
would the other person ask? You might also try to teach the subject to a group or class.

See if you can find a fresh analogy that opens up a new set of ideas. Build your analogy by using the word like.
For example, if you are writing about violence on television, is that violence like clowns fighting in a carnival act
(that is, we know that no one is really getting hurt)?

Take a rest and let it all percolate.

Summarize your whole idea.

Tell it to someone in three or four sentences.

Diagram your major points somehow.

Make a tree, outline, or whatever helps you to see a schematic representation of what you have. You may discover
the need for more material in some places. Write a first draft.

Then, if possible, put it away. Later, read it aloud or to yourself as if you were someone else. Watch especially for
the need to clarify or add more information.
You may find yourself jumping back and forth among these various strategies.
54
Prewriting: Clustering
by Melanie Dawson & Joe Essid
Clustering is a type of prewriting that allows you to explore many ideas as soon as they occur to you. Like brainstorming
or free associating, clustering allows you to begin without clear ideas.
To begin to cluster, choose a word that is central to your assignment. For example, if you were writing a paper about the
value of a college education, you might choose the word "expectations" and write that word in the middle of your sheet
of paper. Circle "expectations," then write words all around it--words that occur to you as you think of "expectations."
Write down all words that you associate with "expectations," words that at first may seem to be random. Write quickly,
circling each word, grouping words around your the central word. Connect your new words to previous ones with lines;
when you feel you have exhausted a particular avenue of associations, go back to your central word and begin again.
For example, "expectations" might lead you to consider "the social aspects of college," which may lead you to consider
"career networking." You may then find yourself writing down words that compare the types of jobs you might get
through career networking. You may end up asking yourself questions such as "What sorts of jobs do I want? Not want?"
Have fun with this exercise; even silly questions can open avenues to explore, such as "What if I ended up waiting tables
at Buddy's?" "Would I rather be a lion-tamer or an accountant?" "What about my brilliant career as a stand-up comedian?"
Some words will take you nowhere; with other words you may discover that you have many related words to write.
Random associations eventually become patterns of logic as you look over your work. After looking over the clustering exercise above, y
exciting career as a performer of some type, rather than a job in the service sector or behind a desk.
Now your sample paper about the value of a college education has some focus: how you expect college to lead to an
interesting career that involves creativity, skill, and performance. You might then want to return to the phrase "Job
Skills" and develop that part of your cluster, noting the skills that you'd need to reach your ideal career.
Clustering does not take the place of a linear, traditional outline; but, as the example shows, it allows you to explore
ideas before committing them to a particular order.
Example:
55
Practice Clustering:
Directions:
Step 1: Pick a topic.
Step 2: Write the topic in the center of the circle.
Step 3: Cluster your ideas for five minutes without stopping.
56
Brainstorming Technique
 Brainstorming means making a list of as many things as you can think of that are related to a specific
topic.
 THE key rule to brainstorming is NEVER SAY NO TO ANY IDEA!
The point is not to think about
the ideas, but to capture them on paper. If you stop to consider whether it’s a good idea, you lose the
energy of creativity.
 Be sure to give yourself a VERY SHORT time for brainstorming.
For your brain to do its best
focusing, it needs to know that in a very few minutes it can go and play. I recommend 2-4 minutes for
BRAINSTORMING.
 Brainstorming can be done when you’re by yourself.
It can also be done with others who are working
on the same thing. No matter how many people are brainstorming, keep the time SHORT and NEVER
SAY NO TO ANY IDEA!
 The purpose of brainstorming is to catch ideas you have that may be lost in a slower process.
It is
not meant to limit you – you can always add to your list.
 Sometimes the strangest or most surprising idea that comes up when you’re brainstorming can turn
out to be the best. That’s why you must NEVER SAY NO TO ANY IDEA!!!
Practice:
Topic:
57
Freewriting
Free writing
means writing your ideas quickly over a definite short time period.
Begin with 5 minutes. In a longer time, your brain may get restless and stop focusing.
There are THREE RULES of free writing:
NEVER SAY NO TO ANY IDEA.
GRAMMAR, SPELLING & PUNCTUATION DO NOT COUNT.
YOU MAY NOT ERASE OR CROSS OUT. KEEP MOVING
FORWARD!
KEEP YOUR PEN OR PENCIL MOVING FOR THE ENTIRE
TIME. IF YOU RUN OUT OF IDEAS, KEEP WRITING
ANYWAY . . . I HAVE NO IDEAS NO IDEAS NO IDEAS NO
IDEAS . . . UNTIL TIME IS UP OR AN IDEA ARRIVES.
58
Cubing
Cubing enables you to consider your topic from six different directions; just as a cube is
six-sided, your cubing brainstorming will result in six "sides" or approaches to the topic.
Take a sheet of paper, consider your topic, and respond to these six commands.
1. Describe it.
2. Compare it.
3. Associate it.
4. Analyze it.
5. Apply it.
6. Argue for and against it.
Look over what you've written. Do any of the responses suggest anything new about
your topic? What interactions do you notice among the "sides"? That is, do you see
patterns repeating, or a theme emerging that you could use to approach the topic or
draft a thesis? Does one side seem particularly fruitful in getting your brain moving?
Could that one side help you draft your thesis statement? Use this technique in a way
that serves your topic. It should, at least, give you a broader awareness of the topic's
complexities, if not a sharper focus on what you will do with it.
59
Journalistic Questions
In this technique you would use the "big six" questions that journalists rely on to thoroughly research a story. The six are:
•
•
•
•
•
•
Who?
What?
When?
Where?
Why?
How?
Write each question word on a sheet of paper, leaving space between them. Then, write out some sentences or phrases in
answer, as they fit your particular topic. You might also answer into a tape recorder if you'd rather talk out your ideas.
Now look over your batch of responses. Do you see that you have more to say about one or two of the questions? Or, are
your answers for each question pretty well balanced in depth and content? Was there one question that you had absolutely
no answer for? How might this awareness help you to decide how to frame your thesis claim or to organize your paper? Or,
how might it reveal what you must work on further, doing library research or interviews or further note-taking?
For example, if your answers reveal that you know a lot more about "where" and "why" something happened than you
know about "what" and "when," how could you use this lack of balance to direct your research or to shape your paper?
How might you organize your paper so that it emphasizes the known versus the unknown aspects of evidence in the field of
study? What else might you do with your results?
Practice:
Who?
What?
When?
Where?
Why?
How?
60
Targeting Your Audience
Think about the parts of communication involved in any writing or speaking event act: purpose and audience.
What is your purpose? What are you trying to do? What verb captures your intent? Are you trying to inform? Convince?
Describe? Each purpose will lead you to a different set of information and help you shape material to include and exclude
in a draft. Write about why you are writing this draft in this form.Practice:
What do they
look like:
What do they
know about
your topic
What info do
they need to
know
What biases
do they
have?
What are five
things you
can use to
grab their
attention?
61
What is Your Purpose With This Audience?:
62
Writing Process: Revision Strategies
63
The Steps of the Revision Process
An important part of the writing process is revision, especially as it differs from editing. Writers can learn to
differentiate the need to work first on revision in terms of ideas and structure first and later work on editing in terms of
grammar, spelling, and proofreading. Very often the grammar and style problems that surface in a student’s draft are
related to confusion over ideas and development. Once the problems with ideas and structure are overcome, problems
in grammar and style often decrease on their own. For our purposes here, therefore, revision is considered the step
whereby Writers reconsider their ideas and essay structure and work out problems in development and coherence.
Many Writers are simply so afraid of the writing process that they spend a large amount of time revising as they write
rather than simply getting as many ideas as possible on paper and handling revision later. Instead of writing as much as
possible, some Writers resist waiting to revise and instead just try to get the whole experience over as soon as possible.
It’s important, however, for Writers to remember that first drafts are not final drafts and that what they write first can
then be revised and fine-tuned. Most experienced writers know that writing IS revision.
Encourage Writers to write as much as they can for a first “discovery” draft, as quickly as they can, without spending
time doing extensive revision. Once the first draft is in place, they can turn to revision, and the best place to start is with
the big picture and then narrow the process. Here are some suggested stages for the revision process.
STEP ONE: THE BIG PICTURE
1. Look at the first draft in terms of larger, abstract qualities:
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
is the original purpose of the writing fulfilled?
does the writing cover the required material?
has the writing addressed the specific audience?
does the overall structure seem sensible in terms of your intentions?
is your sense of authority over the topic clear?
STEP TWO: FOCUS ON DEVELOPMENT
1. does the main idea of the paper have enough supporting material?
2. does the supporting material relate logically to the main idea?
STEP THREE: FOCUS ON STRUCTURE
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
is there a controlling idea that can be traced through the writing?
does your lead into the paper create interest and focus?
do individual paragraphs link to the controlling idea?
do individual paragraphs have clear topic sentences?
does the ending provide a sense of wrapping up ideas?
STEP FOUR: FOCUS ON SENTENCE STRUCTURE
1.
2.
3.
4.
are sentences clear?
does the word order in sentences seem logical?
are verbs usually in the active voice?
does word choice seem sensible for the purpose and audience?
Courtesy of: http://www.hws.edu/academics/ctl/writes_revision.aspx
64
Peer Review Communication: Problems and Solutions
Directions:
Step 1: Pair up with a partner(s) and decide who will be the recorder, the
person who writes down your answers, and who will be the reporter, the
person who reports your findings to the class.
Step 2: Read the situation assigned to your group
Step 3: Identify what problems might occur for your situation and write
them in the problems section.
Step 4: As a group, brainstorm two specific ways of solving the
communication problem(s) described and write them in the solutions area.
Step 5: Report your findings to the class.
Situation One:
In peer review, Juan and Rosa, your partners, only praise your work. They always say nice things, complimenting you on
what you write. Because of this feedback, you don’t do much revising of your essay and end up getting a C- because your
work, according to your teacher, “lacks detail, doesn’t address the assigned topic, and has many confusing spots.” You know
you should do more yourself, but you also think perhaps your peer response partners aren’t being honest with you. You
want more substantial feedback from them. What would you say to get more direct, constructive feedback from them to
help you revise more effectively (and probably get a better grade)?
Situation Two:
In peer review, Shawna, a member of your group, gives you direct, honest feedback, but you end up feeling stung by her
abrupt, forceful style of talking. She says things like, “You have a lousy main idea—where’s the insight?” or, “This part
doesn’t make any sense; it sounds childish.” How could Shawna change her way of talking so that she stays truthful to
herself but doesn’t hurt others?
Situation Three:
In peer review, Rajeev feels that his fellow Writers don’t know more about writing than he does. He feels that if they are too
uninformed or are not good writers, then they can’t help him with his essay. What could you say to Rajeev to make him see
that peer review is still a useful activity?
Situation Four:
In peer review, your partners, Judy and Raymond, are more interested in talking about Facebook and how many friends
they have than in reading each other’s papers. You are worried about not doing well because you aren’t getting any
feedback. How do you respond so that your group takes peer review seriously and you get the feedback you want?
Problem(s)
Solutions
65
PEER REVIEW SHEET for Out of Class Essay #1
Reviewer ____________________________________
Writer _____________________________________
Please answer the following questions about the essay. Pay close attention to ideas, organization,
development, and support. Write on this sheet and on the rough draft. Make clear, helpful suggestions.
1.
What is the thesis? Is it clear in the paper? Underline it on the rough draft.
2.
Does the introduction get your attention? How? Can it be improved?
3.
Does each paragraph have a topic sentence? Underline each topic sentence. Does each paragraph have
support/evidence?
4. Are there strong/interesting transitions? Circle the transitions. Does the essay flow or is it stilted?
5.
Does the essay have a strong conclusion? Does the author prove his/her thesis?
6.
What part of the essay do you think is least effective and needs work? Please make helpful suggestions for
improvement.
7.
What part do you think is most effective? Explain why.
8.
Important! If the paper is using quotes or paraphrase, does the essay include quotations from research articles to
support your thesis/assertions/points? Is the paper MLA formatted?
9.
Draw a squiggly line under all quotes and paraphrase sections, and, then, check to make sure that each one has an
in-text citation.
10. Does the author show a clear evaluation or is this essay more of a summery/report?
PLEASE DISCUSS YOUR COMMENTS WITH YOUR PARTNER, AND WRITE A REVISION PLAN ON
THE BACK OF YOUR DRAFT
66
PEER REVIEW SHEET for Class Essay #3
Reviewer ____________________________________
Writer _____________________________________
Please answer the following questions about the essay. Pay close attention to ideas, organization,
development, and support. Write on this sheet and on the rough draft. Make clear, helpful suggestions.
1. What is the thesis? Is it clear in the paper? Underline it on the rough draft.
2. Does the introduction get your attention? How? Can it be improved?
3. Does each paragraph have a topic sentence? Underline each topic sentence. Does each paragraph have
support/evidence?
4. Are there strong/interesting transitions? Circle the transitions. Does the essay flow or is it stilted?
5. Does the essay have a strong conclusion? Does the author prove his/her thesis?
6. What part of the essay do you think is least effective and needs work? Please make helpful suggestions for
improvement.
7. What part do you think is most effective? Explain why.
8. Important! Does the essay include quotations from research articles to support your thesis/assertions/points?
Is the paper MLA formatted?
9. Draw a squiggly line under all quotes and paraphrase sections, and, then, check to make sure that each one
has an in-text citation.
10. Does the works cited page follow MLA format, and is it alphabetized by authors last name?
PLEASE DISCUSS YOUR COMMENTS WITH YOUR PARTNER, AND WRITE A REVISION PLAN ON
THE BACK OF YOUR DRAFT
67
PEER REVIEW SHEET for Out of Class Essay #4
Reviewer ____________________________________
Writer _____________________________________
Please answer the following questions about the essay. Pay close attention to ideas, organization,
development, and support. Write on this sheet and on the rough draft. Make clear, helpful suggestions.
1.
What is the thesis? Is it clear in the paper? Underline it on the rough draft.
2.
Does the introduction get your attention? How? Can it be improved?
3.
Does each paragraph have a topic sentence? Underline each topic sentence. Does each paragraph have
support/evidence?
4.
Are there strong/interesting transitions? Circle the transitions. Does the essay flow or is it stilted?
5.
Does the essay have a strong conclusion? Does the author prove his/her thesis?
6.
7.
What part of the essay do you think is least effective and needs work? Please make helpful suggestions for
improvement.
What part do you think is most effective? Explain why.
8.
Important! Does the essay include quotations from research articles to support your thesis/assertions/points? Is the
paper MLA formatted?
9.
Draw a squiggly line under all quotes and paraphrase sections, and, then, check to make sure that each one has an intext citation.
10. Does the works cited page follow MLA format, and is it alphabetized by authors last name?
PLEASE DISCUSS YOUR COMMENTS WITH YOUR PARTNER, AND WRITE A REVISION PLAN ON THE
BACK OF YOUR DRAFT
68
Writing Center Tutorial Session
Name: _______________________________________________ English __________
Assignment Topic: ___________________________ Assignment Title: _______________________
Directions: Answer question #1 on this sheet before going to the Writing Center. Then, after
your tutorial session, answer questions 2 & 3 and have your tutor sign and date the sheet. Don’t
forget to take the assignment sheet/handout with you to your tutorial session!!
1. What stage of the drafting process are you currently working on? (For example: “Prewriting,”
“Drafting,” “Revising,” “Editing,” etc.)
In the space below, please write the specific area of the assignment you would like to discuss with
your writing tutor:
2. What specific recommendations did your tutor make about the above area?
3. Based on your tutor’s recommendations, what will you work on next in your assignment? (Be
as detailed as possible to help you remember later.)
Tutor’s Printed Name: _________________________________________ Date: ______________
Tutor’s Signature:__________________________________________________________________
(By signing, you’re verifying that the above information accurately reflects your tutorial session)
69
Writing Center Tutorial Session
Name: _______________________________________________ English __________
Assignment Topic: ___________________________ Assignment Title: _______________________
Directions: Answer question #1 on this sheet before going to the Writing Center. Then, after
your tutorial session, answer questions 2 & 3 and have your tutor sign and date the sheet. Don’t
forget to take the assignment sheet/handout with you to your tutorial session!!
1. What stage of the drafting process are you currently working on? (For example: “Prewriting,”
“Drafting,” “Revising,” “Editing,” etc.)
In the space below, please write the specific area of the assignment you would like to discuss with
your writing tutor:
2. What specific recommendations did your tutor make about the above area?
3. Based on your tutor’s recommendations, what will you work on next in your assignment? (Be
as detailed as possible to help you remember later.)
Tutor’s Printed Name: _________________________________________ Date: ______________
Tutor’s Signature:__________________________________________________________________
(By signing, you’re verifying that the above information accurately reflects your tutorial session)
70
Writing Center Tutorial Session
Name: _______________________________________________ English __________
Assignment Topic: ___________________________ Assignment Title: _______________________
Directions: Answer question #1 on this sheet before going to the Writing Center. Then, after
your tutorial session, answer questions 2 & 3 and have your tutor sign and date the sheet. Don’t
forget to take the assignment sheet/handout with you to your tutorial session!!
1. What stage of the drafting process are you currently working on? (For example: “Prewriting,”
“Drafting,” “Revising,” “Editing,” etc.)
In the space below, please write the specific area of the assignment you would like to discuss with
your writing tutor:
2. What specific recommendations did your tutor make about the above area?
3. Based on your tutor’s recommendations, what will you work on next in your assignment? (Be
as detailed as possible to help you remember later.)
Tutor’s Printed Name: _________________________________________ Date: ______________
Tutor’s Signature:__________________________________________________________________
(By signing, you’re verifying that the above information accurately reflects your tutorial session)
71
Writing Center Tutorial Session
Name: _______________________________________________ English __________
Assignment Topic: ___________________________ Assignment Title: _______________________
Directions: Answer question #1 on this sheet before going to the Writing Center. Then, after
your tutorial session, answer questions 2 & 3 and have your tutor sign and date the sheet. Don’t
forget to take the assignment sheet/handout with you to your tutorial session!!
1. What stage of the drafting process are you currently working on? (For example: “Prewriting,”
“Drafting,” “Revising,” “Editing,” etc.)
In the space below, please write the specific area of the assignment you would like to discuss with
your writing tutor:
2. What specific recommendations did your tutor make about the above area?
3. Based on your tutor’s recommendations, what will you work on next in your assignment? (Be
as detailed as possible to help you remember later.)
Tutor’s Printed Name: _________________________________________ Date: ______________
Tutor’s Signature:__________________________________________________________________
(By signing, you’re verifying that the above information accurately reflects your tutorial session)
72
Writing Center Tutorial Session
Name: _______________________________________________ English __________
Assignment Topic: ___________________________ Assignment Title: _______________________
Directions: Answer question #1 on this sheet before going to the Writing Center. Then, after
your tutorial session, answer questions 2 & 3 and have your tutor sign and date the sheet. Don’t
forget to take the assignment sheet/handout with you to your tutorial session!!
1. What stage of the drafting process are you currently working on? (For example: “Prewriting,”
“Drafting,” “Revising,” “Editing,” etc.)
In the space below, please write the specific area of the assignment you would like to discuss with
your writing tutor:
2. What specific recommendations did your tutor make about the above area?
3. Based on your tutor’s recommendations, what will you work on next in your assignment? (Be
as detailed as possible to help you remember later.)
Tutor’s Printed Name: _________________________________________ Date: ______________
Tutor’s Signature:__________________________________________________________________
(By signing, you’re verifying that the above information accurately reflects your tutorial session)
Writing Center Tutorial Session
73
Name: _______________________________________________ English __________
Assignment Topic: ___________________________ Assignment Title: _______________________
Directions: Answer question #1 on this sheet before going to the Writing Center. Then, after
your tutorial session, answer questions 2 & 3 and have your tutor sign and date the sheet. Don’t
forget to take the assignment sheet/handout with you to your tutorial session!!
1. What stage of the drafting process are you currently working on? (For example: “Prewriting,”
“Drafting,” “Revising,” “Editing,” etc.)
In the space below, please write the specific area of the assignment you would like to discuss with
your writing tutor:
2. What specific recommendations did your tutor make about the above area?
3. Based on your tutor’s recommendations, what will you work on next in your assignment? (Be
as detailed as possible to help you remember later.)
Tutor’s Printed Name: _________________________________________ Date: ______________
Tutor’s Signature:__________________________________________________________________
(By signing, you’re verifying that the above information accurately reflects your tutorial session)
74
Proofreading and Editing
75
Sensory Language
Words make a connection between the ideas that they convey and the physical senses of touch,
smell, taste, hearing, and sight that we experience. ALL of the information we receive comes to us
through our five senses (sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch) and our emotions or inner experiences.
Each of these senses has many words describing things that come to us through that sense. Is the object
bright? Do you hear clanging or crackling? Does it smell like rotten eggs? Is it rough or silky? Do you
feel a tightness in your chest from anger? Using sensory language in your writing helps to
communicate exact ideas and emotions through an expressive voice. As a writer, you want your
audience to understand your ideas as vividly as you do, and using sensory language helps make this
possible. By allowing your audience to touch, smell, taste, hear, see or feel the world you are
describing, your writing will become much clearer and more expressive. The ability to describe
something vividly is a very important tool for a writer.
Senses
Three Words that
Describe the Sense
Write a Sentence using each word
Sight
Sound
Touch
Taste
Smell
76
Making Words More Specific
For each unspecific word, write a new word that is more concrete and specific.
General/Unspecific
More Specific
Exact/Specific
Sport
Game
Car
School
Food
Computer
Magazine
Ethnicity
Candy
Music
Color
Shoe
Movies
TV Show
77
Simile & Metaphors
Definition: Simile is when you compare two nouns (persons, places or things) that are unlike, with
"like" or "as."
Example: My heart is like shattered class
Why is the author comparing a heart to shattered glass?
What does the simile mean?
Your turn:
Directions: With your partner, write a simile that compares two nouns.
Your Simile:
Why did you choose to compare these two nouns?
Metaphor Definition: A metaphor is a word or phrase that describes one thing being used to describe another.
Often the two things compared in the metaphor can be very different.
Example: Ysa has a “a heart of stone.”
Explanation: (That person doesn’t literally have a rock for an organ, of course!) And heart and stone aren’t two
items that have an obvious connection. The writer implies the connection to communicate ideas about a person.
• Writers use metaphors to help the audience better understand ideas, and they do so in a fashion that shows a
strong voice and developed thinking since metaphors imply instead of directly stating information. Also,
metaphors can communicate a great deal of meaning with just a word or phrase.
• Metaphor use is a very sophisticated and expressive tool for a writer.
78
METAPHOR
My metaphor: ______________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Side One of the Metaphor
Side Two of the Metaphor
Aspects of both sides which are literally similar or the same:
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
Aspects of both sides which are similar at a non-literal level:
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
Aspects of both sides which are different from each other:
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
Why this metaphor works:
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
79
Metaphor—An Example
My metaphor: Being a college student is being a juggler.
Side One of the metaphor
Being a college student
Side Two of the Metaphor
Being a juggler
Aspects of both sides which are literally similar or the same:
Having many things to pay attention to and keep track of; trying to manage many different things;
feeling the pressure of keeping track of many different things; trying not to make too many mistakes.
Aspects of both sides which are similar at a non-literal level:
Well, the objects the juggler has are compared to all the classes I’m taking plus the responsibilities I
have including school, work, and home. Also, all the different classes are like the things being juggled,
and the juggler dropping something is like me not doing well on a test, or messing up getting
homework done or something like that.
Aspects of both sides which are different from each other:
Obviously the objects being juggled are just things, but all the things I am dealing with are
responsibilities of my life. Also, juggling means keeping things in the air and catching them in a
certain order, but I’m not throwing anything or catching anything.
Why this metaphor works:
I think this metaphor works because it talks about the variety of things that I am busy with, and it is
kind of visual because it’s easy to picture someone juggling a lot of objects, and that really is how I
feel. Also, if I were juggling, I’d feel a lot of tension, and I feel a lot of tension about keeping up with
all my responsibilities.
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The Sentence
The Sentence is the most important part of every paper! If a reader cannot understand your
sentences, then they will not know what you are trying to communicate. In essence, if your
sentences are messy, your message will be messy too.
Understanding how a sentence works will help you become a better editor your paper and produce
a clearer essay. When you start writing, don’t worry about your sentence, but after you complete
your first draft, it is time to start thinking about whether your sentences are communicating your
message.

