The Do You Like Clean Jokes? - Spotlight News | San Diego North

FREE Monthly Paper Take Me Home! Dec. 07
The
Spotlight
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w w w. 4 s p o t l i g h t . n e t
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Do You Like Clean Jokes?
C R O S S W O R D pT 6S
he
potlight
– Page SUDOKU p 7
Published by: Walter & Carole Gobitas, 2420 Vista Way Suite 112,
Oceanside, CA 92054 Copyright 1999 - 2004 All Rights Reserved
The
™
Spotlight
North County’s Collectible Paper
Save the cute pictures & jokes!
Owner / Editor
Walter & Carole Gobitas
Ph #: 760-231-9074
Spotlight Online: www.4spotlight.net
Spotlight on:
E-mail: spotlight-editor@cox.net
Thank you Contributors! For making the
Spotlight North County’s Greal Little Paper!
Plunkett Kid / Grandpa’s Wisdom Mulva/ Crossword Sudoku
Fred / Word Search
Golf
Prof. Smugly
Poet’s Pen
Hearing Advice
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10
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If you don’t read junk mail, why
advertise in Junk Mail?
WHY ADVERTISE? - Remember,
“Out of Sight = Out of Mind”
Smi l e! It will improve your appearance.
La u g h ! It is Internal Exercise.
Make someone else smile & laugh
And you will both be happy.
All Area Codes are 760 if not shown
Consumers Be Aware
• CA state law requires anyone who contracts to do construction or
work of improvement be licensed by the Contractors’ State License
Board in the license category in which the contractor is going to be
working. If the total price of job is $500 or more (including labor &
materials, please verify the person is licensed! (Contractor’s State
License Board: 1-800-321-2752 or www.cslb.ca.gov)
• For health solutions, consult your physician. Health ads and articles
are for informational purposes only.
• For financial solutions, consult your trusted financial advisor.
Financial ads and articles are for informational purposes only.
Gobitas, and The Spotlight reserve the right to not accept an ad. We
accept no responsibility for errors in copy or in advertisements beyond
the cost of the actual space occupied by the error, or for the comments
or claims of our advertisers. All disputes to be settled in Small Claims
Court in Vista, CA.
Plunkett
Did Ya Hear This?
Jerry went to a psychiatrist.
“Doc,” he said, “I’ve got
trouble. Every time I get into
bed, I think there’s somebody
under it. I’m going crazy!”
“Just put yourself in my hands for one year,”
said the shrink. “Come talk to me three times a
week, and we should be able to get rid of those
fears.”
“How much do you charge?”
“Eighty dollars per visit, replied the doctor.”
“I’ll sleep on it,” said Jerry.
Six months later the doctor met Jerry on
the street. “Why didn’t you ever come to see
about those fears you were having?” asked the
psychiatrist.
“Well Eighty bucks a visit three times a week
for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender
cured me for $10.” I was so happy to have
saved all that money I went and bought me a
new pickup!
“Is that so! And How, may I ask, did a
bartender cure you?”
“He told me to cut the legs off the bed!” Ain’t
nobody under there now!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* GEOGRAPHY Two gal living in Oklahoma
were sitting on a bench talking... and one says
to the other: “Which do you think is farther
away...Florida or the moon?
“The other gal turns and says “Helloooooo,
can you see Florida???” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* SPEEDING TICKET A police officer stops a
blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if
he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would
get your act together. Just yesterday you take
away my license and then today you expect me
to show it to you!” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
KNITTING A highway patrolman pulled
alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see
that the lady behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
lights and siren, the trooper cranked down
his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled,
“PULL OVER!”
“NO!” the she yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!”
The Spotlight – Page Grandpa’s Wisdom
Kid W isdom
Science definitions from Kids...
> H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
> To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a
flame in a Test tube.
> When you smell a oderless gas, it is probably carbon
monoxide.
> Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin.
Oxygin is Pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
> Three kinds of blood vessels are: arteries, vanes, and
Caterpillers.
> Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
> Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration,
and then expectoration.
> The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even
Deader.
> Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down
on them and makes them perspire.
> A supersaturated solution is one that holds more than
it can hold.
> Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they
look like umbrellas.
> The pistol of a flower is its only protection against
insects.
> The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been
taken out and the outsides have been taken off.
> The purpose of the skeleton is that it is something to
hitch meat to.
> A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines,
eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.
> The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon.
All water tends towards the Moon, because there is
no water in the Moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I
forget where the Sun joins this fight.
> A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more
extinct it is.
> Equator: a managerie lion running around the Earth
through Africa.