The simplest sentence has just one subject and one verb. A simple sentence contains no commas!
It only has one punctuation mark, a period, at the end of the sentence.
Examples:

•
John jumps.
•
Kim swims.
•
Jack runs fast.
However, most of us do not write sentences this simple. Instead, we are complex thinkers, so we
write more complex sentences.
Independent Clause:
The Independent Clause is a subject, a verb, and a complete thought.
Examples:
•
I love tuna sandwiches!
•
Steve hates parking tickets and the cops that hand them out.
•
Julia bakes brownies for her co-workers.
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How to Identify Verbs
In order to tell whether you have written a sentence, you need to be able to identify whether your
sentence has a subject and a verb.
Verbs come in two types: Action Verbs and Linking Verbs


An Action verb tells what is happening in a sentence
An action verb will always answer the question “What is happening”
Linking Verbs:
 Not all verbs show action, some verbs simply link the subject to words that describe the subject.
 The most common linking verbs are forms of “be”
Here is a list of some linking verbs you should know:
Common Linking Verbs
Be (am, is, are, was, were)
Appear
Become
Feel
Get
Look
Seem
Smell
Sound
Taste
FORMULA FOR FINDING VERBS:
In English, verbs tell time – past, present, future, etc. The best way to locate a verb in a sentence is to
change the time frame of the sentence. The words that change in the sentence when you do this will
be the verbs.
Example:
The time test has two parts and works like this: you take a sentence and add the phrase “Next year” and
“Last Year”
Original sentence:
Test Sentence:
Running a marathon is not fun.
(Next year) running a marathon will not be
fun.
The supermodel is going to Paris.
(Last year) the supermodel went to Paris.
Liz and Ryan have been watching bad reality
TV.
Next year, Liz and Ryan will be watching
bad reality TV.
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Watch Out for Helping Verbs AKA “Poser Verbs”
What is a poser?
Posers are people that try to look or sound like something they are not.
Just like people there are some words that try to pose as verbs. These words want to trick you into
thinking they are a real verb, but don’t be fooled. While “poser” verbs can hang out with the main
verbs, they have certain characteristics that show they are not a “main verb.”
Formula for Helping/Poser verbs
To + Verb(run) = To Run
Verb (run) + ing = Running

If you see word that looks like a verb but has an –ing ending or a “to” in front of it, don’t be
fooled! It is a poser verb that wants to trick you into thinking it is a real verb.
In these examples, the poser verb is in italics and the main verb is in bold.
Example:
The man eating the fig.
Kim likes to sing with songs on the radio
Bill is dining with Rachel tonight.
Helping verbs/Poser verbs Wrap-up:


When looking for main verbs or writing sentences, you must be able to distinguish between
“poser” and main verbs because the two verbs mean different things.
Sentences that only contain a helping/“poser” verb can never be an Independent clause. Because
they have no main verb
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Exercise 1:
In this exercise, follow the two steps for identifying verbs and their subjects. Underline the verbs
once and the subjects twice. Reminder: an –ing word can only be part of a verb if it follows a form
of the verb be e.g. am working and was thinking.
Example: Most people work in conventional occupations, like accounting, teaching, or retail sales.
Step 1: To find the verb, change the time, or tense, of the sentence. To change the time, we have
change the time by putting the phrase
 So, in front of each sentence change add Last year” or “next year”, and the words that change in
the sentence will be the verbs.
1. Some people have more interesting careers.
2. They are Guillotine Operators, White-Kid Buffers, or Liquid Runners.
3. A Guillotine Operator cuts pencils, not necks.
4. A White-Kid Buffer operates a leather buffer machine, not white kids.
5. A Liquid Runner in a candy factory regulates the flow of syrup.
6. Some people become Gizzard-Skin Removers in the poultry plant.
7. A close friend working as a Bosom Presser irons blouses in the laundry.
8. Her husband, a Top Screw, is the boss of a bunch of Cowpunchers.
9. These occupations are very different from your average office job.
10. After reading about these jobs, most people want to get a college degree.
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Exercise 2:
Find the main verbs in the following sentences. Underline the main verb(s) twice, and bracket off any
“poser” verbs.
For example: [To cheer] himself up, he watched old detective movies and ate ice cream.
1. After a long, rainy winter, the woman and her husband had become tired of their small
apartment, so they decided to drive to a seedy part of town in search of excitement.
2. The couple cruises slowly down a side street, looking for some local nightlife, when they hear
music coming from a small bar on the corner.
3. They had left their car when some stray cats started fighting in a side alley.
4. When couple walked in and sat down at the bar, nobody wanted to look up.
5. At one end of the bar, a tired-looking woman was smoking her cigarette and expertly blowing
out smoke rings.
6. The bartender was wiping down the counter and softly whistling to himself.
7. Samantha hunched over a table in the back corner, four men were enjoying a friendly game of
cards.
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Understanding and Identifying Subjects

When you start writing, the sentence is the first thing you must conquer because every book,
essay, paragraph starts with a sentence. So, to write well you must know how write correct
and effective sentences

A sentence expresses a complete thought about something or someone.

To be grammatically correct, every sentence must have at least one Subject and Verb.

To find the subject of a sentence, there are two simple tricks:
1. Ask yourself “who or what is doing the (verb)?”
2. Remember that subjects typically lean to the left of the verb, so you will almost
always find the subject of the sentence on the left side of the verb.
In the following examples, the subjects have been underlined once and the verbs underlined twice.
Sentence
Question Subject
Running a marathon is not fun.
What is not fun? Running
The supermodel is going to Paris.
Who is going to Paris? the supermodel
Liz and Ryan have been watching bad
reality TV.
The bicycle had been left in the rain.
Who is watching TV? Liz and Ryan
What had been left in the rain? the bicycle
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Exercise 1:
Find the subjects and main verbs in the following sentences. Underline the subject(s) once, the main
verb(s) twice, and bracket off any “poser” verbs.
For example: Sam watched old detective movies and ate ice cream.
1. Enrique plays Grand Theft Auto seven hours a day.
2. Enrique’s mentor is Felipe Sanchez because Felipe taught Enrique how to win Grand Theft Auto.
3. Felipe knows all the secret tricks of winning Grand Theft Auto, and he is thinking of writing a book
about the video game.
4. Felipe plans to be the best Grand Theft Auto player in the world.
5. Enrique’s goal is to beat Felipe at Grand Theft Auto.
6. When Felipe and Enrique are not playing Grand Theft Auto, they love to hang out together, but
when they are playing Grand Theft Auto, Felipe and Enrique want to kill each other.
7. Enrique’s girlfriend, Isabel, thinks video games are stupid.
8. Isabel wants Enrique to put down the game controls, so he will take her on a
date.
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Exercise 2:
In each of these sentences, the subject (“who” or “what” word) is missing. Fill in your own subject to
make the sentence complete.
1. The ___________ is very loud.
2. For years, ___________ piled up in the back of my closet.
3. The gorgeous, red _____________ made Stacy happy.
4. The ___________ believed that her ____________ was over.
5. The _______________ was waiting for the prince to come and save her.
6. _______________ was tired of saving kittens from trees. ________ wanted to fight fires.
7. The pink and yellow _______________ protects me from the rain.
8. The ______________ was in bad shape. The _______________ was falling in, and the
______________ were all broken.
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Subject-Verb Agreement
Explanation
In the present tense verbs must agree with their subjects. both must be singular, or both must be plural.
I
breathe the air.
You breathe the air.
They breathe the air.
He
She
It
breathes the air.
breathes the air.
breathes the air.
You must add an –s or –es at the end of the verb when the subject (or the entity performing the action)
is a singular third person: he, she, it, or words for which these pronouns could substitute. This is not a
problem
in the past or future tenses (skipped and will skip, for instance), but becomes trickier in the present
tense.
To Create the plural/singular
To make a noun plural, we usually add an –s or –es, as in the case of jar to jars or box to boxes.
Some
nouns, such as deer and non-count nouns like courage and fear, act differently and you must assess
them
in context. See Subjects, Verbs & Clauses.
A verb is singular, by contrast, when it is matched with a singular subject. A singular verb, then,
usually
has an –s or –es ending, as in the case of talks and fixes.
Finding the subject and verb
To successfully determine whether or not your subjects and verbs agree, you need to be able to
locate
them in your writing. The subject in a sentence is the agent that is doing whatever is done in the
sentence.
The verb is the action--what is actually done. Look at this example:
The zebra runs down the street.
“The zebra” is the subject of this sentence, and “runs” is the verb.
Use Pronouns to Help
When the pronouns he, she or it are used as a subject in a sentence, the verb is always singular, and
therefore will contain an –s or –es ending.
He takes the money.
She stacks the papers.
It chimes hourly.
All other pronouns (I, you, we, they) require a plural verb (one without an –s or –es ending).
 They skate until March if the ice holds.
 We borrow money to pay our loans.
89
You can use these pronoun rules to determine whether your verb should be plural or singular. Let’s
look
at a variety of subjects, and see which pronouns can replace them.
Subject
John, Marion and Isaac
The community forest
The leading investigator
The Leaning Tower of Pisa
Pronoun
substitute
They…
It…
She…
It…
Verb
grow.
grows.
So, if you can substitute he, she or it for the subject, your verb ought to be singular (with an –s or –
es).
Complicated subjects
Some subjects include phrases that might confuse you into choosing the wrong verb. The verb agrees
with the subject, not the noun or pronoun in the phrase.
The person who loathes cats plays only with their tails.
One of the brothers is missing.
The computer building, including all of the labs, closes its doors promptly at seven.
Subjects connected by “and” require a plural verb. Subjects connected by “or” or “nor” require a
singular.
John and Jeff drive downtown.
A sandwich or muffin is fine.
Neither rain nor shine help the soccer field.
If a compound subject has both plural and singular nouns, follow the pronoun rule for the noun closest
to the verb.
One walnut or two acorns fill a squirrel for a day.
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Exercise 1:
Fill in the verb for each sentence.
Subject
Martin and his mother
The junior or senior
A plum, and not the carrots,
Martha or Dan’s children
The banana’s peel
Saving of electricity
The group of friends
Verb
play
[to play]
[to march]
[to provide]
[to scribble]
[to stretch]
[to take]
[to call]
backgammon every day after work.
in the Homecoming parade.
valuable nutrients to the body.
on the wall to create their art.
across the floor to make them trip.
strong initiative, but benefits all of us.
each card aloud to win the game.
Exercises 2:
Circle the correct verb for each sentence.
Tip: write the pronoun above the subject to help you identify whether the verb should be singular or
plural.
( He )
1. Jordan ( hang / hangs ) the picture upside down above his futon.
(
)
2. Starry Night ( contain / contains ) eleven stars and one swirling moon.
(
)
3. The hammers ( pound / pounds ) the nails until each corner is flush against the wall.
(
)
4. Van Gogh’s sister ( take / takes ) most of the credit for his genius.
(
)
5. The yellows in the painting ( swirl / swirls ) around the blue sky rather than the other way
around.
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Exercise 3: Finding Subject-Verb errors in a Paragraph
Underline each subject once, each verb twice, and fix any incorrect verbs. The first sentence is done
for you.
The Supreme Court Justices rejoices after a particularly difficult decision. Though they usually lean on
the chief justice to announce the ruling (unless he is in the minority) each celebrate in his or her own
way. A reporter, speaking on the condition of anonymity, tells that in each session, the justices bickers
back and forth even when they seem to agree. One or two bicker more than the others, but no one keep
silent for long. All this bickering produces so much tension that when they finish a case, they all must
go their separate ways until at least the following week when they repeat the whole process.
92
Coordinators
Explanation
• Coordinators are words you can use to join simple sentences (aka independent clauses) and show
the logical connections between ideas.
•
Use coordinators when you want to stress equally both ideas you are connecting; if instead you
want to de-emphasize one of the ideas, use a subordinator.
•
You can easily remember the seven coordinators if you keep in mind the word FANBOYS:
Coordinators
Logical
Relationship
Sample sentences
F
FOR
Cause/Effect
I expect to see lots of green on Friday, for
it is St. Patrick’s Day.
A
AND
Addition
The Irish bars will be packed, and the beer
will be flowing.
N
NOR
Addition of negatives
I won’t drink green beer, nor will I drink a
Shamrock Shake.
B
BUT
Contrast
I like the color green, but I don’t think it’s
an appetizing color for a beverage.
O
OR
Alternative
Guinness is always a good choice, or if
you’re driving, water is a better choice.
Y
YET
Condition
I have to wake up early the next morning,
yet I don’t want to be anti-social.
S
SO
Cause/Effect
One of my friends is having a party, so I
will probably drop by for a while.
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Exercise 1:
Join the following sentences with the coordinator that most clearly expresses the logical relationship
between the two ideas being connected. Hint: you should use each coordinator only once.
For Example: Calvin had his heart set on being a physics major. He
was horrible
, but
he at math.
he
1. He could not understand geometry. He could not understand physics.
2. He took extra classes. The tutor couldn’t seem to help.
3. He worked incredibly hard. Everyone in the math department was willing to help him.
4. He realized he would have to improve. He was going to have to give up his ambition to become
a great physicist.
5. The other students could build catapults out of popsicle sticks and rubber bands. Calvin’s catapult
couldn’t even launch a pebble.
6. Calvin’s experiments were always unique. They proved that some basic law of nature no longer
existed.
7. Calvin finally realized that he did not have it in him to be the next Stephen Hawking. He changed
his major to English.
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Different Kinds of Clauses
In English, every sentence must have at least one Independent Clause. To know if you have a
complete sentence, you first must understand what is an Independent Clause.
A Clause:
 A clause is a group of words that has a verb and a subject.
 Clauses come in two types: Independent Clauses and Dependent Clauses.
_______________________________________________________________________
Independent Clause:
An Independent Clause has a Subject, Verb, and a Complete Thought so it can stand alone as a
sentence.
Example: My dog is named Rover.
Example: I like tuna salad sandwiches for an afternoon snack.
______________________________________________________________________
Dependent Clause:
 A dependent clause has a subject and a verb, but it cannot stand alone because it does not have a
complete thought.
 Instead, all dependent clauses have a subordinator at the beginning of the clause, which requires
the clause to be connected to another independent clause.
Example: Because I love tuna
Example: If I get my motorcycle license by Christmas
NOTE: Any Independent Clause can be made dependent simply by adding a Subordinator
Punctuation Rule:
 If the subordinate clause comes before the independent clause, a comma should separate the two
clauses.
 No comma is needed if the dependent clause comes after an independent clause.
Subordinating Conjunctions
after
even though
although
every time
as
if
as soon as
In case
because
In the event that
before
Just in case
by the time
Now that
even if
Once
Until
only if
since
since
the first time
though
unless
When
Wherever
Whereas
Whether or not
While
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Subordinators
Explanation
Like coordinators (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so), subordinators (see chart below) can join
independent clauses, aka simple sentences, and can help you:
•
Make your writing more fluid by connecting short sentences
•
Make your writing more precise by showing your reader the logical relationships between ideas.
Let’s take a look at some of the most common subordinators. As you can see from the sample
sentences below, subordinators can appear either at the beginning or in the middle of a sentence.
Logical
Relationship
Subordinato
Sample Sentence
rs
Concession
although, while,
even though, even
if, whereas, though
Although the young blond heiress was often in the news,
she had no talent.
Cause
because, since
He started to worry about fining a job because he was
almost finished with his last semester of college.
Effect/ Result
so that, in that, in
order that
She enrolled in cooking school so that she could become
a pastry chef.
Condition
if, unless, provided
that
If it is sunny this weekend, they are planning to have a
barbeque.
Time
after, before, as
soon as, since,
when, while, until,
as
Until my brother pays me back for last time, I am not
lending him any more money.
Contrast/
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Subordinators & Dependent Clauses (aka Subordinate Clauses)
Joining two independent clauses with a subordinator transforms one of them—the one which begins
with the subordinator—into a dependent clause. Even though this clause will still contain a subjectverb unit, it cannot stand alone as a sentence.
Independent Clause
(a complete sentence)
Dependent clause
(no longer a complete sentence)
The young blond heiress was often in the news.
Although the young blond heiress was often in
the news
He was almost finished with his last semester
of college.
Because he was almost finished with his last
semester of college
Dependent clauses pretending to be sentences are actually fragments, a grammar error you can read
more about on the “Fragments” handout.
Subordinators & Emphasis
Unlike coordinators, subordinators do not give equal emphasis to the ideas they connect; instead, the
clause that begins with a subordinator—the dependent clause— receives less emphasis. Compare the
following two sentences:
•
Although he wanted to see the movie, Guillermo did not want to spend ten dollars.
•
Although he did not want to spend ten dollars, Guillermo wanted to see the movie.
In the first sentence, the subordinator “although” de-emphasizes Guillermo’s desire to see the movie;
his reluctance to spend the money seems more important. In the second sentence, however, the
subordinator “although” de-emphasizes Guillermo’s reluctance to spend the money, and his desire to
see the movie seems more important.
Be careful, then, when deciding where to place the subordinator—this placement can change the
meaning of your sentence.
Punctuation
When a subordinator introduces a sentence, put a comma after the first clause.
•
After she went to bed, she started to hear noises downstairs.
But if the subordinator comes in the middle of a clause, you don’t need to set it off with a
comma.
• She started to hear noises downstairs after she went to bed.
Exercise 1: Identifying Independent and Dependent Clauses____________________
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What does an independent clause have?
What does a Dependent clause have?
Read the following sentence. Underline all subordinators. If you think the clause is
Independent, please put an I next to it. If you think the clause is Dependent, please put a D next
to it.
Examples:
Although the issue is complicated. (D)
People have strong opinions. (I)
________________________________________________________________________
1. Whenever I felt bored.
2. She proposed to me.
3. Although I am her cousin.
4. Charles says he loves her.
5. Because I was tired.
6. Before the semester began.
7. While I was sitting on the park bench.
8. My roommate intends to finish college.
9. After Arlene left for Chicago.
10. Wherever you may go.
11. Since Mary and Jack got married.
12. Many people hate to write.
13. Unless you stop doing that right now.
14. Even though Sherry knows.
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Exercise 2:
A) Join the following sentences using an appropriate subordinator. For each sentence, you’ll see a
hint about the logical relationship you should show.
For example: Some rodents and birds prey on cockroaches.
Man is their biggest foe. [CONTRAST]
While some rodents and birds prey on cockroaches, man is their biggest foe.
1. Cockroaches are a health menace to humans.
They carry viruses and bacteria that result in diseases from hepatitis and salmonella. [CAUSE]
2. Humans try to defeat cockroaches.
Cockroaches are very successful at surviving our attacks. [CAUSE]
3. Cockroaches are smaller than the humans who chase them.
They have extremely fast responses and sensitive receptors. [CONTRAST/CONCESSION]
4. There is no food.
Cockroaches subsist on glue, paper, and soap. [TIME]
5. They can’t find glue, paper or soap. [TIME/CONDITION]
They can draw on their body stores for three months.
6. Cockroaches are really desperate. [TIME]
They will turn into cannibals.
99
Editing for Fragments
Fragments are incomplete sentences because they are missing a subject, verb, or independent clause.
To find fragments, all you need to do is circle the subjects,
Common Sources of Fragments
1. The fragment is a dependent clause, a group of words that contains a subject-verb unit but
cannot stand alone because it begins with a subordinator. For example:
• Although I am her cousin
• Since they broke up
• Unless you stop doing that
• Because he was tired
Other common subordinators include: though, even though, while, whereas before, after, if,
when, as soon as.
2. The fragment is a phrase, a group of words that does not contain a subject-verb unit. Many
times, phrases are easy to identify. For example:
• Once more with feeling
• In the beginning
• The richest man in London
Two types of phrases can be a bit trickier to spot, however, because they contain words that
look like verbs but aren’t acting as part of a valid subject-verb unit:
A. -ing phrases: Without a form of the verb “to be,” –ing words cannot be part of the
subject-verb unit. For example:
•
•
The man eating a fig
The coyote howling at the moon
B. “Who, whom etc.” phrases: Verbs that are separated from the subject by the words
“who,” “whom,” “whose,” “when,” “where,” “that,” and “which” cannot be part of the
subject-verb unit. For example:
•
•
•
The woman who disobeyed
The apple that she ate
The garden which she had to leave
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Strategies for Fixing Fragments
In order to turn a fragment into a complete sentence, you have a couple of options.
1. Often you simply need to combine a fragment with a neighboring sentence to produce a
grammatically complete sentence. For example:
Fragment (in italics)
Complete sentence
Rocio made that mistake too. But only when
she wasn’t paying attention.
Rocio made that mistake too, but only when
she wasn’t paying attention.
Daydreaming about the weekend. I missed my
exit.
Daydreaming about the weekend, I missed my
exit.
My chatty next door neighbor. She loves to
gossip.
My chatty next door neighbor loves to gossip.
I’ve never been back to El Salvador. Since I
left ten years ago.
I’ve never been back to El Salvador since I left
ten years ago.
2. Other times, you’ll need to complete the sentence by supplying the missing subject or verb, or by
attaching an independent clause
Fragment (in italics)
Complete sentence
A laboratory for the study of animal life in the
South Pacific.
A laboratory for the study of animal life is
situated in the South Pacific.
The girl who wanted an ‘A’ in her English
class.
The girl who wanted an ‘A’ in her English
class re-wrote each essay three times.
The man thoughtfully scratching his beard.
The man was thoughtfully scratching his beard.
Since I only had a cookie for breakfast.
Since I only had a cookie for breakfast, I was
starving by lunchtime.
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Exercises – Fragments
Exercise 1. Read the following groups of words. First, circle the verbs and underline the subjects.
Then, determine if they are grammatically complete sentences or if they are fragments.