> Germinate: to become a naturalized German.
> Liter: a nest of young puppies.
> Magnet: something you find crawling all over a dead
cat.
> Planet: a body of earth surrounded by sky.
> Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot.
> To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over
the nose.
> For a nosebleed, put the nose much lower than the
body until the heart stops.
> For a head cold, use an
agonizer to spray the nose
until it drops in your throat.
> To keep milk from turning
sour, keep it in the cow.
Be Flexible
“THE stately oak tree is the very
picture of strength. When strong winds
blow, it usually has little problem standing up to
them. While a sturdy oak survives most storms
because of its strength and comparative rigidity
or firmness, the tiny blade of grass also survives
but for quite a different reason. Its secret?
Flexibility. It bends but does not break under the
force of the wind.”
Better to bend then break. Scottish Proverb
The pessimist curses the wind,
The optimist hopes it will change,
The realist adjusts the sails. You can’t direct
the wind but you can adjust your sails.
The key to success is often not the smartest,
nor the fastest, but the one who has the ability
to adapt.
Blessed are the flexible persons for they shall
not be bent out of shape.
Be flexible so you don’t break when a harsh
wind blows.
The superior person is adequately resolute,
but not recklessly inflexible.
In marriage compatibility results from
adaptability.
A wise person is able to adapt to the surprises
of life as water to the decanter it is poured in.
(Chinese Proverb)
Have you ever looked at a spider’s web? It
is delicate and intricate yet it is sturdy and very
flexible.
WHAT KIND OF A TREE ARE YOU?
Be flexible so you don’t break when a harsh
wind blows. We have a choice: we can be like
the tall oak (rigid and firm) or like the waving
willow (flexible and giving)
A heavy snowfall can cripple large trees like
elm and oak due to the weight breaking off the
branches.
On the other hand, evergreens droop with the
burden until it slides off.
So, too, we should not let burdens break us
down. Bend a little perhaps but not break.
The Spotlight - Page 3
Pictures
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Next to Hollywood Video at Mission Ave & El Camino Real
The Spotlight – Page Mulva
Some Women Say:
I was walking down the street when
I was accosted by a particularly
dirty and shabby-looking homeless
woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for
dinner. I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars
and asked, “If I give you this money, will you
buy wine with it instead of dinner?”
“No, I had to stop drinking years ago”, the
homeless woman told me.
“Will you use it to go shopping instead of
buying food?” I asked.
“No, I don’t waste time shopping,” the
homeless woman said. “I need to spend all my
time trying to stay alive.”
“Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead
of food?” I asked.
“Are you NUTS !” replied the homeless
woman. “ I haven’t had my hair Done in 20
years!”
“Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you the
money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for
dinner with my husband and me tonight.”
The homeless Woman was shocked. “Won’t
your husband be furious with you for doing
that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell
pretty Disgusting.”
I said, “That’s okay. It’s important for him to
see what a woman looks like after she has
given up shopping, hair appointments, and
wine.”
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www.CrosswordWeaver.com
DOWN
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Loose gown worn at mass
Luau dish
Aurora
Academy (abbr.)
Noblemen
What a nurse gives
Tan colored wood (2 wds.)
Impost
To incite
Yield
Scent
Labyrinth
Bird perch
Oils
False god graven image
Pasta
Ragu’s competition
Exploiting
Writer Bombeck
Representatives
Baths
Shroud
Breakfast food
Prayer ending
Gossiper
Animals talon
Promotion
Opera solo
Peck
Munch
Computer makers
Sister for short
Microgram
The Spotlight - Page 6
ACROSS
1 Monkey
4 Singing voice
8 Mexican sandwich
12 Water closet
13 Pepsi
14 Bedroom furniture
(2 wds.)
15 N Dakota capital
17 Do it again
18 Attention-Deficit
Disorder (abbr.)
19 Book maker
21 Froth
24 Make fun of
26 Bye
28 Shinglers
32 Toddler
33 Nuts
35 Representative
36 Chopping
38 Florida City
40 Legate
42 Gather
43 Trust
46 Stretch to make do
48 Greek stringed
instrument
49 Communist theory
54 Capital of Western
Samoa
55 Grain
56 Pen brand
57 Wale
58 Parent teacher groups
59 Chinese seasoning
Solution p. 14
SUDOKU
6
4
2
3
1
3
4 5
2
#2
5
#1
There is only
one rule: Fill
in the grid
so that every
row, column
& small grid
contains all
digits 1-6
only once.