For example: Going to community college
fragment
1. A noticeable mistake which was on the flyer
2. Whenever I get tired of doing my math homework
3. The building across from the library is condemned
4. My roommate who intends to finish college in four years
5. My other roommate has been in college seven years
6. Before the semester began
7. The teacher who liked to listen to the sound of his own voice
8. Because mid-terms are just about to start
9. If I could be left alone to do my homework
10. Although I don’t usually enjoy hard work, I love studying Japanese
11. Listening to tapes in the language lab is really time consuming
12. The boy typed on the Mac in the computer lab
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Exercise 2. Read the following sentences. If the sentence is ok, write ok over it. If the sentence is a
fragment, write fragment on top of it.
1. Anxious about his love life. He decided to visit a fortune-teller.
2. The fortune-teller asked for fifty dollars. And the names of his favorite movie stars.
3. Consulted her astrology charts and closely examined his palms.
4. She predicted someone important would soon come into his life. A tall, dark stranger.
5. While he was skeptical that such a clichéd prediction could come true.
6. The day that he would meet the stranger was cold and foggy. He was sipping hot chocolate at his
favorite café.
7. The stranger who would change his life. She walked in the door and ordered a hot chai.
8. She asked if she could share his table. Because the other tables were full of students studying for
their midterms.
9. Looking up from his crossword. He smiled and said yes.
10. As she sat down in the table across from him.
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Commas
Explanation
Commas have many uses in the English language. They are responsible for everything from setting
apart items in a series to making your writing clearer and preventing misreading. Correct comma use is
a difficult skill to master since it requires a combination of grammar knowledge and independent
stylistic judgment.
Sentence Combining
When you are joining ideas, phrases or clauses within a sentence, you often will use a comma for
punctuation.
An independent clause, also known as a simple sentence, is a group of words that contains a subject
and a verb AND can stand alone as a sentence. For example
·
The child went to the dentist.
·
His girlfriend is angry.
·
She will buy a new pair of shoes.
You can join an independent clause with another independent clause using a coordinator (FANBOYS)
and a comma:
·
·
Angelo rides his bike, and Mary takes the bus.
Marguerite grabbed the diamonds, but Oliver sold them on the black market.
A dependent clause is a group of words that contains a subject and a verb BUT it cannot stand alone
because it starts with a subordinator, words like although, while, since, because, if, until, after. For
example:
·
When the child went to the dentist
·
Because his girlfriend is angry
·
Although she will buy new shoes
You will use a comma to join a dependent clause require a comma before it can be attached to the
independent clause that finishes the thought:
·
Even though Michael was allowed to go to the concert, his mother made sure he had completed
all his homework.
If you reverse the order and put the independent clause first and the dependent clause second, however,
you do not need a comma:
·
His mother made sure he had completed all his homework even though Michael was allowed to
go to the game.
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Series
You will use commas to separate items in a series containing three or more coordinate elements.
·
·
·
Ron, Maria, and Jessica play soccer every day after school.
My favorite vegetables are Brussels sprouts, spinach, and cauliflower.
I want either fettuccini alfredo, eggplant parmesan, or the linguine with clams in a white sauce.
You will use commas to separate items in a series of two or more coordinate adjectives—adjectives
modifying the same idea independent of each other.
·
·
·
It should be a slow, lazy day.
Seven years passed in a destructive, whirling blur.
He brought his sleek, shiny bicycle.
Commas are not required when the adjectives are cumulative, or when they describe different aspects
of the same noun.
·
·
·
Donnie sold me ten gold bowling balls.
My favorites are the lazy white clouds.
He ordered a delicious chocolate cake for the party.
Comma-Adjective Rule
To help you decide whether or not you should use a comma when separating two or more adjectives,
ask yourself the following two questions:
·
Can the order of the two adjectives be reversed?
·
Can the word “and” be put between the adjectives?
If either answer is yes, then the adjectives are coordinate, and you should use a comma.
• Jessica is an ambitious, intelligent woman.
• Jessica is an intelligent, ambitious woman. [order reversed]
• Jessica is an intelligent and ambitious woman. [added “and”]
If you cannot reverse the order of or add “and” to the adjectives, then they are cumulative, and do not
require a comma.
• Roger has fourteen silver horns.
• Roger has silver fourteen horns. [The reversed order does not work.]
• Roger has fourteen and silver horns. [The added “and” does not work.]
Setting off Nonessential Elements
Some modifying elements of a sentence are essential, restricting the meaning of a modified term, while
others are nonessential and do not restrict the modified term's meaning. These nonessential elements,
which can be words, phrases, or clauses, are set off with commas.
Nonessential (Nonrestrictive)
Students, who use the majority of the Health
Center’s services, claim to be especially sick
this year.
Essential (Restrictive)
Students who play any school sport will
receive free tickets to final game.
Only students who play a school sport
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All students claim to be sick this year.
The professor, with a wink, dismissed her
class early.
Removing the phrase “with a wink” doesn’t
change the meaning of the sentence.
Popular politicians, campaigning in every
small town in America, wave the American
flag and kiss babies.
The Big Lebowski, a 1997 Coen Brothers
film, is a modern mystery and a Western
rolled into one.
receive the tickets, not all students.
The professor with no students is good for
very little.
The prepositional phrase “with no students”
tells what kind of professor is good for very
little; it is essential.
The politician campaigning for president has
no time for a meaningful personal life.
The great American movie The Big
Lebowski popularized the nickname “Dude.”
When deciding whether information is nonessential or essential, ask yourself this question:
·
Is the modifier essential to the meaning of the noun or subject it modifies?
NO: Nonrestrictive (use commas)
YES: Restrictive (no commas)
Transitional Words and Phrases
Transitional words and phrases qualify, clarify, and make connections between ideas. They are usually
set off with commas when they introduce, interrupt, or come at the end of a clause.
·
·
·
Nevertheless, she took the bus knowing it would be late.
On the other hand, money is money and I have to pay my rent.
Rare horses, however, are something I would consider buying.
Note: When you use a transitional word to combine two independent clauses, you must use a
semicolon or punctuate them as two separate sentences.
·
·
·
·
Diamonds are rare; however, the coal that makes them is abundant.
The best dogs raced first; therefore, the spectators all went home before it rained.
Laughter is the best medicine; of course, penicillin also comes in handy sometimes.
I wanted to finish quickly. Unfortunately, I still had three exams afterward.
Quotations
In most cases, use commas to set off a direct quotation from the identifying tag (he said, she screamed,
I wrote and so on).
·
·
·
·
Thoreau said, “To be awake is to be alive.”
“To be awake is to be alive,” Thoreau said.
“To be awake,” Thoreau said, “is to be alive.”
“To be awake is to be alive,” Thoreau said. “I have never yet met a man who was quite awake.”
If the quoted text contains an exclamation point or a question mark, do not use a comma in addition:
·
·
“Should we bring the casserole tonight?” he asked.
“I love those children!” the father screamed.
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Exercise 1 – Commas – Dependent & Independent Clauses
Add commas where necessary in the sentences below. Some sentences will not require one.
Examples:
Although my mother told me not to get her a gift, I decided to make her a scrapbook.
I want to give more money to her charity, but I think the IRS already took too much of my
salary.
1. Lately Katherine has wanted more companionship even though she rather likes to be alone.
2. Jerry vies for her attention but she has so much on her own mind as she suffers through this ordeal.
3. But whereas Alec acts like a friend he also wants Katherine’s admiration.
4. So that she will be found innocent Miss Smatter will write another’s confession.
5. Jerry eats his sandwich as coolly as the others do yet he can’t shake the feeling of deception and
mistrust.
6. Sabrina thinks that the apartment’s rent is trivial while Kelly thinks it crucial.
7. Although Rachel has little say in the matter her friends could use the advice.
8. Because her dog was hit by a car he walks with a substantial limp.
9. The doctor set it with pins and even though he didn’t scratch at it he was still forced to wear a giant
collar.
10. Either the bill came two weeks later or the doctor sent a collection agency for the money.
Exercise 2 – Commas – Series and Adjectives
Add commas where necessary in the sentences below. Some sentences will not require one.
Example:
I want to pick fragrant, colorful daffodils, roses, and lilies for my sister’s birthday party.
1. Sue won the “Vegetable Prize of the Day” that included carrots turnips and leeks.
2. Most people don’t know that their favorite chips contain preservatives artificial flavors and MSG.
4. The three tall brothers took the brilliant shining vitamins before playing sports.
5. Watching movies reading books sleeping and exercising are my favorite weekend activities.
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Exercise 3 – Commas – Essential and Nonessential Items
Add commas where necessary in the sentences below. Some sentences will not require one.
Example:
·
The racing fans, who rarely wave pennants, showed up in full force on Sunday.
1.
Shelly my mother’s step-sister gave me thirty dollars last week.
2.
The campus police who rarely arrest any faculty members are responsible for patrolling all
night long.
3.
The man walking his dog down the street looks like my great-uncle Ted.
4.
My grandmother with a terrible scream alerted me to the fire in her closet.
5.
Doug gave me three helpings of dessert which was a crème brûlée.
6.
Speaking as if he was consumed with fury Louis yelled to the audience.
7.
The actor with no siblings starred in the blockbuster movie Grammar Cop.
8.
The helicopter a Grasker A-7 flew over the otherwise empty desert where two thousand
troops slept silently awaiting orders.
Exercise 4 – Commas – Transitions
Add commas and/or semicolons where necessary in the sentences below.
Example:
·
Nevertheless, I wanted to go to the farm to see the llamas.
1. I didn’t want to see the whole country however I did want to visit the biggest states and prettiest
parks.
2. On the other hand Martin said that Oklahoma is worth skipping.
3. Alternatively I dream about the open road even if it is scary sometimes.
4. My car takes five quarts of oil typically speaking.
5. I made the motel reservations already therefore I should leave next week.
6. Pharmaceuticals as a result are becoming more and more expensive.
7. Thus I will need to buy a new car before I set off on Sunday.
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Editing for Run-Together Sentences
•
•
•
•
Run-Together Sentences (RTS) are not simply sentence that are too long; rather, they are sentences
two or more sentences that have been combined without an acceptable joiner.
To find RTS’s, you must remember that a complete sentence has 1) a subject-verb unit and 2) a
complete thought.
Acceptable joiners for complete sentences are:
Coordinators: For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So
Subordinators: Because, Although, Since, When, etc
Semi-Colons
Unacceptable Joiners:
Commas: If you use a comma to connect Ind. Clauses, you create a comma splice
Transition Words: Using a transition to connect Ind. Clauses creates a comma splice
Not using anything.
Because this can get a little confusing, here is a chart to help you out:
How to Fix Run-Together Sentences
Logical
Relationship
Coordinators
(CAN join sentences)
Subordinators
(CAN join sentences)
Addition
And
Contrast
but, yet
although, while, even
though, even if,
whereas, though
Cause
For
because, since
Effect/ Result
So
so that, in that,
in order that
Choice/
Alternative
or, nor
Condition
Time
Transition
Words
(CANNOT join
sentences)
also, further,
additionally,
furthermore, moreover,
similarly
however, still,
nevertheless, otherwise,
on the other hand,
instead, nonetheless,
alternatively
therefore, thus,
consequently, hence, as
a result
on the other hand,
conversely
if, unless,
otherwise
provided that
after, before,
then, next, previously,
as soon as, since, when,
subsequently, afterwards
while, until, as
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Use a coordinator
One way to fix a run-together sentence is to insert a comma and a coordinator to join the two
independent clauses. For example:
Original RTS
Her older sister hit him, the boy started to
cry.
Grammatically Correct Sentence
His older sister hit him, so the boy started to cry.
When you use a coordinator to fix a run-together sentence, make sure that you choose one that
indicates the correct logical relationship between the two ideas you are connecting; the chart on the
previous page can help you figure this out.
Use a subordinator
Another way to fix a run-together sentence is to use a subordinator to join the two independent clauses.
For example:
Original RTS
He took four ibuprofren, his headache
faded away.
Grammatically Correct Sentence
His headache faded away as soon as he took
four ibuprofen.
As soon as he took four ibuprofen, his headache
faded away.
As you can see from the examples above, subordinators don’t always need to be placed in the middle
of sentence; they can also come at the beginning. When you do place the subordinator at the beginning
of a sentence, you need to put a comma after the end of the first clause.
As with coordinators, when you use a subordinator to fix a run-together sentence, you need to make
sure that you choose one that indicates the correct logical relationship between the two ideas you are
connecting.
Use a semi-colon
A third way fix run-together sentences is by joining the two independent clauses with a semi-colon.
Original RTS
My teacher writes RTS in the margins of
my essay I do not know what she means.
Grammatically Correct Sentence
My teacher writes RTS in the margins of my
essay; (however) I don’t know what she means.
You can pair a semi-colon with a transition word, but remember that transition words alone cannot join
sentences. If you do use a transition word, be sure that it is one that indicates the correct logical
relationship between the ideas you are connecting.
110
Split the RTS into two sentences
One final way to fix a run-together sentence is to spit it up into two independent clauses. For example:
Original RTS
My teacher writes RTS in the margins of
my essay I do not know what she means.
Grammatically Correct Sentence
My teacher writes RTS in the margins of my
essay. I don’t know what she means.
When you fix run-together sentences in this way, just be careful that you don’t end up with a series of
short, choppy sentences.
Exercise 1:
Read the sentences below. First) underline the subjects in each sentence once and the verbs twice,
second) identify whether each sentence is an RTS or ok, 3) explain explain why you think this.
Example: I don’t usually watch reality TV I do love Project Runway.
RTS: because there are two independent clauses, but no coordinator, subordinator, or semicolon separating them.
1. At the beginning of the season there are fourteen aspiring fashion designers, in the end only three
people get to show at Olympus Fashion Week in New York.
2. The supermodel Heidi Klum hosts, famous designers serve as guest judges.
3. The contestants must take the design challenges seriously every week the loser goes home.
4. Some of the contestants have huge egos, they are unnecessarily competitive.
5. I don’t have TiVo, so I am going to my friend’s house to watch the season finale.
6. She needed a part-time job, books and tuition were expensive this year.
7. She would have preferred not to have to work retail, the only job she could find was at a shoe store
in the mall.
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8. She had been working for a month, her employee discount kicked in.
Exercise 2:
Now that you know about RTS sentences, it is time to try to find run-together sentences in the
following paragraph. In each sentence, first circle the verb and underline the subjects. Then, examine
the sentence. If it is a complete sentence, write ok over it. If it’s an RTS, write RTS over it.
(1) The first semester of college is difficult for me I had to take on new responsibilities. (2) For
instance, I created my own schedule. (3) It was cool I got to select courses in addition, I could decide
when I took them. (4) Sadly, I had to purchase my own textbooks, colleges do not distribute them each
term like high schools do. (5) Also, no bells ring to announce when my classes begin or when they end
students are expected to arrive on time. (6) Furthermore, many of my teachers don’t even take role
they just expect students to attend class regularly and know the assignments. (7) So, this college thing
has been really difficult, but I think next quarter will be easer I’ll know what to expect.
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Verb Tense Definitions
Definitions: Verb tense is the form of the verb in a particular sentence that indicates
time. A verb tense not only indicates past, present, and future action, but also indicates
whether the action is ongoing or complete.
All verb tenses come from four principal parts of a verb :
♦ Simple Form: the infinitive form, used after the word "to." It is also the form used
for the present tense.
to shout
to study
to play
to read
to ask
to write
to be
♦ Past Tense: indicates action that occurred in the past.
Regular verbs form the past tense by adding “-ed” to the simple form.
love/loved
walk/walked
ask/asked
shout/ed
Irregular verbs may change the spelling of the verb completely or not at all!
be/been
go/went
do/did
hit/hit
• Future Tense – indicates an action that will happen in the future
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Practicing Verb Parts
Name: _____________________________________________
Fill in as many spaces as you can with the other forms of the verbs shown here. Where can you find
these answers if you need to?
Verb:
Stop
Past Form
Present
Future
Laugh
Ran
Hope
Had
Write
Read
drive
Think
Went
Eat
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Avoiding Inappropriate Verb Tense Shifts
In Standard Written English, you must maintain a consistent verb tense whenever possible within a
sentence. What that means is that as you write you should not shift back and forth between past,
present, and future tenses without a clear reason.
Inappropriate Shifting: We were drinking coffee. Suddenly, Wendy chokes.
Appropriate Tense Usage: We were drinking coffee. Suddenly, Wendy choked.

What tenses are used in the inappropriate sentence?

How did the writer fix the sentence to make it appropriate?
Of course, you should use different verb tenses in your sentences and paragraphs if they convey the
meaning you want them to convey. You just have to make it clear that you want to change tenses:
Appropriate Verb Tense shifts: Two years ago, I wanted to be a police officer, but today I am
studying business.

What did the writer do to shift tenses appropriately?
Whenever you proofread anything you write for tense consistence, ask yourself: “Have I accidentally
moved from past to present or from present to past?”
Practice writing in different tenses:
Write two sentences for each tense. Pick your own topic:
Past Tense:
Past Tense
Present Tense
Present Tense
Future Tense
Future Tense
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Exercise 1:
Underline all the verbs in these sentences. Then correct any inappropriate verb tense shifts above the
verb.
1. We were walking to subway when a large squirrel appears in front of us.
2. When Bill asked for the time, I tell him it is past his bedtime.
3. The woman on the red bicycle delivers my newspaper everyday, but, today, she was an hour late.
4. Dr, Peterson smiles and welcomed the couple.
5. Sam and Juan were walking down the city street when the lights go out.
6. The crowd started cheering as the football player scores a touchdown.
7. My sister questioned me for hours about the accident as I sit in the hospital waiting room.
8. The band was celebrating getting a record contract because they get it today.
Exercise 2:
Underline all the verbs in this paragraph. Then correct any inappropriate verb tense shifts.
(1) Last summer my greatest obstacle was getting to the next level on Halo. (2) Today, my greatest
obstacle is getting to the next level of English. (3) I try really hard, but verbs and subjects confused me.
(4) Paragraphs are long, and the essays I wrote are the longest I have ever written. (5) I don’t know
how I will survive or when I’ll get to play Halo again, but I wished I paid more attention at the
beginning of the class.
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Appositives
Appositives: A noun that is placed next to another noun to identify or add more info about that noun.
Example: Anthony Bourdain, a chef, may have bled into my food.
Appositive Phrases: A group of words that include an Appositive as well as other words that describe
the noun they are next to. Appositive phrases are usually set off from the rest of the sentence with
commas.
Example: I went to Pho Garden, the most delicious pho diner, for lunch.
Comma Rules:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Appositives and appositive phrases should be surrounded by commas If an appositive starts a sentence, you only need a comma after it. If an appositive ends a sentence, you only need a comma before it. If an appositive comes in the middle, you need to surround the appositive/appositive phrase with commas. Practice:
Step 1: Read the Passage
Step 2: Find the appositives
Step 3: Add commas where needed
(1)There have been recent news items about Albert Adrià, Joan Roca, and Grant Achatz that describe plans in their
respective restaurants for arty, interdisciplinary concepts. (2) Roca, for instance, is trying to develop a culinary
opera in an igloo-like table next to his restaurant. (3)Do you think this is a good way to go or have these guys jumped
the shark? (4) I a mere spectator don't know. (5) Anything is possible. (6) I was hostile initially to what Adrià the so
called artist was doing, but it ended up being one of the greatest meals of my life. (7) If anyone is going to make art out of
food, it's him. (8)Roca a self-proclaimed genius I don't know because I haven't been there and tried the restaurant. (9)
Achatz the hippest hipster around I don't know. (10) As I said before, I didn't get Alinea a chef with avant guard tastes.
Step 4: Write sentence about each of the following items that contains an appositive phrase
• A spicy dish
• An adult beverage
• A hot beverage
• A comfort food
• A disgusting dish
117
Discussion & Questioning Strategies
118
Why Are Classroom Discussions and Small Group Work so Important for
1
Learning?
As I mentioned in the syllabus, this is a seminar class; thus, we will be spending much of our time in
class discussions or group work activities, rather than in lectures. In class we discussed some of the
problems with group work: students often complain that they find group work pointless because they
don’t like working with other people or because they think it’s a chance for the teacher to take a break
while students work. So why, then do I have you participate in group work and class discussions?
Evidence:
Studies show that students actually learn better when they work in groups than when a teacher
lectures to them. This is partly because when you work on a problem in a group, your brain is more
active, and thus, better able to remember the information you are learning. Think about it as similar to
learning to ride a bike: you probably learned from doing instead of from someone just telling you how
to do it.
Similarly, class discussions are meant to help you learn actively by engaging you in a topic. Though I
do sometimes lecture, I rarely lecture on the readings because there is no one right answer. I want to
help you learn to think for yourselves instead of telling you what to think! Thus your opinions on the
readings are important because you help bring up different ideas that other people (myself included)
wouldn’t have thought of!
Making it work:
In class we brainstormed ways of making group work “work.” One thing that helps is giving everyone
a job to do (see the group roles). This ensures that everyone has something to do and no one is
slacking off. Also try being flexible; sometimes we have to make compromises!
1
Adapted from Elizabeth Cohen’s Designing Groupwork.
119
Improving Class Discussions








Address your comments to the group, not just the teacher.
Show the speakers you are listening by looking at them when they speak.
Ask questions of the speaker if you don’t understand their point, or if you are interested and
would like to hear more.
Relate what the speaker says to your own personal experience, while still staying on the subject,
or your own interpretation of the reading.
Jot down notes on paper while someone is speaking so you don’t forget what you want to say
when it is your turn.
You don’t always have to raise your hand to speak; if you notice a pause in the conversation,
feel free to jump in.
Taking time to gather your thoughts is okay, but drifting off is not.
Your ideas are as important as anyone else’s in the class—share them!
Braving Uncharted Waters: Tips for Starting or Adding to a Discussion

My first impression of the text/story was… because…

I noticed that…

I might be off here but I think the writer saying…because…

I’m confused about…but I have a feeling it has to do with…

It seems to me that…
Acknowledging Others and Adding to the Conversation

I like what Michelle said about…

I never thought about that connection between…until Miguel brought it up…

Anthony’s point about…makes me think about…

Angela said something really important in our group discussion that gets to what we’re talking
about now…

Sonia’s last comment put things into perspective and got me wondering about…
Gently Clarifying and Challenging

Hmm. I just want to make sure I get what you said, Brian. Are you saying…?

Now I see what you’re getting at, Camille. Do you mean…?