4 5
6
1
Solution P. 14
2
Avoid Being----------------------- “Wiped Out”
by Nursing Home Costs
The government can literally claim everything you
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Trusts don’t help! There are strategies to protect you
from financial disaster, even if you don’t have or don’t
qualify for nursing home insurance.
LEGAL MEDI-CAL STRATEGIES
BY ELDER LAW ATTORNEY MARILYN SHEA
UPCOMING SEMINARS
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Come learn about many
Legal strategies.
Seating is Limited.
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Legal professionals, financial planners and insurance agents will be charged $1,000
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The Spotlight – Page Just
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Medical Director
Here’s How Our Patients Feel After
Dr. James Davies is a boardcertified ophthalmologist, and a
Having Crystalens Surgery
world leader in lens implant techJoanne Davidson, Murrieta
“It was the greatest experience”
nology. He has performed 11,037
cataract procedures and counting, “The results have been just fantastic…
it makes me feel younger”
with exceptional results. His pracDee Gillis, Carlsbad
tice has also been designated a
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The Spotlight – Page Fred WORD SEARCH
Falling Rocks
The old Indian chief called for the
two bravest warriors in the tribe.
“Running Buffalo & Falling Rocks, you go and
seek buffalo skins. Whichever of you returns
with the most skins will become the next chief.”
A month later, Running Buffalo came back
with nearly a hundred pelts. Sadly, Falling
Rocks never returned. The tribe organized
a search and looked everywhere, but they
couldn’t find the missing brave anywhere.
Today, as you drive through the West, you
can see the evidence of love and devotion the
tribe had for this lost warrior. Throughout the
highways, on interstates and side roads, you
can still see their signs that say, ‘Watch for
Falling Rocks.’”
Mohnacky
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Panama Canal
[Solutions p.14 ]
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GLASSWARE • CERAMICS
The Spotlight – Page 10
POTTERY, ETC.
760/758-8004
AR I B B E
C J N A T P
AQP EN A
SMA S K C
P B NHN I
I T A T B F
AWM R N I
N Z AO T C
S K CNBO
ER A L X C
A L NQME
T K A L T A
DX LWV N
www.WordSearchMaker.com
Arctic
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Atlantic Ocean
Caribbean Sea
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Gulf of Mexico
Hudson Bay
Indian Ocean
LINENS
Brainy
C
K
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I
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K
A
L
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A
Golf
ICM
Lamaze Class
The Lamaze class was in full swing. The room
was full of pregnant women and their partners.
The instructor was teaching the women how
to breathe properly and was telling the men
how to give the necessary assurances to their
partners at this stage of the pregnancy.
She said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is
good for you. Walking is especially beneficial.
It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make
delivery that much easier!”
She then looked at the men in the room. “And
gentlemen, remember. You’re in this together.
It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with your
partner.”
The room suddenly got very quiet as
everyone absorbed this information. Then a
man at the back of the room slowly raised his
hand.
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“Yes”? answered the instructor.
“I was just wondering, wouldn’t it be even
more beneficial to her if she carried a golf bag
while we walk”?
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Improve Your Golf Game!!!
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4 0 3 5 O c e a n s i d e B l v d . C - 11 , O c e a n s i d e
The Spotlight – Page 11
MahiMahi with Onion, Capers & Lemon
A Mediterranean flavor for this fish.
3 Tablespoons olive oil
1 large onion, halved lengthwise, then
thinly sliced crosswise
3 Tablespoons water
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
3 Tablespoons butter
3 Tablespoons capers (in brine), rinsed,
drained, & coarsely chopped
2.5 Tablespoons fresh lemon juice
4 (6oz) pieces mahimahi fillet 1.5 to 2” thick
3/4 teaspoon salt
2Tablespoons chopped fresh flat-leaf
parsley
L o r et t a th e R ea ltor
S el l s H ou s es !
* Heat 2Tablespoons oil in a 12” heave skillet
over high heat until hot but not smoking, then
saute onion, stirring frequently, until golden,
about 6 min. Stir in water and 1/4 teaspoon
pepper & cook, stirring, until onion is softened,
about 1 min. Stir in butter until melted, then stir
in capers & lemon juice. Remove from heat &
keep warm, covered.
* Preheat broiler.
* Pat fish dry, then brush all over with remaining
Tablespoon oil & sprinkle with salt & remaining
1/4 teaspoon pepper. Put fillets on rack of a
broiler pan & broil about 5 “ from heat until just
cooked through, 6 to 8 minutes.
* Serve fish topped with onion mixture &
sprinkle with parsley.