Even though it is true that…we also need to keep in mind that…

That’s an interesting point, Raymond, but I’m not sure I agree because…
120
Reading and Writing Connections
121
General and Specific2
We use writing and reading in many different ways: to understand our world and to communicate our
own feelings, needs, and desires. The information we read and write can be divided into two groups:
general and specific. Both have important functions as you may remember from the first day in
class when you worked on asking general and specific questions to find out more about your classmates.
General
General information or terms refer to groups. For instance, food would be a general term, because it
covers a whole group of different things (i.e. bagels, rice, chocolate). You can also think of it as a topic,
such as identity, or media violence. General information always refers to many different things, rather
than one, precise detail.
You may find general statements in:
Introductions
Thesis Statements
Conclusions
Topic Sentences
Specific
If general information refers to groups, then specific information refers to one, individual thing. For
instance, whereas a general term would be “food,” a specific term would be “pizza.” Think of specific
information as the details.
Specific information may appear as:
Quotes
Explanations
Details
Personal Examples
Purpose
Though they seem like opposites, general and specific information are actually linked. Think about if you
only used general information: no one would understand what you were talking about, and writing
would be boring. Likewise, if you only used specific terms, no one would the topic you were writing
about. Thus, most writing contains a mixture of both general and specific information in order to
introduce readers to the topic, and then give them details about the topic.
2
Adapted from John Friedlander and www.grammarcommnet.edu/grammar
122
TIPS +
Topic
What is the topic or subject of this reading?
Idea
What is the main idea or overall message of this reading? What is the
message about the topic?
Points
What are the main supporting points? (What evidence, examples,
quotes, or facts does the author present us with to make her main idea
more believable?
Summarize
In no more than 4-5 sentences and using your own words, summarize
the reading.
+
Respond to the reading by answering any of the following
• What is your reaction to this piece and why do you think you
have this reaction?
• What is most interesting and important to you about this article?
123
The Levels of Questioning
Background:
In class you’ve been learning about how important questions are to active reading and learning.
Questions help you discover and clarify information (such as earlier in the class when you
worked on asking specific questions to get specific information from your partners). As well,
we’ve also talked about how questions help you reflect on your processes as a reader and a
writer so that you can improve your reading and writing skills.
Procedure:
Though many times in class I have asked you questions to help get discussions started or to help
you reflect on the assignments, you are going to work on creating your own questions, so that
you can become more independent readers and writers. Of course, most of you already ask
questions all the time; we, however, will be working on a specific type of questions.
Types of Questions:
On a basic level, questions fall into three different categories: factual, inferential and
interpretive, and critical and evaluative. Don’t worry too much about these names right now; we
will be discussing them further throughout the semester.
L e v e l 1:
Factual
L e v e l 2:
Reader & Text:
Reader & Text:
Reader looks for facts
Reader interprets text
Questions Start with:
Exact Words
Who?
What?
Where?
When?
Inferential and Interpretive
Questions Start with:
Why?
How?
Summarize
Compare
L e v e l 3:
Critical and Evaluative
Reader & Text
Reader evaluates text based on
his or her prior experience
Questions Start with:
Agree/Disagree & Why
Critique
What if
124
Practice Questioning Levels with the Teacher
•
Write a Level 1 Question for the teacher: •
Write a level 2 Question for the teacher: •
Write a level 3 question for the teacher: Practice Questioning Levels with the Articles
•
Write a Level 1 Question about each article: •
Write a level 2 Question about each article: •
Write a level 3 question about each article: 125
Inferences
What is an INFERENCE?
An inference is a conclusion about the unknown made on the basis of the known. We see a car
beside us on the freeway with several new and old dents; we infer that the driver must be a bad one. A close
friend hasn’t called in several weeks and doesn’t return our calls when we leave messages; we infer that she is
angry with us. Much of our thinking, whether about casual observations or personal relationships, involves
making inferences. Indeed, entire careers are based on the ability to make logical inferences. In Snow Falling
on Cedars (1995), a contemporary novel by David Guterson, a coroner describes his job.
It’s my job to infer. Look, if a night watchman is struck over the head with a
crowbar during the course of a robbery,
the wounds you’re going to see in his head will look like they were made with a
crowbar. If they were made by a
ball-peen hammer you can see that, too — a ball-peen leaves behind a crescentshaped injury, a crowbar leaves,
well, linear wounds with V-shaped ends. You get hit with a pistol butt, that’s one
thing; somebody hits you with a
bottle, that’s another. You fall of a motorcycle at 40 miles an hour and hit your head
on gravel, the gravel will leave
behind patterned abrasions that don’t look like anything else. So yes, I infer from the
deceased’s wound that
something narrow and flat caused his injury. To infer — that’s what coroners do.
How Reliable Is an Inference?
The reliability of inferences covers an enormous range. Some inferences are credible, but inferences
based on minimal evidence or on evidence that may support may different interpretations should be treated
with skepticism. In fact, the strength of an inference can be tested by the number of different explanations
we can draw from the same set of facts. The greater the number of possible interpretations, the less reliable
the inference.
126
What is a FACT?
We make inferences based on our own observations or on the observations of others as they are
presented to us through speech or print. These observations often consist of facts, information that can be
verified. Marks on the floor lead to a broken window. “A crowbar leaves linear wounds with V-shaped
ends.” Our own observations attest to the truth of these claims. But often we are dependent on others’
observations about people, places, and events we cannot directly observe. Books, newspapers, magazines,
and television programs are filled with reports — facts — giving us information about the world that we are
unable to gain from direct observation. If we doubt the truth of these claims, we usually can turn to other
sources to verify or discredit them.
Facts come in a vast array of forms — statistics, names, events — and are distinguished by their
ability to be verified. Confusion tends to grow less from the facts themselves than from the inferences we
make based on a given set of facts. It is important, however, to think critically about our sources, including
our own observations, in order to understand possible biases.
Eyewitness reports and individual
experiences, your own or those of others, can serve as valuable factual evidence. Whether or not evidence is
accepted depends on how your audience views you as a witness or on their evaluation of a cited witness and
the circumstances under which the report was made.
What is an Opinion?
When we infer that the individual on the pogo stick took one jump too many, we laugh but are
unlikely to express approval or disapproval of the event. On the other hand, when we infer that the woman
in the car in front of us is a poor driver, we express disapproval of her driving skills; we make a judgment, in
this case, a statement of disapproval.
A judgment is also an inference, but although many inferences are
free of positive or negative connotation, such as “I think it’s going to rain,” a judgment always expresses
the writer’s or speaker’s approval or disapproval. Certain judgments are taken for granted, become part of
a culture’s shared belief system, and are unlikely to be challenged under most circumstances. For example,
most of us would accept the following statements: “Taking the property of others is wrong” or “People who
physically abuse children should be punished.” But many judgments are not universally accepted without
considerable well-reasoned supporter may be rejected regardless of additional support and cogent reasoning.
Practice:
Write one Fact:
Write one Opinion:
127
Distinguishing Between Facts, Inferences, and Opinions
Determine whether the following statements are facts (reports), inferences, or judgments and explain your
reasoning. Note that some may include more than one, and some may be open to interpretation.
Example: I heard on the morning news that the city subway system has ground to a halt this
morning; many students will arrive late for class.
“I heard on the morning news that the city subway system has ground to a halt this
morning”: fact. I did hear it and the information can be verified.
“Many students will arrive late for class”: inference: This is a conclusion drawn from the
information about the breakdown of the subway.
1. Video games are promoting racist ideology because the bad guys are always of a different race.
1. For sale: “a A+ paper for Amy’s EWRT 200 class.”
2. Forty-one percent of Californians who die are cremated-almost twice the national average of 21 percent.
4. Megan fox is hot.
3. John Updike, reviewing Tom Wolfe’s A Man in Full, concludes that the novel “amounts to entertainment,
not literature.”
128
129
KWL+TOPIC:
_______________________________________________________________________
What I Know
What I Want to Know
What I Learned
What I Still Want to Know:
130
KWL+TOPIC:
_______________________________________________________________________
What I Know
What I Want to Know
What I Learned
What I Still Want to Know:
131
KWL+TOPIC:
_______________________________________________________________________
What I Know
What I Want to Know
What I Learned
What I Still Want to Know:
132
WRITING ASSIGNMENTS
133
134
Student Questionnaire
EWRT 200
De Anza College
Student Full Name: _____________________ What would you like to be called in-class: _______________
Cell Phone: ________________ E-mail: ___________________________
1. Do you have a job besides school? If so, how many hours per week? _____ Where do you work and do you
enjoy it? Why or why not?
2. What is your major or strongest area of academic interest? Why?
3. How many units are you taking this quarter?
4. Why have you chosen to come to college?
5. Why did you choose to come to De Anza College, and what will you do, academically or professionally,
immediately after you have reached your goals at De Anza College?
6. What may I do to help you be successful in this course? Is there anything personal and/or academic that
you’d like me to know in order to support your success? (Ex. Something I can do as a teacher, challenges
that you have outside the classroom, etc.)
7. What is one subject/activity you consider yourself to be an expert in? 8. What is one topic or cause that you are passionate about? 135
9. What are your three favorite hobbies/activities? 10. What is your favorite quote? 11. What are your three favorite books and/or things you like to read? 12. What are three favorite songs? 13. What are two websites you visit daily? 15. Why are you taking an EWRT 200 class at this time?
136
Pre-Writing for Essay #1
Obstacles in My School Life
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
Relationships/Strategies that Helped Me With the Obstacles
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
137
Essay Outline #1
1. Introduction
a. ______________________________
b. THESIS: __________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
2. Main Points
a. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
b. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
c. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
d. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
e. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
3. Conclusion
a. ______________________________
b. ______________________________
138
Pre-Writing for Essay #2
Issue that you care about in this election
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
How will your candidate help solve your issue?
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
139
Essay Outline #2
Introduction
c. ______________________________
d. THESIS: __________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
Background Paragraph:
e. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
Lines of Argument Paragraphs:
f. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
g. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
h. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
Rebuttal:
i.
______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
j.
______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
Conclusion:

Restate Your Thesis:

Synthesis of How Your Body Paragraphs Proved Your Thesis

Call to Action
140
Essay Outline #3
Introduction
k. ______________________________
l.
THESIS: __________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
Background Paragraph:
m. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
Lines of Argument Paragraphs:
n. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
o. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
p. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
Rebuttal:
q. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
r.
______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
Conclusion:

Restate Your Thesis:

Synthesis of How Your Body Paragraphs Proved Your Thesis

Call to Action
141
PEER REVIEW SHEET for Out of Class Essay #1
Reviewer ____________________________________
Writer _____________________________________
Please answer the following questions about the essay. Pay close attention to ideas, organization, development, and
support. Write on this sheet and on the rough draft. Make clear, helpful suggestions.
1.
What is the thesis? Is it clear in the paper? Underline it on the rough draft.
2.
Does the introduction get your attention? How? Can it be improved?
3.
Does each paragraph have an arguable point? Underline each point.
4.
Does each paragraph have support/evidence? Hi-lite the evidence and put a question mark next to any examples that
seem out of place.
5.
Are there strong/interesting transitions? Circle the transitions. Does the essay flow or is it stilted?
6.
Does the essay have a strong conclusion? Does the author prove his/her thesis?
7.
8.
9.
What part of the essay do you think is least effective and needs work? Please make helpful suggestions for
improvement.
What part do you think is most effective? Explain why.
Important! Does the essay include quotations from research articles to support your thesis/assertions/points? Is the
paper MLA formatted?
10. Draw a squiggly line under all quotes and paraphrase sections, and, then, check to make sure that each one has an intext citation.
11. Does the works cited page follow MLA format, and is it alphabetized by authors last name?
PLEASE DISCUSS YOUR COMMENTS WITH YOUR PARTNER, AND WRITE A REVISION PLAN ON THE
BACK OF YOUR DRAFT
142
PEER REVIEW SHEET for Out of Class Essay #2
Reviewer ____________________________________
Writer _____________________________________
Please answer the following questions about the essay. Pay close attention to ideas, organization, development, and
support. Write on this sheet and on the rough draft. Make clear, helpful suggestions.
1.
What is the thesis? Is it clear in the paper? Underline it on the rough draft.
2.
Does the introduction get your attention? How? Can it be improved?
3.
Does each paragraph have an arguable point? Underline each point.
4.
Does each paragraph have support/evidence? Hi-lite the evidence and put a question mark next to any examples that
seem out of place.
5.
Are there strong/interesting transitions? Circle the transitions. Does the essay flow or is it stilted?
6.
Does the essay have a strong conclusion? Does the author prove his/her thesis?
7.
8.
9.
What part of the essay do you think is least effective and needs work? Please make helpful suggestions for
improvement.
What part do you think is most effective? Explain why.
Important! Does the essay include quotations from research articles to support your thesis/assertions/points? Is the
paper MLA formatted?
10. Draw a squiggly line under all quotes and paraphrase sections, and, then, check to make sure that each one has an intext citation.
11. Does the works cited page follow MLA format, and is it alphabetized by authors last name?
PLEASE DISCUSS YOUR COMMENTS WITH YOUR PARTNER, AND WRITE A REVISION PLAN ON THE
BACK OF YOUR DRAFT
143
PEER REVIEW SHEET for Out of Class Essay #4
Reviewer ____________________________________
Writer _____________________________________
Please answer the following questions about the essay. Pay close attention to ideas, organization, development, and
support. Write on this sheet and on the rough draft. Make clear, helpful suggestions.
12. What is the thesis? Is it clear in the paper? Underline it on the rough draft.
13. Does the introduction get your attention? How? Can it be improved?
14. Does each paragraph have an arguable point? Underline each point.
15. Does each paragraph have support/evidence? Hi-lite the evidence and put a question mark next to any examples that
seem out of place.
16. Are there strong/interesting transitions? Circle the transitions. Does the essay flow or is it stilted?
17. Does the essay have a strong conclusion? Does the author prove his/her thesis?
18. What part of the essay do you think is least effective and needs work? Please make helpful suggestions for
improvement.
19. What part do you think is most effective? Explain why.
20. Important! Does the essay include quotations from research articles to support your thesis/assertions/points? Is the
paper MLA formatted?
21. Draw a squiggly line under all quotes and paraphrase sections, and, then, check to make sure that each one has an intext citation.
22. Does the works cited page follow MLA format, and is it alphabetized by authors last name?
PLEASE DISCUSS YOUR COMMENTS WITH YOUR PARTNER, AND WRITE A REVISION PLAN ON THE
BACK OF YOUR DRAFT
144
Essay Outline #3
Introduction
s. ______________________________
t.
THESIS: __________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
Background Paragraph:
u. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
PIE PARAGRAPHS:
v. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
w. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
x. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
PIE Rebuttal:
y. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
z. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
Conclusion:

Restate Your Thesis:

Synthesis of How Your Body Paragraphs Proved Your Thesis

Call to Action
145
Essay Outline #4
Introduction
aa. ______________________________
bb. THESIS: __________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
Background Paragraph:
cc. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
PIE PARAGRAPHS:
dd. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
ee. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
ff. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
PIE Rebuttal:
gg. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
hh. ______________________________
i. ______________________________
ii. ______________________________
iii. ______________________________
Conclusion:

Restate Your Thesis:

Synthesis of How Your Body Paragraphs Proved Your Thesis

Call to Action
146
Essay #5: Reflective Essay Template
Figurative Title:______________________________
Attention grabber:
Writing is like ____________________ to me because
__________________________________________
Reading is like ___________________ to me because
___________________________________________
Reading and writing together are like___________________________________________________
because____________________________________________________________________________
_________
Background on how you have felt about writing and reading:
Thesis: Even though I ____________________________________ the placement test because
_____________________________, I am ready to succeed in 1A because in 211 I learned how to
____________________ and ________________________.
Body Paragraph #1:
Point: The first reason that I am ready to succeed in 1A is ____________________ because
______________________________________________________________________________
Example #1: what your writing was like before you learned this skill
Example #2: What your writing was like after you learned this skill
Explain how the skill changed your writing and reading for the better.
147
Body Paragraph #2:
Point: Furthermore, after learning the reading skill of ___________________I am ready to succeed in
1A because
______________________________________________________________________________
Example #1: what your reading was like before you learned this skill
Example #2: What your reading was like after you learned this skill
Explain how the skill changed your writing and reading for the better.
Conclusion:
Restate thesis:
Consequently, because I learned _________________ and __________________ in 211 my writing
has become_____________________________________________________________________.
Explain how these two skills really improved your writing and writing process:
What these skills will allow you to do in 1A and your future with writing:
148
PEER REVIEW SHEET for Out of Class Essay #1
Reviewer ____________________________________
Writer _____________________________________
Please answer the following questions about the essay. Pay close attention to ideas, organization, development, and
support. Write on this sheet and on the rough draft. Make clear, helpful suggestions.
12. What is the thesis? Is it clear in the paper? Underline it on the rough draft.
13. Does the introduction get your attention? How? Can it be improved?
14. Does each paragraph have an arguable point? Underline each point.
15. Does each paragraph have support/evidence? Hi-lite the evidence and put a question mark next to any examples that
seem out of place.
16. Are there strong/interesting transitions? Circle the transitions. Does the essay flow or is it stilted?
17. Does the essay have a strong conclusion? Does the author prove his/her thesis?
18. What part of the essay do you think is least effective and needs work? Please make helpful suggestions for
improvement.
19. What part do you think is most effective? Explain why.
20. Important! Does the essay include quotations from research articles to support your thesis/assertions/points? Is the
paper MLA formatted?
21. Draw a squiggly line under all quotes and paraphrase sections, and, then, check to make sure that each one has an intext citation.
22. Does the works cited page follow MLA format, and is it alphabetized by authors last name?
PLEASE DISCUSS YOUR COMMENTS WITH YOUR PARTNER, AND WRITE A REVISION PLAN ON THE
BACK OF YOUR DRAFT
149
PEER REVIEW SHEET for Out of Class Essay #2
Reviewer ____________________________________
Writer _____________________________________
Please answer the following questions about the essay. Pay close attention to ideas, organization, development, and
support. Write on this sheet and on the rough draft. Make clear, helpful suggestions.
23. What is the thesis? Is it clear in the paper? Underline it on the rough draft.
24. Does the introduction get your attention? How? Can it be improved?
25. Does each paragraph have an arguable point? Underline each point.
26. Does each paragraph have support/evidence? Hi-lite the evidence and put a question mark next to any examples that
seem out of place.
27. Are there strong/interesting transitions? Circle the transitions. Does the essay flow or is it stilted?
28. Does the essay have a strong conclusion? Does the author prove his/her thesis?
29. What part of the essay do you think is least effective and needs work? Please make helpful suggestions for
improvement.
30. What part do you think is most effective? Explain why.
31. Important! Does the essay include quotations from research articles to support your thesis/assertions/points? Is the
paper MLA formatted?
32. Draw a squiggly line under all quotes and paraphrase sections, and, then, check to make sure that each one has an intext citation.
33. Does the works cited page follow MLA format, and is it alphabetized by authors last name?
PLEASE DISCUSS YOUR COMMENTS WITH YOUR PARTNER, AND WRITE A REVISION PLAN ON THE
BACK OF YOUR DRAFT
150
PEER REVIEW SHEET for Out of Class Essay #4
Reviewer ____________________________________
Writer _____________________________________
Please answer the following questions about the essay. Pay close attention to ideas, organization, development, and
support. Write on this sheet and on the rough draft. Make clear, helpful suggestions.
34. What is the thesis? Is it clear in the paper? Underline it on the rough draft.
35. Does the introduction get your attention? How? Can it be improved?
36. Does each paragraph have an arguable point? Underline each point.
37. Does each paragraph have support/evidence? Hi-lite the evidence and put a question mark next to any examples that
seem out of place.
38. Are there strong/interesting transitions? Circle the transitions. Does the essay flow or is it stilted?
39. Does the essay have a strong conclusion? Does the author prove his/her thesis?
40. What part of the essay do you think is least effective and needs work? Please make helpful suggestions for
improvement.
41. What part do you think is most effective? Explain why.
42. Important! Does the essay include quotations from research articles to support your thesis/assertions/points? Is the
paper MLA formatted?
43. Draw a squiggly line under all quotes and paraphrase sections, and, then, check to make sure that each one has an intext citation.
44. Does the works cited page follow MLA format, and is it alphabetized by authors last name?
PLEASE DISCUSS YOUR COMMENTS WITH YOUR PARTNER, AND WRITE A REVISION PLAN ON THE
BACK OF YOUR DRAFT
151
LART 78 Final Exam Review
Work with a partner and look through the book to find the definition for each concept and how it
improves your writing.
Concept
Definition
How Knowing this Improves
Your Writing
Brainstorming
Free Writing
Mapping
Purpose
Support/Examples
Verbs
Subjects
Verb Tense
Concrete/Specific Language
Subject-Verb Agreement
Sensory Language
152
Concept
Definition
How Knowing this Improves
Your Writing
Conclusion/So What?
Independent Clause
Dependent Clause
Subordinator
Coordinator
Fragments
Run-Together Sentences
Inappropriate Verb Tense
Shifts
How do you find a verb in a
sentence?
How do you find a subject in a
sentence?
153
GRADING SHEETS
154
Name:___________________
Criteria
AUDIENCE GRADE SHEET
Comments
MIDTERM Topic:
Grade
How interesting was the
Presentation?
How informative was the
powerpoint?
How useful and creative was the
handout?
How visible/interesting was the
attention grabber?
How tasty/connected was the food?
Name:___________________
Criteria
AUDIENCE GRADE SHEET
Comments
MIDTERM Topic:
Grade
How interesting was the
Presentation?
How informative was the
powerpoint?
How useful and creative was the
handout?
How visible/interesting was the
attention grabber?
How tasty/connected was the food?
155
Name:___________________
Criteria
AUDIENCE GRADE SHEET
Comments
FINAL Topic:
Grade
How interesting was the
Presentation?
How informative was the
powerpoint?
How useful and creative was the
handout?
How visible/interesting was the
attention grabber?
How tasty/connected was the food?
Name:___________________
Criteria
AUDIENCE GRADE SHEET
Comments
FINAL Topic:
Grade
How interesting was the
Presentation?
How informative was the
powerpoint?
How useful and creative was the
handout?
How visible/interesting was the
attention grabber?
How tasty/connected was the food?
156
English 200 Grade Sheet:
ESSAY #___:
Name: _________________
INTRODUCTION:
 The introduction has a creative attention getter and gives excellent context to set up the topic.
 The introduction mostly provides what it needs, but needs a stronger attention grabber or more layers of context.
 The introduction does not have an attention getter or context for the topic, so it needs serious attention.
THESIS:
 The thesis is effective in that it is clear, engaging, argumentative, goes beyond fact, and presents a new idea.
 The thesis is clear, but does not present an engaging or new idea, and needs a stronger argument.
 The thesis needs some serious attention so that they fulfill what was discussed in class.
TRANSITIONS:
o The paper uses transitions expertly to create flow between paragraphs and ideas.
o The paper sometimes uses transitions between paragraphs and ideas, but needs more to be effective.
o The paper does not effectively use transitions between paragraphs and ideas.
POINTS / TOPIC SENTENCES
 The Points are effective in that they are clear and go beyond fact.
 The Points are clear, but they need to go beyond fact to something that can be proven.
 The Points need some serious attention so that they fulfill what was discussed in class.
INFORMATION / SUPPORTING EXAMPLES:
 The writer fully supports the Point with examples.
 The writer supports the Point somewhat, but he/she could add more specificity.
 The writer needs to add much more.
EXPLANATION OF EXAMPLES IN BODY PARAGRAPHS
 The writer provides strong analysis or interpretation of the support examples given.
 The writer provides some analysis/interpretation but could go deeper here.
 The writer has little or none of this and needs to provide it.
CONCLUSION:
o Looks backward and explains the Body P’s and forward to what the reader should do with the info
o The conclusion looks backward and fully explains how the body P’s proved the thesis.
o The conclusion does not look backward or look forward.
GRAMMAR/SENTENCE STRUCTURE:
 The writer shows excellent control of sentence structure and grammar.
 The writer shows good control of sentence structure and grammar.
 The writer needs to spend much more time on grammar and sentence structure.
MLA FORMATTING AND CITATIONS
o
o
o
The writer has excellent control of MLA citations and formatting
The writer has good control of MLA citations and formatting with some errors.
The writer needs to spend much more time on MLA because there are multiple errors.
Grade:
Points:
/100
THINGS THAT WORKED :
THINGS TO WORK ON:
157
English 200 Grade Sheet:
ESSAY #___:
Name: _________________
INTRODUCTION:
 The introduction has a creative attention getter and gives excellent context to set up the topic.
 The introduction mostly provides what it needs, but needs a stronger attention grabber or more layers of context.
 The introduction does not have an attention getter or context for the topic, so it needs serious attention.
THESIS:
 The thesis is effective in that it is clear, engaging, argumentative, goes beyond fact, and presents a new idea.
 The thesis is clear, but does not present an engaging or new idea, and needs a stronger argument.
 The thesis needs some serious attention so that they fulfill what was discussed in class.
TRANSITIONS:
o The paper uses transitions expertly to create flow between paragraphs and ideas.
o The paper sometimes uses transitions between paragraphs and ideas, but needs more to be effective.
o The paper does not effectively use transitions between paragraphs and ideas.
POINTS / TOPIC SENTENCES
 The Points are effective in that they are clear and go beyond fact.
 The Points are clear, but they need to go beyond fact to something that can be proven.
 The Points need some serious attention so that they fulfill what was discussed in class.
INFORMATION / SUPPORTING EXAMPLES:
 The writer fully supports the Point with examples.
 The writer supports the Point somewhat, but he/she could add more specificity.
 The writer needs to add much more.
EXPLANATION OF EXAMPLES IN BODY PARAGRAPHS
 The writer provides strong analysis or interpretation of the support examples given.
 The writer provides some analysis/interpretation but could go deeper here.
 The writer has little or none of this and needs to provide it.
CONCLUSION:
o Looks backward and explains the Body P’s and forward to what the reader should do with the info
o The conclusion looks backward and fully explains how the body P’s proved the thesis.
o The conclusion does not look backward or look forward.
GRAMMAR/SENTENCE STRUCTURE:
 The writer shows excellent control of sentence structure and grammar.
 The writer shows good control of sentence structure and grammar.
 The writer needs to spend much more time on grammar and sentence structure.
MLA FORMATTING AND CITATIONS
o
o
o
The writer has excellent control of MLA citations and formatting
The writer has good control of MLA citations and formatting with some errors.
The writer needs to spend much more time on MLA because there are multiple errors.
Grade:
Points:
/100
THINGS THAT WORKED :
THINGS TO WORK ON:
158
English 200 Grade Sheet:
ESSAY #___:
Name: _________________
INTRODUCTION:
 The introduction has a creative attention getter and gives excellent context to set up the topic.
 The introduction mostly provides what it needs, but needs a stronger attention grabber or more layers of context.
 The introduction does not have an attention getter or context for the topic, so it needs serious attention.
THESIS:
 The thesis is effective in that it is clear, engaging, argumentative, goes beyond fact, and presents a new idea.
 The thesis is clear, but does not present an engaging or new idea, and needs a stronger argument.
 The thesis needs some serious attention so that they fulfill what was discussed in class.
TRANSITIONS:
o The paper uses transitions expertly to create flow between paragraphs and ideas.
o The paper sometimes uses transitions between paragraphs and ideas, but needs more to be effective.
o The paper does not effectively use transitions between paragraphs and ideas.
POINTS / TOPIC SENTENCES
 The Points are effective in that they are clear and go beyond fact.
 The Points are clear, but they need to go beyond fact to something that can be proven.
 The Points need some serious attention so that they fulfill what was discussed in class.
INFORMATION / SUPPORTING EXAMPLES:
 The writer fully supports the Point with examples.
 The writer supports the Point somewhat, but he/she could add more specificity.
 The writer needs to add much more.
EXPLANATION OF EXAMPLES IN BODY PARAGRAPHS
 The writer provides strong analysis or interpretation of the support examples given.
 The writer provides some analysis/interpretation but could go deeper here.
 The writer has little or none of this and needs to provide it.
CONCLUSION:
o Looks backward and explains the Body P’s and forward to what the reader should do with the info
o The conclusion looks backward and fully explains how the body P’s proved the thesis.
o The conclusion does not look backward or look forward.
GRAMMAR/SENTENCE STRUCTURE:
 The writer shows excellent control of sentence structure and grammar.
 The writer shows good control of sentence structure and grammar.
 The writer needs to spend much more time on grammar and sentence structure.
MLA FORMATTING AND CITATIONS
o
o
o
The writer has excellent control of MLA citations and formatting
The writer has good control of MLA citations and formatting with some errors.
The writer needs to spend much more time on MLA because there are multiple errors.
Grade:
Points:
/100
THINGS THAT WORKED :
THINGS TO WORK ON:
159
English 200 Grade Sheet:
ESSAY #___:
Name: _________________
INTRODUCTION:
 The introduction has a creative attention getter and gives excellent context to set up the topic.
 The introduction mostly provides what it needs, but needs a stronger attention grabber or more layers of context.
 The introduction does not have an attention getter or context for the topic, so it needs serious attention.
THESIS:
 The thesis is effective in that it is clear, engaging, argumentative, goes beyond fact, and presents a new idea.
 The thesis is clear, but does not present an engaging or new idea, and needs a stronger argument.
 The thesis needs some serious attention so that they fulfill what was discussed in class.
TRANSITIONS:
o The paper uses transitions expertly to create flow between paragraphs and ideas.
o The paper sometimes uses transitions between paragraphs and ideas, but needs more to be effective.
o The paper does not effectively use transitions between paragraphs and ideas.
POINTS / TOPIC SENTENCES
 The Points are effective in that they are clear and go beyond fact.
 The Points are clear, but they need to go beyond fact to something that can be proven.
 The Points need some serious attention so that they fulfill what was discussed in class.
INFORMATION / SUPPORTING EXAMPLES:
 The writer fully supports the Point with examples.
 The writer supports the Point somewhat, but he/she could add more specificity.
 The writer needs to add much more.