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References Available
Call Marybeth @ (760) 930-0776
The Spotlight – Page 12
THE ITALIAN LOAN
An Italian walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer.
He told the loan officer that he was going to Italy on business for two weeks and
needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the
loan, so the Italian handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on
the street in front of the bank. The Italian produced the title and everything checked
out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized
for having to charge 12% interest.
Later, the bank’s president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Italian
for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank
then drove the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, the Italian returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07.
The loan officer said, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this
transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were
away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles
us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”
The Italian replied: “Minga, where else in New York City can I park my car for two
Reverse Mortgages
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How can a Reverse Mortgage could benefit you?
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2385 Camino Vida Roble #107
Carlsbad, CA 92011
800-760-5156
HUD LIC # 23607-0000-1
www.marketplacefunding.com
info@marketplacefunding.com
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The Spotlight – Page 13
Professor Smugly
The Beauty of Math!
1x8+1=9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
Brilliant, isn’t it?
Word Search Solution
A man went to the airline counter. The ticket agent
asked, “Sir, do you have reservations?” He replied,
“Reservations? Of course I have reservations, but I’m
flying anyway.” Crossword Solution
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Sudoku Solutions #1
5
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DOES YOUR HOME
Have a drippy faucet? Or loose Electrical sockets?
Need a Light switch or a new dimmer installed?
Need a Door lock installed / replaced? How about a
lamp re-wired or fixed? Toilet flush problems?
Then Call: Gene Schonrock
“Mr. Fix-It For Seniors”
Oceanside, Carlsbad, Vista and San Marcos
Home Ph: 760-754-8728 Cell Ph: 760-505-5023.
The Spotlight – Page 14
Poet’s Pen
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Esco
A row of bottles on my shelf
Caused me to analyze myself.
One yellow pill I have to pop
Goes to my heart so it won’t stop.
A little white one that I take
Goes to my hands so they won’t shake.
The blue ones that I use a lot
Tell me I’m happy when I’m not.
The purple pill goes to my brain
And tells me that I have no pain.
The capsules tell me not to wheeze
Or cough or choke or even sneeze.
The red ones, smallest of them all
Go to my blood so I won’t fall.
The orange ones, very big and bright
Prevent my leg cramps in the night.
Such an array of brilliant pills
Helping to cure all kinds of ills.
But what I’d really like to know...........
Is what tells each one where to go!
Make someone LAUGH!
PILLS
In Vista Since 1956
SMILE! - Someone is
Watching You!
The Spotlight – Page 15
Saved
DoIYou
Know
Philip
SomeReynolds?
Money!
The fact is that no one knows what they haven’t
heard! They’re not convinced of not hearing well
& no one really wants to wear hearing aids.
Advice for Friends & Family:
• Don’t Nag - Calmly Discuss. Communication
is important to you & you want both to feel
comfortable.
• Don’t Ignore the Problem. Don’t make an issue
of it every day, but hearing loss doesn’t go away.
• Don’t Compensate. If you talk louder than normal
or put up with loud TV, then you’re helping them
to pretend there isn’t a problem. Yes, sometimes
you have to speak up to be understood. But it is
important to let them know that you’re talking louder
than normal.
HELP IS AVAILABLE!
Yes, you saved some money!
But I really would prefer that you had
a real hearing aid!
We are here for Family Counseling and as Hearing aid Manufacturers we can give you every financial and service advantage.
If you know anyone with a hearing loss, please give this
article to them and encourage them to CALL for a FREE
HEARING TEST and Listening Demonstration to see if
Hearing aids can make a difference in both of your lives.
Call Now
...
754-8151
DIGITAL HEARING AIDS – FACTORY DIRECT
Hi, my name is Walter Gobitas.
My nephew, Tim Reisinger, and I wear hearing aids. We
understand your concerns and frustrations. Please accept our
personal invitation for you and a friend to come and listen
through different types of hearing aids in different sound environments. You decide which technology works best for you.
Then, because we are Manufacturers, We will Custom Craft my
Remedy Hearing Aids with that circuitry to fit your acoustic
and psychological needs.
Audiologists & Dispensers with a hearing aid problem
call the Factory for help. You Can Too!
Without hearing aids
Everyone knows
YOU have a
Hearing Problem!
emedy Hearing Aids Why Pay Retail?
(760) 754–8151
Who knows more about
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By appointment 8 am–5 pm Mon - Sat
2420 Vista Way #112, Oceanside, 92054
the Factory?
www.4HearingAids.com
Who can give you more?
We REPAIR all brands
Need Batteries? 50 cents/ea
The Spotlight – Page 16