EXPLANATION OF EXAMPLES IN BODY PARAGRAPHS
 The writer provides strong analysis or interpretation of the support examples given.
 The writer provides some analysis/interpretation but could go deeper here.
 The writer has little or none of this and needs to provide it.
CONCLUSION:
o Looks backward and explains the Body P’s and forward to what the reader should do with the info
o The conclusion looks backward and fully explains how the body P’s proved the thesis.
o The conclusion does not look backward or look forward.
GRAMMAR/SENTENCE STRUCTURE:
 The writer shows excellent control of sentence structure and grammar.
 The writer shows good control of sentence structure and grammar.
 The writer needs to spend much more time on grammar and sentence structure.
MLA FORMATTING AND CITATIONS
o
o
o
The writer has excellent control of MLA citations and formatting
The writer has good control of MLA citations and formatting with some errors.
The writer needs to spend much more time on MLA because there are multiple errors.
Grade:
Points:
/100
THINGS THAT WORKED :
THINGS TO WORK ON:
160
English 200 Grade Sheet:
ESSAY #___:
Name: _________________
INTRODUCTION:
 The introduction has a creative attention getter and gives excellent context to set up the topic.
 The introduction mostly provides what it needs, but needs a stronger attention grabber or more layers of context.
 The introduction does not have an attention getter or context for the topic, so it needs serious attention.
THESIS:
 The thesis is effective in that it is clear, engaging, argumentative, goes beyond fact, and presents a new idea.
 The thesis is clear, but does not present an engaging or new idea, and needs a stronger argument.
 The thesis needs some serious attention so that they fulfill what was discussed in class.
TRANSITIONS:
o The paper uses transitions expertly to create flow between paragraphs and ideas.
o The paper sometimes uses transitions between paragraphs and ideas, but needs more to be effective.
o The paper does not effectively use transitions between paragraphs and ideas.
POINTS / TOPIC SENTENCES
 The Points are effective in that they are clear and go beyond fact.
 The Points are clear, but they need to go beyond fact to something that can be proven.
 The Points need some serious attention so that they fulfill what was discussed in class.
INFORMATION / SUPPORTING EXAMPLES:
 The writer fully supports the Point with examples.
 The writer supports the Point somewhat, but he/she could add more specificity.
 The writer needs to add much more.
EXPLANATION OF EXAMPLES IN BODY PARAGRAPHS
 The writer provides strong analysis or interpretation of the support examples given.
 The writer provides some analysis/interpretation but could go deeper here.
 The writer has little or none of this and needs to provide it.
CONCLUSION:
o Looks backward and explains the Body P’s and forward to what the reader should do with the info
o The conclusion looks backward and fully explains how the body P’s proved the thesis.
o The conclusion does not look backward or look forward.
GRAMMAR/SENTENCE STRUCTURE:
 The writer shows excellent control of sentence structure and grammar.
 The writer shows good control of sentence structure and grammar.
 The writer needs to spend much more time on grammar and sentence structure.
MLA FORMATTING AND CITATIONS
o
o
o
The writer has excellent control of MLA citations and formatting
The writer has good control of MLA citations and formatting with some errors.
The writer needs to spend much more time on MLA because there are multiple errors.
Grade:
Points:
/100
THINGS THAT WORKED :
THINGS TO WORK ON:
161
Portfolio Instructions
Dear EWRT 200/211 student,
Because the English Department is committed to your success here at De Anza and to your goals
after your education, your writing and reading for EWRT 200/211 will be assessed in a portfolio
both by your EWRT 200/211 instructors. This assessment process has two parts.
First, you must complete the required work in your EWRT 200/211 at a satisfactory level. Your
instructor will give you specific information on both what work is required and the criteria for
earning a SATISFACTORY level.
Second, all students who satisfactorily complete the LART 200 required coursework will submit a
portfolio of their reading and writing assessment.
This writing portfolio will include
•
one in-class paper and
•
one paper written out of class
•
Your Complete CAS Sheet
•
a reflective Essay describing and reflecting on your growth as a reader and writer throughout
the quarter.
This portfolio will be evaluated by your team of instructors at the end of the quarter.
If the assessment team agrees your work indicates readiness for 200, you will get a Mastery in
EWRT 200/211 .
If the assessment team aggress you work indicates 211 level writing, you will receive a Pass in
EWRT 200.
If the assessment team agrees your work does NOT indicate readiness for English 200, you will
receive a NO PASS for EWRT 200/211.
The English Department has created this portfolio assessment system to encourage all students to
become effective writers, one of the hallmarks of a successful student and of a successful
professional.
If you have questions about the portfolio or the portfolio assessment, speak with your instructor.
THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT
DE ANZA COLLEGE
162
Scoring Guide for Essays
Mastery: The majority of the port of the Essay displays these characteristics.
Ideas
•
•
•
Clear understanding of readings and essay topics
Strong awareness of what the reader needs to know about the topic
Clear ability to respond critically to one’s own and others’ experiences and ideas
Organization
• Controlling central idea and overall cohesive structure in each essay
• Clear sequential relationship between supporting ideas and central argument/controlling idea.
• Focused, cohesive paragraphs
Development
• Relevant examples with clear explanations of what the examples demonstrate
• Explanations in body paragraphs clearly linked to controlling idea of essay
• Examples which include detailed support
• Evidence of strong synthesis, argumentation, analysis, and/or problem-solving skills
Style
• Sentence variety
• Strong voice and control of tone
• Effective vocabulary
Mechanics
• Fluency and control of sentence construction
• Almost no syntactic, grammatical, and spelling errors
Passing: The majority of the essay will display these characteristics.
Ideas
•
•
•
Demonstration of basic understanding of readings and essay topics
Most essays show awareness of what the reader needs to know about the topic
Demonstration of ability to respond critically to one’s own and others’ experiences and ideas.
Organization
• Controlling central idea and generally cohesive structure in each essay
• Generally clear sequential relationship between supporting ideas and central argument/controlling idea.
• Generally focused, cohesive paragraphs
Development
• Mainly relevant examples with clear explanations of what the examples demonstrate
• Explanations in body paragraphs usually linked to controlling idea of essay
• Most examples include specific details
• Across the portfolio, writing shows evidence of synthesis, argumentation, analysis, and/or problemsolving skills
Style
•
•
Sentences include some variety
Sentences usually include effective vocabulary
Mechanics
• General fluency and control of sentence construction
• Minimal syntactic, grammatical, and spelling errors
Not passing: The majority of the portfolio lacks the characteristics of the passing portfolios.
163
Ideas
•
•
•
Limited understanding of readings and essay topics
Limited awareness of what the reader needs to know about the topic
The portfolio includes minimal critical response to one’s own and others’ experiences and ideas.
Organization
• Lacks overall of a central focus and logical structure
• Light or uneven relationships between supporting ideas and central argument/controlling idea
• The majority of the paragraphs do not cohere and are not focused
Development
• Body paragraphs include few examples or minimal explanations of what the examples demonstrate
• Explanations in body paragraphs occasionally linked to the controlling idea of the essay
• Examples occasionally include specific details
• Across the portfolio, essays are mainly developed through summary, narrative and/or description
Style
• Sentences only occasionally show variety
• Vocabulary is very basic
Mechanics
• Limited fluency and control of sentence construction
• Frequent syntactical, grammar, and/or spelling errors
164
PARAGRAPH SCORING GUIDE
Mastery:
•
•
•
•
Passing:
•
•
•
•
The point is strong, taking a stance on the topic.
The writer fully supports each topic sentence with informative examples.
The writer provides strong analysis or interpretation of the support in the explanation.
The writer is showing excellent control of sentence structure and grammar and has almost no
errors.
The point is clear, but it needs to take more of a stance.
The writer supports the Point somewhat, but he/she could add more specificity to the examples.
The writer provides some explanation but could go deeper here.
The writer shows good control of sentence structure and grammar, but has several errors.
Not Passing:
• The point isn’t present and needs to be or it needs serious revision.
• The writer needs to add examples or expand examples.
• The writer has little or no explanation and needs to provide.
• The writer needs to spend much more time on grammar and sentence structure.
165
Grading Criteria
"A" paper:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Provocative thesis that engages the reader's interest.
Rich content, dense with supporting material, and developed with concrete and vivid detail.
Provides adequate context or background for understanding ideas.
Essay ordered in necessary steps, revealing a unified and coherent progression and maintaining
focus. Development of essay aided by an expert use of topic sentences and transitions.
Tone that defines the audience and seeks to connect with them.
Great attention paid to stylistic concerns: sentences are varied and forceful; voice is strong and
enhances, rather than distracts from, essay; word choices are appropriate and sometimes
sophisticated.
Language and grammar in accord with standard usage.
Drafts show substantial rethinking and revision.
Conclusion drives home main ideas with convincing finality and/or encourages the reader to
think more deeply about the subject.
"B" paper:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Thesis is assertive, interesting, and engages the reader's interest.
Substantial content, well developed and pertinent. Exhibits thoughtful consideration of subject.
Provides adequate context or background for understanding ideas.
Essay ordered logically and unified around its central idea. Development of essay aided by
topic sentences and transitions.
Tone directed at a clear audience.
Sentences are correct and varied; diction is clear and idiomatic; word choices are appropriate.
Standard grammar and usage followed, with no serious deviations.
Drafts show significant revision.
Conclusion reminds reader of thesis and neatly closes essay.
"C" paper:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Thesis asserts a clear idea, but doesn't assert an opinion.
Supportive material developed competently, but material thin or commonplace, often
dependent on generalities. It may not provide adequate context or background for
understanding ideas.
Essay reasonably well organized, focused on an argument with few deviations. Transitions
possibly bumpy.
Tone adequate for a general audience, but may not connect with particular groups or
individuals as well as it could.
Sentences correct but repetitious in structure and possibly imprecise.
Standard grammar and usage, punctuation, and spelling used, but with a few deviations.
Drafts show revision.
Conclusion restates thesis.
166
"D" paper:
• Thesis general, vague, or confused, leaving reader confused and potentially uninterested.
• Rudimentary development of argument.
• Organization present, but ineffective. Paragraphs jumbled or under-developed. Transitions
unclear or tedious. As a result, argument does not appropriately build.
• Little indication that an audience has been taken into account.
• Sentences often awkward or unclear. Meaning ambiguous.
• Little evidence of proofreading. Essay gives the impression of being hastily composed.
• Drafts show little revision.
• Ineffective or missing conclusion.
"F" paper:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
No discernible thesis controlling essay's content.
Little development of ideas. Most information of uncertain relevance.
Paragraphing lacking or wholly arbitrary. No plan behind argument.
Inappropriate tone for a graded essay.
Sentences are garbled, showing no feel for basic conventions.
Frequent mechanical errors, typos, spelling, and punctuation mistakes.
Drafts show little or no revision.
Missing conclusion.
167
Self-evaluation for participation
Circle the number that corresponds to you level of participation—1 is best; 5 is worst. Explain after
each category if you feel I need additional information.
1. Getting Here
I attended every meeting on time and alert, brought 1 2 3 4 5
my books and stayed for the full meeting.
2. Preparation
I read each text before it was discussed
in class, and marked important passages.
1 2 3 4 5
3. Contributing to Discussion
I offered ideas, examples and/or useful questions
about the material at least once every week.
4. Focus and Classroom Energy
I took notes, listened and took
seriously everyone who spoke,
student or teacher.
I was seriously behind by week 2, and I’ll
probably never get through it all now.
1 2 3 4 5
1 2 3 4 5
I missed a lot and I don’t own
the books. Whatever.
I did my best to be invisible and
wouldn’t talk even if called on.
I was texting, chatting with friends, or doing
other homework in most classes so I didn’t
catch it all.
168
Self-evaluation for writing
Write a few sentences for each. If you turn in a revision for grade replacement, you must submit the
old and new versions.
1. Where are you making progress as a writer?
2. Where do you feel stuck or frustrated?
3. What do you need class time reviewing or working on?
4. If you are turning in a revision, what did you change?
169
Instructor Name: _______________________________
Class Day/Time: _______________________________
EWRT 200 Class Evaluation
Your opinions and experiences are very important to us. Please answer as honestly as possible.
Your answers help us improve the class. Nothing you say will affect your grade in any way.
Thanks.
For each statement, circle the number which most closely describes your feeling and your
experiences.
Strongly
Agree
Agree
Disagree
Strongly
Disagree
1. I like having a class with only a few students.
1
2
3
4
2. What we did in the lab helped my writing
improve
1
2
3
4
3. I liked learning about multiple intelligences.
1
2
3
4
4. I liked thinking and writing about my mentor.
1
2
3
4
5. It was useful to think about the obstacles I
face.
1
2
3
4
6. I liked thinking and writing about my resources.
1
2
3
4
7. Seeing all the topics come together was useful
for me.
1
2
3
4
8. The grammar practice was useful for me.
1
2
3
4
9. My Instructor for this class was helpful to me.
1
2
3
4
10. My INSTRUCTOR in the lab was well organized.
1
2
3
4
11. I was able to get my questions answered in the
lab.
1
2
3
4
12. The best thing about this class was:
13. The worst thing about this class was:
Instructor Name: _______________________________
Class Day/Time: _______________________________
170
LART 78 Class Evaluation
Your opinions and experiences are very important to us. Please answer as honestly as possible.
Your answers help us improve the class. Nothing you say will affect your grade in any way.
Thanks.
For each statement, circle the number which most closely describes your feeling and your
experiences.
Strongly
Agree
Agree
Disagree
Strongly
Disagree
14. I like having a class with only a few students.
1
2
3
4
15. What we did in the lab helped my writing
improve
1
2
3
4
16. I liked learning about multiple intelligences.
1
2
3
4
17. I liked thinking and writing about my mentor.
1
2
3
4
18. It was useful to think about the obstacles I
face.
1
2
3
4
19. I liked thinking and writing about my resources.
1
2
3
4
20. Seeing all the topics come together was useful
for me.
1
2
3
4
21. The grammar practice was useful for me.
1
2
3
4
22. My Instructor for this class was helpful to me.
1
2
3
4
23. My INSTRUCTOR in the lab was well organized.
1
2
3
4
24. I was able to get my questions answered in the
lab.
1
2
3
4
25. The best thing about this class was:
26. The worst thing about this class was:
171
Acknowledgements_____________________________
The vast majority of this reader was compiled by the wonderful and generous Sarah Lisha and
Jean Miller. I join them in thanking the following people for their generous contributions to this
effort:
Kristin Skager
Linda Hein
Natalie Baldwin
Loren Barroca
Leigh Burrill
Ann Cassia
Karen Coopman
Elizabeth Dennehy
Liza Erpelo
Helen Ghilotte
Sugie Goen-Salter
Bonnie Graber
Linda Hein
Chris Hoffpauir
Vita Iskandar
Jo Keroes
Katherine LeRoy
Jodi Naas—the diva!
Aaron Malchow
Erika Malzberg
Sherry Manis
Raquel Montoya Dane
Julie Mowrer
Jenna Palmer
Shannon Pries
Bill Robinson
Christine Schirmer
Jennifer Stevens
Sherry Suisman
Deborah Swanson
Leonora Willis
172
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